the small significant difference

ok. today morng, i had the Kampong Chai Chee Bowling Open. hahas. been so long since i competed in a bowling tournament. it was a 3 game series. 1st game was a bad 138. didn't know what i line i was hitting and stuff... been so long since i've bowled on lane with such strong back-end. but soon, got into the competition mode and bowled climbed abit to 175 and 161. not that fantastic. but after not bowling for almost a year, i should be thankful at least i still can rmbr most of my routine and mental process. first time ever sparing a 7-4-5 spilt. tyco like mad. and it happened on the 10th frame so it was worth it.


hahas. and so, i won the Women's High Game that comes along with $50 CASH. (:
not too proud of it coz 175 its supposed to be likka avg score rather than a high score. hahas. i mean coz the competition level wasn't too high la. i should be fighting for the high series with the Mens.. coz ladies got 10 pin hcp. but i guess my form's not there to get even near.
the lady who lost to me had her high game of 172. hahas. she must be cursing me. 3 pins only to $50.

so all was good.
$50 for winning. $10 ntuc voucher for sparing some funny pins (the 'emcee' was gg around distracting/ challenging ppl and stuff like that). free atas catered food. free bowling. and fun.
so thank you.


the guy who bowled the same lane as me got 3rd with a 190 avg. he bowls in the SIA league! his dad's from SIA. he's gg to study aerospace though he wants to be a pilot and all. hahas! small world. haha. and he won himself 2 printers! both for the first to bowl 4 strikes in a row and a above 200 game respectively. hahhas. lucky shit.

yea. after tt, went for rugby trng.
had a good session actually. and after finally being able to go back gymming recently, i think it did help in my form.

and from Gene (on attack about commiting ur defender) today, today:

"The space that we left is the space we just created for ourselves."

profound indeed.

schools been ok.
at the new hangar... this this is lunch at the old ST canteen.

life's been kind.
but still, i could have have been up in the mountains now if its not for sch.
breathing mountain air everyday. eating farming food.
sleeping in confidence that that insects won't bite at night.
battling out the cold but be warmed again with the next golden morning sun.
being close to, God.
that's all i need.

i've really lost myself in this materialistic world.





-









lastly.
idk what to say anymore.
initially i had a long list of things to say.
lotsa ideas to share.
but in its train of thoughts, i've lost its meaning.



"The space that we left is the space we just created for ourselves."




indeed.



it doesn't just apply to rugby but to our lives as well i guess.




maybe i'm just not meant for all these after all.
i'm still struggling, but i'm struggling to get out of it.
maybe all these silence and break would give me space to adjust myself to where i really belong and not be saturated with... with thoughts that dont matter eventually.


well, i'm coping better that i expected myself to do so.
painful. sharp.
but its just how a knife gets sharpened right. do i even need to explain further.





haha. funny how its always such a break.then bowling tournament almost immediately. then a high game.
literally, practically, twice.

SIM Sports Awards Night

hey! some photos first...

i've got Sportswoman of the Year! (:


claimed by sUNIg medals. (: been a pretty gd season. but i didn't play for contact sunig though. coz it clashed with bowling.
so take it as for the achievements in Bali 7s.


event held in Lt1-10
sent the AUG atheletes off! hahahhas. all the best to raymond (bowling) and cheryl (bball) (:


HAHAH. this is the GOH.
i can't rmbr his name... but he's damn charming. ahhahas. his voice is damn charming! when he walked up to the stage and started to speak, there was a wave of "woooohhharr" in the audience. hahahas. even the guys. ahhaas. he's like a sports psychologist and also a sportsman. can't really rmbr what he said coz his voice was too charming and distracting. hahahas. but he's funny and encouraging and seem to understand sportsmen of our age (maybe coz he's a psychologist..)


so... we started off with the Team Awards.
there's 3 kinds.. Team Merit (5 teams), Outstanding Teams (3 teams), and Team of the Year (1 team).. if i rmbr correctly.

rugby and touch achieved the Team Merit Award! (:





bowling had the Outstanding Team Award! (:


it was actually quite exciting. coz none of the teams know what they are gonna get. hahas.

bel shi clair and mine! hahas. (:


then for the individual awards..



got the hear his voice twice! hahahhahas.


then was for Sportsman/woman of the year. hahas.
the nominees. ahhas. i know all of them!!! hahhhhahas.
abit malu tt that put down all my sports arh! and actually the ruggers are also touch football ppl. peixuan from the camp .. nicole! hahas. kc + sa friend. (: and the rest are my team mates. ahhas.



and haha.. i got it!
i was actually very surprised and genuinely didn't expect it at all. coz i didn't nominate myself or whatsoever. and really, there are other athletes in SIM who excel so much more than me. (will elaborate on that later..)


and delong got the sportsman of the year. he's from dragonboat. ahhas. also from TP and his bday's like one day after mine!


i thought $$cash. ahhas. but ok luh.. $100 vouchers for maximuscle that expires in dec. hahas. probably


and so.. the team of the yrea went to dragonboat team as they've won the prestigious President's Cup challenge or smth like that.



ahhahs. some of the sports leaders gathered together and take photo.. macham like some sports team. but a very happy grp of ppl though! hahas. (:





took photo with the sportsman of the yr...


dinner was at the foyer this yr. ahhahs. more ppl and more budget as compared to last year! hahhahas.







teehee. (:





ok.
really didnt expect to get the sportswoman of the year. i mean like.. there are so much other athletes who have performed excellently; not just for SIM but for the nation as well. i dun want to get the award just because i take part in 3 sports under SIM... its like jack of all trades but masters of none kinda thing. but ya la, i did have a good season.
been really down during trng for the last 3 wks, (with Dance Arts recital coming up in 6 days!) and basically, just have been struggling alot with myself, and even really on the verge of considerations of quitting. so this award is really very timely.

its really a great encouragement for me and moral booster for me. hopefully issues of self-esteem probs can just go away after like 5 yrs or smth. hahas.

Gold

ok, today SIM reaped
Gold for contact.
Gold for girls team event for bowling.
Gold and silver for individual event. (cy and nic)
Silver for boys doubles.



lotsa things to say and i duno where to start.


morng. didn't feel too gd abt waking up. my mind was too active last night. probably in excitement. ahhas. woke up at 4am 5am thinking that its time its time. tsk tsk.
i dun think its tournament stress, its more like, v excited to hit my goals.


doubles event. zomg. so close.
everyone was having trouble with the lanes. after 1st game, michelle and i were 5th, nic and cy were 4th.
then after 2nd game, we're 3rd.
then last game, we cuii and dropped to 8th while nic and cy dropped to 5th.
everyone's so close.
and mich was bowling well and i just had to have splits coming it at crucial frames.
and grrr. i HATE ppl who cross over lanes in reaction to their pin action. seriously. its uncalled for. totally spoilt my momentum and i was really irriated by it. i alrdy took a step back alrdy though.
oh wells. but lanes were tough.



lesson learnt: just shift.


if u're alrdy down, just shift. stop believing if the scores dun show. it wont work. hahas.




team event, i wanted a gold badly coz i heard the contact girls got gold arldy, and was really proud of them.
plus, i screwed doubles, its time to get back.
and i think it was the synergy and nic's mum that brought the gold.

hahas. voxsports interviewed me and i was really stupid abt it.
said very un-pro stuff. but whatever. hahas.
my image gone alrdy (if i even have an image to begin with)
ahahs








so yes, persoanlly, because it was just 3 gaames, anything can happen. so i sort of redeemed myself with that 191 game.



then later,
masters/singles.
):
bad.


up till now, i duno how to bowl that lane.
i might need to get a Jigsaw to bowl that lane or smth.
totally no idea. ya. 14 14 and a 91 game. ahahas. 91. ahhahas.
but thanks to manda who was my sole supporter. ahhas.


cy and nic managed to get top 2. so congrats! that brought up the medal tally, and thus, we're girls champs.



overall, sim didn't do as well as planned.
i think the guys really struggled. during trng, they were really on it. but today really wasn't it.
3 blocks of games. all 3 diff conditions.
and NTU guys are really strong. i rmbr they started their series with a 866 or smth.






thanks to cheng wai and team who faithfully stayed from 715am till 830pm. SALUTES.
i almost died bowling alrdy. and to watch time pass by like that should be really painfully slow. so i appreciate all the efforts from the team and supporters today. (:

but this yr, felt that the focus was more on AUG than on anything.
we didn't even take a team photo nor celebrate our coach's bday. i think everyone's tired la. but teamphoto's actually a must i guess.






then after stepladders, we went out for dinner with aloy and gang to celebrate shaozong's bday!!
really enjoying spending lepak time with them. though everyone was tired, we still enjoyed each other's company over majong. ahhas.













so.
i also realized that there's lotsa relationship in this yr's sunig.
like gerald's bro leonard's bowling, whose cousin is nic.
and leonard with his gf.
cheng yee and cheng lee the sisters.
old sji acs boys now competing with each other again.
there's probably more la. ahhas.

and during the break/after sunig, u lotsa couples.


just like rugby.


i think its at this age where ppl really start getting their 2nd halfs and settling down for a long and forever journey.


cheh cheh.



i thought abt it, shudder, and ignore it.






so to conclude, i'm not sure if i'm really proud for myself. i'm proud of the team event, disappointed with my doubles and can vomit blood on my singles. totally blew singles. and this yr's really a gd yr to do well. maybe i could have done better in bukit batok. but if i could do well, i think everyone else would also do well.
today made me wanna give up AUG, which i think i should.
i dun think i deserve it anyways. though i'm also top 12 which is eligble for the sunig roll offs, i can't make it for the roll offs because of Bali 7s. HAIZ. ):




but yea, was talking to caroline today, i think i'm a team player.
i feel more motivated as a team. i think its coz of the culture for rugby.
and another thing,
bowling is really unlike rugby in terms of mental and consistency.
in tournament situations, u wanna go all out and chiong it. so for rugby, just give all out,and whack only.
for bowling, the more u want it, the more u gotta tell urself to slow down and execute ur routine without rush.




still ): that i couldn't play contact sunig for SIM.

but itsa GOLD for touch, contact and bowling girls. (:
could have gotten3, but i should be more than satisfied with 2..



let's just take this as encouragements.
also, a time to reflect and realize that there's 2 wks plus to exams.
no time ya.





and..






RIP mrs. Lee.

wrist

my wrist hurt alot today.






period.

managing my finances.

business finance test over.


haven't been blogging coz by default, its like sch and then trng.


coach just put me capt for sunig w team for bowling, just like that.
didnt see this coming coz there wasn't really a need for a person like that.
really wanted to reject it coz i'm alrdy holding the vc for touch.


for bowling, the team's more or less stable. talking abt trng schedules, coaching, and like the flow of it all. its more or less... established.
for touch, it rather new and a diff yr where shi, jaz and i wanna push the team... to start smth together and continue it well because we have really an experience pool of players.
so more or less, i wanna prioritize that abit more? and with the world cup coming, i really wanna train well for it.
i dun wanna repeat what i did in poly. this is like- the same scenario ya.

Winter Touch League as well as National Touch Leagues's happening over next 2 wks over 3 months till nov. those are sat morngs. and those are like.. bonded with commitments. ahhas.



i just hope i will be focused enough to separate my duties as a capt and as a player, for both. i promise myself to not let admin work or obligations wear me off mentally till it affects my physical performance.
that should probably be my focus for now.


blacks pre-season trng also just started last wk.
season's in jan with tours and annual tournaments in between.
yea.
and sim contact's playing Bali's 7s in early oct. so there would be trngs for that as well. not to mention, sunig as well. ahas.


so that's the 3 big thing's on my mind now. touch, bowling, contact.
i mean yea, i can't really be that greedy right.
but this is probably my last me being able to be all gungho and go for it.
maybe next yr? we'll see how's the whole fireman aspiration's coming along ya.


there's also on going collegiate league for bowling which i aimed to qualify for masters. need to bowl 3 blocks. i'm left with 2. but its on thurs and clashes with sch's touch. so yea. there's some grey area here. priority here would clearly be touch trng over collegiate league, but we'll see abt that.
and for bowling sunig, this yr's special.. in a way.. its a selection for the AUG- Asian Uni Games. its like a damn big thing and i've got like 0.00000001% chance of representing sg for this. this is probably the only and only event that i can rep sg with. BUT... (ahhahas), not easy ya. as in.. not easy to even make it to the trng squad.
i'm not hoping much. but i will still do my best for sunig.
my goal for this sunig is to probably achieve top 3 in singles. the doubles and team event not out yet, but this will be it, as will as to qualify for masters. i am not sure of the format as of yet, but that's my 2 aims for this season.




i haven't mentioned, that my annual fortnight recital's happening this yr also huh.
a tentative 3 b dances and 2 t dances to perform? hahahs.
i have no idea how am i gg to find slots for that, but pretty sure after tt after the whole sunig's over, i'm able to find time for it.




i'm seeing all these as a whole challenge for me to manage my time enjoy myself as well as learn as much as i can from this whole thing.

there's like major project dues in sept (where the uni games are held) and final exams in end oct-nov.



i just really hope that i will not take God for granted.
instead, like what one of my teammates said.. may all these be vessels for God to work with u in ur life. since my spiritual stage in life is like... anyhow with ground 0 discipline, i'm pretty sure if i'm able to work with God through this, He'll not only see me through in positive light, but as well as allow me to discover more things abt Him for me to be amazed and encouraged abt. (:

let's pray for Rain..

Haha.. Blogging using BB at work now.

Morng was amanda's and I long awaited..
SMU Doubles!!! Ahahahah ((:
We didn't do well. But we had funnn!! Ahahah
Bowling beside stacy and uncle jack. Damn fuuunnyyy.
totally enjoyment man.





And.. I was majorly late!! Reg at 9am, I woke up at 9.05am! Ahhahahah.braved the rain. ECP was chao heavy man!!!! Couldn't see the cars! Kept praying. Thank God all's well. Ahah. Missed prac throw but just in time. Ahahaha.

free lunch tasted gd.
The finals quite jia lat. All the top few doubles got kicked out in baker system!! Ahahha




So.. Today's peter and rain's wedding.
So aunty Rose was like...
"Do u know why it was raining today...
Coz we've been praying for Rain.."

....

Ahahhaa.
Yea. Had a few shots I like.. (:


Saw u.
And I courageously talked to u today.
I was v casual abt it.. Like.. "How's life and all.."
Some how, I just felt that u wanted to end the conversation right away. ):
I rly wanted to know what's gg on in ur life and so on.. But I guess u can't be bothered to talk to me.. Awww.
But whatever.
almoostt wore the same kind/pattern of shirt man. heing nv. (as in. we used to always pong chiao wear same shirt one)


Then played guit at e kindergarden. Played piano also while jeremy played e guit. Wah. He can sing nice. It was like a mini jam session and for that moment, really appreciate all that's happening. (: so, thank u for tt if u ever read this space.


Met my mum for dinner later on.
Tmd. I swear I'm nt gg to park legally at bugis.
E eps nv read my system. So I push in e card so the barrier lift up right.. Then ar, the car from behind cut in sia. Tmd. Knnbccb. I cursed out loud at least 30 times. I even put out my middle finger. That's damn vulgar and unbecoming. Totally out of line ya. Sry. But seriously. Then I had to try so hard to reverse back because e ground so wet.

But had gd dinner with mum and she bought me a dress and a wallet. Ya. Happy with e wallet.




So nw, I started blogging when worked start and my shift is ending soonn... 4am alrdy. And guess who I saw! His ex again! Ahaha. The nice one.she's also workin in macs but mac cafe..she's like within 1m adjacent from me... Everyone's watching world cup nww..

awardds

ok. today, i recieved 2 awards!

ok first... PBC Youth Challenge..
i came in 3rd.
the last series, i missed 3rd by 4pins. now i got 3rd by a mile ya. HAH.






actually was quite tight fight. after 1st 2 games, i was 2nd or smth. then pins could not carry down, kept leaving pin 10. made adjustments, then leave pin 5/7 and all. seriously, should have BOOKIE! i'll be super rich by today. 1 game got at least 4 lor!! image that. then drop to 4th.

basically, whole game the 1st runner up and i were like pacing each other the last game was actually v impt. coz on her 7th game, she was damn suay.. she got like 6 splits in a game or smth like that while i got 193. so i sort of caught up with her. then last game, wah. she managed to string all her strikes while i had 2 splits, and could not string my strikes.


but overall, i think i did consistently well today.. taking into consideration of my aching left shoulder and right wounder thumb... still managed to spare all easy spares except bad splits. i guess if i was abit more competitive and really make all my shots count, i could have won this. but oh wells.
still need to train more.


parked outside kok's hse.



Hahah. I saw e white paper then thought TP.. but no.
heing ar! But got so much space lorrrs! seriously. i think like one big van can go through pls.







then was monsoon awards night at Harry's Bar at Boat Quay! hahas.

i got this award! hahas.


honestly, totally didn't expect it coz i'm like a rookie in this club for this yr and didn't know such an award existed. ahhas.

the theme was world cup but no one really followed! ):
dwang. i thought like many ppl would be in long socks and all. tmd! only me! AHHA.



but ok la. was fun.
got to know more abt the men's wing and all. i think we still need to get to know each other more! hahas.






the food was damn goooood. the pasta is like shiok ttm.



and the stuffed chicken. whoots.







so anyways. saw the HK team we played against with ytd at boat quay!!!! hahas. so marli and i brought them to Harry's since they wanted a place to drink and watch the world cup. ahahs.




oh yea..
on the way to Harry's.. i got stuck at this traffic light for 25mins ya!!!
it was like a NDP preview for me.. upclose. ahahas.
wasted. if i was on the other side, i could have gotten a closer view.

but omg. actually i was alrdy late for the event. i missed the right turn green arrow by 3sec! so ended up waiting for the whole convoy to pass..

photo from my phone:


and even got time to whip out my camera: (the scdf part!!! damn exciting!)



notice how the sunsets.



damn long.
i off and on my engine at least 3 times... hoping to save petrol and not knowing when can we go.
i think the traffice police damn confident. he was like single-handedly managing the cross junction and giving v v clear hand instructions.

ahas. in the meantime, i was also chatting with this pizza delivery guy. poor thing. his order damn late. hahas. totally understand how he feel. ahahs. and behind me's this long jam.. poor cars horning away and not knowing what's happening infront. hahas.





ok. time now is 3am.
tmr, 8am work ya! omgs.