the conspiracy

ahas. y the title? coz some of my classmates are super into it, hitting almost every vids about it on youtube during lesson. its only when they're quiet and serious.


yea and i realized,
because my network of friends is relatively large, it makes me think tt everyone who's like born in the 1988 till 1990 have some link with me in some form or another la.
now that all the uni's orientation camps have ending, and all the adding of friends on FB begin, i really see too much coincidences. freaks me out to an extent.

and also.

last night's dream was epic.


just when i thought that i'm over u, u're back in my head again.

for the past few posts, i dun rmbr blogging about u. and in fact, i really thought that i could finally end this on going 6-yrs torment. maybe i really gotta start identifying the scar and manage it rather that trying so hard to remove it coz it'll nv go away.



anyway.
the dream was too ironically real.
it started off with some gathering and someone's house.
then finally, u came up to me and said u wanted to talk to me. (its something that i've always dreamed of in real life. i really need u to clear this) but u didn't look like u. u said that u're u. but u don't look like u. and its weird coz after some answering some of my validation questions, it felt like i was talking to you (though still, u dont look like u in the dream.)
(i can't really rmbr the content now. i rmbred it clearly after i woke up this morng. but didn't have time to blog it down. haiya!) so we went up some hdb flat, almost the rooftop 1 or 2 levels down. and we sat on the edge, hanging our legs down in the cool night breeze, finding ourselves talking h2h stuff.
all i rmbr was clarifying everything up. i was crying alot in the dream coz i thought finally things cleared up after all the painful clarification and we could finally be good friends again.
and then towards the end of the dream, the real u appeared.

i kenna conned.
tmd. i rmbr thinking like how and what in the world would be so deceivingly true.... as in like... how did this guy manage to know everything about the r/s between him and i, and fish out every information. it was abit confusing. then i had this theory that maybe u colluded with tt stranger to hurt me or smth or perhaps, just to understand me. idk why and what, but hurt me alot. i wanted to seek some answers.

idk how to explain. but it was like... major scammed big time. all my tears and opening of my heart was to a deceiver yet again.


i woke up at 745am. 30mins earlier.
so i went back to slp and try to continue on the dream. (normally in my case, 80% of the time, it happens successfully). but all i rmbr was searching or something that i dont even know what i was searching for.


yea. that's about it.
i'm kinda tired and i wanna slp. gd nite.