redbull

met sara for breakfast this morng. 9am! nice seeing her. makes me feel happy. hahas.


then. went for redbull interview. hahs.
yea.


sick. like vomitting and flu. haha.
tmr's semi finals and sundown marathon!!

champions league

happy that Man U lost. hahas.
Barcelona's gd. the way they played.. sia la. Messi's like.. whoas. he can join bball man. did u see how high he jumped to get that header.

proves one thing: small ppl can do great things.

the commentator can agree with me to that also. hahah.
Man U only depends on that no. 7. ahahs. see his face keep coming up on the screen want to like tie him to a chair and twist his ankles. ahhas.omg. so mean. he so mean to other ppl! hahas




ok. so

today,
i mega failed with 2 immediate and 30 pts. tmd
i thought i could do better. each time i do.. like get worse. hahhas. HAIZ.
5TH TIME MAN.





u know,
sometimes i think the world strive too hard to be someone else. to be someone one is not that proud of. its like... we start living by ppl's judgemental calls rather than by our principles and logics.

i think life is tough. ya ya, no one said it's easy. hahs. but i'm enjoying every bit of it.




when i was younger... i go to church because i really loved sermons.. its like. tadah.. a new aspect of the Bible, closer to God and knowing Him and all.. and... ppl actually questioned my faith and purpose of gg church and not it a nice way. its like.. wth; a way that they THINK it should be and not mine. its like governing my life purpose. then that faded away..

and then.. its the friends. the wanting to bond. the wanting to just have fun. then, the meetings come in. ppl start to get busy. if u reject some sort of assigned task.. u're like indirectly rejecting fellowship time which is so ironic. want to go out, not free. want to eat tgt, busy. haha. then later... it faded away.

so.. it turned to my mum. mum goes to church so i go to church.. OR.. i go to church, mum goes to church. i want mum to go to church.
now, she's like fully and highly taking care of the aka ICU baby, i've lost drive. i even find it a chore. something i need to fulfill and not like willingly want to do.
u know, i can like picture how sad God is. here i am, He loves me so much and there i am running away. both parties tangled.
and the best part is, i know that all these is blatantly 'wrong' and i keep running.
win alrdy.


maybe ppl can point finger at the rebellious figure of me. at the the-more-u-want-it-the-more-i-dont-give-in attitude. well, heck it. its like.. "hey.. keep praying" and then, pray without doing any actions. yes, God is a God of miracles, no buts but.. it takes 2 bloody hands to clap hard.


blame me, doubt me, accuse me, reprimand me and my faith for all i care. its like.. many chances wasted. i've tried and now that i've retreated, ppl start marching forward.

u see. humans DO NOT treasure current things. they only know how to regret when they lose them. just like how i lost my dad and feeling all regretful that i didn't play more with him and so on.




actually, this phase has been quite a while leading to now. 2 yrs? from the time we moved back to PP? church as become a place where ppl keep doing things to expand expand expand, to bring in more ppl. and, forgetting our own dying soldiers. and even working so hard on the Sabbath day. everyone's tired, everyone's watching, talking, but no sincere actions.

did i mentioned, during the shortest mission trip i ever had in march.. i really struggled alot. my heart wasn't right and i went in faith because i felt that i needed to help out. i felt that it was the longest time ever on those nights. i felt like crushed up metal. rusting in the sea, letting the waves hit me hard and still not responding, but surely, rusting.


i dont think anyone has the best concoction to have an excellent and perfect church or ministry besides the One up there. but i do know that its not the things that we do in church that keeps the body of christ strongly together, but its more of the strong relationship bonds and friendship that has been cultivated through sacrifices and deeply sincere hearts.
it's not out of responsibility, but out of pure love. there's a huge difference in a long run.
maybe that's just my own thinking w/o a stance.
just like squeezed out toothpaste that cannot be retracted. but, with effort and much patience and countless failures, i believe that the paste can actually go back into the tube. much battle scars will remain, but what's saved, will be saved for long.



ya ya, go ahead. read this and then talk abt this amongst urselves, and then, ask me out for meals to clarify. i'm tired of all these wanting-to-make-things-right.
i dont have the answers nor can i give u the answers that u ppl want to hear and feel happy about. i'm just gg to pray, and really start being obedient to God once again and not to man.



enough of blabbing emo stuff.




oh man. i'm down with flu.
sat morng semi finals agains UWC. tmd. 1st vs 4th and 2nd vs 3rd. we're 2nd. UWC's super gd.. they're 3rd coz they had lots of bi games.

slides

went sengkang pool to swim today.

ahhas. all the slides.
last time p4 and all.. not scared.. just go only. now.. scared like made. some more its like.. maybe 4 times less scary.


yea. that's abt it.

got a call from this co. that i applied for PT job way long time ago.
kinda sian to go for the interview as i still wanna waste my hols away. ahhas.
time to change perspective. instead of spending my last few hols of my life nua-ing away and actually enjoying my life at home doing what i want to do.. maybe this PT job will allow me to open my eyes to more sporting scenes in SG.




u see,
after Uni, it'll be like straight into the workforce all the way. thus, during this period of time, its my only offical hols forever. haha. so yea. i do want to treasure it and do the many trails in sg, pass my bike ASAP and so on. hahas.




my neck's getting better! (:


oh yea. mum wanted to throw some of my assessment bks away sometime back. i dugged it all back and started to do instead of playing PSP on the way home or smth. ahahas. sec 2. I DONT KNOW how to do alot of Q! siaow man. felt super stupid now and very clever last time. hahahs. so i'm stuck at sec 2. ahhahas. but was fun.

museum

watched Night at the Museum 2 today.
it's been a long time since i've watched such a hilarious movie. ahhas. should watch it. ahahhs. super entertaining.




friends.
dont call them also make noise.
call them also not free.


how man.






hahas. tsk tsk. this world just dont know how to think rationally.
or for that matter, practically.





i want to ride more.

it was my wk ends

on sat, it was Singapore All Schools.
TP sent in 4 teams!!
hahas. ok. i ref-ed like 9 games. 10-1-10.
i finally got an official whistle.
and TP snr team won (: was damn tight with RP.


super tired


today. after every valued rest, my calves ached. ahhas.
didn't stretch ytd.
afternoon, i went to see the Kent Ridge trail com.
didn't get to see my hot girl ):. hahas
but, i saw too many super cool bikes.

makes me feel "at the bottom of the food chain". quoted from dickson and geraldine.



ian's there. he's gooood.
makes me feel inspired.

editing

failed prac 5 again.
2 immediate failures, 16pts.


collected sundown race pack today.
went home edit photos.
and watch all the X-Men movies.



feels like a sat.

the rides

had theory lessons today.
boring.




i've so much thoughts in my head that i can't bother penning them down.




sometimes i think friends expect to much. and then, they themselves commit the same 'mistakes'. and then, you are forever in the wrong.

i miss geraldyne. she wrote to me from australia. (:
sara parn and her played a big part in my growing years back in KC. where we argued and fought about stupid stuff.. grumbled about prefects stuff... covering each other duties... studying tgt... and so on. hah. the memories.



the thing about life..
ppl give u advices. sometimes, though they make it sound so good n in-ur-face, its not the right one for you. this hidden pressure sets in and then u get confuse.
i do have my fair share of probs in the past. ppl tell me to focus. ppl tell me what to do and what not. not that i'm being a rebellion, but seriously, how would u know what i'm feeling if u're not in my position or never even be in my position. then then.. they do the you-are-so-wrong speech making u feel that u've sinned big time.



for now, i'm glad that i've partically sucked in some of their advices but more often, not. it makes me look at a probably bigger picture. though not the ideal one for me, but probably another learning pt.


i believe in enjoying myself and being responsible about it. and of course, all glory goes to God if i do win anything as a bonus.



though i'm like hitting the big 2 of my age, i still feel that i'm in the struggling-to-grow-up-phase. in secondary sch and in my poly days, i thought i had control. as i grow older, ppl around me tend to be more.. hmmm. anal?


ah. whatever. as long as i'm responsible for my words and actions and accountable to God, i think i'm fine.

dreams and nightmares

last night. i had so many dream. and nightmares. i'm blogging at like 12.22pm now coz i want to like rmbr them. ahhas
in segments sia.

ok. first.. X-Men

i can't who i was.. but there an evil mystique. mystique can transform into eveybody but she has a black left eye and her face features still remain partially the same. ahhas. so to spot the difference between the real and fake one.. she her left eye. ahahas. it was funny la. then like.. she tried to kill all of us. can't rmbr the details but we're all in this white house.


second... HAHHA.
it was eveleen with jay and i and this very close friend of mine.
the whole dream is about finding a place to eat for dinner. hahahs. went through alot of old buildings.. huge big old cargo lifts... sandy terrains and run down cafes and so one. on this particular country old looking road, we saw mark (our cousin) eating a piece of meat chop that's on those brown paper. quite a cool country thing. the whole scene likes like in a brown tone. ahhahs. so we asked him... what meat is he eating. he said.. 'camel'. ahhas. i was like.. so if u bite it.. got water come out anot. ahas. ok.. lame.. but i rmbr tat joke.


it was wierd.
throughout the dream, i rmbr my 'brother' and i being very close. so close to a point that eveleen and jay started to suan us. looking back now, it's damn wierd. because in real life, we really like watch out for each other just like how siblings do.


anyways. 3rd segment. scary one.
i'm not sure if we did find a place to eat. but i wanted to go toliet. i ask eve to accompany me. it was a v v rundown place. the toliet looks more like a storeroom. since the place was so eerie, i asked her to come in with me. hahas. so after i did my business.... we walked out of the toliet.. then out side through the window, we saw this girl. small girl.. i can't rmbr what she was saying.. but soon enough.. i rmbr shouting "i rebuke you in the Name of Jesus". then.. more kids of about 7-12yrs old came to surrond ask. the whole scene was still like a brown-ish, negative hue colour.

the more i shout... i realised my voice couldn't come out. it was sort of like being suppressed. we tried to find our exit. each time we shouted that, the little zombified kids take a few steps back and pressed on again. ahhas. damn scary.
then it was to a point.. they no longer had any effect to wait i was saying... so eve and i tried to climb over this green fence while they tried to come for us.


hahas. just then....
my phone rang.


hahahas. i woke up.. stonned abit.. and it was the brother in the dream who called me on my hp. ahhas. i was like.. omg.. am i still in the dream or wake up alrdy. ahahhs. it rang until it became a miss call then i went back to sleep.



ahhhas. this is all so so wierd.

Ride of Silence

can't go for trng coz my neck still very restricted.

so i went for Ride of Silence.
we went 1hr late.. so we're like the last batch.

oh yea. b4 the event, saw ian! ahhas. the last time i saw him was when we went to pulau ubin like 8 yrs ago? hahahas. yea. should hang out soon. (:


they say to ride at 20km/h and below. and we're like averaging 23-24km/h. it was about a 20km route... from the merlion park to queensway.. holland v.. tanglin and back.
jo was with me again, like a big brother taking care of his sister. coz the route was dangerous! had to like cut 3-4 lanes in to make a right turn. then had to let the bus see us. it was like a roadie event la. ahhas. with our trail bikes.. it was hard work up those hills.


the leader pax was so darn fast and some of us were left behind due to the many traffic lights. they should have light sticks at the routes or major turning points la. hahas.


so after the whole event, we expressed our concern that the route was too dangerous for such a big grp of night cycling. ahhas. then the organiser said that that was the whole point of it. Ride of Silence is an event to commemorate the deaths of cyclists.. and cyclists who got injured and so on. so, this event is to HIGHLIGHT the dangers and create AWARENESS to both cyclists and CARS, BUSES and other road vehicles regarding road safety. ahhas.

so, with that.. we're like.. oic. hahas



after that. it was like 11pm alrdy. had dinner at the bugis wanton mee and went home. throughout the whole day, i clocked in 59.9km. hahas. i was tired at the queensway hill man. ahhas. my back gear couldn't change that efficiently so i almost cramped up at the hill. ahhas.

but overall, it was gd to cycle, and cycle with the gang once again.

graduation

w/o estee yvonne gabriel and jamin.
missed them ALOT.


so. congrats marian, finally graduating with a Diploma in Marketing.

to sum up..
stepped in to TP with much hatred for the sch as my heart was still with the Saints. after getting more involved in the sports scene and other activities, TP's really the choice.


thank u God.
and thank u Charmaine Leow Neung Hui who brought me to see Uncle Sam who made this journey possible.
u see, i'm always gg to places, differently. hahahs.



didn't take photos with many ppl also. everyone's like running around. hakim, dallas, ms suelou, dr Arnold tan and many other countless ppl who didn't go also.
if only all the touch girls' grad are on the same day, same time.



i mean like i dont see why ppl think that graduation is dumb.
come on. at the most, just dont invite ur parents. i didn't want my mum to come coz no point. i didn't grad with any special prize or what. so like nothing special. it'll be more shiok for her to see me getting a degree.






i cooked dinner today. felt gd.



the golden mushroom is damn nice. ahhahs. so happy. ahhas. then the mao bo toufu. ahahhas. ok la. it's actually LKK sachet sauce. ahaas. i scrambled eggs into it. ahhas. the nice dou miao and portabello mushrooms.

pro anot. ahhahas.

angels and demons

watched that today.
so i missed the steamboat.
quite a choice.

but i had my fun.
nice movie, but unpredictably predictable.




had physio this morng.
seriously the most purposely-inflicted pain ever.
the rubbed the neck, shoulder and lower part of the back of the head and i was really really in pain.
after much squeals and squirms... it improved a little but not as much as expected.
i'm expected to go back again.. but i dont think i can. no more $ alrdy ok. with one session, i can buy a pair of good pedals or stem for my bike.



ok. bernice told me abt this photo comp, and i'm so going to chiong for it. got feeling man. i am soooooo gg to send BENJAMIN's photo in! (((:







anyway. with the free time, i had time to think
to think abt things. abt life.

i used to be 'better'.
when i was younger, i had more practical goals. 'better' and more sensible goals. i rmbr i wanted to have a blog to share my interesting life with the world. to share the experiences that i've learnt or encountered so that ppl can learn from my blog and know that they are not in any shit alone.

as i grow up,
i realised, this place becomes more of an outlet to rant. drifting away from its original purpose. sometimes, i blog pictures to really share my colourful life with ppl. now that my blog is quite dull, it may have just unknowing portray dullness in a colourful world.

as of now, i lack God. i lack the WWJD reaction.




u know like in the tough times its either u make it or break it?
its really up to oneself. what kind of outcome the person really want.
then again, sometimes u want it, and u just let other emotions make u dont-want-it.



i'm blabbing again.

its like 4.22am now and my stomach feels queasy. feel like vommiting. ahhas.
wierd.
tmr's grad. supposed to be slping now. tmr i'll look really wierd on stage, with my head to stiffly drilled to my body.

wedding

help ken to shoot his wedding with dickson.



ahhas. quite cool. i found a new talent. i can arrange flowers. hahas. i arranged it for his wife man.






all in all.. it was in hort park. i thank God for dickson. w/o him and his 24-70 f/2.8... i think i'll die. it's kinda like my first 'unofficial' wedding shoot. damn scared. but lucky got dickson. i hope to do more in the future!



ok. abt the neck.
this morng... i woke up.. stiff. couldn't move. i realised that i did not move the whole night. so in the morng, i tried to flip myself. i shouted in pain man. ahhas. i expected it.. but didn't expected it to be that pain.
then i realised my shoulders are aching alrdy.

now, my arms are starting to ache.
i think its quite a massive blow to the head and back to the neck and to the arms. i think its more of the nerve rather than the muscles that are injured.


thus, today's shoot was quite tiring for me.
in the hot sun, heavy bag and helping them to carry like a whole electric flask of team through hort park, i felt that it was some form of punishment. hahahs. but yea, i still did have fun.



after that... church guys got soccer.. i think cannot make it physically.. i needed to rest. ahhas. so i took like a 1hr long bus ride home. nice comfy cozy airconditioned double deck bus. slept till the last stop which is my home.
went NTUC to do some grocery shopping...

came home.. and nua on the sofa.
and ache all over again.


TMR,... MEETING PHYSIO. i think i'm gg to get killed tmr. hahha.

sprained my neck

tmd.
went trail today and felt flat front on down slope.
i seriously got phoebia of slopes now.
abrasions on the arm.. but after that... got headache...
didn't enjoy the whole time of it coz the pain spread to the back of my neck.
i guess coz i hit the front side of my head so the shock traveled to the back and my left arm.

but i really enjoyed the company. ahhahs. nice to ride with the gang again. oh yea. did i mentioned.. remy ong joined us. HAHAH. nic's friend. so he was riding with us for a while to L&T. quite wierd..coz i always see him as a national bowler. hahahs. but was nice to see him on a strada. ahhahs.


saw alexandre and the YOG team training today. they looked young.
and very inspiring..

came home.. supposed to go out for dinner or join some of them to shoot.. but my neck was irritating me. so i'm like icing the neck at home. now i can't like move my neck forward w/o pain. basket.


but. gd thing.. after trail.. lunched then went to sch. finally could preload. but can't lift the back off to complete the hook. ):




on my way to trail today, saw the aftermath of a motorbike accident. it was at a cross junction. i guess it was a hit and run. coz there's no car around. or probably he just fell on his own. the whole bike was a wreck. the wheels looked out of position and the whole front was out. the biker was on the ground in pain while the police directed the traffice and the medic tend to him.

i was like.. ok.
is that another sign?



hahas
maybe i'm being paranoid.
but really, i just feel that i need to spend more time with my friends. haha.




times like this, i really want to be a boy.
like have all the guts to zoom down slopes. and even if i fall, won't be so injured.
haizzzz.



i just found out.. my head and nose and chin got scratch!! nooooooooo.
hope it disappear soon.

prac 5

10 demerit points!
with 3 IMMEDIATE FAILURE. ahhahs.

more imptly, i improved. the immediate failures are just unlucky. hahas. all at the crank course. b4 entering and exiting.
i caused my pilion to fall again. b4 turning out to circuit. fell onto the curb man.
lesson are always interesting. i keep seeing pri sch friends, old friends, new friends. AHHAH. funny lor. saw vic today. and irvin taking his 2A. saw janice the other day. saw the pri sch mates... a few poly mates. made friends with uncles as well. then all the instructors know me coz i of my many accidents and spiderman socks. they saw it long time ago while i was putting on the knee guards. hahas.

oh. today, the actor from the iNotStupid took lesson with me. if i rmbr correctly, joshua ang... the one who acted as the pai kia. yea. hahahs.


i love lessons man.



anyways.



l4d today max. 4 hrs. mad.
spent $ on lan gaming. sucks la.
its fun. but after that, mind draining. hahhaha.
'COVER ME'... REELLLOOADDDINNG!.
tmd. tiring sia.





u see, u see ah.
we called you. and whatever the reasons, u did not come.
so dont say we didn't again ar.
serious.
just to let you know that ppl do try.





i feel i'm growing old.
and.
i feel that the End of the world is near. serious.
its like.. whenever there's thunder or dark skies, my mind always switches on to some kind of an emergency mode. its just a feeling that i do not have much time left.

preload.

a blog without photos is like a life without colours.





anyways. gd to ride today with jo. though we had the very sian feeling, we somehow manage to enjoy ourselves as we met this other biker at the trail.. he's like 15. and very very experienced. talk bicycle talk and attempted a few moves. finally could do the preload but not the back end to finish it.
i like the way ppl make friends with total complete strangers because of a common interest. like so long u have a bike with like parts that are kinda tells what kind of a rider you are, there's already a topic to talk abt alrdy. just like photography. hold a big black SLR n we'll be chatting whole day long. (:



great to have spend time with the photogs again. everyone busily updating our lives and flooding ourselves with name cards and exciting work experience. i like.
it's still darn amazing how we still enjoy each others' company though it only took like less than 2 wks to get to know each other 2 yrs back. (:
happy bday serena!
and thank you meisy for like arranging and msging all these.



then.
timbre with the gang. (:
good fellas are tooooo good. the bassist is power. everyone is like.. whoas. makes me feel so far fetched. hahas. come on homie, give us 10 yrs. hahas.

blog

so what, i'm suppose to not blog about stuff that ppl dont want me to?
then, what's this place for anyway.


have u asked urself why?
why similar things like that always happen.
i have no clue.
but u just have to find ur own answers.





girls. tsk.
never would understand them.
even if i do, i'd choose not to.





anyways, good to be back in trng. at sp though. my back still hurts alittle. think got to go back again probably this fri?




AHHAHHAA. WATCH THIS PLS. http://www.clicknetwork.tv/watch.aspx?c=1&p=8&v=196 xiaxue's experience with the science centre. pls watch. she's super super darn funny. i actually laughed out loud alone in my room man.

ahhahas. just watch all her videos. ahhahss. she's super funny.

L4D

played that today.


anyway.


1 immediate failure (nv give way to traffic) - car's fault. suddenly move from stop.
20 demerit points.
1 surviving pilion. hahas.

the thin folded letter

yea yea. it speaks about tough competition and how they regret to inform me that my application to NTU is unsuccessful. ahhas. irony. knowing that one will regret, one still commits that action. hah.

i am going to APPEAL.
if not, hello SIM. ):


i watched Wolverine for the 3rd time today.
accompanied my friends. but i still marvel at MARVEL movies. just like Spiderman.
i think they should have like an X-men origins on Deadpool. but i doubt so since he's quite a villiant.





sometimes i wonder if my actions are so called 'wrong'. what defines 'wrong'.
it seems that i've lost my sense of judgment. not judgment made upon people, but to be able to judge if path A or B is the more appropriate one.

sometimes i'm confident about it until some jack or jill comes running around making me feel like a great sinner. i mean ya dah ya dah we're all sinners. let's not be anal for now pls.


as i grow up, sometimes i feel that i was more mature in my secondary sch days, being able to give good calls, plan good events and just know how to react when situation arises. now, it seems that i'm hesitant. i go with great doubt.



i need God more.
i need Him to be the judgment of my calls.

the 45mins walk

watched this for cell lunch today






i've been thinking and thinking.
is it how ironic ppl say that u are judging others but they themselves are judging by saying so.




if now, going to a place that i love so much is so difficult,
i could just cut it. stop.

w/o the friends, i'd just stop long ago.
and they still dont get it.


well..
stop struggling when's no one's going to appreciate and discriminate our gd intentions.

a Job VS a Ministry

i got this email from someone... and i think this is really a good message.
especially to all the church technically-called leaders as well as those who secretly serve in their own ways...





Some people have a job in the church, others involve themselves in ministry.




What’s the difference?





If you are doing in just because no one else will, it’s a job.

If you are doing it to serve the Lord, it’s a ministry.



If you quit because somebody criticized you, it’s a job.

If you keep on serving, it’s a ministry.



If you’ll do it only as long as it dose not interfere with your other activities, it’s a job.

If you are committed to staying with it

even when it means letting go of other things, it’s a ministry.



If you quit because no one praised you or thanked you, it was a job.

If you stay with it, even though nobody recognizes you efforts, it’s a ministry.



It’s hard to get excited about a job.

It’s impossible not to be excited about a ministry.



If our concern in success, it’s a job.

If you concern is faithfulness, it’s a ministry.





An average church filled with people doing jobs.

A great and growing church is filled people doing ministry.



What about us ? Where do we fit in?





If God calls you to a ministry, don’t treat it like a job.

stormy nights

i'm usually a heavy sleeper. meaning, even if there's a fire in the house or like typhoon outside, i'd still be sleeping.

but last night, was whoas.
i was over at eve's place.
then at around 4am.. there's this LOUD THUNDER CLASP.
it was indeed like God trying to rip the sky apart.
the first one woke me up. immediate reaction- is e End like right now?
then, i prayed for God to take me away now if its the time. i pray for forgiveness of my sins and for my family & friends and even for my sis. all these while, i was more or less semi conscious and perhaps thinking while sleeping.

then again, another loud ROAR.
i'm usually the its-thunder-only-what person.
basket, i damn scared la. hahhahas.
eve was also awaken by it.. we're like.. omg.. damn scary. sleep sleep!
hahas. then i snugged back under the covers and prayed till i slp, hearing the loud splashes of big rain drops hitting the window panes as served by the pounding wind.




so yea.
i was scared.



so anyway. this morng, church had this bowling event.
it's quite timely.. coz with my back injury, i'm out for any touch games but still alright for bowling. so i went.
hahas. teammates- aunty violet leong, aunty chris and aunty siew. i lao hong. 1st game still not so bad.. 190.. 2nd and 3rd was like 148-ish. bah. the scoring system also got some faults. then the counter staff was super rude to me... its like.. u know how the counter staff treats bowlers and non-bowlers differently. and obviously, he didn't think that i'm a bowler. heck it.


so yea, i managed to get the top female and overall champ. ahhas. sounds great right. claps. (*coughs with a 481 pinfall of 3 games?!). HAHHA. but yea, i found out that ryan and celeste are training in this sport too! along with some other folks.


i like this kind of family outings.
chuchy familyish outings.
we seriously lack that.



rmbr family days? where the church go west coast park or like help raise funds.. now that we are so called 'satisfied' with all the building facilites, we stop all these. BAH.

sorts

i'm still trying to sort out my photos.

u know.
i dont feel like blogging all these days.


ok. i failed prac 5 today.
1 immediate failure - nv on head light.
ahas. and....




44 DEMERIT POINTS. whoots.



oh yea. pillion riding. first time.
thank God that there was a girl during lesson today.
we pillion each other. HHAHA.
then then.. when it was my turn, i made her fell down man..
coz at the traffic light, i was too concentrated on turning left. then it was red light.. she told me... EH RED LIGHT. then i just brake the bike. then we fell on the right side. hahas. so funny. other bikers behind saw.
then we helped to push back up the bike.


so scary can.
with a pillion, u can feel the weight of the person behind man. move abit, the iek moves alot. ahhas. what an experience.

17 again

finally watched that.
love the storyline and for the record, zac efron blows away the girls in the cinema.
ahahhas. i watched it with jasmine. and the part where he got out of his hot hot car, the girls in the cinema squeeallled. hahahs. whoas.
and it was like a 1.30pm movie with relatively little ppl.



HAH.


dont like egoistic guys who REFUSE to watch such movies.
it really isn't like a bimbo movie or what, but its just nice to watch.



then.

b4 that,
i finally went for physio for my back.
she said that it was a cumulative injury for 2yrs (since the hard fall i had while alighting the bus).
she tried to rub my lower back... she was surprised that i could still keep playing from that fall... usually, when she rubs a back, she's able to press in quite deep.. as for mine.. it was so hard that she could rub in. hahas.

more like stiff.
and she said she only applied 20% of her strength and i was like alrdy dying.
honestly, it was v v painful.

she rubbed all the right spots man. i literally gripped the bed hard and almost kicked her. she induced some current for like 15mins to losen the muscle. she also used some ultrasound thing to losen it.



so.. today...
tmd. PAIN MAN.
i went for trng but didn't train.
i think i got to go back again next week to rub one more time. still feel v v sore and like.. out-of-gas feeling.


thus,
i really learnt my lesson.
when u're injured, GO SEE A DOC / GET HELP. do something about it.
really, dont wait until u reach ur threshold then do something.
sometimes frequently, as sports ppl, when we get little aches here and there.. we'll just nudge it away saying "aiya.. abit only.. just for this game...". and w/p knowing, its everywk we say that.
and TA-DAH. 2 yrs passed. u reached ur threshold. that's when u know that its time to learn ur lesson and dont be so stubborn.





anyway.
u realised, i haven't been posting photos. i'm lazy and still procrastinating.
i completed my SIM application alrdy though. hope they reject me.
and, NTU haven't got back to me.

fast and furious

watched that today.
ok luh. quite cool.



i unwillingly applied for SIM today. last date of application.
and i cut my hair.
and i went to see uncle kok chi.
and finally, i have medicine for my ongoing diarrhea that i've been having for 3 wks.


tmr, seeing physio alrdy.
my back is aching.

Induction Svc

i shoot.
i fell.

and everyone saw.


and...
caught on video.
BOOOOOOOM.



i am historical.





(:



long road ahead for COA.

i feel miserable

i pulled my back while.. REFREEING.
how hard can that get.


was looking forward to my one and only mix game today. but i couldn't.
sad ok.
its like.. u see them play.. and u just want to get involove in it but u can't.


its sore now.
and i think i need to seek help soon.





feeling all sian.
its like.. w/o ur back.. i literally can't be marian.


but i'd like to thank God for my helpful teammates.
i hope to play the next game.
i'll be back real soon.

staying

been staying over at friend's place to watch soccer/ supper and so on.
so.
this is what i do when my mum's helping my aunty with her one month of confinement.



tired.
been eating, alot.


ytd, had marli's bday celebration. (: gd to spend time with the girls.
so fast, 4th yr alrdy.



watched Wolverine today.
EXCELLENT.
i like.
i like Marvel. can compete with Spiderman man. ahas. the whole plot of X-men is just creative and witty.
i want to watch all other X-men movies man. haven't watched them yet.


supposed to be a girls outing, but there were others ppl who didn't really make the citeria.
but, i had a reasonably gd amt of fun. glad that aunty vivien, su su and daphne was there. (:


i dont like ppl who claim to dont have money to do the stuff that they are suppose to do/go but are able to spend not-so-compulsory things/holidays.
make sense make sense? hahas.
there's ppl (like the one typing all this now) that needs the money maaannns. hahahs.



so.
this morning was the cremation.
the bus left Sg Casket for Mandai.
throughout the whole process it was just heart wrenching and mind clinging for me.
looking back, from the time my dad's flight took off to the moment of his cremation, i realised that i dont rmbr a thing visually.



the exact thing which took place- i (to my surprise) don't rmbr.
so, looking at the whole procession today, it felt like dejavu and like as if the person in the coffin was my dad.
3 pts that ignited flash backs were the time when pushing the vehicle out of Sg casket, paying the last and final respects, and lastly, the whole cremation process.
for sure,i do rmbr the moment where 3 (or 4) black-bodied abled and sweaty man pushing my dad into the flames. yes, like flames literally. this time, its not so bad.. the new crematorium had like conveyor belt systems to escort the coffin to another place to be incenerated.



so, it left me thinking for quite awhile.
it seemed that during those darkest days, i tend to block out the truth. the facts that's taking place. so now when like the exact same scenario plays back right infront of my eyes, it seemed that that part of the brain tries to unlock all those blocked images from the past.
then ur emotions and feelings get involved.
then the whole cycle repeats.
u act strong, want to be strong. then walk behind, someone asks u if u're ok, u start crying.

hahas. basket.





when will i ever learn to like.. let go of things fully?