Belugas goes to Laos

date: 28th July till 2nd Aug



its all for THE 15s game. and we really not only had a good game, but a memorable reviving experience.
we're super down with 0-15 half time, but came back from the dead with a 24-17 full time. ahahs.
the Cambodia and Thailand national team was supposed to come down to play, but they pulled out last min. hahas


ok. let the photos do the talking!

Day 1

SG to KL to Vientiane



meet our lodging for the next 6nights.
DRAGON LODGE, under Peter who's a singaporean.



our first meal. very onewas v v v v v hungry. and the fooood took 1.5hrs man. and we totally walloped it up in less than 5 mins. not exaggerating. hahas.



team meeting in room 202



Day 2

goooooood morning.
and its combined training with the Vientiane Lions under Kristy from the LRFU.



napppy time before team run by the mekhong river. hahas.
beautiful sunset.



dinner! had spaghetti. hahas.



and team meeting for tmr's GAME DAY.
and..... surprising Wathone on her 22nd! (:



Day 3

GAME ON.






NUS, SIM, SMU! (NTU had their own Bangkok tour though. hahas)



muddy mudddyy






and off to the pool for hydro at the Lao Swimming Federation. gotta pay to get in and its quite ex. i think abt $2 sgd per entrance or smth.



and off to lunch!



spicy spicy spicy Lao food.





then went to watch the guys' Mekhong Cup championships... under A5N as well. ahhas. Lao vs Cambodia.



and it raiiiinnnnneddddd allll day.
till it flood. went to the official dinner place, and it was really the thunderstorm kind of rain.



drink drink drink BEERLAO. more BEERLAO. drink and drink and drink and BEERLAO BEERLAO BEERLAO BEERLAO.



and off to disco sia. ahahs the club's called Meena or smth. ahahhas. meena siol.



Day 4







went to meet xuyen; the one who coordinates our community activies for the trip.



this is her office. kinda cool. had vietnamese food. all vegggies. totally wing's haven.



then off to the catholic church. orphanage maybe?
shared abt what's rugby...



they did their Lao dances... and played together. hahas.



went back to wait for dinner time.
and... guess who came to visit us! hahas.
the Singapore ambassador in Lao!! he heard about our Belugas vs Vientiane Lions game so he decided to drop by. ahhas

and it was dinner with the ARFU/ union ppl.



and major chillax by the mekhong river.



Day 5

friendly 10s with the same team.
really friendlies. hahas.



lunch with them.
awesome chickeny food man.




and major BEERLAO AGAIN. hahas.
boat racing. sg vs lao. more exciting than the msia vs sg football world cup qualifiers.





and the Lao Bike Gang was formed.
quite cool. auto bikes damn nice to ride on. and the legal max speed was like 30km/h.



and it was the themed night: MADHATTERS!



dinner at Moon the Night.
didn't take a team photo with our hats.



and 2 words: RELENTLESS RAIN



and to Goldstar Club.
music was major thai/lao. when we're at the door and leaving, they changed the DJ to SOMEBUDDY CALL 911... hahas.
but everyone we went back to Dragon Lodge, and some of us decided to go back, while some decided to go for shiok porriage.





Day 6

the last day alrdy.
quick morng breakfast for Lao Bike Gang. shiokness noodles.


then off to Donkoi Children Development Centre. it's an orphange.
realllllyy cute kids. really reminded me alot of the kids in thailand. wonder how they are doing now!





they're doing their Lao traditional weaving. quite cool ah. so young and so good.



shared what's rugby all about with them...



while they performed for us their tricks and games.



bought some of their handicrafts.



then went to the Morng Market for lunch.



and the Lao Bike Gang prevails. ahhhas.
rode around Vientiane.



hahas. and wing brought us to this motorcross feelin' place. hahas. it was just a construction site luh. ahhas. but really amazing how the bike's holding up. ahhas



and its HOME.
awesome sunset.




Vientiane to KL to SG. abit of a madrush with a 1.5hr transit and with a delayed earlier flight. hahas. but heing no crowds, so it wasn't tt bad.



so.
overall, great trip. everyone had a gd time with BEERLAO. aahas. and definitely 15s experience.
(:
though it was super rainy, floody and wet, it was still nonetheless, memorable.

I want to go home.





We won Laos in the 15s game though.
24-17
Was sucha great reviving comeback tt our coach Wing, tearedddddd. :')

had a chill day today

worked abit to clear up ytd's job.
calculated my month's pay. and omg. work so harddd and pay so low. tmd.
still reconsidering. friends are good la.
okkk.



went to amk. visited MS Colour.
wanted to get a camera bag. but i'm still unsure what to get!

its either the Lowepro Flipside 300 or Vanguard Adaptor 46/ 48.


gymed.
field was being used, so no fun touch.



had alot time to slow myself down and think.
i mean like no matter how rational one is, when u're just emotional, u are just emotional.
i gymmed good today coz i really threw everything all out on the equippment. and it felt good. tmr sure ache.




and i somehow, i miss ballet. hahas. hope to go back to it next month!

for ur entertainment.

aching whole day today.
work was tiring.

trng. been so long since i've gone into contact, and when i go in, its like.. damn afraid.
quite disappointed in myself. i mean like, whats up man.
fml loh like that.


so after trng, we had to ramdomly pick out a room number and find out who's our roomies.

and i mean like, dont have to be so obvious right.
i'm there, still there, still very present.
i guess amongst all the hyped up and high atmosphere, and me being really chillax and tired about the world, i was able to pick out stuff. its either u/u guys totally couldn't help but to forget to hide and just expressed out ur very first initial true expressions, or u can just label me as being sensitive after reading this.
seriously! it was damn obvious if u didn't know. just saying.



i'm still human though i know u guys dont really care.
and u know, i've tried. i've really put aside my ego and try.
i've tried to strike out conversations with u guys.
i've tried to clear up things and try and find some opportunities to clear out whatsggon.
but each time when i genuinely open my mouth, everyone ignores me. and i mean like, i'm pretty sure u can hear my voice, not that i'm speaking too softly. and i just totally get ignored. i repeat my qns again, get ignored, and give up.


why do i even bother trying so hard?!
for what?
u misunderstand me, i'm the one who gets the shit and has to clear up the shit without u guys even trying?
haha. i think u guys dun even bother since it becomes another topic of gossip.

and really, i'm actually.... shocked (if its the right word) to know that such things can still happen arnd when we're past 21; one person gets misuderstood, and without any clarifications, deep assumptions are made (after much discussion. and then, the gossips gets spread out of the circle and the hatred just intensify. and w/o thinking of ur initial friend, u continue indulge in ur new form of entertainment while she just keeps quiet about it. i guess those words are abit too strong, but for me, it feels that way since we really did have really hard great fun memories in touch.


i'm blogging this out because i want to be heard.
and probably, one of u will be reading it. and i wont deny and act as if u wont read it/ blog as if to fix things up.
at this point, i dont really care.



WHAT DID I FREAKIN DO TO DESERVE THIS????


i think i kinda know, because w/o any comms with u guys, i'm just gg into assumptions just like how u guys are treating me.
and honestly. even if i start pursuing the friendships again, is it gg to be worth it when i'm only the one making the effort when u guys are just enjoying the whole subject of gossip again and again? i mean like ask urselves, are there any one day when u're with ur friends u dont talk badly about other ppl?
and reallly. i really dont think its worth the chase if u guys are just gg to shun me away and continue to ignore me like that.


just a reminder, if u are just cautious about ur friend, she's not ur friend. u know one day she's gg to harm u, again.
and the best is, GET OUT OF THE WAY.


i'm not that weak u know.
and i'm not that strong.

i'm not that weak because i know all these are just secondary and i should focus my strength and energy on other more positive things. and i know i'm not that strong because i still care how u guys think of me and where's the friendship gg to.


if u want me to be a bitch, i can.
but i wont.
because i know i have my principles and i shouldn't act below my age and make God so disappointed.
i haven't been faithful and living by the realms of the outside world. and instead of being salt and light for God, i'm just too concerned over such trivial matters, worldly issues and me. i want to pull myself out of this whole struggle and give up.


i've thought of quitting the sport though its just that few who are affecting me as a person; or maybe change club? my friends are all over there! ):
but either or, its just betryal, and i've got soo much roots with Blacks. should have ignore my poly touch coach, be rebellious and just directly join Blacks when i wanted to in 2002. things would be soooo much different for me now.



idk. i've said my piece.
done my part.



all i've left is to go out and really enjoy and learn from the trip, reminding myself that i should focus on appreciative and sincere ppl. i really dont think i should let u guys make the journey shit for me since i know there are so many others who are worth the time and effort.
so for those ppl, i thank u for not being plastic and i will want to enjoy my time with u.


this post abit long for u to print screen (apple+shift+3), so just copy and paste its fine with me. or u can apple+shift+4 to selectively print the paragraphs as reference for ur topic of gossips.
hahahs. ok, i'm being a sarcastic bitch here... but ok luh. just for the fun of it. hahhahas.




time to move on and forget it! (:

Blacks Fun Touch 2011

its an event that i always look forward to for the yr.
3v2! blacks. SA, yesterday.
and more imptly, i can play with tpiranhas again! (:





i played in 2 categories this yr. open and u-23. my last time as a U-23. hahas.

wasted for Peeranhas (red).
2 of my players had something on in the morng, so had to miss the 1st 2 games. lost to karen's team. that one, is sure one. but the 2nd game.. haiyo. we're damn shagged that we lapsed in the defense line. ): so we could have made it to the semis.


for U-23.
wanted to play with the ppgs coz its been soo long. but ): coz of jia and sam's knee. so we had jaz and rach to play for us. and we're called 'HOT & DANGEROUS' in the end. hahas. nevertheless, they were aweseome, as usual. but i thought i could have a good opportunity for the ppgs to catch up. OH WELLS. time change..








it was finals vs the team 'Breathless'. ahhahs. awesome team too. used to be quite scared of them coz of their speed, and still scared of them. ahhas. but not that bad alrdy la. but it was a really good game that led to sudden death. and we won on the first attack.










overall, thank u ankle for not barring me from touch.
and it's also all because of the $50 ankle guard. freakin ex, but freakin gd. i'm a tape person and nv believed in ankle guards... until i met this one.
this one can totally replace my tapes man. :D think about the $$ i'm gg to save.





overall, just glad that we had fun, esp to those who really had fun. as in, good competition, but still fun.
sometimes, ppl just get too competitive and totally forgot that when we join the sport, we did it because it was fun.

i'm entitled to say FML.

this wk is just plain madness.

3 fines, 1 lost helmet and failed my 2A TP damn innocently.

today was my 2nd time doing 2A TP.
not THAT nervous.





and i mean like.. wth.


i failed the BUMPY COURSE. its like my favourite-comfirm-can-close-eye-do-w/o-mistake course. i 30 time do, 30 time success. but just today. coz the tester looked at me. i chua tio. nervouse. then my rear tyre missed the first 2 bumps.


really FML and suay.

I mean like if i fail pylon/crank.. then ok luh. coz that one i suck at it. (an today, whoas. all power sia.)
and or like.. i get 16 points and above, i no complain la.

but just for that 2 bumps i missed, i've got to pay another $100 for retraining, revision, test and wait another 2 months?! no kiddin shit. really can't swallow it down.


to further add on to the suay list..
i usually practice with bike no. 139. but i kinda dont really like it coz quite hard to kick to gear 2.
then during 2 rounds of prac (we cant choose bikes), i got like 134, 135.. then i was like.. ok.. not that bad. *hope i dun kena 139* i mean like. what are the odds man. i think got 15-20 bikes ah.
and it was my turn to take the test. i walked up to my bike, keeping my fingers crossed and looked at the fuel tank for the bike number. lo and behold, 139. i was like. ok, whats next.
totally.


since i've been suay all wk, i was just saying ytd that no matter how zai i can be for tmr's (today's) test, sure got some where wrong and i'll fail.
and TRUE ENOUGH. 2 points, and 1 immediate. and some more on my most skilled/confident course.
and the 2 points come from "delay in moving off". so many cars coming from all 3 directions, how to go?! i suspect they act can't like 0 demerit points so much find somewhere to give some point.




ytd, work was suay ttm. out of like 12 work orders, 10 had cock ups. had to call this, call that etc.
1 late, all late.
phone bill increase.
and i've learnt to NEVER EVER use my personal phone to call customers. they can freakin call me back at night and ask me to go down. siao ah. hello. i'm no hotline ya. just a technician.




HAIZ.



when will this suay streak end???
its become so suay that i've totally preempted everything, that when it actually happens, i'm not tt shocked.

shaggalat.

omg. damn shagg.


i'm just a temp staff but i'm working like whooots man.



about life,


its either a $10k, 1 yr, not that accredited cert at ATTC.

or.


a $17x 3, 3 yrs, accredited diploma in TP.




if i have the $$$$, no problem. TP that is. i'll seek out for find the $$$.

their debut!

srss over the wkend.
i was disciplined to sit out.


but, it was surya and chloe's first contact game! (:







they did more than just great. chole was even the top scorer for the women's league, with 7 tries! she should just represent the nation in 100m sprint.





champs went to bedok kings (ping) and Blacks got 2nd.
bedok kings (pong) got 3rd and bucks 4th.

2nd and 3rd drew in point systems because (pong) won blacks on the 2nd day... but Blacks won by point difference.



everyone's so battered and brusied from 2 days of intense rugby.
though it was just a 7-1-7 min game, it was like 15 mins of epic drama yow. especially e guys game between blacks and scc.
boon's awesome step runnnn runnnn step step break with pax's support try was boomz man.
and everyone's so injured! ):
right knee probs for jia and sam. saw daniel in an arm sling aft ytd?!
clair had concussion, vomiting signs after the game and was sent to the hospital.
and many many more other who will really feel the after effect tmr. hahas.

ok luh. 7s.
something that i like coz its more faster-paceds and more things to do with just 7 men on a huge field.
harder, faster game i guess.






as for me, mixed feelings.
though i didn't play, i still learnt alot.




all in all. the team that plays together, want to improve as a unit rather than individual, achieves more.

how suay can i get

ytd, kena fined for parking outside NEX on the grass patch.
and it was like a 20 min installation.

while getting on my bike and on the phone, i didn't know that it was a side slopping road. so i wasn't careful and fell over. my leg got caught inbetween the bike and the curb. damn pain. and ppl just looked and walk by while i struggle to free my leg, until an uncle came to help me pull the bike up and release my leg. damn suay. my foot had a small cut and bruising and just above my injured ankle, i have a big bumpy bruise. until now, its still a big lump and idk what's that.

and today, someone stole my helmet AGAIN.
totally curse and swear man.
heing its not my new helmet.







"Hi,


I would like to make an appeal with regards to this offense that i have committed at Serangoon Central on 13th July 2011 at 2:14pm.


I apologize for parking on the grass patch instead of the multi storey carpark.
I was on the job to do an installation of a terminal at a shop (in Serangoon Nex) which would take no longer than 20mins. Initially, i went up to the multi-storey carpark to look for a lot. since there wasn't any lot available nearer to the exit down and out of the carpark, i decided to park outside since i had alot of things to carry.

as NEX is a relatively new mall, i'm not sure if they have a loading bay or some sort.
the lots avaliable in the multi-storey carpark were at the further end and i wasn't able to carry all of my equipment and walk that distance, walk down the stairs, walk across the path to get to NEX. Thus, i decided to park outside since i would be taking 20mins. My job took me 30mins to complete since there was some problem with the procedures.

I know in any case, there are no valid reasons or excuse to not park in a designated bike lot. However, i would like to appeal to give me one more chance as i'm still a student and working part-time to cover some of my financial needs.


I promise to try my best to adhere to parking rules at all times and will not commit the same offense. if ever i should commit the same offense again, i will not make any more appeal and pay the fine as i should.


thank for your kind understanding."





and like i've tweeted, tmr, i think i should go invest in a wheel clamp. later my bike lost.

chill yow

today, i kinda wanna thank God for the food i can eat in Singapore.
its been long since i've gone hungry.

weather's been good. its hot, but bearable.




idk.





just feel like i should be thankful for what i have.
even for the friendships that have gone, i wanna thank them for the wonderful memories.
just as it is.
dun wanna be sad even if u guys are gone coz i just wanna be thankful for those who have stayed with me. (:





idk why i'm feeling this angelic shit and all so positive, but i honestly feel that if we are angry for 1 minute, we lose 60 sec of happiness. so just be confident, forward looking and face adversities with a smile.
i mean ya, i guess coz things are neither gg bad nor well for me, just all at equilibrium, thus i'm able to say all these.
so ya, i hope that i'm able to say that when i face shit.
gd night.

Go Hard or Go Home

a wkend trip to JB for the jb carnival 15s. ARFU 7s was also held there.
it's one of the stepping stone games for Belugas (our NUS, SIM, SMU) team name for the laos' tour end of the month.




some vid app that bel's totally crazy about. hahhas.
take so many vids until her phone no more memory to store the photos. ahhas. damn funnnnnnnnnnyyyy.



we stayed in the sponsored hotel
quite atas ah. apparently it's 5 star. hahas. steady boh.





first game vs Bucks. very strong forwards.
pity our forwards. like kena long by fridges time after time. lost 7-12



and its recovery time at the pool! hahas.
the first time my FT3 got the water adventure. hahhas






ya.. my coach. boomz the abs man.











and we had another game vs RSC. won, 12-0


washed up and headed off for dinner...

(ya. another of bel's doings. hahahhhahahhahas)




at dinner, managed to catch the Super Rugby 15s finals!!!! Reds vs Crusaders. ahhahs. was hoping that Reds will win and they did!!!!! ((: but yea, was amazed by Dan carter's agility and sonny bill william's ball skils. mad skills man. and Quade cooper makes rugby look so easy, as if playing a touch game like that man.



awesomest waffles. i think coz we're hungry. but AWESOME comfort food man.



at the official dinner (hahas. round 2 dinner). we more or less had to attend it la. hahas. we erms... didnt really eat thoughh..



BREAKFAST the next day.
oh man. AWESOMEST BREAKFAST. nv had so satisfying breakfast in malaysia before. hahas. hoho. the prawn mee soup and scramble eggs are BOOOOOMMMMZZ. damn shiok. was quite full but just wanna eat and eat and eatttt...



whiteboard sess before nap time/ game.
wing's just so awesome with this. u should have seen how wing very AYE-SEH-LY sleeesh out the scotch tape to reveal the 3 points of attack.



after finals... lost. 10-0.
but ok luh, good learning game for us.
none the less.. we're happy Belugas.







why we're called Belugas..






yup.




for me, was quite sad luh.
initially, i was quite confident that my ankle could heal by this wk coz i've really taken goood care of it.
and u know what... on the VERY FIRST (ya, like first 10 steps kinda first) jog line of jog for warm up, my un-warmed and loose ankle kinda slipped coz of the uneven ground and it totally caused a sharpppppp pain.
i was like................. ooooooookkkkkkk.

i thought i could go on. i tried.. until when i tried to really jog on the balls of my feet, i felt that it was almost impossible to do it w/o having much pain and signs of limping alrdy.


and when wing asked if i was gd to go, i almost said yes but then, i thought of the games in laos and i said no.
was quite upsetting luh. coz the games were really good opportunities for me to learn and grow as a player, out of the singapore club leagues.
then again, i dont want to be a liability to the team. the field was wide. and it was really a wide game. imagine i get the ball and i canoot run to score try if its a clear try situation, as a winger la. hahas.
so yea, tried to help out by being the most effective water girl and all.

and once again, i was reminded to R-E-M-E-M-B-E-R this pinch-ing feeling. not being able to play/ train. so, if i'm able to, i WILL NOT give excuses to not give my 100% best. be it being afraid to go into tackle or not. now its like even if i want, i can't.
so ya, i must rmbr this pathetic feeling.



and i'm also actually willing to give up the srss (7s) tournament. i like to play 7s coz it's a faster paced game... but ):
oh wells. i guess there really is a time for everything.



but nonetheless, the trip was awesome coz was able to get to know the nus girls better. was actually hoping that some of us could step out of our comfort zone abit more to not be so cliquish and actually bond more as a team, take more ownership and stuff like that. but oh wells. i had fun and i dun think i should let any unnecessary issues to bother me or anything. just relac, enjoy and learn as much as i can. :D


yea.
wtr to my angsty poony post, haiz. hahahs
i think its good to blog when i'm in an irrational state. so tt when i look back and re-read the post, i can identify out some learning points, laugh and grow out of it.


and yes, God is good, all the time.

hahas. i went back to the shop today coz their signpad got prob.

she wasn't in, but one of her friends told me tt she asked for my no. ! HAHAS.
:D
freak hurh. 电电电电电! ahahas



siao liao ah.

angsty poony

I'd rather have no friends than have friends who don't take u as their friends.


I should have a box of bloody sharp nails infront of me. If any fckers tailgate me at 130km/h, I will fckin take a handful and throw behind. esp when I'm in a bad mood ya.



that's my major tweets for the day. like seriously. when there's a clear lane beside me, be it if i'm on lane 1 or 2 and gg at 130km/l, u better not tailgate me. i hope ur tyres burst, car frame kena scratched majorly, or crack ur windscreen.
SERIOUSLY. egoistic male drivers, and blurr cok female drivers.
sorry for the colourful language, esp when i'm really angsty and not in a good mood as so to say.


all these reckless drivers really make me wanna go sign up an be a traffic police.
not that i adhere to rules strictly. i do break those common motorcyclist breakable rules. but ya, rules are set for a purpose and to keep the roads safe. i mean, if u wanna go and break the rules, do it with caution and not as if the world's at ur serivce.


i've been through some speeding car races on the roads. there are some very reckless ones and very cautious ones. not that i'm encouraging street races, but even if u wanna go to that extreme, pls do rmbr that other road users do exists ya. ur one minor mistake may impact the lives of others, and others of the others of the others ya.


think before you act.





during trng today,
was really really.. ugh.
want to train cannot train. have trained on a healing ankle before and trust me, it will never heal or rather, take 6 times longer than it could have been healed.

during trng, was looking and thinking how my performance and be affected so much by my peers.
in bowling, i was trained and able to shut off all external pressures. infact, the higher the pressure is, the better i perform.
some how in rugby, i see myself shunning away.
i can't perform because of this, because of that, because of you, because of what ppl say etc. its really all wts and useless.

it kinda all boils down to how confident i am; the more confident i am, the better i perform. then again, if i become confident, i because sensitive to how ppl think of me, then i start to retract again.
idk if its the injury, if its the friends that have walked away or what, but i know that if i continue to give myself excuses and let all the shit, or rather, self-created shit affect my performance like that, i rather put myself out of misery and quit this whole sport shit. it took me quite alot of self-persuation to move out of bowling after all the lifelong lessons that this sport has given me.


u know, giving up my sporting life and move on into The Arts scene is probably what God wants me to do.
i know i can excel in guitar, in photography, in dj-ing especially in music, but i just chose sports over that because sports builds one up and teaches us many invaluable lessons harder and faster than music. in some sense, its more adrenaline rushed, and really, builds memories with ppl who have slaughtered their hearts out to give their best altogether.

and since i'm still young, might as well.
music can wait.
but yes, at a cost.
u know, i really could have been like pianist now. not those anyhow whack chords and play in band kind. but those like read all the towgays, write the towgays, and might even have a cert to say that i can do so. and this is something that i've not done, but very sure that i'm able to do it.

other things i wanna try are like rock climbing and sailing, but its not a sure-sure will excel in it anyways.
music is really my drive.
and i think i'm just beating around the bush.







i miss God and i know He misses me.
and if i can love God as much i love you, think of you, depend on you, confide in you, God will be a very happy pa.
time and time again, i persuade myself to let go of you, bombard myself with all ur negative points and it seems that the harder i try, the harder it all backfires.
and when i stop trying and moved onto a path that's finally starting to clear up, u just HAD to appear infront of me in my practical sight.
gosh.
is this all a big joke?!

i really really really really wanna let go of you and move on.
i'm actually quite worried for myself coz i can actually get 电到 by a malaysian bung at this shop while installing the machine today. hahas. idk if my heart's becoming desperate and just going haywired and all confused in denial, when i left and she looked at me in the eye and said bye, my heart skipped a beat- a beat which i know it should not even be skipping.
*slaps head. and its becoming something that i can't control. yea, can see it as a joke or what, but now that i sense it becoming more and more.... 'effective', i should be getting worried for my life ya.




maybe its because my radio radio has been sold to the gurang guni, that my life, w/o music,
is so rubbished and lost in uncertainty.
ok, i'm talking cok and sing song.



ok. its been long since i've written a proper essay, read a passage or a book and i can totally sense my english totally going down the drain, to an extent that i can't even pen down the things i really wanna say and some times, even get lost in what i am trying to say. understand? omg. sucks. hahas. i know the language structure is all wrong and idk how to correct it. this is what i call in a state of being... JIA LAT.



happy thing for the wk, i bought the Panasonic FT3 camera last mon. a waterproof, shockproof camera. though it took up like 90% of my money in the bank, leaving me all poor now, i think its worth it coz now i dare to take out my camera and shoot anyhow and start wanting to recapture my memories. (my s95's all too perfect that i think i should only bring around for special occasions).

I'll rmbr the agonizing feeling and next time when I'm all good to go, there will be no excuses to not give ur 100%.

the sun was a 580ex ii today

whoas.


since the ankle, haven't been really trng all out, especially in the hot afternoon sun.

today was the one of the rare trngs for 7s (in 2 wks time) and i really didn't want to think about the ankle.
into 30mins of the trng was super duper shagged. i felt so breathless, my chest was tight and i had to really control my breathing.
i couldn't really focus on the team talks coz i was trying to manage myself.

damn jialat.
i was reminded, u are damn unfit.


i needed to like re-climatized myself. we're doing runs after runs and it felt like the coaches forgotten about waterbreaks.
into 1hr, whoas, flashing even more and i felt my eyes really really tight all around. at that point, i was thinking.. whoas. my fitness is... boomz. and i might just die soon.
most of my teammates are national players who had major gym session at 8am in the morng. totally respect them for tahaning it through out. and i think also coz they've been trng and drilling in fitness that they were able to tahan the heat. or maybe, they're really so mentally zai that tiredness is not in their vocab. hahahas.

it almost felt like a cardio-cum-speed-recovery trng.




and yea. i was at that time too tired to bother about my ankle. yea, and i missed tackle every single man. felt so useless.
then i got tackled and my ankle got pulled.
thank God it was abt 5mins to end of trng.

hhahhas.


damn miserable man.





been loong since i felt so chuii.
i think i should start running.
like tell myself that i love running. the marathon kinda running.


ioverunningiloverunningiloverunning.








and omg, i need to forget about you.
in a few more days, it'lll officially be 5 yrs since we've not have had a proper conversation; promised to be friends and never did.

with a smile

ok. horrible june just passed.
what a month.



"the biggest mistake you can make is to drift apart from someone you once had the time of your life with."



really. saw this quote and it just makes me wanna be a better person.


i mean like, if we really focus on the positive side of things, naturally, the negative side won't be that much of an obvious barrier right.



the whole june month was really ugh.
with busy preparations/ work/ plus indepth miscomms.
i really dont.get.it.
y can't ppl just be upfront about things? y can't friends remain as friends; or rather, y can't ppl be true to themselves and others and stop thinking about themselves all the time.
sometimes i'm guilty of that much. but i'm pretty sure i dont fake my way through and hurt ppl along the way.
haiz.
i really miss my friends. really. the old them.
and those who are so physically far away ( - social networkings).






mother poon randomly asked me about him.
"u all nv get back tgt ah"
in my heart, i was like.....er... we dont even talk ya. hahas

she went on saying that she was talking to his parents the other day over dinner during the wedding. like how his father was so proud of me coz i of the things i do (?); the mother happy to see me.... etc.
okkkkk. "cannot be his daughter, be his daughter-in-law also good"
MOTHER POON AH. duno if she got think before she speak or not.


but i think that less-than-one-min conversation did have an impact on me for the whole night.
i went on dreaming of him again, another happy moment when we're able to start talking as friends.
u know, one of the thingstodobeforeidie would be to just have a good converstaion with him and that's it. nothing more.
i'm just 不甘心 that i've lost a best friend and a good brother like him.




OH WELLS.




on a random note, i've got a sudden inspiration to play scrumhalf.