keep goin.

whoots. thurs slept at 5am. woke up at 7pm.
do projects. do and do. till friday morng.

10am submission.
after that, cabbed home. bathed and change to presentation clothes and go back sch for presentation at 12pm.

thurs night was fun with dallas tiffy and jamin. sang songs across the table. played with sparklers for 2mins or so. haha. coz it was IMC. so jamin and i.. whole day on photoshop and stuff. 2 business students hardcore-ly using photoshop in business sch. noted.


ups and downs.


today. afer lunch. went home to SLEEP. 3 days w/o proper slp. ulrica had a hard time calling me up literally. ahha. but i managed to get out of the house eventualylly to Elaine's surprise.


she'e leaving to further her studies in Australia in Medicine. FOUR YEARS.
(: for her. ): coz we'll all miss her.


so here are the photos of the recent days.

last trng in TPiranha.

projects. 10pm 12am 2am 4am MACDONALDS. 6am. shucks. 2 hrs more to print. 8am. 9am RUSH. 10am done. whoots.

elaine's farewell.
ahhaa. linked to her medical studies.


more photos at my mulitply and fb.

but. i'm really physically tired.
tmr. 9am at the field.
first training i guess.

back.

so its back to projects again.

hahas.



amazing how like the day b4 submission.. TP contact list on MSN reads like 35/66 online at around 3 4 am hahahs. rocks.

we're supposed to bring cny snacks today. only gab and i got conned into bringing it luh! hahas.

but today. i felt abit lazy and stupid. played fb word challenge whole day in out. do is got do luh.. but can be much much better pls.

ah. complain. ah.



i love my sch.
i think though we're like mentally going insane and physically dying, we're enjoying ourselves in a way. that for our grp luh. so yea.

ahhas. i think tmr will be the LAST NIGHT of projects. tmr one submission. fri one more submission and presentation. next week is countless presentations and test ok.


tmr's also the LAST trng for the seniors as a current TPiranha. lots to say abt it. but projects first!


ok . yea. will miss tp. ahhas

chu er.

honestly, i reallly dreaded going to sch for projects today. i mean like. everyone's got their family stuff to do, including myself.
so today's meeting could have actually been avoided. never ever meet for the sake of meeting. seriously.

gd thing today is that jas and i met up for macs breakfast. big breakfast and hotcakes. hahas. shioks. gd to start the day off.


so here's the ppl. merging with jasmine and jeremy.

vonn's sick! ): really sad to be sick on cny. ): pray for her.

obviously. sch was quiet.

so here's mother poon in action. she's been like in the kitchen forever to whipp up the stuff. since last night 12am-4.30am... to do the seasoning... and probably in the afternoon till evening time today.
she cooked one of dad's fav dish also- Babi Ponteh. HAHAHAHHAHAHAH. sounds familiar? yeah. peranakan dish. ahhas. i think that show has indeed affected some of singapore's citizens.

and the ppl...
the old folks are acutually my uncles. and the medium old folks are my cousins. HAH. coz my mum's like the youngest sis and stuff like that. eldest bro is like 72 (i think) now.. long long story. some died. some given away and stuff like that. so yea, i'm actually like ur mother's generation. hah.









i miss my adventure kaki. one come back from SIP, one leaves for it. tsk tsk.

part 2

hmmm.
went to 2 uncles' place today.

to put it nicely,
i played cards with money today.
haha. was winning. and ended up loosing.
its a traditional thing in the family that we play cards. hahas.


i think we should just feedback to not have submissions the day after CNY. its like... students have to decide whether to be a filial son/daughter or be a good student- to do visitation or project grp meeting.

today, i actually brought my thumbdrive to my uncle's place, hoping to so SM slides.. hahas. like omg. i'm sure its BAI FANG man. hahas. well, i did do like one slide before dinner. hahahs.

LOI HEI

HAPPY CNY! (:

first ride.

slept till 2pm today.

skipped dance for church today.

today's the first for the Creative Arts Ministry in COA.
had fun during dance ministry. ahahs.
elaine rocks. we learnt some harlem wave thingy, and like... baby freeze. HAHAH. was so hilarious looking at everyone falling over. hahhas.

abit sad that i miss the band ministry.
but yea. still got to pray more abt it.

saw some u-35 rugby match (ri vs sa) at sa.
nice to see ppl from all walks of life playing the same sport.


ahha. then back at church, saw marcus, nicky and fabian jammed. zai. didn't know such hidden talents. hhahas. marcus and nicky are twins. so when i see them play.. i think of Jonas Brothers. AHHA. one bass one electric.


anyway..after that.. i tried riding jeric's bike. motorbike. hahas. my first time. HAHAHHAHS. omgs. scary. coz it was heavy. but! i manged to ride a few circles around the basketball court. hahahhahhas. like gear 2 then turn the trottle abit. ahahhs. was so scared that i accelerate like mad. hahahahs. but was neutral gear when kaide tried to scare me. hahhas.

then then.. i tried to get off the bike. ahhahs. couldn't balance.. then fell on one side with the bike trying to crush me. head to the floor. ahahhhahhahs. not injured or whatever, almost died of laughter. hahahs. was so clumsy luh... thinking that the bike would be like my beloved bicycle. lucky jeric's bike was still gd.


hahhaahhhaas.


so yea. my first ride. my first minor fall.
i couldn't reach the floor man. and i heard the bikes at Ubi are like bigger. and their oil tanks are infront so there's no way i can cheat myself out of it. i forsee myself failing my first practical like 5 times. even if i do well, i'm sure the instructor will make me fail and practice my basics.



so. the time is 4.53am. i must be crazy. got time dun sleep. i was doing a recording.. 'at the foot of the cross'. tried to do it better. 5 layers. hahas. guitar & vocal, harmony, 2 violin and piano. just completeted it. not bad. but need to improve my timing alot and vocal still suck. ahhas. the harmony is just to cover the bad vocals. hahahahs. i think i hear the song like more than 70 times alrdy. ahahs. quite sick of the song for now. hahahas.




okok. HAPPY NEW YEAR FOLKS. (:
gd food awaits me.
projects are on hold for today. but not for long. hahahs.
enjoy urself for now k! hhahas. pia soon after.

my dome.

submitted strategice marketing today.

happy.


after lunch, weather was like.. suddenly hot.
everyone tired. couldn't do work. so since its a friday, we decided to take a break b4 cny. 3pm, we went home.
record time.


i set up all my instruments except for the electric guit. ): hahs.
play until fell asleep.
woke up, cooked, ate dinner and continued. hahas.

i enjoyed myself though i didn't accomplish what i wanted. i wanted to do a whole song "at the foot of the cross". ahhas. but the vocals sucked. 5 clips.
guit. vocals. backup vocal. violin. piano.

wanted to be adventurous and add the drums using the keyboard but cannot make it.
ahahs. final product- bad. becauses i did the recordings diffferently from how i usually do it. so yea.

nap!

my whole perspective of guys have changed.

i hate guys.
not that i love girls.


but. i love God's creation in total.


friendly with sg American sch. 5-0 1-0 0-0. haha.
was playing centre and wings. had fun.
(:


i think i'm enjoying the whole company of marketing students outside LT. we can take over the guards.


SM project due.
need my 30mins nap. bye.

none.

on the way home, i told jamin that i felt like cabbing to pasir ris and just sit at the break waters. that would be a total waste of cab fare to and fro to just be emo.
hahs.


took a very slow walk home.
blast myself with songs from the album "all the above"


can't thinking through.. kept thinking and thinking..how i really missed the times so so badly. where i had someone to just turn to for whatever and every reason. i almost cried b4 telling myself.. siao arh. reaching home already... mum see then anyhow think. so i spent the time pushing my thoughts aside.


i just feel such a failure.
lost the drive.
filled with hurt.
dont know why also.






it's probably just one of those girly days. tsk tsk.


took this photo sometime back.





Casted in hurt,
wrapped with pain.
taped with flashes,
gushed with rain.


my faint mind's,
going a constant run.
forever trying,
to find that yellow sun.


twisted veins,
broken panes.
vacuumed heart,
not back in sane.


written letters,
torn papers.
hidden messages,
never in batches.


the love for you,
as vast as the milky way.
the sky an understatement,
my mind with u all day.


back paddling,
wanting to turn back time.
forever crawling,
it will never rhyme.


the smile on my face,
just another veil.
but what i'm trying to do,
is really to be real.


real to myself,
coz i owe u none.
not even anyone around,
maybe it's just a pun.


sometimes what i hope for,
is to hold your hand.
to soak in your warmth,
but now it's so blend.


never will i dare,
to ask for anything more,
perhaps its just the happy past,
that makes me sore.


i am utterly undeserving,
to be by your side.
but for now i know,
someone else will be the happy bride.


how gracious
i think i am,
being this by stander,
across this wide rushing dam.


cold blowing winds,
bright lited stars.
cold throbbing heart,
melting with the scars.


our short sharp good-byes,
never spoken clear.
i really just want to,
erase all these fear.







Never really want to get back the relationship,
just very sad that i've lost one of the bestest friendship.

All the Above.

lum nua.

still in sch doing projects. feeling very listless.
hearing the album "all the Above". the strongest album ever. its my running album. whenever i listen to the songs, i just want to close my eyes and soak myself in God's awesomeness.

during this project periods... honestly, have been distant from God. i keep giving myself excues that i'm too tired to just give up time for the Lord. i'm really glad to have found my Bible ytd, in the corner of my room, filled with webs and mould. eeks. but i just like it. thank you.

i dunoo if the time of appearance of the Bible is like a msg. but i know its no co-incidence.


one thing today.
jeric picked me up from sch to Ubi to meet jovin to make the full registration for class 2b. (: its my first time sitting behind a bike. ahha. at first... was scary. but then again, was fun. not that scary after all. ahhah just like biking with motor.
yea. new bike gang.





emptyness is what i feel now. i know this is against one of my few unknown ny resolutions.... but i want to say ... i miss youuuu.
blaah. dont get me wrong. i'm just emo-ing. can't be practical abt the heart. i dont want to feel as if i need u to feel complete... but seriously, i just hope that my prayers for u to be well and happy will just fill this void because i know that God answers prayers when asked.






kill me now.



i want to be close with God.
i want God to be in the centre.
i feel so empty without Him.
Your love is sufficient for everything.

better.

test was easy. so expected. this is what u get in poly. u go for lecture, u get it.

estee adn von wore the same thing today w/o an plan to do it. was quite funny. its been a long time also since we've seen gab in contacts and carrying a bag. he nv carries one to sch.



enjoyed sm tutorial today. mr. stephen lee's story rocks. takes us back to 1965 and so on. haha. zhaoming's funny man.


then our grp did sports today. i went for trng while the rest went joggin! (: hahas.
fun touch today was like. 2v1. then 3v3. then 4v4. then i left for grp project at 8pm. like syai and i were talking... issit better to be good or committed. haha. what a questions. very different takes on it.


then went home at 11pm today.
it'll be like that for now.

press on. we can do it.
must do it nice.

down.

super tired.

KO-ed at 3am. cabbed to sch at 8am to continue doing projects. did projects furing lecture.

then. 12pm submission. went to print at 11.47pm. long quene. so handed in at 12.15pm. late. i thought maybe 10% will not be that bad..

after submission, 30mins to do slides.
presentation at 1pm.
b4 presentation,
ms. ng told us abt us being late and stuff. 20%. my heart sank man.
i was like. omg. ok. thank God i managed to put that aside and just enjoy the presentation. after the presentation.. then was damn sad.


its like. we've been working like mad. and just because i had to do the formatting till near perfect, i was late. then everyone suffers the 20% as a grp. and i really had a gd feeling abt this project coz i know that it is well done. like what jamin said.. should have done lousier. hahas. coz 20% of a lousy score will not be that bad of a higher one.

then i was really holding back my tears man. duno why so agitated. its like.. "bu gan xin" max luh. then jere thong walked pass.. i went to him... then cry. haha. crazy.


anyway.



we went to sakae to eat and just have a good proper meal.
enjoyed myself. ahahhs. buffet. we made our money's worth
when i was like on my 3rd plate or smth. .gabriel alreaady break even. ahahha.



there was acutally more plate.. but the guy just had to take away some. ahhas.



haven't really study imc yet. tmr's the test. super sleepy now.

budgeting.

after church, went to sch. it was amazingly crowded. on a sunday. hah.
left sch at 11.50pm today.


whole day did budgeting.
whole grp is super effective today. ahaha. i think coz submission's tmr.
but budgeting can die. i think need at least 2 person to do, if not die.
thank God for gab.

around 1030.. mkting students still coming to sch. probably to just stay in sch and go for 9am lecture tmr. i think we've got one of the worst timetables.
monday- 9-11am lecture. 12pm submission. 1pm presentation. like.. hoho.


abit worried for jas' grp. her situation's that she's all alone now. :/

updates.

hi.

been really stuffed with projects.


must blog this. on thurs night, Jasmine and i stayed tii 7.20AM to do projects. hardcore man. started from like 12pm. all the meals were there. haha. like wth. 0 life. from around 6-12am... it was like... facebook and research. coz really buay tahan. until i drank Chicken Essence that nic's mum provided. used my laptop vent to heat it up. HAH. it works big time. then from 12-7am onwards, HARDCORE. super focused. excellent.

from jasmine's.

strong winds. cold and hungry. smelly from the short fun Touch, in FBT shorts and not wind-breakable TP jacket.

ok. cabbed home. rushed back to sch for a 9am tutorial.
whole day.. seh. ahhahs. budgeting for entreprenuership and stuff.

supposed to go for ben's 21st bday. wasn't feeling too well. had the i-know-i'm-gg-to-fall-sick feeling. not that feverish.. just knew that if i dont get enough rest, my immune system will slack and make me sick.



so. today.
845am in sch again. for entreprenuership talk- forum.
i like mr. ivan lee's speech best...he' really practional and logical. excellent speaker. he's like the CEO of may food restaurants in sg. like.. Thai Express, Onyx Concept Restaurant, Pin Le, Xin Wang Hong Kong Cafe, New York New York. should hear his whole story. super funny.. he was like a rebel when he was young and stuff... his take on studies: "min effort, maxmium results". hahs. somemore..."good thing about sch is that.. u look for ppl to work for u in the future"- he says that when u have gt ur network, and know who's got the best skills for the job, hire them. control them. in NUS, he didn't study at all. didn't even turn up for lecutures and tutrials. 2wks b4 e exam, he'd make friends with all the 'geeks' in sch (he defined geek damn funnny-ily) and called them up. they are ppl who can condense a whole 3yr course into some point forms. AHHAHHA. and so on. he bought the textbk the day before the exam... and b4 u know it, he's on the Dean's list and didn't even know what was that. HAHAHh. and the list goes on. very funny guy. haoming and i totally agree that lionel is a total example of him. should have wrote a whole long list of quotes from him. makes me wanna be an entrepreneur.

went to eat Katong laksa with haoming and some of his classmates. was fun. ahha. then went to velocity to collect my sg zoo race pack. the shirt's nice. but not suitable for running. i want to shop at velocity soon. suan and dicksonw should be interested.. so many outdoor sports stuff!

so. had to chooose between 4 parties. (didn't expect that my social life needed priortizing as well... )
- nigel's 21st.
- sixiu's 20th
- steph's 21st (dance)
- my annual KC familiy gathering

decided on nigel's one coz it his 21st and we've been through quite a year and so on. not really close to steph. happy bday sixiu! couldn't be there. ):
and.. abit sad that i missed the family gathering. i miss sara and geraldyne, elizabeth, shoo and abigail. miss the girls.

but i did have my part of fun. (: kim's an excellent planner. i told her that if i'm a guy, i'd want her. ahha. seriously, she is so darn nice. nice is just really an understatement.

the surprise went well. bummer nigel made us change the plans here and there because he wanted to go home to shit and didn't and so on. AHHAHHA. but it went well and i'm sure he did had great fun. hahahahs.





(:





so today's rest day is OVER.

tmr, its back at the projects after Service. then, TEST on TUE. how rockin can this get. the thing is, i enjoy the time spent with my grp mates. joelle's patient enough to tolerate anything even when times i can be super stubborn. estee's just funny ok. HAHA. i love to be with her. HAHAHA. she just makes our days with her estee-reactions. HAHHAAH. noted. yvonne is the sweet girl. ahhas. new swimming partner uh? ahahahs. i'm always so impressed by how she dresses and present herself. the 80c vest looks like a $30 top on her. rocks. she's too cool already. gab is our percussionist who can't stop tapping his fingers on the table and so on. and jamin is also our creative person who adds on the colour to our grp. in all, i think we kinda complement each other. i wouldn't say it is as technically strong as how we were with tiffy and royston, but i must say that we're able to work and have fun and really just PBL together. HAHA.
omg.
yea.



i have yet to set my 2009 resolutions. ahhas. but i've mentioned here b4 that one of my main on is to put unpleasant past behind and move on. ppl who's not gg to return, will not return, be it physically or just situationally if that counts. HAH. one thing i felt a little happy is we finally randomly communicated for a bit (since 2007 mission trip) in the name of nigel's surprise.. i think its super cheap thrill for me, but i smiled inside. omg. haha. i feel pathetic. but yea. i still do want to clarify things up. i dont think anytime in the near furture is ever gonna be the right time. i'm gg to wait for you. not for anything else, but just to clarify some uncertainty that i really cant figure out.. i wish u well in ur upcoming tests and really push hard for your A's. haha.


i think i'm good. haha. POWERPOOOOOOON

Situation Analysis.

i'm like still in school now. feel like a bunch of nerds. or maybe just delinquents that can't be self-disciplined enough to study at home and not succumbing to thy slumber.


the weather is super cold nowadays. i've been sleeping w/o the aircond for like a month already. usually i'll open the window and leave the fan on. last night, i didn't even switch the fan on. and i was COLD. now, as i'm outside LT 21 typing this, its super cold. i feel super smelly.


SWOT the darn PEST man.
if u get what i mean.



i feel super lousy now adays. can't seem to trust the points that i contribute for the reports and even my IJs. when i come out with some statement, i seem to try and validate it like mad. then, i do things super slow. u know i've spent literally the whole day trying to do up GMIJ then IMP. i put GMIJ on hold, focusing on IMP first. now, i can't even seem to say the right things. i think i'm too spoon-fed. i want the right answers. and in PBL. there's no right or wrong. its how good, or how bad.
aiya.



God, make me smarter. hahas.
i miss you God. i'm sorry for being BRB now.

gone wrong.

many things gone wrong today. lets start after lecture.


ok. after lecture, there was no one! haoming and all had tutorial. estee is sick at home. hakim is no where to be found. joelle not here. its not that i feel lonely or wad. but like.. wierd to have no one to talk abt what's next. ahhas. BUT. thank God, i saw YVONNE! (: coz yvonne jas joelle and i planned to go for swimming today. to just chill yow, in the mist of all the projects craze.


swimming was gd.
nice to be in the sun again.
like chill. haven't swam for like 4months?! when i swam my first 2 laps. i was like. omg. need to train.


so yea. after that. we decided to challenge ourselves to eat engine school. i thought maybe ppl were just exaggerating that the food was bad. but it was really bad.



for clearer view, click on it, and zoom in. its like insect legs found in my soup pls. then, there' slike hair on my fried egg.



so after that, back to projects.
found out that i didn't bring my mouse n thumbdrive.. felt so lost and distracted. went home all the way to get them. 1hr. jammed. peak hour. like omg. TSK TSK.

haha. quite funny. at home, mum showed me this.
u know what is this?

ok. there's been ants in my house recently. and my house is always super cleaned and well maintain by my neat-freak mum. today, at the back of this snack jar, she found more ants.. and THIS. a totally-swiped-out-by-ants lolipop. it was like opened on the top.. its like they bite it open or smth... like cool man. haha. the power of the ants. they must have been mulitplying in numbers, finishing a whole darn lolipop like that.

yea. then went back sch. more projects. yea. and fly flew into my eye. whats with insects and me these days. everywhere.


tried to do GMIJ. but cant. SUCKS. cant find info for it and iriver. sucks man.

stayed on till like 11pm with jasmine. almost wanted to stay over in school. how cool. so when i'm online, i'm doing projects. when i'm offline, i'm travelling.




press on folks.
crash on harder.

train

went to train today. had fun. (: been long since we all had plain fun.
(: kim's good at upload photos.

mad wkend.

hopes to do finish more by this wkday.
what broken english.

met up for supper with j & j. hahaa.s (: owed them one. hahas
had a gd time. (: bak chor meee.. i'm putting on weight each day. ):



been seeing alot of GGR in sch recently. not sure if i'm even affected adversely by it. i hope not. i dont think i'm at a stage where i can call it a struggle, but if i'm not rooted with the Word, i think i'm gone.




estee is sick. ): pray for her.. she left sch early man. been vomitting and stuff.

loser.

omg. i feel like a big loser.


hahah. ok. maybe not that extreme.
i'm bloggin in sch now. waiting for my grp mates to come.


i reached home at 7pm today. not a time that i'd usually get to see on the clock of my house.

so. i intented to either run/ climb stairs to prepare for feb's race at around 8.30pm. so i wanted to take a nap.


and i slept.



till 10pm.



omg. nvm.
then i bathe, at dinner at 10pm. then, i put my bowl at ths side to nua and lie down. and sleep. then.. sleep till this morning 10pm.
like omg.





so i did ZERO work last night.
woke up, felt like a big loser.





these 2 wks. i've been so tired even though i've not been physically doing running and stuff like that. i think that's the problem. i think sports keeps me awake, sane and alive. i need to train.

cockroach

EHHHHHS.


just as i was about to THINK of having a good night's sleep,
a GIANT cockroach flew infront of me. like. EHEWWWWS.

big enough to hear a super shriekly girly voice out from me in the dark night.
unpleasant.

i dont like things that are alive to be in my room. anywhere else but toliets and rooms. looks like i'm gg to sleep in the hall tonight.

eh.

ok.church. projects. home.

did a few recordings today. (:


today, 3 ppl approached me to do ppt. i rejected but they still want me to do it.
i really hope that God will let them feel how i am doing in school right now with all the projects.

147

i waited for like 40mins for 147. wanted to go church to meet them for dinner or smth.




got kinda fed-up since netball already ended. so decided to go home. as i wallked to the other bus stop to take 33, i missed it. its like. ok to that.
so i in the end, i waited another 20mins or so for the bus. thus, i waited at the bus stop from 6.03pm- 7.10pm. how awesome.


psp no batt.
thanks man.


went home. finally got time to play abit of the violin.


oh yea. gd thing today, i bought 2 eastgear batts for my camera.
spent time thinkg abt stuff today.
i'd never ask for anything in return if i'm all out to help someone. somehow or rather, reflecting on 2008, i was helping ppl alot. i dont ask for anything in return, but then, i feel so tired that i jsut want to-give up. and all these, it kills my passion for photography. i dont how to put it. i mean like.. i'm really willing to help and shoot. but sometimes, it just reaches it and its not something that anyone can control. maybe i'm just seeking some understanding? appreciation or smth? then when ppl dont ask for help, i doubt myselt. its like. what you want marian. hahs. maybe i've just lost my heart.



wkend ends. projects resume mega-ly again.

TP alumni nite

last night. same thing. rushed IJ for submission.

oh yea. signed up for class 2b today. coz it was 30% off for registration.




tp alumni nite at fort canning.
toook many photos all over. didn't use my camera much. most of it is sam's and fiona's and the vc ppl.

enjoyed playing with the fake gun. hhahs. supposedly used as prop.



((:

pro.jects.

somtimes i feel like i'm too afraid to make mistakes. then i dont try.
for my IJs, i realised that for every sentence, i need assurance that its not like fiction. then i go do my research. so since this is a 6-pged IJ, i'm spending too much time already. kill me pls.


ivp photos up on mulitply. (pls click the link on the right)
but. can't find time to properly go do nice nice to put into my nice nice album.


i really thank God for giving me Estee Joelle Vonne Jamin Gabriel.

one big happy family huh. drawn by yvonne with estee's calsberg shirt. HAHAHAHHAAHAHA.


sometimes i think i depend too much on the group and especially joelle to do the ground work then i add on. i want to take ownership, more. in yr 1, i did just that, and it just wasn't the right formula. it was a flop. i think it was a bad turning pt in my life also.

in fact, ithink yr 1 is the more screwed of all. things happen to just alter the course of a positively growing kid to a negatively skewed one.



i need God more.
i need myself more.

the last

so last game. won. 7-1. but it wasn't enough overall.
i msged the girls to play their hearts out.. just like how asri msged me for my last game during Singapore Open. hope they had a great time.

haha. was funny how i went to SP. i took 166 from sim lim after field work... i stopped in the middle of this loong fence.. then sp's sch cleaner saw me... so i asked her how do i get it... she brought me to this hole somewhere in the middle of the fence. was funny. i creeped through the small opening, caught in shrubs and leaves, just like a fugitive. hHHHHAHA.

the. i spent 20mins fast paced, to find the field. ahahs
felt that i was playing amazing race.




anyway.
i'm going to miss TPiranhas. yes, i've doubt my decisions, in missing touch trainings for bowling trngs which i had to because of the sort of a promise. the girls bowling team would understand that it is pointless gg for bowling trng anyways.. (ahah.we all know why.) but yea. had to just keep that promise.


i wanna do a course in NTU. so if i were to go into the sch using bowling, i think it'll be just like that. so, i really gotta think properly. but after all, i still need to be in the school right. tsk tsk.



my battery died today b4 getting to shoot belle play volleyball. my battery life's dying. i charged it ytd and died today. tsk tsk. need to buy 2 more batts.

i'm going to miss the seniors alot.
though i'm not like really close to them in a out-of-touch way, but we've been through alot as a team. very ups and very downs. of course, i'm going to miss the juniors alot. just hope that things will change and everyone will start being more aggressive, hungry, and discipline for the gold after this yr's nightmare. i really hope its a wake up call not for just the players, but for the whole team.
i guess if u dont feel anything at all that we didn't make it to the semis, i think u should not come for trng anymore. like seriously.

i dun think i'll fully comprehen how our seniors seniors would feel knowing and watching this whole episode. but for sure, its more than just the negative emotions. i'm sure they'd like chionged down to the field and start attacking or defending or even murder the refrees. hah. ok. that's extreme.

but whatever it is. i'm sure most of them have given in their best. sometimes things just dont go the way we'd liked it to be. but any oh hows, we learn.





lets not talka bout this now.




for now, projects. super tired, screwed up bio clock.
cannot afford to procrastinate and wait now.

robin.

today was the important match with NUS. needed to draw or win to proceed.
things didn't happen the way we liked it to be.

):

i think we're all v v sad because looking at the fixtures, i have to say that.. we're not gg to be able to make it to the semis. that's very very sad and disappointing. well, i'm sure the girls have kept it strong, but not strong as a team enough to win it. i hope for the next season, everyone will wake up and start being mean on the field. mean to get things done. mean to be urgent.

heads up. one more game left. play hard.
we've gone through alot, came a long way.
play ur hearts out tmr yea.



i had tutorial from 4-6pm today and left at 4.15pm. thank God that mr. lee's understanding enough.
but. after shooting till 1st half, battery DIED. no spare. ): so yea. no shots. ):

murphy's law huh.
tmr SMIJ submission. gonna start doing later.

subs

SIP report submisison.

enough to kill the whole dioploma as timetable is not freindly. 9am lects.
estee and i pon lecture today because to submit my report.
haha.


we won today. (: 8-1 felt good upon hearing the good news.
pray for belle. i think she's damn zai. 630pm-730pm Touch Ivp. 8pm- Volleyball IVP.
hope her ankle's ok.



gd thing, i reached home at 5pm today.
bad thing, instead of doing projects, i played my violin and the game that jamin intro me. hmm.
tsk tsk.

MY violin. (:

YAY. i got a violin today! hahas. (: full size yow. the one selene gave me was 3/4. slightly harder to play, but sounds much better. my budget was $300. but then with the gst and all the other miscallaneous stuff.. became like $400-ish. paid the remaining with cash.

thanks to Peter who helped in the technical bit. and nigel for comments. after that, went to peter's house and view his instruements galore once again.

if anyone happen to see a mini size guzhen, tell me man. i want one. ahhas. i think its a nice instrument.



i took loong. so missed jeric's bday lunch. hahas.



congrats to Adonai soccer guys for getting the champions. not an easy one.

may the netball girls achieve smth again this yr. hhas.




took this on the way home.

one of the rare few photographic shots. havent been shooting.


was quite funny. was too lazy and tired to plan my route home from pasir ris. so just took 53 from pasir ris to kovan there.. then took 25 back. that was like dumb. 1.5hrs. but i had s short nap. coz like if i'd to take 17.. gotta go somewhere to take it and it taks super long to get from the east, to the east. so yea.







super super super sleepy. come on marian. its just tmr!

zai kia.

from 12am till 6am.
from 2 pgs to 26 pages (of a limit of 15)
(haha. also because i included my marketing report that i did during SIPwhich had orginally 18pgs hahahas.)


CLAPS PLS. hhhaha. ((:

yay. can go out later abit tmr.
but there's till quite alot more to settle.



well done marian.
u desrve an oreo mcflurry b4 reaching home tmr. (: hahahs. oh boy.

constipated.

abit shocked. sad. wasted. i hope we'll fight back next week, like seriously. i guess today was really a lost in the mental game, in additional of many many other factors that were very much against us. we're marked as the underdogs. like forever. so basically, when the REFS ASKED for the sideline supporters for opinions (good griefs!).. they were obviously not in our favour.
may scores were VOID, just because the main ref did not see. and when he asked his side ref (at the other far end) for clearance.... (obviously being bugged by the spectators) our scores weren't counted.

and btw, ON the field, DURING the game, when he was being opposed of his call by the opponent, he RETRACTED his call and APOLOGISED to the players on the field quickly, adhering to the players. omg. its like. self ref already pls.

i mean ya la. the refs are new. they're like gaining experience... so ok, fine, make mistakes.. but hello. i think IVP should not be taken so lightly. it's not the refs fault in a way. is just that, i dont think anyone can understand why refreeing of IVP can't be like more experience refs.

really like wth.

i guess thats when we went down on the mental game. 1st half. 2-0, against us. that was.... already hard to swallow. then little mistakes here and there. plus the LOUD AUDIBLE count down that the spectators were couting b4 the last 10 secs of the game to delcare that tp actually lost.

ok la. we did have a fair share of our mistakes. from the grandstand, it was very very obvious that we had slow turnover and reaction. that was v major. even the ppl who dont know anything about the game rules and stuff asked why is tp like.. slow. its the urgency thing again luh k. so the score was totally like a 4-1 (to them) when we won them 9-1 in the last season. so looking at our defence policy, personally, i pointed out my concern during our last debreifing session alrdy. and the feedback i got was that... to carry out the policy, it also meant that everyone got to work extra harder to cover. but it didn't work out because of communication breakdown today. for attack, the opponent exploited the gaps more than us. they were really running hard to gaps while we're just trying to do moves w/o using the gaps enough.


aiya. depressing luh. so its like. constipated emotion. just cannot believe all this is happening. i really hope that not all hope is lost ok. there's several mores games. recover fast. move on fast. heads up. like we've all agreed... the team who wins is not much about technical skills already because we know we can, but is the team who wants is more.


i really want to see this as it's my final yr. to see my team playing good games even if the scores are against us. we need to pump in more passion in the sport that we play. its not just about doing what's required.. but playing with ur heart and enjoying the sport. if u cannot handle the pressure, dont think about it. think about why in the first place, we're all in the sport.

we're in this tgt. its either we make or break.
we cannot afford this to happen anymore.
wake up. some of us want it very badly. those who aren't even feeling the vibe, just do it this once and u'll see the difference.

come on girls. have faith. we can.



haha. i'm like suppose to go home do finish project. submission on monday. and hi, i'm on page 1 out of 15 pgs. kill me.

nigel brought his kitten to church today. kim and him gave the name Ponyo (the jap movie fish thing). haha. yea. cute ar.




so had worship prac in the afternoon. after the prac, some of us were talking. couldn't feel it today. just cant feel. like i found myself changing my guitar pick many times for no particular reason. my fav pick also didn't feel right. it was really difficult. for me, when i play for God, i have to feel Him. He's the music. and if i can just feel the music, it'll be right. so no feel, i was off beat, off tone, everything off. nigel even stopped playing the bass for awhile. ahha. then we resorted to switching our instruments. that was funny. oks.

i hope tmr will be a better day. better burn the mid night oil tonight if i want to enjoy my sunday afternoon tmr for now. oh boy.

what a start of 2009.
still no resolutions, YET.

day one.

i did not start the new year with a good note.

missed the tea gathering at sam's place to do projects. but. i'm not disciplined enough to do my job. as of now, only did background. ): kept giving myself excuses.




i deserve to be shot.





i can't even keep still to think about 2009.
ehhhhhhhhhhs. :/

my 2008.

hi.

so today, project meeting, then LAST TRAINING for the year, then Watchnight service.
though i was a little sad that no one was free b4 service, after service was gd.
steamboat at liang sia st. whoooots. ahha. felt so bad. everyone stopped eating and i didn't realised.. just continue only. until like super long later, then i realised that i was the only one eating left. heheh. $15. ahhahs.

i think our project grp should go there eat after projects.


so.


reflecting and summing up 2008... its not the toughest year. its relatively erm... enjoyable actually. ups and downs, but it's one of the yr's i'd rmbr..
- went to malaysia many times. 5 times uh?
- esp gg to malaysia with 2M02. classic fun to the MAX.
- more adventurous. conquered mt k. and many bike trips.
- grew closer with adventure cum photog kakis. hope to do more in the future.
- nyaa gold award. like finally. hahas.
- took part in many runs. gd vertical marathon experience.
- dreadful SIP.
- bowling vs touch. very ups, and very downs.
- erm.. church girls netball. haha!
- many birthday celebrations & surprises.
- teens and youth camp that (i felt) stirred up a sparkling flame of revival.


yea. so if it's 2008, this is what i'll rmbr more or less. i enjoyed this year, considering it's my last yr in TP, my last yr in Team Temasek, in the bowling & touch team.



some sads..
- didn't really achieve any photog awards this time round. ahha. lazy to even find photos to take part. had the photos, didn't have the time.
- am really quick to react to things.. i.e quick to anger.
- rough year to try and get over things, to move on...
- decided to not go for mission trip over importance of school grades.
- thailand team severely affected by the protesters at the thai airport.
- didn't shoot alot. ))):
- i guess there're quite a few more.. but not impactful enough to make me think abt it now. hahas.



i guess all in all, i've learnt.
i've grown. both in good and bad ways luh. certain perspective has shifted. like.. i realised.. although i still can be quite a perfectionist, i'm more laid back.
ok. i think i should blog in a more summative way.

looking ahead, there's my yearly new year resolutions that i'll always have. gotta spend more time thinking and reflecting to come out of solid points for 2009.
looking at 2008......

My New Year Resolution for 2008

 Do not procrastinate at all times. : kept its good till about August. became slack.

 Be focused and God-centered in whatever I do. : gooood. (: but should learn to put it at the TOP.

 Learn to wait on God. : bad. super under performed. but i've learn to appreciate God more.

 Grow stronger. : physically maybe, thanks to Marli's efforts. hahas. mentally... erm... maybe slacked?

 Be patient but yet, urgent. : not patient, overly eager.

 Consistently delivering shots that are good enough to change the world. : didn't even shoot. tsk tsk.

 Lead a healthy lifestyle; fitness on regular basis, and eat moderately. : haha. been eating alot.. BUT there are periods of time where i think about what i'm taking in.




haha. resolutions for 2009. to be up by tmr. (:
but for now, some things i know i want to do and i cant really classify them under resolutions..


i know, the one thing that i have to do is: move on; to majorly get over you. i duno how to salvage this problem or even eradicate it and act as if you dont even exist. i've tried, and you're not even trying / reciprocating which is just soo... sooo tiring. so really, i dont want to run away from the problem and acting nothing has happen like how u've been successfully doing. but now, i guess running away is the solution. to just forget it. not think about it. hate it. dont even bother. yeaaahhhhhhhh. (:


this year, better control of feelings over the total-confirmed-MIA of dad, aka. mr. poon chin swee. there are super sad emo times i miss him like mad. but i gguess it's really part and parcel of loosing a loved one.. especialy someone so major in ur daily lifestyle since you're young. so yea, instead of refraining fromm being sad and becoming emo, i guess it's best to just allow myself to miss him and not be so hard on myself. coz its natural.


there's many things that i'd like to say. but i'll say it tmr. gg to hit the sack. the sleep night of 2008. nite folks.