in a way, it was gd because i could try to do more things today, w/o letting my low self esteem pull me down.
honestly, i think i'm getting it gd. (: i know what i'm doing, and i know how i, and even other ppl can improve. i guess the change of position, in a way, is gd because i learn more. especailly to step out of my comfort zone.
somehow, i just feel that no matter how much i want it, how muct effort i put in, how much sacrifices i've made, it'll never be enough.
we had a little talk today. one or two persons wanting it alone is not enough. saying u want it is one thing. actually pushing urself to do it more is another. i dont wish for lucky chances on those trying days that are coming soon.. but i really hope that as much as i'm giving it my best, everyone will benefit and grow stronger, together. after all, to think big, its for the team, for the sch. i think everyone is too nice to herself, including me.
maybe in the first place, the snrs took the wrong move. should have started out hard.
nvm. i'm just happy to be part of this.
Haha came today. real glad to see her. she gave us yakult. ((:
i think next batch onwards, must start being firm. i rmbr like when i was like freshie.. 1st wk was like getting the feel of the ball.. run around here and there and played team games with the seniors. and then, wk 2 team debriefing was like "if you're not in here to win, get out". everyone was eager to say smth. as freshies, we're always being scolded for being quiet and not voicing out.
hahas. as in, seriously. i rmbred that that was said during our first offical trng (at the dark astro turf). HAHA. and then, we didn't have the luxury of taking our time to improve. we learned the rules and how to play the game b4 trng started, during the game we played after the drills. and not like how recently, freshies get a few months to get into the game and stuff like that. i rmbr how some of us would come early to just pratice the drills so that we won't get drop balls and angry-frustrated faces at us. that was also when i started to realised i need to seriously start priortising. but yea, we're being pushed hard.
in a way, i would call it good pressure. no, its not that pleasent along the way, but i'm sure that we're glad that we went through all that.
on and off the field, everyone was doing everything to get things right. urgency really wasn't an issue because everyone wanted alot of out trng. discipline was like dont even need to think about it. all the time, it just felt that everyone wanted to get it right and apply and move on. we complained tt trng wasn't enough. and then when there's like any selection for any game. seriously, it was like. dead silence. when ppl dont make it, ppl cry. everyone wanted it bad. no excuses.
for me, bowling was a bad move coz it took away time to build my foundation. now that i've missed that one opportunity, i've missed all the opportunities.
anyways. lets talk abt now.
i gues its a friendlier environment, filed with tender loving care around. may be a good or bad thing. but for sure, that might have made us to compromise with discipline.
bad news, capt's foot's not gd. fell into some port hole a few days back. gd news, still can tahan till season's over. bad news, surgeory's gonna be postponed- till after season. which means, this is risky. keeping fingers crossed and pray hard for her.
recently, been having dizzy spells. i dun need to get up from a lying position to feel dizzy. when i was sitting down, i waver abit and my vision started to swirl, as if to navigate its bearings before it settled down. random headaches occur. not killer AMS (acute mountain sickness) kind of pounding headache, but just, head aching.
haha. i just added 3 friends in fb again.
ahhas. bhb. but fun.
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