eXtra.

bah.


now they have a CCA priority list.
if only i had that in my time.

then, i can just escape the useless claws of U. L. K. who just knows how to drink coffee with mum and suck in the sch's money.

then, life would be different for me now.
things would be better.
more pleasant.




i really want to get better.
not just to prove to anyone, but make myself feel more confident.
and then, ppl won't give ugly judgments so much.




been hearing things abt 21st dec 2012.
the end of times.
abt planet X and its catastrophic effects.
it seemed to be linked with how the Bible puts it as the coming of Christ, the death of the earth, the end of an era. however, in the Bible, it states that no one knows and no one will know when it'll happen.
however, the sheer similarities between those ppl of gives scientific explainations and the Word of God just gives me an eerie feeling that it may be true. but then again, no one knows.


at the current state of me,
i may just as well be left behind.
i dont want that.
but then again, i deserve it.
i say that i am not worthy of His love. but then again, God is ultimately gracious and forgiving, yet jealous. i, knowing that's right and wrong, chooses the wrong thing. its like u're at the fork of the road, at the entrance of a wrong beginning.
for now, it may just be wrongful mental choices and decisions. next time, it'll be the deadly actions.


i just dont know what i want.
i dont know what i want to achieve out of all of this. i know it really doesn't matter in the end and it's only ur relationship with God is impt.
then here i am, not bothering to maintain it. its more like.. being lazy to do something abt it.


pray for me i guess.
i'm probably just a wrong sheep, limping in an assumption that i'm doing the wrong things right. if my life has to end now, i am gg to be v disappointed. does God have a liquid-paper that erases my name off the book of life?
darn scared. afraid and yet, stubborn.