white.

i was so tired.. so after settling some stuff at cybercenter and SAA, i went home to sleep.

i had a dream.

a v intense and real one. i mean in terms of content wise, i'm kinda shocked by the depth, intesity and sensitivity of it.
i woke up, when the girl jump off, leaving me gasping for air, literally.

ok. it all started.. quite mixed up.
i was the bird-eye view kind. and like someparts, i'm that girl, and someparts, i'm watching from afar. ok.
briefly..

all dreams pls.

it started with gaberial's shots of his earphones. ( which is actually true click here for actual visionary)
it got featured on the The Newpaper towards the end.
next scene,
at this white shop. with different departments. and this girl in a white gown.. those flowergirl kind... came in with her grp for friends dressed at their sunday best. the shop was really white, and have glass panels here and there. there were 2 empty rooms if i'm not wrong, a few office workers inclusive of one causian guy, wearing red checkered shirt and black squared frame spects. (he looks like our psycho lecturer- jeff neufeud). yea. ok. enough of description.

then the girl was in the shop with her friends, the she saw another girl who dressed like her. (ok the confusion starts here). she wanted to take a photo with her. the other girl(lets just name her emily) walked toweards the white girl, without saying anything. then while emily was reaching the wite girl, emily's coworkers looked at the happenings. then they got quite wierd. they were reluctant and didnt want emily to take a photo with the white girl. then the white girl got upset and sad.
she said smth like "why can't she take a photo with me? she's a girl right. i can't possibly be together with her right!" her voice was desperate. then she got a reply smth like "u'll never know. u are like blah blah blah" (i can't rmbr the words.. but it was smth to do with her personality, not her looks or anything)
then everyone got back to work, leaving the white girl quite desperate. (i felt her desperation so deeply) she approached the caucasian guy who was just then, using the chopper to cut paper and questioned him. he said smth.. i can't rmbr wad.. and sent the white girl trying to get out of the shop.
howver, somehow, she wasn't able to get out. her friends were outside, watching her cry for desperate help. she banged on the glass panels.. running to and fro.. i can't rmbr if she was being chased or wad. but she kept running.
it went on for quite awhile, (myheart was pounding). i felt as though iwas the girl. the ppl in the shop didn't allow her to get out, instead, mock at her and stuff like that.
in devastation, she ran into one of the empty rooms, which had sliding glass panels that were framed up with white metal. one of the woker quickly (but not in concern) followed her to room. they exhanged words.(i was watching from above) and the girl started to oopen the windows. the guy just stood there and watch.
watching her get ready to jump. by then, i felt that i was the girl who wanted to take the plunge. any my heart was racing, i felt myself waking up, but then dying back into my sleep again.
i looked down. and then, i looked back at the guy who was watchin me. i saw 2 steps off the ledge, but they were quite far and narrow. accross, was a larage concerete surface and i tried to figure out how to get there. i felt that i was in a hurry. i took the first step with my hands clinged tighlty to the window ledge, wanting to escape/end it all, but at the same time, trying to find a way to survive.
i was gasping for air.. and then.

yea. i woke up. and it was 8pm already


everywhere was dark coz my mum went malacca with my aunt and family for a short holiday. she wanted to go there coz my dad was from there. she wanted to go with the whole family, but we alwasy seem to not hac a chance. my mum is kinda sad that our family didn't get to go malacca together when dad was aroud though.

anywyas. back to the dream.
its really the most downtoearth kinda dream. so much emos and political stuff. it was like. i duno la. to me, alarming. i mean like i could the white girl so close, as if i was the one.
ok. i sound psyhotic.

anyways.

its the first sat i'm dreading. tmr, i have accounting test. and i'm really not gd in it. infact. i dun understand a single thing.
having telling u guys abt the dream and stuff, i'm alittle blech and er.. scared coz i'm alone at home now. hahaha.

ok. i should start studying.