here and now

online lect today.
feeling tired, unmotivated and mundane.

so this is life w/o u.
itsn't it the same format 3 yrs ago?
but how and y is this so different now?

how do memories function?
their contradicting existence - there, but never there.

how are u?

idk what to do, not that i need to know what to do,
or like if there's anything i should do..
but like. study loh. go to work loh. go to sch loh.

feeling so far from existence now- here but never here
may God's bountiful love fills all the void though i'm so undeserving.
may i get used to this soon.