v sick

didn't go sch today.

ytd.. kept vomitting. everything i consumed. even plain water. towards night, diahorrea, stomach pain, body ache, head pain and fever.

see doc. took jab which made me all soft. haha.

sis and mum also kenna. probably food poisoning or stomach flu.

stil feeling alittle sickish now. and vommitttingish.

project have to be cleared. today my mrkting grp suffered. coz i didn't have the energy to send them last night. tmr is full dress rehearsal. and gotta clear up all my work load. gd news is that LOA IS APPROVED! pleasantly surprised.
also, the temp in chiang rai has gone up (: so its more norm now.

keep praying.
i wanna go. i hope that i can be of full health by tonight. have to start packing. if not there's no time, lierally.

keep praying.

approaching

your thoughts translate into words
your words determine your actions
your actions develop into habits
your habits reflect your character
and finally your character decides your destiny

from gary from friend's camp.



the days are approaching.

tmr.
then thurs trng.
fri full dress rehearsal, whole day.
sat, THE DAY.
SUN. OFF TO THAILAND.
sun. BACK.
mon. EXAM.
and then... its 11 of dec already.



haven't packed. nor studied. nor practice.


hmm. thanks feifei today. gotta find that strength lehs. its been sometime. focus? am i out of focus? or too macro focus?

nevertheless, had sc mtng. was a brief one. celebrated president's bday and had pics taken here and there. so yea.

clearing things up now. like projects and stuff. TP RAWKS and stuff as well. SARA PARN. i really appreciate her. i think i'm able to keep my sanity during o levels is because of sara, gera, nat and my exco.

got my costumes today. alot of alterations to do. skirt gotta be short. the sequence gotta sewed onto the tutu. ahha. yes. tutu. erks. but it looks nice when everone's wearing it. tap costume is short, sliiky and fish net stockings. ok. i'm excitied, anxious yet worried. hope everything turns out well.


keep praying
for the ppl in thailand. in sg, i'm already putting on my wind breaker. wad more on the mountains?



lastly,


Happy Birthday, bro.

no trng

no trng on monday.

tp vs np
2 - 0

they've been doing great so far. (: really proud of them.

sch was ok. did alot of study on photog again. i know i shouldn't be at this pt of time. but.. i realy can't discipline myself. i did studied econs. a horrible 2 chpts. and plus many more and mulituply many more subs and chapts.


i have alot of things to do. and i can't really rmbr.. stuff like.. banking in cheque, photocopy passport,.. AND MANY MORE such stuff. highlighter no more ink also cannot find time to go get. needa get book, notebook, this and that. AH

and FRIDAY IS COMING. seriously. tmr is stats TEST. then DANCE, last prac b4 the thing, collect costumes, SC MTNG, .. and.. er.. i can't rmbr.
oh yes. the quizes? dateline is during my trip. thanks.


emails from mr james' proposing more events coming up. more major business events under the NYAA YPN. old sch friends been emailing to ask for outings,.. plan to meet up. IMF photog Camp. dance.



AH.is this like another way of the bad guy trying to distract me and bring me down?


plus. the exams. and 've gotta think of ways to pack my books into my bag and not let it seem heavy. and plus the slping bag, day pack. AHHHHHHH. plus, choontee's CAMERA. Nikon D70s.

its been cold today. already in sg, i'm putting on my jacket. wonder how is the ppl in thailand doing now. wonder how's ulrica nad drew tahaning the cold. wonder how is gland, rach, emma, joel, solo, and georgamy.


cast u out in the name of Jesus man.

hahaha. btw. on sat, one of the lfs player elbowed my arm. was finding the blueblack and i found it. hahaa. only came today. ok this is random.


i'll stay focus. this wk i think i'm goona be quieter in terms of volume. simply too many things to do and plan. like utilising my battery and stuff.. pray man. only God can control everything.


ok. too many things running through my mind. and u know wad. on the radio. i can hear ppl crying out loud that "its too boring". AH. get a life,please? OKS.

i'm off now. tc everyone. sorry if i haven got the time to like chat.

Oasis Touch

Touch! What a game!

on 25.11.06. 8am-6pm. Padang.
5 + 1 games in total.


ours was the U17 ppl.

(15mins each)
TP VS 0FS : 0-0
TP VS UWC : 0-2
TP VS LFS B : 3-1
TP VS LFS A : 0-6
TP VS RJC : 0-2
(25mins)
semis; TP VS LFS B: 1-6





i think overall, we did well. but, there are a few times that we can do much better. the game against RJC was really erks. pls. like.. tecnically, same score against UWC. erks can. i think we played well with UWC, we did gave them a fight.. but against RJC. its either tiredness or complacenacy got the better of us.
i've nv run like that, nor defend like that b4. i realyl tried to give my best. and successfully did most of the times, but not all.

we tied with OFS in the end, but won them with our try difference.
so we got into the semi-finals. we're pleasantly surprised coz we

we had to get it back. after alot of talking and thrashing, we were determined to put on a gd fight. for 25mins, we really thrashed it out. could hear the opp's coach shouting like mad. and u know wad. the 6 touches by LFS is all by NO.6-this world cup Touch player. she like to burn the link and wing. her fake is really fast.. the 4 centres really gotta hold the line and the link must really stay alert.

and lo and behold, izyan (i thinkk) created gap, fizah cut in and broke through and score. man. that moment, tears flowed out like river sia. during game somemore. hahah. could see aisya jumping like mad. marli's jaw dropped. everyone was pleasantly surpried. all of us cheered for that one try. coz IT WAS THE ONLY TRY AGAINST LFS B OVER THE WHOLE OASIS. no other teams scored a try against them. that moment was like. man. we had that fighting spirit and didn't want to give up like wad we did to RJC. we had to redeem ourselves.

i think if we had that spirit throughout the 10hrs, we'll make it against uwc.

haha. btw.. LFS A have this 2 small girls.. and they really can run and fake. ahha. they burnt us , links wings all. haha. they're gd.

our team;
best defender: huda
best team player: syhida
best play maker: izzy
best supporter: ting
most improved player: huda

haha. i heard huda! haha. after the game. "today, i realised the importance of communication". everyone *slaps head. HAHAHAHAHHA. izzy was like.. "err.. that toook u quite a while. ahha" after 5-6 months. ahhaa. but she stepped her opp really well. and aisya was proud of her. (:

overall, on my part. my individual goals:

1) basic drills excuted well - hmm. 70%: i think had 1 chuck passes. and mimal drop balls. punch up.. no serious fumbling.. dumps ok.. but splits still abit slow.
2) quick, penatrating punch up - 60%: punch up happens in the center. i'm usually the link... so for the times i punched up, i think its gd.. we had all 3, and gained all 6 touches.
3) communicate and assure team - 60%: haha. hmm. 1st and last game i did. but the 2,3, 4.. i think wasn't as focused as i should have been.
4) quick decisions, nice loops. - 35%: slow decisions. except for last game, more alert. looping wise. on and off.. sometimes big C, sometimes timing gd but player nv pass off. so yea. ok la. not that bad.
5) attempt fake, breakthrough and be fast. 50%? :.. haha. didn't really tried faking.. more of focusing to create gaps coz my weakness is closing gaps. for the last game, i rmbr i faked. then i saw my oppo go the opp direction. happy sia. but she was fast enough to tap me, and i was slow enough to not run through. if no.. it would have be a nice break through.

haha. i know for the 1st game, i did run well againssdt OFS. so near to the try line..then i touch her and she dumped the ball. HAHA. and u know wad. it wasn't a the tryline but the 5m mark. haha. (: so thats how the score was 0-0.

for the following wks in trngs, i hope to improve on pt 5. i realised that i can actually run if i got that adrenaline to. so, i can run. but then, i'm still not fast enough for those eurasian ppl. they're really really fast. nic is fast. i saw he covering up so much. and from wing.. she can run to centre and touch this eurasian player. for the side, she run.. like wind sia. really. her legs are so long and she's so fast.. literally, there's one game, whoever she chased. whoever she catch. hahah. as for fake. still got room for improvements. coz like no one buys it. ahhaha. only react to it. haha.

thorugh the 10hrs, this team has definitely grew.


after that.. out with zhuan, maybeline, ash, suhaimi, clar, wilson, lilian, vic, ryan, fahmy, blandon and tim. they had a u19 game against scc. 5-3. vic was seriously injured.. ryan was sick. haaha. we ate dinner and walked around.. played around.. haha. we walked as a grp.. slowly, in pairs, dispersed and left zhuan. ahha. suhaimi's idea. felt like small kids again la. but really. its been SO LONG since i've done stupid stuff like that. since sec sch. always doing such stull on sara or gerldayne or nat. hahaha. oh man. the days.

haha. OKs.

went home, slpt. dead on the sofa. till 4 plus.. ran to my room and ploped dead again. woke up, same position. didn't move. whole body ached. calves and back.. haha. went to church. and really felt tired. knees felt like as if it couldn't take my weight. haha. hopefully it gets better tmr. i think now left and rigth is equally bad. haha.





sent the thai team off to thailand. now they are there already, and i'm missing the liangs and rach already. during lunch.. it felt like missing out someone. haha jamine tan. wonder how are they doing. hopefully drew can tahan the cold weather. hopefully they have nice and warm blankets now.
at the aiport was funny. had ppl gg around sticking yellow tapes on the back. haha.



rach and family. hhaha. her sisters. haha. i thought i was gg with them. now i'm gg alone. i think i'l let mum know on thurs. if not she's goona get worried thses few days.




lastly, the headoff prayer. was short. ahha. couldn't take a verynice wide shot.

anyways.
prays.


tmr marks the start of no rest day. after i got home today, at 5plus.. slpet till 8.. then tried to clear some personal stuff. couldn't really study. hmm. yea. long post. off now. nite. (:

some advertisment. haha.

tracks

 
a pic paints a thousand words. 


what i've obtained at eve's house; clockwise direction:

- 1st row. pics of my dad when he's young. probably in his 20's. 1960 plus. i think dad is charming. haha. as in like, my dad is like, i duno la. the best one could ever have. he need not be the brightest, wittiest, quick or top guy in sg. but it's him that makes him unique. he places the family first. then his passion for inventing/making stuff. then his work. its really clear.

- 2nd row. its me. by then, the colour technology was out.

- 3rd row. 1st pic. a protrait shot of yvonne. this is a beautiful shot. i just love it. i'll elaborate later. 2nd pic, probably the rugby boys trng, and the student council meeting. its like.. ancient sia. the sa prefects uniform nv change. haha. 3rd pic. David marshall was Mr. Francis Thomas (former sa principle) gd friend. haha. i've caught a gd protrait shot of David M... and more shots of them making their rallies and stuff like that. its like. back at IMF-ancient



i've literally looked through probably close to 400 pics. old pics. as in those that is really like black and white kind. rare coloured ones. looked though the really old SAV.. and old boys, old sajc girls. haha. the girls were like in 2 standard pony tails and skirts are really high. the prefect's uniform, meetings and stuff.
i felt almost back there in 1960s, at the heart of the village.

the composition of the photographer is really excellent. given those kind of film cameras in the past. its like 'no room for mistake' kinda thing. no photoshop and stuff like that.. i really wonder how did the photographer had an inbulit stabilizer. some shots were shaky. but many were awesome.its like evening kinda lighting and still manage to capture still shots.

the protrait shot of yvoone... i'll give it a 9/10. its like. awesome man. it gives u a soft feeling. probably the filter? the angle is nice. the feeling of the shot is there. its like. man. no words to further describe. but.. totally way awesome.




so basically. i've 'travelled' back to the past of the Thomas-cum-Saints era. back to the old village-village. the boys never seem to change in some sense though. haha. seriously. i dun mind being a guy and study as st andrew's. haha. i duno why... but i feel really attached to st.andrew's. probably its where i grew up- the kindergarden then the occasion visit to church,and the frequent vist to the village now. plus. its a BIG part of my dad's life. afterall, my dad was an old boy who likes to zhao sch. he goes sch, mark his attendance, climb out of the gate to escape and play marbles. and back to sch to mark his end-of the day attendance.
Mr. Thomas always had to catch him back to discipline him, as his uncle, as his principle.
to my dad, mr. thomas has been like a father to him.his blood parents: one gd killed during the war as a solider and the other, an illness. i'm can sure say that if its not for mr. thomas, my dad won't be like my dad. haha. hmm.ya. w/o the thomas family, i doubt my dad wout be existing. hmm.err... would have existed?


i'm motivted to be a photographer. one that capture moments. one that inspire. one that gives hope. there's so much a photog can do, even after death, the msges are still living. i'm inspired. so motivated to capture moments in n. thailand. haha. i'm using a D70s. HAHHAHAAH. it felt so gd, somehow, compared to the D50s. haha.nikon. whole 7 days nikon and my casion pns. canon will still my choice as of yet.


ok enough of the Poon nv ending history.


basicaly, after sch had msn trng. i submittted my LOA as 'Overseas Community work- medical work; N. Thailand'. my cp signed it, like, jist like that coz he was sort of in a hurry, flipping through the 'attached documents'. now its left witht he Course Manager's signature. hmm. even if it's not approve, i cannot possibly turn a deaf ear to my call.

then went for eve's house for cell and to help out with e food for tmr's sa comm day. match tmr too though. ): so yea. pray for gd weather. thanks.


ANYWAYs. msn trng. our last official trng.
to share abti, rach shared, and then jasper. and i realised that the 3 of us, are facing with issues that are relative similar. conflicts PLUS, doing stuff that does not please God that we don't normally do.

seriously. looking back at this month. i've said/felt/done stuff that i dun think i would normally react to. eg. the swearing on the field. and conflicts here and there. the loneliness being alone or even with friends. plus, the exams, stress, eoy actitivties, rectials, matches. everything.

mainly, the team faces distractions. we are so distracted, or rather, too distracted. ultimately, does ur actions really honour God and put Him as a priority in our hearts. do we succumb to fatigue or even resorting to simply giving up?

s attack.

it is so real.

when i realised all these happpens concurrently, i felt afraid for a moment. i felt like. oh man. is my faith shaken? i can surely say NO. but am i up for it with Him?
i believe in prayer. the importance of prayer partner. i'm not sure if this whole thing has hit me, but for sure, i'm reminded. or rather, warned.

i know i'm still in the midst of preparing, being prepared. thats the contrdictary of it all. smaller team. eaiser targets. and really, i'm sure that s is gonna strike even more, trying to take opportunites. the harder we try, the harder he'll try.
but.

that's the whole point of it. put it as- a challenge. are u up of it? or are u just gonna give in to comfort. i cannot say i'm not worried. i am. but at the same time, i'm confident. coz the battle is like won. duh. its how we fight it. how much men can we save.


was sharing we some of them. its like. for me, now at this pt of time, one day.. i feel so enthu. one day, i feel so worried and unprepared. and the next day, i feel another kind of emotion. are all thses part of s' plans? sheesh. at the bottomline, i feel so thankful and assured with DA WORD OK. verses pop by. God's creative way of smsing me.


right now, keep praying. 4 msges recieved abt the weather in thailand. high 29, low 8. and we're goona be in the mountains. so the temp range is goona get trickier. and its like. possibilities of faling physically sick is high.
the team needs prayer. the leaders needs prayer. so pls, do pray.
lastly, the youth team. i'm encouraged by one, and yet discouraged by another. but i'm positive abt stuff la. (: i dun wish to elaborate further. one will know through one's conscience. i dun need to say anything but- pray.
pray for strength. unity. understanding. peace.



amen.

S2006/ NYAA Appreciation Dinner

the place.


there's even a banner


heeheehee.


meet the couples' wed nite. aha. jk. darn nice bros.


this is the real event photographer. ahha. we felt like wierd this time round. ahah



Today is such a beautiful morning night haha. lucky Andass huh. HAHA.



G5 Meetings


G5



The Three Partners.






ok. sch was like marketing day. after that, i headed to the library intending to at least start studying. again, i procrastinated and didn't. instead, i spent 2 hrs reading up on photography and photoshop. the library rocks. yes, i'm actually saying this. haha. i borrowed a bk on photography the fundentals.. hoping that i can brush up my skills. haha. oh well. study should like come right at this pt of time.

missed trng today to go for e event. they did 'zoom' today. and its the last trng b4 SATURDAY. MAN.


at the event, today i realised smth, i did not take my usual wide-angle kinda shot. i always do that at every event. anyways. today was like, got shirt, got cert, got pay, got food, got everything. ahha. was telling meisy and serena..we've seen all the shirts that they guys are wearing b4. haha. its like, IMF again. (: the girls looks really gorgeous today. ahah. meisy serena and i looked alittle underdress beside them.

we had an event photographer today! haha. was like... weird to be shot at such functions. i felt so delegate-ish. haha. wonder how the delegate maintain their cool man. fun la. the whole room to ourselves. after like 8 days of sloggin ourselves out for the best shots we could possibly take, ironically, this is our first dinner together. often it is finger food from the press centre and stuff like that.

on the way down the esclator.. i saw.. "ST HILDA'S PRI ANNUNAL DINNER". ahha. at level 1, bumped into some tchrs.. and only rmbred me when i told them- the tap dancer. HAHA.

nevertheless, i was really (: to see ppl whom i've worked with so hard, running here and there, to and fro, early morngs, late nights, seemingly 24hr kidna job... whom i have not seen for so long.

i guess this dinner, this Apprecitation Dinner as encouraged me in a way. like, oh man, i'm being appreciated till like such a scale. it can be refreshing to a certain extent.


ok. now its like 2.40am. all the best to tmr's game VS RP. i'm sure they'll WIN MAN. hahahahha. after sch, its msn trng and then to eve's house to help for sat's Saints Community Day. ): i wanna be there as well.

muddy

one of the rare times i could follow what's gg on in Accounting.
and P. of Management is really CRAZY. its like. ALOT of concepts. i'm really really really worried for my midsem exams.

sch ended at 6pm today, thus couldn't go for the very last mission dance trng.
after sch, shoot for the match TP VS SP. haha. was quite fun to shoot. pax and vic tackeled each other and started laughing. haha. then the sp crowd laughed too. haha. it was hilarious too see them really having fun despite such a tense match.

well, tp lost. sp, won. haha.

couldn't really take close up with e 18-125mm i borrowed from sch.evil bestest twin didn't bring aloy's 70-200mm lens today! HAHAH. nvm though.. but i feel like bad for aloy, taking the trouble and stuff. ahaha. hmm. and i feel bad that bestest twin would feel bad too.hhaha. bestest SIA. hahhaa.

haha. ANWAYS, THAT 300D. all that memoraries. it has a new batt now. but it is still drinkign up all the batt power. like.. 1 hr 1 batt kinda thing. and its w/o flash. haha.
got some gd shots though. but i'm still trying to work out my shutter, aparture and ISO. was figuring out.. so like quite a no. of my photos were underexposed coz the cam is quite faulty. so is the lens. haha.


i'd think i'll stick to a camera tt is in working condition, if not i can forget abt learning stuff from the practical..

gd to see friends from sa in tp today.. boon rong, jesse, darryl, dw, the usuals tim, vic, pax, maybelline, clarissa, ash.. and suhaimi! haha his hair grew longer now. been really really really loooooooooooong since we've caught up.

after that. was trng. field was nice to dive. i think we played welll and improved alot on our denfence. but on attack, i guess we can communicate more and stuff like that. haha. i'm happy today ok. coz shaz broke through. then i gave chase.. and then i dive and caught her! HHHAHA. i felt so so gd. all that rounds weren't in vain. coz i rmbr that i can't catch her last time. shaz improved alot man. (:
haha. charlotte says that there's flesh-eating bacteria on the field and that is scary. coz i didn't bring change today. haha. imagine that.
i wanna thank ling and ting today though. jsut feel like thanking them..
i hope that we can do well this sat and probably sun.


but today, i think i've upset God. i sweared on the field- twice. man. i gotta learn to tame that tongue of mine. its like poly.. the vocab is so limited that the * word is always being used. as a noun, pronoun, adjective, wadeva. like.. even in class.. even if the tchr is in class, the word is still being used.
c'mon man.we'll like in the 'business' sch. more or less... presentatin wise holds a higher stake.
i'll go search for more vocab. its been long since i've touched the ENG stuff. i miss studying science, really.


despite my sinful act, God still healed me. i didn't sniff today! apart from a few sneezes. haha. yay. feels gd to be gd again. and and and, my knees right, i told myself not to think abt it... and have been trng thighs so that they won't hurt that much and it hellped! what's more is that both knees are gd now! WAHHAHA. (: i'm really happy. keep prayign though. coz when i bend my knees for a while, the pain will come back. haha. but i know God is still protecting sia. haha. (:



anyways. tmr its the Dinner for the IMF photog by NYAA. exciteid to see all my friends! (: wonder how are they. back to formal clothes i guess. i rmbr there was once, after IMF, we went out for dinner.. ahha. then its like.. so different to se everyone dressed so differently.coz during imf, its all those formal stuff.. kinda cool to see them -be their own. haha.


better be off to do work now. been reallllly loaded. loaded with sch work.
thank God that bowling is now on hold, apart from the thursday league that i need to bowl at times...

i just wanna thank God. everyday is just a special day.
i hope to like start studying. if not, man, dun wanna think abt it. haha. (:

tuesday

today was only 2hrs of tutorial.

i had my day.

a day where i could do stuff. morng, woke up still with the blocked nose.. i did my proj and attempted my tutorials.

after sch, went to the lab to acc meipeng b4 i head for dance.
after dance, it was already like 7pm.
and i was home at 8pm! been long since i've got home at such time.


thus, i had alot of time to sit back and think abt stuff.


like in such times.

i do stuff quick. and many a times. too fast. yes, effiecent. productive. but in the process.. what's out of it?
rash conclusions?
my mind went through alot. its like. am i really living a life that is a living sacrifice?

do i really want things to go al-so perfect?

certainly, i've lost my strength. or rather, i've lost that ability to seek God for strength. i fight, on my own when i know i shouldn't. its like. a tight rope, flying a kite and stuff like that.. whereby this is this, that is that. and if this or that, either we fall or fly away.

to like simply, thnk positively. its not jsut some casual.. 'eh. think positive leh'. coz when i say to think positively, i mean it. i haven been positive abt stuff lately. even if i have, its for selfish reasons. i dun want that.


i'm really falling back on encouragements by ppl like mr lim, ms devi, ms soo, mrs teo and Joanne. their words seem to go a lifeling with me. haha. ironaically, they are teachers, i dun mean anything la.


to look forward. i'll try to be more positive yet, efficient still. always in love, will i carry out my tasks. i'll continue to be responsible. and more impt, the word 'strength' will try not to let it sink too far down beyond redemption.

i have to learn how to let things go. from things, to ppl. i have to. this is where my strength has been forfeited for.


its another of life's leraning experience and by far, this yr has been the toughest yr. can't wait to do my 'yearly summary pts'.


Poon Marian.
haha. i rmbr when i was really young, i used to be really proud of my name. like even when the teacher calls or like write my name on the board, i just feel so so proud of it. even when durign bowling competions, i make sure my full name is up there and in the right order if not, i'll take the trouble to go seek the counter staff to change.
now, its like that 'glitter' along the letters is fading. i have to seek it back.

but first, i need to make sure i'm alongside with the Word. then, i cannot procrastinate nor give myself lame excuses which will led to regret.


i'm still learning. i'm still growing.


thank u all for being part of my life. be it those who bring me down, make me happy, cheer me up, beat me up, scold me,encouraged me, backstab/betrayed or even thought of me, thank u all. if its not for anyone around me, i guess i wouldn't be who i am now. i'll still continue to be marian. but i'll strive to be a role model as a person. but i know lar, i'll still say my stuff.i just gotta know how to not be so blunt or too sharp and at the same time, hit the heart of anyone whom i hope to help. just pray that i dun get misinterpreted or misunderstood.


ahaha. i sound as if i'm like er... i duno how to put it la. er.too techincal abt the heart. nah.

i just want to thank God for being who He is.



btw, TPiranhas won 3-0 against SP. YAY! (: we have cool seniors.

yea, tell me abt it.

rp came like 45mins late for the game wit ite.. so we started trng later.


was really muddy today.


i have to post all this nonsense.

what was said, was already said.
i THOUGHT that there was understanding from the team.
however, i went to the toilet, and came back, this person just had to tell another person from the U21, "today someonetoday cried sia.." then i was there, so i dumped my shoe bag loud enough to be heard so she didn't continue talking.

i thought this could be trusted. after what we've said and shared...

i duno. that moment, i needed you to voice out ur feelings. ended up me alone. and then, now, i strongly feel this label.
just because of that. yes. hard impact huh.

ok. u can call me petty, sensative or wadeva and wadsoeva.
all i know is that i've done my part by saying what and how i feel.
its up to u guys whether u want to take it seriously and maturely or not.

as far as i'm concerned, i'll still continue to play my best in the team, as a team. i'll take it in. and take it in. when necessary, i'll take it out. really. as one sports team, this should not be the way.

i just hope that we will humble ourselves. we can win it. but with complacency and individuals in the team, to even play a good game that's worth Aisha smiling for, is freaking difficult. coz rugby, is abt team. as long as one men is not as one, that's it.


i dun think 'judgement' was the right word to use. couldn't find any better word. but betrayal? how abt that? too serious?

so. thurs i'm unable to go for trng due to the final IMF thanku meeting-cum-many-things. so how's that goona be portrayed to the team? think abt it.


luckily, today no fitness. coz i'm still like sick and my flu is blocking my air passages. to also clarify. i dun really think that my emotional state today was due to any emo stuff outside the field. i really do fully understand. but understanding doesn't necesary comes with tolerance.

u can shout scold kill me on the field. i really do understand. even with harsh evil and i-want-u-dead kinda tone, i dun mind. but what is impt is what comes from the heart. at the end of the day, it leads me to even asking.. are we humble enough to learn from each other. are we humble enough to listen? are we sporting enough to balance both agression and regression?

i just want to thank manda. also to izzy and ting. period.




sometimes its like.. i wish that everyone knew who God is. and acknowldge and accept.



ok. solomon. i'm not afraid to disclose u or wadsoeva. so, imagine if i did, and u would be .. marian this and that again. and all that colourful words are out again. ok. then tell me why u dun come on certain sunday mornings? i know i'm in no position u acquire an explaination from u. i really duno how to tell u stuff that i want you to know. stuff that i desperately want u to know before u head off to Thailand. and then again, would u even acknowledge?


SHEESSSH.


is this is like *ahem attack or smth. i face so many walls. its like. issit me? times like this. i need sara parn. i need you. i need ms devi. who would understand me. i wish to go back to kc and study with ppl who understands.so bounded by God's love. is one able to be over dependant on God's love? i thank God for zheng, he reminds me to live a walking testimony for God jsut by being himself. at the point, ppl all around me, confuse me. who am i? too much of a perfectionist? or wad.
so if i say i am problematic. am i really promblematic? do i think too much for others, according to some of my friends? or am i just anoter irritating fella who's trying to stirr up some trouble do i really need appreication? come to think of it, if it's not for Dennis, pat, cell leaders and joanne. i think i'll really go astray and be a person who needs serious councilling.

all i know is that i try my best to 'satisfy' everyone. i know i can't. but i do know why am i actually taking the trouble to actually go through all this. ic an choose not to. but i want to take this. i guess now i understand what the long and narrow road really means. and its goona get tougher.

i'm really frustrated.




sometimes its like.. i wish that everyone knew who God is. and acknowldge and accept.



-
offically 3rd of dad's departure. still, won't forget that very smile whom everyone missed.

sick.

finally i'm sick.
been dripping alot. like really alot. i can sit and stare at this screen for 3mins and my nose leaks.


haha.


fri prac till 11pm plus. ytd, 11pm plus, today morning, worship prac, followed by mission trng. then helped to pack the med and old clothing and stuff.


today is dear ulrica birthday! (: 16th now. haha.


today is like struggle.



"Yoda of Rivendell says:
Just to encourage y ou - was blessed by your ministering in music last night and this morning. God bless."


from uncle vincent.



tmr is like my dad's 3rd year of departure. 3 yrs back at this time, sis and i were at the bedside, and mum was rushing back again.



to simply put it ironically, there is alot gg in my head now. my body is starting to ache. pls dun let it be viral attack or smth. match, recitals, trip, exams.

pls do pray. coz from 1st dec till 1th dec, i won't be having any breaks but mind-straneous activities.

and in the midst of all these, i still can somehow be worried and affected by you. ur heart, where? and how? i can only watch from afar, and pray.

Worship Night 2006

God is indeed always faithful.

on my part, great experience. smth technical abt playing for God is that when u make mistake, at the end of the day, it doesn't really matter coz its for God. ppl also wouldn't really bother to rmbr coz the time is for God and only Him. so everything around Him becomes, small. to put it.

yea. really thank God so much for working in our lives and using us as instruments. the passage abt the walls of Jerico keeps flashing in my head. and today, God seems to be like, constantly speaking to me b4 the night begun.

i mean like yea, i play for sunday service and stuff.. but today, its like, so much abt God's calling and stuff. ok wait. i really duno how to put it, but all i can say is that God works so much in this preperation. this morning, i had really little faith. it took me quite a while to decided to not go for rectial prac but instead, to join the team in prayer for the event at 4pm. i wanna thank God for that coz it has nv been easy to do the opportunity cost thing. the verse 'you of little faith....sluggish..' keeps repeating in my head. its like. oh man. haha. i really felt, not worthy.

one of the many thing ot thank God is for the logisitics team. the 'music team' and logistics ppl always have stuff to work out. and usually, its really a tough job for both parties. but tonite, the sound coming out from the speakers we so so different from pracs. so so much better in some sense. i could hear myself more of the time as compared to pracs.


also to the committee. for orgainising and praying. the ppt slides are like way beyond cool. the videos and stuff. so cool.

glad to see ling and my evil twin.. ahaha. all had a great time
i'm tired. nite man.

decisions

i'm still slow with decisions on the field. i know what needs to be done.... but i dun use it.. today wholeday played winger. coach was like.. why dun u play center and try to do smth (referring the the play making).

i duno man. i'm like -afraid. coz my team mates are always there and i feel so inferior to play centre. i lack confidence. coz of my poor attendance due to bowling.

the team is starting to pick up. i feel that we can do much better. somehow, no offence to anyone, when DD was with us, we had that drive and direction. now like with the 18yrs and above ppl gone, i think we're more lac on ourselves.

like.. i mean that if u say u wanna improve and learn, dun just day it. do it. i waited since 5pm, hoping that u'll show up coz u said u would. but instead, u even came late for trng. ok, nvm, i understand. but i'm referring to accountability. u can get my no. from ur friends if u dun have mine. and i'm here to help.
ok.
i'm trying not to be petty over this kind of thing, coz really, u're improving. but u haven touch ur potential yet. and the team has like.. 2 trngs more.

i duno if we're being too complacent? or too relax on ourselves? or, we feel that we are just there. like no drive to wanna go further. i really hope that coach dun feel discourage coz she's really trying hard and putting alot of faith and confidence in us.

i still feel that we can do much better. same goes to me. i haven been as bold as i should have been on the field. i should be more positive.

now is the time when bowling is not so xiong now. i better use it wisely. but this coming thurs i have the IMF dinner. both are impt.

i hope that my team mates reads this. not to like have godless chatter here and there or to redeeming anyone inc me, but, to come to an understanding that i really dun want us to waste this opportunity and take for granted the patience coach has for us. coz it'll be the last time ever that we'll be playing U17. and really. to like 'lose' technically to people who are perhaps younger than us, is really not nice for tp's touch name la. ya ya. they can be more experienced than us and i shouldn't like place a label over ppl younger than us. but like in sports wise, age plays an impt role.

at 'this level', we're played against the clubs in NTL. u know like how fast they can be and all lar. they are so so much faster.

i think i'm talking too much.

i just want to be a better, faster and fitter player. i dun want to break through and end up being caught. i just dun like that.

projects are all at the tip. its not that i'm busy, but LAZY to actually give my best.


sheeesh. throbing. bobbing. can't we have like Zacterday. like another day in the wk. ok this is lame. i'm just taking for granted abt the time God has given us. not gd.


worship nite prac tmr. i really hope to do well. coz sat is like BUSY. and i've got a feeling that i'm goonna disappoint dash.. but dun worry la. i know God loves me. (: HARS. pray for discipline. pray for God's presence. pray for His ppl.




from http://www.touchsingapore.org/




Friday, November 10, 2006 / 12:59 AM

The Ministry of Education has officially recognised Touch (Football) as a CCA-Sport in the national school network.

This will allow schools to affiliate with Touch Singapore and for eager young participants to join the junior development pathway and progress their involvement as players and junior officials both locally and internationally.

Touch Singapore offers every member both young and old the oportunity to actively participate in a wide range of events and technical development opportunities and opens the doors for all participants to enjoy both social and competitive competition in Singapore and with the 30 plus (and growing) F.I.T. member nations around the world.

If you want to know more about how you can get involved in the Mod-Touch Junior Development Programme or get your school involved in Touch - contact Touch Singapore!








Touch Singapore – Code of Behaviour

Players: -

Play by the rules

Never argue with an official. If you disagree with a decision, have your captain, coach or manager approach the referee at an appropriate time

Control your temper

Be a good sport

Treat all participants in Touch as you would like to be treated

Cooperate with your team mates, coach and opponents. Without them, there would not be any competition.

Respect the rights of all participants regardless of their gender, ability, cultural background or religion
Parents: -

Remember that children participate in sport for their enjoyment, not yours

Encourage children to participate, do not force them

Focus on a child’s efforts and performance rather than on winning or losing

Encourage children to always play by the rules

Never ridicule a child for mistakes or for losing

Respect officials decisions and teach children to do like wise

Respect the rights of all participants regardless of their gender, ability, cultural background or religion
Program Leaders: -

Remember that young people participate for pleasure and winning is only part of the fun

Never ridicule or yell at a player for making a mistake or not coming first

Be reasonable in your demands for all players time, energy and enthusiasm

Operate in the rules and spirit of the sport and encourage your players to do the same

Ensure that all players time with you is a positive experience

Avoid over-playing the talented player as the average player deserves equal time

Ensure that your equipment and facilities meet safety standards

Display control, respect and professionalism

Show concern and caution for sick or injured players

Ensure that any physical contact with any young people is appropriate to the situation and necessary for the players skill development

Respect the rights of all participants regardless of their gender, ability, cultural background or religion
Teachers: -

Create opportunities to teach appropriate sports behaviour as well as basic skills

Give priority to ‘free play’ and ‘modified’ sports over highly structures competition for young children

Make young people aware of the positive benefits of participation in sporting activities

Help young people to understand that playing by the rules is their responsibility

Offer all young people equal opportunity to participate in administration, coaching, refereeing as well as playing

Respect the rights of all participants regardless of their gender, ability, cultural background or religion
Administrators: -

Involve young people in planning, leadership, evaluation and decision making

Offer all young people equal opportunity to participate

Create pathways for young people as players, coaches, referees and administrators

Ensure that the rules, equipment, length of games and training schedules are modified to suit the age and ability of young people

Provide quality supervision and instruction

Help coaches and officials highlight appropriate behaviour and skill development

Emphasise involvement and not winning at all costs

Make it clear that any abuse (physical or verbal) of any players is unacceptable

Respect the rights of all participants regardless of their gender, ability, cultural background or religion
Officials: -

Modify the rules and regulations to match the skill levels and needs of young people

Compliment and encourage all participants

Be consistent, objective and courteous when making decisions

Condemn unsportsmanlike behaviour and promote respect for opponents

Emphasise the spirit of the game

Encourage and promote rule changes that make participation more enjoyable

Be a good sport

Place the safety and welfare of all participants above all else

Promote an equal opportunity for all young people regardless of their gender, ability, cultural background or religion

home early!

today was sp and np match guys rugby.


also, today. is my first time gg home after sch!! haha. besides gg to watch the rugby match. (: haha.

tmr is already thurs!! and its like.. monday just passed.


today, my knees seems better. ahha. should have heed aiysha's advice to train with my knee guard. i hope i dun get dependant. HMM. i'll probably go see singseh or cgh on tue. probably cgh first or smth. see how la.


projects are piling. not really looking forward. haven't hit the bks yet and i should if i wanna go Uni. i must not procratinate.


next wk is the IMF DINNER. hoho. (: but its on a thurs which means i have to skip trng.

worship nite is coming, and i'm really not 'prepared' coz i'm alittle afraid that i'll forget how the intro of the songs go.

borrowing lens from aloy. probably a 70-200 to shoot rugby on wed. tp and sp match. the guys say that if tp win, got free show to watch. ahha.

looking through IMF file of photos, i really miss the ppl there.. meisy, leying, jisheng, melvin, willy, andass and so on. man. QMAR's pics just make me laugh. ok. emo hahah.

well. today was interesting.


mu mind is just, like.. cheese balls. alot gg on. so my post, as u can see, its like rojak.

Diploma in...

Marketing

was struggling if shouuld i choose dip in biz (corp com and marktg as my elective). did some researcha n guess wad!! NUS HAS CNM!!! Communication and new media management. OH MAN. its like CMM. HOHOHO. i hope to study hard. coz from poly to u is not gona be easy.

hmmm.

i think i should get the insurance from sch. coz i did in fact injure myself during sch trngs.

ok. it all started from my back. then rugby, causing my left knee form bowling. then my right knee. and now my back, again.


last monday, during the 3 rounds, i felt that i could not accelerate. i simple could not stride fast. after that.. we resumed trng.. then on defense.. my back hurt so so so much. so was water break. then we sat down. i tried to get up twice and i couldn't. i freaked out for a moment. when i tried to stand, my back almost killed me.

so coach told me to sit there and dun move.

oh man. for like the last 35min. i sat there and literally, sat at the side to watch. was so irritating. but i did took time to reflect on the team and stuff.

we have technically 3 more trngs to the game.we hope to win. really. its the only chance this time round. but our attitude isn't that hungry as much. there are alot of stuff la.

today had sc mtng. glad that almost all came.

this month of nov is gonna pass so so fast and i dun think i can even rmbr what happened.

heaard that in dance, i'm put infront. GRRRRRRR. i really hope RECONSIDER pls. coz i haven been gg for the rehearsals.


keep praying. worship nite is goona be so super awesome coz God will be coming. haha.. (: pray for msn team as well..

official photog back.

the crazy confirmed-tees




hooh. since IMF that i've become an official photog. today was church's Confirmation. used uncle Kok Chi's Nikon D50s. ok lar. nikon pics dun look nice on the LCD. but on the com, nice sia. i was like. hey.. the colour is nice after all. haha. i'm still comfortable with canon though.

anyways.

yea. i was a little appprehensive. then b4 service started, unc kw made an annoucement which addded stress. ahha. "later for confirmation, pls refrain from crowding in front. we'll be having someone to take the photos of all the candidates. so dun worry, u'll be able to get the photos". THANKS. haha. i was told of the announcement nor the 'scale' of it. hahaha. i felt more nervous than IMF. at least in IMF, i've got another photog with me. haha.


she looked at me i shoot. haha.


during confirmation, i was taking pics and all lars. i could feel the goosebumps and all. i have to admit that i felt afraid. i know i shouldn't be.. but yea i was shaking.. then i started tearing... while taking the shots. uncle david who was beside me was also crying while taking photos... i told myself to focus. yea, ppl fell, but i was so afraid to take pics of them on the ground, so i kept my head high and carried on with the shots. it was overwhelming. i told myself to focus on my task. hahaa. nv nv cry during photoshoot. it's not gonna be easy to see if ur shots are in focus. ahaha. try.




Rev Rennis was simply connecting to God. its like, when he prayed, it was power to strike through ur heart. like.. he prayed "heal all broken wounds... forgive those who has taken advantage of u, ur business partners.. surrender to God..." i was like.. seriously. i'm so so sure that it all came from the Lord and he knew wad to pray out verbally. it was really overwhelming. i duno how to discribe it.. but eugene was also telling me that the musicians sitting at the side could also feel the power of the Holy Spirit and goosebumps were everywhere.

haha. then the grp shot, i was nervous... afraid that i'tll be over exposed. i duno if its me or the camera.. but when i'm with mr wilson's 300d, its either always over or under.. with nikon.. i feel that its over.. but it look gd on the computer.



congrats to all! (:


overall. i think i did well. haha. not bhb la. but at leat i'm able to cover single candidate.


after that.. mission trng..

haha. happy to learn thai and akha! haha. was fun.



after that was Worship Nite prac.



i dun feel confident enough to push the vol higher? sigh. haha. i really wanna play like as well so that it doesn't become any form of distraction.
its said that they're chaning it to Sanctuary.. technical pros and cons lar.


today i really felt exhausted. after 8hrs of bowling, late night supper and not enough slp, was alittle slow today. OH YES. I SINFULLY SINNED. ok it was Communion. Rev sort of like missed out me to give me the bread.. probably my hands were too low or smth. haha. so he prayed for me.. then the musicians saw and like giggled.. ahha. so ok la.. after much consideration, i went for 2nd round. then i took the bread, and wanted to dip into the wine. and i dropped the bread into it, and my fingers were like, wet. hahha. then uncle kia wang who was the officiant who gave the wine, took out the bread, from the cup and ate it. so technically i didn't take Communion. its reallly like hilarous on the physical part of it. but the spiritual part.. it seemed like.. 'not properly excuted'. i was reflective abt it... coz the communion is one of the most sacred ritual.. and the Bible states smth abt 'fallen asleep'.. which means to die la. hahaha.
no, i'm not afriad of the death part, just afriad that it would upset God.


then went to mac to eat ice cream with jas.. coz indeed on smth tt gives energy.
then cabbed home with my guitar and amplifer. the taxi driver was really talkative. i was so so tired.. he keeps talking n ask my repeated q. like " u play the guitar ar. can teach me anot (6 times)" and on and on and on.. then i give him directions.. he say.. "wah..see uncle so obediant. u say turn right, i turn right.. good ar". *slaps head. i so so so irritatied. and wad's more is that.. it was all in CHINESE. "u 17? so old ar. i thought 12. haha. not angry right (abt 5 times)".
it was a looooooong ride home. suffered. wanted to go and celebrated grace's bday. but really couldn't. btw. "sick, cannot go church but can go out." - wads ur take on this? possible reasons are like felt better so go out. but still. I, marian, is becoming to be more by-the-book.

went home, sinked into the sofa, and watched tv. oh man. i felt like i-am-now-resting. from 730pm till 1030. wanted to do tutorials and like study b4 i leave singapore.. but i think i needed the break. i guess i'll start tmr. and yes. it ahs become a really gd reason to procrastinate.


i wanna go OUT and ENJOY. haha. like sooo long haven done that. i treat my social life as schling, trng, church and stuff. but still. ahaa. NVM. why am i even ranting when i'm not angry or anything? haha. oh well.

i try to look forward to the coming weeks. its goona get tougher instead. the end of POL-ITE marks the start of it all.

POL-ITE 2006

we got:
- Girls overall champion
- singles 1st- she-na
- singles 2nd- angeline
- doubles 1st- she-na and angeline
- team 1st
- Boys team 3rd

bowling constantly (with 45mins break at 12.30pm)from 850am till 5pm. 8 straight hours of bowling.
image the coaches being there for us for 8 hrs. 4 teams.


there's alot to say. lets start proper.

lane assignment. was telling my team "haha. later suay suay bowl corner lane.. whateever it is right, hope we dun keena beside SP boys team 1 coz they're strong."
ok. so 1st half, qian qian, lane 24 (corner lane) and 23 is sp t1.

fun sia.

then nvm. i was like.. ok.. still got nxt half.. should be changing lanes.. where got so suay kennna twice corner lane. then.. THANKS AR. bowled corner again.

ok.

this morning i woke up with a line given by God, literally. 10-9. like dreams kinda thing. well. today, most of the time i was bowling a 9-10 , 10-10 area.

OK. i have to complain. i dun really like bowling corner lanes during tournament when the oiling pattern becomes crucial. the lane was freakin patchy. bowl 10-10, can actually skid to the right can. then play abit og angle 9-10, cross pocket, pin7.
sp guys eat lanes fast.. they play inside line.. so it dries and changes fast.

the first few shots of the day was done with a nervous heart. i woulldn't say 'pounding' but like throbbing hardly. could feel it. at pol-ite level, there's ppl with much higher standards compared to nationals.. haha. oh yes. and again, in my batch of bowlers there are the technically more zai/pro/monster bowlers. so those who usually win will win and its like rotational kinda thing. haha. foever competing with them. like.. grrrr. gotta step up- fast.


one thing to be proud of is that i spared 96% of my pin 7 and 98% of my pin 10. that's smth i can be proud of. other than that, no.
i didn't bowl well.
expected it i guesss. but i didn't expect it to be so badly. like. 137.9 avg today. of 8 games. grrr. if i'd bowl as well as i did in collegiate, i'll probably get smth seriously. firstly, the changes made to my thumbhole requires a change of my timing. so today, khairul helped me alot in the alignment... but the timing, abit too risky to change. so was wrong whole time. i really wanted to win doubles with asto. coz its her last year and its my first yr and seriously la, this is the chance.

overall, i've let myself down. coz i didn't push myself hard enough to push the team - me, asto, nadia, lynette. i tried and got mentally zonked. asto could feel it too. there was a pt in time that i feel like... man. what is bowling? like how sia? i let coach, tp, saa down. maybe not down lar. but like, not proud. haha. more imptly, i dun think God feels that i gave my best shots for Him.
honestly, i hardly spared (besides 7 & 10) strike percentages were also really low. those strike ones are like, drop ball. erks.


gd for the t1 girls who clinched the abv mentioned medals. esp to she-na and angeline who got all events medals.

sorry to say, but i was a little shocked at the guys. overall was 3rd. when i heard NP's name, i got shocked and got really sad la. coz in my heart, i knew tp boys could win. i guesss wad coach said was right, the other bowlers have stepped up, it is only right for us to step up further if we want to win. haha. he says that for next yr, we must get back both the girls and guys champion trophy. if not like.. not complete

i learnt hard lessons again. also from uncle sam who was there to support us.


the hunger to win next yr's polite is higher, or even the future tournaments. there's too much failure in tournaments already.

duno why. probablty i know? like.. after bowling.. very sianz. not bored.. but like.. wah piang- those kind of feelings. somemore raining. emo. hahahhaa.
went simpang for dinner then when alvin's house...

eveyone's shagged. 8-5pm lehs. but i want to thank all supporter who came down to support. 8 hrs looking at ppl bowl and not bowling is no fun at all. and esp coach, who is constantly on his feet, together with khairul and nicholas.


there are things that still gotta be done. SC. if i'd ask for a break, they sure won't give me. grr. nvm. pia man.


can't wait for worship nite. also of fine tuning needs to be done. recital is also coming up. bless my soul.

last trng b4

the day.

i added a total of 3 black tapes and 1 white tape.

shots are pretty much better but i'm still working on it. at least i hit at 152, 4 strikes, 1 spare and the rest opened

i dun really have much of a choice now, but to really bowl darn well.

visually, my ball seems faster, and break pt is longer down the lane. i really duno if i can still bowl a 10-10 at yishun.

my knee literaly jerked 5 times in total today. its the right knee. coz of my left knee, i think i've been unconciously put my weight on my right. so it becomes really painful now. when sitting down, i cannot straigten my leg. and this is bad.

after a few shots today, my right knee jerked after placing a gd shot. scared sia. its like without warning and suddenly.

i really hope that there's nothing wrong, slthough the left seems to be getting better but the right is getting worser.

lastly, dun think i'll be blogging tmr.worship prac is at 7pm tmr. i think will probably end at 10 plus. and wil be home around 11 plus 12. and on sat.... IT IS IT. hoho. gotta be at yishun by 8am.. probably be at asto's house at 7 or earlier to provide free morning wake up call for the hdb with her piano. ahhaha. jk.


anyays.

thank God for wilson today. had a chat with him abt sc matters.he understands my situation now. and i guess that's all i need from sc. haha. he ask me if i could run for the Pass It On in TP... 1.5k sprint. hahaa. dun think i can make it... as in i'm afraid my knees will give way. OKOK . I PROMISE to got back to the horrible CGH to get my knees checked again. haiz.

randomly, i just wished that i have a full family. like jill's. i wouldn't say i'm jealous seeing like a happy family kinda thing. but i'm thankful still, coz there are ppl out there who can b very desperate parental love literally.
anyways. NEXT. haha.


pls pray for me. for strength, concentration and agression on the lanes. btw. our dear team 1 boys burn-ed and got a 893 series... yea. haha. and of couse, back on me again, healing and protection over my knee. i hope to like 'burn' ahhaa. maybe just set up a small flame la. hahaha. ok lame.

btw. today i overslept and missed marketing lecture by mr. gary. ): sad ok. i called mr. gary b4 to ask for advice abt the marketing dip. i wanna see who's he actually. haha. haiz. intensive trng can be tiring i guess.



bye for now. the management wishes u good game and high scores. (:

lessons learnt

today. i've seen the other side of ppl. sadly, my classmates. i dun want to rant anything abt it here coz i feell that its case sensitive. but nevertheless, i've learnt that poly is really a place to grow up and face the working world.

i've also come to acknowledge that one can never have low self-esteem. with that, its gd enough to kill u and make u a less compenent fighter if u want to excel.

in addition, loyaltly. as much as i wanted to join this grp who asked me to join them much later, i had to be loyal to my agreement. never will i back out b4 completing the necessary task unless situations call of it.

also. by 14th nov, i have to make a decision to persue Dip in Lom, Biz or Marktg. mostly probably Marktg. i seeked the acad advisor today. and last mon. both said to go ahead with interest. sounds DUH. but when it comes to situation like such, it can be tough to go ahead with ur 'interest' so as to say. while talking to her abt my selection and stuff, this lecturer from CMM walked passed n joined in the conversation after hearing that i wanted to do CMM badly coz of all the photo, video and mainly media stuff.

after quite a long chat. i've decided, for now, to go ahead with my original Marktg, and further my studies in the U on media and stuff like that.
i'll probably seek mrs teo. my mose beloved eng tchr in my entire life for advices.

after sch, watched alittle of NP and RP match b4 heading for bowling. didn't realise that jon leow coaches np until i saw him on the field. nvm bout that.



today is wednesday.

which also means my 2nd last trng b4 sat.

i didn't enjoy it. i didn't even feel that i was bowling. i was literally throwing shots down the lanes, the dry dry lanes. sinfully carrying the heavy ball, rather than utilize it.
coach could tell that i was frustrated and angry. i promised that i will not be emo ever again, unless really, i have to be. haha. successfuly, (or not) i was resorting to anger and judgement on my porr equip.

after trng, coach spoke to me in private. one of the things he said was that "you don't deserve this. i've seen u bowl much better". oh man. i was encouraged la. i've been struggling ever since one fateful trng when some changes over took me, till now- its been bad. to add on and emphasize how horrible my bowiling is now, i bowling a score of 98. yes. i mean like, if i used house ball or smth, 'm sure to bowl better than that or smth.

trng as also did a little simulation. haha. whereby when we bowl and setting up our routine, we'll have ppl distracting, saying stuff to distract the bowler from performing.quite funny though.


today, no, for the past 2 months, i'm really disappointed in myself. no, not the low self-esteem thing, but the hunger. the hunger to want to bowl well to excel and do tp proud. the fighting spirit is getting tired. my routine is all messed up and i feel just not-right on the start-up, what more, down the lanes?


nvm about that. sat is it. we'll see. coach is really really anticipating sat's game. he has warned us to buy finger inserts incase anything happens on that day, and even to the extent of asking us to get extra shoe laces in case our shoe laces snap or smth like that. haha. how merticulous can unc lawrence get la. he's really like a caring bowling-dad.


i've been, as u can see, busy. busy with trngs.
thus, explains my infreq blogging as compared to the usual.
i've been practising my guit. still got like 10 more songs to figure out.

prac's on fri. 7pm. will probably end around 10 11pm. i hope that i have enough sleep for sat man.


among all this, i wanna thank God for charissa. she was doing Campus-E today and reminded me of a faithful servant. i have been unfaithful honestly as my percentage of submitting to tiredness has incresase drastically over these few wks.
haha. Ah Beng Christian Doing Evangalism For God. in short, ABCDEFG. hahaha. quite cool ar.



lastly, should i?



Hi Marian,

I am John XXXX XXX XXXXX, (LPSS). Member of PSS.

I have written to the Singapore Sports Council to request permission to take photos in the National stadium. The person in charge Mr Paul Loh (Executive for Group Communications) said that the National Stadium is our heritage, is a symbol of sports since 1973 and now making way for a better and modern one. He wants someone like you to help him to organize a photos competition next year to give all Singaporean a charge to capture the mood and character of the National Stadium before it disappear. They are welcome you and your society to be part of this project. In another words they need your help to organize the competition.


The contact of Mr Paul Loh is shown below:

Executive (Group Comms)
Commuications & Knowledge
Singapore Sports Council
DID: XXXXXXXX



Best regards,
XXXXXXXX John
Tel: XXXXXXXX
Email:XXXXXXX@nus.edu.sg
HP: XXXXXXXX




oks. firstly, i'm not sure if this is within my humanly power.. and it's quite vague. like who do i approach for all the necessary logistics and manpower and stuff like that. it should be done asap right? hurhur. i'm very excitied. but abit excitied. time constraint? but big opportunity once again. but there's many professionals out there and stuff like that, and i feel really inferior. ANDASS. WRU?? ASAP PLS. then i'll call to have a gd chat, first.


tims like such. i really wish that i have a SLR all to myself.
my want for an SLR has become a need. oh man. melvin should pass me some of his 'LB' luck. ahha. speaking of which, i feel that its been eons since i've seen meisy, kenneth, leying and many many more photogs whom have helped me so much.




pls do pray for me. i'm really worried for my IP and my knee. i hope that nothing happens.

Worship Night 2006

Team Temasek

its the season of IP.

so far, as of today, what i've heard,

TP has cliched champion in netball, volleyball (girls & boys)...
and more to come.

now is in the midst of IP for contact rugby.
soon to come, touch rugby and BOWLING.

the volleyball guys did great. was intensed.

i really wanna do well on sat. i dun want to go yishun just to bowl. i want to bring back something for tp and make ppl and God proud.

i hurt my back today. was so pain that i could get up. was sitting there in pain could cry out for help coz it was so pain. haha. then it was so pain that i cried. haha. 1st time sia.

ok. dates are drawing near. and i'm looking forward to them. but, as well as hoping that there's more time. hurhur. and even more xiong is that acacd syllabus seems to get tougher. probably the expectations?

nah. i'll give do my best and give my all. i know who's watching over me. :p

as usual. trng. i still cannot get back my release. i hate the way i'm bowling now. its just so not consistant and look as if i've just learnt bowlign like that.


ok.

i've got the team temasek jacket today! and yea, the sch's team temasek shirt. (: ahhaha. (: FOC. :p its meant to be. i know this. to promote institutional pride

Sports club Synenergy camp today and tmr.
i have trng. and tmr, after trng, gotta go sembawang to celebrate baby's 1st birthday.

do i need to explain myself which i've already did?

i need an understanding committee. at the rate we're gg abt, i'm goona break. and not just me. and the sad thing is that the 'breakage' is not caused by physical stress activites, but people's frustrations. so i have to move out of that area. that 'stressed' area.

nvm. tmr's trng at yishun. oks. so now, trainings to them has become excuses. can't go for the sevens game or wadeva. NVM. ): and yes. i still have to emphasize, trainings has now become excuses. how sad hur. when IP is next sat.


honestly, i really wished poly students are more open minded and quit being political and petty. haha. i've been doing alot of (official) calling lately for 2 sepearate grps. 1st, was the nyaa photogs, ahhaa. and 2nd, poly students (in general). haha. i noticed that poly students have really a bad command of the English Language. i'm not trying to say i speak well/ articulate well or wadeva, but the differences are really striking. and appalling. (as how mrs boey would putit- "so unbecoming!")

i have ppl saying "meeting where held ar?". or. "when are we going to have a meeting?" directly lifted, btw. then the poor articulation of my reciever had to repeat his/herself coz i couldn't decipher what he or she is saying.

i'm not putting anyone down or anything. probably all poly students should go for Language Arts Programme, inc. myself. Since polys in sg are to 'groom us for the future working world', shouldn't we at least start now? rather than putting Singapore's name at stake.

Singlish, to me, its fine. it makes us unique singaporeans. but at the same time, articulation is needed to let urself be understood.

ok. i'm not promoting any speak gd eng campaign. its just my 2 cents worth and i hope to do smth abt this in the near coming future.

 
my mama's bro's daughter's daughter. 

i felt so much better on the field today.

for fitness.i wanted the running one but we did hills instead.

i could actually trip over myself and fall hard, flat.

nevertheless.
i feel that we can bring smth back for U17. and aiysa has so much faith in our improvement.

anyways. to cut long short.

i've decided to dah dah dah, dah dah, and dah.
(: back on track again. and i know that God will be with be ever. HARS.

thank u. i'm back. alive and kickin'

marian-ed

"If anyone serves, he should do it with the strength God provides, so that in all things, God may be praised through Jesus Christ" 1 peter 4:11.

such a timely verse. thank u girl. u know who u are. (i hope to be there man. and talke laots of photos.)


i tried doing accounting. must work harder.

ok. at the IT fair, i bought a $15 24-in-one wired-in card reader, and a CF 2GB highspeed card (kingston) at $69.90. yes. kill me. wanted to help evil twin get, but not enough cash. he bought his 1gb at $50 few wks ago. haiz. this means that my savings has now reduced by 30%, increasing the time frame of me getting my SLR. haiz.


boys had rugby today. againts NP. saw nigel.
pax was already playing for tp.

anyways. i shot the rugby match using one of the rugger's cam.. helped them take pics.. its a nikon D70s, Sigma 18-50 lens. puii. how close i needed to get man. i'm gg for canon. HAH. finally i've chosen the 'brand' i'm aiming for. cheaper aanyways. and can kope lens from evil twin. hahha.
pax's shorts tore today. took a shot of that. got a nc16 shot.. and a few gd shots. i used my pns though. though its still not focusin as well as it should be, its fine.



freak out. its Nov.1st. NOV. pls.
2 more months and its 2007.


IP is next sat and its getting freakier and freakier coz i'm still not very much prepared. today, bowling again.

i went to the alley. excitied to train,again. when i got 'booted' up and everything, waiting for the pin lines to come on, i had a moment to pause and think. i look at the lanes. the pins.

my passsion for bowling, this yr has taken onto a whole new perspective. i duno how to put it. but smth's just different. neither neg or positive way. just diffferent.

on the field and on the lanes its a different story. a different inside. not just a different game/sport or wadeva u call it. but a different me.


ok today.
one of my team mate is unable to come for trng due to a committee meeting. i'm in sc committee. main com. and i give up the meetings for trng coz i feel that bowling is my area to shine for TP. at the same time, it disappointed my comm members.
thus, i got alittle frustrated with her for a moment for putting comm mtng above trng esp when IP is one wk away.
so i reflected. through her, it gave me another deeper perspective of my sc comm members that i've been disappointing. it gave me a greater understanding of my sc comm.

and as for my sc comm. there's little transparency, understading and more imptly, trust. i dun wish to say anymore here. its not goona reflect well on the gd name of TP Sports Club.


i feeeel like running to an island with my bible, guitar and pen and not come back.
i feeeel like jumping off a cliff with a safety net below me.
i feeeel like sprinting like the wind with ppl chasing abfter me with a rugby ball in my hand.
i feeeel like shouting at the top of the mountain so that eagles may fly right infront of me.
i feeel like bursting willy foo's camera at high speed till the CF card is fulla dn batt is hot.
i feeeel like take my bowling ball. the plastic one, and throw it into the ocean.
i feeeel like being with u. walking with you, in our place hearing each other's heart.
i feeeel like reciting the whole Bible to ppl all around me with nothign in my hands.
i just wamma bowl well iln the IP and get that medal and shine for tp and God with me.



i just wanna feel marian again. someone that people can turn to. someone that ppl can feel encouraged by. someone whom can inspire.

got it from YH! thanksman. HAHA. ctrl + [printscreensyssr] then ctrl + v







my ex-p700 has fungus on its lens. and photos out dun seem to be focused. and shuttter is really slow. and i'm on auto mode.

ok.



my official gg home time for the week is 11pm.
official diinner time is 11.15pm.

my breaks in sch are like. admin time for me. even i wanna go do big business in the toilet gotta make it fast.


after sch, went to augustine's house to seek help for the guitar. i'm resorting to just whacking on the scales. the cds are tooo chim already. and like for mighty to save. needs at least 3 delay pedals. hoho.

nvm. i'm still trying hard.


msn trng was medical trng today. quite fun.

ytd durign trng, ball hit ankle. now it still hurrts big time and its swelling. yes. at this crucial point in time huh.



strong. independant



sincere believing hearts shows to fade away.