i usually start the year with a post to reflect the past year. so here i am, doing a ritual post about my life in 2013.
2013. its probably a year that i would forget. that's quite sad to say, but its
the most exciting highlight of the year is probably getting my first full time job in Singapore JAMCO. actually that's not v exciting. the more exciting part of it was that since the company was a major subsidiary of siaec, i was able to take a trip down the path of my dad once did. got to know more of his friends... and more importantly, (with a business & longlostfriends mindset,) got to extend my contacts in the Aviation Industry. through the job, i'm more exposed to many aspects of this industry.
oh yea, and i got promoted? haha. whatever, coz its still not the track that i'm really looking forward too. oh yes, and still eventually getting rejected from ec's lae trainee prog after all these yrs. still stubbron. still headstrong.
and if really doors keep closing, i might as well just leave this whole industry. abandon this dream. i guess i can do that since i've still got that bit of passion left for other things like being a playing a part in national defense or simply be a paramedic since the fireman thing is a big no coz of the height. though its definitely a step way back that's not advisable, at least if i do it and though i may not like it, i do know that i've done it and confirm that its not it. yea, mother poon won't be that proud of me. and i'll just be wasting my years away.
getting a job is easy. but getting a job that u really like and pays well is not.
hmmmm. other than that, i can't really rmbr anything off hand man.. okok. besides many friends getting married, pregnant.. and towards the end of the year, suddenly got an influx of friends who's otw to their 2nd child. totally likka MRO there man.
ok. hmm...went for mission trip... top student in attc... my first 14km urbanathalon.. ya. that's about it! sigh! our nepal / train trip didn't happen in this yr, again. didnt do much biking adventures nor any memorable night cycling. not even any epic malaysian trips! bah.
bah. life was more about aviation and the career part of it. so i guess that's justifiable.
as for the sports/ arts side... didn't dance the whole yr coz of the trngs. its the routine annual competitions. towards the end of the year, especially after mission trip, i have to admit, sometimes i slack at trng and can find no reason to give my 100%. i guess its because of work and all, i'm starting to question my priorities and drive in life.
on a deeper side to the year, i can feel my attitudes veering in and out of track. because of mission trip, i'm finally back at church. its not so daunting to wake up on a sunday and make my way to church.
throughout the year, lost more friends than ever.
ok, not really physically losing them to death as per se. so i just wanna thank God that i dont think any of my friends passed away this yr, unlike in one of the years.
this is maybe one of the many parts in life u can't really escape; u start to loose contacts of your close friends coz as we grow older, we get other commitments surfacing up our priority list. didnt have much meet-ups with the old friends.
we all gain some, we all lose some.
but this yr, one major disappointed is that i've lost one impt friend in my life.
because of the many many reasonable and yet redundant reasons, we just couldn't make things work and this is probably going to be one of the bigger regrets in my life. its like a stone being embedded in the drying cement, once removed, there's this.... indent. and with the old indentation, it just gets deeper, more hurtful and more prominent. u can't really do anything to resolve it but to just deal with it.
as for u, i dont know if u're going to be reading this space, but i sincerely hope that u've forgotten all about the sad part of me and found someone worth spending happy and sad times with. may u have a more positive outlook on everything and be able to live a life how you want it to be. i'll still be praying for you and wishing you a smooth journey ahead.
and so, towards the end of the year, i found myself struggling alot with my own issues. i felt alone and helpless at times, almost to a point where sometimes i think i can't deal with it. its always the case when u start to loose something u've once have, u can't really get back to the form you're once in - when u didn't have that the person in ur life to begin with. Independence was probably one of my character trait many years ago and on the contrary, as i grow older, it starts to feel that i'm starting to get dependent on the many other things and people. so with that, the feelings of being all alone with so many friends just exist so stubbornly. its to some point where u start questioning your existence, your future, and just yourself.
so anyways! moving on. to.... 2014.
there was work on the 31 dec and tomorrow, so perhaps, i can't really see that imaginary 'distinct change' into the new year. how about some primary new year resolutions?
1. the mandatory... get closer to God.
2. be physically fit and not slack at trngs. a more disciplined sportspoon
3. i want to settle down in job that i'm passionate in. target: march. if not.....
4. i need to learn to love myself more and probably seriously start learning to dress likka office lady.
5. save more money. go more adventures. climb more mountains. eat more street food.
6. repeat 5 and get my Super4 as the value for my bike will depreciate tremendously this yr
7. be a more loyal friend and take out more time for my friends and love ones.
8. buy less waterbottles and bags.
9. to trust and learn to let go of the things that i have decided to pick up.
10. to enjoy 2014 and at least make it a memorable one.
happy new year.
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