today.. both tap and ballet teacher not here.. then got replacement. ms doris took over but its gd. really gd. better than ms emi i guess.. then for tap, i stil prefer ms susan. and i did 3 pi-o-wets!!!! (turns.). ahha. i duno how to spell. ahhaokok
then later.. went to meet sam, shu and jeff. me and shu want to go cut hair.we go cine.. then duno do wad. then walk to paragon to use the toilet then went back. ahhaa.. shouldn't do this kind of thing. ahhahahathen later.. went back to get jeff's car to go PS to cut hair.
in the end, we cut at jean yip. to me its damn ex. haha. 35 bucks. but this is the first time i feel so satisfied. i feel guai k.. coz the guy cut my fringe long and juz touching my eyebrown. then i told him because of sch rules,.. then he cut shorter.. now look abit toot. ahha.but nvm, i'm guai. ahha
then walk walk.. then whole day thinkin of me.. as in.. how i look. so toot. ahha. then also thought of why i miss teens time today. its because of time i guess. i need time to cut my hair and relax. this is my first time since that time i went out wif zen at cine to jalan jalan. but zne one is like only for 2h. soif i dun count.. it would be jan. wanna thank jeff, sam and esp shu for spending time wif me. hah. finally lors. now finding time to go out wif the msh bowlers, chruch friends.. ahah. ok.
then yar lors. later all of us went to jeff's hse. i played com. ya. then later jeff send us home. v thankful.then now like that lors. ok. gonna start on lit.
bye
Saturday, July 31, 2004
Friday, July 30, 2004
today is the day man. finally got to watch spiderman. finally. spiderman 2. was whoa lors. the effects and evrything. dr octopus' actions really freaky. the way those metal things squish ppl's limds and evrything. more scary than that orsbond. hah. watched wif mama. supposed to meet at 715.. for the movie. then late.. so 730. and i missed the first part!. i wanna watch the intro. argh!. haah for sure have spiderman 3 one.. the harry orsbon wana take revenge. ahha. cannot wait. finally watch lors. have to get the cd man. argh. ahha. i like this movie basicaly it inspires me? haha. in some sense lar. like this parker guy, he goes all the way out to save.. even if he doesn't have the special powers in spiderman 2. haha. he saved the kid lors. then also. like that uncle ban, keeps toking about responsibility and i think the move really portrays the quality of a leader and as well as a hero well lor. yea. basically it sncourages me to have more confidence lar.haha. action-pac movie can give me such feelings. haha. yea. love it.
today sch was ok lar. mrs teo was relly sick. really freaked us all out. she suddenly started crying in pain. she says that she cannot breathe and feel that nats is crawling up her brain. so scary. then later had luch, and then went fo rthe video editing course.
today one, as usual, mr koh tok damn fast, expecting us to understand. but today one was cool. so fun k!. hahah. then later wwalked outta sch wif yuan and pang then took a cab to meet mama.
i feel really dumb these few days. juz ytd, i think mama read my blog?. coz i fell asleep while surfing.. then my blog was left on the screen.. then mama wanted to help me shut down.. and i think.... ARHHHHHH.. roar. hopefully she dunno wad is a blog mans. ahha. i'm so so lost in chem lors, physics haiya. tchr also dun like me one. then i go my prefects photos, bowling and class photos. ahha.can't put on blog coz sis sure wun help me scan. then nvm. hopefully to cope some pics from friend's blog. hah. ok anywyas. been really tired. i sleep everywhere. so freakily bz lor. wanna meet up wif friends also cannot. ahha. actually, nv meet up wif friends on wkdays except holidays b4... ssoooo...
i nneed bowling . i nneeed trng. i feel super hopeless lors, sports and studies both so cannot make it. this yr's been a bad yr for me. really. v hopefull for nxt yr. i miss dad. been harping on n on n on n on. its been like 8-9 months? and i haven got over it. serious, i think he should die lors. so damn sway. pls. burn cgh mans. kill the nurses, torture the docs. haha. evil~.
wanyways. i miss teens time and youth alive.. dun thihnk i'll be gg tml coz hafta slot out time to cut hair and do wrk and settle bowling stuff.. goash .like never ending. then then following 3 wrks will b bowling the league.
if only i'm spiderman. strong and intelligent. hah. waits long long lar.
today sch was ok lar. mrs teo was relly sick. really freaked us all out. she suddenly started crying in pain. she says that she cannot breathe and feel that nats is crawling up her brain. so scary. then later had luch, and then went fo rthe video editing course.
today one, as usual, mr koh tok damn fast, expecting us to understand. but today one was cool. so fun k!. hahah. then later wwalked outta sch wif yuan and pang then took a cab to meet mama.
i feel really dumb these few days. juz ytd, i think mama read my blog?. coz i fell asleep while surfing.. then my blog was left on the screen.. then mama wanted to help me shut down.. and i think.... ARHHHHHH.. roar. hopefully she dunno wad is a blog mans. ahha. i'm so so lost in chem lors, physics haiya. tchr also dun like me one. then i go my prefects photos, bowling and class photos. ahha.can't put on blog coz sis sure wun help me scan. then nvm. hopefully to cope some pics from friend's blog. hah. ok anywyas. been really tired. i sleep everywhere. so freakily bz lor. wanna meet up wif friends also cannot. ahha. actually, nv meet up wif friends on wkdays except holidays b4... ssoooo...
i nneed bowling . i nneeed trng. i feel super hopeless lors, sports and studies both so cannot make it. this yr's been a bad yr for me. really. v hopefull for nxt yr. i miss dad. been harping on n on n on n on. its been like 8-9 months? and i haven got over it. serious, i think he should die lors. so damn sway. pls. burn cgh mans. kill the nurses, torture the docs. haha. evil~.
wanyways. i miss teens time and youth alive.. dun thihnk i'll be gg tml coz hafta slot out time to cut hair and do wrk and settle bowling stuff.. goash .like never ending. then then following 3 wrks will b bowling the league.
if only i'm spiderman. strong and intelligent. hah. waits long long lar.
Thursday, July 29, 2004
super duper tired. during chem, slept throughout..and then its like i duno understnad a thing.. then physics.. i failed my test. then v bad lar. today was australian maths competition.. then like ok lar. only the last 10 q.. ahha. if no respind, its 3 marks, get it wrong, 0 marks, get it right, 8 marks. cool marking system ar. ahha. yar. i did like only 4 of the dfifficult ones. haha. no confidence. the rest was easy. ahaha. ok
today again, v buzy, after sch got debate meeting,.. then bowling. finally settle all the adim and photos. finally mans.. haiz. . but still got alot of things.
today trng really sux. coz uncle jack wasn't near my lane.. uncle francis' advice seems to do harm to me..as in.. insteading of being better, i became worse. added 5 tapes into my ball.. which is not like 20 tapes.. hah. i need uncle jack man. my timing all screwd up. release suz. no rev, ball sppeed slow, carrying ball, break writst, drop ball too early, ball stuck/ ball loose. wads man. i really duno sia. uncle jack really gotta help me
so much hw haven completed. really pray that i'l lhave enough time to finish my maths, physics and espically lit. argh. so stuck lors.
seems bad for me, sch, sports, time. har.
today again, v buzy, after sch got debate meeting,.. then bowling. finally settle all the adim and photos. finally mans.. haiz. . but still got alot of things.
today trng really sux. coz uncle jack wasn't near my lane.. uncle francis' advice seems to do harm to me..as in.. insteading of being better, i became worse. added 5 tapes into my ball.. which is not like 20 tapes.. hah. i need uncle jack man. my timing all screwd up. release suz. no rev, ball sppeed slow, carrying ball, break writst, drop ball too early, ball stuck/ ball loose. wads man. i really duno sia. uncle jack really gotta help me
so much hw haven completed. really pray that i'l lhave enough time to finish my maths, physics and espically lit. argh. so stuck lors.
seems bad for me, sch, sports, time. har.
Wednesday, July 28, 2004
ok. today physics tests. was an easy paper.. but screwed up. coz i used atm pressure as 10 x 10^6.. supposedly 1.0 x 10^5.. so yar. haha. can also forget about passing. was naughty and restless again during maths. ahha.
after sch.. was the video editing course. today's one like more enriching and benifical. but too fast. ahha. ok
then come home, do admin stuff, dinner and then do wad i'm doing now. this is bad.. i have like 2 projects.. and much admin stuff. hah. deads.
after sch.. was the video editing course. today's one like more enriching and benifical. but too fast. ahha. ok
then come home, do admin stuff, dinner and then do wad i'm doing now. this is bad.. i have like 2 projects.. and much admin stuff. hah. deads.
Tuesday, July 27, 2004
hmm.. today schh is like super tiriing. ahha. duno why also. v lost in chemisty and physics. a maths. on the verge of loosing it. ha. today went bowling. hah. finally. a time where i throw all my mentl out. kinda ok lar.juz that today's rev not fast, ball spped slow, timing out and no impact. haha. but ok.
then my class' booster session is on thue\rs.. clashes wif trng!!!!!!!! argh. i'm thinking of how to pirortise.. mayb. tml, i join sam's class.. then skip video editing. then go trng on thurs.. this is almost impossible i guess.. coz i duno wad mrs lie might say. mr pang would be sad/angry/disapoointed that i dun put video editing as my piroty.. hmm. hows? suggestions? yuanting willl be mad wif me. haha. btw.. yuan look v healthy today.. so rare!> should take pic of her. haha
haha. ok. juz read gary's blog. ahha. so touching. he still rmbrs me after we sort of "disconnected" for long due to bz schedules. well, i gess he's also v bz wif he's plannigna nd stuff for track. miss his meanie-ness and bickerings. ahha. nevertheless.. i see him in the morning.. but not for long this time.. 197 comes 1 min b4 196.. so ya. haha.rejoice!. no lar.. jkjk. hah
then my class' booster session is on thue\rs.. clashes wif trng!!!!!!!! argh. i'm thinking of how to pirortise.. mayb. tml, i join sam's class.. then skip video editing. then go trng on thurs.. this is almost impossible i guess.. coz i duno wad mrs lie might say. mr pang would be sad/angry/disapoointed that i dun put video editing as my piroty.. hmm. hows? suggestions? yuanting willl be mad wif me. haha. btw.. yuan look v healthy today.. so rare!> should take pic of her. haha
haha. ok. juz read gary's blog. ahha. so touching. he still rmbrs me after we sort of "disconnected" for long due to bz schedules. well, i gess he's also v bz wif he's plannigna nd stuff for track. miss his meanie-ness and bickerings. ahha. nevertheless.. i see him in the morning.. but not for long this time.. 197 comes 1 min b4 196.. so ya. haha.rejoice!. no lar.. jkjk. hah
Monday, July 26, 2004
super super tight now man. the time i have, the thigns i gotta do. juz too much. yet at the same time, God has been wrking in my life this wk. i feel tt God is there to help me. yea. u allways hear this... but this time, i feel that i can support and lean on him. hah. but serious, techanically, i have no no no time at all. juz no time to play my guitar and stuff.haha. But God is wonderful. he seems to speak through ppl this wk. eg... the ppl who tag on my board.. that *someone. thanks. haha. really needed that. well, i'm not sure of how strong my mental is, but i doubt that i can fanthom it. i dun seem to be able to control myself and emmotions. well, skip that.
billy... hmmmss.. i guess must wait till end of year?
juz today, i feel encouraged. by scoldings. hah. ok. first was mrs tang.. she say. ".. marian.. actually u are v gd in bio, u need to be more discipline.". hhaah. as for me, i feel that on the category of discipline, i gotta wrk on my respect. that would help alot. then later. after sch, had a little serious meeting wif mr. lim and sam on managing the bowling team. its time we let go. but i guess it's gonna be v difficult for me. i am a perfectionist and becoz of this, i cannot trust someone to do a job properly.. i'll juz worry. lim says that trchrs "complain" about me. "marian, u are actually v bright. its juz that u're not focus.. ". aahha. i felt like.. whoa. i m bright? hah. but that was one of the encouagement. well, i guess that setbacks are really indeed opportunities to learn and grow.
i wanna help ppl. i'm been thinking and trying to find time to tok to joan wif sara. juz couldn't. there's alot of hinderance from doing so, be it mentally or physically and even spiritually.
ok. i sound so serious, hah. goota let all the air out man. yts... stayed over at nat's house wif sara. haha. her family is juz funny lar. like typical story bk kinda of family.. EG... drinking milk b4 slp, lights off at 10 and all. in comparison, my family is totally opp. ppl here wif me are noctonal. haha. mama slps at 4-6am.. sis 3-6am. haha. as in the time they usually GO to slp. haha. total op. she has loads of living animals and creatures in the house. this really big shark-looking fish. arowana i think.. so many hamsters.. i think there's 2 3 legged ones, many many fish tanks and other fish, and a dog. haha. really. her house can release stress on lor. haa.
today alone was hetic. v v hectic. hafta get used to it. tml is much worse. thurs gets even worse. haha. today, i juz looged onto the com, check my friendster. 2 unknow guys wanna befriend me. haha. check this out man.
"alex here, mi 19 tis yr.. stay hougang... nice
to meet u.. u nw stuyding where . gt stead? mi
nope.. invite mi at ____@hotmail.com.. my hp
no is 9_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ .. tc,,, have a nice day... "
like wadeva. give up lars. friendster to me is for me to hunt for pri sch friends/ and look for ppl. not to anyhow make friends. ahha. check another one out:
"haha, jus wanna noe more fren, i noe its lame
liddat bt im jus liddat loh. muahaha~~~ well,
add moi can? my addy at moi profile there kkz?
buai! tc worx!"
... haha. damn haliarous. but these ppl, help me to have more confidence and faith in myself. aha.God work wonders man. ahha. super funy lor.
ok. i have to get up and face life. life is really really challenging. how can i end it?. i really wonder y ppl give up so easily. dun they see a light in evry tunnel?. pls. treasure ur life. i dun want to scold or try and comfort u guys. u ppl are big enough to know ur surroundings. this is singapore. get it right. u've gotta push urself hard here.
i've so much mixed feelings. i love to help and solve ppl's probs but smths find it v difficult. sometimes, juz like lorraine, the devil torments u. i guess this is where ur faith have to stand strong and firm for Christ. oh wells.
billy... hmmmss.. i guess must wait till end of year?
juz today, i feel encouraged. by scoldings. hah. ok. first was mrs tang.. she say. ".. marian.. actually u are v gd in bio, u need to be more discipline.". hhaah. as for me, i feel that on the category of discipline, i gotta wrk on my respect. that would help alot. then later. after sch, had a little serious meeting wif mr. lim and sam on managing the bowling team. its time we let go. but i guess it's gonna be v difficult for me. i am a perfectionist and becoz of this, i cannot trust someone to do a job properly.. i'll juz worry. lim says that trchrs "complain" about me. "marian, u are actually v bright. its juz that u're not focus.. ". aahha. i felt like.. whoa. i m bright? hah. but that was one of the encouagement. well, i guess that setbacks are really indeed opportunities to learn and grow.
i wanna help ppl. i'm been thinking and trying to find time to tok to joan wif sara. juz couldn't. there's alot of hinderance from doing so, be it mentally or physically and even spiritually.
ok. i sound so serious, hah. goota let all the air out man. yts... stayed over at nat's house wif sara. haha. her family is juz funny lar. like typical story bk kinda of family.. EG... drinking milk b4 slp, lights off at 10 and all. in comparison, my family is totally opp. ppl here wif me are noctonal. haha. mama slps at 4-6am.. sis 3-6am. haha. as in the time they usually GO to slp. haha. total op. she has loads of living animals and creatures in the house. this really big shark-looking fish. arowana i think.. so many hamsters.. i think there's 2 3 legged ones, many many fish tanks and other fish, and a dog. haha. really. her house can release stress on lor. haa.
today alone was hetic. v v hectic. hafta get used to it. tml is much worse. thurs gets even worse. haha. today, i juz looged onto the com, check my friendster. 2 unknow guys wanna befriend me. haha. check this out man.
"alex here, mi 19 tis yr.. stay hougang... nice
to meet u.. u nw stuyding where . gt stead? mi
nope.. invite mi at ____@hotmail.com.. my hp
no is 9_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ .. tc,,, have a nice day... "
like wadeva. give up lars. friendster to me is for me to hunt for pri sch friends/ and look for ppl. not to anyhow make friends. ahha. check another one out:
"haha, jus wanna noe more fren, i noe its lame
liddat bt im jus liddat loh. muahaha~~~ well,
add moi can? my addy at moi profile there kkz?
buai! tc worx!"
... haha. damn haliarous. but these ppl, help me to have more confidence and faith in myself. aha.God work wonders man. ahha. super funy lor.
ok. i have to get up and face life. life is really really challenging. how can i end it?. i really wonder y ppl give up so easily. dun they see a light in evry tunnel?. pls. treasure ur life. i dun want to scold or try and comfort u guys. u ppl are big enough to know ur surroundings. this is singapore. get it right. u've gotta push urself hard here.
i've so much mixed feelings. i love to help and solve ppl's probs but smths find it v difficult. sometimes, juz like lorraine, the devil torments u. i guess this is where ur faith have to stand strong and firm for Christ. oh wells.
Saturday, July 24, 2004
today morning as usual, went for dance. hah. ms doris taught us today as ms emi was away for course. then for tap.. was kidna tiring.. and the recital dance is getting more and more seduceive. hah. but the dance kinda cool.. heard that its goona be like netting-stockings, black erm... layer skirt and a red top? wif read background on stage. ahha. sure look damn classic, coz if u do the thing well, it look high-class and stylish. aha love it. ok
then took a cab back to sch for speecha nd prize giving day. hah. ms kee speak right, i didn't slp, i was wide awake. coz she mentioned and rmbred that bowling won smth in 2003. hah. then yar lors. the rest.. ermm. was doozing off. then yar. got the award. ahha. helpful student. wahha. then after tt was reception. mrs tan, mr pang and mdn wong all tease me k. hah. then i con mr pang! and many friends/prefects and teachers. hahha. using that silk (4x) and the stop game. ahha. now like got fashion liao.. mind teasers are popular. hah. everywhere i go, everyone i meet for this wk, sure got the johnnny game, and many lors. hah. damn funy. life is so interesting. haha. ok. then we took pictures,,. using yuan things photo. ahha . go her blog see.. ok lar.. i post later. haha. so yar lors. then went home wif geraldyne.
then went home, bathe, change n makan wif mama, sis, n 2 other relatives?. aaha. close relatives. ok. my mama's bro's daughter and er husband. hahaokok. went to down-t east and ate sakura. piang it was $24 per person for dinner and was like really worht it lor. freee flow of sushi, jap food, desserts, many drinks, .. ETC. alot man. alot. first time got so much variety. it was to celebrate sis' bday. but she didnn't eat much. dun think she like jap food.. tell her suggest she dun wan. anyways.. i ate quite alot. haha mama ate alot. the place got quantity but not much quality. ahah. but was gd lar.
ok then here i am now. dun feel like blogging anymoree. tcs.
yuan ting and me. ahha..this is yuan ting. mentor.
Posted by Hello
nat, sara, gera, me. ahaha. suppose to act dao. then all pangseh me.
Posted by Hello
sara, gera, me, nat. haha. nat cute ar.
Posted by Hello
hahahaha. mr pang. hotel manager? some boys' sch prefect? teacher? taxi-driver? ok lar.. shhhh. ahha
Posted by Hello
yea. real close friends. all of them
Posted by Hello
then took a cab back to sch for speecha nd prize giving day. hah. ms kee speak right, i didn't slp, i was wide awake. coz she mentioned and rmbred that bowling won smth in 2003. hah. then yar lors. the rest.. ermm. was doozing off. then yar. got the award. ahha. helpful student. wahha. then after tt was reception. mrs tan, mr pang and mdn wong all tease me k. hah. then i con mr pang! and many friends/prefects and teachers. hahha. using that silk (4x) and the stop game. ahha. now like got fashion liao.. mind teasers are popular. hah. everywhere i go, everyone i meet for this wk, sure got the johnnny game, and many lors. hah. damn funy. life is so interesting. haha. ok. then we took pictures,,. using yuan things photo. ahha . go her blog see.. ok lar.. i post later. haha. so yar lors. then went home wif geraldyne.
then went home, bathe, change n makan wif mama, sis, n 2 other relatives?. aaha. close relatives. ok. my mama's bro's daughter and er husband. hahaokok. went to down-t east and ate sakura. piang it was $24 per person for dinner and was like really worht it lor. freee flow of sushi, jap food, desserts, many drinks, .. ETC. alot man. alot. first time got so much variety. it was to celebrate sis' bday. but she didnn't eat much. dun think she like jap food.. tell her suggest she dun wan. anyways.. i ate quite alot. haha mama ate alot. the place got quantity but not much quality. ahah. but was gd lar.
ok then here i am now. dun feel like blogging anymoree. tcs.
yuan ting and me. ahha..this is yuan ting. mentor.
Posted by Hello
nat, sara, gera, me. ahaha. suppose to act dao. then all pangseh me.
Posted by Hello
sara, gera, me, nat. haha. nat cute ar.
Posted by Hello
hahahaha. mr pang. hotel manager? some boys' sch prefect? teacher? taxi-driver? ok lar.. shhhh. ahha
Posted by Hello
yea. real close friends. all of them
Posted by Hello
Friday, July 23, 2004
hmm. today sch was ok lar. basically kind tired.
after sch had debate meeting.. then immediately was the video editing course. kinda boring. coz alll the things is like logical and commom sense and all i know lor.. so basically.. ended at 545...then me, gel and sara had a little meeting till around 630 then i went fro shu's bbq. haha
was shosck at the ppl who went. the girls are expected lar.. the guys.. the usual bowlers.. but got vs ppl.. daryll, han khee n others.. made new friends wif many of the girls.. knew weini better.. knew weiliang and all. had gd talks wif some ppl/ jokes/ craps and all lar.
love today's bbq. one of the best i've had. but gel, nat, sara had conference meeting at 1030. so like my fun-time kenna interupted. kinda sad. but yar.. business plan comes first. but overall, i'm really happy to know ppl better.. esp those girls in sch.. and the guy bowlers.. been ages since i've tok to them and really have nice time together. haiz.
ok. back to wrk. tml is like speecha nd prize giving day. hw and all not done. really worried for CAs. haiz. life.
juz now was browsing friendster. hah. saw charles' profile. big shock lors. whoa. tot he's those zai kind coz i alwyas see him in his bowling attire during the days at yishun.. haha. then now. whoa. wonders how did he do for singapore idol so far. haha. okok. also realised that today, i can't seem to read the notes and play guitar. haha. *prays
off track again. ok. focus.
after sch had debate meeting.. then immediately was the video editing course. kinda boring. coz alll the things is like logical and commom sense and all i know lor.. so basically.. ended at 545...then me, gel and sara had a little meeting till around 630 then i went fro shu's bbq. haha
was shosck at the ppl who went. the girls are expected lar.. the guys.. the usual bowlers.. but got vs ppl.. daryll, han khee n others.. made new friends wif many of the girls.. knew weini better.. knew weiliang and all. had gd talks wif some ppl/ jokes/ craps and all lar.
love today's bbq. one of the best i've had. but gel, nat, sara had conference meeting at 1030. so like my fun-time kenna interupted. kinda sad. but yar.. business plan comes first. but overall, i'm really happy to know ppl better.. esp those girls in sch.. and the guy bowlers.. been ages since i've tok to them and really have nice time together. haiz.
ok. back to wrk. tml is like speecha nd prize giving day. hw and all not done. really worried for CAs. haiz. life.
juz now was browsing friendster. hah. saw charles' profile. big shock lors. whoa. tot he's those zai kind coz i alwyas see him in his bowling attire during the days at yishun.. haha. then now. whoa. wonders how did he do for singapore idol so far. haha. okok. also realised that today, i can't seem to read the notes and play guitar. haha. *prays
off track again. ok. focus.
Thursday, July 22, 2004
i'm a meanie.
today is a disater for me in sch.
in da morning.. during my lovely LIT lesson again.. there goes ms devi. "oh.. ms gammar.. u c that girl.. she is a nottie girl, but have a cute face.".. piang i swear that i could murder her for that. then she asked me.. "wads ur name?...... ".. i answersed.."really ar? i heard b4. issit u ar one of the trouble makers in sch?". wwah... there goes my reputation infront of ms gammar. ok. list of teachers i think and strongly agree that they do not like me . (in order)
1) mrs joan lim
2) ms gammar
3) zhou lao shi.
ok.. still got somemore.. but the rest is i think juz jk wid me.. haha. ok
okok. then today.. after sch. is the prefects punishment. hoho. i was mad. firstly, i heard from gel that exco said that if all prefects must meet at 1.50pm SHARP at the coutyard, if not got serious consequences. and guess wad... all 3/6 and 3/5 prefects rushed down and practically ran down after cheena period juz to reach there at 1.51pm. no lunch. nvm. then much time.. sec 2s start to walk in. piang.. and their sch finish at like 1245.. we at 145.. there is no reason y we were eariler than them. its totally logical. nvm. at that time., all i knew tt 3/6 prefects are half dead. many were sick and already v stressed. coz everythig is push back. like ca and stuff. then sara was sick. gel and lizzy was pale. many were really not feeling too good. 80% had no recess coz of duties and stuff lar. then its really rubbish. then nvm.... then at 2:01pm.. 2 VIP stroll in. stroll. nvm. we all should respect them. serious.
one of dem, ordered them to line up in height.. ok. then i was called back coz i have mc [excused from PE till 3 aug.. argh].. then ok. then nvm.
so i did writtting my reflection, and another floorplan and gave it to amande, hahah. the floorplan and the halll thingy i gave to her was hilarious to me sara and gel. as in the messy wrk lar. i think my content is gd and full-proof.ahha. okok. then later.. i was done and went to eat.
meanwhile. the prefects were made to sit at the basketball court in the blazing and scorching sun to write their reflection.nvm. and also, i think they did not know that mr jega "banned" ppl from going and streanous stuff at the field/courtyard/carpark from 12-230.. heard from shuneng.. coz of the sun. adn today sun was realy strong.
after sometime.. lizzy was very very pale and about to faint. she was sick. and then situation got terrible. i saw the prefects, being made to do (i duno how many) push ups, on the hard, hot, burning ground. at the same time, made to SHOUT till one of vip could hear, " I GAVE MY 100% 1......... I GAVE MY 100% 2.... I GAVE MY.. ".. my heart sank. i saw sara. i was like... mad. she was really sick lor.
you-mei, yt, isabelle, rachael.. all pised and angry. for me, i felt that if they really want to punish, do smth more constructive to the sch.. eg, clean the whole sch, clean toilets and chairs/ tables / classrooms since our sch is like sooo dirty liao. rather than in the sun. i was very veyr angry. so i shouted at some of the exco.. in a mean/harsh tone lar. cannot tahan anymore. i was telling myself no no no.. controll.. control.. (coz of last time that thing).. then cannot.. so i juz shouted .. i think at melissa and amande. then i walked to the court yard.. and shouted at duno who. was mad lar basically. duno wad i was saying. saying everything from inside.
1stly, heart v pain to see ppl suffer. then also i see someone 'gloating'. to me lar.. 2ndly, its really ridiculour and heartless, upon the fact that MANY ppl were sick and ill, and v busy coz of prefects' marching and all..its really no point lar..
then cannot tahan. then cry. haha. its ridiculous of me to do so lar. okko,. i explain later..
then later.. buay tahan. then juz left wif sam and shu for bowling. haha. trishsala mama saw us at the road so fetch us there. was v thankful. ok.. that's about it so far. the rest.. i not sure and no 1st hand sources to blog. i think read yuan's and gel's blog? yea. ok.
after that.. bowling. ahha. supposedly to ask them check their details.. but i forgotten. then also, made many in-organised annoucements and all. so yar. trng. mixed wif them. missed the times we bowled seperately as the team. it was more fun lar. then trng.. ahha. i like my release towards the end.. my speed improved.. miraculously.. . i didn't bowl since 9 of june.. then now can bowl better.. ahha. very happy lar. then yar lor. that's about it. i juz love bowling.
basically, commenting on my personal self, i wanna declare that this blog is strictly for me to complain/ vent and everything. i do not wish to see pl using my statement mentioned here to discriminate oor use in vain lar. bascially, this is a place where i say everything. i say thorugh words lar. okok. i realised smth about me. ever since dad pass away, i become more sensitive and expressive. i'm no longer the strong girl i used to be. okok. yes, wif all the capt and prefect stuff.... i seems to. i still and handle practiacal and basic physical stuff. but. i can't handly myself emmotionally. i canot control myself. i have to be myself. if someone is damn higher then me who is really and rightfully in the wrong or irresponsible, i cannot control but to vent at you. hah. yes. today i almost wanted to shout and be violent infront of aini. thank God there's isabelle, yt, you-mei n my 3 gd friends to hold me back. haha. emmmotionaly eh?. marian is really argh. hah. okok. wadeva. see. i'm so sensitive wif teachers and ppl who doesn't associate wif me. i'm juz so intruding to the society, i 'm juz to concern for the welfare for ppl. argh.
okok. anyways.. regarding the prefects thing... i will forget evything one . i'm sorry to the exco for being once again irrespectful and all. yes, i do understand that i still have to respect u guys even if u all are -wrong-. anyways. yea. i'm also the person who forgets a sad-today and hopes for tml.
wadeva. anyways. i gtg makan now. gtg. thanks to friends and ppl who call me and msg me. a simple msg really cheered me up. ahha. juz like "boo..", wahhaa. serious man. today gary siaow ar. haha. "boo.".. aha, okok,.. nvm. then yar lor.. free incoming,... anything, call me.. try not to msg yar.. free incoming!. wha./nvm
today is a disater for me in sch.
in da morning.. during my lovely LIT lesson again.. there goes ms devi. "oh.. ms gammar.. u c that girl.. she is a nottie girl, but have a cute face.".. piang i swear that i could murder her for that. then she asked me.. "wads ur name?...... ".. i answersed.."really ar? i heard b4. issit u ar one of the trouble makers in sch?". wwah... there goes my reputation infront of ms gammar. ok. list of teachers i think and strongly agree that they do not like me . (in order)
1) mrs joan lim
2) ms gammar
3) zhou lao shi.
ok.. still got somemore.. but the rest is i think juz jk wid me.. haha. ok
okok. then today.. after sch. is the prefects punishment. hoho. i was mad. firstly, i heard from gel that exco said that if all prefects must meet at 1.50pm SHARP at the coutyard, if not got serious consequences. and guess wad... all 3/6 and 3/5 prefects rushed down and practically ran down after cheena period juz to reach there at 1.51pm. no lunch. nvm. then much time.. sec 2s start to walk in. piang.. and their sch finish at like 1245.. we at 145.. there is no reason y we were eariler than them. its totally logical. nvm. at that time., all i knew tt 3/6 prefects are half dead. many were sick and already v stressed. coz everythig is push back. like ca and stuff. then sara was sick. gel and lizzy was pale. many were really not feeling too good. 80% had no recess coz of duties and stuff lar. then its really rubbish. then nvm.... then at 2:01pm.. 2 VIP stroll in. stroll. nvm. we all should respect them. serious.
one of dem, ordered them to line up in height.. ok. then i was called back coz i have mc [excused from PE till 3 aug.. argh].. then ok. then nvm.
so i did writtting my reflection, and another floorplan and gave it to amande, hahah. the floorplan and the halll thingy i gave to her was hilarious to me sara and gel. as in the messy wrk lar. i think my content is gd and full-proof.ahha. okok. then later.. i was done and went to eat.
meanwhile. the prefects were made to sit at the basketball court in the blazing and scorching sun to write their reflection.nvm. and also, i think they did not know that mr jega "banned" ppl from going and streanous stuff at the field/courtyard/carpark from 12-230.. heard from shuneng.. coz of the sun. adn today sun was realy strong.
after sometime.. lizzy was very very pale and about to faint. she was sick. and then situation got terrible. i saw the prefects, being made to do (i duno how many) push ups, on the hard, hot, burning ground. at the same time, made to SHOUT till one of vip could hear, " I GAVE MY 100% 1......... I GAVE MY 100% 2.... I GAVE MY.. ".. my heart sank. i saw sara. i was like... mad. she was really sick lor.
you-mei, yt, isabelle, rachael.. all pised and angry. for me, i felt that if they really want to punish, do smth more constructive to the sch.. eg, clean the whole sch, clean toilets and chairs/ tables / classrooms since our sch is like sooo dirty liao. rather than in the sun. i was very veyr angry. so i shouted at some of the exco.. in a mean/harsh tone lar. cannot tahan anymore. i was telling myself no no no.. controll.. control.. (coz of last time that thing).. then cannot.. so i juz shouted .. i think at melissa and amande. then i walked to the court yard.. and shouted at duno who. was mad lar basically. duno wad i was saying. saying everything from inside.
1stly, heart v pain to see ppl suffer. then also i see someone 'gloating'. to me lar.. 2ndly, its really ridiculour and heartless, upon the fact that MANY ppl were sick and ill, and v busy coz of prefects' marching and all..its really no point lar..
then cannot tahan. then cry. haha. its ridiculous of me to do so lar. okko,. i explain later..
then later.. buay tahan. then juz left wif sam and shu for bowling. haha. trishsala mama saw us at the road so fetch us there. was v thankful. ok.. that's about it so far. the rest.. i not sure and no 1st hand sources to blog. i think read yuan's and gel's blog? yea. ok.
after that.. bowling. ahha. supposedly to ask them check their details.. but i forgotten. then also, made many in-organised annoucements and all. so yar. trng. mixed wif them. missed the times we bowled seperately as the team. it was more fun lar. then trng.. ahha. i like my release towards the end.. my speed improved.. miraculously.. . i didn't bowl since 9 of june.. then now can bowl better.. ahha. very happy lar. then yar lor. that's about it. i juz love bowling.
basically, commenting on my personal self, i wanna declare that this blog is strictly for me to complain/ vent and everything. i do not wish to see pl using my statement mentioned here to discriminate oor use in vain lar. bascially, this is a place where i say everything. i say thorugh words lar. okok. i realised smth about me. ever since dad pass away, i become more sensitive and expressive. i'm no longer the strong girl i used to be. okok. yes, wif all the capt and prefect stuff.... i seems to. i still and handle practiacal and basic physical stuff. but. i can't handly myself emmotionally. i canot control myself. i have to be myself. if someone is damn higher then me who is really and rightfully in the wrong or irresponsible, i cannot control but to vent at you. hah. yes. today i almost wanted to shout and be violent infront of aini. thank God there's isabelle, yt, you-mei n my 3 gd friends to hold me back. haha. emmmotionaly eh?. marian is really argh. hah. okok. wadeva. see. i'm so sensitive wif teachers and ppl who doesn't associate wif me. i'm juz so intruding to the society, i 'm juz to concern for the welfare for ppl. argh.
okok. anyways.. regarding the prefects thing... i will forget evything one . i'm sorry to the exco for being once again irrespectful and all. yes, i do understand that i still have to respect u guys even if u all are -wrong-. anyways. yea. i'm also the person who forgets a sad-today and hopes for tml.
wadeva. anyways. i gtg makan now. gtg. thanks to friends and ppl who call me and msg me. a simple msg really cheered me up. ahha. juz like "boo..", wahhaa. serious man. today gary siaow ar. haha. "boo.".. aha, okok,.. nvm. then yar lor.. free incoming,... anything, call me.. try not to msg yar.. free incoming!. wha./nvm
Wednesday, July 21, 2004
haiz. so stressed today in sch. suddenly all the hw all throw infront of me.so much things to do. got meetings, after meetings.
today.. went to acsbr for meeting for the league wif sam. aha. zen suppose to go. aha then i wanted. hmm. ahaa. then saw my elder "brother". haha. he was the orgainser for the NAG.. then aiya... old man.haha. cannot rmbr his name. haha. yar. then the man tok all crap and soo long.. aha. explain like mr pang like that.. go round the bush. then this victors guy. forgot his name again.. was there and alot of familiar faces in the alley.yar lor. that's about it.
as for sch today.. vomit in the morning.. then stomach pain today. haiz. mama forgot to give me medicine. ahaa. and guess wad.. no more medicine!> hahha. hmms. die lar.no money to go back buy medicine. living on glucose... haha.
ok. this sat is speech and prize giving day.. so i dun htink i'll be bowling?. yup. then aiya.. have to plan tomorrow. very vyer stressed now. oko. shan't waste time any longer. byes
today.. went to acsbr for meeting for the league wif sam. aha. zen suppose to go. aha then i wanted. hmm. ahaa. then saw my elder "brother". haha. he was the orgainser for the NAG.. then aiya... old man.haha. cannot rmbr his name. haha. yar. then the man tok all crap and soo long.. aha. explain like mr pang like that.. go round the bush. then this victors guy. forgot his name again.. was there and alot of familiar faces in the alley.yar lor. that's about it.
as for sch today.. vomit in the morning.. then stomach pain today. haiz. mama forgot to give me medicine. ahaa. and guess wad.. no more medicine!> hahha. hmms. die lar.no money to go back buy medicine. living on glucose... haha.
ok. this sat is speech and prize giving day.. so i dun htink i'll be bowling?. yup. then aiya.. have to plan tomorrow. very vyer stressed now. oko. shan't waste time any longer. byes
Tuesday, July 20, 2004
argh. this is absolutely insane. i nv go sch ytd and today!!. mad mad. argh. and the today got trng, mama strongly forbits me to attend my FIRST trng.feeling so deprived. hmm. the last time i took mc to dun go sch is lik ein sec 1.. when i was sitting wif geraldyne and mel. had high fever. 1 day. tt's it. now its like 2!!. okok
sunday when church..then came back.. ate a piece of over-3-days-in-the-fridge cake. so yar.. then around 3.. i went to sleep. coz i felt really uncomfortable..then woke up.. 7pm!!!. then attepmted to do social studies hw.. then duno how to do. so do e maths. so at around 1015.. i felt really uneasy.. then vomitted. but then to me vomit is an ok ok thing.. so yar.. then around 11.. stomach pain.. then not able to do maths.. cannot even sleep. then felt very feverish. haha. i knew smth was wrong.went to the hall to slp.. as in.. attempted to slp.. then mama was watching tv.. then i told her.. she say coz i eat wrong food?.. then later aroound 1130.. the pain seems to be churning up all my stomach wall.. ahha. then mama say.. wanna go hospital? then i dun want. coz firstly, no energy to, 2ndly, no time and dun want waste money. then at 1155 like that.. pain soo horribliy.. till mama gave me no choice but took taxi to go east shore hospital. took the lift... dad blessed us by providing a taxi almost immediately when i reached ground floor. reached there.. vommitted outside the drain there. then waited for my turn. in pain. have fever. then the doc said it was stomach flu.. mama told him i had fever. and then he say i got gastric flu. then i told him i think its my large intestine that have bacteria.. he said mayb but stick to the fact that i had gastric flu.. then took a cab back. went home, eat medicine. in total for that night. vomitted like more than 10 times.. diahorrea for 4 times b4 medication. after medicaition, vomitted and shit even more. then sunday nite which is mon morning, throughout was running to the toilet either to shit or puke. hah. totally suck lor. then morning... was defintely better. mum cooked mee-sua.. but then ate 4 mouths.. then vomitted.. then afternoon,. slp and slp and slp. stupid medicine. then later.. i wanted to go sch.. coz had the cip thing. and i was doing 2 items.. in the end. slp. hah. then att around 5-6.. geraldyne, sara and yuan ting came to visit me. was really touched. aha. then they told me how the teachers "behaved" in schhol today. aaha. mr pang, mr lee and mrs lim. aha.all so funny. i felt ok that that time. haha. really. after they left.. i slept.. till 8. then got dental appointment at 830.. then mama asked sis to accompany me.. sis keeps naggin at me to walkk faster.. then i'm like cannot make it liao. coz was walking,.. then ver yver dizzy.. everything was like flashing in brown and black.. cannot reallys ee where i was gg. then finally, reached dentist. then after that... dentist say ok.. then i went home. kao. could have died lor. vomitted outside the lift.. and struggled home. threw myself into the hall sofa. haha. then slpt. mama cooked porriage and added soya sauce. afte 1/2 a bowl and wanted to vomit. then ate medicine and went to slp.. around 1am.. when to my room to slp.
then this morning.. woke up at 530, to pack my bag and go to school.. hah. tot i coule make it.. after bathing, i put on my uniform. the white one and was wearing my tie. then halfway. like sudddenly, legs felt weak and cannoot walk. so i sat for awile.. then told mama that i cannot go to sch. she so happy lor. then i rested. hah. and here i am now.
h,mm.. later if i'm better, i might got for tuition. but then. stil cannot go bowling. haiz. really hungry now, need food. argh. thanks to all my friends who msged me. =)
sunday when church..then came back.. ate a piece of over-3-days-in-the-fridge cake. so yar.. then around 3.. i went to sleep. coz i felt really uncomfortable..then woke up.. 7pm!!!. then attepmted to do social studies hw.. then duno how to do. so do e maths. so at around 1015.. i felt really uneasy.. then vomitted. but then to me vomit is an ok ok thing.. so yar.. then around 11.. stomach pain.. then not able to do maths.. cannot even sleep. then felt very feverish. haha. i knew smth was wrong.went to the hall to slp.. as in.. attempted to slp.. then mama was watching tv.. then i told her.. she say coz i eat wrong food?.. then later aroound 1130.. the pain seems to be churning up all my stomach wall.. ahha. then mama say.. wanna go hospital? then i dun want. coz firstly, no energy to, 2ndly, no time and dun want waste money. then at 1155 like that.. pain soo horribliy.. till mama gave me no choice but took taxi to go east shore hospital. took the lift... dad blessed us by providing a taxi almost immediately when i reached ground floor. reached there.. vommitted outside the drain there. then waited for my turn. in pain. have fever. then the doc said it was stomach flu.. mama told him i had fever. and then he say i got gastric flu. then i told him i think its my large intestine that have bacteria.. he said mayb but stick to the fact that i had gastric flu.. then took a cab back. went home, eat medicine. in total for that night. vomitted like more than 10 times.. diahorrea for 4 times b4 medication. after medicaition, vomitted and shit even more. then sunday nite which is mon morning, throughout was running to the toilet either to shit or puke. hah. totally suck lor. then morning... was defintely better. mum cooked mee-sua.. but then ate 4 mouths.. then vomitted.. then afternoon,. slp and slp and slp. stupid medicine. then later.. i wanted to go sch.. coz had the cip thing. and i was doing 2 items.. in the end. slp. hah. then att around 5-6.. geraldyne, sara and yuan ting came to visit me. was really touched. aha. then they told me how the teachers "behaved" in schhol today. aaha. mr pang, mr lee and mrs lim. aha.all so funny. i felt ok that that time. haha. really. after they left.. i slept.. till 8. then got dental appointment at 830.. then mama asked sis to accompany me.. sis keeps naggin at me to walkk faster.. then i'm like cannot make it liao. coz was walking,.. then ver yver dizzy.. everything was like flashing in brown and black.. cannot reallys ee where i was gg. then finally, reached dentist. then after that... dentist say ok.. then i went home. kao. could have died lor. vomitted outside the lift.. and struggled home. threw myself into the hall sofa. haha. then slpt. mama cooked porriage and added soya sauce. afte 1/2 a bowl and wanted to vomit. then ate medicine and went to slp.. around 1am.. when to my room to slp.
then this morning.. woke up at 530, to pack my bag and go to school.. hah. tot i coule make it.. after bathing, i put on my uniform. the white one and was wearing my tie. then halfway. like sudddenly, legs felt weak and cannoot walk. so i sat for awile.. then told mama that i cannot go to sch. she so happy lor. then i rested. hah. and here i am now.
h,mm.. later if i'm better, i might got for tuition. but then. stil cannot go bowling. haiz. really hungry now, need food. argh. thanks to all my friends who msged me. =)
Saturday, July 17, 2004
realised smth. mama is nice outside of home. v naggy at home. i love to go OUT wif her. no stay inside. haiz.
anyways. after seeing kim and nigel learning bass n jasper.. felt soo jealous.ahhaa. coz i really wanna learn. then also, zhen qin is teaching debbie and laura guitar.. so jealous!.. ahha. coz i really wanna learn how to strum properly. hah
i wanna serve God through music. wanna join the worship team. *hopes to do it by this yr. hmm. so much goals to hit.. bowling and now, church. serious. not only i wanna learn bass, but dying for electric also. cannot afford any classes. haiz. aha. hopefully, this classical guitar can be a 3 in 1 thing 4 me. ok
i damn scared. aha. coz today during capt's bball, by lower back ache like mad..at the lumbar spin there. okok. i think it's caused by the bend??. BUT BUT BUT. smth ever scarier hit my mind. coz u see ar. ppl in my class. like mel, gel, sara, nat.. and all these ppl. knows tt i pee v easily. juz alone this month, i pee-edin my white u, my pinafore 3-4 times??.. coz of excessive laughing.. how!?. and then.. when i wanna p.. i have to go immediately,, cannot wait. hoho. this seriously suck. i'm v scared lar. later got some disease or some sort. thinking about it. if i have an illness. that'll be gd. coz i have more private time to spend wif God, on the other hand, i hate ppl to pity me.. so ya. another bad point is that i will not be able to bowl!. aha. i'll juz die in the hospital bed. haha.
okok. guess wad.. hew keeps piling.. i clear one pile, another one pops right infront of me.. when wil i ever get to finish my physics!!> esp. my lit. hopefully, mrs lim will be kind and understanding enough. hah. okok.
i'm gonna prac. guitar now.. mon got performance,. ahah
anyways. after seeing kim and nigel learning bass n jasper.. felt soo jealous.ahhaa. coz i really wanna learn. then also, zhen qin is teaching debbie and laura guitar.. so jealous!.. ahha. coz i really wanna learn how to strum properly. hah
i wanna serve God through music. wanna join the worship team. *hopes to do it by this yr. hmm. so much goals to hit.. bowling and now, church. serious. not only i wanna learn bass, but dying for electric also. cannot afford any classes. haiz. aha. hopefully, this classical guitar can be a 3 in 1 thing 4 me. ok
i damn scared. aha. coz today during capt's bball, by lower back ache like mad..at the lumbar spin there. okok. i think it's caused by the bend??. BUT BUT BUT. smth ever scarier hit my mind. coz u see ar. ppl in my class. like mel, gel, sara, nat.. and all these ppl. knows tt i pee v easily. juz alone this month, i pee-edin my white u, my pinafore 3-4 times??.. coz of excessive laughing.. how!?. and then.. when i wanna p.. i have to go immediately,, cannot wait. hoho. this seriously suck. i'm v scared lar. later got some disease or some sort. thinking about it. if i have an illness. that'll be gd. coz i have more private time to spend wif God, on the other hand, i hate ppl to pity me.. so ya. another bad point is that i will not be able to bowl!. aha. i'll juz die in the hospital bed. haha.
okok. guess wad.. hew keeps piling.. i clear one pile, another one pops right infront of me.. when wil i ever get to finish my physics!!> esp. my lit. hopefully, mrs lim will be kind and understanding enough. hah. okok.
i'm gonna prac. guitar now.. mon got performance,. ahah
Friday, July 16, 2004
very tired. ok. blooger has change the posts thing again. haha. salute to the person making this sia.
ARGTHHGHHGHGHG. IA HFUSIOHNVREIPUCHNAOPMR SUIDF. WAD lar. pok k.mama always nags at me!. only me. she thinks sis is 4ever correct. ask sis help me burn my tap music also make sooo much noise. coz my com cannot burn. ask her burn smth everytime dunwan. never one time lor. then mama always say i lzay, dun do. HELLO. my com cannot burn. get this right ya. argh.
she just started nagging. in my room. so was kinda angry. ahah. lucky got this blog to vent my anger on. ok. now i'm alright. haha. high BP. hah. ]
okok. skip all this crap.
today had bio and chinese. was terrible. [mama is nagging. argh.] okok. then after sch...
wah lau. dun feel like blogging now lar. argh. smths. really dun wanna stay in this world lar. i wanna go be wif dad. peace man. coz mama knows dad dislikes nagging. so she seldom nag... now.. hoho. argh. and its like.. sis and mum one clan, i another .really cannot tolerate. everyday, gg to sch really makes me happy. or when i'm sick. this is when i dun hear her nag so much. although she still nags. [she still nagging... ].. hear this....damn interesting:: (wahha. trying to type wad she say)
"everything u give me black face. tok to ur friends only. u dun care about us. u nv ask u sis properly. y u dun want to burn urself? she v busy already. always trouble melissa. u dun treat this family well. dun like u go outside stay lar. dady not here u become more naughty. u only care for ur friends and dun care about us. u only want money from me. want to buy thing u give me sweet smile. after buying, u show me this kind of attitude. BLAH BLAH BLAH"...
and it goes on and on and on.. repeating every point. then later.. as she tok,.. or rather, nag.. she gets angry by herself.. usually this' the case. then i'll be in my room. then she'll come to the room and start to shout and now scold. then she'll start to slap... last time was cane.. now not so bad. haiz.
who's mother doesn't?. yes, i understand this point. BUT. its the frequent occurency that bothers me. when in march or issit june. i rmbred v clearly that every single day i get cannign from mama. then occasionally, dad will help mum. haiz.
i simply dun understand. i'm facing soo much conflicts in sch. fighting hard to put on a mask. and now, at home, i still get beaten down. why?. so wad,.. u want ur daughter to go around sulking, explaining that she's very poor thing and indulge herself in self-pity. do u want that?. here i am, fighting so hard wif myself. wif my innner self. my heart aches. it pains. it kills. both physically and emmotionally. i cannot take this anymore. argh. crying and shouting into my pillow helps. but wad 4. u'll hear it. and u'd say that i cry bcoz i know my damn mistake.
forget it lars marian. juz heck. be urself. be selfish and self centered. dun care about others. it doesn't help. it makes things worse for u. juz study hard and be a doc and save lives. thats it. that's final.
i really hate all this. *sorry God.
ARGTHHGHHGHGHG. IA HFUSIOHNVREIPUCHNAOPMR SUIDF. WAD lar. pok k.mama always nags at me!. only me. she thinks sis is 4ever correct. ask sis help me burn my tap music also make sooo much noise. coz my com cannot burn. ask her burn smth everytime dunwan. never one time lor. then mama always say i lzay, dun do. HELLO. my com cannot burn. get this right ya. argh.
she just started nagging. in my room. so was kinda angry. ahah. lucky got this blog to vent my anger on. ok. now i'm alright. haha. high BP. hah. ]
okok. skip all this crap.
today had bio and chinese. was terrible. [mama is nagging. argh.] okok. then after sch...
wah lau. dun feel like blogging now lar. argh. smths. really dun wanna stay in this world lar. i wanna go be wif dad. peace man. coz mama knows dad dislikes nagging. so she seldom nag... now.. hoho. argh. and its like.. sis and mum one clan, i another .really cannot tolerate. everyday, gg to sch really makes me happy. or when i'm sick. this is when i dun hear her nag so much. although she still nags. [she still nagging... ].. hear this....damn interesting:: (wahha. trying to type wad she say)
"everything u give me black face. tok to ur friends only. u dun care about us. u nv ask u sis properly. y u dun want to burn urself? she v busy already. always trouble melissa. u dun treat this family well. dun like u go outside stay lar. dady not here u become more naughty. u only care for ur friends and dun care about us. u only want money from me. want to buy thing u give me sweet smile. after buying, u show me this kind of attitude. BLAH BLAH BLAH"...
and it goes on and on and on.. repeating every point. then later.. as she tok,.. or rather, nag.. she gets angry by herself.. usually this' the case. then i'll be in my room. then she'll come to the room and start to shout and now scold. then she'll start to slap... last time was cane.. now not so bad. haiz.
who's mother doesn't?. yes, i understand this point. BUT. its the frequent occurency that bothers me. when in march or issit june. i rmbred v clearly that every single day i get cannign from mama. then occasionally, dad will help mum. haiz.
i simply dun understand. i'm facing soo much conflicts in sch. fighting hard to put on a mask. and now, at home, i still get beaten down. why?. so wad,.. u want ur daughter to go around sulking, explaining that she's very poor thing and indulge herself in self-pity. do u want that?. here i am, fighting so hard wif myself. wif my innner self. my heart aches. it pains. it kills. both physically and emmotionally. i cannot take this anymore. argh. crying and shouting into my pillow helps. but wad 4. u'll hear it. and u'd say that i cry bcoz i know my damn mistake.
forget it lars marian. juz heck. be urself. be selfish and self centered. dun care about others. it doesn't help. it makes things worse for u. juz study hard and be a doc and save lives. thats it. that's final.
i really hate all this. *sorry God.
Thursday, July 15, 2004
today many things happen. first,.. the rain. was walking to interchange when i saw lightning.. not the usual lightning leh.. this time is like massive...then later.. reached sch bus stop, rain abit.. ahha, ran in coz i scared my lit project wet.. so was protecting it. assembly started late... coz 20% of kc girls were wet. and i mean really dripping wet.. there pinafore was dripping water.. the rest was juz wet. ahha. so many ppl was in there cca shirt/ pe shirt and everything. mrs sng is wise. she is gd. she makes good decisions and necessay changes.. really happy to have such a dm. serious.. then whole day.. got ppl in sch walking bare footed, own shirt wif pinafor, or blouse wif shirt. ahah.
ok. then let's skip all the lessons ans stuff.. LITERTURE. argh. i really really really canot canot canot make tt ms devi happy lors. ok.. first. we had to show her wad we've done so far. then i showed her. i put in alot of effort. ppl said was nice. it looks as if it was printed and all. they all say it is nice. thats it. and then.. i showed her lar.. "u thinnk this is gd?. it is too small. wad i want u to do is enlarge it. ".. hoho.. i drew like 10 shakespearn charcters from twelfth night, cuting them up and paste onto hard big cardboard.. and now she say redo. haha. basket. was so mad. so i was in deep thought.. [ friends, u know me. when i think, i frown.].. so yar. i stone and looked and my project.. then she come to me. and somehow whispered to my ear. "prefct, i dun like ur attitude. i usually put these girls outside my class. i can always put u, as a prefect outside my class if u have such attitude.".. goash k.. my heart was like.. wad did i do.. basket.. first it was exco.. now its ms devi. yes, for the exco, i admit i showed attitude.. but for ms devi..... I DID NOT... pppl canot frown and think meh.. goash k. iw as soooo affected by her statement.. then she took my project, and went round showing the class.. " is this big enough?".. some irritating ppl say no. many said it was ok. basket. and those that say no was practically raising their woice when they said no. so it seemed like majority of the ppl think it is small. yes, i admit it is small. but its clearly visible. be contented lar k. i just have to enlarge the pics. NOT THE DAMN PICS. argh. i was so mad. then later, she dumped my project infront of me.. "redo". my heart damn pain lor. really physically pain. louiza comforted me alittle. she's really a nice girl. yup. then ok. went for reecess.. wif "i do not like ur attitude" stuck in my head. nat lee wasn't in sch. so nat. tan replaced her for recess patrolling. so i did my duty. and wasn't focus. was complainng to nat. then later.. i duno wad got over me. then after finished checking all classrooms, windows and doors, i juz left. like that. leaving nat to wait alone till the recess ended. so was like thinking.. here i am, trying v hard. and here u are. complaining. i mean its like. i dun think exco find me probmatic rights?..so on the way up to class.. i saw aini. so i told her about the replacement.. then i was feeling really bad and moody. so i give her attitude probs. aha. then yar.i think got misunderstanding.. yuan ting and you-mei was there.. hopefully can help me explain to aini. anyways. yuan ting was concern for me.. and all friends lar.. but like cannot tahan.. so go class rm and cry. ahha. pathetic. and then nxt was mrs. lims' lesson. i love her lesson lor. she calls me everytime. today.. aha. was trying to foreshaodow which q she gg to ask me.. haha. the i was right!.. BUT.. she ask me q.. i wanna tok. she ans herself. basket.. so obviousis shoot at me one lor. if ask steph or shu. she'll let them speak. argh. so far in 3 terms. mrs lim did not call me in class fot 2 ddays. 1st was during cme.. 2nd was last wk during one of the physics lesson. haiz.
so anyways. was v v affected my ms devi.
ok. then was bowling. last day. team 1 was very inspiring at the 10th frame.. the last game. aha. got strike or hit pin 10. all hug each other. ahah. looks very touching. aha. okok. then yar. today sort of lecture them.
guess how long me and sam lecture them. ahha.. 2.5h. haha.3-4 girls left coz of parents. haha. i didn't know i had the ability to speak this long lor. ahaha. was practically scolding them, nagging at them.. basically its coz of their attitude, mental and discipline.haha. then yar.. learn alot through scolding them. said things which i didn't expect to say. btu i really do hope that we will bond and they will listen and be discipline. . ahha. yep. they sort of encouraged me and sam indirectly, ahha.. they made me feel as if i'm a really gd captain. ahha. was shock lar basically from wad i learn and how they feel. yar lors.
that's about it. i dun think kc won. but think 1st is sports sch, then mgs, then ijtp, then rgs?.. aha. not sure. then tkgs, scgs, then kc?. hah.
ok. my goal for this yr is to get 190 avg, then join victors' bowler of the month.then winn. then later get abit of recognition. then play in nats. and win sports sch. then attempt to go in combine schs. haha. high goal eh?. yar. wanna do smth prub for kc b4 i leave.
ok. that's about it. tml there;s ting xie and bio test. hah. i wanna pass, ahaha. ok lar.. erm. get 75%? aha.
ok. then let's skip all the lessons ans stuff.. LITERTURE. argh. i really really really canot canot canot make tt ms devi happy lors. ok.. first. we had to show her wad we've done so far. then i showed her. i put in alot of effort. ppl said was nice. it looks as if it was printed and all. they all say it is nice. thats it. and then.. i showed her lar.. "u thinnk this is gd?. it is too small. wad i want u to do is enlarge it. ".. hoho.. i drew like 10 shakespearn charcters from twelfth night, cuting them up and paste onto hard big cardboard.. and now she say redo. haha. basket. was so mad. so i was in deep thought.. [ friends, u know me. when i think, i frown.].. so yar. i stone and looked and my project.. then she come to me. and somehow whispered to my ear. "prefct, i dun like ur attitude. i usually put these girls outside my class. i can always put u, as a prefect outside my class if u have such attitude.".. goash k.. my heart was like.. wad did i do.. basket.. first it was exco.. now its ms devi. yes, for the exco, i admit i showed attitude.. but for ms devi..... I DID NOT... pppl canot frown and think meh.. goash k. iw as soooo affected by her statement.. then she took my project, and went round showing the class.. " is this big enough?".. some irritating ppl say no. many said it was ok. basket. and those that say no was practically raising their woice when they said no. so it seemed like majority of the ppl think it is small. yes, i admit it is small. but its clearly visible. be contented lar k. i just have to enlarge the pics. NOT THE DAMN PICS. argh. i was so mad. then later, she dumped my project infront of me.. "redo". my heart damn pain lor. really physically pain. louiza comforted me alittle. she's really a nice girl. yup. then ok. went for reecess.. wif "i do not like ur attitude" stuck in my head. nat lee wasn't in sch. so nat. tan replaced her for recess patrolling. so i did my duty. and wasn't focus. was complainng to nat. then later.. i duno wad got over me. then after finished checking all classrooms, windows and doors, i juz left. like that. leaving nat to wait alone till the recess ended. so was like thinking.. here i am, trying v hard. and here u are. complaining. i mean its like. i dun think exco find me probmatic rights?..so on the way up to class.. i saw aini. so i told her about the replacement.. then i was feeling really bad and moody. so i give her attitude probs. aha. then yar.i think got misunderstanding.. yuan ting and you-mei was there.. hopefully can help me explain to aini. anyways. yuan ting was concern for me.. and all friends lar.. but like cannot tahan.. so go class rm and cry. ahha. pathetic. and then nxt was mrs. lims' lesson. i love her lesson lor. she calls me everytime. today.. aha. was trying to foreshaodow which q she gg to ask me.. haha. the i was right!.. BUT.. she ask me q.. i wanna tok. she ans herself. basket.. so obviousis shoot at me one lor. if ask steph or shu. she'll let them speak. argh. so far in 3 terms. mrs lim did not call me in class fot 2 ddays. 1st was during cme.. 2nd was last wk during one of the physics lesson. haiz.
so anyways. was v v affected my ms devi.
ok. then was bowling. last day. team 1 was very inspiring at the 10th frame.. the last game. aha. got strike or hit pin 10. all hug each other. ahah. looks very touching. aha. okok. then yar. today sort of lecture them.
guess how long me and sam lecture them. ahha.. 2.5h. haha.3-4 girls left coz of parents. haha. i didn't know i had the ability to speak this long lor. ahaha. was practically scolding them, nagging at them.. basically its coz of their attitude, mental and discipline.haha. then yar.. learn alot through scolding them. said things which i didn't expect to say. btu i really do hope that we will bond and they will listen and be discipline. . ahha. yep. they sort of encouraged me and sam indirectly, ahha.. they made me feel as if i'm a really gd captain. ahha. was shock lar basically from wad i learn and how they feel. yar lors.
that's about it. i dun think kc won. but think 1st is sports sch, then mgs, then ijtp, then rgs?.. aha. not sure. then tkgs, scgs, then kc?. hah.
ok. my goal for this yr is to get 190 avg, then join victors' bowler of the month.then winn. then later get abit of recognition. then play in nats. and win sports sch. then attempt to go in combine schs. haha. high goal eh?. yar. wanna do smth prub for kc b4 i leave.
ok. that's about it. tml there;s ting xie and bio test. hah. i wanna pass, ahaha. ok lar.. erm. get 75%? aha.
Wednesday, July 14, 2004
all from sis' blog.. duno why i still keep thinkin of this man. this dad. this hero. kinda irritated wif myself.. its been like more than 6mths.. and like it seems that he is still here. argh. i've gotta focus. hmm. i'm not the kind of person who cannot get ouver things one.. and ermm. now its like that. contridicting. personal changes happen to me. friends, u are able to tell the diff in me right?. i become seemingly loud and more complaint-ful. ahha. somethingis still seriously missing. life is fragile. heard of now u see it, now u dun.. haa. ya. blech.
Transient Ischemic Attack (TIA)
Although the onset of a stroke is typically sudden and without warning, before having a full stroke, patients may have one or more transient ischemic attacks (TIAs). A TIA is caused by a temporary blockage of an artery in or leading to the brain, and is often labeled a mini-stroke, namely because it creates insufficient blood supply to the brain and has similar symptoms as a stroke. However, unlike stroke symptoms, TIA symptoms usually disappear within 10 to 30 minutes, although they may last up to 24 hours.
If you have a TIA, you need immediate medical attention. A TIA is a warning signal that a stroke may soon occur because roughly 11% of people with a TIA have a full ischemic stroke within 90 days, and 14% within one year.
...
Day 1[sat]
It hit him when he was resting in bed ... listenin to his favourite music.. Probably attempted to test his strength, but fell instead. He probably felt like shit at that point of time. Tried to help him up but fail. My eyes showed me signs of stroke; slurring, inability to move, .... 995. Hospital. A & E. Moved to ward on Sunday morning.
Day 2 [sun]
Despite the stroke that hit him, inability to move on the left, and probably low morale, he never fail to keep trying. He was strong, he kept wanting to get off the bed to the loo to ease, but of course he cant. He requested for prata, goreng pisang, curry puff.. he saw things we cant see, he could speak but was not clear at all. He kept moving whatever he could.. kicked, tugged, squeeze our hands... I thought he had hope. AND he wanted to go SGH instead!!
Then that night, complications happened. Doc suddenly realised he couldnt respond anymore.. He could hear us but his like in a deep sleep. Could move his toungue a little. That's all. Hand squeezings became rare.
Day 3[mon]
His best friend came.. saw him in such a state, couldnt take it. Soon after, doc said he had become critical. His left brain started to swell....... so much that it was pushin it thru to the right side, which could affect the reservior.
Doc said we had 3 options for him now.
First, leave him to help himself on his own. 2nd, ICU rely on machines. 3rd, Skull removal op to release pressure
After thinkin like hell, consulted alot of ppl.. we decided on going for the op. It was a gamble. Sorry Dad, was tryin to help u only. After deep concentration and decisions, we decided to go for the op. 40 % was a failure rate. Though he hated operations and surgery, we had to help him no matter what.
I thought he will not make it. Thought he will die of a heart attack on the table. Kinda saw a dragonfly in SICU. He was strong though. He pulled thru the op.
Day 4 [tue]
Got into ICU. Hurts to see soooo many machines around him, big and small tubes all over his arms and nose and his 3/4 opened mouth. He was then brain dead and fully vegetable. Medically, he is dead, but i still believed he could hear and understand us coz i talked so much... and each time i mention his favourite toolbox, his heartrate will rise instantly. I told him about sch, work, who came, how he made me got to know his collegues... and also some last words. He sorta teared... i cant believe it..
Soon after, his swell took advantage of the op. It continued to used the space given and kept swellin till it was like squeezing the right side, affecthin and pushing the 'reservoir'. Doc says he's not respondin to all the medicine he was given, instead he was declining. His BP was erratic; goes real high 1 min, then goes soo low. Like watching share prices..thats what i told him. heehee. His bloodpressure was not stable too. He kept slipping and slipping ... he tried hard to mantain his condition...very hard. He did well that day but just mantaining, so we decided to go home to rest.
Soon after i showered and chilled around, he decided to play a prank on us by calling us back urgently. Yea, he slipped further. i was devasted.
However after that, we stayed on.. during all these time, his condition never inproved nor deproved.
Day 5 [Wed]
Spent lots of time in MICU with him, talkin to him.. waiting for him to improve.. but nah.. His condition has remained the same throughout the entire day. I though he was going to pick things up. His eye started to swell due to the fall he had. It was physically visable. The bruised grew gradually throughout the day. However the doc said it will go down...
We even celebrated Jojo's bday at the waiting lounge!! My God. I feel so wrong. CK was around, she cheered me up alot.. she brought nice tao huay for me.. and made me laugh so much. My laughing gas picked up from there. Hmm.
At night we stayed.. in our hearts we knew he's leaving us soon.. mom spoke so much to him, tellin him to go in peace. He teared again.. she cried so much.. i cried abit to see my always-happy father being in such a sorry state. He didnt deserve this shit!!
Thurs mornin[early of Day 6]
Was damn shacked.. ah jun was around with us. ah hee and ah seng went back coz they needed the rest. They left at 4+ while ah jun stayed with dad and us all thru the night. Yah those were my cousins not some mafia. They were so filial to my dad. Mom left for home at 3+ to get rest. But Marian and i stayed. Then his condition worsened again. This time his blood pressure was way too low, heart beat was going too fast. He was under heavy medication and at the same time running a fever of 40 degrees celcius. Doc told us to gather everyone and be prepared for the worst. I was so devasted. Called Margie(our guardian angel) to drive down again to get mom here ASAP. When they all came, mom was in tears. So were my sis and I. We spoke and joked abit with him.. but we got so tired we went out to sleep awhile. Ah jun was there, keeping dad company. I didnt see it, but he saw dad's blood pressure going down to 14 (normal person is about 80 i think) heartbeat going up to 200+?? And at 05:54am he was pronounced dead.
It was then, the world is less 1 perfect Dad/Wife.
I messaged a lot of ppl outside helplessly... not even thinking who it was.. Phonebill this month for 3 of us is gonna be sky high!! probably chalk up to $300 per person????
Anyway, i wanna thank all my cousins and relatives for helpin us thru this crisis... for standing by our family and comforting us and providing all the help they could. Deeply and eternally grateful. And to my Dad's friends who were so helpful at the end of his life... the docs and nurses...
No thanks to the SGH heart surgeon. Tried to contact him on the day we had to make our decision on whether to proceed with the op. Left my contacts and he only called me 2 days after the op. How nice. Hope he doesnt make any money in his doctor career this year!!
...
daddy
just rest in peace and please be with us at all time coz we miss u like hell..
U have seen how many ppl attended yer funeral during the past few days.. u had so many friends!
They all liked u alot, coz u're their favourite collegue, u horse around with them.. even took some mms..
Rafi and your supervisor and that ang moh stood out and said so many great things about you at work...
Andrew helped u to inform all yer collegues about your leave. He's your best friend right...
He's gonna help u to get back all your tools home with us, so no one will touch them okie.
All your 'C' shift friends contributed alot financially too. They even marked their attendance in your guestbook. Marian also made an effort to make them sign it for you.. as u'd wish.
Oh ya, your HP is still with me, i'll keep it for u in case yer friends call. U've always like the bird as wallpaper, that silly ringtone and msg alert tone.. i'll keep it as it is.
Look, all our relatives from all everywhere attended. Who said no one will come? It's so happening! Those ppl from Rosyth even horsed around yer coffin for 4Ds.. If u were around, im sure u'll not mind right!! Nikita is a big girl now, she even spoke to you. She's 5 yrs old, so that's why she's curious. U'll love this wonderful kid!
The amount of marian's friends who came by on the first day did made u proud right.. Yah they took up half the room lor.. but they were good quality friends. So u've seen them...
My wonderful friends came too.. They came to pay u respects. Heehee sorry i dun normally bring them home.. too many guys.. wait u anyhow think again.. hehe U've seen my sec sch mates, my NAFA mates, my collegues and R, whom u kinda like so much.. He was the one who bought u currypuff and goreng pisang right! Hope u like it ya.. He's a good boy.. so pls bless him with happiness. U have seen who was who.. so.. i hope u know what my life is about!! If i do anything naughty, please guide me...
Thanks for spoilin the freakin aircon today. We needed it coz it was too cold for us!! Everything was fine throughout.. 'cept that now there are too many paper work to do. You have to help mom and i and margie with all of it okie. Be it insurance or bank or HDB or whatever..... u were always the one who did all these things.. Im so blur man!! U really gota help us in this.
Our home and house have always been mantained by you. Today it's in top condition. As time go by, im sure somethings will get fused or fall apart or whatever. Though you will not be around to fix it, i hope u'll guide us as we try to fix those stuff ourselves..
Your favourite red toolbox will not be sold not given away nor disposed. It will be kept there in memory of you. As for those headphones u've been working on, We'll just leave it there as it is. U may feel free to come back to look at it or play with it. In fact ALL your belongins.. from clothes to mugs to anything else.. will be around. So i hope u'll be able to recognise home when u feel like coming back.
Mummy has been missing you hard.. she cried so hard for you.. she definitely is lonely now. Pls make her strong again, let her feel your presence again so she'll feel better perhaps.. She's your best friend, your soulmate, your GF, your wife. Do watch out for her like she always did for you. The bed will be a reminder of the wonderful life she had with you. Im sure u had a great life this time with her, with us... Do not forget us, coz we'll never forget you.. Though Marian and i dun often show at all how we love u, we really do.
Thanks for setting up the new hifi set for me. I also never knew u're so proud of marian and i. U never told us too huh!! Only found out from some friends and relatives about how u've been speaking about me in front of them. Heehee. Thanks for being proud and supportive of the course im taking although u may have no idea what VC @ NAFA is.
Thanks for always helping me with my PC whenever it crashes or anything went wrong with it. U always knew how the computer is important to me coz i had to work on it.
You're a great dad, better than any dad in this universe. You are the most caring and loving wife to mom. She loves u dearly and u love her too.. I have always realised how lovey dovey both of u are. Unlike other parents who do whatever they wan on their own, u always wanted to do things together with mom. Like you bought the new spaghetti machine with her, u promised u'd play masak-masak one day.. making spaghetti out of dough. Sounds like fun. Im sure u were lookin forward to that too right..
Even at the wards and being half numb, u had the energy to joke around with the nurses... im sure they had a great time takin care of you. Your jovial character and mischieviousness was still shown even when u were unconscious!! U made us run up and down from home to hospital.. it was tiring, but hey, nothing is too tiring for you. We always wanted to be there for you, speak to you but of course we had to observe those dumb hospital rules.
During the last night, u even had brain activity when i mentioned yer favourite toolbox. I talked so much cock with you man! Hope that made u happy.. why did u weep.. is it coz u wanna tell us somethin? Anyway till the very end, u didnt want us to worry. U made us too tired to hang around your bed, so that we will go out and take a nap, while u slipped away just like that. I knew u didnt want us to see you go. You were just being too thoughtful. Even the date u picked was memorable. It will remind us of you on 20th May for your wedding anniversary, 20th Sept for marian's bday, and then again in Nov as your death anniversary. We'll remember you on my birthday coz we share the same month!!
You're a very organised man huh!!
Im damn sure u wont want mom to work, but i think she will. I hope u'll make her decide to go back to NTUC coz u got to know her from there many years ago right! She worked there before. Working will keep her mind off those sad things.. being at home alone without u hurts her so badly.. We miss u so much. Despite all these, i wont go out too often la. Will stay at home more often and keep her company. Do keep her strong in spirit and in health.
Please bless us. We need all your help and support too. On the other hand, go in peace. Hope you'll have a good time up there with God. Hopefully he provides u with a toolbox of tools and a computer and a handphone. If u do need a handphone, pls inform me. i'll burn 1 for you. Wont be afraid of getting weird SMSes but pls dun give me weird calls.. i love you but im too timid for all these..
I love you dad. I will miss u lots lots lots. i kissed u so many times in the hospital.. so did mom..Do come back, we'll be waitin for you. But please dun tease nor play any pranks.. i might die of fright....
Cya soon..
Transient Ischemic Attack (TIA)
Although the onset of a stroke is typically sudden and without warning, before having a full stroke, patients may have one or more transient ischemic attacks (TIAs). A TIA is caused by a temporary blockage of an artery in or leading to the brain, and is often labeled a mini-stroke, namely because it creates insufficient blood supply to the brain and has similar symptoms as a stroke. However, unlike stroke symptoms, TIA symptoms usually disappear within 10 to 30 minutes, although they may last up to 24 hours.
If you have a TIA, you need immediate medical attention. A TIA is a warning signal that a stroke may soon occur because roughly 11% of people with a TIA have a full ischemic stroke within 90 days, and 14% within one year.
...
Day 1[sat]
It hit him when he was resting in bed ... listenin to his favourite music.. Probably attempted to test his strength, but fell instead. He probably felt like shit at that point of time. Tried to help him up but fail. My eyes showed me signs of stroke; slurring, inability to move, .... 995. Hospital. A & E. Moved to ward on Sunday morning.
Day 2 [sun]
Despite the stroke that hit him, inability to move on the left, and probably low morale, he never fail to keep trying. He was strong, he kept wanting to get off the bed to the loo to ease, but of course he cant. He requested for prata, goreng pisang, curry puff.. he saw things we cant see, he could speak but was not clear at all. He kept moving whatever he could.. kicked, tugged, squeeze our hands... I thought he had hope. AND he wanted to go SGH instead!!
Then that night, complications happened. Doc suddenly realised he couldnt respond anymore.. He could hear us but his like in a deep sleep. Could move his toungue a little. That's all. Hand squeezings became rare.
Day 3[mon]
His best friend came.. saw him in such a state, couldnt take it. Soon after, doc said he had become critical. His left brain started to swell....... so much that it was pushin it thru to the right side, which could affect the reservior.
Doc said we had 3 options for him now.
First, leave him to help himself on his own. 2nd, ICU rely on machines. 3rd, Skull removal op to release pressure
After thinkin like hell, consulted alot of ppl.. we decided on going for the op. It was a gamble. Sorry Dad, was tryin to help u only. After deep concentration and decisions, we decided to go for the op. 40 % was a failure rate. Though he hated operations and surgery, we had to help him no matter what.
I thought he will not make it. Thought he will die of a heart attack on the table. Kinda saw a dragonfly in SICU. He was strong though. He pulled thru the op.
Day 4 [tue]
Got into ICU. Hurts to see soooo many machines around him, big and small tubes all over his arms and nose and his 3/4 opened mouth. He was then brain dead and fully vegetable. Medically, he is dead, but i still believed he could hear and understand us coz i talked so much... and each time i mention his favourite toolbox, his heartrate will rise instantly. I told him about sch, work, who came, how he made me got to know his collegues... and also some last words. He sorta teared... i cant believe it..
Soon after, his swell took advantage of the op. It continued to used the space given and kept swellin till it was like squeezing the right side, affecthin and pushing the 'reservoir'. Doc says he's not respondin to all the medicine he was given, instead he was declining. His BP was erratic; goes real high 1 min, then goes soo low. Like watching share prices..thats what i told him. heehee. His bloodpressure was not stable too. He kept slipping and slipping ... he tried hard to mantain his condition...very hard. He did well that day but just mantaining, so we decided to go home to rest.
Soon after i showered and chilled around, he decided to play a prank on us by calling us back urgently. Yea, he slipped further. i was devasted.
However after that, we stayed on.. during all these time, his condition never inproved nor deproved.
Day 5 [Wed]
Spent lots of time in MICU with him, talkin to him.. waiting for him to improve.. but nah.. His condition has remained the same throughout the entire day. I though he was going to pick things up. His eye started to swell due to the fall he had. It was physically visable. The bruised grew gradually throughout the day. However the doc said it will go down...
We even celebrated Jojo's bday at the waiting lounge!! My God. I feel so wrong. CK was around, she cheered me up alot.. she brought nice tao huay for me.. and made me laugh so much. My laughing gas picked up from there. Hmm.
At night we stayed.. in our hearts we knew he's leaving us soon.. mom spoke so much to him, tellin him to go in peace. He teared again.. she cried so much.. i cried abit to see my always-happy father being in such a sorry state. He didnt deserve this shit!!
Thurs mornin[early of Day 6]
Was damn shacked.. ah jun was around with us. ah hee and ah seng went back coz they needed the rest. They left at 4+ while ah jun stayed with dad and us all thru the night. Yah those were my cousins not some mafia. They were so filial to my dad. Mom left for home at 3+ to get rest. But Marian and i stayed. Then his condition worsened again. This time his blood pressure was way too low, heart beat was going too fast. He was under heavy medication and at the same time running a fever of 40 degrees celcius. Doc told us to gather everyone and be prepared for the worst. I was so devasted. Called Margie(our guardian angel) to drive down again to get mom here ASAP. When they all came, mom was in tears. So were my sis and I. We spoke and joked abit with him.. but we got so tired we went out to sleep awhile. Ah jun was there, keeping dad company. I didnt see it, but he saw dad's blood pressure going down to 14 (normal person is about 80 i think) heartbeat going up to 200+?? And at 05:54am he was pronounced dead.
It was then, the world is less 1 perfect Dad/Wife.
I messaged a lot of ppl outside helplessly... not even thinking who it was.. Phonebill this month for 3 of us is gonna be sky high!! probably chalk up to $300 per person????
Anyway, i wanna thank all my cousins and relatives for helpin us thru this crisis... for standing by our family and comforting us and providing all the help they could. Deeply and eternally grateful. And to my Dad's friends who were so helpful at the end of his life... the docs and nurses...
No thanks to the SGH heart surgeon. Tried to contact him on the day we had to make our decision on whether to proceed with the op. Left my contacts and he only called me 2 days after the op. How nice. Hope he doesnt make any money in his doctor career this year!!
...
daddy
just rest in peace and please be with us at all time coz we miss u like hell..
U have seen how many ppl attended yer funeral during the past few days.. u had so many friends!
They all liked u alot, coz u're their favourite collegue, u horse around with them.. even took some mms..
Rafi and your supervisor and that ang moh stood out and said so many great things about you at work...
Andrew helped u to inform all yer collegues about your leave. He's your best friend right...
He's gonna help u to get back all your tools home with us, so no one will touch them okie.
All your 'C' shift friends contributed alot financially too. They even marked their attendance in your guestbook. Marian also made an effort to make them sign it for you.. as u'd wish.
Oh ya, your HP is still with me, i'll keep it for u in case yer friends call. U've always like the bird as wallpaper, that silly ringtone and msg alert tone.. i'll keep it as it is.
Look, all our relatives from all everywhere attended. Who said no one will come? It's so happening! Those ppl from Rosyth even horsed around yer coffin for 4Ds.. If u were around, im sure u'll not mind right!! Nikita is a big girl now, she even spoke to you. She's 5 yrs old, so that's why she's curious. U'll love this wonderful kid!
The amount of marian's friends who came by on the first day did made u proud right.. Yah they took up half the room lor.. but they were good quality friends. So u've seen them...
My wonderful friends came too.. They came to pay u respects. Heehee sorry i dun normally bring them home.. too many guys.. wait u anyhow think again.. hehe U've seen my sec sch mates, my NAFA mates, my collegues and R, whom u kinda like so much.. He was the one who bought u currypuff and goreng pisang right! Hope u like it ya.. He's a good boy.. so pls bless him with happiness. U have seen who was who.. so.. i hope u know what my life is about!! If i do anything naughty, please guide me...
Thanks for spoilin the freakin aircon today. We needed it coz it was too cold for us!! Everything was fine throughout.. 'cept that now there are too many paper work to do. You have to help mom and i and margie with all of it okie. Be it insurance or bank or HDB or whatever..... u were always the one who did all these things.. Im so blur man!! U really gota help us in this.
Our home and house have always been mantained by you. Today it's in top condition. As time go by, im sure somethings will get fused or fall apart or whatever. Though you will not be around to fix it, i hope u'll guide us as we try to fix those stuff ourselves..
Your favourite red toolbox will not be sold not given away nor disposed. It will be kept there in memory of you. As for those headphones u've been working on, We'll just leave it there as it is. U may feel free to come back to look at it or play with it. In fact ALL your belongins.. from clothes to mugs to anything else.. will be around. So i hope u'll be able to recognise home when u feel like coming back.
Mummy has been missing you hard.. she cried so hard for you.. she definitely is lonely now. Pls make her strong again, let her feel your presence again so she'll feel better perhaps.. She's your best friend, your soulmate, your GF, your wife. Do watch out for her like she always did for you. The bed will be a reminder of the wonderful life she had with you. Im sure u had a great life this time with her, with us... Do not forget us, coz we'll never forget you.. Though Marian and i dun often show at all how we love u, we really do.
Thanks for setting up the new hifi set for me. I also never knew u're so proud of marian and i. U never told us too huh!! Only found out from some friends and relatives about how u've been speaking about me in front of them. Heehee. Thanks for being proud and supportive of the course im taking although u may have no idea what VC @ NAFA is.
Thanks for always helping me with my PC whenever it crashes or anything went wrong with it. U always knew how the computer is important to me coz i had to work on it.
You're a great dad, better than any dad in this universe. You are the most caring and loving wife to mom. She loves u dearly and u love her too.. I have always realised how lovey dovey both of u are. Unlike other parents who do whatever they wan on their own, u always wanted to do things together with mom. Like you bought the new spaghetti machine with her, u promised u'd play masak-masak one day.. making spaghetti out of dough. Sounds like fun. Im sure u were lookin forward to that too right..
Even at the wards and being half numb, u had the energy to joke around with the nurses... im sure they had a great time takin care of you. Your jovial character and mischieviousness was still shown even when u were unconscious!! U made us run up and down from home to hospital.. it was tiring, but hey, nothing is too tiring for you. We always wanted to be there for you, speak to you but of course we had to observe those dumb hospital rules.
During the last night, u even had brain activity when i mentioned yer favourite toolbox. I talked so much cock with you man! Hope that made u happy.. why did u weep.. is it coz u wanna tell us somethin? Anyway till the very end, u didnt want us to worry. U made us too tired to hang around your bed, so that we will go out and take a nap, while u slipped away just like that. I knew u didnt want us to see you go. You were just being too thoughtful. Even the date u picked was memorable. It will remind us of you on 20th May for your wedding anniversary, 20th Sept for marian's bday, and then again in Nov as your death anniversary. We'll remember you on my birthday coz we share the same month!!
You're a very organised man huh!!
Im damn sure u wont want mom to work, but i think she will. I hope u'll make her decide to go back to NTUC coz u got to know her from there many years ago right! She worked there before. Working will keep her mind off those sad things.. being at home alone without u hurts her so badly.. We miss u so much. Despite all these, i wont go out too often la. Will stay at home more often and keep her company. Do keep her strong in spirit and in health.
Please bless us. We need all your help and support too. On the other hand, go in peace. Hope you'll have a good time up there with God. Hopefully he provides u with a toolbox of tools and a computer and a handphone. If u do need a handphone, pls inform me. i'll burn 1 for you. Wont be afraid of getting weird SMSes but pls dun give me weird calls.. i love you but im too timid for all these..
I love you dad. I will miss u lots lots lots. i kissed u so many times in the hospital.. so did mom..Do come back, we'll be waitin for you. But please dun tease nor play any pranks.. i might die of fright....
Cya soon..
Monday, July 12, 2004
hmm. juz came back from c div nationals. aha. our kc did quite ok lar. haha. this yrs c div like no competiton. as in like no scary ppl.. my batch the 1989 batch. so much power bowlers... today like nv really see any. so sad.. y my yr!!. haah. but they have like sport sch. but still. y my yr!!. ahha. okko. so yar.. juniors really imporved in speed and rev. kinda proud of them coz they have learned how to focus. ahhah. yep. =). guess my job of scolding them almost for soo many trngs is coming to an end. ahha.*bettter not let me scold u all ar. ahha. ok
ytd..Happy Birthday Daddy!!! went out wif sis and mama.. after church. supposedly to meet them at dad's there to put flowers and see him.. then got some miscommunicatuions.. then mama abit angry.. sis had fever.. and ended up meeting at bugis. in the end. everything turned out fine. haha. infact, good. mama was happy. sis was quiet. that's a sad thing.. coz she has fever and sch's starting for her today. ahha. then okok.. guess wad.. i changed my plan!!!!!. so happy. coz currently, i using this really old plan.. i think pod 18. ..then like i use less than 100 msgs, and hardly reach 80mins talktime.. haha.. then i'm paying like $40-50 monthly.. mad rights. so change plane. TO [iplus one].. really good. hear this.......
-free incoming calls.
-free 80mins outgoing
-free 500msgs.
-$25.20
hahaha.. yay!.. its cheaper and i feel more happy calling ppl for urgent matters.. eg.. sudden trng/meeting and stuff. haha. and guess wad..mama bought me a new phone!. hoho. and its my dream phone. ho ho ho ho. soooooo happy.. coz its like we're meeting financial probs really really soon. and now, a new phone. ha. and i think this is the last ex. thing mama's gonna buy for me. but, i'm really contented. haha. coz this new gagdet (i dun really call it a phone.. hah.) wraps up all the things i want. camera, videom, mps, games, phone. whoa. amazing right. i guess mama's also partially fulfilling dad's "duty"?. aha, coz on the last monday dad had, (or issit 2nd last?).. he wanted to buy me a phone. also for mama. then i was like.. NO.. no point. coz i was really satisfied wif my ever-always-hanging-6510.. coz its black and small.. drop also wun do alot of harm... so he bought a phone for himself. haha. funny old man. yar. picture my dad as this old man, buying a phone.. y?. to show off to his friends. aha. actauly not really show off.. coz his best friend, andrew, got new phone.. so like kaki-must-win-kaki kinda thing, one must get a new and bettter phone. so yar. there goes my dad. trying to be big shot.
love my dad. i think he;s really one of a kind. loves home. loves family. loves ppl, esp. e ppl that is in SIA.. regardless how high or how low the rank. ahha. he is impartial. haha. very very innocent. coz he duno everything except wires, engineering and stuff. he's brain, for the knowledge section only consist of like wrking, making ppl happy, and making new stuff to save lives at the airport.. (esp. the run-off for planes.. that area.).. he is only smart in such things. other things, he really seems reallly really have no sense at all. serious. simple things like.. finding a ladle in the house, he has probs. doing maths like multiplying 12 x 2, he has probs. haha. this is my dad. ever so loving and big heart. mum told me that he loves me the most. this really hurts me lar. coz ya, i've not been a gd daughter.. my sis is better lar.. but i dunoo lar.. but he loves me more? according to mama. mama loves sis more.. aha. my more is means 0.00001% lar. ahha.
i duno why i'm toking all this now. whaha. hmm..
teaching me how to read
Posted by Hello
haha. yes, yes.
Posted by Hello
ytd..Happy Birthday Daddy!!! went out wif sis and mama.. after church. supposedly to meet them at dad's there to put flowers and see him.. then got some miscommunicatuions.. then mama abit angry.. sis had fever.. and ended up meeting at bugis. in the end. everything turned out fine. haha. infact, good. mama was happy. sis was quiet. that's a sad thing.. coz she has fever and sch's starting for her today. ahha. then okok.. guess wad.. i changed my plan!!!!!. so happy. coz currently, i using this really old plan.. i think pod 18. ..then like i use less than 100 msgs, and hardly reach 80mins talktime.. haha.. then i'm paying like $40-50 monthly.. mad rights. so change plane. TO [iplus one].. really good. hear this.......
-free incoming calls.
-free 80mins outgoing
-free 500msgs.
-$25.20
hahaha.. yay!.. its cheaper and i feel more happy calling ppl for urgent matters.. eg.. sudden trng/meeting and stuff. haha. and guess wad..mama bought me a new phone!. hoho. and its my dream phone. ho ho ho ho. soooooo happy.. coz its like we're meeting financial probs really really soon. and now, a new phone. ha. and i think this is the last ex. thing mama's gonna buy for me. but, i'm really contented. haha. coz this new gagdet (i dun really call it a phone.. hah.) wraps up all the things i want. camera, videom, mps, games, phone. whoa. amazing right. i guess mama's also partially fulfilling dad's "duty"?. aha, coz on the last monday dad had, (or issit 2nd last?).. he wanted to buy me a phone. also for mama. then i was like.. NO.. no point. coz i was really satisfied wif my ever-always-hanging-6510.. coz its black and small.. drop also wun do alot of harm... so he bought a phone for himself. haha. funny old man. yar. picture my dad as this old man, buying a phone.. y?. to show off to his friends. aha. actauly not really show off.. coz his best friend, andrew, got new phone.. so like kaki-must-win-kaki kinda thing, one must get a new and bettter phone. so yar. there goes my dad. trying to be big shot.
love my dad. i think he;s really one of a kind. loves home. loves family. loves ppl, esp. e ppl that is in SIA.. regardless how high or how low the rank. ahha. he is impartial. haha. very very innocent. coz he duno everything except wires, engineering and stuff. he's brain, for the knowledge section only consist of like wrking, making ppl happy, and making new stuff to save lives at the airport.. (esp. the run-off for planes.. that area.).. he is only smart in such things. other things, he really seems reallly really have no sense at all. serious. simple things like.. finding a ladle in the house, he has probs. doing maths like multiplying 12 x 2, he has probs. haha. this is my dad. ever so loving and big heart. mum told me that he loves me the most. this really hurts me lar. coz ya, i've not been a gd daughter.. my sis is better lar.. but i dunoo lar.. but he loves me more? according to mama. mama loves sis more.. aha. my more is means 0.00001% lar. ahha.
i duno why i'm toking all this now. whaha. hmm..
teaching me how to read
Posted by Hello
haha. yes, yes.
Posted by Hello
Friday, July 09, 2004
hmm.basket.. my guitar string juz snap. its the 1st string omemore.. argh.. no guitar again till mon. argh. and then somemore. realsied that got sooo much hw. stilll wif the physics, e maths and geog.. now a lit project. hoho. by wed. tralala. God. pls help. argh
today's marching is kinda tiring.. i dun like the.."prefecttts! kentunkucy.. ha dan.. ".smth like that. then march on the spot.. while singing.. sch song. prefects song.. argh.. i got block nose. then was like grasping for air.. yuan ting keeps saying i pale. ahha. 3 wks nv go out in the sun liao.. of course ma.. haiz.
on e way back... met wif an accident?.. not really accident lar.. ahha. coz the bus was crowded... but every1 as seated lar.. so i no seat.. so i go the the back... the middle seat. the aka.. "dancgerous seat".. so ya.. then towards the tjc that area.. the bus bang into smth. i duno lar.. but the impact quite big for a halt lar. but.. it sti carried on moving.. then for about 7-8m.. then stop.. then every1 turn back to look wad happen.. i felt so malu. like so many ppl looking at me. so i also duno duno go and turn back. aaha. nothing leh.. but all were very sure that we hit smth. ahha. many the hydrant?, the lampost?.. curb?.. cannot b the curb.. coz wif tt speed.. should have abit to overcome the curb. haa. yes. i was shock. haha. coz was thinking about dady. haha. thinking of him when the time he fell till his bday. ahah. then like suddenly the bus crash a little. haha. then ya lor. yup. i slided down my seat for a moment and able to regain my posture. ahha. thank God was carrying only my bio bk. ahha. then the nice girl beside me ask me whether i was alright for 2 times. haha. she look v familiar. so yar. hahha. i cleary rmbr the freaky bus no. not a double decker 196. SBS 2599 C . ha. haha. okok. was fun lar.. coz thebus sway here and there then bang.. haha. wasn't raining so cannot be skidded. hhhammm... this seems spooky.. okok
haha. better continue my research on the plot for twelfth night. i can smeel death. whaha. oh ya. sundauy is my dad's 62th bday. hoho.
today's marching is kinda tiring.. i dun like the.."prefecttts! kentunkucy.. ha dan.. ".smth like that. then march on the spot.. while singing.. sch song. prefects song.. argh.. i got block nose. then was like grasping for air.. yuan ting keeps saying i pale. ahha. 3 wks nv go out in the sun liao.. of course ma.. haiz.
on e way back... met wif an accident?.. not really accident lar.. ahha. coz the bus was crowded... but every1 as seated lar.. so i no seat.. so i go the the back... the middle seat. the aka.. "dancgerous seat".. so ya.. then towards the tjc that area.. the bus bang into smth. i duno lar.. but the impact quite big for a halt lar. but.. it sti carried on moving.. then for about 7-8m.. then stop.. then every1 turn back to look wad happen.. i felt so malu. like so many ppl looking at me. so i also duno duno go and turn back. aaha. nothing leh.. but all were very sure that we hit smth. ahha. many the hydrant?, the lampost?.. curb?.. cannot b the curb.. coz wif tt speed.. should have abit to overcome the curb. haa. yes. i was shock. haha. coz was thinking about dady. haha. thinking of him when the time he fell till his bday. ahah. then like suddenly the bus crash a little. haha. then ya lor. yup. i slided down my seat for a moment and able to regain my posture. ahha. thank God was carrying only my bio bk. ahha. then the nice girl beside me ask me whether i was alright for 2 times. haha. she look v familiar. so yar. hahha. i cleary rmbr the freaky bus no. not a double decker 196. SBS 2599 C . ha. haha. okok. was fun lar.. coz thebus sway here and there then bang.. haha. wasn't raining so cannot be skidded. hhhammm... this seems spooky.. okok
haha. better continue my research on the plot for twelfth night. i can smeel death. whaha. oh ya. sundauy is my dad's 62th bday. hoho.
Thursday, July 08, 2004
hmmm. ahha. okok. gd day to blog. haha. i finally got my tie!. aha. also the new uniform. hwhahha. happy. =). finally. haha.the photos thing for ms chai. really make me go mad. aha. resorted o otking to myself. thanks to sara and geraldune for helping me.. ahha. if not i die. haha. if i do all the stuff its ok. but got soo many reps. then all give me wrongly. then sam and i had to redo. ahha so yar. v messy. then today stayed back after sch till 330 juz sorting everything.. and ms chai was happily not in sch. haa. almost died. so i put the moneyinto her pigeon hole. hoho. God, bless those money man. hha. then yar lor. today me, sara and gel wad v v v hyper today. ahahha. duno mans. aha. spent 2h tieing a tie, laughing and being made at the staff photos board there. ahaha .mrs agnes tan 'played' wif us for about 5mins. whahahha. damn funny. love these 2 ppl. ahaha.
currently, struggling to finish my physics, and e maths. haha. and also guitar!!> argh.. speaking of which.. the new lesson is to like tune my 6th string to a lower D.. aahha. then got a wider range.. kao.. then always tune till very out. then play very not nice.. then wanna turn back. so siaow. ahha. lucky my teacher told me that its 2.5 turn. if not i cannot play. haha.
today on the way back after spending time wif my 2 beloved friends, took bus wif gel. then saw sean.. from acsi prefects. he was in my team for june act. ahah.. then got to know my no. hhaha.then ya lor.. was shock lar.. ahha. coz usually take bus wi gel, wun go upper deck. haha. then today surprisingly, gel went upper deck.. so see him lors. ahha. so coincincidental. aha. =).
ok lar.. better stop blogging.. got to do some research. ahha.
currently, struggling to finish my physics, and e maths. haha. and also guitar!!> argh.. speaking of which.. the new lesson is to like tune my 6th string to a lower D.. aahha. then got a wider range.. kao.. then always tune till very out. then play very not nice.. then wanna turn back. so siaow. ahha. lucky my teacher told me that its 2.5 turn. if not i cannot play. haha.
today on the way back after spending time wif my 2 beloved friends, took bus wif gel. then saw sean.. from acsi prefects. he was in my team for june act. ahah.. then got to know my no. hhaha.then ya lor.. was shock lar.. ahha. coz usually take bus wi gel, wun go upper deck. haha. then today surprisingly, gel went upper deck.. so see him lors. ahha. so coincincidental. aha. =).
ok lar.. better stop blogging.. got to do some research. ahha.
wahah..online to do chem hw! haha. hm.. have been sick. ytd.. had marching. aha. so fun. i like marching. feel whoa. haha. then was sick lar.. wif temp. 38.0.. aha. then yuan ting dun allow me. haa. then i juz go in like that. haha. then anyhow fake temperature to 36.7 then she allow. whahahhaha. then yar lor. kinda tired later.. went home. by sbs bus. haha. died on the way. not really lar. ahh. the aircond was blowing till i cannot breathe. then went home..and fell onto the sofa. temperature 38.4. actually not that bad liao. coz usually i fever is 38.6, 38.9, 39.1.. this range.. then this time abit better. haa. felt ok lar.. juz warm and cold. hah.then ate all the remainng medicine and stuff and slept.. then didn't do hw.. lucky all the teachers today didn't really press us for hw. ahah. the felt bad. today mama gave me that medicine again. now duno wad i typing actually. whaha. okok. erm. ya.. going to slp soon even if i dun want. ahha
i wanna be a neuro sergeon, if canot, then be doc in a&e ward.. die die must wrk in sgh. haha. also, die die cannot go stupid, useless cgh. haa. okok. dad's bday on sunday. another special day which falls on a special day. ha. dad.. stop reminding me! irritant!> ahaha. jkjk. byes.
i wanna be a neuro sergeon, if canot, then be doc in a&e ward.. die die must wrk in sgh. haha. also, die die cannot go stupid, useless cgh. haa. okok. dad's bday on sunday. another special day which falls on a special day. ha. dad.. stop reminding me! irritant!> ahaha. jkjk. byes.
Monday, July 05, 2004
piang. today during tuition, almost died. argh. head so pain. then when for guitar.. almost died too. ahha. coz started having very heavy flu. then went home, give donna tuition. started off ok.. then later.. the medicine started to take effect. then whoa.. dizzy. then she left.. sleep.. then told her to call me at 7 to wake me up. mama then comes to the room at 7, saying got dental app. so i was like.. dead. haha. then went back to slp. had fever.. all muy limbs froze. ahah. cannot feel. so scary. then later.. i thought bathing could improve situation. it did.. abit only.. now at least able to blog. haha. tml phototaking.. how how how. ahaa. than somemore tonight must slog.. soo much hw. argh
this is funny man..its kinda true to a certain extend lehs. ahha http://quizilla.com/users/irawkandrulemorethanyou/quizzes/Which%20School%20Can%20You%20Most%20Likely%20Find%20Your%20Partner%20From%3F%20(With%20Detailed%20Descriptions)/
[Anglo-Chinese School (Independent)]: A poser boys school known to others as a school full of posers who are only interested in bimbos and have relatively bad grade in chinese. But really, they ARE cool and cute. [Good points]: cool, cute, lame, humourous, sporty, positively good-looking. [Bad points]: TOO poser, big egos, totally braindead, spend most of their time trying to attract bimbos, a stupid rule of the [[3 acts]] they need to have (if you dunno, too bad), a sore to RI boys' eyes. [Dress Code]: Blue pants and white shirts with blue patches on the collars. Baggy pants and shirts. Pants normally wore at hips with half un-tucked shirts in or out of school (sort of in the rule). [soo...i can see that you are an indiviual who is only interested on what is on the outside huh? Nice try.]
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[Raffles Girls' School]: The famous top girls school known to others as intellectual snobs and bimbos.But really, there ARE nice and sweet ones. [Good points]: intelligent, outgoing(for most), nice(for some), make a very good flaunting object to flaunt to your friends, pretty(most), open-minded, independent , rich. [Bad points]: proud, mean(usually for the pretty ones), overconfident, tomboyish, loud, and a sore in the eye to other girls' schools. [Dress Code]: low and tight belt on their navy blue pinafore. Normally reach till their knees to 4 fingers above. Rolled up sleeves. White blouse. [so i see you are interested in strong and capable and career-minded peacocks huh? Nice try.]
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[The Chinese High School]: A fairly not bad boys school known to others as irritably traditional chinese-sy boys. But really, they are not as "close-minded" as what we think. [Good points]: decent, traditional, humble, a total 100% homely guy u can expect.(note: doesnt apply to all) [Bad points]: TOO traditional, positively ignorant, positively not that great looking, sadly bad taste in girls, doesnt shave leg hairs.(quite ashamed to walk out with them in their shorts?) [Dress Code]: A yellowy brown shorts with white shirts.Shorts at waistline-hips normally. Normally tucked in shirts in or outside school. [i believe u will improve your knowledge on chinese 5000-years-history as much as on plucking out leggys hairs.*grins* Nice try.]
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[CHIJ St. Nicholas Girls]: A not-so-smart girls school known to others as a school full of lesbians and bimbos.But really, there ARE nice and really sweet ones.Rare though. [Good points]: girly and whiny(normally to boost a guy's ego), pretty(for some), sweet(for some), there is a strong bond of friendship between friends. [Bad points]: the weird interest they have in fellow schoolmates, bitchy(for some), their tendency to flaunt their "nice" legs with damn short skirts, giggly. [Dress Code]: An extremely low belt usually on their asses. Light blue pinafore that usually hang around at the thighs part. White blouse with un-rolled sleeves. [so you are just another one who is interested in those whiny bimbotic stuffs huh? Nice try.]
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[Raffles Institution]: The top boys school known to others as geeks and nerds. But really, there ARE cool ones. [Good points]: freakingly smart, some cool ones, humourous, nice if you are their friend, rich, nice flaunting objects to flaunt to your friends. [Bad points]: ridiculously mean if you are an enemy, big egos, being freakingly smart haha, blunt, dim in certain things, sore to ACSI guys' eyes. [Dress Code]: Smartly dressed in all white shirts and pants. Pants at waistline-hips normally. In school: all shirts neatly tucked in. Outside school: all shirts tucked completely out. [hmm...nt a bad taste indeed. high quality boys.Nice try.]
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[Nanyang Girls' School]: A second top girls school known to others as hopelessly chinese and fair girls. But really, some are tanned. *grins* [Good Points]: decent, serious, quiet, a thinker, least bimbotic of the girls schools. [Bad points]: shy, reserved, anti-social(some), being too chinese, MOST are fair like hell, rude(some), has a awful taste in both choosing school and guys, a sore to Raffles Girls' eyes. [Dress Code]: A sleeveless white blouse with a longish skirt. Normally reach below their knees or on their knees. Shirt tucked out at all times(its too short to be tucked in anyway). [I bet your chinese will improve greatly in the companies these china dolls, pal. Nice try.]
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[Anglo-Chinese School (Independent)]: A poser boys school known to others as a school full of posers who are only interested in bimbos and have relatively bad grade in chinese. But really, they ARE cool and cute. [Good points]: cool, cute, lame, humourous, sporty, positively good-looking. [Bad points]: TOO poser, big egos, totally braindead, spend most of their time trying to attract bimbos, a stupid rule of the [[3 acts]] they need to have (if you dunno, too bad), a sore to RI boys' eyes. [Dress Code]: Blue pants and white shirts with blue patches on the collars. Baggy pants and shirts. Pants normally wore at hips with half un-tucked shirts in or out of school (sort of in the rule). [soo...i can see that you are an indiviual who is only interested on what is on the outside huh? Nice try.]
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[Raffles Girls' School]: The famous top girls school known to others as intellectual snobs and bimbos.But really, there ARE nice and sweet ones. [Good points]: intelligent, outgoing(for most), nice(for some), make a very good flaunting object to flaunt to your friends, pretty(most), open-minded, independent , rich. [Bad points]: proud, mean(usually for the pretty ones), overconfident, tomboyish, loud, and a sore in the eye to other girls' schools. [Dress Code]: low and tight belt on their navy blue pinafore. Normally reach till their knees to 4 fingers above. Rolled up sleeves. White blouse. [so i see you are interested in strong and capable and career-minded peacocks huh? Nice try.]
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[The Chinese High School]: A fairly not bad boys school known to others as irritably traditional chinese-sy boys. But really, they are not as "close-minded" as what we think. [Good points]: decent, traditional, humble, a total 100% homely guy u can expect.(note: doesnt apply to all) [Bad points]: TOO traditional, positively ignorant, positively not that great looking, sadly bad taste in girls, doesnt shave leg hairs.(quite ashamed to walk out with them in their shorts?) [Dress Code]: A yellowy brown shorts with white shirts.Shorts at waistline-hips normally. Normally tucked in shirts in or outside school. [i believe u will improve your knowledge on chinese 5000-years-history as much as on plucking out leggys hairs.*grins* Nice try.]
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[CHIJ St. Nicholas Girls]: A not-so-smart girls school known to others as a school full of lesbians and bimbos.But really, there ARE nice and really sweet ones.Rare though. [Good points]: girly and whiny(normally to boost a guy's ego), pretty(for some), sweet(for some), there is a strong bond of friendship between friends. [Bad points]: the weird interest they have in fellow schoolmates, bitchy(for some), their tendency to flaunt their "nice" legs with damn short skirts, giggly. [Dress Code]: An extremely low belt usually on their asses. Light blue pinafore that usually hang around at the thighs part. White blouse with un-rolled sleeves. [so you are just another one who is interested in those whiny bimbotic stuffs huh? Nice try.]
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[Raffles Institution]: The top boys school known to others as geeks and nerds. But really, there ARE cool ones. [Good points]: freakingly smart, some cool ones, humourous, nice if you are their friend, rich, nice flaunting objects to flaunt to your friends. [Bad points]: ridiculously mean if you are an enemy, big egos, being freakingly smart haha, blunt, dim in certain things, sore to ACSI guys' eyes. [Dress Code]: Smartly dressed in all white shirts and pants. Pants at waistline-hips normally. In school: all shirts neatly tucked in. Outside school: all shirts tucked completely out. [hmm...nt a bad taste indeed. high quality boys.Nice try.]
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[Nanyang Girls' School]: A second top girls school known to others as hopelessly chinese and fair girls. But really, some are tanned. *grins* [Good Points]: decent, serious, quiet, a thinker, least bimbotic of the girls schools. [Bad points]: shy, reserved, anti-social(some), being too chinese, MOST are fair like hell, rude(some), has a awful taste in both choosing school and guys, a sore to Raffles Girls' eyes. [Dress Code]: A sleeveless white blouse with a longish skirt. Normally reach below their knees or on their knees. Shirt tucked out at all times(its too short to be tucked in anyway). [I bet your chinese will improve greatly in the companies these china dolls, pal. Nice try.]
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sunday, July 04, 2004
haha. very enthu about tap dancing.. wanting to do it for coffee shop nite wif elaine, teachers' day wif some tap girls. haha. but i need the music!. aha
i'm horribly disgusted by myself today lors. supposedly to do hw to one. then come home. play com leh. play until 7pm then eat abit. the u knmow wad? sleep till now!!!>. kao. so much wrk haven done i still dare slp. haha. the 3 days wrkshop is fading away from me.. argh. nononono. i need that mentality back.
i want this...! mad man. $$ haha. fly here.
i'm horribly disgusted by myself today lors. supposedly to do hw to one. then come home. play com leh. play until 7pm then eat abit. the u knmow wad? sleep till now!!!>. kao. so much wrk haven done i still dare slp. haha. the 3 days wrkshop is fading away from me.. argh. nononono. i need that mentality back.
i want this...! mad man. $$ haha. fly here.
Saturday, July 03, 2004
today i wore my tie. hhaha. tied it all by myself. ahhah. so proud of myself. coz i nv ever succed in tieing a tie. ahha .okok. then today for balllet, didn;t do much. ahha hopefully to do point nxt wk.. and for ballet recital which falls on dec, we using MAKSIM music!!!!!!!!!!!!!Croatian Rhapsopy... i hope she uses 2 songs mans. hah.. today also finished the class dance for tap. starting the rectial dance next wk. plann to find some dance club members to do a tap dance wif me for teacher's day.. need a grade 7 or above.. if no one.. then at least grade 5 or 6.. aha. lost all e courage to dance alone. haha. coz this dance... according to my teacher.. is difficult and fast. ahha. so yar. excited!
then later went to meet jaslin, elizabeth and shu hua for the duty at ij fest. ahha. ppl say i look erm. shuai.. [4th tone].. in my tie. haha. then saw hann khee. and he did not recognise me.. and daniel wong. ahahha. he supposedly to go for teens time. hah. also saw 3 girls who attended the acsi prefects camp, saw alot of unexpected ppl today. vk is mad. vk dance is super power. i didn't know she dances soooo well.. last time we joined hip hop together, and quit together as we found that the class is not very active?.. haha. power man. hopefully, she'll able to join me in my tap and ballet rectial. haha. can't wait. i wanna do a point-wrk dance. hah.
anywyas.. haven finished all my hols hw, chinese, ss, LIT!, physics,. and haven started e maths. hoho. and wad.. prefects marching. hoho. i'mm soooo dead.. if u refer to the schedule, its all on mon and sat. and I ALL CANNOT!!... and i wanna march.. coz i nv march b4. serious.. i can make it on mon only after 415.. and b4 245. haha. this is soo not correct. time managemnet all screwed. i can soo dead. how to explin to exco?.. juz say i have class??. cannot.. they sure call me change class.. but its for sure cannot change class lor.. then how.. wanna march but can't go for the trngs.. haha. maybe ask evelyn to train me one-on-one.hah. i die first. but she got her o levels and stuff.. HELP!?,. PREFECTS.. GIVE SUGGESTIONS ON WAD SHOULD I DO.
then later went to meet jaslin, elizabeth and shu hua for the duty at ij fest. ahha. ppl say i look erm. shuai.. [4th tone].. in my tie. haha. then saw hann khee. and he did not recognise me.. and daniel wong. ahahha. he supposedly to go for teens time. hah. also saw 3 girls who attended the acsi prefects camp, saw alot of unexpected ppl today. vk is mad. vk dance is super power. i didn't know she dances soooo well.. last time we joined hip hop together, and quit together as we found that the class is not very active?.. haha. power man. hopefully, she'll able to join me in my tap and ballet rectial. haha. can't wait. i wanna do a point-wrk dance. hah.
anywyas.. haven finished all my hols hw, chinese, ss, LIT!, physics,. and haven started e maths. hoho. and wad.. prefects marching. hoho. i'mm soooo dead.. if u refer to the schedule, its all on mon and sat. and I ALL CANNOT!!... and i wanna march.. coz i nv march b4. serious.. i can make it on mon only after 415.. and b4 245. haha. this is soo not correct. time managemnet all screwed. i can soo dead. how to explin to exco?.. juz say i have class??. cannot.. they sure call me change class.. but its for sure cannot change class lor.. then how.. wanna march but can't go for the trngs.. haha. maybe ask evelyn to train me one-on-one.hah. i die first. but she got her o levels and stuff.. HELP!?,. PREFECTS.. GIVE SUGGESTIONS ON WAD SHOULD I DO.
Dear prefects,
The following are some important reminders.
1. Please come to school in your white u on Tuesday the 6th of July otherwise you will not be included in the picture.
2. The dates for the national day marching are:
* tue-fri 6th -9th of July after school
* sat 10th july (0900-1200)
*mon 12th July (1445-1645)
*sat 17th july (0900-1200)
*mon 19th July (1445-1645)
*sat 24 July (0900-1200)
*mon 26 July (1445-1645)
*sat 31 july (0900-1200)
Attire: p.e. attire is to be used
-please take note that the dates are subject to changes
Luv,
Ex-co
The following are some important reminders.
1. Please come to school in your white u on Tuesday the 6th of July otherwise you will not be included in the picture.
2. The dates for the national day marching are:
* tue-fri 6th -9th of July after school
* sat 10th july (0900-1200)
*mon 12th July (1445-1645)
*sat 17th july (0900-1200)
*mon 19th July (1445-1645)
*sat 24 July (0900-1200)
*mon 26 July (1445-1645)
*sat 31 july (0900-1200)
Attire: p.e. attire is to be used
-please take note that the dates are subject to changes
Luv,
Ex-co
Friday, July 02, 2004
today sch was tiring and fun. ahha. morningn had maths.. yar.. then was bio!!. we disected a heart. ahha.. pig one.. very wah. say chords.??.. purmurtic thingy, aiotic vein.wahha. all duno how to spell. nice to touch.. was getting myself mentally prepared to. haa. so fun lor.. later.. immediately was chem!. ahha. mixed hydrochloric acid with erm,.. erm.. sodium hydroxide??haha.. so fun.. using burette and piptte...then recess.. then lit.. i got 15/20 for the test!!.. its a factual test.. and i did not read the bk.. its kamani and mel that helped me narrate the story in da morning. whahah. like listening comprehension. ahaha. shiok ar.. haha. then later was chinese?. by then was tired.. so slept.. argh.. so sad k.. 2nd day..
today sch gave us water bottles.. those metal ones.. ahha. i got 6 of them. changed 2 red ones to 2 blue ones wif the sec 2. ahhah. then now got 2 blue and and 4 red. all free>!!
after sch.. had prefect meeting... trainees got their tie!!> ahha. yay.. happy. but yea.. some pros and cons. . hmm..voting for exco.. was really difficult to tick 10 names.. so i tick like 6?.. ahah. coz i really want this batch to like empower.. haha. yar. so was really serious in the decision making. ahha. mad ar... also.. have to march from tue-fri.. from after sch to about 5-6!!!!!!.. pity o levels.. how to study.. me also.. go home would b soooo tired.. hmm.. shall take it as a challenge.*hopefully i heard wrongly.. hopefully is either of the days.hahaaa. anyways.. proud to be part of the board. lala. ahha. many setbacks man.ahah. but it really makes me feel happy when i go good. whaha. okok,.
tml.. got to sell things at ij fest.. ahha. so the 5 ppl gg encouraged me to wear tie. aha. scared.. haha. tap dacing i really got to break the rule.coz got to take out the tie and un-button the collar.. well. ..its a dancing class in da morinng after all.. ahha. yup.
the adam khoo's wrkshop things is starting to drift from my mind.. argh.. must try and reinforce. ahha.
today sch gave us water bottles.. those metal ones.. ahha. i got 6 of them. changed 2 red ones to 2 blue ones wif the sec 2. ahhah. then now got 2 blue and and 4 red. all free>!!
after sch.. had prefect meeting... trainees got their tie!!> ahha. yay.. happy. but yea.. some pros and cons. . hmm..voting for exco.. was really difficult to tick 10 names.. so i tick like 6?.. ahah. coz i really want this batch to like empower.. haha. yar. so was really serious in the decision making. ahha. mad ar... also.. have to march from tue-fri.. from after sch to about 5-6!!!!!!.. pity o levels.. how to study.. me also.. go home would b soooo tired.. hmm.. shall take it as a challenge.*hopefully i heard wrongly.. hopefully is either of the days.hahaaa. anyways.. proud to be part of the board. lala. ahha. many setbacks man.ahah. but it really makes me feel happy when i go good. whaha. okok,.
tml.. got to sell things at ij fest.. ahha. so the 5 ppl gg encouraged me to wear tie. aha. scared.. haha. tap dacing i really got to break the rule.coz got to take out the tie and un-button the collar.. well. ..its a dancing class in da morinng after all.. ahha. yup.
the adam khoo's wrkshop things is starting to drift from my mind.. argh.. must try and reinforce. ahha.
Thursday, July 01, 2004
hoho.. i juz died..sooo much bowling admin. haha. from jan collect collect until now.. so lazy.. haha. finally.. the c div particulars all settled!!>. but then still got some particulars they haven check and give me. hoho. more wrk marian. ahha. plus.. b div haven added. hoho. haha. nvm. anywaysl. enjoying.. all the best to c divs mans.. i see that their attitude towards has changed ever since they started the intensive trng, leaving all seniors trng-less. haha. till end of july!!. ahha. okok . then.. yar.. they've been wrking hard. that's gd lar. kidna happy. juz hope that they'll not give up and continue to aim for sch. fight on! haha. =D
today colected white uniform. aha. the skirt is long. the blouse is choking me. ahha. can u imagine.. wif the tie. whaha. die.. anyways. juz be thankful. today whole day was trying to be focus and motivated to do things correctly, eg. not playing com.. but yeah. succumbed to finding blog music.. friendster and stuff. ahaha. then i spent in total of 4h typing names, no.s.. hp, house, mama's no, class, nirc.. siaow man. type till i die. aha. okok.. hopefully mr lim would be happy. =). yup. gonna finally start on sch wrk now. hoho. if this is not o-levels.. o levels how. wahah
today colected white uniform. aha. the skirt is long. the blouse is choking me. ahha. can u imagine.. wif the tie. whaha. die.. anyways. juz be thankful. today whole day was trying to be focus and motivated to do things correctly, eg. not playing com.. but yeah. succumbed to finding blog music.. friendster and stuff. ahaha. then i spent in total of 4h typing names, no.s.. hp, house, mama's no, class, nirc.. siaow man. type till i die. aha. okok.. hopefully mr lim would be happy. =). yup. gonna finally start on sch wrk now. hoho. if this is not o-levels.. o levels how. wahah
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)