my life at a point now.

I rlly feel that my life's at a point right now.

I'm blogging through my phone, sitting on my bike under a tree waiting for manda to come, after trng. Haha.

After trng, I really felt damn down. I tried to be happy. And really, I expected nothing out of today. But I think I should have gone for Blacks trng instead coz I really really did nothing. She should have told me earlier so I can make better plans.

It all really sucked.
After trng.. She passed me and gave me a smile and said that my defence was neither a link or wing.. So ya.
Ya. That's just what exactly she said and I have not much clue on how to improve from there. Maybe I'm just too defensive on e inside so I'm not giving myself much room for evaluatuon? Idk.

But I felt crushed aft trng.
Ppl dun come trng, fine. Its ok.
Ppl still dun know e moves on e last trng b4 ivp, fine. Nvm
But when ppl dun bother to put in effort despite not coming for trng and nt knowing e moves... then I really crushes me more.

Its not abt me anymore la. I'm over that. But I want the team to look good on e field and not make silly mistakes just because of such effortless behaviour ok.

So aft speaking with her, I went to my bike and sat with her for awhile. I felt tt I couldn't really ride with my mind so clogged up like tt. So I sat on her and cried. Its been quite long since I've cried alone to myself like that and I think I really needa a time like that on my own. And once I felt all good and ready, I sped off to meet her at serangoon. Hahs.


So now here I am, sitting and waiting for my friend. (:
Wah. Nt bad ah... Able to blog quite a handful on my phone.


So why am I at a point now? Maybe its coz I feel tt I'm really starting to grow in relation with my external envt. To cut the whole long confused feelings short, I just wanna say I dun want to evolve into someone who's becoming so self-centered and negative; loosing that ability to be joyful to my friends. I've gotta look ahead and start being confident, and perhaps, stop thinking so much abt life but just live it as how my heart say with Him being my lifelong compass.

Pls pray for me.
Its e start of e year and I do want to start it right. (:
Thanks friends.