what now.

in public now.
my heart is aching and idky i keep crying.

i've tweet so much that i think i should stop and blog now.
idky.
i'm like trying to do my report on Corrosion, but like just v emo.

God, help.
do i need to see an earthly doctor?
dont worry, i'm not suicidal. too much to live for, and mother poon needs me.

and its not like i feel lonely or need company
nor do i want to talk to anyone i know about all that's going on.
its not like i know whats gg on inside me also.

i dont even feel like wallowing up in self pity,
or go on binge drinking,
coz im still sane enough to know that alcohol is only worth it from duty-free,
or like good drinks over some good meal.
and i have a professional job that needs me 100% sober.
see. i'm ok.
?


my heart just v painful.
i hope that perhaps its coz of ytd's 10k run.
like u know, physical aches rather than emotionally inflicted aches.


i hope all this shall come to pass soon.
coz i'm still trying to do my report.
but i cant go on coz the tears is blocking my view from googling and typing.


although, i feel that i'm left hanging.
tell me you hate me pls.
tell me u've given up.
tell me straight that you do not want me in ur life anymore.


i need to kill all of this.
i need to get on with my daily duties pls.
and i need all that focus i can get for this semester's exams.

i'm not even seeking for any solutions.
and after typing all of these things,
i'm not searching for any comfort.

i just want to be normal and driven to do fine in life again.