ECONS.

haha. got so so confused with the graphs. bonkers sia. haha. MS & MD confused with exhange rate.. then the graph labeling wrong. if the government was to mark my econs, i think he's goona laugh man. haha. look at the 'recommendations' i wrote to shift the LRAS and SRAS.

but.
i guess, thank God la. coz i'm prepared for that paper. just abit disappointed that the topics that i focused on didnt' come out. instead.. its all those touch-and-go kind of studying. ): anyways. its a much better prepared compared to my mid sem exams.
i do hope to maintain that A. coz....

tmr's accounting paper, i'm sure it'll remain a C or below.
now 60% is C. i need like a A***** to move it to a B+ or A.
but u see.. its accounting.
couldn't really hard today. ): didn't practice any question. i'm just goona bang on the theory or smth.

i'm proud of Singapore la. small yet trying so hard. look at the hardwork all around u that is happening now. even the toilets are reconstructed for the IMF/ World Bank .big sia.

i'm better gg off to study. byes man.




What now, your gone, my fault, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry for the tears I made you cry
I guess this time it really is goodbye
this song, this main line keep playing in my head.
hmm.
this song is dedicated to you. yup.
some yes and nos.



i miss trngs la. this whole wk. i did not run at all. maybe i did when i chased bus 24. and that was it. i feel so unfit. so much input and little output can. :x

CSA paper

left the hall at 11:12pm.

felt pointlesss staring at the paper, hoping smth that would happen.
welll. i'm gonna pass the paper, quite sure. but i know i won't do as well, nor top the class or wadsoeva.
those 10m questions, i briefly read the book. so... my ans sounds logical, but wrong terms used i guess.
kinda regretted that i studied at T2 ytd. the chairs were too comforable.

today, it was grace, yuanting and gary at my lao di fang. rocks man. i studied finish. (: haven tried applying. but i know its gd stuff.


today, i miss dad buying onion rings for me. and you.

Craig David- Don't Love You No More (I'm Sorry)

Craig- David- Don't Love You No More (I'm Sorry)

[VERSE 1]
For all the years that I've known you baby
I can't figure out the reason why lately you've been acting so cold
(didn't you say)
If there's a problem we should work it out
So why you giving me the cold shoulder now
Like you don't even wanna talk to me girl
(tell me)
Ok I know I was late again
I made you mad and dinners thrown in (the bin)
But why are you making this thing drag on so long
(I wanna know)
I'm sick and tired of this silly game
(silly games)
Don't think that I'm the only one here to blame
It's not me here who's been going round slamming doors
That's when you turned and said to me
I don't care babe who's right or wrong
I just don't love you no more.

[CHORUS]
Rain outside my window pouring down
What now, your gone, my fault, I'm sorry
Feeling like a fool cause I let you down
Now it's, too late, to turn it around
I'm sorry for the tears I made you cry
I guess this time it really is goodbye
You made it clear when you said
I just don't love you no more

[VERSE 2]
I know that I made a few mistakes
But never thought that things would turn out this way
Cause I'm missing something now that your gone
(I see it all so clearly)
Me at the door with you in a state
(in a state)
Giving my reasons but as you look away
I can see a tear roll down your face
That's when you turned and said to me
I don't care babe who's right or wrong
I just don't love you no more.

[CHORUS]
Rain outside my window pouring down
What now, your gone, my fault, I'm sorry
Feeling like a fool cause I let you down
Now it's, too late, to turn it around
I'm sorry for the tears I made you cry
I guess this time it really is goodbye
You made it clear when you said
I just don't love you no more

[BRIDGE]
Don't say those words it's so hard
They turn my whole world upside down
Girl you caught me completely off guard
On the night you said to me
I just don't love you more.

[CHORUS 2X]
Rain outside my window pouring down
What now, your gone, my fault, I'm sorry
Feeling like a fool cause I let you down
Now it's, too late, to turn it around
I'm sorry for the tears I made you cry
I guess this time it really is goodbye
You made it clear when you said
I just don't love you no more

a month and a day.

cass flew off today. ):
all the best. (:



can't study hard today.
i just studied. ):
and again i was so distracted with myself.


i've planned my hols though.
i'm goong train. not acadamemically, yet.
after i'm more or less settled, i'll move into piano, finally. provided i get enough finances. should be working during the hols.


man. i miss fellowshipping.
i miss ppl.




negligance, ignorance. not getting better.

When There Was Me and You

Movie: High School Musical
Artist: Vanessa Anne Hudgens
Song: When There Was Me and You


It's funny when you find yourself
Looking from the outside
I'm standing here but all I want
Is to be over there
Why did I let myself believe
Miracles could happen
Cause now I have to pretend
That I don't really care

I thought you were my fairytale
My dream when I'm not sleeping
A wish upon a star
That's coming true
But everybody else could tell
That I confused my feelings
With the truth
When there was me and you

I swore I knew the melody
That I heard you singing
And when you smiled
You made me feel
Like I could sing along
But then you went and changed the words
Now my heart is empty
I'm only left with used-to-be
And once upon a song

Now I know you're not a fairytale
And dreams were meant for sleeping
And wishes on a star
Just don't come true
Cause now even I can tell
That I confused my feelings
With the truth
Because I liked the view
When there was me and you

I can't believe that
I could be so blind
It's like you were floating
While I was falling
but I didn't mind

Because I liked the view
Ooooh hoo hoo
I thought you felt it too
When there was me and you







hmmm.
Hockey National Champions.
Captain.
L1R5 13.
National Player.
yet...
unable to make the cut for DSA to SAJC.

if DSA is just going to be another security for the more academically strong & inclined students (who can also do well in CCAs), i suggest it to be scrapped off.

the point is being missed.

go back to the bottome line for the purpose of creating the whole scheme of DSA. and for goodness sake. READ THE OBJECTIVES/ MISSIONS or wadsoeva.


nonsense man.

btw, it stands for Direct-Schools Admission.

if this carries on, i need to do something.

TNP

TEMASEK'S WINNING STREAK
By Al R Dizon

August 26, 2006




TEMASEK Polytechnic's bowlers are riding high.


Temasek Poly's bowling teams celebrate victory at Cathay Bowl Safra Yishun last night. -- ALVIN TOH
Their Team 1 conducted a successful defence of their Brunswick Collegiate League at Cathay Bowl Safra Yishun last night after a tough challenge from NUS, Singapore Polytechnic and NTU.

Their first team won just enough points in the 12-week tournament, scoring 157.5 points to narrowly fend off a strong challenge by NUS, which tallied 149 points.

In terms of pinfalls, Temasek's first team scored 26,104, just 71 more than NUS' 12-week output.

Their second team managed to finish in the top 10 of the 15-team competition, scoring 101 points or 24,525 pinfalls to edge ITE into 10th place.

And the team members were so ecstatic with their repeat victory that they posed for a photoshoot with The New Paper even though four of them - Angeline Teo, Nicholas Lum, Raymond See and Asri Asman - were still bowling in the masters finals.

'Temasek!' they shouted as they celebrated their victory.

'It was a very good all round performance by our team,' said Chia Yong Shearn, a member of Temasek's Team 1.

'The fact that four of us are in the masters' finals says a lot about our strength.'

'It was also a tougher field this year, which makes our narrow win more meaningful,' said Nicholas Lum.

'It's sweeter, too, because this wouldn't have been possible without the hard work put in by everyone,' added Teo.

The team credits coach Lawrence Song for their success.

'He tirelessly gave us his input and really improved the mental aspect of our game,' Chia said.

Indeed, there were times during the gruelling 13-week tournament that Temasek seemed to be on the point of being overwhelmed.

'But Uncle Lawrence made us believe we would overcome, and we did,' Chia.

The next target for the team?

'A good performance at the Poly-ITE Games and the Intervarsities-Polytechnics Games,' said Chia.



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Experience gives NUS's Valerie Teo the edge

NATIONAL bowler and reigning world youth champion Valerie Teo (left) let her experience count last night.

She did just enough to edge out close rival Angeline Low of NTI in the final two games to win the 2nd Brunswick Collegiate League 2006's girls' masters finals at Cathay Bowl Safra Yishun.

Valerie rolled an eight-game series of 1,546 to Low's 1,415 in a tightly fought match, wrapping it up with a 194 in the final game against Low's 168.

'It was pretty close, especially in the final game,' said Teo, a medical undergrad at the National University of Singapore.

'I really had to use my experience and whatever reserves I had to really sew it up in the final two frames of the final game, and I did.'

Teo, who is a strong candidate for Team Singapore's Asian Games squad, made her intentions known after she totally outclassed the girls' field with an average of 195 in the masters qualifiers over 12 weeks - well ahead of Temasek Polytechnic's Angeline Teo, who rolled an average of 182.


The rest of the field in the girls competition had averaged below 172 during the qualifiers and 176 in the finals.

She immediately applied the pressure last night with an opening game of 226, and was never threatened until the seventh frame when she rolled an 'awful' 155.

The boys competition was tighter, but was eventually won by Raymond Wong of Singapore Polytechnic with an eight-game series of 1,581 on a countback against Roger Ni of Chapalang.

-The New Paper

>:(

we didn't play well today. i guess we're either complacenet or just having the wrong mindset. i'm sure that if Marli told us that we could win , we would.
coz they are not like one of the better better teams. and they're at a much slower pace.
i guess we'd tried our best. but not the best that we can perform. sounds contridicting.. but its like that.

we applied our drills. but slow in excuting it. ): they crab alot alot alot. they have alot of energy. but they are slow in gaining ground. we didn't know how to take advantage of that. i rmrb like.. we toook like 6 touches to move only 1/4 of the field. and there was a pt whereby on attacking, we moved back. glad that Angie pointed out that grave mistake. in a long run, to think of it, its scary.

smth abt us. we'd promise to move up as a line. but when we're on defense. yes, we're afriad of creating gap, but then again, we still dun move up as a line. then again, we're so kan choing, always sucking in to the mass of confusion w/o proper communication. communication today was like... hmmm. or rather, should i say no communication. dummy half slow. runner duno where.
speaking of the pacing. i guess we're freakin easily influenced. we are like external players. we let our surrondings control our performance. this shouldn't be the case! we're there to gain experience and LEARN. oh boy.

but one thing is that its gd that we're open to our mistakes. we'd better continue with that attitude sia. we'd better strive harder if we want smth gd out of this ntl. at the rate we're gg, not gonna learn as much as we possibly can.

the score was 7-0. to them.

they're kinda agressive in terms of wanting the ball. for a second or 2, it almost felt like contact rugby la. basket. i rmbr this lady la. i was holding the ball, OBVIOUSLY wanting to take a positive touch. she literally ramped into me to- TOUCH. so i fumbled with my roll-over.
and also. theres another lady i'm really >:( abt. i'm like dummyhalf.. she go and put her hand through the gap between the ball and my chest to sweep the ball out of me. thank God the ref saw and tell her to back 5 and e rollover again.

ref today was like.. not gg to let anyone off the hook. when offside, literally back 10 and penalty. usually its like they just dun count the touch. then i rmbr one time.. she's freaking crazy. she said i was off-the-mark and told me to put the ball back. and u know how back the distance that was expected of me to put the ball?? the distance of 1 long 30-cm ruler and a pencil. probably about 45cm. i was like wth. need me to use measuring tape?

ok la. on the other hand. she'd just doing her job. and doing it very well and precise. but it really gets irritating that it hinders the flow.

tp in all, have to train on our fitness- out of our own accordance. u can't expect marli and aisha to spend one trng on fitness or smth. coz it'll be sacrifing on our agility and technique. we should orgainse our own fitness, from now if we want to improve. as a team would be great, or indivually la. but higher tendancy to not go further.

tpiranhas played well awesome today on the other hand. salute Vie. she really looked pale and was having a fever. and she scored 2 tries. i want to fake like how charlotte and vie does. coz when they fake, u know that they're gonna fake. but u still buy it. haha.


ok. after that. i went home. in attempt to study. was too tired. went to mac to study. couldn't study econs.. so ended up starting to read my csa. :l.
but yea.

every game to me counts la.
coz i really learn alot. like smths, we do drills. we dunno what is the purpose. though marli explains what are the drills for, w/o seeing the importance and the key areas of it, its difficult to take in 100% of trng. so i guess all these games helps in our drillls contraversly.

ok. enough of rubgy talk.

haa. today i think i've drank the most liquid in my life. 3 regular cups of milo and abt 4-5 bottles of water. just today. today, there was a ring of rainbow around the sun.. coz it was slightly drizzling during our first half... but didn't take photo.. haha.



ok.some courses for u...
hahahahaha. talk about wellness Talk 1. for us?! haha.
go ok. i'm doing my kind part as a faithful SC Comm member by advitising this for SAA. HAHAHA.






Wellness Talk 1 - Parents who love too much

All parents want to be effective in their parenting. How to go about it? Is it necessary to set boundaries in order to make our parenting more effective?

Thursday, 7 September 2006, 12.30pm to 1.30pm @ LT 23


Wellness Talk 2 - Hard Fats – The facts you thought you knew

Are all fats bad for our health? Come face to face with some of the hard facts and understand about saturated fats, particularly that of trans fats, and how you can recognize these fats on our food labels.
Tuesday, 12 September 2006, 12.30pm to 1.30pm @ LT 23


Wellness Talk 3 - Eye Care for Computer Users

This talk is to highlight factors that affect visual comfort and ways to combat eyestrain while using a computer.

Tuesday, 19 September 2006, 12.30pm to 1.30pm @ LT 23

Wellness Talk 4 - Gait Analysis - Right Running Shoes

How to identify the right running shoes?

Gait analysis is an invaluable tool to have the accurate diagnosis of chronic lower limb injuries and problems. They will provide individual measurement and diagnostic on individual feet, knees, back, consultations on feet structures and advice on models of shoes required for special needs.

Thursday, 21 September 200612.30pm to 1.30pm @ LT 23


Wellness Talk 5 – How Close Am I to Heart Attack?
Do you know that Cardio vascular disease is the leading cause of death among Singaporeans accounting for 32.8% of the total deaths in Singapore? Dr Jimmy Lim, Consultant of Cardiology Department, Tan Tock Seng Hospital will speak on identifying the risk factors and warning signs of a heart attack as well as the importance of regular check ups to ensure that your heart is healthy.

Monday, 25 September 2006, 12.30pm to 1.30pm @ BUS LT 23

OB PAPER. & then Meeting

lets start the thing by my morning.
i couldn't wake up. after i read 0.5 of a topic, i slept. set my ALARM at 730. but couldn't. till 830 paper was at 930. reporting time 10mins b4. ok la. left the house at 845am. drink my morning milo. tried to read my proud-gd-o'-comprehensicve ob mindmaps.
wah. tell u.
its loong since i felt like that in the morning. poly life is really spoiling me. in sec sch.. every day was 6am. and when i'm able to wake up at 8am, i was really delightful. now, when its just 9am. i COMPLAIN. human. sheesh.
but really la. i really felt injured. my right shoulder blade, lowerback, left knee was aching.in addition, my right wrist couldn't move as freely as it should be.
boy.
i told myself. GET UP.


ok. b4 the OB paper. was panicking, because i have no pencil. no one had extra. so i was like.. "man. anyone got extra pencil?" then this guy from the next class, lend me pencil, and even gave me extra lead. so touching. i dun even know him and he just auto offer me a pencil. i relaly felt so happy and encouraged. ok. u must be thinking i'm mad la.. ppl lend u pencil happy until like that. haha. but its been LOOONG since this kind of things happen la. i really want to thank God. coz i didn't pray, nor thank him for the beautiful sun in the morng, and yet, He still watches over my needs.

OB paper. sat at the wrong seat. haha. until MeiPeng came in.haha. ok la. abit sad. couldn't rmrb some key facts. the scope was too wide. i studied too much, neglecting some chucks of details. i think i'll fare better than the last paper. but.. i highly doubt that i'll be seeing an A. at the maximum. B. no +.


after that. was the IMF breifing cum meeting. scary sia. lvl 28. u need to xchage ur i/c to get a pass and like take lift and all la. conference room was so businessy like. the lady was quite chio. she has this dun-mess-with-me aura, and like proved diligent in work. quite amazing.
the meeting went abit ok. had a little prob here and there. soon to be 'ironed-out' but really la. the meeting itseld is a beholder. the working world can be political.

IMF is a freaking reputatable event. Singapore must be honoured to hold such a major event. the last one held in ASEAN was in 1997 in HK and way back till 1991. now its Sg's turn. so u see the road blocks and all. its all for the IMF. the improvements of structure, building of officies at suntec is all for IMF. impressive huh.
then the camera duno wad got wireless and all. relly BIG sia.
i'm in awe. Singapore is doing alot, just as a red dot.

it'll be a 2 wk event. where Sg will cater to thousands of ppl flying in an out. expected S$50m in tourism i think. 7 million paper will be used as mention. 280 buses will be used as shutter bus for the VVVIPs.
i really can't wait. everyone is so bz abt it. everyone is planning and working so hard to give Sg a name.

yup. i'll be e photography for the event. i'm really honoured la. out of the 20 plus photographers, 4 will be selected to be attached to 4 pro-ed ones for the bigger projects. the rest will be delegated to Liason Officiers and all. so cool right! gives me so much edge in wanting to improve my technical skills.


haha. the mega AGM is on 19th and 20th Sept.
gotta borrow camera from Wilson. haha. my camera is no where allowed. i'll see how.
photos taken are to be delcared. we can't keep them. haha. so yea. ): but its the experince and the big big big exposure i'm looking forward to. and u know wad. i will be having a pass! haha. so exciting.

ok enough.
i've been typing alot recently.

haha
oh yea. temasek poly is on today's The New Paper! (: haha. interesting huh.

after that. was cell! at airport at Pasta Fresca. the food was good. nevertheless, discussion and sharing had set me thinking abt some stuff abt my future and all. there smth which i seriosuly need to work on in my spiritual life.


hmm.

Blacks Midnight's 7s.
tmr 2pm-1am, and sunday, 2pm-8pm.

all the way. haha. i think coach will be playing also. it'll be tiring for her i guess. coz tmr, there's ntll in the morning as well. oh yea.
looking forward to tmr. pray that i'm able to take proper care of myself.hahha. really dun want anything to happen.

mean while. i have to bear in mind that i have to STUDY. ahha. so much things gg on. Sem 2 is gooona be really interesting and chaallenging. POL-ITE, IVP, Mission Trip, MAJOR EXAMS. hoho.

i haven start on accounting. i'm afraid,...er. yea. NO.. bah.

Collegiate League Masters.

ok. believe it or not, i just got home.
i manage to bowl today. and we ended at 11.30pm- YISHUN.

119 153 107 145 163 97 149 158

bah. haha. got LAST among the ppl in the Masters. haha. grr. lanes are freaking oily. its like swamped. i couldn't bowl properly coz i was too distracted. my knee started to pain on the 3rd game. by the 4th game, my lower back was pain. felt like some old woman. my right wrist is painful too. i think i'm still not used to my Scorchin' drilling. i prefer my SlayR drilling still.
and because of all the excuses, didnt focus on putting down a nice decent shot.. so half the time was carrying my ball, wasn't bowling la. last game, i used my SlayR coz felt that Scorchin' was too heavvy. my knee was like where sia.
overall, was sad that i didn't enjoy my game. not even talking about performance.. but i'm glad to have this exposure. its my first Masters ever. haha (:
grrr. didn't know top 10 got a HAMPER OF CHOCOLATES. and $$$$$$$$$. should have fought for those.

but thank God for the lane assignment, i was with Raymond throughout the whole 8 games, at least it wasn't a stranger. the switching of lanes was kida tiring, but fun la. met new ppl. talked to new bowlers. really an exposure.
glad to see uncle HENRY! and uncle James, uncle Isham, and Uncle Daniel. all the long lost coaches. hhaha.
haha. ok.

i'm really tired.
PLS PRAY FOR MY OB PAPER TMR. 9.30AM. i really wonder if i'm able to put what i've studied down. i've finished studying. but i feel unprepared. ): i'm STUDIED the book TWICE, in detatil.
pray pray pray for strength. needa see a doc sooon soon soon.




on sat, for rugby.. we'll be playing with BUCKS. ahahaha. interessting.

 
Brunswick Collegiate League 2006 

trng

bowling.
kinda ugh.
couldn't put my shot down properly. my target off. alignment off. timing off.
so much so for trying to rev up the ball using house ball.

bah.

tmr is it.
i hope.
as i am R1, ahha. sinful me hopes that one person out of the 16 won't turn up. be it exams sick or wad la. haha. i really wanna play tmr. we'll see. haha.
i dun want to repeat the mistakes i commit today. speed was compromised.

hmm.oks. and after tmr, it is my OB PAPER. the paper that i got D+ and would die to chiong for it. realy man.

imf called me this afternon.a meeting at shentonway. 4.30pm. after my paper. oh well. i'm kinda nervous. also dun for wad. i know i'll be seeing super pro-ed ppl. tension sia.


as u know. as i was saying abt the N80 hp and the free 6280. asto wants to get a N80 and she's a singtel user.. (:(:(:(:. HAHS. we'll see we'll see. she's gotta ask her dad first.. but not sure if the promos is still on.. as i was browsing the nokia web, WAH Piang N80 is a freakin gd phoone. the cameera speciations is freakily gd for a handphone laaaa. then somemore, today, i was trying to use angeline's phone.. e 6280.. ahhaha. it was slow. grrr. i hope N80 IS SLOW too. so i wont want to get that phone. haha. btw. 20x digital zoom (N80) crazy or wad.

btw thanks asto for buying me earrings from bangkok. ahaha. erm. i'd promise to wear... ON OCCASIONS that calls for it.haha. its kinda preetty!. haha. erm. its dangling. aahahhaha.


oh yes.

today. i didn't go lao di fang to study. didn't have the time. so i studied at bedok mac. wah. EMBARRASSING CAN. students from kc in their uniform are not behaving themselves. i'd really wish to have back my tie and really walk up to them to tell them to behave themselves.making so much noise, screaming, shrieking... and with, BOYS. oh my. and the facial piercing. oh man. simple in virture, steadfast in duty. boy. if i'm the principal, i'll suspend u girls. grrr. bann for ALL IJ SCHS. horrendous behaviour. in my mind, 2 main ppl keep flashing across.Mrs sng and mrs boey. if they should see the sight. HOHO. imagine that. haha.



exams exams. i miss those. but i'm not utilising the max of my time.
i really wise that i can retake my o's. retake my whole course of sec4.


btw. DEBARMENT NOTICE IS OUT. haha.
i thought they'll show all the names. ahah.evil me.


anyways. pray tt tmr, i'm able to focus on my OB. like. whole day. coz it'll be the last day in my entire life that i'll be studaying that topic unless Psychology offers tt as a sub subject. hahaha. (:(:(:(: i shall enjoy studying ob.


*goodness. i haven started csa. haha. HOHO.

Denial. just a switch.

studied at my usual grounds today.

amazingly, the groups of ppl i saw were temasek poly students and SAJC students. haha. a grp of VJ and a few MJC. but seeing saints made me (: for awhile. hahaha

jean was there.
gd to see LING too! (:

getting kinda bored of studying. coz its like. i'm not learning facts. i'm learing stuff which are generated by ppl. like Organisational Behaviour, CSA, Econs.
csa and econs are bound to change in yrs to come.
ob. bah. a waste of my time. studying what ppl think. honestly.. this sub should be like practical. how can u study.. like.. perception, and expect student like us to rmrbr different personailty traits. in the working world, all these are just gonna part and parcel of life. we're gonna gona ask to pen down ppl's personalities. ok. if it is a must to learn the subject, let us, LEARN and not write.
nonsense la.

haha.i'm just getting bored of studying. like my previous 2 chpts of my life are suer duper sciences. every thing is facts. everything has a logical explaination and credible evidence to it. now, bye facts, hello fictions.

haha. if KI (Knowledge and Inquiry) is an elective in the Polytechnic, i'll be the first to sign up. haha.

ok. nuff of ramblings as i've always been blogging.

randomly, today i spent my leisure time surfing the American's next top model. ahhaa. tyra, the judge is hot. none of the models really impress me, yet. the photos take too long to load. i think the last season one left me quite an impression. hahah. this time, i MUST try and follow the series. its been long since i've watched tv shows. haha. shall be my motivation. haa.


hmmm. i dunno if its me or wad but ppl around me seems to get injured. daniel dislocated his ankle, alan- his knee, andrew-knee, alvin-knee&finger, esther- back, mum- arm, and many more unknowns. as for me, its stil the left knee which seem to be spreading to my left ankle.. and then my right knee occassionally. haha.
symptoms of aging. hahaha. no offence to the ppl of 17 & above la. haha.
pls do pray. Sg kids are getting injured more and more frequently.
btw. pray for daniel, to heal faster. his major exams are coming. hopefully he's able to study w/o being distracted or what,.. maybe like dying to do sports or uncomfortable or wadsoeva.
pray for alvin. coz he's my capt and one of the higher scoring bowlers. he's tore his knee during, soccer (*slaps head) and injured his finger while bowling 2 wks b4. POL-ITE games are coming in december, and IVP in feb. crucial for coach and the boys team. pray for the tp bowling team. haha.

well well.

as for me. everyday seems better. well or at least, my attempts of making it better are more fruitful. discipline my thoughts and feelings seem to be of a struggle. now that I KNOW OB, i get more PRACTICAL on human behaviour. ERKS can. -puiii.
some of u may know my struggle. or at least have guessed my struggle. pls pray.


i'll make sure that next month is gonna be a better one. its a target for myself at least. no more emo-self and dependable nonsense. i'm gonna be back to me. me and me.
been reading my past msges from mr lim, gary, glen, mrs teo and daniel. and realised how much i've changed- for the worse. ok la. for the not-so-better.. haha.
i'm gonna be that salt and light again. (:
ok. meanwhile, now tilll end of this month, i'm just gonna try to put my heart and mind on my modules, esp OB and accounting. haha. and try not to be complacent for CSA and ECONS.




Denial. just a switch.
denial, just a switch,
jus as we're crossing a suspended bridge.
if u'd ever figure this out,
i'm sure u'll know what it's about.

denial, just a switch,
with that thought, comes a twitch.
when seeds were planted,
we're so sure that they'll be mounted.

denial, just a switch,
just like some blood-sucking leech.
just like a growing young plant,
ever seeking out, for the sun.

denial, just a switch,
and all along, i thought we were bleached.
as pure as our hearts maybe.
as white as our cards you see.

denial, just a switch,
and the clock starts to tick.
distance drew us further,
but our hearts still grew fonder.

denial, just a switch,
i finally felt the itch.
miscommunications, broken wires,
sullen hearts, burning fires.

denial, just a switch,
i wonder if we'd break this siege.
block arteries, tangled veins,
we both felt that intricate pain.

denial. just a switch,
and finally, you pushed the 'click'.
all that thoughts out from our brain
and that's when you defined immense pain.

denial. just a switch,
the future has become so bleak.
my heart is in a bottomless pit.
whom then shall i seek?

denial. just a switch,
it is when it all became weak.
day by day, my hunger for it grew,
but min by min, it is approaching its due.

denial. just a switch,
under a veil, i am meek.
happiness is what i which for,
not for me but for the one i adore.

finally.

denial, just a switch,
and i'm now on the suspending bridge.
try figure out that literal switch,
in Denial, and u'll see who that brick.



haha. 3 cheers for kc. who has instilled the passion for arts, drama and literature. ahaha. the niche as done me well. ahhaa.

 
when i'm with her.. she has the big sister feeling. hahaha. (: 

  

trng ended early today.. at 9pm i was already at the bus stop.

was kinda impatient with myself today. so urgh that i can't make quick decisions during play. amanda, ling and i agreed that we know when to do what.. but when it comes to application, we're kinda unable to.
today e yr 2 vs the yr3s.. really funny to seee them go all out against each other. kinda heart-warming to a certain extent la. haha. 3-1. to the yr3s. haha.
i really wanna quick la.

today was really dark at the pitch.
tp like trying to save on electricity or smth.

was thinking of planning to run this wk. looks like i can't, again. nonsense la. must get out of lazy mode. grrr. i'd better spend my holidays wisely. polys are really stingy when it comes to letting us off for holidays.
but there's quite a handful of things installed for me already. plus, i should be working if my trng allows me to.



this morng, was flipping throught the papers... guess wad. Singtel.. u buy like N80 got 6280 free. and u know 6280 is like a new model kinda phone.


i think i need to speed up on my studying. its scary. coz wed and thurs will be bowling. and today was trng. so yea. i really wanna do well.


OHOH. i saw LUN WEI MING was i was walking out of my house to the interchange today. really great to see him. ages man. he was in his VJC uniform and all. ahha. time flies. i called him.. it took him quite awhile to register.. hahaa. i wwasn't sure if that was him. but aiya.. give it a try. HAHAs. hope he's doing well man. (:


today seems a better day. i still wanna thank Lorraine. she gave me something i needed subconsciously. something not everyone could give. something not you could do. something that assured me, and gave me confidence.
i have to learn to let go.
honestly, i dun think the passing of my dad has taught me that lesson, yet.
though stronger, its more breakable, i guess.
yea, contridicts. but that's how sometimes life is huh.
perhaps, its the steps to adulthood that tried to make me take a leap? SHEESH.

when u were young, u wish to grow older.
and
when u're old, u wish to grow younger.

that's something about humans.
1) u're never satisfied
2) u only treasure things when they're gone.
3) u only start to regret when its too late.

horrible aren't they?

i really pray that God will speak to me, and to, you.
demanding as it seems, i want directions.
i need Your traffic light.
coz its the only light that's able to break darkness.

edit my cast

sunday.
today, i enjoyed myself during worship, though i still felt inadequate, it was enough to make God smile.

studied with eve, char and lorraine today. well, ATTEMPTED. but i only convered a pathetic 1 chpt of OB. i was soooo distracted. i cannot focus. my mind kept drifting and away. worst ever.


last night, i dreamt abt day1 in mission trip in thailand. was quite a deep nightmare. i woke up in a state panic. its just tooo horrible to type.
and u were inside, again. haha. even dreamt of uncle james.
boy.
if u'd realised, i haven been sleeping well.
does it explains my uberly distrated self


i thank God for Lorraine. so much. i love her, alot.


No.
i'm gonna get out of my emo-self.
i'm goona be one whom i used to e.
i'm gonna stop looking at me, or me.
but i'm just gonna be me.
i'm gonna shine through u.
i'm gonna be who i want to be.
and no one's gonna stop me.
coz i'm wonderfully made,
and i'm not gonna insult my Creator.
neither you, nor you, or even you is gonna make me.
coz i just want to be me.



pray for peace, assurace and














comfort.

from the inside out

haha. was secretly like asking God to prompt zheng to intro the song 'from the inside out' haha. and he did today. (:

anyways. had worship prac today.
thanks drew for lending me his guit.
i felt inadequate today. its like i felt that i wasn't able to produce music, but noise. i mean like... ya la.. if its for God, just ur best will do.. but i feel to unworthy to play for service.. like i've let God down in several decision-making. haven been a salty grain of salt of a bright light bulb recently. just so... inadequate.

i'll work on it. i'd promise to be like pro-ed in music for God. allows effectiveness technically.


watched High School Musical on tv today. finally get to watch the whole thing. so envious. i wish to sing like them. haha. sara and to the class of 2/1 (2003) haha. u know what i'm talking abt. not only shattering, but thunder. haha.



bah. music. i want the whole basics of it. i need theory. i'm goona honk on it when i'm erm... yea. time. hhaha.
well.. we'll see how it goes tmr.


btw well done TPiranhas.. we'd scored against UWC. ahha. 8-1 (:
well done to Team Temasek. though 0-8 to SRC, we had gd defence.
keep it up man. rock it. dump it. TOUCH it. *pinky!* haha.

bah.

anyone has don moen 'Thank You Lord' chords? not the norm one.. the cd-sounding kind.

today sch ended at 11am. project till 12 plus.
everyone's rejoicing that all the projects are FINALLY CLEARED.
and then u know it...
the EXAMS.

went to tm with jannah to get her shoes. and i've got cd! HARS. and i also got a pouch that i really wanted since like january. smth i found out abt me recently.. i like looking around. and now.. i start looking and pretty stuff. smth's not me. but i somehow, as much as i like admiring those pretty little things, as much as i'd not take out any penny for it. haha. ironic. i guess its e influence of last yr's grad, 3 full days of pure shopping, just for skirts and all. imagine that.
i think i shold come out with a wishlist. like my court shoes and my nice 'office-y' high-heels.. both are super duper worn out that u can't really wear them anymore. u should see the state of it.
but i've kinda have some feelings for these 2 shoes. the court shoes, was my for my first investiture, commendation and all the big big events. as for my heels, its my first pair of heels. so i can't really bear to throw them.

haha. if u're still reading and beginning to have doubts if this is marian's blog, yes it is. hahah.

anyways.
TPSU agm was gd. ahha. gd to see alvin being formal... he publicaly admits abt he being the 'ah-beng-next-door' and is thankful that he's given alot of opportunities. ahha. the agm has reminded up quite a fair bit if i really want sports club to do well.

i shall delcare that today's the start of hard core mugging. seriously, at the pace and mood i'm gg with, i'd dun think i'll smell an A.


btw. last night. i dreamt of me and stephanie sim. to cut the long long long story short, we saved the day. 3 places- our sec sch, this bus (interior like cruise like that) and.. 1 more place which i can't exactly rmbr.. the ppl at sg's former world trade centre? anyways. it was a most meag-complex dream i've ever had. when i woke up.. i attempted to recall the plot indepth... and i managed to. now, i can't rmbr anything. haha. but i really felt super smart. coz the plot is abt us, revealling + countering terrorists' strategic plans. and we worked hand-in-hand, saving the day. we're like intructin ppl to go here and there n like carry out plans discreetly.. we like tag team.. split up and all. and we had like guns..and all those gadgets. and we're super fit and fast. all those la. we had reverse-psychology plans and all. the whole thing, there was also a sense of something-is-gg-to-happen.

for the past 3 nites. i've been having that something-is-gg-to-happen kinda dream. anticipation. but the preparation to it is always tough, adventurous and tons of decision making. to think abt it, i'm kinda freaked out, literally. maybe God's trying to tell me smth? i've been asking Qs, seeking of ans lately.
bah. i should just get on with my work for now.




no wonder u keep running through my mind
not just this once,
trillons with bullet speed pace


hahha. shall i jsut say,"boy i can't wait for exams!!! (to finis)"
smth we should learn from the media,
"I already gave my best, and I have no regrets at all." - William Hung
smth i'd wish to say after my results.



btw. check out Nokia's upcoming 5500 Sport:
Other Features
+ Sports tracking - Quick start tracking program, Sports Diary and Tests
+ Quick start - Stopwatch, steps calculator, speed and distance, calories burned for walking and running
+ Tapping command or timed voice feedback of tracking data - enables real time tracking information without watching display
+ Diary - Exercise records and planning. Fitness coach program
+ Fitness Tests - Coopers test, Biking test
+ Internal antenna
+ Personal shortcuts
+ Customizable profiles
+ Flashlight
+ Changeable color themes, user defined themes
+ Offline mode: All transmission-related activities turned off
+ Macromedia Flash Lite 1.1 Viewer & Browser Plug-in

 
tpiranhas 

collegiate.

OKS.

this is the end of the collegiate league for bowling. Masters will be held next wk, same time, but there's food!! at 630pm. HAH. at yishun though.

hmm.
overall, our Team1 regained their defending Champions title. and our team2 finished 9th. (: was gd man. nxt wk we'll get our rewards. HAHA. (:
but today, alittle disappointing. 164 168 155. thought could have climb. coz my 3rd game started off with a turkey. but then. 5th frame, started to loose the line, and kept missing spares. which leaves me of an avg that made me R1.bah. coz top 16 female bowlers wil be confirmed in the masters. i'm the 17th one. grrrrr. puii ar. ANYWAYS. nxt wk, will still have to go down with my balls, in case anyone from the masters is unable to make it. hurhur.
but oh wells. we'll see.

b4 that.
was rugby.
played from 4plus till 6. spent time taking alot of photos too. ahha. heard that today's trng they got like personalised positions!! sads sia. hopefully coach will go through again man. i really love my team and game alot. i hope to (: too. haha.

b4 that.
u know my ribena bottle? yea. i wanted it black. so sprayed paint it black. but during bowling today, it got like peeled off. grrr. all the hard work man. shall get a nice clean water bottle soon. (:

lastly.
commskills project is due TMR. finally all the pw cleared. grr. got back my course wrk results..
CSA: A
ECONS: A
ACCOUNTING: C
ORGANISATIONAL BEHAVIOUR: D+
grr. gotta chiong for acc and ob. coz this is only 60%. the other 40% is the main EXAM which is NXT WK and the following wk. and.. thurs.. will be bowling till like 11+ then come home from yishun.and the nxt day, OB pray yea. my D is a high D... so my tchr says that if i'm able to get distinction for my major papers, i'm able to pull it up to a A. hoho. coz our grp failed OB project. so yea. with that thought, i do hope to focus more on studying for now and worry later.
as for acc. juz prac. its jus e intrest that i'm not having. haha.
got our econs project today. i'm gonna proudly announce that my grp (chuan, leonard, jeremy) got A for it! all of us hava A for our coursewrk too. (: i guess its the best proj we've done so far.





i wanna thank God for today. God knows bowling k. coz i was like.. "should i play 14-13..." then haha. i looked up,.. saw this guy bowling the line i was thinking abt. and he got like split. ahhaha. so i was like. RIGHT. ahaha.
He protects me as well leh. coz my knee, again, wasn't that painful.. but was shaky abit coz of e ankle. but throughout the entire 3 games, just with some stretchiing, i could bowl properly man. haha i think i'd see a physio, soon. haha.

i've been eating freaking alot recently. alot as in like... for lunch.. i'll be eating 2 servings kinda thing. hoho. pls stop man. haha. like some eating machine. eat up my pocket away. grr.-ZIPPS-


ok. i'd better get on with my proj. i just wanna thank my team today, calvin, darryl, jeremy and asto today. asto bought mne chocolates! was a really great energy giver (:

 
me, jeremy, darryl and calvin. HAHS(we're proud of it. (: ) 

 
what i've been trying to do recently. haha. forget it. i'll get one soon. 

pandemonium

sia.

bowling trng was kinda of a many-change thing for me. esp when i have 3 games with expectations tmr.
as roll-off was over. i got into the team la. there 1 more cut down to 8 girls b4 POL-ITE games. right. coach changed my start up, swiing, timing, alignment, step, weight, pressure. basically, almost everthing b4 execution. my ball speed is faster. BUT. its everywhere. it even goes gutter a few times la.
but if nice, its nice.

but. tmr's game. how? haven really got adjusted to that tons of change and also i duno what to expect of my ball reaction. abit scary, panicky.
i REALLY DUNOO HOW i'm gonna bowl a decent score tmr. decent enough to get in to Masters that is.
i'm not nervous. i am worried.

anyways.
today. i ate uber lot. coz i was feeling hungry whole time. i had breakfast at 10 plus. by 1pm was hungry. met up with the bowlers. had lunch till abt 3pm. i had steak, plus yong tau foo with noodles, and ice cream. and wasn't very full. had a glass of milo. BAH. so luckyily, today had swimming again. i broke my own personal record by 4mins in total. and also, abt 10 sec for e last lap. (: ttoday's swiminng felt gd and relaxing though at a much faster pace. ahha.perhaps it's the motivation to burn the food that i had for lunch.
b4 bowling. ate again, with a pack of soyabean. then after trng, ate again. and came home to eat dinner.
today win already lor. i spent like $10 on consumption. )x

ANYWAYS. we'll see tmr. i really do hope to make it at least a 160? if not, doom sia.
today i also tried bowling with the patella support. felt uncomforatble. wasn't part of the routine. so i took it out for the rest of the trng. i think i've become dependent on that thing. coz when i'm at home.. i dun wear it. it aches alot more. the pain is at the side now. and my lefy ankle is starting to be painful quite abit when i walk. but running its ok. Hmmmm.s


HAHA. lastly.the song, Blind by lifehouse. 3 days in a row.
mon- during preparation for agm, production crew played 'Blind'. aaha. nvm.
tue- at adiddas shop with solo b4 msn, the song played again. hoho.
today- my ipod shuffle mode, when i played, i laughed hystericallly to astoria. man.
wad's nxt. i'm quite sure tmr i WON'T be hearing. UNLESS biz sch canteen/the field?!/ bowling alley plays it. its really funny u know. ok. u may not know.


will u be happy if sacrifices allow one to be happy which makes u pines, happy, sad?
i miss him and her. neither do i want to miss him or her. coz its wrong to miss him and her.
her and her?
-hohos.

ok. enough of ramblings and complaints

i shall get back on my minutes and admin stuff. been laggin ytd. BAH. gold for it marian. u'd better do smth wise.

just came home from mision prep.

everyday, the urge gets stronger. the want to be there gets stronger.


commskill report dateline is on friday. hurhur. i guess we're progress well.
exam is nxt wk.
trngs are stopping. hoho.

hmmm. tonite, or rather, is emo day! haha. i sound happy huh. but tonite, i just dun feel like doing work. there's my report waiting for me, my minuetes (make that 2 mins), and my personal mission work. L-A-Z-Y.
bah.

and u know wad. after sch today, b4 msn prep, met up with solo in town. guess wad. Catebury sells this huge awfully nice bag for $29! can pul realy alot of things. i guess enough for me to go mission lor! then they sell mr. gilbert too. but its for $54. haha. i'm sure supi and mr. gilbert gang will drool all over. haha.


its been long since i've put photos up here huh. hahaa.
i'd really want to talk to you

thurs is coming.
tmr is trng. better make the best out of tmr's trng.


thank God for e weather today. was cold all e way though.

 
tpsc ay06/07 main comm.
all the best. 

Sports Club AGM

alot of things kinda happened today.
i'll go in order of scale.

first.
sc agm.
well. i shall not comment on the technical part of it. coz its being done during debrief. all i can say that is i'm this committee need more exposure. and as for me, kinda disappointed with my own personal performance. coz there was so much to be done and not done. so much things to be improved on.
but well. on a brighter note, the deco com did more than expected. and really, i wana honour samantha and team for that.
i guess it comes to a point, wheere i have to be reminded to be patient. for 2 yrs, i've been working with very very very highly efficient secret-workaholics. my exco of kcpb05. and seriously, i still have to proudly say that the events we planned are just so well done. not bhb. the committee is really like, everything-is-done kind. and on event day, everything is like wah. even with the unexpected, its being accounted for. yes, we do have disagreements and all those. but at the end of the day, we learn so much. and to add on, we hold highly of our sch values, and really, they're like humility humilty humilty, display servant leadership.
i'm lookking forward to this yr's sc maincomm. there's alot to be done. alot to be achieved. and alot to be done.
i hope that we do not stop here but move on. further than expected.


because of that, i had to miss trng.
coz agm was at the squash court.. so could see the girls train.
i so wanted to be there. they did defence adn 3 men punch. and today's performance was gd, accoding to our coach. and really. i wanted to be there. i only went for the team talk after every trng.


lastly, project work.
honestly. if i'm pushing alot,i do hope u guys understand. coz i dun want regrets at the end of the day. and when its grp work, i really hope that we mean group work. and if u feel that i'm pushing u too hard, do not hestiate to let me know.


in poly.
i feel that its so different. i feel so vulnerable. vulnerable through strength, through weakness. my strength causes me to weaken. my weakness, adds on to my vulnerability. God is so distant as compared to elsewhere. all the more i miss my life in sajc in kc, in shps. do i tone down and just simply go with the flow? or do i still dymacially voice out, hoping for either positive or negative responses? are the ppl in poly really prepared for the working world? to move on? to improve? to simply juz work hard?
or issit just plain me, having high expectations.
u know wad. i really miss stephanie sim. i wanna see how'd she'll survive in a polytechnic. somehow the ppl that makes u. if not, its either in ur own world, gg there just to do ur part and get a decent diploma.
even those close to me, i can't seem to be my usual self?
i have many friends. and yet, i hate to admit that i feel alone.
is my stand still firm on conrete ground? or on sinking sand.
sory to have not control my emo today.
things just keep happening.


Do i still hold faith in God to carry me through?
Why in times like such, we dun appreciate God, even though He's done so freakin much for us.
Why issit that i can't let go?
Why issit that my veil is as transparent as water?

thank u justin, jorim, nard, jeremy, chuan, lying and jannah. y? a part of my class that i'm just thankful for.


all in all. i feel that i can't perform my best in poly. just because its grp work, does it mean i take it slow? i'll still pray for strength, and more imprtly, guidance from Him.



just to share with u a really hilarious dream i had last nite:

ok. the highlight is rugby.

picture this scene. at thailand, one of the villages.
i saw my daddy. in SAS' rugby jersey having team talk. LAUGH PLS. then. there were ppl like daniel, nigel, andrew, robert, ash, khairul, kev, abel. and all the familiar rugby ppl. they were having team talk.
meanwhile. i got my rugby jersery, which was red. my team were also having talk.but its those normal conversational kind. haha. then somhow, i need to find a toilet so i walked up the hill of sa village, into sajs. (which seemed like the old ascnesion kindergarden). then in the toilet, i saw uncle sam(current TP SAA staff). dun ask y he's there. but he was talking to this girl i often see in sch... either from dragonboat/netball. he said hi to me.
then the toilet aunty told me i could use the toilet. (and the toilet aunty is the aunty who cleans tp swimming pool toilets).
then then. i went back. and the scene is back at the village kind-sandy sandy kind. by then, at the 'shelter', made with straws, there was daniel and nigel, talking, with all theeir rugby stuff geared up. my team (tpiranhas. hahah) was booting up. then i told my team that we've gotta run this 10km marathon.
then ifa (the capt) was like... "wth! when and where sia?". err.. after our match lor. around the village. some jawed drop. i rmbred ruby clapping her hands in her long black socks, black boots and orange shoe laces.
its just hilarious la.
then all the while the atmoshper for me is that... tournament's gonna start, smth's goona happen. haha. i duno la. then i see my dad. its just hilarious. that like i get the feeling that daniel was my brother, who's watching over me, and like my team's goona fight. as in fight hard for the game.
it was a bright morning. i duno how can a thailand village and sav be like together at one place la. hahah. i rmbred Haha(my teammate) in my dream too.

i duno why the dream is so super darn clear. but i woke up late today though. still having that feeling that i was late for my match. all the faces were rmbred.
i'm quite sure that the story was quite a long one, but can't really rmbr.



okok. finally.
after last wk's league, i'm about 10pins away from being in Masters. now as R1. grrr. thus, to get into masters, i have to bowl atleast a 165 avg. to have a secure positionin masters, a 183 avg. HAHA. RIGHT huh. ok. i'm gonna target my 540 series w/o hcp again. wasted, my hcp dropped. ahha. i need to bowl well and be on form. i was on form for 2 wks only can. bah. i must be back.
btw. haha
check out the boy's masters so far..

14. ALVIN TAN NTU TEAM 2 179

15. ALVIN TAN SINGAPORE POLY 179

16. ALAN TAN TEMASEK POLY TEAM 2 179

17. ANDY TAN TEMASEK POLY TEAM 1 178

haha all the A. Tan. al an at. hahahaha.


exams are coming. train for it man. pls pls pls. get it in.



took a test. and this is what i get. hmmm.

Logical
Patriotic
Ambitious
Not egoistic
Loves praise
Loves to joke
Fun to be with
Not pretending
Loves attention
Short tempered
Hates restrictions
Loves to socialize
Loves to be loved
Loyal and generous
Impatient and hasty
Changing personality
Good sense of humor
Honest and trustworthy
Influential in organizations
Takes high pride in oneself
Active in games and interactions

someday

Artist: Nickelback Lyrics
Song: Someday Lyrics


How the hell did we wind up like this
Why weren't we able
To see the signs that we missed
And try to turn the tables

I wish you'd unclench your fists
And unpack your suitcase
Lately there's been too much of this
Dont think its too late

Nothin's wrong
just as long as
you know that someday I will

Someday, somehow
gonna make it allright but not right now
I know you're wondering when
(You're the only one who knows that)
Someday, somehow
gonna make it allright but not right now
I know you're wondering when

Well i hoped that since we're here anyway
We could end up saying
Things we've always needed to say
So we could end up stringing
Now the story's played out like this
Just like a paperback novel
Lets rewrite an ending that fits
Instead of a hollywood horror

Nothin's wrong
just as long as
you know that someday I will

Someday, somehow
gonna make it allright but not right now
I know you're wondering when
(You're the only one who knows that)
Someday, somehow
gonna make it allright but not right now
I know you're wondering when
(You're the only one who knows that)


How the hell did we wind up like this
Why weren't we able
To see the signs that we missed
And try to turn the tables
Now the story's played out like this
Just like a paperback novel
Lets rewrite an ending that fits
Instead of a hollywood horror

Nothin's wrong
just as long as
you know that someday I will

Someday, somehow
gonna make it allright but not right now
I know you're wondering when
(You're the only one who knows that)
Someday, somehow
gonna make it allright but not right now
I know you're wondering when
(You're the only one who knows that)
I know you're wondering when
(You're the only one who knows that)
I know you're wondering when

passion stuggle.

todays. game.

1st half was kinda like messy.wasn't any flow, chucking of balls. and no proper drills.
2nd half was much better in terms of defence and 3men punch.

overall. the team agreed that it was a better game. i still feel that we can do like 3 times better to be practial la. i hope we can be like 10x 50x or even 100x better till club standard or smth. ref was highly closed eye to our team already. coz we're always offside. defence line. we could actually like be onside and move up leh. so much oppportunities missed.

on my part. i think i'm still slow at splitting and my ball speed and power is weak. 3 men punch cannot aim at same gap. sidestep too close to opponent so always kenna touched. could have broken throgh 1 gap today, but they came on. bah.
AND. i had a DROP BALL. but i think i ran faster than i usualy do today. smths gd. haha.
and u know wad. thanks to ballet and God's mercy, my knee ar. NO PAIN TODAY K. really dunno how but yea. my guard was neatly packed into my bag.

score 1-15. haha.
we'd scored a try! whee. by angie who is our senior.
honestly, its really her consistant support and encouragement that guided us thorughout the whole thing. really. i know she's tired deep inside, but still, she fought on, pressed on and really did not give up on us at any point. i really wanna thank her and salute her for that.

but one thing made me kinda frustrated for awhile is the darn lack of sense of urgency and the wanting to improve. ok. i mayb be judging here. by why do some give me reasons to say such stuff. like come on, get the ball and stop strolling pls. stop strolling to be onside. stop strolling to be on position. honestly. if rugby is juz another cca for u to get seal points and play-play, get out. then we can train more during trngs. pls ar. if u want to improve and do so. u dun juz improve like that. like wad aisyah said. if u want a better game. u gotta strat from training. basic basic basic. u can't jus be on the field and expect to be gd.sry if i'm judging. but that's how i feel.


but ok la. at least all of us still make a point to set aside our sats for this league. i really hope that we'll hit alll 3 goals solidly and not just-another-match kinda thing.

but rmbr. play and our own pace. and really enjoy the game of touch.


after that. went to the other side of the field to watch contact. blacks vs bucks. bdiv06 looked faster and more scary. haha. maybe its the atmosphere? but was cool to see andrew, daniel, nigel, jesse, pax, victor, abel and all playing together. haha. kind of a large range of age group though.
btw, thanks drew for being my first witness! hahaha. (:
oh yea. we got our jerserys! yay. #32. hahas.

next wk, same place. timing should be the same i guess..
but u know wad.
next wk, i'll be missing the team on mon, thurs, and sat. a wk w/o rugby. agm, bowling league(last block) and church respectively. hurhur.

wanted to go watch fireworks coz i wanted to try out my photography skills. then some needed to go home, go out with bfs and all. then went home with nic. hahaha. wasted can. france last day right.


bowling and rugby.
2 v different sports.
reason for bowling, its coz i'm experienced in that area, been in it for like almost 5 yrs, relaxing, social, train to be focused and mentally stronger and still. haha. trains u to be stronger in terms of physical strength..and there's alot more stuff to learn. ultimately, i love bowling.. that sense of satisfcation when the ball hits the pocket and all 10 pins flushed down, and then u're back, happy to have had contributed to the team. u can't get that kind of individual joy in rugby.

reasons for rugby. man. its like fast, smth to so driven. so much emotions and pushes u on and on. u're nv like uh-bored kinda thing on the field. lots of action and running and sun! then u need ppl. so u need to encourage to spur to drive to push. u need support hungry for that try. its always the unexpected, unlike bowiling which is a routine sport. it keeps u fit and improves stamina. and like, u're always wanting a level up. (mayb its coz i'm in bowling for quite long) lastly, its also that same passion of wanting to hit ur goal correctly and be proud of it at the end of the day. the team thinks like one, and must wrk together as one.

ok. so yea.
my passion struggle. common sense tells u that if u wanna excel, focus on one. i'm quite sure i'll be in this 2 ccas. but after i graduate, i'm also quite sure i'm goona go futher in these 2 sports. for bowling, one aim is to at least represent singapore beyond the shores. for rugby, to be fast and maybe try out smth at a higher level.


ok.
amongst all these. i cannot forget to get gold for my academics too. haha. havent been training much in that field of study hahah.
my (hmmmm.) prelimary rounds for academincs is in 3 wks now. haha. i'd better start trng. haha. if not, it'll be quite a worrying period for mr. sam. haha.
i shall rest today and start-start-pls,-really start tmr. then i can go out tmr.

amongst all these trngs, exposure and especially when pol-ite and ivp games are coming, thank u for praying. and thank u grace, ytd for praying for me during cell. God gets the greatest glory. no doubt abt it. w/o Him, there really would be like, nothing.

this whole thing reminds me of sec 2. my first few official games was the nationals. for bowling.
now. its like haha. whole day thinking of strong defence line and all. haha. oh boy.
although its with ppl i know. haha. i still feel nervous, excitied.

just like a little girl waiting for papa to buy her a doll.

bah.




off it man. off.



i missed sara so much today.
i miss my seating partners.
i miss my classmates of 4/6.
most of all. i miss my exco05. its the best PW grp one could ever ever have. agree?
everything is always done. even if anything crops up, no problem. everyone is always there. everyone does all. everyone contributes all. everyone produces all.

ok. we're fighting against our seniors.

BUT u know wad. we're gg in with a goal to hit our goals. HAH.

not telling u. :p
nolar...
we're play hard on defence and blah blah blah. haha.

though we may know the results of the game,
but we'll nv know the outcome of our game.


today. trng was a kill for my knee. i could have enjoyed today's trng. coz we did sprints. and all. but the knee made me loose focus at some points.
we learnt a new game play today. abit frustrated at first coz i couldn't off load and run towards e gap.. and didn't manage to try it out. coz there were either drop balls and the QUEUEING up. aaha. bah. overall. am (: to leant new stuff. can't wait for sat's game. we'd better apply ar.


it took me slow to realise this. haha. on the field, we are 1 person, out of the field, we are another. hahha. its gd (:, coz we are all nice ppl. haha. (: to be part of this team.


today. i needed to get 2 shirts. one cost $4. but need a min of 5. so i bought 5. sold one to nurul, gave 2 to sis. haha. inbetween my break.. thanks Esther! for acc me go tm get my knee support. it cost $13 can. but it's wrking. i'm scared that i'll be like dependant on it. when i got home, i took off..... WAH. i limped can. haha. pray k. i really wanna play well on sat.

tahan man. tahan


Sports CLub AGM is coming. whooo. coachs and capts are attending the meeting. i hope we'll give a gd impression that's lasting and QUALITY. (:

tmr there will be ALOT of AGM around the sch by the interest grps.. dun think i'll be gg. coz there's cell! am excitied abt it.

btw. did i mention? yesterday. i think i had God's calling for msn. supported by.. erm.. either Zheg Qin or Peter Moey who told me that "if God wants u to go, you will go". it sounds simple. but its like erm.. spagetti. yea. pray. haha.

so many things to thank God for.
so many things to pray for.
so many things to ask for.

man. and i'm just 1 person. How great is our God huh. jealous? HAH.

41st Birthday

thank u Singapore.


oh my. i think we're playing against our seniors for this sat's match. oh boy.




Runner's Knee (Patellofemoral Pain Syndrome)
by Stephen M. Pribut, DPM

Description:

The knee is a complex joint. It includes the articulation between the tibia and femur (leg and thigh) and the patella (knee cap). The most common knee problems in running relate to what is called the "patellofemoral complex". This consists of the quadriceps, knee cap and patellar tendon. What is now called patellofemoral pain syndrome (PFPS) is also known as runner's knee. For many years runner's knee was considered to be chondromalacia of the patella. This essentially means a softening of the cartilage of the knee cap.

“...certain mechanical conditions may predispose you to a mistracking knee cap. ”
Cartilage does not have the same blood supply that bone does. It relies on intermittent compression to squeeze out waste products and then allow nutrients to enter the cartilage from the synovial fluid of the joint. During running certain mechanical conditions may predispose you to a mistracking knee cap. Portions of the cartilage may then be under either too much or too little pressure and the appropriate intermittent compression that is needed for waste removal and nutrition supply may not be present. This may result in cartilage deterioration, which at the knee usually occurs on the medial aspect or inner part of the knee cap. All patello-femoral pain though may not be caused by this mechanism, although uneven stresses across the joint are believed to play an important role in the development of pain in this area.


Anatomy

The symptoms of runners knee include pain near the knee cap usually at the medial (inner) portion and below it. Pain is usually also felt after sitting for a long period of time with the knees bent. Running downhill and sometimes even walking down stairs can be followed by pain. This has been called the "movie theatre sign". Patellofemoral pain syndrome is often caused by the kneecap not tracking smoothly in its femoral groove. The symptoms are aggravated when the knee is bent since (with increased vectors of force) increased pressure exists between the joint surface of the knee cap and the articular surface of the femur (thigh bone). This increase in force over-stresses the injured area and leads to pain.

Causes:

Factors that increase what is known as the "Q" (Quadriceps) angle increases the chance of having runners knee. The Q angle is an estimate of the effective angle at which the quadriceps averages its pull. It is determined by drawing a line from the Anterior Superior Iliac Spine (bump above and in front of your hip joint) to the center of your knee cap and a second line from the center of your knee cap to the insertion of the patellar tendon (where the tendon below your knee cap inserts). Normal is below 12 degrees, abnormal is usually considered to be above 15 degrees. Many times adding to the strong lateral pull of the bulk of the quadriceps is a weak vastus medialis (VMO). This is the portion of the quadriceps that helps medially stabilize the patella. It runs along the inside portion of the thigh bone to join at the knee cap with the other three muscles making up the quadriceps. Some of the mechanical conditions that may contribute to this include:

Wide Hips (female runners)
Knock Knees (Genu Valgum)
Subluxating Patella
Patella Alta (high patella)
Small medial pole of patella or corresponding portion of femur
Weak Vastus Medialis
Weak Quadriceps Muscles
Tight Hamstrings or calf muscles
Pronation of the feet

Q Angle

Treatment of Runners Knee
At an early stage running should be decreased to lessen stress to this area and allow healing to begin. It is important to avoid downhill running which stresses the patello-femoral complex. (!!!!)

Exercises performed with the knee bent should be avoided.(that's literally,totally bowling.) When the knee is bent the forces under the knee cap are increased. Many people feel that the vastus medialis muscle works only during the final thirty degrees of extension of the knee. This is the muscle that helps stabilize the knee cap medially and prevents it from shifting laterally and tracking improperly at the patello-femoral joint. The Vastus Medialis Oblique (VMO) and Vastus Medialis Longus (VML) have been shown to be considerably weaker than the Vastus Lateralis (VL) in patients with Patellofemoral Pain Syndrome compared to normals (Makhsous et. al. 2004). Straight leg lifts strengthen the vastus medialis muscles and do not significantly stress the undersurface of the knee cap. They should be done in sets of 10 times on each side. Start with 5 sets of 10 and work your way up to 10 sets of 10. Straight leg lifts are best performed lying on a cushioned but firm surface, with the exercising leg held straight and the non-exercising leg somewhat bent to take pressure off of the back. Lying on a carpet or mat on the floor is a perfect place to perform this exercise.

Tight posterior muscles should be stretched. In many cases tight calf muscles or hamstrings lead to a "functional equinous" and make the foot pronate while running or walking. This pronation is accompanied by an internal rotation of the leg which increases the Q angle and contributes to the lateral subluxation of the knee cap. On occasion a tight iliotibial band may contribute to PFPS.

“...Straight leg lifts strengthen the vastus medialis and do not significantly stress the undersurface of the knee cap.”
If you over-pronate make sure you use shoes that offer more anti-pronation features. Move up a ranking in the amount of stability and pronation control that your shoes offer. If further control of pronation is needed orthotics should be considered. The late George Sheehan, M.D., sports medicine physician and philosopher, was the first to popularize the notion that it was important to look at the foot when runner's knee occurs. It is also important to rule out other knee problems when knee pain occurs in runners and not just lump every pain as "runner's knee".

Some authors have suggested that core muscle strength may play a role in this problem. Suggestions for improving core body strenght including gluteal muscles have been made. There is nothing wrong with this suggestion and it may help. Be sure to perform the above exercises first, since they are more specific to the problem being addressed.




some websites even states " While you are recovering from your injury, you will need to change your sport or activity to one that does not make your condition worse".
interesting.

whilst.

today is the 1st day i watched tv ever since.. erm.. june?

i washed aircrash investigation, soccer, spongebob... 4HRS altogether.
i ended late.. at 6pm today. but it was early. coz its the first day ever since dunno when tt i took 69 HOME striaight after sch. how nice.

i wanted to study.. having a test on thurs. but i didn't. i haven been doing my tutorials. not that i dun have time. but plain lazy. and, distraction.
i can actually slp early. but always distracted.

its been long since i've blogged blog blog. recent posts are short and weak. i haven to admit. i havent been strong.

physically, i haven't been trng on my own, assuming that sch trngs are enough. like today, i had time to go run or smth. but i chose to drink hot milo infront of a big screen, alone on the sofa. paritally coz of my knee which is still aching. heck lar. i'm suppose to like train.
did u see the trng schedule that alvin (my former tri coach) sent me? i stared at the screen in awe. saw one column which says "warm up 400m, main set 1500m, 10x50m (10s recovery), 1500m, 400m warm down.". ok. u may think, aiya easy la. but u know wad.. i mean swimming and thats for 1 day.
this month is focusing on swimming. so build up is 35.6 km swim, 0km bike, 90km run for the month of august.
IN CASE u are freakin out for me, dun worry, i'm no longer trng for it. HAHA. coz i wanna focus on my 2 main sports. but i'd promise him to train on my own.


mentally, also been weak. been procrasinatiing. i learnt this word from my al-beloved stephanie sim.haven been accomplishing as much as i hope. my bowling scores reflects it all. the inconsistancy. always towards e end then would realised which part of the routine is wrong. bah. wastage.


emo-ly. bah. dun wanna comment on it.


tmr. its NATIONAL DAY..i'm happy to be a Singaporean.
apart from it. i was thinking of like running then swim then study or smth in the afternnoon. but. there's our first mission mtng tmr morning. i really wanted to slp till my bioclock tells me to wake up. haiz. nvm.


i think this is gonna be a long post. coz i'm alone at home, having alot of things to do, but have time to lepark.

i wanna buy 3 things. knee guard, cd, bag. haha. i'm goona like get a bag. that's waterproof and like can put alot of things neatly, shoes, clothes, EVERYTHING. and it'll look cool and nice. haha. smth's gonna be different. it'll be like a shoulder carry kind of bag. i duno wad its called. but i dun have such bags. haha. i have no idea what would satisfy my high design specification. but i have to save first b4 i do anything.


this wk,been catching up with quite a no. of ppl. gary, da saints, da leparkers, da bowlers. thanks to Rapture and Under One Flag.

ok. i think i'l juz explain myself here. sometimes i think i try too hard that it gets out of my nature. been reading my past testiomonials.. words like 'cheerful' 'smile' 'strong' seems to be recurring. however. my life doesn't reflect the sincere meaning of it recently. also, the thought of WWJD hasn't been in me. i cant seem to reflect God's gift of laughter, joy. it all becomes too alummnium-foiled. itslike. i wanna talk abt it. but i duno who to. i have ppl to talk to. but juz doesn't seem right. perhaps i was too dependant on that one person. perhaps i dun want u ppl to worry. or even perhaps, i dun trust u. btw. i'll make this section chunky so that only those who wants to really read would read. i cannot seem to not keep things to myself. even if i really want to tell anyone, i wouldn't tell the full thing. nonetheless, it'll still be facts from my points. one person i can tell the full thing is u. or, the late ms devi. sports. my outlet of bitterness at some points of time. such a beautiful game but was bowled/played with anger. results were quite postive, but the process of it all was honourable- to me that is. music. i'm really afraid God would take away this gift. i have been using it. but not to its fullest. i haven been playing my guit neither has it become my any of my outlets. my left fingers are perfectly nice and unscaly. last time, it was like messed up, crumpled and neatly blistered. evidence of my absence, now. such irony. like i've once said. the veil is all to heavy. but i chose to carry it. at the same time, not to contridict on purpose, i try to penerate throngh that obsticle. duh. who wouldn't be ugh abt attempting the absolute scar. now it comes to this, then why do i blog? to be emo? issit the in thing now? to be heard? or the famous 'my place to rant'. -pause- honestly. i juz wwant to explain my behavour. not that i want ppl to see thingss in my point of view, but from my point of view. i want to keep a record of my thoughts that is being portrayed to the public. technically, some things are juz tooo long and time consuming to dictate on a piece of paper. this is because, if i say i'd to blog to vent, the counter thing is that, i do have a diary, many, infact.ok enough. sick of being self eluded and enclosed and me me me. i really should try and get out of it and really, sincerely be marian again.


phew. hahaha. (: National Day. i'll make myself worth to be on this expensive piece of land that is ever-so in need.

hope it all goes well. exams are really coming soon and it should hit me. haha. hit me man. haha. ok. Happy early Birthday Singapore. i am patriotic.

143 129 161
last day of roll off and yet like that.
for the whole roll-off, i ended off with an avg of not even 150, and i got 2nd overall for girls.
i think coach is worried/diappointed or iduno.

pls pray. my left knee is aching. ALOT. after i sit for while, when i stand there's this pain. its kinda affecting me when i run. man.

i still want to go on trng can.
my v first official match is coming.

btw. yea. saints U14 rugby didn't get pass RI. grrr.

gd news.
mr wilson offered me to be a photographer for TP in the IMF/World Bank Boards of Governors Annual Meetings. SCARY CAN. pls. u know how many ppl are acctually training to attend this AGM. i'm goona like finetune my photography skills. my camera is not gd enough can. he's gonna lend me his or i'll have to borrow otherwise. MANS. stressballs.



.
bah. i cannot seem to heal. time doesn't heal. buulll.

Saints Band Concert

"ONE FAMILY ONE FLAG"
- it says.
Esplanade Concert Hall


was so so great to have watched the performance with the leparkers. miss them tons.
i really felt so (: every min with them.


dance.
music.
and (not forgetting..)
sports.

every bit of it for God's glory. all in one village.




Up Saints,
truest flames lies in high endavour.
play the game,
keep the flame buring brightly ever.



and the boys have their prelims tmr. *salutes.




footnote:
admit it la. u are a GIRL.

NTL

coach decided to send in 2 teams.

sun was scorchin' today.


FOP-ed also.



what's installed for me next?
another firewall?

sajc dance rapture

very versatile dancers


saints just warms my heart.

i'm not gonna let anyone pass through me. NO.


i'm pushing. whether u like it or not.

does challenging lanes give a reason for me to bowl a 116 126 105 ??

meanwhile...

SAINTS
2006 NATIONAL RUGBY CHAMPIONSHIP SCOREBOARD
U11 - SAJS CHAMPION
U13 - SAJS CHAMPION
U14 'C' DIV - CHAMPIONSHIP, NOW IN THE PRELIMINARY ROUNDS
U17 'B' DIV - SASS CHAMPION
U20 'A' DIV - SAJC CHAMPION

ok.. my 2nd hand notebk is giving me quite a no. of prob..