my internet's connect's like snail now. it takes like 2 mins to load one normal fb page. totally give up.
damn bored.
go macs. study.
and home.
today i studied ok. but nothing's really gg in. its only like 2days b4 exams u're damn on abt it.
haiz.
wanted to go out. damn tempted to jio ppl out for icecream. but NO. i decided to go HOME and play com and slp. awesome.
Friday, April 30, 2010
hi blogger
i feel very identity crisis-ish today.
there's so much things to say.
but i think i'd be contradicting myself anyway.
and.
dun want to be emotionally weak like that.
stop it.
there's so much things to say.
but i think i'd be contradicting myself anyway.
and.
dun want to be emotionally weak like that.
stop it.
Thursday, April 29, 2010
zhammmed
hmm.
the studying part of the day sucked.
i took like 3 hrs to finish one chapt.
i think ytd's paper left me too emo-ed.
anyways.
trng today was friendly with the development sajc rugby boys.
they were new, and all out to zham us showing no form of mercy or gender discrimination which was gd- to a certain extent.
i think we did well because we're more urgent and all.
i rmbring kenna zhammed twice today by surprise. first one when i was abt to score... the guy was fast and b4 i could get a good hold of the ball, he came from behind and tackled me dammn hard that it became a knock on.
tmd.
then. the second one was same situation, but i was too near the side line.
the guy could have just pushed me out but no. he happily came and shocked me from behing by zhamming me damn hard and i rmbr another guy coming in to help him or smth.
i mean like seriouslly. look at my size, relatively, how much strength do u need to take me out?!
but really thank God that i fell well thanks to the trngs.
i rmbr during my first few games of full contact rugby in my life, i went in w/o trng. like seriously. so i fell on my head very hard several times that caused me bad headaches at night.
so considering today, it was gd. (:
but on my perf wise, i think was bad. the sideline thing one, i could just step in. actually, i knew that i wanted to do it, but my reaction damn slow. it's still not in me to go in and protect. need to train more.
then got one. omg. he broke through.
then i saw my player gg for the guy. she's damn gd one.. but she missed coz i think the guy was running too straightly and fast.
i was really in a gd position to tackle him. just one step and i could have hit him. in fact, i didn't even have to stretch out my hand fully to have made contact.
but i was hestitating. duno if i should go in to help ... duno if i could bring him down and all the shit.
and when i've finally decided to go for him because i saw that my player missed him, by then, he ran passed me. (thanks hesitation.)
then i chased and i was damn near. like one arms length kind. but i really didn't know how to go abt tackling him at that speed and distance.
i mean.
i'm not sad la. just like.. yet another repeated lesson to learn.
its quite sad that the same things keep happening and i dont learn and process as fast as i can.
anyway. the game ended when wing and leelian was on the ground.
quite sad. they both hit each other hard by accident i think. leelian had a hard hit on her head while wing's nose was bleeding.
then wing was sent to the hospital coz i think it didn't look right.
just got news that she broke her nose into multiple bits.
like omg. damn scarrryyy. :(
i think need op to bring the pieces back.
damn worried for her pls. praying for her man. hope she recovers well!!!!
had a gd dinner because we're all talking nonsense as usual.
(:
came home.
and dont feel like studying.
i mean like. even if i try, it wont be productive. so, i'm gg to change my game plan.
slp early, tmr go mac early to study hard.
if i study hard and well, i'll reward myself by going to tp trng.
for fri's study reward, if i study well, it'll be gg for sun's trng. set, marian?
ok.
BRING IT ON.
my back's hurting very randomly now.
anyway.
last night i dreamt of u.
like commm'on marian. let it gooooooooooooooooooo. its hard when things around keep reminding u of him. it doesn't help when u know that he could have been in the same team as u now because he was once a player of this club.
but to be sure and do some self check, i'm proud to say that reasons for joining blacks has got nothing to do with him. (:
yea. and today's game with sajc.
my coach, who has been ur lifetime coach.
ur teammates whom i see at trngs.
like look. what are the possibilities of seeing u. but oh wells. its also gd that u're not that involved now anyway. not being sour grapes but seriously, w/o u around, i think i can be more focused in what i'm doing. ;p
work harder sportspoon. come on. believe that u can do it pls.
the studying part of the day sucked.
i took like 3 hrs to finish one chapt.
i think ytd's paper left me too emo-ed.
anyways.
trng today was friendly with the development sajc rugby boys.
they were new, and all out to zham us showing no form of mercy or gender discrimination which was gd- to a certain extent.
i think we did well because we're more urgent and all.
i rmbring kenna zhammed twice today by surprise. first one when i was abt to score... the guy was fast and b4 i could get a good hold of the ball, he came from behind and tackled me dammn hard that it became a knock on.
tmd.
then. the second one was same situation, but i was too near the side line.
the guy could have just pushed me out but no. he happily came and shocked me from behing by zhamming me damn hard and i rmbr another guy coming in to help him or smth.
i mean like seriouslly. look at my size, relatively, how much strength do u need to take me out?!
but really thank God that i fell well thanks to the trngs.
i rmbr during my first few games of full contact rugby in my life, i went in w/o trng. like seriously. so i fell on my head very hard several times that caused me bad headaches at night.
so considering today, it was gd. (:
but on my perf wise, i think was bad. the sideline thing one, i could just step in. actually, i knew that i wanted to do it, but my reaction damn slow. it's still not in me to go in and protect. need to train more.
then got one. omg. he broke through.
then i saw my player gg for the guy. she's damn gd one.. but she missed coz i think the guy was running too straightly and fast.
i was really in a gd position to tackle him. just one step and i could have hit him. in fact, i didn't even have to stretch out my hand fully to have made contact.
but i was hestitating. duno if i should go in to help ... duno if i could bring him down and all the shit.
and when i've finally decided to go for him because i saw that my player missed him, by then, he ran passed me. (thanks hesitation.)
then i chased and i was damn near. like one arms length kind. but i really didn't know how to go abt tackling him at that speed and distance.
i mean.
i'm not sad la. just like.. yet another repeated lesson to learn.
its quite sad that the same things keep happening and i dont learn and process as fast as i can.
anyway. the game ended when wing and leelian was on the ground.
quite sad. they both hit each other hard by accident i think. leelian had a hard hit on her head while wing's nose was bleeding.
then wing was sent to the hospital coz i think it didn't look right.
just got news that she broke her nose into multiple bits.
like omg. damn scarrryyy. :(
i think need op to bring the pieces back.
damn worried for her pls. praying for her man. hope she recovers well!!!!
had a gd dinner because we're all talking nonsense as usual.
(:
came home.
and dont feel like studying.
i mean like. even if i try, it wont be productive. so, i'm gg to change my game plan.
slp early, tmr go mac early to study hard.
if i study hard and well, i'll reward myself by going to tp trng.
for fri's study reward, if i study well, it'll be gg for sun's trng. set, marian?
ok.
BRING IT ON.
my back's hurting very randomly now.
anyway.
last night i dreamt of u.
like commm'on marian. let it gooooooooooooooooooo. its hard when things around keep reminding u of him. it doesn't help when u know that he could have been in the same team as u now because he was once a player of this club.
but to be sure and do some self check, i'm proud to say that reasons for joining blacks has got nothing to do with him. (:
yea. and today's game with sajc.
my coach, who has been ur lifetime coach.
ur teammates whom i see at trngs.
like look. what are the possibilities of seeing u. but oh wells. its also gd that u're not that involved now anyway. not being sour grapes but seriously, w/o u around, i think i can be more focused in what i'm doing. ;p
work harder sportspoon. come on. believe that u can do it pls.
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
hedonic experiential model
dammit.
read q wrongly is as gd as not studying.
and the best part is, i studied that part really well. but didn't apply.
argh.
honestly, i think i was prepared enough for at least a distinction for this exam. but i think its the exam thing or smth, my mind cannot think organisedly. everything just wanna vomit out.
mcq. tsk tsk. make me think so much. didn't have much time left, so just scribble one whole essay in point form in the last 5 mins. how cool is that.
haiz. no more distinction. ):
cross fingers for moderation.
but. thanks to the 2yr old expired chicken essense and all the loves i recieved from fm and twitter. hahas.
read q wrongly is as gd as not studying.
and the best part is, i studied that part really well. but didn't apply.
argh.
honestly, i think i was prepared enough for at least a distinction for this exam. but i think its the exam thing or smth, my mind cannot think organisedly. everything just wanna vomit out.
mcq. tsk tsk. make me think so much. didn't have much time left, so just scribble one whole essay in point form in the last 5 mins. how cool is that.
haiz. no more distinction. ):
cross fingers for moderation.
but. thanks to the 2yr old expired chicken essense and all the loves i recieved from fm and twitter. hahas.
Monday, April 26, 2010
conflicting
tmr is exam. and i heroically went for trng.
and when u want to give ur best, making the sacrifices and all, it doesn't help when the rest of the teammates aren't doing the same.
its not frustrating because i dont think i'm in the position to feel so. but its just very... sad.
there's a game on sat and its like that.
i duno how to go on like that if some come for trng, some come for game.. here and there. this includes me. i admit i can't make it for some games on sat due to sch and my races. but i know i give my best whenever i'm either at trng or game. and its just very... ugh. when u know a team is not moving with u.
everyones everywhere. mistakes not clarified. even if so, nothing much really changes.
but today trng was ugh-ish for me. team aside, its more on individual level.
moves we do in games are to help break though to score a try.
when doing the drills, we make mistakes we learn, we know and then we grow.
and yea, to add on, when u have only like 8 ppl for trng, there's no way to prac move with defenders and viceversa.
when in comes to game situation, we apply. but not only just apply, but to exploit gaps and work with the defenders. make sense?
to not try to go round the bush,
the point is,
when we make certain actions, it is of course, come with reasons.
so when u come and feedback to me that i should or should not do so and so... i really appreciate that because after being through so much, i have learnt to listen and not just defend myself, and i do know, its for me to be aware and learn.
but when i start to respond to ur feedback and explain why certain actions had to be made, i would really appreciate that instead of just defending urself, just try and understand it from my standpoint. u really wouldnt know unless u're in my position or hear me out.
and the best part is, during game, when u make the same mistake. how.
at this point, i dont even bother to give u feedback because i know that u'd be like me,- defend urself and all. the difference is. i will listen. but because i feel that there's some form of stigma shit gg around, nothings ever gg to work.
ok. i'm not trying to say i'm right or whatever i am doing is technically at its best.
what i'm trying to say is, in a team sport, its best to listen and try to understand where the person is coming from.
i've been through a no. of teams and players, enough to seek out differences.
many excellent and experienced players, many new players.
there are players who are humble and there are players who are not.
there are players who try to help out with sincere hearts, and there are players who try and proove that oneself is forever doing the right thing at the right time.
there are players who want to give they're 200% and there are players who are just fine with 80%.
i wont say that my thoughts, judgements or interpretations abt ppl and ppl's actions are always fully right. and i will also not deny that in tough times (like now, with the exam stress secretly creeping up on me) my thoughts can be bitch, but i am sure that in my life, i have never ever aimed to bring a person down mentally.
i've been brought down before and it hurts. and because i know, no matter how irritating and how one person may hurt me, i will never do the same.
hoho. i sound damn angelic. but i am sure to say, i will never do hurtful things.
seriously. i think its just the exams and how i am unable to just speak out my thoughts without the fear of u making wrong interpretations of my message. thus. i choose not to speak. my expressions may have given me away, but i know i am trying to hide expressions that would hurt or give the wrong impressions.
that's the prob when in a team, no one is really together in it.
everyones abt the individual.
abt me.
abt myself. and i.
and yea. tmr, its hello army for u.
dammit it, i didn't want to msg u, but i did.
and ur reply was a very casually formal one word.
i should be thankful because it at least, it helps me with letting everything go.
felt damn loser to have msged u though. zero self control. 0.
maybe because i hit the enter button too fast.
ugh. and exam tmr.
i've got 39482093428234 emotions gg on right now. damn wierd. was in such a deep thought that i almost got frightened out my own shadow that's infront of a backlight.
ok. no.
now i feel scared. but at the same time, i must calm myself down.
omg. is like pre-match feelign. WTH.
fml yay! tmr its GD RIDDANCE IMC.
must do well and not repeat the whole damned thing. :D
ok lastly, squished and smeered bird shit on my right handlebar.
i am lucky. tmr, will be a gd day.
focus marian. focus.
and when u want to give ur best, making the sacrifices and all, it doesn't help when the rest of the teammates aren't doing the same.
its not frustrating because i dont think i'm in the position to feel so. but its just very... sad.
there's a game on sat and its like that.
i duno how to go on like that if some come for trng, some come for game.. here and there. this includes me. i admit i can't make it for some games on sat due to sch and my races. but i know i give my best whenever i'm either at trng or game. and its just very... ugh. when u know a team is not moving with u.
everyones everywhere. mistakes not clarified. even if so, nothing much really changes.
but today trng was ugh-ish for me. team aside, its more on individual level.
moves we do in games are to help break though to score a try.
when doing the drills, we make mistakes we learn, we know and then we grow.
and yea, to add on, when u have only like 8 ppl for trng, there's no way to prac move with defenders and viceversa.
when in comes to game situation, we apply. but not only just apply, but to exploit gaps and work with the defenders. make sense?
to not try to go round the bush,
the point is,
when we make certain actions, it is of course, come with reasons.
so when u come and feedback to me that i should or should not do so and so... i really appreciate that because after being through so much, i have learnt to listen and not just defend myself, and i do know, its for me to be aware and learn.
but when i start to respond to ur feedback and explain why certain actions had to be made, i would really appreciate that instead of just defending urself, just try and understand it from my standpoint. u really wouldnt know unless u're in my position or hear me out.
and the best part is, during game, when u make the same mistake. how.
at this point, i dont even bother to give u feedback because i know that u'd be like me,- defend urself and all. the difference is. i will listen. but because i feel that there's some form of stigma shit gg around, nothings ever gg to work.
ok. i'm not trying to say i'm right or whatever i am doing is technically at its best.
what i'm trying to say is, in a team sport, its best to listen and try to understand where the person is coming from.
i've been through a no. of teams and players, enough to seek out differences.
many excellent and experienced players, many new players.
there are players who are humble and there are players who are not.
there are players who try to help out with sincere hearts, and there are players who try and proove that oneself is forever doing the right thing at the right time.
there are players who want to give they're 200% and there are players who are just fine with 80%.
i wont say that my thoughts, judgements or interpretations abt ppl and ppl's actions are always fully right. and i will also not deny that in tough times (like now, with the exam stress secretly creeping up on me) my thoughts can be bitch, but i am sure that in my life, i have never ever aimed to bring a person down mentally.
i've been brought down before and it hurts. and because i know, no matter how irritating and how one person may hurt me, i will never do the same.
hoho. i sound damn angelic. but i am sure to say, i will never do hurtful things.
seriously. i think its just the exams and how i am unable to just speak out my thoughts without the fear of u making wrong interpretations of my message. thus. i choose not to speak. my expressions may have given me away, but i know i am trying to hide expressions that would hurt or give the wrong impressions.
that's the prob when in a team, no one is really together in it.
everyones abt the individual.
abt me.
abt myself. and i.
and yea. tmr, its hello army for u.
dammit it, i didn't want to msg u, but i did.
and ur reply was a very casually formal one word.
i should be thankful because it at least, it helps me with letting everything go.
felt damn loser to have msged u though. zero self control. 0.
maybe because i hit the enter button too fast.
ugh. and exam tmr.
i've got 39482093428234 emotions gg on right now. damn wierd. was in such a deep thought that i almost got frightened out my own shadow that's infront of a backlight.
ok. no.
now i feel scared. but at the same time, i must calm myself down.
omg. is like pre-match feelign. WTH.
must do well and not repeat the whole damned thing. :D
ok lastly, squished and smeered bird shit on my right handlebar.
i am lucky. tmr, will be a gd day.
focus marian. focus.
15s
though i've been trng in rugby, i am aching not because of that but because of bowling and writing notes. seriously. had to actually put salonpas on my right shoulder because of that.
well. today's my 1st time playing 15s. been playing 10s and 7s. so 15s probably smth new.
friendlies with SRC and this team from NZ Navy. they're huge. like no joke. like big strong kind of huge. in contact sports, opponents who are huge definitely has some advantage over smaller players.
oh wells.
urgency urgency urgency.
played as a winger.
feel very driven to want to improve more and faster.
need to start trng from basics. still many thousand things i'm unsure of how to execute it well. ):
oh wells. this is gg in a better direction than ytd's 4 pin event. AHHA. (ok . enough.)
so today. amanda teo li chun saved the day by lending me her imc textbk, older version. but i'm very thankful alrdy. didn't expect to need the txtbk.
ok.
some points to note from studying:
early adoptors. aka. those not kiasee. Ahahahaha that's y sg no official Apple shop. market alrdy so small, ppl all so kiasee. not worth it.
for the sports ppl studying marketing. "YOU WILL PAY FOR IT LATER" seriouslyy.
yea. after the game i read the part abt this. scary huh.
yea. so what's the point? marketers are geniuses because mkters have the ability to convert very ambiguous intangible stuff into monetary value. finance ppl can only go try and figure how we do it. hah.
this is just damn corny the way the author described it. tears to aviod the grief. hahhahahahas
this sem, for some reason, i feel that studying is very mental challenging. really on ur own to figure what's impt and what's not because neither everyone's a joelle/estee/hakim and stuff.
its like.
1. u are scared
2. but u have the assurance that u'll do well if u study well
3. but u are still scared.
4. but when u confident abit more, can.
5. but still scared.
but ok. for some consolation, i'm keeping my plan well. coz ytd go pbc league. today trng and friendly. tmr train. and tue exam.
its like... u must find the line of focusing and chillin'.
chillin' here is not relaxing.. but to be calm. like chill yow. dont panic.
panic only, u drown.
just like swimming in the water, "the more u resist, the more u struggle"
gosh. i've got so many quotes today. all thanks to twittering, my mind is synced like that.
studied till 1am at pp macs today. there was this guy walked pass me and asked if i was studying. i mean like... DUH. drawing huh.
then e saw my helmet and asked "hey...e helmet.. later ur bf sending u home ar".
YAH. i'm sure.
nonsense.
speaking of helmets. i dont like ppl carrying their helmets around to show they have smth to do with motorbikes. i mean on a bright sunny day, u can hang ur helmet right. or put in ur box. to justify myself, if my box is full and on dark-threatening days, i dont take chances and carry that heavy thing.
chaota damn funny today. she said imagine using my helmet as a scrum cap. whoooots.
i think while defending also can gain 10,0000 ground. ahahahs.
well. today's my 1st time playing 15s. been playing 10s and 7s. so 15s probably smth new.
friendlies with SRC and this team from NZ Navy. they're huge. like no joke. like big strong kind of huge. in contact sports, opponents who are huge definitely has some advantage over smaller players.
oh wells.
urgency urgency urgency.
played as a winger.
feel very driven to want to improve more and faster.
need to start trng from basics. still many thousand things i'm unsure of how to execute it well. ):
oh wells. this is gg in a better direction than ytd's 4 pin event. AHHA. (ok . enough.)
so today. amanda teo li chun saved the day by lending me her imc textbk, older version. but i'm very thankful alrdy. didn't expect to need the txtbk.
ok.
some points to note from studying:
early adoptors. aka. those not kiasee. Ahahahaha that's y sg no official Apple shop. market alrdy so small, ppl all so kiasee. not worth it.
for the sports ppl studying marketing. "YOU WILL PAY FOR IT LATER" seriouslyy.
yea. after the game i read the part abt this. scary huh.
yea. so what's the point? marketers are geniuses because mkters have the ability to convert very ambiguous intangible stuff into monetary value. finance ppl can only go try and figure how we do it. hah.
this is just damn corny the way the author described it. tears to aviod the grief. hahhahahahas
this sem, for some reason, i feel that studying is very mental challenging. really on ur own to figure what's impt and what's not because neither everyone's a joelle/estee/hakim and stuff.
its like.
1. u are scared
2. but u have the assurance that u'll do well if u study well
3. but u are still scared.
4. but when u confident abit more, can.
5. but still scared.
but ok. for some consolation, i'm keeping my plan well. coz ytd go pbc league. today trng and friendly. tmr train. and tue exam.
its like... u must find the line of focusing and chillin'.
chillin' here is not relaxing.. but to be calm. like chill yow. dont panic.
panic only, u drown.
just like swimming in the water, "the more u resist, the more u struggle"
gosh. i've got so many quotes today. all thanks to twittering, my mind is synced like that.
studied till 1am at pp macs today. there was this guy walked pass me and asked if i was studying. i mean like... DUH. drawing huh.
then e saw my helmet and asked "hey...e helmet.. later ur bf sending u home ar".
YAH. i'm sure.
nonsense.
speaking of helmets. i dont like ppl carrying their helmets around to show they have smth to do with motorbikes. i mean on a bright sunny day, u can hang ur helmet right. or put in ur box. to justify myself, if my box is full and on dark-threatening days, i dont take chances and carry that heavy thing.
chaota damn funny today. she said imagine using my helmet as a scrum cap. whoooots.
i think while defending also can gain 10,0000 ground. ahahahs.
Sunday, April 25, 2010
actually, i was abt to blog and whine abt how emo lonely and dont-want-to-study right now.
but suddenly, Chasing Safety pops up on msn and talked to me.
and seriously brightened up my night.
love her lots.
ok yes.
this yr, 2010, i've seemingly to slowly loose my inner strength.
i give in to comfort to easily.
i am not discipline.
alright marian.
its time to make a change. dont wait till a define-less next yr to change things.
alright. i heard that u're gg in army on 27th? hah. day of my IMC paper.
anyohhows. i pray, seriously pray, that u'll learn, grow, and lead well.
i believe that u're a gd leader and u'll do well if u want to.
make the best out of it, soldier.
may this be a life changing experience. (no, i am not payed by MINDEF)
amen.
but suddenly, Chasing Safety pops up on msn and talked to me.
and seriously brightened up my night.
love her lots.
ok yes.
this yr, 2010, i've seemingly to slowly loose my inner strength.
i give in to comfort to easily.
i am not discipline.
alright marian.
its time to make a change. dont wait till a define-less next yr to change things.
alright. i heard that u're gg in army on 27th? hah. day of my IMC paper.
anyohhows. i pray, seriously pray, that u'll learn, grow, and lead well.
i believe that u're a gd leader and u'll do well if u want to.
make the best out of it, soldier.
may this be a life changing experience. (no, i am not payed by MINDEF)
amen.
Saturday, April 24, 2010
defeated.
F man.
Lesson learnt: never give up mentally unless u are really sure of the situation.
4th. missing out 4 pins to get $70 and a trophy. $70 ok. game fee can be covered. damn. $70. yea. and talk abt the opportunity cost today.
- 1. studying.
- 2. didn't go STL to play against Blacks touch.
its like. 4 pins. just 4 pins. i rmbr i had a few frames.. a spare follow by a first shot of 5. if i had like just one frame.. do one gd shot and hit 9, 4 wouldn't be a prob. or like 2nd last game, 10th frame. wasted.
seriously.
actualy... i really wasn't bowling well at the start. the 172 came because i just wanted to relax an take it as trng... train my routine and all. the the score came to a surprise. the went i had the feeling right, the 196 just came.
but by then, because of my first few games, i really wasn't gg all out to fight because it would be pointless.
basket. so after 7th game, i just wanted to take a peek at the standings since lane breakdown...
and to my surprise... i was 2nd after 6 games. i was like.. omg. i was still in the running. shit.
this was when i realised that everyone's not doing well also. i think the lane condition were tough. the guys were also struggling.
but damn sad. by that i've already bowled a 141 for the 7th game and i knew that's gg to be costly.
so ok la. fight back.still got chance.
managed to get 210. opened 1 frame in that game and that's probably very costly as well.
so while waiting for the results to be out, i was actually quite confident that i was able to secure at least a 3rd postion because of my 210 game as i heard the +/- scores of other girls. and dammit it. results out, i saw my name below the line and felt damn sian.
this kind of marginal feeling sucks.
if i'm like last or smth, not so bad. to loose by this bit is like a knife into ur heart. hahas. and the best part is, the 3rd position girl and i were bowling side by side. honestly, whole time i felt that we were pacing each other or smth.
yea and 1st and 2nd also tie with overall pinfall. vic got a higher high game in her last game so she won.
so close.
i mean to look at it overall, its quite stupid coz everyone's fighting at a 160 avg level. i realy think its lane condition. after not bowling for so long.. totally unsure of what changes to be made and all.
after the whole sian thing, was waiting for the bus very sianly. wanted to be heard.
so i was twittering, fbing and all. ahhahs. attention seeking huh.
i just needed someone to listen to my whining. my friends left the alley earlier also so i couldn't whine. then i wanted to msg this person. typed. then erased. didn't want to give wrong hopes i guess. i mean like fellow bowler would understand bowling language. but i just didn't want to use a friend like that.
so i was emo-ing, went to yishun to buy lots of food home. HAHHHAHHA. ok. but i didn't finish all. fitness priortizes emoness.
so.
this yr's the asian uni games towards e end of the year. i really want to have a fighting chance to rep sg in this coz it's really gg to be my very final opportunity to bowl competitively. there's a whole lot of technically stronger bowlers out there in my pool but i dont want to give up at the sight of this. i'll fight for it and i make sure i'll train hard for this yr's sunig.
i'm quite sure this yr's gg to be my last competitive bowling year, so i wanna achieve some things and end it off well.
took public transport today. though the airconditioning was half faulty, i felt safe.
but still, to reach OCC at 1.30pm, i left my house at 12pm, instead of a probable 1pm. and i spent $4+ in total just for the bus today. and this could be the amt for 3 days of long distances travelling.
i miss amandas teo alot today.
Lesson learnt: never give up mentally unless u are really sure of the situation.
4th. missing out 4 pins to get $70 and a trophy. $70 ok. game fee can be covered. damn. $70. yea. and talk abt the opportunity cost today.
- 1. studying.
- 2. didn't go STL to play against Blacks touch.
its like. 4 pins. just 4 pins. i rmbr i had a few frames.. a spare follow by a first shot of 5. if i had like just one frame.. do one gd shot and hit 9, 4 wouldn't be a prob. or like 2nd last game, 10th frame. wasted.
seriously.
actualy... i really wasn't bowling well at the start. the 172 came because i just wanted to relax an take it as trng... train my routine and all. the the score came to a surprise. the went i had the feeling right, the 196 just came.
but by then, because of my first few games, i really wasn't gg all out to fight because it would be pointless.
basket. so after 7th game, i just wanted to take a peek at the standings since lane breakdown...
and to my surprise... i was 2nd after 6 games. i was like.. omg. i was still in the running. shit.
this was when i realised that everyone's not doing well also. i think the lane condition were tough. the guys were also struggling.
but damn sad. by that i've already bowled a 141 for the 7th game and i knew that's gg to be costly.
so ok la. fight back.still got chance.
managed to get 210. opened 1 frame in that game and that's probably very costly as well.
so while waiting for the results to be out, i was actually quite confident that i was able to secure at least a 3rd postion because of my 210 game as i heard the +/- scores of other girls. and dammit it. results out, i saw my name below the line and felt damn sian.
this kind of marginal feeling sucks.
if i'm like last or smth, not so bad. to loose by this bit is like a knife into ur heart. hahas. and the best part is, the 3rd position girl and i were bowling side by side. honestly, whole time i felt that we were pacing each other or smth.
yea and 1st and 2nd also tie with overall pinfall. vic got a higher high game in her last game so she won.
so close.
i mean to look at it overall, its quite stupid coz everyone's fighting at a 160 avg level. i realy think its lane condition. after not bowling for so long.. totally unsure of what changes to be made and all.
after the whole sian thing, was waiting for the bus very sianly. wanted to be heard.
so i was twittering, fbing and all. ahhahs. attention seeking huh.
i just needed someone to listen to my whining. my friends left the alley earlier also so i couldn't whine. then i wanted to msg this person. typed. then erased. didn't want to give wrong hopes i guess. i mean like fellow bowler would understand bowling language. but i just didn't want to use a friend like that.
so i was emo-ing, went to yishun to buy lots of food home. HAHHHAHHA. ok. but i didn't finish all. fitness priortizes emoness.
so.
this yr's the asian uni games towards e end of the year. i really want to have a fighting chance to rep sg in this coz it's really gg to be my very final opportunity to bowl competitively. there's a whole lot of technically stronger bowlers out there in my pool but i dont want to give up at the sight of this. i'll fight for it and i make sure i'll train hard for this yr's sunig.
i'm quite sure this yr's gg to be my last competitive bowling year, so i wanna achieve some things and end it off well.
took public transport today. though the airconditioning was half faulty, i felt safe.
but still, to reach OCC at 1.30pm, i left my house at 12pm, instead of a probable 1pm. and i spent $4+ in total just for the bus today. and this could be the amt for 3 days of long distances travelling.
i miss amandas teo alot today.
drippin
i am suddenly sick
my nose i drippin
and my body is achin.
hahas. i think so long nv train then like that.
coz for the past few weeks, i've been exercising almost everyday, at max 1 day rest. this wk, mon, thurs and fri no exercise. so i think body cannot adapt. sit at macs and carbo load like mad without using it = SICK.
random thoughts while studying:
does phlip kotler has a personal fb acc where he like wishes his friends happy bday and stuff. ahhahas.
i think why apple dont have an original outlet in Singapore is because the majority of Singaporeans are not early adopters i.e kiasee.
ok. i'm finally making progess with studying and look, its fri. tue's the paper.
in the midst of all these, i'm still planning my may/june FREE PERIOD. hahas.
i am so gg to work and gain more $$. ahhas. have a few jobs in mind alrdy. AHHAHA.
mac delivery! AHHA. flexible hrs and not office job and can lepark one corner. ahhahas.
i wanna be a lifeguard. but i dont think i can get the qualification in time. ):
hahas. seriously, if i put in the same amt of amt as fb/sports into my studies, i'm really gg to be a very smart kid.
today, saw lots of ppl in mac. great to have had lunch with glen. then uncle vincent and rachel. aunty judy and feebie's mum, and later aunty prisca. hahas
totally COA day yow.
yea. i miss COA day. where we all where the white event tee and sell stuff / cook stuff/ mega funfair to raise funds. though the objective was to raise funds, the bonding part was probably the greatest result.
times have changed, and its the reversed.
so anyway. tmr.
i am in no position to compete. cant go stl because of this. ):
pbc thing... to qualify for the milo jnr all stars at the end of the year, and get into masters along the way to earn $.
the last league, i didn't do well. tmr is my chance. but a bad timing.
sick + have not been trng + gg to bring my notes to study.
haha. i'm interested to see how it's gg to be like tmr.
all the best tmr marian. all the best.
my nose i drippin
and my body is achin.
hahas. i think so long nv train then like that.
coz for the past few weeks, i've been exercising almost everyday, at max 1 day rest. this wk, mon, thurs and fri no exercise. so i think body cannot adapt. sit at macs and carbo load like mad without using it = SICK.
random thoughts while studying:
does phlip kotler has a personal fb acc where he like wishes his friends happy bday and stuff. ahhahas.
i think why apple dont have an original outlet in Singapore is because the majority of Singaporeans are not early adopters i.e kiasee.
ok. i'm finally making progess with studying and look, its fri. tue's the paper.
in the midst of all these, i'm still planning my may/june FREE PERIOD. hahas.
i am so gg to work and gain more $$. ahhas. have a few jobs in mind alrdy. AHHAHA.
mac delivery! AHHA. flexible hrs and not office job and can lepark one corner. ahhahas.
i wanna be a lifeguard. but i dont think i can get the qualification in time. ):
hahas. seriously, if i put in the same amt of amt as fb/sports into my studies, i'm really gg to be a very smart kid.
today, saw lots of ppl in mac. great to have had lunch with glen. then uncle vincent and rachel. aunty judy and feebie's mum, and later aunty prisca. hahas
totally COA day yow.
yea. i miss COA day. where we all where the white event tee and sell stuff / cook stuff/ mega funfair to raise funds. though the objective was to raise funds, the bonding part was probably the greatest result.
times have changed, and its the reversed.
so anyway. tmr.
i am in no position to compete. cant go stl because of this. ):
pbc thing... to qualify for the milo jnr all stars at the end of the year, and get into masters along the way to earn $.
the last league, i didn't do well. tmr is my chance. but a bad timing.
sick + have not been trng + gg to bring my notes to study.
haha. i'm interested to see how it's gg to be like tmr.
all the best tmr marian. all the best.
Thursday, April 22, 2010
blacks
Blogging from phone now because wireless is down.
Studies today. But only 2 chapters.. I have tmr and fri left. Come on. 8th may, team is gg up to KL for the NRCs match. I'm contemplating if I should go because I've got a paper on 10th may. Imagine I can't come back to sg on time. I mean.. Its just one chpt of BE. I think I can handle it. But scary. Coz sat coming back, mon paper... And I'. Also not sure if there's STL on tt day.
Went trng early today. Was talking to s.. I feel like we're one family. The team. I dunno if its the place (literally) or what.. But I feel at home when I train. I feel as if this club has been waiting for me for a long time? Haha. Corny, but yea. Though I recently got to know gene and chongfu personally, it seems like I've known them for a long time. I mean,I've heard of them since long ago..even b4 I started touch.. But not know them personally...
Maybe its really e physical environment... Church. Where I grew up. Where I watched how st. Andrew's turned into a SA village like how its known today. Honestly, I chosen this club at first because it does not clash with monsoon trng. However, now, I rlly feel that I've made a right decision.
Maybe its the peers that are on e team, talking nonsense all day long, spamming all forms of social networks avaliable. Twitter and fb...
Maybe also because I see friends everywhere.. The sa ruggers.. Knowning them for a good 4 yrs. I rmbr how we said to each other 3 yrs backs like though we knew each other for a few months, we feel tt we've known each other for many yrs. (: maybe its just the whole Saints thing.
Honestly, its by God's grace of where I am now. Whatever it is, I hope this sport, again, teach me new life experiences again and pushes me to be a stronger person. Of course, I want to improve in my technical skills and knowledge which will come in handy for touch..as of course, help me regain back confidence in myself and more drive to work harder.
Listening to the radio...
seriously, nexcare acne patch is using all kinds of social network for enhancing Brand familiarity. the radio, then the blog competition, fusing with fb. that's really a genius. getting public involved and all, reaching the target market to the max.
I am not stuyding hard enough to cover up trng times.
I need to be more self-motivated and driven.
yea. and today the physio said that my atfl ankle ligament's probably torn fully instead of partially. whoohoo.
Studies today. But only 2 chapters.. I have tmr and fri left. Come on. 8th may, team is gg up to KL for the NRCs match. I'm contemplating if I should go because I've got a paper on 10th may. Imagine I can't come back to sg on time. I mean.. Its just one chpt of BE. I think I can handle it. But scary. Coz sat coming back, mon paper... And I'. Also not sure if there's STL on tt day.
Went trng early today. Was talking to s.. I feel like we're one family. The team. I dunno if its the place (literally) or what.. But I feel at home when I train. I feel as if this club has been waiting for me for a long time? Haha. Corny, but yea. Though I recently got to know gene and chongfu personally, it seems like I've known them for a long time. I mean,I've heard of them since long ago..even b4 I started touch.. But not know them personally...
Maybe its really e physical environment... Church. Where I grew up. Where I watched how st. Andrew's turned into a SA village like how its known today. Honestly, I chosen this club at first because it does not clash with monsoon trng. However, now, I rlly feel that I've made a right decision.
Maybe its the peers that are on e team, talking nonsense all day long, spamming all forms of social networks avaliable. Twitter and fb...
Maybe also because I see friends everywhere.. The sa ruggers.. Knowning them for a good 4 yrs. I rmbr how we said to each other 3 yrs backs like though we knew each other for a few months, we feel tt we've known each other for many yrs. (: maybe its just the whole Saints thing.
Honestly, its by God's grace of where I am now. Whatever it is, I hope this sport, again, teach me new life experiences again and pushes me to be a stronger person. Of course, I want to improve in my technical skills and knowledge which will come in handy for touch..as of course, help me regain back confidence in myself and more drive to work harder.
Listening to the radio...
seriously, nexcare acne patch is using all kinds of social network for enhancing Brand familiarity. the radio, then the blog competition, fusing with fb. that's really a genius. getting public involved and all, reaching the target market to the max.
I am not stuyding hard enough to cover up trng times.
I need to be more self-motivated and driven.
yea. and today the physio said that my atfl ankle ligament's probably torn fully instead of partially. whoohoo.
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
study train
photos up on the site today.
if i study as hard as i train, i think i'll be a professor by now.
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
The Only exception- Paramore
Found at: FilesTube - Megaupload search
When I was younger
I saw my daddy cry
And curse at the wind
He broke his own heart
And I watched
As he tried to reassemble it
And my momma swore that
She would never let herself forget
And that was the day that I promised
I'd never sing of love
If it does not exist
But darling,
You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception
Maybe I know, somewhere
Deep in my soul
That love never lasts
And we've got to find other ways
To make it alone
Keep a straight face
And I've always lived like this
Keeping a comfortable, distance
And up until now
I had sworn to myself that I'm
Content with loneliness
Because none of it was ever worth the risk
Well, You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception
I've got a tight grip on reality
But I can't
Let go of what's in front of me here
I know you're leaving
In the morning, when you wake up
Leave me with some kind of proof it's not a dream
Ohh---
You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception
And I'm on my way to believing
Oh, And I'm on my way to believing
what a song to sum it up.
When its raining and my bike's cold, drenched and soaked all alone, I feel so sad for him.
Monday, April 19, 2010
quote me
3 sets.
circuit.
still doing my fitess with gina during trngs. u know. we're supposed to push each other right. but she's the only one doing her job, i'm not. ):
i feel soweak...so hard to push out more effort.
yea. we completed the 3 sets. but seriously, some of the drills, though i finished the count, i didn't do full out. especailly the medicine ball push up. om_g. the first time i did it, i stucked at 9. then do until 15. then K.O. then my partner came and support me by counting down the last 5.
and i think while doing shoulder press, i strained my upper back for a while.
previous weeks we did bench press like 23kg or smth. it was like virgin experience for bench press. when it's my turn, i just used the bar only. 17.5kg. felt damn weak. and she did like the full thing, 15 gd sets. i tried the 23kg one. i did 10 sets then she had to support me for the last 5.
its always the last 5 huh.
mental sucks = i give in to comfort too easily.
this post is dedicated to GTJL. ahhas.
seriously. (:
i think we're very similar.
today, planned to study with estherunagi at pp macs. then saw ly, azu, gina and juan came later. hahahs. it felt like a semi team study thing. HAH. so random!
we studied.
got to know more abt gina.
we have the same watch and she's also studying part of marketing in smu.
been doing fitness with her during the sessions. so we got to know each other a little better. she's also like into adventures, vertical marathons and the whatever nots.
trng with her, i really feel motivated.
like right now, or rather, since i had the ankle shit, i always feel that i can't do better. i guess the initial response towards trngs/fitness for the injured ankle has sustained and evolved to habitual thinking.
so probably, right now, its habitual that i think i can't do better physically. dammit.
minyi wrote on my wall that i'm faster. hahas.
i dont feel faster though i've been trng alot recently for OSIM and crashing tp's trng, monsoon trng, and blacks' preseason fitness trng. (wah. i just realised! wah.)
but last sat, minyi said that she saw that i'm faster now. haha.
its like looking at a person.
looking at a person everyday won't allow u to notice changes; whereas a person who hasn't seen u for some time will notice the change. yea. i guess it applies to speed as well?
HAIZ.
i want to be faster.
think faster.
create faster.
its really time i step out of my comfort zone and stop thinking that i can't do it.
lame cliche shits. but it's really a fact that such simplistic thoughts are able to pull u down and drown u in the pits of the i-cannot-do-it shits.
with such mentality, honestly, no matter how much time and serious effort u put in, at the end of the day, u still really can't do it.
this is also what i've learnt through bowling competitively. and in bowling it really shows literally on the big screen where everyone can see. unlike rugby/touch, there's not such literal public individual evaluation. u need not only physical consistency, but mental consistency
maybe,
sometimes u're just afraid to be better. to be good. and that's very bad thinking. very bad.
so today,
i've studied. but at the rate i'm gg. one wk is just NOT enough.
studying is like fitess.
u dont like it. but u have to do it to be better.
wah. another quote for u to quote on me so that i can be famous when i die. hahas.
think abt the gd pts of studying:
- life is well planned out. if its not eat sleep train, its study.
- makes u feel useful
- u're really gaining knowledge
- u've got a gd valid reason to excuse urself from many things.
last wk marian. see. starting to regret now right. see see.
always like that.
circuit.
still doing my fitess with gina during trngs. u know. we're supposed to push each other right. but she's the only one doing her job, i'm not. ):
i feel so
yea. we completed the 3 sets. but seriously, some of the drills, though i finished the count, i didn't do full out. especailly the medicine ball push up. om_g. the first time i did it, i stucked at 9. then do until 15. then K.O. then my partner came and support me by counting down the last 5.
and i think while doing shoulder press, i strained my upper back for a while.
previous weeks we did bench press like 23kg or smth. it was like virgin experience for bench press. when it's my turn, i just used the bar only. 17.5kg. felt damn weak. and she did like the full thing, 15 gd sets. i tried the 23kg one. i did 10 sets then she had to support me for the last 5.
its always the last 5 huh.
mental sucks = i give in to comfort too easily.
this post is dedicated to GTJL. ahhas.
seriously. (:
i think we're very similar.
today, planned to study with estherunagi at pp macs. then saw ly, azu, gina and juan came later. hahahs. it felt like a semi team study thing. HAH. so random!
we studied.
got to know more abt gina.
we have the same watch and she's also studying part of marketing in smu.
been doing fitness with her during the sessions. so we got to know each other a little better. she's also like into adventures, vertical marathons and the whatever nots.
trng with her, i really feel motivated.
like right now, or rather, since i had the ankle shit, i always feel that i can't do better. i guess the initial response towards trngs/fitness for the injured ankle has sustained and evolved to habitual thinking.
so probably, right now, its habitual that i think i can't do better physically. dammit.
minyi wrote on my wall that i'm faster. hahas.
i dont feel faster though i've been trng alot recently for OSIM and crashing tp's trng, monsoon trng, and blacks' preseason fitness trng. (wah. i just realised! wah.)
but last sat, minyi said that she saw that i'm faster now. haha.
its like looking at a person.
looking at a person everyday won't allow u to notice changes; whereas a person who hasn't seen u for some time will notice the change. yea. i guess it applies to speed as well?
HAIZ.
i want to be faster.
think faster.
create faster.
its really time i step out of my comfort zone and stop thinking that i can't do it.
lame cliche shits. but it's really a fact that such simplistic thoughts are able to pull u down and drown u in the pits of the i-cannot-do-it shits.
with such mentality, honestly, no matter how much time and serious effort u put in, at the end of the day, u still really can't do it.
this is also what i've learnt through bowling competitively. and in bowling it really shows literally on the big screen where everyone can see. unlike rugby/touch, there's not such literal public individual evaluation. u need not only physical consistency, but mental consistency
maybe,
sometimes u're just afraid to be better. to be good. and that's very bad thinking. very bad.
so today,
i've studied. but at the rate i'm gg. one wk is just NOT enough.
studying is like fitess.
u dont like it. but u have to do it to be better.
wah. another quote for u to quote on me so that i can be famous when i die. hahas.
think abt the gd pts of studying:
- life is well planned out. if its not eat sleep train, its study.
- makes u feel useful
- u're really gaining knowledge
- u've got a gd valid reason to excuse urself from many things.
last wk marian. see. starting to regret now right. see see.
always like that.
Sunday, April 18, 2010
lightningz
amazing how lightning can change so many things.
STL vs pirates today
impt game. had to win this to secure a place in the quarters.
it was actually bright, sunny and damn hot.
and like almost immediately, the vast bright skies became all filled with grey clouds.
then drizzle.
while playing, lightning all over.
so bad, that abt 7mins after half time, the game had to be stopped.
k. weather aside.
game.
whenever facing ur past clubs/sch and all, playing against them involves deep inner emotions. no doubt, u still want to fight hard all out for ur current club. but then, feelings for ur opponents/ sentimental value still exists.
today. honestly, ref wad damn mean.
everything also offside. nvm.
got one i score. i dumped the ball first on the line then i slided out off to dead ball zone. basket. he say i touch the dead ball line so not counted.
i mean like. seriously. down first within the score area then my left leg touched the line. it still counts as a score pls.
and thus, instead of a possible 3-2, it was 2-2 at half time.
everyone was really head on.
i think i did smth bad.
but i think it was unintentional.
it was a change over.
my team wasn't ready.
i held on to the ball.
i was thinking as i gg back on defend. then i realized i was holding the ball.
but i was still thinking of what's next.
until i heard cc shouted, "eh, give me the ball pls".
but i was still thinking what's next.
until i realized.. oh yea. i was holding the ball. so i just dropped the balled and it bounced all over.
and i think cc got irritated.
haiz. i felt so bad.
so then. the lightning part and all.
intense pls.
then rode to yck.
scary. riding towards long streaks of lightning.
then A5N.
SG and sri lanka match so damn close. like the last min.. literally, score was still 16-16. until. sg slow in turnover, then srilanka exploit like mad. then try and convert.
like omg. damn sad.
burnt lots of cds today.
made alot of friends throughout these 2 days.
got to know more abt the 15s and how sru works and stuff.
didn't study.
ramily burgers TTM.
on the way home. i go pump petrol at the usual bedok esso station.
omg. when i went into the store to make payment.. the counter guy was like "hey baby...." like omg. so ehws ehws ehws. in the singaporeish-singlish-chinese tone.
ehwwss. cannot believe it. i gave him the wth eyebrowns, made payment and left asap.
how. he works there. and i pump petrol there frequently. HAIZ. can't they have more esso stations around in the east?
and gd nite.
STL vs pirates today
impt game. had to win this to secure a place in the quarters.
it was actually bright, sunny and damn hot.
and like almost immediately, the vast bright skies became all filled with grey clouds.
then drizzle.
while playing, lightning all over.
so bad, that abt 7mins after half time, the game had to be stopped.
k. weather aside.
game.
whenever facing ur past clubs/sch and all, playing against them involves deep inner emotions. no doubt, u still want to fight hard all out for ur current club. but then, feelings for ur opponents/ sentimental value still exists.
today. honestly, ref wad damn mean.
everything also offside. nvm.
got one i score. i dumped the ball first on the line then i slided out off to dead ball zone. basket. he say i touch the dead ball line so not counted.
i mean like. seriously. down first within the score area then my left leg touched the line. it still counts as a score pls.
and thus, instead of a possible 3-2, it was 2-2 at half time.
everyone was really head on.
i think i did smth bad.
but i think it was unintentional.
it was a change over.
my team wasn't ready.
i held on to the ball.
i was thinking as i gg back on defend. then i realized i was holding the ball.
but i was still thinking of what's next.
until i heard cc shouted, "eh, give me the ball pls".
but i was still thinking what's next.
until i realized.. oh yea. i was holding the ball. so i just dropped the balled and it bounced all over.
and i think cc got irritated.
haiz. i felt so bad.
so then. the lightning part and all.
intense pls.
then rode to yck.
scary. riding towards long streaks of lightning.
then A5N.
SG and sri lanka match so damn close. like the last min.. literally, score was still 16-16. until. sg slow in turnover, then srilanka exploit like mad. then try and convert.
like omg. damn sad.
burnt lots of cds today.
made alot of friends throughout these 2 days.
got to know more abt the 15s and how sru works and stuff.
didn't study.
ramily burgers TTM.
on the way home. i go pump petrol at the usual bedok esso station.
omg. when i went into the store to make payment.. the counter guy was like "hey baby...." like omg. so ehws ehws ehws. in the singaporeish-singlish-chinese tone.
ehwwss. cannot believe it. i gave him the wth eyebrowns, made payment and left asap.
how. he works there. and i pump petrol there frequently. HAIZ. can't they have more esso stations around in the east?
and gd nite.
Friday, April 16, 2010
crowds
sometimes we're in the wrong crowd and we dont know it.
k. i feel like bloggin emo-ish act matur-ish stuff now.
maybe coz recently, one of my guit strings snapped due to the weather smth so i had to change it. being cheepo and lazy, i re-used an old rusted out string to replace it. i keep old strings btw. hahas. so much for being a sentimental person.
whenever i touch my guit or what, for some reason, i'd think more.
and also because, i'm in the phase whereby i'm not yet working and gg into my final sem, its a phase where its sort of opening up another chapt in ur life.
yea. and blogging like a teenager facing emo shits, which actualy yea, it is.
friends u made with.
as time goes by.
starts doing other things.
and u follow.
its wrong. but because they are ur friends, it seems right.
this 'other things' are probabbly distractions of the world. be it dressing up, smoking, clubbing, sports or anything that takes u away from who u are, and more imptly, from God, just leaves u a big question mark of who u are.
not so much abt ur identity, but who u questions who u really ar. WWPMD kinda thing- what would marian poon do.
haha. yes.
maybe u can call it change/adapt for the better or what.
so what defines it whether it's right or wrong.
everyone probably struggles with this.
to me, no one, no law can justify what's right or wrong.
to me, if God's unhappy, its wrong.
simple.
we know we. but outwardly, we unwillingly deny it.
just like apost. Paul.
tsk tsk.
during bible study, we sort of 'criticize' his act, confidently saying we wont deny Christ. but to me, i guess making Him unhappy is alrdy as good as denying Him.
its like.. because u dont put Him as the first, u're like indirectly denying Him by placing ur worldly passions infront.
really not to give excuses or what, i know my sporting activties is not the one taking time away from God. ppl control time. whoever says 'i've got no time' means u just duno how to prioritize ur time. everyone has 24hrs. the ppl in thailand. US P. Obama, Sg'S MM LKY, all have 24hrs. says who we dont have time.
i believe, it voices down to attitudes. whether we want to do it or not. i always believe if u want to do smth, sure got time, unless, there are pressures/ responsibilites that u have to carry out. but nonetheless, it's still a not good enough reason to not have time for God.
for me, just admit it. i am lazy.
i want to slp when its time i should.
haiz. as i travel around.
and looking back.
people's ideologies turn to satisfying the materialistic world.
i go to parties, i see the way girls dress.. like omg. i mean like. ok, i really sound like a super conservative aunty who sells vegetables at the market. but really ar, appalling. its like. as she walk up the stairs, u can see colours of the rainbow. and when she bends down to pick her stuff, everything. ok. nvm. common.
how abt having a shirt that has buttons and u dun use them.
i dun understand.
u know, when i look at these girls, yea, hot and attractive. then i think again.
put so much effort for what. to be confident of who u are? or to just be attractive for thewrong whatever reasons.
so when the boyfriend dumps u, dun complain he dont love u.
its simply because in the first place, he's attracted to u physical apperance and probably for really wrong reasons other than ur heart.
that's y i nv believe in dressing up and making myself attractive. i'd rather save the money. buy a gd camera/ phone and wear comfortably to sit comfortable w/o worrying if i'm chao geng-ing or smth.
maybe some girls really dress like that to feel gd and nothing else?
that's the thing. guys can nv be trusted, for now, at these stages of our lives.
we've not started working hard for money for the family, so its really hard to identify what's its gg to be like when we're really like that.
haha and really looking back again. hahas.
one of the probs between this past boy and i, was wierd.
coz we're those that dont bother to dress up properly kind. and we nv understood many things.
we used to quarrell and say things like "why in the first place u like me when there are plenty of attractive ppl out there". HAHAH. bad move.
signs of not being confident of why we like each other and for the future. but still, for now, i still believe that that's not the point. the root's really we lacked maturity and understanding to believe that we were really serious?
i think (yea, because we've still not confronted each other abt what happened). that's stupid and something that when my beloved readers can be sick of when reading, timely putting in the italics on the 'hims' mentioned.
for those who know who's that character, gd for u.
for those who don't. hahah. sorry to provide constant irritation.
whatever it is.
slowly unfolding la huh.
through life experiences and all the shits.
ok. today i studied. one like 2 chpt.
how great. see marian. 5 days. for subjects. u are in deep trouble.
k. i feel like bloggin emo-ish act matur-ish stuff now.
maybe coz recently, one of my guit strings snapped due to the weather smth so i had to change it. being cheepo and lazy, i re-used an old rusted out string to replace it. i keep old strings btw. hahas. so much for being a sentimental person.
whenever i touch my guit or what, for some reason, i'd think more.
and also because, i'm in the phase whereby i'm not yet working and gg into my final sem, its a phase where its sort of opening up another chapt in ur life.
yea. and blogging like a teenager facing emo shits, which actualy yea, it is.
friends u made with.
as time goes by.
starts doing other things.
and u follow.
its wrong. but because they are ur friends, it seems right.
this 'other things' are probabbly distractions of the world. be it dressing up, smoking, clubbing, sports or anything that takes u away from who u are, and more imptly, from God, just leaves u a big question mark of who u are.
not so much abt ur identity, but who u questions who u really ar. WWPMD kinda thing- what would marian poon do.
haha. yes.
maybe u can call it change/adapt for the better or what.
so what defines it whether it's right or wrong.
everyone probably struggles with this.
to me, no one, no law can justify what's right or wrong.
to me, if God's unhappy, its wrong.
simple.
we know we. but outwardly, we unwillingly deny it.
just like apost. Paul.
tsk tsk.
during bible study, we sort of 'criticize' his act, confidently saying we wont deny Christ. but to me, i guess making Him unhappy is alrdy as good as denying Him.
its like.. because u dont put Him as the first, u're like indirectly denying Him by placing ur worldly passions infront.
really not to give excuses or what, i know my sporting activties is not the one taking time away from God. ppl control time. whoever says 'i've got no time' means u just duno how to prioritize ur time. everyone has 24hrs. the ppl in thailand. US P. Obama, Sg'S MM LKY, all have 24hrs. says who we dont have time.
i believe, it voices down to attitudes. whether we want to do it or not. i always believe if u want to do smth, sure got time, unless, there are pressures/ responsibilites that u have to carry out. but nonetheless, it's still a not good enough reason to not have time for God.
for me, just admit it. i am lazy.
i want to slp when its time i should.
haiz. as i travel around.
and looking back.
people's ideologies turn to satisfying the materialistic world.
i go to parties, i see the way girls dress.. like omg. i mean like. ok, i really sound like a super conservative aunty who sells vegetables at the market. but really ar, appalling. its like. as she walk up the stairs, u can see colours of the rainbow. and when she bends down to pick her stuff, everything. ok. nvm. common.
how abt having a shirt that has buttons and u dun use them.
i dun understand.
u know, when i look at these girls, yea, hot and attractive. then i think again.
put so much effort for what. to be confident of who u are? or to just be attractive for the
so when the boyfriend dumps u, dun complain he dont love u.
its simply because in the first place, he's attracted to u physical apperance and probably for really wrong reasons other than ur heart.
that's y i nv believe in dressing up and making myself attractive. i'd rather save the money. buy a gd camera/ phone and wear comfortably to sit comfortable w/o worrying if i'm chao geng-ing or smth.
maybe some girls really dress like that to feel gd and nothing else?
that's the thing. guys can nv be trusted, for now, at these stages of our lives.
we've not started working hard for money for the family, so its really hard to identify what's its gg to be like when we're really like that.
haha and really looking back again. hahas.
one of the probs between this past boy and i, was wierd.
coz we're those that dont bother to dress up properly kind. and we nv understood many things.
we used to quarrell and say things like "why in the first place u like me when there are plenty of attractive ppl out there". HAHAH. bad move.
signs of not being confident of why we like each other and for the future. but still, for now, i still believe that that's not the point. the root's really we lacked maturity and understanding to believe that we were really serious?
i think (yea, because we've still not confronted each other abt what happened). that's stupid and something that when my beloved readers can be sick of when reading, timely putting in the italics on the 'hims' mentioned.
for those who know who's that character, gd for u.
for those who don't. hahah. sorry to provide constant irritation.
whatever it is.
slowly unfolding la huh.
through life experiences and all the shits.
ok. today i studied. one like 2 chpt.
how great. see marian. 5 days. for subjects. u are in deep trouble.
THUNDERS.
i planned to leave the house at 10am to study in sch. but i left at 3pm.
that's like a 5 hrs difference today.
tp library.
dammit. need matric card. i tried to use the alumni card but it said to check at the counter. counter girl say must pay $50 plus for membership. i was like... WTH.
seriouslyyy.
last time it was opened to the max. they're just restriciting a knowledgeable growing outlet for the country. tsk tsk big time.
but whatever, when she wasn't looking, i altered my coursed and sneeked into the lift.
i covered like not even the INTRODUCTION of imc b4 i noticed the dark clouds.
i packed my bag like mad and rushed down.
the rode to the sports complex to seek shelter. just as i super illegally parked behind near the rockwall, it POURED.
and it was damn scary coz the lightning was all over and i was like in open air.
so this was really necessary
and yea, sports com was like black out and stuff. like majorly..
and the best part is, today's really supposed to be study day.
ok. look at this. u have only tmr. and u know ur wkends is unforgiving.
and then, u're left with the next 5 days of weekdays. and with ur trngs.
like that.. HOW.
so u see. omg. STUDY.
so i still dilligently went for trng, still placing fitness over a gd degree.
but today's suicides, literally suicides.
but damn shiok. (sounds saddistic) but really, maybe could have add on more more set plus 150m x 2 more. hahas. then major shiok.
hahahhhahahs
say only. tonight slp. tmr wake up, good game.
for some reason, my upper back has this irritating vibe to it. like got something stuck inside. its not painful, but it feels like my breathing is affected at times. hmmm...
OK. SLP WELL AND WAKE UP GD TMR.no more unlimited snoozing
that's like a 5 hrs difference today.
tp library.
dammit. need matric card. i tried to use the alumni card but it said to check at the counter. counter girl say must pay $50 plus for membership. i was like... WTH.
seriouslyyy.
last time it was opened to the max. they're just restriciting a knowledgeable growing outlet for the country. tsk tsk big time.
but whatever, when she wasn't looking, i altered my coursed and sneeked into the lift.
i covered like not even the INTRODUCTION of imc b4 i noticed the dark clouds.
i packed my bag like mad and rushed down.
the rode to the sports complex to seek shelter. just as i super illegally parked behind near the rockwall, it POURED.
and it was damn scary coz the lightning was all over and i was like in open air.
so this was really necessary
and yea, sports com was like black out and stuff. like majorly..
and the best part is, today's really supposed to be study day.
ok. look at this. u have only tmr. and u know ur wkends is unforgiving.
and then, u're left with the next 5 days of weekdays. and with ur trngs.
like that.. HOW.
so u see. omg. STUDY.
so i still dilligently went for trng, still placing fitness over a gd degree.
but today's suicides, literally suicides.
but damn shiok. (sounds saddistic) but really, maybe could have add on more more set plus 150m x 2 more. hahas. then major shiok.
hahahhhahahs
say only. tonight slp. tmr wake up, good game.
for some reason, my upper back has this irritating vibe to it. like got something stuck inside. its not painful, but it feels like my breathing is affected at times. hmmm...
OK. SLP WELL AND WAKE UP GD TMR.
Thursday, April 15, 2010
A5N
it was the Asian 5 Nations.
volunteered with some of the blacks and src girls.
everything was fun but tiring!
i had guard duty at 5pm till 10pm. hahas.
afternoon. it was so darn hot that we decided to make manual aircond. ahhas. and really, it worked. ahhahhahas. laying near the ice and fan the ice. hahas. just like an aircond. ahahs.
tried KOI bubble tea.
nice sia.
seriously. it tasted like mos' milk tea actually. i like. but i'm still not a big fan of the pearls.
then. HAHA. tweet like mad.
so clar tweeted this photo:
and we decided to follow. AHHAHAHAH.
this photo is actually taken by clar. coz she caught us in the act actually. AHHAH. damn funny.
then it was the chinese taipei vs sri lanka match. 7-37 to srilanka.
wha. sri lanka ppl were damn on.
b4 kick off, their communication level high TTM man. their d was damn gd. they didn't need fanciful stuff, but they made their simple stuff damn gd. like attacking, they're always running damn hard to catch the ball. and they broke through lots of time because of quick change over. there's also like 3v1 at the side and they scored because CT weren't quick enough.
then SL's clearing ar. powerpac. all the while, i was hoping CT to win. but the SL team keep amazing me.
overall, the CT team looked stronger, more upper body mass and stuff. the SL team, they were taller and seemed to be able to run faster and longer.
hahas.
then. was the Singapore VS Malaysia match.
tell u. heart throbbing man.
as always, the ref would never be
during like not even 20mins into the game, zaki kena red card for "tripping" or smth. like wth. no lor.
then like 2nd of the game, malaysians had so many high tackles and he didn't see. (it was the strangle/grab neck kind). or, if he saw, he'd just give yellow card. thanks huh.
was damn amazed by sg's scrum. they could drive alot.
so because of the ref's stupid red card, sg was down with 14 men. like last few mins of the game, SG was leading by 2 points man. it was really anyone's game at that point. 22-20. msia was fighting damn hard. but msia kept dropping balls man.
all the while, SG was leading.. the last mins were damn scary. i mean like, if msia converts a penalty, that's it man.
so in the end, the ref FINALLY decided that it was time to end the game and ta-dah.. 22-20. ok la. welldone.
finals on sat. it's really anybody's game.
whoever's hungrier and more prepared's goona take it
so today,
i did not study. again.
tmr's THURSDAY and it looks like time is really not on my side.
and sad to say, while watching the games today, i missed the days secretly supporting u by the sidelines. watching u do ur thing.
dammit.
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
lect .m4a
thanks to ian, i was able to listen to the lect online.
i didn't go revision lect coz of the project. :/
damn funnny. hahas.
bad news: i haven't started studying.
i have to start this thurs. have to.
MUST. die die must.
i didn't go revision lect coz of the project. :/
damn funnny. hahas.
bad news: i haven't started studying.
i have to start this thurs. have to.
MUST. die die must.
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
4 yrs back
hoho.
so i heroicly travelled to sim to hand in my project.
then i went to find commenwealth dr. blk 115a. omg. took me like 1hr. if i take bus, probably saved more time, money and effort! hot sun. sun was hot. sun was damn hot
i cut my hair today. like finally, after trying to find time to do so since duno when.
the frindge is like.. blech.
ah whatever. after the b exams/perfs and stuff, i'm gg to finally cut short!!! ((: can't wait.
so, headed down to old PA. i knew where was it, just beside the PIE. and i didn't know u could enter in via the PIE. like omg. i went round and round stevens, whitely road. i took 30mins.
so, i reached there, just in time to here the final loudest cheers- time out. and i realised ppl in yellow were happy.
i thought it was a try or smth. but, it was actually full time.
so i came in time, to hear the lost. ):
met up with the awesome girls.
really sad that i couldn't watch the match in time.
somehow, when i looked at them, i felt happy.
it was raining.
just as i was walking in the direction of the girls, i saw utama.
then, i thought of him. coz they're sort of like best friends or smth. same class, same team and all.
then. i just looked away, and i saw him. in the distance, walking away with his friends.
it felt like that time in genting, when i saw him there.
its scary when u dont know if someone u know have seen u or not in the crowd. its scary to not know anything.
its like, u think the person did not see u but actually, he did, and deep down, u really dont know.
then i asked abt the score. 8-7. omg. damn close. somemore, we're leading at first. games like these are just heart wrenching. its like, all out just for that title and because of very marginal mistakes or 0.000001% difference in effort, what u're fighting for become miles away. instead of ur sch's name being carved on the chapionship cup, it ur opponents'. sucky feeling.
but yea, that's not the point for today, for me.
walking on the grounds on an old PA of Singapore, nostalgia max.
the days where our teens and youth ministry were very close that we took out time to support our fellow boys in their toughest times. haha. days in our girls sch uniforms, supporting boys sch. days where i knew nothing abt rugby, so long its a try or what, we'll keep our eyes locked to the score board. HAH.
watching from the side lines, all hearts all out to you, hoping that u'll stay focus, give ur personal best of efforts, and lead the team well.
and i rmbr after everything with the sweet victory, we're secretly damn happy for each other on the field, far away. ohhhs.
how hk/korean/ch8 drama is that.
then i read through those posts around this date few yrs back. realized how die hard saint i was. everything was all so positive.
reading back old post, really make up relook abt ur growth. when we're younger, we'd always think that our actions are the most appropriate when situation arises. now looking back, u'll find thatit's so flawed there's so much room for improvement. but yea, at that point, probably now, we wouldn't understand the core rationale anyways.
today felt 4 years ago. just very distant. players were different. as a supporter, i felt far and exclusive. the crowd was generically the same, but different in each in-depth way. best part, it was raining. and it added on to the amt of effort i spent reminiscing the past as i took a slow long walk back to my bike.
then was m trng.
its funny how both clubs, though different in sport and all, are focusing on the same thing at the same time- defence.
today, was alittle disappointing. for our team, 5 out of 18 players turned up for trng
that's not the point. the pt is.. this sat's game is damn impt. if we lose, we're out. its just this one. i mean like, i have exams too and all!
but yea, then again, i really wouldn't comprehend the depth of why ppl can't come for trng anyways so i have no right or whatsoever to be angry. besides,though i go every trng, i myself have other commitments that prevent me from gg for the games on sat. and really, sch sucks.
but any oh how. just deal with situations that throws into ur face. and better, be positive. its only when u think it's postitive, it's positive.
SIGH. come one. u can do this!
so i heroicly travelled to sim to hand in my project.
then i went to find commenwealth dr. blk 115a. omg. took me like 1hr. if i take bus, probably saved more time, money and effort! hot sun. sun was hot. sun was damn hot
i cut my hair today. like finally, after trying to find time to do so since duno when.
the frindge is like.. blech.
ah whatever. after the b exams/perfs and stuff, i'm gg to finally cut short!!! ((: can't wait.
so, headed down to old PA. i knew where was it, just beside the PIE. and i didn't know u could enter in via the PIE. like omg. i went round and round stevens, whitely road. i took 30mins.
so, i reached there, just in time to here the final loudest cheers- time out. and i realised ppl in yellow were happy.
i thought it was a try or smth. but, it was actually full time.
so i came in time, to hear the lost. ):
met up with the awesome girls.
really sad that i couldn't watch the match in time.
somehow, when i looked at them, i felt happy.
it was raining.
just as i was walking in the direction of the girls, i saw utama.
then, i thought of him. coz they're sort of like best friends or smth. same class, same team and all.
then. i just looked away, and i saw him. in the distance, walking away with his friends.
it felt like that time in genting, when i saw him there.
its scary when u dont know if someone u know have seen u or not in the crowd. its scary to not know anything.
its like, u think the person did not see u but actually, he did, and deep down, u really dont know.
then i asked abt the score. 8-7. omg. damn close. somemore, we're leading at first. games like these are just heart wrenching. its like, all out just for that title and because of very marginal mistakes or 0.000001% difference in effort, what u're fighting for become miles away. instead of ur sch's name being carved on the chapionship cup, it ur opponents'. sucky feeling.
but yea, that's not the point for today, for me.
walking on the grounds on an old PA of Singapore, nostalgia max.
the days where our teens and youth ministry were very close that we took out time to support our fellow boys in their toughest times. haha. days in our girls sch uniforms, supporting boys sch. days where i knew nothing abt rugby, so long its a try or what, we'll keep our eyes locked to the score board. HAH.
watching from the side lines, all hearts all out to you, hoping that u'll stay focus, give ur personal best of efforts, and lead the team well.
and i rmbr after everything with the sweet victory, we're secretly damn happy for each other on the field, far away. ohhhs.
how hk/korean/ch8 drama is that.
then i read through those posts around this date few yrs back. realized how die hard saint i was. everything was all so positive.
reading back old post, really make up relook abt ur growth. when we're younger, we'd always think that our actions are the most appropriate when situation arises. now looking back, u'll find that
today felt 4 years ago. just very distant. players were different. as a supporter, i felt far and exclusive. the crowd was generically the same, but different in each in-depth way. best part, it was raining. and it added on to the amt of effort i spent reminiscing the past as i took a slow long walk back to my bike.
then was m trng.
its funny how both clubs, though different in sport and all, are focusing on the same thing at the same time- defence.
today, was alittle disappointing. for our team, 5 out of 18 players turned up for trng
that's not the point. the pt is.. this sat's game is damn impt. if we lose, we're out. its just this one. i mean like, i have exams too and all!
but yea, then again, i really wouldn't comprehend the depth of why ppl can't come for trng anyways so i have no right or whatsoever to be angry. besides,though i go every trng, i myself have other commitments that prevent me from gg for the games on sat. and really, sch sucks.
but any oh how. just deal with situations that throws into ur face. and better, be positive. its only when u think it's postitive, it's positive.
SIGH. come one. u can do this!
results
bike: 00:54:47
run: 00:38:19
total: 01:33:06
my run really sucks. i think i should be happy with my bike leg coz i knew i gave it my best. i'm like the bottom 10% overall or smth. hahhas. but looking at the results, i think everyone's damn fit in my category. i think ar, if got the swim leg, sure last 10 position. no even 10%. but ok la. the 5 positions above me is damn close. and the samantha, 1961, we're like pacing each other for the whole thing.. overtaking each other during the bike. for the run, i was constantly behind her. all the way till e end and she's 4 position up.
i think i should keep running on my own.
but i hate running. its so long, mundane and boring. no kick. just constant slow tiredness. honestly ar, i dun like endurance sports. coz its super no climax. but, finishing on long thing makes u feel achieved. haha.
so to give it a close, i think i did enjoy pushing myself mentally, and coming to a realization that i am very capable of giving myself excuses, so gd that i start to believe them and go easy.
hahas.
thus, lesson of the day: shut up and train hard.
i actually saw that phrase on a waterbottle during trng. i think its a gd quote.
run: 00:38:19
total: 01:33:06
my run really sucks. i think i should be happy with my bike leg coz i knew i gave it my best. i'm like the bottom 10% overall or smth. hahhas. but looking at the results, i think everyone's damn fit in my category. i think ar, if got the swim leg, sure last 10 position. no even 10%. but ok la. the 5 positions above me is damn close. and the samantha, 1961, we're like pacing each other for the whole thing.. overtaking each other during the bike. for the run, i was constantly behind her. all the way till e end and she's 4 position up.
i think i should keep running on my own.
but i hate running. its so long, mundane and boring. no kick. just constant slow tiredness. honestly ar, i dun like endurance sports. coz its super no climax. but, finishing on long thing makes u feel achieved. haha.
so to give it a close, i think i did enjoy pushing myself mentally, and coming to a realization that i am very capable of giving myself excuses, so gd that i start to believe them and go easy.
hahas.
thus, lesson of the day: shut up and train hard.
i actually saw that phrase on a waterbottle during trng. i think its a gd quote.
Monday, April 12, 2010
trng
today, i heroic-ly went for trng.
gene said that it was gg to be the toughest fitness b4 we move into light trng as the season approaches.
so. the sun was was shinning oh so brightly.
there's a new powerbag thingy. looks like a bloster with sand. but like x1000 heavier.
we're supposed to do 3 sets of many things in 45mins. weights la. runs la. u name it, should have inside. haha. otot.
during the first set, we almost died. seriously. the sun was so bright. it should have been like that for ytd's OSIM. then not so cold.
i was really struggling with the drills. gina and i were pacing each other. she's damn fit. ahhas. she's like my inspiration. on some sets, we're supposed to do 15x or 20x. not that i wanted to slack or go easy, i could just do only 12 or smth.
didn't really reach the mark for those difficult ones.
no. 1), i was undoubtly physically tired. 2)i felt that my battery life of the inner dive was like 10%. it all got sucked out from ytd's bike leg.. the "come on"s, "push it"s, blah blah blah. my soul was sucked out by the sun. my spirit was in deluded rest.
after the 45mins, no one even completed 2 full sets. gina and i were like 1/3 way through 2nd sets. i was abit disappointed myself coz i really couldn't keep up mentally. but ok la. to comfort and give excuses, i dun think i wanna hurt myself in the process of pushing it.
so. after the whole very long trng, we had a gd dinner. after dinner, i was physically very very tired. its not the i-want-to-slp tired.. but the whole body becomng damn nua.
tmr , i am gg all the way to clementi to submit projects. i gg tp first to print the project.
then. i need to run some errands.
then, i want to cut my damn long and messy hair. can't cut it short yet though. ):
then, watch b div finals.
then, trng.
and then u'll realize, 0 study.
i've got 2 wks to nail 4 subjects.
gene said that it was gg to be the toughest fitness b4 we move into light trng as the season approaches.
so. the sun was was shinning oh so brightly.
there's a new powerbag thingy. looks like a bloster with sand. but like x1000 heavier.
we're supposed to do 3 sets of many things in 45mins. weights la. runs la. u name it, should have inside. haha. otot.
during the first set, we almost died. seriously. the sun was so bright. it should have been like that for ytd's OSIM. then not so cold.
i was really struggling with the drills. gina and i were pacing each other. she's damn fit. ahhas. she's like my inspiration. on some sets, we're supposed to do 15x or 20x. not that i wanted to slack or go easy, i could just do only 12 or smth.
didn't really reach the mark for those difficult ones.
no. 1), i was undoubtly physically tired. 2)i felt that my battery life of the inner dive was like 10%. it all got sucked out from ytd's bike leg.. the "come on"s, "push it"s, blah blah blah. my soul was sucked out by the sun. my spirit was in deluded rest.
after the 45mins, no one even completed 2 full sets. gina and i were like 1/3 way through 2nd sets. i was abit disappointed myself coz i really couldn't keep up mentally. but ok la. to comfort and give excuses, i dun think i wanna hurt myself in the process of pushing it.
so. after the whole very long trng, we had a gd dinner. after dinner, i was physically very very tired. its not the i-want-to-slp tired.. but the whole body becomng damn nua.
tmr , i am gg all the way to clementi to submit projects. i gg tp first to print the project.
then. i need to run some errands.
then, i want to cut my damn long and messy hair. can't cut it short yet though. ):
then, watch b div finals.
then, trng.
and then u'll realize, 0 study.
i've got 2 wks to nail 4 subjects.
Sunday, April 11, 2010
OSIM Tri
its my first triathlon.
God probably knows what's best for me.. so.. the swim leg was ....cancelled!
mixed feelings. happy coz i dun have to go through the really tormenting waves. sad coz ireally trained for it. haiz. God probably knows that i'm unprepared. hahas.
we waited and waited and the waves kept crashing in. so the event was delayed by abt 1.5hrs. and finaly decided to be cancelled.
saw alot of friends there! (:
even the ubi bike instructor! hahas. he called out to me.. i was like.. EH. HELLOS! AHAHHAHH. damn funnny.
reached there damn early to see my physio. she's working there on event day. she helped me tape my ankle. luckly got her. the running part at the sand can be quite killer for weaker ankles. the whole CGH sports team was there lor! hahas
so it was glen, jon and i first time. with seasoned winston.
hahas. glen good. he should just keep doing this.
the whole race experience was gd.
transition from bike to run is tiring.
it took me abt 10mins to get my breathing right.
i think i did well for bike. i managed to keep 24-27km/h consistently. if i get road bike ar... swee liao ar. hahah.
for run, i hate runs. so considering that i didn't stop running except for the water points to drink properly, i did relatively well though i felt the fatigue from the bike leg creeping up.
when cycling, i always turn my head to check the mirror's that never there. its like got the feeling and muscle reflex memory to respond as if i was riding a motorbike. when wanted to do a u-turn, i instintively drop my left leg and found that gear change doesn't happen there. ahhahs.
i laughed to myself.
wanted to aim to be on time for revision lect.
then late.
then nvm, project not done. cut the long story short, we're late and we're gg to hand in on mon when everyone else has alrdy handed it in.
overall after the race, i amazingly didn't feel v v tired or what. it felt like i just ended touch trng or smth. maybe i could have pushed more during the run.
God probably knows what's best for me.. so.. the swim leg was ....cancelled!
mixed feelings. happy coz i dun have to go through the really tormenting waves. sad coz i
we waited and waited and the waves kept crashing in. so the event was delayed by abt 1.5hrs. and finaly decided to be cancelled.
saw alot of friends there! (:
even the ubi bike instructor! hahas. he called out to me.. i was like.. EH. HELLOS! AHAHHAHH. damn funnny.
reached there damn early to see my physio. she's working there on event day. she helped me tape my ankle. luckly got her. the running part at the sand can be quite killer for weaker ankles. the whole CGH sports team was there lor! hahas
so it was glen, jon and i first time. with seasoned winston.
hahas. glen good. he should just keep doing this.
the whole race experience was gd.
transition from bike to run is tiring.
it took me abt 10mins to get my breathing right.
i think i did well for bike. i managed to keep 24-27km/h consistently. if i get road bike ar... swee liao ar. hahah.
for run, i hate runs. so considering that i didn't stop running except for the water points to drink properly, i did relatively well though i felt the fatigue from the bike leg creeping up.
when cycling, i always turn my head to check the mirror's that never there. its like got the feeling and muscle reflex memory to respond as if i was riding a motorbike. when wanted to do a u-turn, i instintively drop my left leg and found that gear change doesn't happen there. ahhahs.
i laughed to myself.
wanted to aim to be on time for revision lect.
then late.
then nvm, project not done. cut the long story short, we're late and we're gg to hand in on mon when everyone else has alrdy handed it in.
overall after the race, i amazingly didn't feel v v tired or what. it felt like i just ended touch trng or smth. maybe i could have pushed more during the run.
Friday, April 09, 2010
last run
had the last run tonight at the reservoir.
just found out that the route's actually only 4.3km. ):
and all the while i thought it was 5.3k. haiz. felt so cheated.
was quite funny. i ran like 200m then like wanted to stop. coz i just didn't feel like runnning anymore. so i walked back. then, like 2 ppl ran past against me. so i was like... huh. since here alrdy, just run la. hahahs.
so i ran in the end.
sat's it alrdy.
come on come on. chillax more pls!
2 things i want to say:
1) keep motivated.
2) keep smiling!
with Christ in the vessel you can smile at the storm
just found out that the route's actually only 4.3km. ):
and all the while i thought it was 5.3k. haiz. felt so cheated.
was quite funny. i ran like 200m then like wanted to stop. coz i just didn't feel like runnning anymore. so i walked back. then, like 2 ppl ran past against me. so i was like... huh. since here alrdy, just run la. hahahs.
so i ran in the end.
sat's it alrdy.
come on come on. chillax more pls!
2 things i want to say:
1) keep motivated.
2) keep smiling!
with Christ in the vessel you can smile at the storm
Thursday, April 08, 2010
race pack
see physio again
collected race pack.
had good colourful cupcakes from lynetteworhol
and a gd dinner with team.
from today till sat, relax, visualize, and relax again.
come on come on.
collected race pack.
had good colourful cupcakes from lynetteworhol
and a gd dinner with team.
from today till sat, relax, visualize, and relax again.
come on come on.
Wednesday, April 07, 2010
monstues
just came home from lou's house.
project. AMCA TTM.
mon, i woke up, as if i've not slpt.
i dreamt that i was awake. adjusting my alarm clock, packing my bag/room for the day for more than 3hrs.
i woke up, i thought i didn't slp. but i had the i've-slept energy to a certain extent.
then i paused by the bed side and think hard.
after like at least 3mins, i confirmed that i had slpt because my bag wasn't packed yet. ahhas.
trng.
i hate it when doing things, u like ur own confidence screw u.
shit me.
no point talking abt it now anyways.
while riding back that dark path, for twice, there was a pair of orange shiny eyes on the ground. then i got near, it was a freakin bat that started flying, making me almost swerve my bike.
today.
last day of coaching. damn happy. not more kids that make ur blood boil. ((:
went physio.
omg. she rubbed my calves ar.. i was screaming inwardly to the max.
if it was amplified, the whole sports med clinic would probably hear it.
then was that class.
hate it when there's a i-am-better-but-i-am-humble-and-enjoy-what-i'm-doing atmosphere.
hate it hate it hate it.
0 encouragement; 0 motivation.
then.
project.
project.
project.
project.
project.
wanted to buy skins today. recommended by my physio since damn long ago coz i finally saved up the money. but didn't have time. if i had bought it today, it'll really been good for sat's race.
haiz. everyone wants my 10apr.
to list:
1) OSIM
2) STL
3) REVISION lect for AMCA
4) Play U21 Carnival
5) Super 10Ss
have to go: 2, 3
priority to go: 1, 3
want to go, can't go: 2 , 4, 5
want to go: 2, 4, 5.
so, the plan: 1, (2)-doubt i can make it in time, 3
dammmit.
u see. i've wasted yet another opportunity to learn the basics + have gd fun.
I HATE IT.
and like last sat, i was damn free. too free alrdy as lect was 830am. and that was it.
project. AMCA TTM.
mon, i woke up, as if i've not slpt.
i dreamt that i was awake. adjusting my alarm clock, packing my bag/room for the day for more than 3hrs.
i woke up, i thought i didn't slp. but i had the i've-slept energy to a certain extent.
then i paused by the bed side and think hard.
after like at least 3mins, i confirmed that i had slpt because my bag wasn't packed yet. ahhas.
trng.
i hate it when doing things, u like ur own confidence screw u.
shit me.
no point talking abt it now anyways.
while riding back that dark path, for twice, there was a pair of orange shiny eyes on the ground. then i got near, it was a freakin bat that started flying, making me almost swerve my bike.
today.
last day of coaching. damn happy. not more kids that make ur blood boil. ((:
went physio.
omg. she rubbed my calves ar.. i was screaming inwardly to the max.
if it was amplified, the whole sports med clinic would probably hear it.
then was that class.
hate it when there's a i-am-better-but-i-am-humble-and-enjoy-what-i'm-doing atmosphere.
hate it hate it hate it.
0 encouragement; 0 motivation.
then.
project.
project.
project.
project.
project.
wanted to buy skins today. recommended by my physio since damn long ago coz i finally saved up the money. but didn't have time. if i had bought it today, it'll really been good for sat's race.
haiz. everyone wants my 10apr.
to list:
1) OSIM
2) STL
3) REVISION lect for AMCA
4) Play U21 Carnival
5) Super 10Ss
have to go: 2, 3
priority to go: 1, 3
want to go, can't go: 2 , 4, 5
want to go: 2, 4, 5.
so, the plan: 1, (2)-doubt i can make it in time, 3
dammmit.
u see. i've wasted yet another opportunity to learn the basics + have gd fun.
I HATE IT.
and like last sat, i was damn free. too free alrdy as lect was 830am. and that was it.
Monday, April 05, 2010
re format
happy easter everyone.
and happy birthday amandas.
i tried to think of ways to secretly celebrate for her. but couldn't come up with one that could surprise her and make it memorable. hahs.
i wanted to call up sz to arrange for smth.. but i figured that he'd probably be with her 24/7.. and if suay.. if in the car... amandas' gg to be the one to read the sms anyway. ahhas. so i didn't know how to go abt doing smth.
hahas. so i smsed her nice nice. (:
w/o her, i probably wouldn't be in SIM. thanks to her persistent ah ma bugging, literally dragging me to submit my application form in SIM. and eventually, in the bowling team which made me re-love bowling all over again. hahs.
and yea, probably last 2nd half the the yr was where we improved alot. not enough. but still significantly in score wise though it can always be better. being through ups and downs, through msia, genting, and all the complaining tgt in sz car on the way home. ahhahs..those totally girl time with the driver being as ignorant as he can. hahahahs.
her bday's probably one gd opportunity to thank her for all the nonsense and aunty times tgt which i really enjoyed. hahas. w/o her in the bowling team now, i'm gg to be lonely. haha. but, sam's coming in. but i dun think it'll be the same though.
haiz.
anyway.
i wasted this morng. big time.
supposed to go ecp and swim. but it raineddd.
didn't go church, coz i thought i was gg qing ming jie with family but in the end, i was left on the bed, slping till 1.30pm. uselss bum.
so, it was left with trng to salvage the day. gloomy day. but ok. nice to train in. not nice to ride in.
then i went home and continue to waste the day, w/o doing projects or making time useful.
sis used my cpu to replace my mum's spoilt one. later, mum asked me come check her com why cannot go fb and all.
wah.
then ar. i see the desktop... so many files of mine man!!!!! like omg.
all the secret stuff and things-u-dont-want-ur-mum-to-see kinda files.
so i took the opportunity to delete all and empty the recycle bin asap, b4 she could enjoy any of my emo-ness by reading all the emo things that i've copy and pasted from my blog as a secretly caring mother.
HEING AR.
but then, i did it too fast, permanently deleting some of the sentimental stuff.
i found.. chat logs old old ones. like 2005 kind.
so, of course, i transferred them all to my thumbdrive and deleted from her desktop. anyways, tmr sis' gg to reformat her com. so i had to do this tonight. lucky mother asked me to check out her com.. if not, i would have discovered all these old sentimental files. and what's best is the desktop wallpaper is a picture of the sa bdiv boys playing rugby at farrer park during one of the matches. hah.
and of course, i opened the folders to search for ur email and clicked on those old chatlogs.
i found these...
ohhhhs. hah. and relatively, u weren't a very msn person compared to my friends. so chatting for u then was a pleasure. while scrolling and scrolling, and eventually ended up in speed reading, i found out lots of erm...rainbow, loveydovey stuff, quarrels content.
made me reflect alot. felt like a cause-effect investigation on how we ended up like that.
side track abit, mum came into the room and ask me... "how come when i type myfacebook.com it doesn't work?" hahhas. okok. continue.
yea. so as i was saying. i didn't finish reading through everything, not even one folder that belong to a month, coz it was damn long. but from what i've read, i realized 70% of the time, we're just thinking too much to get our ideas across. 1) we want to say what we feel 2) we dont want to let each other think too much.
like that.. how??
hahahs.
so, after july 2006, no more chat logs from that email any more.
seriously, forget it marian.
well, i am trying to, and becoming super successful in due time! (: (claps x10000000 times.)
so, to prove my point thatall guys can't really be trusted despite being how 'nice' and all those, here's the evidence.
ya ya. save me from all the 'but-that's-only-one-case' shits.
to me, if a guy that i've respected so much (has honestly, so much qualities as a person/leader) can't really keep promises, it really shows alot. yea, u can argue that when one's in the zone or like during a season or whatever u call it, one will just act accordingly or what. but seriously, as a whole, dont make promises u know u can't keep.
assurance is one thing.
promises is another.
yea. u can quote me on that so that i can be famous when i die.
not that i really take those words that was said to me very seriously or what la.
maybe i'm just being to anal and practical to be in a relationship that both parties can really enjoy.
u know what, forget it.
blabbing now's not gg to change anything, not that want to make any differences or what. maybe just create some awareness and personality checks for some? hah.
see. it's 2am now and time flies like shit. seriously, time flies from 1am-2am. and i hate it.
i could have an earlier sleeping time but all thanks to facebk and its non-educational-and-beneficial games.
facebook eats up hotmail, msn, webshots and everything.
twitter is becoming like an indepth micro extentsion of fb.
and happy birthday amandas.
i tried to think of ways to secretly celebrate for her. but couldn't come up with one that could surprise her and make it memorable. hahs.
i wanted to call up sz to arrange for smth.. but i figured that he'd probably be with her 24/7.. and if suay.. if in the car... amandas' gg to be the one to read the sms anyway. ahhas. so i didn't know how to go abt doing smth.
hahas. so i smsed her nice nice. (:
w/o her, i probably wouldn't be in SIM. thanks to her persistent ah ma bugging, literally dragging me to submit my application form in SIM. and eventually, in the bowling team which made me re-love bowling all over again. hahs.
and yea, probably last 2nd half the the yr was where we improved alot. not enough. but still significantly in score wise though it can always be better. being through ups and downs, through msia, genting, and all the complaining tgt in sz car on the way home. ahhahs..those totally girl time with the driver being as ignorant as he can. hahahahs.
her bday's probably one gd opportunity to thank her for all the nonsense and aunty times tgt which i really enjoyed. hahas. w/o her in the bowling team now, i'm gg to be lonely. haha. but, sam's coming in. but i dun think it'll be the same though.
haiz.
anyway.
i wasted this morng. big time.
supposed to go ecp and swim. but it raineddd.
didn't go church, coz i thought i was gg qing ming jie with family but in the end, i was left on the bed, slping till 1.30pm. uselss bum.
so, it was left with trng to salvage the day. gloomy day. but ok. nice to train in. not nice to ride in.
then i went home and continue to waste the day, w/o doing projects or making time useful.
sis used my cpu to replace my mum's spoilt one. later, mum asked me come check her com why cannot go fb and all.
wah.
then ar. i see the desktop... so many files of mine man!!!!! like omg.
all the secret stuff and things-u-dont-want-ur-mum-to-see kinda files.
so i took the opportunity to delete all and empty the recycle bin asap, b4 she could enjoy any of my emo-ness by reading all the emo things that i've copy and pasted from my blog as a secretly caring mother.
HEING AR.
but then, i did it too fast, permanently deleting some of the sentimental stuff.
i found.. chat logs old old ones. like 2005 kind.
so, of course, i transferred them all to my thumbdrive and deleted from her desktop. anyways, tmr sis' gg to reformat her com. so i had to do this tonight. lucky mother asked me to check out her com.. if not, i would have discovered all these old sentimental files. and what's best is the desktop wallpaper is a picture of the sa bdiv boys playing rugby at farrer park during one of the matches. hah.
and of course, i opened the folders to search for ur email and clicked on those old chatlogs.
i found these...
ohhhhs. hah. and relatively, u weren't a very msn person compared to my friends. so chatting for u then was a pleasure. while scrolling and scrolling, and eventually ended up in speed reading, i found out lots of erm...
made me reflect alot. felt like a cause-effect investigation on how we ended up like that.
side track abit, mum came into the room and ask me... "how come when i type myfacebook.com it doesn't work?" hahhas. okok. continue.
yea. so as i was saying. i didn't finish reading through everything, not even one folder that belong to a month, coz it was damn long. but from what i've read, i realized 70% of the time, we're just thinking too much to get our ideas across. 1) we want to say what we feel 2) we dont want to let each other think too much.
like that.. how??
hahahs.
so, after july 2006, no more chat logs from that email any more.
seriously, forget it marian.
well, i am trying to, and becoming super successful in due time! (: (claps x10000000 times.)
so, to prove my point that
ya ya. save me from all the 'but-that's-only-one-case' shits.
to me, if a guy that i've respected so much (has honestly, so much qualities as a person/leader) can't really keep promises, it really shows alot. yea, u can argue that when one's in the zone or like during a season or whatever u call it, one will just act accordingly or what. but seriously, as a whole, dont make promises u know u can't keep.
assurance is one thing.
promises is another.
yea. u can quote me on that so that i can be famous when i die.
not that i really take those words that was said to me very seriously or what la.
maybe i'm just being to anal and practical to be in a relationship that both parties can really enjoy.
u know what, forget it.
blabbing now's not gg to change anything, not that want to make any differences or what. maybe just create some awareness and personality checks for some? hah.
see. it's 2am now and time flies like shit. seriously, time flies from 1am-2am. and i hate it.
i could have an earlier sleeping time but all thanks to facebk and its non-educational-and-beneficial games.
facebook eats up hotmail, msn, webshots and everything.
twitter is becoming like an indepth micro extentsion of fb.
Sunday, April 04, 2010
pre-easter
sch in the morng.
then headed down for funtouch.
hahas. was fun seeing players i've not seen / played with for so long! (:
i learned some stuff abt myself.
u know, abt e centre link thing.. whereby i duno why coaches always feel that i'm better at centre though i feel that i'm super blur; and more composed and can perform better as a link.
for 2 days, i've played alongside with guys. and, i've scored in the middle just because i stepped in both occasions and some i got through, just that i wasn't fast enough to follow it through. both in super different scenarios with different players, but i did the same thing and in both times, no one gave chase coz they probably didn't expect it?- i duno.
maybe that's something i should start valuing myself for and not always keep thinking ohshitohshitohshit.
with that, just improve my vision and composure, everything should fall in. i hope.
maybe that's why ppl thinks i can perform in center.
'can peform' and 'perform' to me, its mutually exclusive. so what if u 'can perfom'.. in the end, if ur mental dont like u perform, u just don't perform.
ah what.
ok. this wk, is really impt for me.
next sat's osim and i'm really damn scared for some reason.
bah. dont think about it. just...
1) train hard
2) train well
3) no junk fd.
so, went to church for pre-easter bbq.
stupid photos.
sneek preview of my future.
so, during free time, i was playing the piano and guitar. and i realised, i've lost alot of touch on it! ): can't feel the music as much as i always can.
saw jeremy on the guit, sng on the drums and kev on the bass. honestly, they've improved so so so much since i've last heard them.
jeremy's suave man. i mean like, last time, i was able to do all those tricks for different songs. now, i realised i'm juststruggling to play properly. ):
this is bad.
the very sad thing: i thought royston's bday party's next wk. ):
then headed down for funtouch.
hahas. was fun seeing players i've not seen / played with for so long! (:
i learned some stuff abt myself.
u know, abt e centre link thing.. whereby i duno why coaches always feel that i'm better at centre though i feel that i'm super blur; and more composed and can perform better as a link.
for 2 days, i've played alongside with guys. and, i've scored in the middle just because i stepped in both occasions and some i got through, just that i wasn't fast enough to follow it through. both in super different scenarios with different players, but i did the same thing and in both times, no one gave chase coz they probably didn't expect it?- i duno.
maybe that's something i should start valuing myself for and not always keep thinking ohshitohshitohshit.
with that, just improve my vision and composure, everything should fall in. i hope.
maybe that's why ppl thinks i can perform in center.
'can peform' and 'perform' to me, its mutually exclusive. so what if u 'can perfom'.. in the end, if ur mental dont like u perform, u just don't perform.
ah what.
ok. this wk, is really impt for me.
next sat's osim and i'm really damn scared for some reason.
bah. dont think about it. just...
1) train hard
2) train well
3) no junk fd.
so, went to church for pre-easter bbq.
stupid photos.
sneek preview of my future.
so, during free time, i was playing the piano and guitar. and i realised, i've lost alot of touch on it! ): can't feel the music as much as i always can.
saw jeremy on the guit, sng on the drums and kev on the bass. honestly, they've improved so so so much since i've last heard them.
jeremy's suave man. i mean like, last time, i was able to do all those tricks for different songs. now, i realised i'm just
this is bad.
the very sad thing: i thought royston's bday party's next wk. ):
Saturday, April 03, 2010
gd ol friday
woke up at 2.30pm.
i watched 3 movies on channel 5 today.
1) Hunchback of Notre Dame
2) Ice Princess
(break)
3) Bruce Almighty
in all 3 movies, probably learnt a few lessons. hah.
the one that left me e deepest impression's probably Bruce Almighty.
seeing things in God's perspective.
somehow, the movie came in very timely.
interesting how God's being portrayed.
and the part abt how God doesn't control a person's free will to love Him or not after all that He's done;
and the part abt answering all the prayers.
today, i saw the evening sun and successfully did not procrastinate. (:
i went to run at the reservior, improving my timing of 5mins!
hahas.
next sat's OSIM. i'm trng hard now because i want to enjoy the race and not struggle with just completing it.
so ok, here's the big challenge: no unnecessary snacks till race day yes.
so. i was riding. got horned at the traffic light when it turned green.
I was looking up at e pitch black sky, decorating with at least 6 aeroplanes that flickered off colourful flashing lights... It really showed how busy Singapore ports are... And it really showed hope to some extent.
With e quietness of the night (minus e horng of e cars), little silver stars and those flashing lights and one bright moon, it was really beautiful. And again.. Feeling all girlyish and lonely, I wished that there was a friend (be it girl or guy) was there to appreciate this beauty with me. Awwwwww. Hahaha. So melancholic and dramatic huh!
i watched 3 movies on channel 5 today.
1) Hunchback of Notre Dame
2) Ice Princess
(break)
3) Bruce Almighty
in all 3 movies, probably learnt a few lessons. hah.
the one that left me e deepest impression's probably Bruce Almighty.
seeing things in God's perspective.
somehow, the movie came in very timely.
interesting how God's being portrayed.
and the part abt how God doesn't control a person's free will to love Him or not after all that He's done;
and the part abt answering all the prayers.
today, i saw the evening sun and successfully did not procrastinate. (:
i went to run at the reservior, improving my timing of 5mins!
hahas.
next sat's OSIM. i'm trng hard now because i want to enjoy the race and not struggle with just completing it.
so ok, here's the big challenge: no unnecessary snacks till race day yes.
so. i was riding. got horned at the traffic light when it turned green.
I was looking up at e pitch black sky, decorating with at least 6 aeroplanes that flickered off colourful flashing lights... It really showed how busy Singapore ports are... And it really showed hope to some extent.
With e quietness of the night (minus e horng of e cars), little silver stars and those flashing lights and one bright moon, it was really beautiful. And again.. Feeling all girlyish and lonely, I wished that there was a friend (be it girl or guy) was there to appreciate this beauty with me. Awwwwww. Hahaha. So melancholic and dramatic huh!
Friday, April 02, 2010
april fools
ahhas. wah. whole day tio bombed man.
submission today, last night, slpt at 530am.
then can't wake up for 830am lect, so went the 330pm one.
nads ar. tsk tsk.
she supposed to print the project... coz today's submssion
then call up and everything say what cannot print.
basket.
then april fool. ahhas
then lecturer also.
submission's 5.30pm.
he go say 4pm. basket. kee siaow one.
whole time in lecture was just playing april fools joke on each other with the double side tape. stupid but fun. at least i didn't really fall asleep deeply in lect. ahhaahas.
the on the way to tp, so wierd.
on pie passing bke there, rained heavily for like 400m.
then stop. and become all bright and sunny. like really rain, heavy rain kind man.
did fitness.
felt my right thigh got the gg to cramp feeling after the 1st set. how disappointing hahas.
haiz. project submissions really affecting trng perf! hah.
whole body aching man. my arms, back and legs.
TG(tmr)IF!
just reading xia xue's blog. abt her ROM. damn funny
"Love this awesome photo of Keith and Clarence (Lee, who is the best make up artist in sg). If you are lucky enough to know the two of them together they have the power to make you look fucking gorgeous!!! LOLOL
Just imagine if you are stuck on deserted island with both of them you'd have gorgeous island clothes (I am presuming Keith will sew banana leaves or something) and gorgeous mineral make up made of dried clams or something (I am presuming Clarence will know how).
You'd be the most gorgeous Lost babe! LOL I'm talking so much nonsense. You may argue that when trapped on a deserted island looks should be of low priority but that's coz you have not considered that
1) There might be a handsome island guy who might just be the love of your life...
2) When rescue team comes there might also be a media frenzy and you won't have time to make up/dress up before being interviewed."
i think she's damn funny. i like her coz she dares to be herself and is cool with things that ppl think that are unglam. hahas.
go here to read more. ahaahhaahs.
so . aprils fool. my plan to go back kc in full sch uni and test the prefects plus visit the tchrs backfired. had sch so cant.
so. being irritating, i changed my fb states to "in a relationship".
it's all in the name of utilizing april fools day to do some market research. HAH.
true enough, abt 50% of the respondents did not believe that i was in a relationship. HAHAH. not surprising. my sis' right and ulrica made a clever guess.
that's how powerful fb is. i mean like, "in a relationship", it has become such a generic understood(ed) statement that it's BGR. hahas.
haiz.
gg to crash for a gd undisturb sleep.
submission today, last night, slpt at 530am.
then can't wake up for 830am lect, so went the 330pm one.
nads ar. tsk tsk.
she supposed to print the project... coz today's submssion
then call up and everything say what cannot print.
basket.
then april fool. ahhas
then lecturer also.
submission's 5.30pm.
he go say 4pm. basket. kee siaow one.
whole time in lecture was just playing april fools joke on each other with the double side tape. stupid but fun. at least i didn't really fall asleep deeply in lect. ahhaahas.
the on the way to tp, so wierd.
on pie passing bke there, rained heavily for like 400m.
then stop. and become all bright and sunny. like really rain, heavy rain kind man.
did fitness.
felt my right thigh got the gg to cramp feeling after the 1st set. how disappointing hahas.
haiz. project submissions really affecting trng perf! hah.
whole body aching man. my arms, back and legs.
TG(tmr)IF!
just reading xia xue's blog. abt her ROM. damn funny
"Love this awesome photo of Keith and Clarence (Lee, who is the best make up artist in sg). If you are lucky enough to know the two of them together they have the power to make you look fucking gorgeous!!! LOLOL
Just imagine if you are stuck on deserted island with both of them you'd have gorgeous island clothes (I am presuming Keith will sew banana leaves or something) and gorgeous mineral make up made of dried clams or something (I am presuming Clarence will know how).
You'd be the most gorgeous Lost babe! LOL I'm talking so much nonsense. You may argue that when trapped on a deserted island looks should be of low priority but that's coz you have not considered that
1) There might be a handsome island guy who might just be the love of your life...
2) When rescue team comes there might also be a media frenzy and you won't have time to make up/dress up before being interviewed."
i think she's damn funny. i like her coz she dares to be herself and is cool with things that ppl think that are unglam. hahas.
go here to read more. ahaahhaahs.
so . aprils fool. my plan to go back kc in full sch uni and test the prefects plus visit the tchrs backfired. had sch so cant.
so. being irritating, i changed my fb states to "in a relationship".
it's all in the name of utilizing april fools day to do some market research. HAH.
true enough, abt 50% of the respondents did not believe that i was in a relationship. HAHAH. not surprising. my sis' right and ulrica made a clever guess.
that's how powerful fb is. i mean like, "in a relationship", it has become such a generic understood(ed) statement that it's BGR. hahas.
haiz.
gg to crash for a gd undisturb sleep.
Thursday, April 01, 2010
erhs.
ok. i'm sry.
i'm supposed to be choinging my IMC like now, but i'm just too caught up with my thoughts that i just need to pen them down.
guys.
hahas. what a topic at 2.17am.
all the while, i've always believed in one true one and that's it.
done.
i mean like..in e most direct terms, i take relationships seriously? i dont play. HAH. this means, with such a confidence in making my decisions,faltering is probably disastrous. like now.
then. what's bad abt that is that, i just dont dare to test water. more like, i think cannot seem to trust any more guys. it's probably near to the extreme that i can't trust any one guy. probably not even the closest guy friends around. sry.
the trust here refers to the all the stuff/committments/<3/heart in the relationship la, not abt friendship friendship. it's different.
its to a point whereby i'm not giving anyone chances. even those who's really like sincere, or like i'm really able to just click well with, i can't seem to lift off that white line. bah. not even giving myself chances.
i'm trying, but not really trying as hard as i could.
ok. so now, i'm lost in my whirpool of words, congrats. moving on to projects. just look at the time. 8.30am lecture awaits.
1) i need to settle God first in my life.
i just feel that without Him occupying the full core of me now, directions aren't clear and steady. its like, u dont have the assurance because its ur own decision rather that His.
i'm supposed to be choinging my IMC like now, but i'm just too caught up with my thoughts that i just need to pen them down.
guys.
hahas. what a topic at 2.17am.
all the while, i've always believed in one true one and that's it.
done.
i mean like..in e most direct terms, i take relationships seriously? i dont play. HAH. this means, with such a confidence in making my decisions,faltering is probably disastrous. like now.
then. what's bad abt that is that, i just dont dare to test water. more like, i think cannot seem to trust any more guys. it's probably near to the extreme that i can't trust any one guy. probably not even the closest guy friends around. sry.
the trust here refers to the all the stuff/committments/<3/heart in the relationship la, not abt friendship friendship. it's different.
its to a point whereby i'm not giving anyone chances. even those who's really like sincere, or like i'm really able to just click well with, i can't seem to lift off that white line. bah. not even giving myself chances.
i'm trying, but not really trying as hard as i could.
ok. so now, i'm lost in my whirpool of words, congrats. moving on to projects. just look at the time. 8.30am lecture awaits.
1) i need to settle God first in my life.
i just feel that without Him occupying the full core of me now, directions aren't clear and steady. its like, u dont have the assurance because its ur own decision rather that His.
winded
hah. apart from the total completion of Business Ethics (left the exams, which is only on chpt 3), nothing really happened today until trng.
trng was usual. but,
it was the first time i kena winded.
ahhas.
was doing tackling drills, the suddenly i got high tackled down with my head and back hitting the ground hard and thankfully, at the same time. i mean like, if it's either one, it'll be jia lat right. so when it's together, its evenly distributed. ahhahhas. i think. any how only. hahhas
but anyway, it was really an experience.
like when i was on the ground, flat on my back, i couldn't move.
coz i couldn't breathe at all. i rmbr, my back got stucked, which soon later, i realized that i wasn't breathing.
i tried to grasp for air or like say out loud that i can't breathe.. but i realized air couldn't come out to speak. wah. damn scared.
for a moment i thought i killed my internal system / back or whatever or like gg to die. AHHAHAHA. i think for abt 10sec which seemed like for a whole min that i wasn't breathing.
but gd thing is, coach was beside with a super calm face of totally knowing what's gg on. he helped me breathe slowly and steadily, while explaining to me abit abt getting 'winded'. hahhas. then ok alrdy.
ahahhahas. it's not a serious thing at all la. but the feeling is like.. wha. within that short frame of a few secs with ur air supply being cut off/ thinking that its ur final moments of ur 20 yr journey, ur brain thinks quite a fair bit of the unexpected.
nonetheless, at the back of my head (probably literally in this case), i really wished u were there to worry abt me.
eeehwwss. totally girlish and shitz, but yea, that was my unexpected and self-disappointing thought. i mean like, real possibility of u, there, at trng, was really possible.
but whatever.
gd that i'm clear of why i chose to join this club which i'm proud to say, has totally got nothing to do with u. :D all thumbs up for me pls.
so, Google yet again proved its worth...
(after googled, its aka. diaphragm spasm also.)
Nearly everyone has been winded at some point in their sporting career - it's never a nice experience - but how does it happen?
WHO CAN IT HAPPEN TO?
Anyone involved in contact or ball sports.
HOW DOES IT HAPPEN?
Usually by a blow to the abdomen. Think a football being blasted into you, but sometimes it can happen when you fall to the ground heavily.
WHAT HAPPENS TO MY BODY?
The technical name for being winded is to receive "a blunt trauma to the solar plexus".
These are the nerves behind the stomach.
The impact causes the pressure to change in the diaphragm, which is the large muscle which divides your stomach and abdomen from your heart and lungs.
The diaphragm goes into spasm and contracts painfully, making it hard for your lungs to breathe in and out.
Once the muscle stops cramping, you're able to catch your breath again.
TREATMENT?
Encourage the affected person to assume a crouching position so muscles can relax.
RETURN?
Within fifteen minutes unless there is a more serious problem with the abdominal and respiratory muscles.
Source: http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport2/low/health_and_fitness/4275414.stm
trng was usual. but,
it was the first time i kena winded.
ahhas.
was doing tackling drills, the suddenly i got high tackled down with my head and back hitting the ground hard and thankfully, at the same time. i mean like, if it's either one, it'll be jia lat right. so when it's together, its evenly distributed. ahhahhas. i think. any how only. hahhas
but anyway, it was really an experience.
like when i was on the ground, flat on my back, i couldn't move.
coz i couldn't breathe at all. i rmbr, my back got stucked, which soon later, i realized that i wasn't breathing.
i tried to grasp for air or like say out loud that i can't breathe.. but i realized air couldn't come out to speak. wah. damn scared.
for a moment i thought i killed my internal system / back or whatever or like gg to die. AHHAHAHA. i think for abt 10sec which seemed like for a whole min that i wasn't breathing.
but gd thing is, coach was beside with a super calm face of totally knowing what's gg on. he helped me breathe slowly and steadily, while explaining to me abit abt getting 'winded'. hahhas. then ok alrdy.
ahahhahas. it's not a serious thing at all la. but the feeling is like.. wha. within that short frame of a few secs with ur air supply being cut off/ thinking that its ur final moments of ur 20 yr journey, ur brain thinks quite a fair bit of the unexpected.
nonetheless, at the back of my head (probably literally in this case), i really wished u were there to worry abt me.
eeehwwss. totally girlish and shitz, but yea, that was my unexpected and self-disappointing thought. i mean like, real possibility of u, there, at trng, was really possible.
but whatever.
gd that i'm clear of why i chose to join this club which i'm proud to say, has totally got nothing to do with u. :D all thumbs up for me pls.
so, Google yet again proved its worth...
(after googled, its aka. diaphragm spasm also.)
Nearly everyone has been winded at some point in their sporting career - it's never a nice experience - but how does it happen?
WHO CAN IT HAPPEN TO?
Anyone involved in contact or ball sports.
HOW DOES IT HAPPEN?
Usually by a blow to the abdomen. Think a football being blasted into you, but sometimes it can happen when you fall to the ground heavily.
WHAT HAPPENS TO MY BODY?
The technical name for being winded is to receive "a blunt trauma to the solar plexus".
These are the nerves behind the stomach.
The impact causes the pressure to change in the diaphragm, which is the large muscle which divides your stomach and abdomen from your heart and lungs.
The diaphragm goes into spasm and contracts painfully, making it hard for your lungs to breathe in and out.
Once the muscle stops cramping, you're able to catch your breath again.
TREATMENT?
Encourage the affected person to assume a crouching position so muscles can relax.
RETURN?
Within fifteen minutes unless there is a more serious problem with the abdominal and respiratory muscles.
Source: http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport2/low/health_and_fitness/4275414.stm
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