i just got into a hit and run on PIE(changi), lane 2, about paya lebra stretch.
was travelling at constant throttle at 90km/h on lane 2, slower than usual coz i'm really tired from work and sch and all this emotional shit.
just then, a van from lane 3 suddenly cut out into my lane coz he wanted to overtake this slow moving car on his lane. he was probbly gg about 65-70km/h and just suddenly cut out.
somehow, experience kicked in. either i was too tired to feel the danger, but i was calm enough to keep tapping on my rear and front brakes (instead of slamming into them), with more pressure in the front. i thought it's all good, but in that split second, a blue comfort taxi hit me from behind.
i think he hit me from the left side so my bike surve out into lane 1. i fishtailed and everything happned in slow motion as the adrenaline kicked in.
from the right corner of my eye i saw a white/pale yellow car jamming his brakes just beside, while i tried go against the forces to pull my bike back to the left. i really i'm gg to get a second hit me from the side. it was too close. i could feel my heart plunging deep down to an unknow abyss with ice cubes rolling down my spline.
i was still fishtailing.
my legs were all over the place, with the right being swung out of position and almost hitting the white car. Newtons 3rd law, so my leg came back strong to hit my own bike. was a hard hit to the side of my foot rest.
i thought i was gg to lose it. but really by God's grace, my bike managed to keep its balance while taking my time to regain the forward motion on lane 2. in fight or flight mode, i checked my read mirror to see what's going on behind me. obviously knowing that he has hit me, he slowed down tremendously, leaving a big gap behind. the white car on the right on lane one was also so far back.
i switched on my hazard light and filtered to the left to the road shoulder. i slowed down tremendously before coming to a complete stop.
i look back to see if the blue comfort taxi would follow suit. but, he saw me and ... sped off.
WHUT. but with my astigmatism eye, i manged to see his plate:
Blue Comfort Taxi
SHA9178 (or issit SHA9278)
after realizing all that has happened, i regretted not checking out the van's plate number that was infront of me as well.
was just another 10 mins from home.
that part of the ride wasn't emo, but just stone cold.
i reached my cp, and realized my hands were trembling significantly. the ice cubes in my spine were still there as i fumbled to switch off my bike and pull out the key.
my ankle was swollen by then with some slight bruising, but i wasn't in any physical pain. i sat on my bike for awhile and wanted to cry and let it all out. but amazingly, i was really tired from morng shift and sch, so i didn't want to put myself in that situation while mother poon would be in the hall watching tv while waiting for me to come home. so i just igs what has happened to just let all that out.
i walked to my lift, not feeling the footsteps being effected. i reached for my house keys and was found myself searching for my fingers. trying to grasp on the key for the gate; i took a longer time than usual to do so.
finally opened the gate, i stepped in and making sure that i dont give myself away to a mother who's waiting for her daughter to come home.
i removed by shoes, took off my helmet, put down my bag and sat on the floor, opening instagram and igs my life away.
somehow, i realized my brain was being compartmentalized. while all that was happening, i was thinking of u.
at the road shoulder, i hoped that u were there to put ur arms around my shoulder to tell me its ok or like good job, or take over the riding duty to send me home. as i sat on the floor, i wished u were there to give some warmth to my freezing hands or at least stabilize them a bit. was mindlessly swiping the igs on my phone while i stumbled on one of ur friend's one - with u in it having fun with ur friends. i kept replaying that story just to have that 0.2 sec latest visual of u. was also a rare sight to see u smiling again.
u're not following my igs and my profile is private now, so i know u wouldn't know of this.
but would it make it a difference?
i dun think u'd care about me anyway since u dont even want to be my friend. i had selfish thought-out scenarios like what if something really happened to me. was disappointed that i didn't think about the reactions of mother poon, but i was more concerned if you would bother about my life and death. if i only had a month left on this earth, would u still want to talk to me for the last time? would u take time out to visit me on a hospital bed?
i shudder, and tried to snap out of those illusions.
interesting enough, fb made an anniversary vid of us. so in my notifications, it was smth like "we made a anniversary vid of u and xxxxxx". (yea, of all the people that the system had to choose) its like as if i wasn't broken enough, reality had to hit me. haha. and it was funny that in the choices of photos they used, like out of 5 or 6, i was only in 1 or 2 of the photos, with my face cut off by the square-frame restriction.
sigh. what can i do?
move on and get going with my report coz there's submission on sunday and 2 more lab tests after my night shift on the following weekend.
but for tonight, i need to just let loose abit, watch more tv and sleep more. thank God there's no morng shift the next day.
in every way, i want to thank God for keeping me safe. really. i mean, as my bike was falling side to side, perhaps it's the forward momentum that kept the bike's cg in place so i wouldn't skid off disastrously, but looking at the positions of my handle bars and comparing it with the horizon, i knew it wasn't my own doing. also, thank God it happened after the slope. if its gg up slope, i dont think my bike would have enough momentum to keep going.
i really wouldnt know what to do if i was seriously injured. i mean, it was about 11pm and all the cars around were moving fast. things could have really got out of hand and serious. i've still got work and upcoming exams, now is not really the time for anything out of the ordinary.
i miss you. but that's just a feeling that i will need to get used to for awhile.
there's nothing i can do but to just learn out to emotionally recover fast again.
haha. looking back, u're just like that blue taxi- hit and run.
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