bubbles

ok. idk why i named this post bubbles.

anyway. i had a good day at work today coz jy was with me till our 2nd last flight! hahas. (:
she's like my working girlfriend. hear all my complains and stuff. hahas. really thank God for her. w/o her, life in this job would not be as smooth.


and today, i got praised by a passenger! damn happy can. it really really made my day. SINGAPOREAN somemore. coz i usually greet the pax when i'm on duty. so while he was like collecting his bag, the normal "hi, good morning sir" (though it wasn't the normal SOP as to say 'gd mrng sir, welcome to changi. hahas. srsly, NO ONE says that.) yea. then anyway, he replied "hey yea, its very nice to hear you greeting us passengers you know. thank you, i appreciate that". smth like that la. and i tell u, from that moment, i am DETERMINED to greet every pax, no matter how chao is their bin or my bin is. ok, for those non-hokkien speaking, bin is face for hokkien. ahhas.

yea. so everything so smooth. no common gate. no reasonably unreasonable customers. except that i struggle to reply a kind "hi, how are u doing?" from an ang-moh. u know for them its not really like a qns but a greeting right. but i haven't got adjusted to say something decent like "i'm fine, thank you". i feel damn singaporean... and paiseh. so usually i'd brush it off by saying smth like "ur baggage sir/ ur boarding pass sir/.. " something to discontinue it. ahas.


ok anyway. that's sucha boring post right.

been looking at several sg's traffic accident. and mostly involving motorbikes or cars beating red lights on to only crash into the another vehicle traveling in an adjacent direction. haiz.

over all this course of work and riding, i've really learnt something "dont assume. dont be too confident". ahhahas



i wonder what are you doing now.


suddenly, i had an idea.
i finally realize suspect y i stopped gg church. not mainly. but partially. it was to partially to stop seeing u for a while. but i then realized it became a 2 yr drought for my christian walk. hahas. now that i'm trying to go back church more regularly, i see that u're there too on sundays with ur mum. yea. and it doesn't help that i'm starting to see u more on the fields/ during trng or smth. really. i rmbr when u're in hiatus, probably for ur A levels, i dont rmbr seeing u at all for at least 6 months.

and with all that trying to forget u, it was really really a big improvement. and when i finally thought that i have finally let you go mentally, of all places, i had to bump into u in genting. hahas.
that one bump caused a tremor in my heart that lasted at least for a whole night, till the next morng. that every where i went around in genting with my friends, i was damn cautious, protecting myself from any unexpected sight. ahhas



ok whatever.
went to tamp gym. and then to the pool.
really a good work out and i'm very shagged. hahas.

wedds

just to share a photo taken last year.
some how when i flip through old shots, shots that didn't speak to me then, speak to me now.

loosing my identity

hi. meet my first handbag. $15 :/

and Mother Poon spent $52.26 on me for eyeshadower, dunowhat powder and lipgloss. And she's happy abt it.  that's like 2 months worth of petrol money.

and ytd, $42 on high heels.

and last wk. $206 on 2 atas dresses.

i really thank God that i'm not into all these fashion/makeup and all. the $$ saved can be spent in buying nice versatile bagpack and stuff. alother, its easily $300. its like a yr's worth of petrol money?!

ok. the sudden outburst of all these of such buying is due to SAMANTHA'S wedding. hahas

i'm part of the sisters. and heels, dresses, makeup is all mandatory. ahhas.

i think its good to look good once a while. but i prefer to be comfortable. u know with all the makeup/ eyeliner and all, u can't rub ur eyes. u can't perspire. and riding a bike is gg to be gross. with all the wind, sweat, dust... ewwhs. idk how those malay girls ride those nice vespas, with a nice skirt and still look so awesomely good with their make up. really skill k. baik siol. ahhas.

and i still believe that if i'm comfortable with who i am, i would be a happy person. all the makeup, dresses and all is just... ok nvm.

abt identity.

1 wk of work has changed me slightly. i become more tolerant, patient and polite. Because of a habit from my job, when I make eye contact with ppl, I'll involuntarily give the hello-welcome/nice-to-see-u smile. i mean its a good change luh.

but really, its all just a facade. likka show.

we put up a friendly performance to make everything a happier and better place. but inside, hahas, we're all cursing abt the low pay, long hours and tired legs. ahahas.

that's all about customer service huh. gg the extra mile.

go. i'd better go catch some beauty slp and recharge my batt for the wk.

oh yes.before that, can i shout out smth.

I'M STILL DAMN FRUSTRATED.

i thought after like 2 wks, and the whole hk thing, i'd be more immune to sitting out for trng right. but hell no. i'm still very angsty abt it. it sucks to know that everyone is trng, getting more game time and experience, and getting physically stronger, fitter, faster and better, while here i am, still awaiting for my 1st physio appt on 7th june.

SUCKS BIG TIME. 

arghhhhh.

and just to add on to e ending of a sportspoon post, i wannt say that i wish to have at least caught a glimpse of u today. i thought i'd see u in church or trng at least today. but no. and idk why i feel upset 'incomplete' w/o seeing u today. really. it sucks to know that i'm still having all these feelings that are super uncalled for. 

pray for me. i really want to solve this whole idk-what-problem inside me. 

40hrs

finally a wk of work.
tue-fri.


really physically challenging. hahas.
had to wear skins to slp for recovery sia. macham like some big game next day.


many funny incidences.
one is when I asked the passenger for his number card (to collect bag).. he chuckled and wanted to give me his name card. "Sir, the number card. Not ur number, sir" and we both laughed. Hahahahs

finally official

did 4 flights today.
leggs are soo tired.
with 0 trng since 19 april and with The Knee, just standing/walking for a few hours makes my whole body feels damn shagged now.


i think i'm in my pms zone now. Poon Marian Syndrome.
ahas. no la. as in literally, its always this time of the month when i'm moody poony and emo for no reason.


day one of officially carrying out duties.
so much i wanna change.
so much i wanna deliver.
so much i wanna communicated to the dua taos up there.
what/how are they thinking?!

rehab.

sometimes, when u get hurt by people, forget it. really.
they dont deserve much of ur efforts and thoughts to try and salvage anything.

leave the tree. find that forest.



something i got from the web to help with my rehab.

every cloud there's a silver lining

taken with my itouch + instagrammed. 

finally got my MRI results last Thurs.

):

MCL grade 2/3 tear.

ACL 15% buang.

):

didn't know about the ACL. ahhas. 

and to think that i was damn hopeful for it to be a major sprain or at most, a grade 1 tear. hahas

tmd. grade 3?! sure anot.

the doc say MCL got 3 layers of MCL. the first one totally gone. 2nd one has been torn and left abit. 3rd one still intact.

ok la. thank God.

all on the verge of op.

one thing good abt gg for op is that it'll be stronger. but, it'll be 8 months out. i can say bye bye to this yr's recital. leaving it as it is would mean scar tissues and hardcore strengthening, physio-ing for the next 4 slow months.

i believe i would have the patience to do it la.

lets go!. 

coz every cloud there's a sliver lining.

yea. and on that day, i enrolled for Air Transport Training College's SAME specialist Diploma course.

and today, i got inspired to start exploring the Marketing scene again. maybe not the FMCG that scared me and change my life, but maybe on the physio side.

just saying.

support Daniel's music

Primary school mate. 

jammed with him once.

inspired by him many.

click here

on Tow

first time sparky on tow.

something wrong with the clutch mechanics. its been like that for days alrdy. i ignored the tell tale signs, hoping for it to press on for another day.


so after i exit ecp rochor exit, i wanted to go straight, up the hill. but i just felt amiss and unsafe. so i took an immediate left turn, a slip road to suntec. heing ka la sai. that's when my clutch totally broke off inside. totally couldn't engage the gear and the engine was as good as useless.

so called planet motors.
on tow.

hahas. hopefullly the TP gets it.
had to make my SIRD card before the office close at 12. so i grabbed lunch and cabbed down to waterloo, leaving Sparky all alone for the tow truck to come.



whole day, bus in and bus out. totally erks. so much time wasted.

new tyres!
Pirelli.

ahhas. and the famous uncle chong.
if ur bike's with him, they in good hands. (: hahahas. he's damn power. and he's damn nice.
he waited till i went down to collect my bike before he lock up. 9pm + ?!
(:
thank God.

not a great day.

but its all up to me to decide how i felt about it.

hahas. HK post up soon! (:

HK Intercities 2012

once again, awesome tournament. 12th may.

we got the title for both the Mixed and Men's category.

still ): that i wasn't able to play coz of the knee. but glad that i'm at least able to help out as a Team Manager. hahaas. but really, the level of play has increased, alongside with the level of referees. (:

and of course, court session was not spared.

great amt of alcohol and ridiculous fines. 

and priceless time of fellowship.

and of course, some of us are missing last yr's.

roomies for the Trip. at HoppInn.

awesome place. free (and relatively strong) wifi. comfortable and all, with double deck beds, multipurpose hall and all. and i think its abt SGD $30 per night like that. (:

hahas. and of course, the annual clubbing. coz baby you're a fireworks...

for Sunday afternoon, left us and a few more others to conquer HK.

and how can i not post this up.

and the last day, gg back. 

bye!

to HK for HK Inter-cities Touch Tournament and back on MON!

take a chance. dont regret.

i had 3 dinner choices today.
political vs friendship vs obedience.



literally.
i chose friendship.





period.









sometimes most of the time, i talk to this space coz i feel that i dont have anyone to talk to. its more like, i duno how to convey my thoughts out to anyone else (except you). blogging helps me to slow my neurons down to manageable, absorbable, comprehendible pace.




sometimes its quite scary how tumblr flashes u and image that totally amplifies ur thoughts and sets its perimeters to give u a gotcha-there feeling.

been thinking about this....
and even more clearly today. and really, my mind was all about this when this image came out. after clicking onto blogger (wanting to blog about it like now), i clicked on tumblr... scrolled down.. and saw this image. hahas.


its not just about telling that i love u or what, coz honestly, i dont really know. but i just wanna pick things up from where we left off 5 yrs ago. i'm not looking at any progression or what. i just dont want to lose such a great friend and brother in my life.
ok. enough of the explaination. i think i've done enough throughout the years here.




i guess coz apart from the fact that i still undeniably miss you, it adds on to me when my friend's bf passed away. yea. referring that that recent NS.F case in april.
i see her tweets.
it just gives me feel the 'aw-man' feeling.
its like, we will really only feel the deep essence of regret when we're being thrusted upon it.  learning to sincerely treasure that same level of essence (before something/someone is gone) is probably a skill or takes highly-skilled empathic heart.
honestly, i dont think anyone on this earth is able to achieve the skill of appreciation at that level. perhaps a 105 great grandma would.



now that u're still alive and well, shouldn't i just take that leap of faith with huge spoonful of courage to....
write another letter to you. hahahs
what if again, i dont get a response. or rather a response that reflect that i've not done anything at all which would just take the whole thing onto a new desperate level.


i need help.

meet me friend

sometimes, i dont like myself.


been thinking, what if i knew me.
will i be a friend to myself?



hahas.the one big change for me after you've left is now, having that ability to relate very well to emo tweets or tumblr posts regarding relationships.
hahas. i think if i have never been in a relationship, i rlly wouldn't know.




ugh. emo.
idk if 'hate' is the word to describe the whole emo thing now.
everything's been so inhabited, so diluted, that it doesn't really become something to be evaluated upon.



In another life
I would make you stay
So I don't have to say
You were the one that got away
the one that got away





but i guess in this life, SUCK IT UP YOW. hahas
rlly. on the verge of going back to the nites where i spent writing 3-4 pages-long notes.
ideally and supposedly to be handed in to you with much non-existent courage and bravery. hahas. and they'll end up either in the bin or in this small metal tin locker box. (its those mental tins with locks, when we're in pri sch, we would think that it's the SAFEST box in the WORLD to put anything and everything inside. and we're hide the key super well.)





i need a cure.
likka remedy or some sort.




been so tired.
can feel myself physically wearing out (from idk what, since i'm not even trng)
but i can't sleep.
and that's bad.
coz i love to sleep.
and sleep is always too good.






how apt.
from the cover page of my $4.50 notebook for the C academy.

sun-ed-day

a recovering Rugger vs wedding preps

met up with sam and the girls. prepping for her wedding/ gatecrashing and all.
quite excited. coz both the bride and groom are my long time friends.
and for the groom's side, all zeng-ed up cars. and i'm supposed to be the escort/TP (with a pink dress+ white jacket on a bike) or some sort. hahas. i'm excited abt the bike part, but not the dress part.


i'll leave the details to the posting of fun photos after june! ahhas


yea. all of us, same age.
there she is, planning her wedding, her house, her finance.
and her i am, trying to heal my MCL, worrying about trngs/season, and school fees; and whether i should be getting a boyfriend or not.


hahas.
maybe i really should just grow up.
and stop giving the 'living out my youth' excuse.
i really dont use it as an excuse, but it relation, hahas, it seems like so.

how to be brave

how can i love when i'm afraid to fall

feelin'
quite emo tonight.

dreamt of u last night.
and because it was such a pleasant dream, in reality, it's a nightmare.



and awesome songs from YouTube peeps are on my repeat list tonight:
- A Thousand Years (Christina Perri) / Twenty-Four (Switchfoot) Cover by Tanner Patrick
- Safe and Sound (Taylor Swift) Cover by Tiffany Alvord & Megan Nicole
- The One That Got Away (Katy Perry) Cover by Tiffany Alvord and Chester See

they're getting better than the original.
discovered these 3 vids just tonight. and all 'em seem to be in unison, quietly banging against the string of my heart.

u're up in Jarkata, playing ur 10s for the club.

as for me, (-)the whole MCL saga, i would be playing my league tmr as well. hahas

STL Mixed Division: Monsoon Avengers vs Super Heros. 

no joke. that are the club's name.

see! i'm not making it up. ahaas

yep.

i really dont know why i'm feeling so.... so.. want-to-be-by-ur-side these few days.

or rather actually, want u to be by my side. hahas

ugh.

hate all these girly thingy creeping up on me.

i needa start to learn to live a life without you all over again. we met in 2001 maybe? if i could do it for 12 yrs w/o you. and i dont see y for the past 11 yrs, i can't. 

speaking of which.. WAH. its been half a life-time that we've met. 

jhang jhangjhang.

shoppingz

i've nv planned a day out to shop. not in the last 1 yr i at least.

its either like, after/before league/trng/work, got out dinner then shop or smth. nv really have a day planned for it.

unnecessarily bought a bag. hahas.

planned to shop and watch movie with ulrica. hahas. 

watched Avengers. hahas. Iron Man and Hulk was the comedic part of the plot.

quite chillax ah. hahas. 

yea. and i need $$$.

brutal honesty

today, we finally passed the test. the test right, nv felt so confident for a test before. likka confirm FULL marks kind. i mean like, the trainer has already given us the answers. even if we didn't fully understand the rationale, we rmbred the answers.


practical was too easy peasy. haas
oral was like. huh. felt so sad when she asked me the simplest qns.

no. i'm not egoistic / arrogant or think i'm Miss know-it-all. but really.
what was tested today dont justify the amount of hours and effort spent trng.
but ok, just saying. happy to get over and done with the formalities.



went back to the academy to do some dispatching. hahas.
then bumped into some old friends!



and rain seem to be hot (not exactly the word) in my pursuit for the rest of the evening. raining at places when i'm on my bike.


ahhas. actually i wanna be brutally honest about somethings here.
but, i guess not! hahas
and i miss you today.

securing your world

indeed.

and i cant believe like at this time, i'm still wide awake and damn motivated to come up with a brillant plan to improve the company in so many aspects.

i just that it needs a big booast somewhere to go far.