ivp finals

whoas. showdown man.
i kinda expected the outcome to be like that.. but not so much.


i predicted that sim would trash ntu 1st half and ntu will catch up and make an almost sudden-death-score in the 2nd half.
i mean like.. ntu's fitness is way up much more. they train like 4 times a wk and their fitness is like.. intensity man.
sim's more on skills, moves and experience.

ahhas
and in this era, NO ONE scores off a tap off like how bel does. hahas.
whoots.
but ntu was the first team to score though.


but 1st half... it was a 3-3. it was actually 3-2 to sim... but NTU played the last whistle and scored the touchdown to bring the spectators to a huat-ah standstill. hahas.


from the specs stand, it really seemed like a tough fight and both teams fought hard with no complacency. but i guess what really snatched sim from the gold is their fitness and probably complacency in their trng. trng with regards to fitness. hahahhas.
and really, sim was really the favourites this yr.

ahhas. perhaps is retribution for the team for pulling out in the semi's last yr. hahas.

so finaly score was 7-3 win to a very delighted and probably still in half-belief NTU. hahas. but, well deserved i must say. hahas.



well done to both teams though! hahas




back from Blacks HK Trng Tour! next post!

frustration

ok. this is getting frustrating.

i want my ankle to heal right now.
give me some glowing thing to eat (like those in the sega games) so that my health can be restored to 100%.

SIANZ.





today was the touch selection for my club.
not so worried for the selection coz i dun think i can play in the A team. but i thought today could be a gd run for me to play touch proper again.
as in also like, start anew. coz new players were mixed with snr players, as well as very experienced players.. so it was like a gd mix and a gd chance for me to learn and gain confidence again.


ugh. i ran abit but really cannot push off and change direction. basically still can't run lah. i like taped alot to try and tighten the loose areas.. but not enough ah.
ugh. tmr contact trng. looks like i've still got to stay out of contact again. UGH.

SIANZ MAN.



omg. i think i'm getting lazier and lazier to blog. today went to Pasta's Inc to celebrate Hakim's bday. great food. great company. the pasta was boomz. and the choco lava was even boomzier. hahas. its at 35 Keong Saik road.

i'm so lazy to upload photos. ): but i'll just upload 3 awesome one.

withdrawal symptoms

hahas. looks i'm like not tt of a freq blogger anymore hurs. ahhas.


well.
i really abstained myself from exercising. even when walking, i wore ankle guard. not totally hating the whole process, but i kinda seem to enjoy the nua-ness of being at home 24/7. hhahas. sheesh.

so there was trng today.
i was 50-50 abt gg for trng. didn't wanna be sad to turn up but sit out and look at my teammates train hard while i nua at one corner. my body perhaps, was showing withdrawal symptoms.. having major flu in the afternoon. (perhaps its from the dust from my humble messed up room.)

oh yes. did i mentioned, i went ikea with the family to get a new cupboard. quite excited. not abt the cupboard, but the new storage space that i was gg to get. however, i have to find a way to remove the speaker and this while counter top mounted to the wall by the al-so-mighty father poon. u know, when he makes his things, they are built to last and he's probably the only guy who knows how to dismantle it or smth.
the cupboard's arriving next wed, which leaves all my things hanging around and clumped up the corners.


so.
anyway, back to rugby.

IVP season hur. with the rain, it was mud-fest.
the most exciting game was probably ytd's 7pm set.
tp vs sim and ntu vs nus.
sim and ntu won respectively. both fought very hard and for the spectators, it was really very nerve wrecking.
eyeballs kept shifting from field A to field B and back.


ok. sim's gg to win. but deep down inside, i had this hope that tp can do it.
but true enough, tp gave sim a gd hard fight though it wasn't enough. basing on game experience and all, sim's like a sure-win. however, if the game's based on hunger, it's TP's game. no, not a biased view.. but TP was so much hungrier and fitter in the 2nd half but it wasn't enough. it was kinda late. i guess at the first half, the team who's more confident would be the one to break the clean score.

so anyways. for ivp, sim's gg to get the gold yea. kinda no doubt abt it. and probably NTU the silver. nus the bronze maybe?

i've not sure if i've blogged abt the tp vs np game, but because tp lost that game, they're out of the running for semis. but NP's really steady when they're facing with TP. tp was either complacent of giving up towards the end. but really, what a waste.




phews.



so back to me. 'me' as in my really boring life. i'm so living a life that's not what i was last yr.
ok, to put things into perspective, u know, i've been struggling in my rugby life now. i'm not sure if the injury's the main cause of it, but i guess it did have a part to play.
this injury perhaps allowed me to sit out from sports for awhlie to look at my sporting life.

i'm kinda not as passionate i am abt rugby as i thought i'd be. u know, giving up bowling n everything just to focus on rugby and followed by touch, wasn't an easy move.
in fact, as of typing this now, i'm kinda missing bowling. bowling has taught me alot and it played a major role in my growing years as a teenager. too many lessons to begin with. but i know w/o bowling, i dun think i'd be the same person as who i am today- that's for sure.

yea. so it kept me thinking.. when i had so many things gg on- managing sch plus bowling, rugby, touch; both club and sch level, not to mention dance and all other activities, i always wanted more time for rugby. when i had to skipped a rugby trng, i can be quite upset abt it and all. so whenever there's rugby trng, i'd be all excited, wanting to make the best out of every trng.


now that i've got all the time for rugby, i'm kinda like not putting that much effort as i thought i would be. its really... wth.
i feel that i'm not having that sporty attitude abt life? hahas. idk if its the ivp thing or what, but i guess coz i'm growing up in life. hahhas.
maybe having some older cells inside that's making me all serious. ahhahs.



ARUGH.



i hate growing up.
where's peter pan?




ok. time's 3.30am now, i've got physio 11.30am tmr.
hahas. not nice to end this entry abruptly, but gd nite.

homied.

my room is slowly evolving but surely becoming neater.

u know, this whole wk, marian poon has been at home?! apart from mon's ivp game and cgh sports med doc appt, i have been at home.

ok. i went polyclinic on monday. got the referral.
and the very next day, i was at cgh sports med.
omg. the doctor is CHARMING can. hahahahs. but too old alrdy ya. HAHA. but he's very nice and experienced.
i did an ultrasound on my ankle... and the screen was really i-can-see-nothing ya. but he was explaining this and this and that and that. and took 2 screen shots. (so inspiring pls.)
hah.

so i've torn 2 of my ligaments. thank God, not fully torn.
so i was like ok.. can i get back on the field with light runs in 2 wks?..
he immediately looked up to me and said.. "(giggles first). err. no. i'm looking at 2-3 months?"
i was like... kidddin me. in 2-3months, it'll be like ALL OVER for the leagues.. (STL and GSR15s) and in next 2 wks, its pre-season trngs, selections and so on. i really cannot afford to rest like that man. and after 3 months.. May-ish alrdy.. scdf time.
this is so not happening lors.


he said that it more torn than intact and if i had fell harder, i would have totally tore it apart. HAH.
so yes.. 2-3months for it to 'heal' and MORE time to strengthen.
my right side took me abt 6-7 months before i can run w/o taping my ankle.
and it could have been faster if i had seen the doc and not wait till 3 months after the injury, realizing that the pain is still there. ahhas.


so for me, right now, yes, i've learnt to take care of myself and rest well coz i want to heal FAST FAST CHOP CHOP.
didn't go for ballet and trngs alrdy.
totally nua this wk out. didn't even ride. too obedient for me to get used to myself.
not a very bright way to start 2011 hur.


but apart from all the rugby trngs and stuff, what's really worrying me is ballet. HAHA. (didn't think i would ever say that right. ahahhas)
the Majors exam's in MARCH. i'm taking CSTD exam this yr coz RAD's in sept and if my planning all goes well, i'll be in the 9mth trng camp or some sort. be it FRS or paramedic.
i've missed the major exams TWO YRS in a row alrdy coz of sch. SIM ate up time for classes and trngs took up most of my evenings.
i rlly rlly rlly wanna take the exam this yr coz it'll be more tough to get time out next year. and honestly speaking, for my injured right ankle, it really took alot of effort and blatant determination to go up on pointe again for the recital and i can tell u that i'm not at full strength and stability yet.
so with left ankle like that, i really need a miracle to take the exams in march. and really really honestly, i dun think i'm able to even if i recover as fast as i can. think abt it, right now, i totally CANNOT point my foot. and i'm not talking abt gg up on pointe yet. ok. jumping/running is still a no no.


HAIZ.

its really called SIAN.



i purposely tried to live a life that's really leparking /chilling before i start work forever in june and now, i'm stucked at home.
hahas. today, my whole body felt uncomfortable and ach-ish. mum says its coz its the first time i've been home for 4 days in a row w/o stepping out of the door to exercise or smth.

there's still many things left undone.
i owe many ppl $$. hahas. no, not i borrow.. its for trips, competitions and whatever nots. ahhas.
haven't been delivering coz i've not cleared my room. its probably just an excuse that i'm trying to make valid for myself.. but i'd like to work some where till May or smth. SEE HOW.



ok.
yea. and the best part is..
coz i dun have the umph to go riding (as in with my mountain bike) these few days. and on the night b4 i injured my ankle, i was telling suan how i miss riding and hope to ride some time next wk or something. hahas. brilliant hur.



oh wells. (:

raiiny

did x-ray, knew that the bones are fine!
got referral.
tmr 9.15AM appt at cgh man.
chao early can.


rainning whole day.
cabbed whole day.
spent probably on like $10 on cab. thats like 1 whole wk worth of petrol pls.



went down to watch the ivp games.
super interesting games man.

ntu vs rp was tight at first; but ntu did their thing and won it.

on the other side. zomgs.
NP vs TP. 2-1.
NP first to score. then tp caught up to 1-1 half time. then last 5mins into the 2nd half, NP scored again due to poor link wing defense.
but throughout the game, TP's hands were really disappointing and NP really used their fighting spirit to exploit on those. from the specs stand, its actually v obvious which team was playing a more focused and disciplined game. np used the field ttm, but i felt that TP focused too much on doing smth that their basics were forgotten.
disappointing man! haiz.



from one of the coaches...
"Life's battles don't always go to the stronger or faster man. Sooner or later the man who wins is the man who thinks he can. Vince Lombardi."



so watching today's ivp, it did remind me of a few lessons.
of course, i v much want to play in ivp still. but actually, thank God i didn't make the team. coz if i did, i can't play because of this ankle. its really swelling and just... ugh.

EPIC

today otw to trng, there was a spider in my helmet. FREAK OUT CAN.
hahahhas.
it was heavy traffic... so can't really change lane and i was inbetween lane 1 and 2. ahahhas.
FREAK OUT MAN.
hahahhas.
i was like screaming and screaming while riding. coz the spider's like inside the helmet, on the visor just above my eyebrowns.
HORROR MOVIE CAN. ahahhahahs.
i think the rider behind laughing his ass off.
i can't move the visor coz its kinda spoilt. if i move it, i scared the visor drop off. hahahhas.

then the spider just jumped off down to my shoulder. i just swiped it away, still screaming.
then finally reached the pie exit. ahahhas. i LOL to myself man. epic. ahahas


so. trng was like 9-4 today.
i really wanted to make the best out of trng.. but i think wasn't mentally on.
then around 10am, we're doing drills.. then i think i went into contact and its either i jumped or someone lifted me up.. but when i landed, i landed on my left ankle, inwards.
like omg. i heard the 3 plick-plick-plick sound.

i was in pain. but because i heard the sound, the pain wasn't as bad as i'd expect it to be.
ice like mad and its swelling like mad now.
it feels worse than my old right ankle injury.

i've got a feeling that i've torn 2 ligaments and probably inflammed the opposite side. ahhahs. i think i can be physio alrdy.
tmr gg to get referral to the same old cgh sports med so that i can claim insurance. its still swelling up now and very stiff. can't move or put weight at all.
limping's also a prob.


after trng, i rode in pain man.
left's leg to change gear. i COULDNT change gear pls.
i was like.. painfully gradually step up to gear 4. technically, must stop in gear 1 but i stop in gear 4, clutched in and slowly step down to gear 1.
painnnnnnnn.




but yea. on the impact, i really wanted to cry out loud. not so much because of the pain.. but on the thought that we're in pre-seaon trng for both touch and contact. Guniess 15s and STL's are all coming up... and i really want to play them before i start working. my fitness is already lagging from the team because i've missed some trngs alrdy.. now like that.. HAIZ.
big SIGH.

i injured at like 10am today. so from like then till 4pm.. i was just watching trng. we had friendly with the greenridge b div boys.. 4 sets and i really wanted to play. i need to play more games and start learning to make my tackles count.


this is just so... disappointing for the start of the year.
i MUST HEAL BY FEB.
i will diligently do physio.
time is not on my side man.



oh yea. last night's mission debrief.. the ppt didn't really show as well on the screen. ):
actually set it up nicely.. but then, it went back to the old settings again. haiz.
but the food was great. felt so satisfied. hahas

bedok point

haven't been sleeping well and rushing the ppt out for tmr's mission debrief.
kinda tough coz i dun like doing ppt that idk how to.. as in.. i didnt go for the trip so its difficult to put photos together and summarise the trip altogether.

hahs.


so the whole pack-your-room challenge has been put to a halt.
but i did abit of packing on letters that friends gives me i realize rmbred again, how impt it is to spurr each other on in life.
and i mean sincerely.
ppl who do it out of attention/ or other personal gains.... we dont have to comment, but ppl, and especially the receivers do feel the clarity of the heart.


yea. and i really missed those friends who wrote to me very randomly but h2h kind.
and those so frequent penpals that i had to allocate a separate box for them. joanne tops the list, then the combined power of the liangs (ahhahas), and then the best 3 of us. (((:
happiness can. i am so darn blessed.
thank you.



mum and i went bedok point for the first time today. the macs and cinema closed down. abit sad.. but the new Bedok Point is like food galore man. its not a very big place, but its big enough for all the schs around man. i can imagine during after school hrs and peak hours. hahas.
(: there's subway, mos burger and all my FAV FOODS YA. HAPPINESS.




ok.
i miss riding.
as in cycling. the one w/o the motor; just in case.

last night,

i dreamt that i was a policeman that solved big crime cases..
and in a way, my dream was quite.. erm.. encouraging. ahhahas.

i dreamt that i was confident of myself and like though i was damn good in solving crimes, i was damn humble. HAHHAHA. (i think too much HK dramas for now ya,)

yea. and towards the end, i somehow dreamt of u; that u were proud me.
oookkkkks. ahahhahas.
wth.





ANYWAYS.
the shirt supplier from queensway is damn nice. if want to go make jerseys.. go there ! hahas.

yea. and it totally rained the WHOLE DAY today .. so cold that i'm actually wearing a pull over and long socks. hahs.

ice3

dessert with manda and sz was probably one of the best thing that happened so far.
love spending time with friends who love.

ugh.


disregard the last post la. was just in the zone. ahhahahs.
i guess why i wanted it so bad rewinds all the way back to when i was in TP yr 1.


hahs. whatever marian.
whatever. i'm better than this.

my life at a point now.

I rlly feel that my life's at a point right now.

I'm blogging through my phone, sitting on my bike under a tree waiting for manda to come, after trng. Haha.

After trng, I really felt damn down. I tried to be happy. And really, I expected nothing out of today. But I think I should have gone for Blacks trng instead coz I really really did nothing. She should have told me earlier so I can make better plans.

It all really sucked.
After trng.. She passed me and gave me a smile and said that my defence was neither a link or wing.. So ya.
Ya. That's just what exactly she said and I have not much clue on how to improve from there. Maybe I'm just too defensive on e inside so I'm not giving myself much room for evaluatuon? Idk.

But I felt crushed aft trng.
Ppl dun come trng, fine. Its ok.
Ppl still dun know e moves on e last trng b4 ivp, fine. Nvm
But when ppl dun bother to put in effort despite not coming for trng and nt knowing e moves... then I really crushes me more.

Its not abt me anymore la. I'm over that. But I want the team to look good on e field and not make silly mistakes just because of such effortless behaviour ok.

So aft speaking with her, I went to my bike and sat with her for awhile. I felt tt I couldn't really ride with my mind so clogged up like tt. So I sat on her and cried. Its been quite long since I've cried alone to myself like that and I think I really needa a time like that on my own. And once I felt all good and ready, I sped off to meet her at serangoon. Hahs.


So now here I am, sitting and waiting for my friend. (:
Wah. Nt bad ah... Able to blog quite a handful on my phone.


So why am I at a point now? Maybe its coz I feel tt I'm really starting to grow in relation with my external envt. To cut the whole long confused feelings short, I just wanna say I dun want to evolve into someone who's becoming so self-centered and negative; loosing that ability to be joyful to my friends. I've gotta look ahead and start being confident, and perhaps, stop thinking so much abt life but just live it as how my heart say with Him being my lifelong compass.

Pls pray for me.
Its e start of e year and I do want to start it right. (:
Thanks friends.

new look

hah. changed the blogskin after like abt 2 yrs on this. ahhas.
open to comments! hahas

think needa get awhile to get used to white bg.
nv have had white backgrounds.

how i spent Day 1

hahas. was actually annoyed by the thounsand and one phone calls i had in the morng.


started the day with helping uncle james and glen with the ppt at uncle heng num's place. hahas.
love the kids as always.
birds + laptops + popcornmaker...













then out with mother and the naughty girl...















exhausted!!



--



then yesterday, Blacks christmas giftXchange gathering at Fairy Point Hill. ahahs.
its not on google map coz everyone thinks its Ferry Point Hill. hahahs






b4 that was trng. first trng for the yr. ahhas.
was bad man! i puked like 2 times during trng. wanted to go on but everything's churning inside. so decided to take a break. so wasted! but was just really exhausted.
hahas.

sleeping's time like 5am and wake-up time's like 12pm. jia lat. needa change this bad habit!!!

gg clean into 2011

(this space will be edited soon.) (:




so today's actually day 2 of 2011. needa pre-blog.. hahas.
time now: 4:42am


so how did i spend the last day of 2010 into 2011?
last yr, i rode into the new yr.
this yr, i did the same, just that with a motor.

hahas. so.. we spent the night at suan's basement carpark, washing our vehicles clean. and goofing all around.







check out the difference.
i dun really like golden rims. but clean rims are nice.




jojo and suan also washed their carss. hahas.



then, we headed off the amk macs with our very clean vehicles. and first food for the year: my fav mac's walnut cheese cake. hahas.





so.. technically, its 3rd jan right now.
this yr, been really late with my new year resolutions. not just posting it up and reminding myself, but it took me awhile to discover what's valuable and really what to focus on.


--


so this was what i posted last yr:


looking ahead; what's next:

1. No procrastination.
2. Be focused in every task.
3. I want to lead a healthier lifestyle, physcially, and spiritually.
4. BIKE TP'S IN 14 JAN. I NEED TO PASS THIS AND GET MY LICENSE.
5. I want to graduate on time. dec10.
6. more overseas tournament.
7. OSIM. my first triathalon (sprint distance). and may probably be the last?
8. probably want to be the one initiate outings and planning them, rather than be lazy abt everything.
9. Be more patient. and really work harder for my goals.
10. ? may God be my compass then.



out of 1-10.. i think i 'achieved' 2,4,5,7 and ok.. 1. here and there la.
3 and 10: i think i didn't make God a really happy person.
6: totally didnt go Asian champs this yr coz of the rioting at BKK airport, and skipped Milo Jnr all Stars, Penang Pesta and AUG. complete failure of this. but i did go Bali for my first overseas contact tournament.
7: erms. not sure if counted.. but on race day, the rain was so heavy that the swim category got cancelled, nonetheless, i did made efforts to swim in open water, going for some free workshops on it.
8: starting of the yr was alright.. towards the end... whoas. like outta battery.


---


so. just a Summary of 2010:
not a pretty bad yr.. it felt more of like a transition yr? ok.. no. let me rephrase that...
it felt more of a final year of my youth. yup.
i think 2011 would be The transition year for me.
so recalling some significant events for the year that i can rmbr off hand..

some ups:
- most significantly and probably the best thing: i got my 2B license and my awesomest Yamaha Spark.
- i'm done with the academic aspect of my life; final yr in SIM.
- first overseas contact trip to Bali with SIM.
- won my respective sUNIgs tournaments, probably more particular abt bowling; managed to achieve team gold.
- achieved sportswoman of the year in SIM.
- SIM Sports Leadership camp at Ipoh was great. caving, water rafting and fun-loving group of sporty friends.
- Dance Art Recital this yr. was quite into dance towards the eoy.. like 5 times a wk kinda thing. more trngs than rugby.
- hah. i was a mac delivery rider for the 2nd half of the year.
- self-skid accident got new Battlax tyres.
- my new fullsus mtb frame (commencal meta 5.5)
- oh. i was 21.


some downs:
- missed out all end of yr bowling tournaments. especially e overseas one.
- actually for this yr's sunig bowling, i could have done better for individual and doubles event. it was really a close fight.
- i actually skipped a few runs that i signed up for due to killer project work... especially my fav: Swissotel Vertical Marathon and Salomon trail run. kinda disappointed abt it. annual events.
-didn't take part in any photo competitions AT ALL. shoot me now.
- didn't go northern thailand mission
- partial tear of ankle ligament in oct09, but discovered in feb10. ahhahas.




there was a shift in my priorities in mid-yr. i did wanted to bowl competitively till end of the yr, but i kinda stopped after sunig. i focused more of rugby and touch. i'm not sure if i made this choice a little bit too early which in the end, led me to forego substantial amt of opportunity cost that's impt to me.


i felt that i was quite driven at the start of the yr but towards the end of the year, it felt that my laziness all got spilled out. i'm not sure if i was burnt out or what, but final sem of SIM wasn't tt easy with the major projects, finance exams; a total of 5 modules. also, early of the year, i did try to go back church. but it was futile and i succumbed to my worldly distractions. i do attend the end of year festive occasions, but it wasn't a genuine act of faithfulness ... but more so to just enjoy myself and reminiscing past yr annual happy events.


but the on going struggle was to commit time for God. and i believe it will still be a struggle unless i put in more effort in correcting it. and i think also because i reallly haven't been spending time with The Word, my responses / character/ thinkings, might have been swayed away and i wasn't as joyfully positive as i can be. decisions made weren't really God-honouring and faithful.


--



so!
looking ahead:

1. Learning to let go; taking setbacks very positively and objectively.

2. Be an overall genuinely happy positive girl again and genuinely kind. hahas.

3. Be disciplined in health and fitness. Focused

4. Learning to put God as the center of everything once again.



i think just these 4 will do? hahas. for now. always add alot but in end, not too focused.
but i think more so as a person, i wanna be better. like in character building and being responsible and trust-worthy.
i need to get back where i left off.