today i got my results a few hours ago. i actually have
i should be doing my fyp now, but just let me have 30mins of my time bah. hahas
so yes. let's go in order of the transcript.
EAS437 RCM.
its a mod that i aimed for A. but after the paper, i felt like it was a A- possible B+. so seeing a A- to that module code felt very neutral. its like, i want to feel happy, but at the same time, it's always the 'it could have been better'. if u really want to put a feeling to it.. i'd say.... A-.
ENG311 DSP
this one best.
i think i blog about this module before. this is the module that everyone aerospace / electronics student will talk about. other than EAS309 Flight Dynamics and ENG201 Linear Systems, this is probably the 2nd toughest mod. initially, i was aiming for a pass. firstly, its an electronics mod. 2ndly, it alrdy has a notorious ring to it. but as i studied and pushed to overcome my fears, i put in so damn bloodly much effort that the whole 2019 July sem could be summaried as 'ENG311'. each time i studied another subject, i'd somehow come back to this. at some encouraging moments in my revision, i was working towards an A+ bro. i did every single possible qns. i re-did some qns.... i practiced so hard that during the exam, when i first saw the qns, i raised my hand and told the lecturer that he set the qns wrongly. hahahs. before even working it out, i knew that the equation was not solveable. he didn't trust me and told me to read the qns properly. i even replied 'if the eqn is really this, then i think i'm not doing this qns', and then (tried to politely) flipped the qns paper infront of him. ahhahas. 20mins later, he came back to the examination room and informed everyone about the mistake in the qns. that subtly victorious moment. but it wasn't all enough to get an A THOUGH.
i mean after the exam, after the exchange of ans with my friends, i knew i had some calculation error. but that's the prob.. because there were answers to even exchange and talk about, i knew that this sem was a relatively easy paper and it would be harder to be differentiated to get an A.
so after the paper, i sort of knew that to get an A was abit hard. i think my deepest conscience knew that i'm probably riding on an A-, but my ego was telling me that i should be getting an A coz of the freaking amount of effort and dedication i put in. i mean, some of my friends were even asking me how to teach them some qns. i'm mean i'm not bragging coz i dont understand shit, i just knew how to get the ans and pass the exam. ahhahas.
but ok, i do have to admit one subtle credit - you.
b4 entering 2019 Jul sem, i did tell u about my fears in dsp and u told me that i could do it.
no, i didn't really have that level of belief to work hard just bc u told me that i could do it. but i rmbr u telling me that dsp was ur thing. i guess being tripleE, it was also like a language u can really understand. so i guess, a part of me strive to work hard to try and understand what u would understand. i think it was pretty pointless of me to have such a motivation since u dont want me anymore, but i guess it was subtly a gd point coz in my darkest of DSP moments, it was that drive that kept me pressing on for answers to that meaningless ejkn. hahhas. idk. some days i felt hope, but most of the days was just validation that u're no longer within communication range.
so anyways, A-. ok. feels like... my relationship with u. though i wanted an A or even an A+, it was something that i could only own, while it was something that you could give. an A but with a minus to it. HAHAH WTS but ya. literature. metaphor. whatever lameshit.
HFS303 SAFETY, RISK AND RESILLIENCE ENGINEERING.
this one big disappointment. i expected this to get an A. no less. i dont have an excuse for a B+. i had a 3-day gap to study after the previous paper. this is something i'm good in. something that i was actually paid for to do when i was working as a BD. i even conducted some meetings and trngs before. BUT I GOT A B+. and to add on, my grp report (which i tanked this) got the highest in the whole level. so to get a personal grade of B+ was very disappointing. i really needed this to be A coz if not, for next sem's mods, i'd need to ACE all the 3 mods which are mods that not in my comfort zone. idky how, but i do want to 'blame' it on the strict marking. maybe i deserve a A- coz i didn't put in as much as effort as ENG311, but i still studied hard for this coz i knew i had to secure a A. so this B+ really stood out when i saw my result slip today. i probably need a few more days to just accept it, but rn, i just feel like, WHY SIA.
SST102 HUMAN FACTORS AND SYSTEMS DESIGN
ok, this A+, i can generally say that its something i dont deserve given the amount of respect i give to this module. i didn't study much for this module, coz its also something i'm good and so exposed to (at work trngs) also coz everyone say it's an ez mod. the paper was on the day after ENG311 so i only started studying proper the evening before. on the night b4 the paper, my friend and i actually felt like we shouldn't go for the paper. take next sem or smth. coz while studying / doing past yr papers, we realized that there's so much we couldn't do. close book somemore. but an angel sent another classmate to randomly msg me to check out the revision classroom recording. so at about 11pm, i was gg through the revision lecture recording. so at about 1am, i decided to LET'S DO THIS.
slept at about 3am. then started studying again at 9am.... and it also helped that the paper was a 4pm.
i really crammed like mad. and while doing the paper, i really felt so damn good about it. but all that last min studying and cramming really did actually cause a physical headache. i also needed to pee during the exam, so i decided to leave 40mins b4 time's up coz i just wanted to just get over and done with. i did feel confident to leave my answers just as that. i knew that there were only 2 small parts of the big qns that i didnt knew, but other than that, the rest was like... 100%. so after i pee-ed and rested my head awhile, i do feel that an A+ was pretty achievable.
so to see the A+ for this mod, it was also a very mixed feeling.
happy coz it's something i did expect in the end, but feeling abit undeserving coz i didnt put in as much effort and respect as i did with other mods.
okok. 30mins is almost up and i think i shld start working to get my A.
so to try and summarize all these emotions, i'm grateful, slightly, but still feel like just fell short of something that was within my reach in the end. sounds like my r/s with u again. but hahas, it's all the same, u wont get what u want. hahahahs.
ok. i need to get A for this FYP (EAS499).
looking at my project, i feel like its damn damn far fetched, but i think its worth a fighting try.
it's pretty crazy, coz i really cannot afford a single A-, especially when all the remaining mods are programming. not much better than my level of understanding for electronics. a single A- for any of the 3 remaining mod will throw me in a 3.99 situation. only scoring all As will put me in 4.01.
idk how i'm gg to do this, but i think its still abit early to lose hope.
come on, sportspoon. i can do this.
if i can overcome any heartbreaks, i think programming is survivable? HAHA. meh.
ok i dont only need to survive, i need to thrive.
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