problems

its been a long work wk.
and from the looks of it, i might need to be going down off office hours and even on wkends.  if its shift, its fine. but this is on top of the normal 8-530.
i guess i can and should claim OT, everyone but this one person doesn't look too happy. i shouldn't be bothered with him alrdy la. there's so many things we can't agree on. and most of the time, i don want to say i'm right or who's wrong / right, but if we bring in a 3rd person view and its inclined towards my reasoning, does that make more sense?!


anyway. this month is counting down to a deadline of a project.
i'm not looking forward to it coz there's so many things not done.


u know, if you're not prepared and just say that u're not prepared, i can accept that.
or, if u say u're prepared and then not prepared towards e deadline, i also can learn to accept that.
but, if towards e deadline u say u're prepared, and then suddenly, be all shocked of the deadline that's been clearly agreed and planned long ago, and say its a no-go, i think that is an issue.
what.are.the.implications.
are you even thinking?

i'm really in a position.
but, i'm just glad that i've got good big bosses to back me up and support me.




was quite frustrated after the meetings.. so i wrote and email and send to myself since my co's server dun allow blogger or any other social streams.






Dear Marian,

As you’ve realized, what u’ve been observing is indeed true. But, it’s not that people want to ‘not pre-empt problems’. But it’s a culture issue. Its becoming a norm that people wait for problems to surface first before trying to solve a problem. And now, the secondary problem is the problem of people setting into the norm of being ‘unable to solve the problem’, i.e a substantial amount of time before they actually solve a problem because :

1)    It’s becoming a habit in thinking that time will solve the problem on its own or rather;

2)    The problem becomes ‘eradicated’ because its been forgetten (which in some /most cases, it comes back to haunt us)

3)    We keep thinking that other people will solve the problem for us

4)    We have lost that confidence in problem solving without the support for supposedly responsive staff

5)    After everything, we have lost confidence in believing of what we are really capable of

6)    And ultimately, we loose that passion to drive and seek improvements not only for the company, but for ourselves.



And so you see, the problem, to begin with, starts right from the beginning with – we don’t plan. We don’t pre-empt the problems. We wait for the problems to come and find us because:

1)    We think we don’t have the time to solve the problem

2)    ‘Its not necessary at this point of time’

3)    We won’t know the problem until we meet with the problem (like duh. Hence we always say ‘if you fail to plan, u plan to fail.’)

4)    ‘Aiya, textbook case la, wont happen’ you say.

5)    We don’t see the problem leh.



So all in all, its just a vicious cycle that will keep coming back to haunt us. We mask ourselves with a thin breakable foam of comfort by saying, its ok. But honestly its not. Its because it’s a fact that all these (to simply put it..) delayed actions, transcends to a big failure to optimize what we have, leading to time, man, resource losses; and the ultimate thing we lose is the money involved, along with the individual deep inert drive and spirit  to boost revenue. It just becomes another ‘oh we failed to meet the target’, ‘it can’t be done’ issues. All flawed. All white lies. Ok, that’s sounds too hard, but that’s really a fact if right from the start, we’ve failed to analyze the risks and the measurements for long term sustainability.

All these looses will lead up to bigger external losses that money can’t buy: time for family, time for bonding, time for a time to relieve the pressure / stress that has been built up upon because of…. ourselves. Something that not many can or want to identify or acknowledge with.



And so, pls don’t tell me its ‘textbook stuff’. Not all stuff in the textbook is just textbook stuff. These books are written by professionals with experiences. Of course, as what all economist would use to defend themselves… ceteris paribus, there’s never really a ideal time and space in which one can dictate actions and say that it’s the best. I mean there is, but with the resource we have, sometimes to find that equilibrium or line of best fit is almost impossible. ‘it’s the best’ only to be used after u’ve put in the effort to pre-identify the stumbling blocks before we stumble upon them and blame everyone else but ourselves. But look, the ‘text book’ stuff are happening. Its just that  you can’t see the link. Its not a direct link, so you might need to like find the link / see it as a reflection though its not a perfectly symmetrical case study.



We fall. But let’s acknowledge the fall and more importantly, draw out lessons learnt. Not just business lessons, but life lessons.

Learning also means to not repeat it, but instead, seek better ways for correction, improvement and growth.




Best regards,
Marian
xxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxx
xxxxxxxxx xxxxx xxx xxx  













all u need is some love man. hahas.



i mean i can't totally deny myself of all those. in fact, i'm just damn fearful that i fall into that mode. to begin with, i dun even have the confidence. i just have that bit of drive, enough to make me do my job fast and well. sustainability is another issue.







i really dk how long i can last.
if its not the for fact that i'm still dealing with aircrafts and my job involves alot on improving the stuff in the cabin (though no main structure), idk how else i can hang on. also, with all the very nice bosses who takes good care of me, minus that failed teamwork issue of me and that one collegue plus the lucky fact that we can have that workiswork friendisfriend  attitude, its not that bad after all.

still, been speaking to lotsa engineers and i feel abit awkward that some of them have long yrs of engineering experience and are in the same position as me. pay-wise of course is a big difference i think. i'm not saying my position is big or what, but its in the more or less part of the management role and stuff. i just feel inadequate most of the times and honestly, i dun think they have to go a big round to get to the position i'm at? i still want to repair airplanes someday. perhaps not now because of the prospects, its not my time.


maybe after a few yrs, with some money saved, i can go overseas and get a license or smth. i mean yea, i can do the caas papers now right. ahhas. idk i'm so bent on not doing the caas papers on my own. i guess i'm just stubborn coz i do want that trng included, and i'm not willing to spend $80 x about 12 on mcq exam papers that i dont have materials to study from. $80 1 paper. some papers only 15 mcq. so its liike $5 for one q. siaow.  every qns i do is like.... eating 1 bowl of ban mian - 15 times. that's about 2-3 wks lunch money for 1 paper can.

and i'm still saving up for a bike by the end of this yr. from the looks of it, i think only can by nxt yr end. want to take up driving lessons also no money, no time go down and make the opening booking and all.





i really dun like work life.
now that i dun have much intense trngs coz season hasn't started, i can be in the office till like 8 9pm. its like working 5 12 hr shifts with 2 semi off days (because u're gonna have to bring back unfinished work)
i mean i can dun work so hard. but if i dun finish the never ending tasks, its gona pile and pile and pile and delay like mad.






was riding home, thinking about my life and then you.
it was so bad that instead of changing the gear up, i accidentally dropped the gear.
omg. can u imagine such a feeling for the engine. that suddenly dropppp. felt so hurt for sparky. hahas.

but yea. i'm supposed to be excited coz its sept and its the bday month of the year.
my bday is coming soon and i'm really not looking forward to it. looking forward to it means moving closer to the deadline as well.
i still need a day to go lepak one korner. hahas. look at planes. catch fireflies. watch the waves.
hahas. i used to do that before alone with sparky. but now i dun even have the time.








i dont deserve a break now though.
but i need a break through.
right here, right now.
amen.