forget it

maybe i should just stop shooting seriouslyy.
i should start shooting for MY passion. and to amplify God's creation.
I DO NOT want to shoot for ppl anymore.
seriouslly.
i was so so angry just now. i dun want to talk abt anything.
i might as well sell all my camera stuff away, get a good point and shoot, and take the remaining money and spend it on music.

jsut forget abt photography.
no one appreciates the hard work. complain and complaint, and instruct me what to do in a condesending tone. thanks hur.
i'm sorry. coz i'm only there to shoot FOR MYSELF. not for YOU msperfect.
and sorry, i'm not gonna post the pics up online, coz u wouldn't appreciate it and would further complain.

i should just forget abt everything. just do my sports, studies and music. enough.
i'm goona STOP project 365. although i've eben faithfully taking photos EVERYDAY, forget it. its not gg to work like that.

so for my long term goal as being a photojournalist or gg into NUS to do CNM, forget it. i'll just stick with Marketing. excel in there. get gd pay, have gd family and thats it.


it just feels as if my aeota (forgot spelling)), the largest blood vessel that is from my heart has burst. i just feel like giving everything up.
in a gd way, surrending them all to God
its not goona work it Man keeps putting unnecesary pressure on me.


i duno if God wants me to go mission this year. i thought i was so confident for gg, even to the extent of filling up the form. but no. i do not want to be tied down. why? i just feel in gg there to reach out physically, take a few shots for the villagers and myself and to amplify God's creation, not for fellow luxury.






i'm just so sinful today.

i dun want to go sch tmr.
sch starts at 9AM.
my notes are all at the photoshop downstairs. won't have notes tmr. argh. i'm so irritated. i can't do my tutorials nor anything.
i'm jsut so useless.

i should just stop trying so hard all for nothing. and wads more discouraging, ppl become more demanding rather than appreciative. i'm not asking for any thank u wad. i just want u to appreciate and not treat me as if i'm there to shoot for u.
i think i've said enough. the more words i say, the more it displeases God. i'm sorry.this post was supposed to be dedicated to my mum.but anger overtook all my love.

but on a gd note, it felt gd to be able to play for worship with nigel again.
thank u.