whoas. i haven't blogged in the whole of dec when i did have a social life other than working.
blogging has been abit tougher since it requires me to turn on my laptop when now everything is on the mobile. so mostly, my thoughts and posts haven turned to instragram instead. (my post on my Bromo trip is still saved as draft. hahahs)
looking back, 2015 was kinda a subtle one. i cant' really rmbr much of the significant things that happened, perhaps the top 3 things (with the help of fb posts) was:
1) i finally passed out as a technician
2) finally started with class 3 license.
3) travelled to Surabaya-Bali and climbed Mt Bromo, Mt Ijen and Mt Batur
4) first bike trip out of Singapore to Malacca
5) switch rugby club... from Blacks to Bucks
but the more impt thing that i've changed about myself over the past few years is that, intrinsically,
1) i've learnt to decide on doing the things i want to do rather than always having to succumb to pressures (rather than responsibilities)
2) still learning to let go, and better
3) i've learnt to give more time to myself
overall, 2015.. wasn't a great one. survivable, but can definitely be better. lost a few friends to misunderstandings at work, but if i've tried to salvage it while they just choose to be petty at it, this is when i should ask myself what's worth?
fitness-wise, statistically, around this age, i should be hitting my peak. heh. hahas. so though i haven't been pushing myself alot this yr, neither have i died at games or trngs. hahas. i guess over the years, this is the year that i've not been to alot of trngs and when i do, i am late. but honestly, i guess my work itself can be counted as gym sessions (at times) especially when we're doing engine change.
haven't also been climbing as much coz towards year end, i had an knee injury at work.
i've got back to dance, only tap but not ballet coz of time and knee.
alot of friends got married and gave birth this yr too.
passing of LKY
SG50
dramatic General Elections with sub-par election results
28th Sea Games in SG
ahhas. so to reflect and make those new year resolutions count, this is what i aimed to do last yr:
1 - never took any B1 papers coz i'm still considering other routes to get to my goal. no money too.
2 - YES i have saved up. good job. just no time to deposit them in to the bank.
3 - heh oook la. because i'm no longer sitting in the office, and also due to the nature of my job, i havent been eating alot of junk as compared to last yr. been eating moderately also coz financally, i can't sustain the way i eat when i'm feeling hungry.
and yes, i can do 3 pull ups at 1 go this yr! #achievementunlocked #finally i dont specially train to do pull ups, but for the gym sessions i've been to, its mostly for shoulders and legs. i guess climbing also helps.
sorry, no washboard abs coz i still struggle to discipline myself to wake up and do abs trng. hahas.
idk if i've been more confident or otherwise, just that i'm starting to realize that i want to have better looking clothes. not to a point of needing them, yet though. hahas.
5 - i think i've gymmed slightly more as compared to last yr coz of the sportsclub membership. with experienced gained at work everyday, yes i am a more effective technician as compared to the day i passed out.
6 - hahas. i think i haven't improved alot as a climber. no money to get rope and quick draws yet.
7 - YES. this yr i should be having a class 3.
8 - none of the above, and maybe not these few yrs. did bromo though.
9 - yes, spent alot of time with mother poon and friends this yr. (skipping trngs to hang out with friends. always felt that it was grave crime to do so until i've learnt to manage expectations and time)
10 - emo nights. hahas. hmm. i guess much lesser this yr as compared to the last, but i should have faith and not really consciously go and figure things out. just let it be.
so yes.
goals.
i guess as we grow older, we still have fluctuating thoughts and ideas due to the situations and circumstances we face everyday. its like, we're always modulating to reach an equilibrium where we can be satisfied and find solace, but the truth is, we can't. humans can never we satisfied and we will always want better for ourselves or if not, more for ourselves.
so what's next.
1) be a more efficient technician. i've learnt to recognize and accept my limitations as a petite girl. but just like a rugby game, there's different roles and positions available in which we can still contribute.
2) study hard. going back to sch next year, and it is not an easy course. i realllyyyyy want to ace everything. but i guess if i work consistently and have given my best with what i have, i should be proud of myself.
3) time management. this yr will be crucial. adapting to work and sch is priority. and its not just of this, but there are also the inevitable work/social resistance/politics and responsibilities.
4) climb more. gym more. go out more. idk how is that gg to fit in with sch and work and the need to earn more money to pay my sch fees (and get a laptop by jan). i guess i need to believe that taking a step back will allow me to take more steps forward and use it wisely.
5) God. 2015 has been all year dry. though this should be the first on the list, i'm still humbling myself and learning how to put Him as my first; this should be easy coz whenever i let God be my pilot and my compass, i find it easier to reconcile with the challenges and the difficult times.
6) people. there are really people worth losing. i've never thought i could come to terms with that, but as i grow older, i'm beginning to see the need to love myself first before i can love the people around me. it shouldn't really be justified as a selfish thought but perhaps a parameter for me to do better as a person overcoming my insecurities and self-esteem issues.
7) special you's. hahas. in one of my previous post, i did vomit out all my deepest thoughts and feelings. and to all the special 3, this yr it has been so mentally challenging that it has pushed me to finally let go coz it feels good to do so. of course, the quiet nights have given ample room for my mind to re-live those happy memories we had together, but i should also accept that it is ok to re-live those happy moments, but not allow them to be chains to the past.
instead of constantly being on an escape route and hurting people who comes along the way, i really should learn to accept myself, my past and know what i am doing.
8) probably save up more to bring mother poon overseas again. (and not just msia)
9) i did think of going into investments in 2015; i've got an investment plan too, but i'd like to take it abit further once i've settled down with sch and work.
10) haha haven't really thought much but perhaps generally as a person, as much as i want to give, i should learn how to recieve with grace too. having said that, i also want to be a better person to give the most of my ability. want to be a more patience person without lowering my standards and to better manage my expectations.
so that's pretty much about it.
hope to blog more this yr!
its a way for me to document my happy times and thoughts, to look back and smile at the things that have allowed me to be who i am today.
