misunderstood

i dun like being misunderstood.


today during b class.
xy and i came earlier for class so that we can go through the dance tgt.
the clock showed 5.30pm, xy and i were still gg thorugh the dance while the rest were on the ground putting on their shoes.

tchr told us to start with barre. since we're finishing the last part and the rest was still on the ground putting on their shoes, we wanted to quickly finish up the last set of 8.
so when we're abt to go to the barre, she was upset that we didn't listen and stuff, so she played the dance music instead of the barre music.

ok.

so both of us upset.



ok, sorry that we didn't show respect and stuff.


we came early. wanted to run through stuff.
no one was ready.
on our part, yea, can blame it on the respect stuff. but i was just upset that u responded by playing the dance music like as if putting us as tchrs who make the decisions.

i want to clarify that
1) we dont mean to disrespect u.
2) what if i try to say that we're trynig to warm up using the dance?

ok. i'm just being defensive and fighting for myself right now la.
fine. i'll just admit that i'm probably taking the friendship for granted, but i'd like to clearly say that i do take the classes seriously.



whatever la.


just to vent.
since xy and i didn't get to take part in the intermediate exam, we're quite disappointed and discouraged by that. yea. u mean us well and stuff. but i think we should be given a choice. or let us know earlier or smth.

was thinking abt this really recently.

i duno if i still wanna continue doing b.
cannot seem to find that drive to do well anymore.

i'm using this yr end's recital to see how.
but one thing for sure, i'd be wanting to complete intermediate next yr, and i want to do it well.
and if i'm not allowed/encouraged to do the dance, its ok.
i'll find my way out;
just do tap, and do it extremely well which i really love.



i'm hoping that u read or dun read this post.
if u read, u'd probably be angry and irritated but at least know how i feel.
if u dun read, best. coz things will just remain as it is, i will leave it as a teacher-student relationship, complete the recital, do it well and that's it. gg focus on intermediate on v's class. (not abt u, but its coz she's teaching that grade for next yr.)




whatever la.



for now, exam's 2 wks away and i'm not being serious abt it.
class test out and i've really sucked at it.





UGH. I NEED A LIFE.
stop living as if passing this exam is just gg to be the same as playing rugby or bowl.






i feel so irritated with myself, with things, with life, with situations, with you.
i dun think i deserve space. i need to punish myself, maybe by studying hard.
come on. the last yr u are gg to study. pls enjoy it. no, seriously.



kill me now.