and so, it was a 17-10 win to Bedok Kings.
yesterday, 7 march, was the finals for the annual Club 15s.
my first season with Bucks.
we lost to Kings in the both matches in the pool stages.
we won both NTU games.
we lost to Blacks the first round, but won them in the 2nd round which was the deciding match that happened last Tues night. if we had lost that round, we wouldn't be in the finals. so, that game was really intense. it was supposed to be played 2 weeks back before CNY, but Blacks postponed it due to the lack in numbers. i think it was really good for us coz it gave us more time to put our shit together.
finals was a more controlled kinda 'intense'. such a rare feat coz usually when the game goes into "intense mode", it is never conrolled.
u know, at half time, it was a freaking 0-0. it was really anybody's game. i guess both sides had an unspoken agreement that whoever scores first would be the team to win the gold.
and so, Kings scored first due our missed tackles. soon, 2 more tries came in within like 15mins. it was like a sudden failure of systems. but in the last 15mins of the game, we managed to put in 2 more tries against them.
i guess if given more time, say 10mins... the outcome would have been different. ahhhas.
but nonetheless, it was a great game.
its not often that u'd walk out of the field with ur heads high alongside with the opponents cheering in the background while settling for the lower of the scores.
well played on both sides and i guess this will be one of the games for the record.
so, my first season with them after training with Blacks for about 4 yrs perhaps. to cut the long short, the decision to switch club wasn't an easy one. but ultimately, i couldn't commit to Blacks' trng schedule which demanded lots of commitment. not saying that Bucks require less commitment, but i guess it was easier to manage everything - physically & mentally with Bucks.
played flanker whole time. still think i suck at it coz of my not up-to-par tacking skills. still having that hesitation to clear out. but thanks Bucks for giving me this opportunity.
it really felt good when everyone is on the same page on the same field.
this yr was also abit different with the national 7s girls not playing in this league. and i guess, that was also one the reasons that Bucks was able to make it to the finals for the first time. all along since Womens' Rugby came about, it has always been between Blacks and Bedok Kings (known as SRC then). Blacks backline is usually made of the national girls, so strong that some of the national girls are benched.

great improvement to the both of them. they are also one of the reasons that i didnt give up rugby last yr. last yr, i really struggled alot, thinking if i should totally abandon this sport since its too time and commitment demanding. its not just about turning up for team trngs, but it also requires u to do ur own gym and fitness if u really wanna be make it in the game; i.e to be physically strong to survive all the tackles and last the 2 x 40mins in the hot sun. i felt myself dragging my entire being to trngs with strong pressure from a job that never ends on time with no OT pay. that was then.
this yr, the line of best fit got abit better with a change in both my daily job as well as the rugby club.
and on the same day in the morng, it was the SIA Group run at Punggol waterway park. first time running at that park and it was really a beautiful clear blue skied morng.
8am was the first flag off. the guys flagged off first, and followed by the womens which was 3 waves after; so we started about 30 mins after them.
hahas. i thought our class was gonna to walk and they were waiting somewhere for me.... so i ran all the way, trying to search for them. my intention wasn't to run at all coz of the rugby finals in the afternoon. after the 3km mark, i didn't see any of them and since i was alrdy running quite fast, might as well run all the way.
ahhas. in the end, i clocked in 30mins; probably the fastest 5km i've ever did since i had that mindset of "chasing" for 3 quarters of the way. i did walk to stretch abit coz my hammies were getting tight from the week's gym workout.
us with the new batch of trainees. quite nice that we were able to interact with each other abit more.
hahas. and mr sim took a photo of me while running and sent to me.
quite funny coz he's the guy that takes care of the OJT matters pertaining to our trainings.
this week, actually i didn't have a good week.
I FAILED SHEET METAL. the practical side of it coz i didnt drill 6 holes. actually quite suay, coz the assessor saw but didn't say. if it was other assessor, i would have passed. the instructor was also busy helping others that he didn't notice my mistake coz i was assumed to be fine on my own.
but yea, suck means suck. ahhas. best part is, i did the layout correctly, just never follow through, so, i failed because of the layout. tmd.
quite irritated coz my workmanship wasn't an issue. if i failed coz of poor workmanship, ok i will accept that. but if i failed because of not drilling 6 holes....... grrr.
ok la. not good means not good. i should deserve it.
on the more positive side, ok, at least i get 1 more work day to practice my sheet metal all over again during the assessment since its not everyday that u'd be drilling and rivetting on aircrafts.
i hope that the re-assessment wont fall on a working day of my shift hours when i go line, dont want to miss any opportunity while at Line when i'm at Line; coz as of now, the possibility of me getting posted to Hangar is reallly high.
but yea, pretty sad coz now i dont have a clean record of my grades. it just felt like all those hard work for the modules to get perfect scores went down the drain.
anyway, onto something happier, met up with estee last sat! slackked at her place for a while before catching a late night movie with her and zh at balestier.
and yes.... HAPPY BIRTHDAY LOVE!
sometimes i do look back and regret not accepting my fate while getting posted to Mechatronics (and then opting for Business Marketing using my sports) after graduating from Secondary school. she's is one of the main reasons why i thank God for that switch so that our paths crossed. i mean, if i was in engineering sch, it would have been more useful and getting good grades wouldn't be such a challenge when ur answers are like logic gates either a 0 or 1, no doubt about it. in marketing, though u may sound technically legit, if the markers dont buy it, they dont buy it.
then again, i wouldnt get to know how the world works in terms of $$$ with all the demand and supply forces and also wouldnt be getting my degree before 20.
lastly, havent been climbing since i have been busy and abit lazy. planned to climbed today but it rained when i was planning to meet the guys at Onsite today.
and during this week, i managed to do a pull up!
like finallyyy.
it was random, and i did 2 somemore. ahahs. i mean, i've installed that bar since like poly days or smth, after being inspired by the dragonboaters who could do so many at 1 go. along the way, i gave up coz i didn't see a point in doing a pull up anyway. aahhas. but during this week, i decided to try and tadahhh... was shocked that i was able to pull myself up! ahaash :D.
actually the first unexpected time was the during the last climbing trip, coming back from Batu cave climb while we're playing at the playground during the pit stop. played around with the monkey bars and shocked that i pulled myself up. aahhas. it was different from this one coz my arms were facing inwards rather than this lateral one. so, so it shows, gymming pays off. that's big encouragement to me coz its a tangible result. aahhas.
Just came back from a wake today again. one of the church aunties passed away ytd due to cancer. Really sad coz shes one of the aunties i grew up with. nice humble lady who does many things behind the scene without complaining. She has 2 daughters and 1 son.. all around my age if not, slightly younger. Glad shes in a better place now.. may peace be upon them throughout this trying times.
wanted to blog an emo post this week actually but didn't went on coz i didn't want to lapse into emo mode while successfully being succummed to my 2 newer mobile phone games - Tap Titans & Extreme Landing. the latter is a much more enriching one since its abt landing an aircraft and its challenging while the first game is a stupid, pointless but highly addictive game. ahahahs.
just last night, it was a party night out at Boat Quay. its almost ritual for the ladies to let loose after the game especially since it was the finals and we ended it well. i decided to ride out just to ensure i dont drink too much. not the clubbingg type, but i drank abit. 1 pint beer and 1 shot. but i rmbr my glass was never empty since Tiff was happily pouring her smirnoff all over. probably abit too much overall, but still sane. but with alcohol and the seclusion while trying to refrain from being dragged to the dance floor, i did find myself trying to battle out those... thoughts.
also, with the frequent smoke breaks from the girls, i was surprised to find myself suppressing the urge want to smoke. i never liked smoking and i'm a strong believer in staying clean and free from those stuff that's not gg to help in ur health & fitness. but well, we can't deny that it gives u that ican'tdenynice feeling right. its bad. its financially unnecessary and its a no no.
at the end of the day, i'm really proud that i was able to walk away at the end of it. wasn't easy. i knew that if i started, it would just get more difficult.
that's abt life sometimes uh. sometimes ppl give an inch, we just wanna whack up that mile.
its not about trying to prove a point that u're in control or what, but its more like.. how much do u really value ur principles. what really matters.
but yea, before riding, i was abit apprehensive coz i felt abit of the alcohol kicking in. really wished that u could just come and take me and my bike home, but i had to constantly remind myself to stay away from whatsapp since i gotten myself into this state. 1 msg can mean all the things, bring back all the pain and then all the feeling of regret and remorse follows.
otw home, lucky to have not too many traffic lights, saw abit of blue and red blinker lights and felt all the guilt on my plight. thank God they were just passing vehicles. had to rmbr and embrace the times when i felt victorious while riding past those roadblocks since i was alcohol free.
note to self: just dont be too confident and take things for granted next time.
its been probably almost a yr since we've not contacted. abit disappointed to not be able to find ur name after scrolling down whatsapp, but its probably also a good thing that i've got my new phone in which i'm forced not to dwell on the past since i dont get to see those old msges. and just like that, its gonna to be 3 yrs since we've met and almost unbelivable that i still have clear memories of the things u've spoken to be while in the cockpit and that car. hahas. funny how the human brain chooses to rmbr certain moments in ur life, clearly in full HD.... like what was i looking at when u said certain stuff.
sometimes its too damn clear that u start to question urself - y cant i do that for my exams. hahas.
well, by now, i should be convinced and clear that i'm out of ur life and vise versa. sometimes i do ask myself if i'm just a void, a stand in, or another blank space to be filled up in someone else's life.
what's my purpose?
where do i stand?
how much do i actually mean to u?
then again, i would ask these qns to myself with u as the subject.
initially, it was probably abt waiting, waiting for heated moments to cool down and sink in some understandings. but i guess while the cooling takes place, like a boiling water loosing its steam over time, the mirror above it gets clearer.
in this curent society that is commited to advancement, its about hypothesis, experiments and eventual risk takings. more often than not, we take uncalculated risks... its not that we dont want to make the calculations, but sometimes, we are unable to. we just need to make those assumptions to start off that one step. though its just one step, it is a step that dictates ur direction.
by now, its just time to give up and take a break from all these emotional battles that i've created on my own. if its worth it for both sides, it would have been.
perhaps its has always been one sided, all.my.life.
i am just not able to step out of myself and let go. instead of bringing misery to the ppl around me, let's just keep it in and deal with it. just rmbr that whatever it is - do not act on impulse.