the linger

After almost 9 years, i still find it difficult to remove his contact off the list even if it means to waste one contact space in the sim card. If only he's really just one call away ah. My job prospects would be 100x better now. Hahas. Sigh. With what I'm doing now, I think we could be better best friends.
i guess now coz its the time when most of my classmates are searching for jobs, i feel the pressure to secure a place in siaec. the next intake's in Aug, but that's unconfirmed and they'll only inform you a month before or so. basically, everything's so ambiguous.

anyway.

sch was pointless.

and then work was tiring today.

but thanks to good company. (:

idky, but i'm feeling..('~')

probably, its gonna be the time of the month soon. 

i'm missing you so so badly.

idky.

maybe coz i know i shouldn't be. 

and i dun think i'm going too bad off the track, as i believe i'm quite done with that pit, but i do miss the friendship.

idk how else to get this right anymore.

i've alrdy long gone given up, but the residual remains are just too... attached. 

i dont think i've lost my direction, but i'm put to underestimate hope.

its been long since i've publicity amplified such of my thoughts.

its not that it's never there, but i've successfully contained it well. perhaps its potency wasn't lethal enough for me to splurge out a move here. i've never harbour any evil deceit here nor use this to intentionally verbalize anything out to anyone here.

my heart's heavy.

so heavy.

too heavy.

i just wanna pray for God to lift this up. 

i know that behind every dark clouds theres' a Sun and only in time it'll shine again.

but for how long can these clouds be blown away.

going up. going down.

recovering and then falling back.

how long can this elasticity last till it reach its breaking point?