Diane left. i feel so regretful. she left on thursday morning.. 0240.. peacefully. i wanted to go and visit her on wednesday. my tiredness succumbed me. and i didn't. so i planned to go and visit her thursday...wanted to call jasmine... and i recieved this dreadful msg.. i miss her. i miss her smile. juz came back from the wake. saw her barbie dolls, toys, and things that a 11-yr old like to do... tiredness is another factor that is really a dreadful thing which i hate. saw her family today. her mum wasn't ok. this yr is really a terrible yr for me. how bad can it get?.. dad died, diane passed away, results attained is the worst in my entire life, b div screwed, literally gasping for air (oxygen... duh) at times, broken family, quiet HDB, teachers' complaints... how worrse can it get. but today's wake really reminded me of God's love.i juz duno why. Good ppl dun last. and gets taken away. 3 wks b4 she left, she drew her last pic that spoke thousands of words. Partially about God's love. this child has really loved God so much that until her death bed, she still feels God's love and love Him in return. wad about me? it makes me feel really guilty that sometimes i question God of why He does things not in favour of me. sometimes i juz blame God. Am i really reflecting myself as a worthy child of God?.. is my faith drying up?
i hope that daddy and diane is playingwif each other now.. hopefully dad can be the repair man in heaven. i miss all of them. i realise that as time goes by, u tend to loose ur things, ur ppl, ur family and friends. why is all this happening.... espicaly to diane? why must it be diane? why not any of the 3 armed robbers? or any ppl who commit sins and still thinks its right..... God. help.. i dun want to loose u.. i cannot help myself. i need u.
this is getting really emmotional. sorry guys.. this is my blog.. where i splat all my thoughts.