ok. shaun's condition
basically, yar.. as i;ve said.. he supposedly tob in coma now..unable to communicate much. but then... today... at aroud 945pm.. he went to pee. to the toilet..!>. then heard from his dad he spoke 'shiok'. wah..then when he was back on the bed, he told his dad he wanted slurpee.. bublegum flavour!.. abd later asked for his sister. this was the only time he could literally talk to us!. ahah. so happy.. then all the guys and teens all queue up to tok to him.. to tell him how he've blessed many lives.. wasted... wished Dennis was there.. yup. later.. had to go back. so didnt rreally tok to him. and.. ad now home.. haa.

today after service...went to paint the banner for church camp (on thus!!!) till about 6 then went to see shaun...yup.. nothing much..

tml.. i wun b in singapore.. so dun msg me... =).. okok.. if not bpay more i guess.. haha.. yar.. the geog field trip.. haha be in sch like 640?.. i very scared late. haha. anyways... my 10 mins almost up.. sis eating now.. so i hafta hurry. haha. okok. tata.

shaun's condition
shaun is basically not responding to the morphine... so ya. its bad... they're increasing the dosage.... but he vommits them out.. so they're inserting the morhpine through a tube through his hands i guess.. yar... and now, he has lost his sight and speech... little shaun is still not giving up.. still fighting.. he is supposedly to o into coma now.. but yea... still fighting.. the parents and demi are really ired.. pls pray for shaun.. and also.. pray that shaun will juz let go... juz let go... yup...

friday
haha... in the morning went to see shaun.. as usual.. not really doing well. ya.. was really touched when he struggled really really hard to say "thank u" to Pastor Dennis after he prayed for shaun.. his parents 'translated' the 2 words to dennis as shuan was really struggling.. then later.. we worhsipped and sang songs.. really hope that shaun can hear and feel these songs.
after that went for NAG... was quite early... haha.. quite worth it lar.. saw under 14 ppl bowled.. sports sch ppl is power k.....really power.. scary.. realy honour them. and also... gina lim improved alot ever since c div.. her rev is like whoa. speed is fast.... hook is really sharp,.. simple and sweet,.. really sccary.. very very power. yar.. they practically clinched all the medals. haha.
after tt its our turn to bowl.. haha.. we cheered alot during quartet... very good... hahha. bowled good for 1st 2 games.3rd game sux.. but yea... tried our best. haha.. had fun.time was like 1030.. ahha. the uncle samual was funny.. annoucing crap. ahha.. then the guys was like saying "hurry up lar.. tml got powerpuff girls.. ".. wahahha. damn funny. yar.. .. lynal is cute..wahhaha.. tsk tsk.. ya.. btw..kenrick che's mad.. bowled a 778 series??.. all above 230.. [ tell u guys teh details soon ]. ahhaha.. then later.. zen, regina, shu and i went to mac at ecp to have supper. the 24h one.. went there by cab.. so yar.. later.. went to the bowling alley.. saw sps the lionel, uncle jansen, uncle james, and all the old old ppl whom we were really close to last time when our homeground was there.. haha. then later... went to the beach... to tok and crap... ahha. then went back.. and i took a cab home coz it was like 0031.. hahha. then mama went downstairs to help me pay and send me home.... aww. haha...

today
as usual.. after all my stuff.. went to see shaun for 5 min.. then had to go meet mama.. ahha. she was nice today... got me alot alot of electornics gadgets.. hahha. and even a calculator... yup. cannot play anymore.. my 5 mins is up.. according to sis and mum ahha.. yar.. a brief bloog tooday..
oh ya.. monday gg to malaysia for 1 day coz of geography.. then tue taking off braces...wed gonna bowl... thurs to 15th... church camp!!!. yay. ahha. hopefully nothing will lead us astray.... as in.. make it a hassle-free trip for the committe ppl,, yup... ahha. end.

soory lar. juz felel like blogging again. my heart really pain leh. suddenly. i duno why. as in physically.. guess there's too many things happening. loosing too many ppl in my life.. goash.. tears flow unknowningly. haha.. freaky... shaun, diane, papa, etc,...

guess i'm experiencing family and financial probs now. com spoilt. mum sad. she was crying during dinner time. dady.. why u like tt.. can come back anot.. mama complain and complain.. no YOU life's didfferent and diffcult k.. guess it's my turn to put on a mask now.

basket man.. come home only mama start nagging... say wad i shout at her... then say dad pass away cannot take it blah blah blah. yes yes.. but hello.. she say A i do A she nag... she say B i do B she nag.. she say A i do B she also nag... wad she want man.. i wanna please her also canot... forget it.
today bowling really bad... cannot hit pocket.. heavy oil 4 mi... then pulled reggie alot.. ya.. then today after bowling.... stayed for squad B... its a really chiong squad.. serious.. all the cranks, team singapore, youths, combine schs.. argh. madness. hha. but nice to watch them bowl.. saw alot of msh guys bowling.. wonder how many teams they send in.. 4? 5?... sch rich man. haha. ya. after tt.. went to dental app.
yay.. removing braces on the 8th.. nxt w tue. haha.. yay. yar. finally. okok..now mama very sad. i duno ma.. she like got depression.. yes lar.. first lover, childhood friend, neighbours... but stil she has to accept the fact right.. i also daughter.. haiz.. dunno man.. really duno... juz hope that for the tml NIGHT bowling.. haha.. get at least a 220 which is impossible 4 me lar... then attempt to win quartet and make mama happy.. so tt she got nothing to say. God pls help man.
as for shaun.. heard that his condition worsened... and admitted to hospital again. haiz.. pls.. God.. there's alot of areas i need u to work in. haiz. hopefully, i will start sch wif a light-and-hw-free-heart. haha. yar. that's it. ahha.
730pm tml. here i come.. [wad only. haha]

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ARGH.. MADNESS.. STUPID COM.... THE SAME OLD VIRUS AGAIN.. REPAIRED AND ITS BACK. THEN FOR SURE HAVE TO REFORMATT THE WHOLE DAMN THING. ALL MY HARD WORK AND PICTURES GONE. GONE GONE GONE........ ARGH. CANNOT TAHAN. TOOK ME LIKE 2 WHOLE WKS DAILY TO SETTLE DOWN AND FIND BACK ALL MY DOCUMENTS. NOW CAN'T. STUPID VIRUS'S BACK. ARGH. HATE MY COM.
ARGHHHH... i'm so angry. juz came back from shaun's house.. on the way back.... i usually take the stairs lar.. then today while walking home.. feel very dizzy. on the way home.. head damn pain. felt like vomitting ad had cold sweat. freaky. i think i'm having low blood pressure. argh. wad only.
anyways.. went to shaun's house.. he was slping then.. he didn't look too good.. hewas very very tired.. woke up to eat.. and he vomitted... he wa in pain. he cou;d not breathe properly. still, he was trying to hide his pain through his mask- little shuan's smile.. but, he was still thankful that he was still breathing... after about 1-2h of being awake,.. he felt tired again and went to slp...
during the whole period... was teachign demi how to play the guitar.. kim, rachael, kenneth, jovin, charmaine, nigel, jeremiah, daniel, tat,lorraine was all there.. saw the family.. they looked tired. yup.
that's today i'm pissed real pissed with com. argh. using sis' com now.. arghhhhhhh. some one help man. ;(

arghhh.. pissed wif my 2nd game. 92 open all they way wif one pathetic strike.argh. 174, and 163 for the rest. crap siah. but overall.. i think i'm quite ok.. i consider myself as bowled well.. haha. ok lar. serious.. i can't stand ppl who bowl damn damn damn well... with soaring scores and say that they didn't bowl well.. hello?.. if ur avg is like 250 and u bowled a 200.. understandable.. but if ur avg is like 150 and u bowled 200.. erm.. and u say its bad.. wad u trying to prove. hah.sorry. juz letting out some anger. arghhhhh. 92 92 92. haha. i'm so going to cover up for doubles... i must not let regina down.. prove that i'm worthy as regiee's doubles partner. hah!... tt's it for singles. haha.. wondering where's jazreel... haha. okok.
today didn't see msh bowl.. whahha. *grins. no lar. juz curious... coz heard of them but nv see them bowl.. but tday saw lucas.. aha. ookok. enough. oh ya.. today got 1 tjc ppl nv come.. wonders... poor guy. paid $200 per team and wasted. ahaa. okok. heard also tt gerald got 299?? but then the score sheet like never say leh.. haha. suspicoius. yar. anyways. for myself, juz got to rmbr not to force it to hook. ahah. somemore using my wrist to do so. haha. dangerous. ookok. under 14 ppl like very high avg as compared to us.. the sports sch ppl are there. ya. 191? hoho. huiyang-unders 17-199?? hoho. haha. ok. that's it..
shall attempt to hit my highest score. waaha. 201? wahhaaha. aims to hit 230.. **takes out the binoculars to see..*.. miracles!!. let it happen// whoo... hyper now.

ahha
Posted by Hello

ahhaa the girls and him
Posted by Hello

shaun's family
Posted by Hello

ya... this is shaun.. and his family.. pray for him ya?

okok. today.. was NAG.. saw alot of ppl.. from acsi, msh, mgs.. alot... tml is the more chiong squad. our squad only have like 12 girls? haha. then no fun.. regina got top for our squad today.. tml is then squad b.. hoho. the lesly, evan, huiyang kinda ppl. all the combine schools ppl. ahahha. didn't bowl well.. at lane 15 and 16, all our ball kenna scratched... deep scratch k. esp my maxim... slayR is bad but not as bad.. argh. ahha.. then the guys beside us.. keep cpmlaining and complaining. wahhaha.. .. we and the temesek jc guys. haha.. btw.. their shirt is damn funny.. "in faithful memorary of 10 pins".. haha. wif a pic of a grave yard.. so anywyas. yar.. scratched. then we changed lane to 1 and 2.. cannot spare pin 10. ahha. and i today keep kiao-ing my ball lor.. like force to hook.. coz of the heavy oiling.. then all of us wanna sign peition to either remove the scratch by sending our get new balls!!..haha. obviously not. haha.. ya.. hand not obedient enough. haha. ook.
yup.. ltr.. went to makan.. and then went to buy stuff for the lit project at art friends at bras brasah commplex.. yup.. that's about it. hopefully.. tml get really high avg? ahha

today no ss... so was sermon.. ahha. was ok though.. raven.. and i think it reminded me of God's faithfulness lar.. coz its like i still have doubts. ha. then like NAG IS TML!!.. then i think i really need to trust God to carry me through although life dun seem as nice lar. after that. kimberly treated me sake sushi. felt bad.. but ya. then went to see shaun. he was slping. haiz. one of his eye's is patched up.. as in go tthe patch lar.. coz this is to help him prevent his sight to cross.. in another words, ppl say he's showin the showing the symptoms alr.... he's getting blind.. after the headaches and stuff. he has not much time left. i really wish that he can see and clear as b4.. and talk as loud as b4. despite all these. he is still jk.. eg.. last night.. "ma.. i think i'm getting blind. hahaha... so helpme cut the chicken.."... i tell u ar.. piang. this kid is really really positive. ya.. then later.. went to meet zen.. took neos again. ahha. this time was on adidas. ahah. then went home.
worried for tml.. actually is not really worried. is juz that i feel like i have to win kinda-thing despite the fact that uncle jack told us to juz go and play coz he didn't expect much.. yup.. that's about it..
hoho.. can't wait for tml

hmm. reflected a little.. was being very arrogant and stuff lar. i have a life. haa. and i want to make the best out of it. so smile. coz i'll never know when's my time. when i see mrs sim.. or smth. i must say sry lor.. as for the exco.. shall not bother much.. coz my comments won't be much of a help anyways.. but thank them for wasting lots of time to interview me and making them angry when they wasted their time instead for studying for their chinese o levels. yup. hah. i'm so positive. back to life. wanna thank geraldyne, evelyn, you-mei, yuan, sara.. for being my support lar... basically.. and also all the wonderful ppl who tag and actually read my -anger-. =)
ok.. today.. after dance.. haha. wait.. b4 that.. during dance.. during tap. dance. ahhah. didn't know my steps k.. was sooo slow. haha. musixc was fast.. steps was crazy. ahaha. everyone was laughing when we're dancing.. coz its so fast. like mad woman dancing. hahhahaha. machine vibrating. haha. okk. later..
went to katong to bowl. wasted my time. the lane had no oil. aha. okok lar. a little.. very very very lttle. almost dun have. so we used our spare ball, and i force rev on my spare ball.. coz the measurements for my maxim and slayR is diff. so was bad.. coz after 45mins of maxim.. i used slayR to try to get the felll for mon.. hoho. rev changed, ball slow, timing off.. ahha. worried now. i really very worried.. coz the last 2 throw b4 trng ended, i used slayR and all was realy really bad bad bad shots. hahaa. and mon is it. argh. haha. forget it. dun tok about it. haha. go and have fun. haha. attempt to win. hah.
after tat.. went for fun fair. reached their about 5pm,.. they were packing halfway, and at the same time, setting up for tml's service.. was really proud of myself.. coz kenneth was really encouraging. haa. "marian.. very impressive today ar!" -clapping his hands.- aha. he's this comical guy lar. haha. then i'm in the logistics/biamp team.. so today. did alot.. really alot. ahha. felt so all-knowing. ahhah. i guess this wil be the only time coz the rest were guys who were doing more hard labour stuff. was happy coz i set up 1 speaker all by myself. whahaha. set it up till it was high. haha. then set up another wif the help of jun min. aha. set up mics, biamp, stands, chairs, tables, extensions, ready for projector, fans.. haha. was happy wid myself coz i was given this opportunity. =). while doing.. was thinking about prefects. ahaa. since i can excel in this in church... let it be..i shall let go of my standards for this yr's term 1,2 exco, so as to prevent disappointments.. [any exco reading this. haha. sorry. to me, they are hard facts. wanted to add.. but ya.. u guys are exco after all. must rescpect.. serious.. i not being sarcastic.] =). haha. haha. so ya. was happy helping even though did not enjoy the fun fair and didn't know how was it like.
later.. went to see shaun. he was happy.. he could not really see.. and starting to loose his memorary. as in.. he cannot really rmbr?.. like wad he ate for dinner after 1h? yar. but he was happy. he was naming his never-ending stuff toy wif church ppl's names. was touched. aha. he named a sleepy bear 'marian'. haha. there was alot. haha. emphasizing the word 'alot'.. then talked to demi,.. shaun's sis. explained certain things in life.. to how to cope and stuff... basically, had experiences wif my dad. so yar.. and felt gd..really hope that she's able to pull herself..coz she's wearing a mask to hide her emmotions from her mum.. could tell.
later.. went home.. was sent home. thanks ar. ahha. ya.. i doubt u know that i have a blog. hah. so anywyas..thanks.. i realised that i've been typing 'anwyas' wrongly and same mistake.. ahah. so anyway. wanna thank God for many things. continue to pray for shaun. i wanna break scientific laws. God pls.

screwed up day. really. as in really screwed up.. nv felt so misunderstood b4, never had s much misunderstanding b4. lets start from the point i woke up..
woke up.. saw the sky.. was lighter in colour.. suspicious, and i therefore checked the clock. 630am. shocked. have to b in sch today specially at 7am.. for chairs and stuff.. took a cab down. wasted money. therefore, recess only drinked.. no lunch had dinner and lunch together at 6 plus alone. used to it.. but was in deep thought.
reached sch at 650.. put bag outside class.. went into the halll. mrs peggy tan wasn't happy wif the chair arrangements.. as usual... not giving us the plan.. expecting us to do according to a planless-plan.. no prefect besides nat stood out to be initative and give orders. i wanted to. could not. why?. afraid of discrimination. i'll explain later.. then later.. i juz helped out. followed mrs tan's instructions although i t thought that the plan of her arrangement was really very wierd... so anywys.. assembly was about to start. so me nat and i think jaslyn were so called 'given' 3 mins flat to plan.. and one exco happily chase us out of the hall, while they themselves do not have a plan.. and when we were forced to plan... we either get gossips or we get ppl scolding us.. hmm. forget it.. so i juz commanded nat to be incharge of sec 2, sec 1 the prefects can handle themselves coz its by a diff staircase.. then sec 3.. i think jaslyn?.. i sec 4.. so yar.. assembly was about to begin..
went to my class which i was taking care of.. sec 4/2.. told the prefects around.. tiff and charlene to help handle the class coz i'll be handling the level.. so.. while discussing.. assembly ended.. this is when trouble brews..
ok.. assembly ended, sec 1s went up by the chapel staircase.. then sec 2 by the uniform staircase.. which was gd and faster than i expected.. i was happy then.. later.. while waiting upstairs.. i felt that the prefects could not really be trusted to be oputspoken.. so i told daphane to stop and obstruct any sec 4 class from gg down to the hall regardless of their reasons. i trusted her to do so and she even said 'dun worry'.. hoho... so i went to the staircase connecting sec 3 and 4 levels..
at there.. sec 2s were still moving in.. and true enoguh.. prefects weren't right and sec3 came down while sec 2 were on their way. so i, being the traffic woman.. made sec 2s to hurry.. and sec 3 to pause.. then evelyn was there... then later.. things got worse.. sec 4s started to come down.. hoho.. had to freeze 2 classes. then evelyn and i were juz like quarrelling.. coz she thought i was at fault. coz i did not take care of my class.. truth was... ms wahida,, who did not know the plan, told them to go down... so they were making alot of noise and causing so much jam.. so i stop part of the sec 2s and let that particular sec 4 class to go to prevent any jam.. hello.. our staircase is not that big lar.. then evelyn was really angry at me... she didn't know the truth yet lar,.. so anyways.. after all the sec 2s gone, i let the sec 3s go.. then later.. everything went smoothly.. was happy wif the prefects in the hall.. ya
then later.. i felt that i was being too in-coltrolled.. coz i'm only a pathetic trainee.. who almost instructed an exco to do smth. hello.. can't blame me if i want things to go one way right?. so anyways.. after mass and everything.. was still angry at evelyn for scolding me for not knowing the truth lar.. so in class.. was angry and pour out all my anger at sara, yuan and gel.. best friends man. haa. then late.r. was ok. and forgot about the whole darn thing.. and led a happy life.. until......
sch was over.. it was my evaluation.. more of a last oppportunity for us sec 3s to be selected for excutive committee.. on the way there.. saw one of the higgest ran of exco.. then she give me black face.. haha. at then, i was already angry at the exco for not having any backup plan during mass.. yes, u all have ur o's.. however.. rmbr.. it was YOU the one that reinforced that time management was impt. wad about u?.. hello.. wake up.. so wad if u're exco.. does that mean that one should support another wif high authority whom is in the wrong?? bah. then later.. felt like giving up the interview.. coz i knew that they hated me. why? i have badd attitude. hah. so? i like it wad.. cannot ar. aha. wadeva lar.. then banged my bag down when its my turn. and went in to the PAC room.. mrs sim was happy. i greeted her.. she was smiling.. ok.. this is when thigns got really really terrible.
first they asked.. rate myself. i said 7. why?.. blah blah blah lar.. then they ask... do u want to be exco? i said ya.. giving them that face.. then here comes the best part.. "Do u think respect is important?".. -ya-.. "do u think u have respect for us as exco?" -no-.. "why?".. -slience-.. goash man.. through out the time. i was like telling myself.. ~dun get angry. dun tok cok.. juz dun tok..~.. really wanted to say that they are not worth respecting.. in a fit of anger.. but mrs sim was there and i didn't want to humilliate them.. after all they are still exco. i juz cannot tolerate ppl who have authority.. and thinks its really and one is very great but doesn't prove worthy of it. so later.. i was commented that "u are a very gd leader who posses alot of leadership qualities... however, u are blunt, disrespectful and straightforward. blah blah blah.. "... then another person.. who really trying to make be burst like a balloon said.. " u have to draw a line between exco and prefect.. if u dun give us respect... how do u expect students to respect u?".. piang.. i was on the verge of crying liao.. stilll want to agitate me.. mrs sim was in awe, exco was all frowning, evelyn was thinking that i was angry wif her but no, i was angry wif the exco as a whole, everyone was juz frowning and giving me a black face. hoho. i'm hated. you-mei was even frowning. hah. heart was pain lar.. then they say i may leave.. so when i left.. i pushed the door too hard.. wif my bowling hand.. then the magnet was so strong that the door stuck to the latch.. i pulled wif all my strength.. wif my bowling hand again coz i needed to go and be alone in the toilet.. then.... BANG..hhaa. i was like.. shit. haha. on the 2nd thought.. well, since i heard that they said that i have bad attitude, i have proven so.haha. let them be right for once..this evaluation to me is certainly not about exco. only one q was directly realte to exco. its more of confronting me and giving me warnings... hello. can't u all juz find a day and tok to me rather than screw up my chance. hahha. serious man.. questions were obviously directly shot at me. haha. heck. again.. i was in a fit of anger.. did not meet geraldyne, headed straight for they toilet,,.. threw my bag on the wet floor, sat on it and cry like hell..
didn't know wads gotten over me.. why am i so angry. its none of my business.. haha. was very emmotional. realised that i've changed. changed into a person wif even higher demand and expectations of ppl. then later.. sorted it out.. meet yuan and gel to go basket ball court and shout. haha. was basically teeling them the whole thing., crying, shouting, venting everything out of me. felt like quiting the prefectorial board,.. attempted to be and idiot and break the sch rules by unbuttoning my collar, low socks and low belt, took off my badge and threw it onto the wel toilet floor. haa. was being rash lar. hah.
after tt.. everything was over.. went to PAC room the outside.. waiting for you-mei to come out.. then saw mr pang... then he thought i was crying coz of results.. he attempted to make me happy.. but ahha. yar.. then later they came out. mrs sim asked my why i was so angry. then i was like.. anti-exco anti-exco. hahah.then the last few to come out was melissa, far'ain and you-mei.. then i told them straight.. u all are not worthy of my respect expect for you-mei and melissa.. oh well.. said angry words again.. felt very bad.. after which...
talked to you-mei.. about the whole board.. which was going to crash.. if someone doesn't stand out. and id the prefects could not be trusted. evelyn saw that and thought that i was complaining about her.. then after toking to you-mei for 1.5h.. she pinned my badge.. and ya.. felt better.. haa
then next, evelyn called me to tok to her.. she was at then, still angry wid me but ya... was good that she wanteed to clarify things. toking to her was really gd.. could be really frank and she could be to me. haha. felt like best friends.haha. anyways. ya. she somehow changed my perspective of certain things.. so ya.. from today onwards.
gonna be more respectful lors. haha. doubt that i can do that.. but yar.. msged the whole exco that i am sorry. only for today evaluation except aini... coz didn't haver her hp no..
i seriously duno whether to be myself which will seem to trample over the exco. or juz to be a bystander... let others gossip about others and chaos to occur.. if seriously lar,.. not being bhb or wad.. if i wasn't a traffic woman at tt time.. could u image that consequences.. no one could or rather, wanted to do anything.haha.
so yar. left sch at 5pm.. gel, sara and yuan, touchingly waited for me. later.. ater lucnh and dinner alone, went hoe, had a cold cold bath and get changed for church..
in church... saw all my church friends.. felt really blesssed to have them and was happy., didn't do much.. coz hte guys and other girls did alot. had to smile. haha. so ya..
tml;s the fun fair and i cannot GO!.its gonna be a big one.. in the mornign.. i'm gonna have damnce, afternoon, my last trng b4 NAG!!! ARGH... then later.. i think i can rush down by 5pm in church to help wi fhte packing up and cleaning up. haiz. miss again.
yup.. today,.. i really think that after my dad passed away.. pushed myself to be stronger which is now become my personality and invites trouble wif attitude. all my interviews/evaluation relating to prefects is simply jinxed. always having a bad day. oh well,.. i dun want to be exco... become liao, invite more gossip. haa. mary turner. hate those things. so yar.. juz wanna be a nice obediant me..
today is the longest entry i've every written. aha. if u've read all. ahaah. i'll be shock lar. aha. thanks anyways. felt much better after typing and typing.

today in sch.. during maths lesson got bg music. haha. whole sch like cinema like that.. so much sound effects. ahha. then also... mr pang is becoming more and more funny. ahaahha. then right... mrs lim also complimented my that i improved alot. whahaa. shiok. .. ya.mrs lim complimented me... big shock. aha. then also.. become one of the prize winners... duno for wad.. from last yr lar.. most likely its the helpful award thing. ahahha... coz acadamic cannot be.. haa. so yar..today's also the 1st half of the evaluation.. smth like ex-co interviwew for ppl wif name A-M... ahhaa. i change my to tml coz i today very very very bz.... so yar. after sch. prefects stacked chairs... well, was happy that at least i got a say in smth for once. wahha. however... ex-co promised us to give us the arrangements.. but did not lar.. so we did our own.. hopefully would be ok. coz last termm had to redo the whole thing in 5 mins flat... coz it was wrong.. it was again.. sitting arrangement not given too us.. so yar... cannot blame us right.. but anyways.. was proud of some prefects. =)
after sch.. lyn, zen, i made card for spikey hair. coz its her bday today.. didn't really know her name.. juz called her spikey hair.. she's a counter girl form pocket bowl.. formarlly cathay..so we somw how know each other,,..
later, me, zen, reggine, lyn, yuru headed for katong sc.. so me, zen and lyn cut hair... lyn abit no diff. but was nice.. zen looked younger.. she reallly cut her hair.. same as me... but mine is still can tie. ahha. yay..i like it..
then shu came.. and all of us bowled.. also wif anuaar and kazan.. kazan didn't bowl.. juz watched. aghahha.lane 5,6 had probs.. so shifted to 9, 10.. 9 was crazy. cannot cannot cannot send down.. sahara dessert.. very very reversed.. the other was still reverse but not so bad.. so yar. didn't bowl well,... not basing on scores.. but more of release and timings.. saw sports sch ppl trng.. thank God their under the under 15 category.. if not we all die.. they alll trng, avg is like 180 170... then they sulk and sulk. haha.
later.. after the games... bought shoe cover// finally.. happy.. =)..saw the shoes.. but was really ex.. standard lar.. but still ex.. ahha. then wanteed the Dexter one. too bad lar.. no size for me.. hhaa.. coz currently the one i'm usimg now is like half spoilt.. the right foot rubber wear and tear.. ahha. then the soles of left foot coming off.. and its not changeable..
later.. took bus wif shu and reggie and went home.. haha. ya. tml is the mass andd "interview ".. dun really go and give deep thought into this.. coz sure wun get in.ahah. feels tt exco thinks that i damn attitude prob.. coz i'm seriously no happy wif how are the trainees trained and how the prefects carry out duties.. so ya.. tha'ts it.. today.
tml also.. after tt.. gtg church, set up speakers and deco. ahha,.ya. pray tt i wun injure myself.=)

hoho. a new lit project. *shakes my own hand... a major one... twelfth night. and i haven read the bk ytet.. am i'm given till term 3 wk 2.. wif all the tournaments and camps using up all the hols time.. hmm.. so i left wif only 1 wk to do ALL my hw plus the project, and planning of the bbq.. no.. bbqS...argh.. so little time. then wanna go out also cannot.haha. worse than exams.. at least exams is only myself.. then now its a big thing.. i dun do this.. will affect alot of ppl. yeah
today rained heavily.. was online.. toking to gary. ahha. then i was researching on the twelfth night play lar..then when started to rain.. was feeling sooo literaturey.. told him that it's a sign of peace and all the crap. ahha. *tolerates. ahhaa. oh ya. these few days such a blessing man.. no gary in the morning. ahhaha..... jk lar. ya. but the 2 chai chee guys are still taking the same 196 bus. hahhaa
anyways.. can't wait for tml.. soooo many things to do.... buy pressy, cut hair, bowl... haiz... 2nd last time bowling b4 NAG.. how how how. haha. sheesh.. i need to go in masters. haha.

hmm.. today in sch. very bad.. was slping in class.. esp during ss.. head very pain.. haha. then later after sch.. had lunch.. haiz.. today everybody finished their food. =(. aagga.. then later, me, zen, sam, lyna dn yuru headed to katong shopping mall to bowl.. then no lanes.. until 3.30pm like that.. so we went jalan jalan.. haha. then zen, lyn and i will be cutting our hair at this hair saloon on thursday.. b4 we g bowl.. yup.. haiz. today bowling.. can say that it was worth it to a certain extent. coz...it was reverse crown oiling. whaha. i guess its really deeply reversed.. i change 1 board of standing position, my ball from gutter ball go overhoook. ahaha. madness.. then later... attempted uncle jack's line he gave to me during b div.. 5-5. haha. tried tt.. wrked alittle.. later on. the lanes change damn fast.. then the ball went straight down. ahha. slayR is a ball for dry dry lanes ma. so later.. did some experiments.. then during the 3rd game, found my line.. haha. like finally. 3rd game. haha. NAG is 3 games per day. ahaha. so yar.. new line for reverse is to stand at 37.. send the ball out all the way.. catch a suitable amount of oil.. and then pocket. ahhah. yay. but ball by the time no energy to cut through pin 5.. so abit no nice strikes.. haha. but the impact was gd.. coz send out.. then ball speed fast.. PAH!.aahhaa. first time.. long time nv play like tht.haha scores wasn't gd though.. coz yar.. deeply reversed. butt he spikey hair girl at the counter.haha. who is also our friend.. said that in tournament, it wun be reverse oilng.. haha phew.. and even showed us which machine will they be using..haha. for those taking part in NAG.. read my blog got tips somemore..ahaha. =D... then the counter girl abit stressed.. coz she broke up wif her gf after 3.5 years together.. and her birthday is on the 27th which is thurs.. tt's why.. hopefully,... me zen and lyn will be abe to give her a present by then..anyways.. today we left our balll there.. thurs gonna bowl again. haha. i love bowling. plan to go further.
after tt. went to meet mama and sis at sun tec.. ahha. went to sizzler to eat.. stole alot of food.. coz i went out to amc to go get plastic bag.. buffet ma.. ahha. then the waiter all look like from ACSI.. have the intellectual face.. .. then bought food from carrefour. haha. gd day.

hoho. toaday had some tok on -the truth about love, life and sex-.. haha. the ppl were really innovative and creative. ahha. the wrkshop.. 4h.. was ok lar. haa. last part that time.. was slping.. almost.. learnt alot about ppl.. not really much on the topic that theyt were focusing on.. ahhaa. more of understanding ppl's views on sex. coz the content i learnt b4.. so didn't really learn much.. but yar. was basically trying inderstand ppl lar. ahha. see if i can approach and talk/confront? them? ahaha.. marian doin this kind of thing.. shocking eh.. anyways. tml sch time-table as usual... argh..no mood now.. all on bowling. and NAG.. mr lim changed squad to under 17, Squad A..haiz.. got to change all my plans again.. haiz.. i think i really gotta help mr lim lors.. coz its like sooo mnay things not settled, not planned not confirmeed.. then he soooo bz wif all the markings and exams. then all the captains like soo bz wif bowling.. hah!haa. *coughs.. yea. then also.. soo many things haven planned. argh. ahaa. haiz. anyways.. ppl reading this, pls continue to pray for shaun... he's really positive.. he was saying that every morning is like a new life.. wif additional headaches and painful eyes.. and he was thankful for it... today while he was playing gunbound.. heard him say smth negative for once.. he was saying that he was really afraid tt the nxt day.. he'll start to loose his speech. and he still continued joking.. infront of his mum and even pretended to. really lar.. this child.. so innocent. he reminds me of dad. but dad had no opportunity to do the things he wanted, say the things he wanted nor feel the things he wanted. blech.. if only dad is here around.. =l.. anywyas,, back to shaun,.. he was saying that he was really afraid of those big injections.. u could see his hand.. filled with blue-black marks, scars and everything.. haiz. God help!

hmm.. to had a reallly gd fellowship wif church friends..after service, went to watch Shriek 2 with i think practically the whole teens and youth ministry. ahhaa..jasper was really busy and capable. he booked 56 seats which was 4 rows of the cinema... he ahd to collect money for the tixs and also for the daily bread. haha. thank God for him. yup..i then we put shuan in the middle. ahhaa. very funny the show..kinda r-rated? ahhha
okok.. after church. which was 52th anniversay service.. we went to the cinema.. saw lindy jie.. really.. could see her trying really hard to put a smile on her face... then i saw shaun. he was wearing a yellow shirt.. which was forever too big for him.. his usual hat.. haa. duno wads that called.. he necklace, rings and really funky stuff for a 10-yr old.. when i first saw him today... heart really cracked.haha. he's still so cheerful and bubbily.. always smiling and smiling and smilig.. as if nothing has happened. i am reallly encouraged by this small boy... his family is all so so strong.. dun wanna elaborate on his illness.. we juz really pray for miracles. really do hope that he is able to go for fun fair and church camp.. thank God for guiding them to this kingdom sia.. if not.. really dunno where will they get their support from.. also must thank the guys for being there when one needs help..
after the movie.. some of us went to eat.. at scotts.. shaun's most fav. fish ball noodle. haha. he was still happy and smiling.
later.. went home wif jas to get my bowling stuff and headed to jackies. was full. had a leaugue there. really needed to train.. so.. we went to katong. aah.bowled likw as if cannot bowl.. ahaha. scores are really displeasing. but yea.. shall try harded. hhahaha. consoled myself by saying that becausse its night so maybe i cannot bowl well. whahhahha. wad... then later.. went back to jackies to see desmond. haha. he very harworking.. yar.. then took a bus home. ahha. now home. safely.
thank God for this special day. thank God for shaun and his family.

today got back eng and elct geog.. ahha. i passed eng!. ahaa. then elect geog.. failed..i think last in class. haha. serious man. really cannot take in geog.. but i reallly regret changing core geog to elect..coz i think i can go further in JC wif geog than lit. haha. bah!. wad's done cannot be undone. okok. crap.
today also went to get white u for prefects!!. aha. so happy.. but yeah. must pay. lucky sch subsidising 1 set.. then later. geraldyne came my house..... then did her blog.. almost died.. haha.
hmm... b4 we left katong shopping center.. we went to the bowling alley.. aha. saw sam goh.. then saw the woman who used to wrk at yishun or issit east coast cathy..... at pocket's bowl!. ahaha. talked to her alittle.. yeah.. she told me mgs has been trng there for national age group.... *coughs. hohoh. that's it.. jazreel,hui yang all wil be there. haa. *claps... supposedly to go there on tue wif the sec 3s after sch to bowl.. then she say mgs trng on tt day, also got league... so lanes should be ready by 4..i guess we'll take very long. hahah.so,.. aha ... she also said that she'll try and seperate us from mgs. whaaha... coz pocket bowl (formerally silver bowl i guess.. ) got 2 serperate area to bowl.. also heard that jazreel won the dunno wad masters there b4.. so i guess she's really comfortable wif there.. ahha. and wad.. we're coachless for the nxt of whole wk.. happily gg into NAG with 2 offical trngs. ahha. i juz realised tt i've been complaining and complaining. ahahhaha.
okok.. 9 days left to die.. minus of all wkends.. 5 days. ahha.

hmmm.. 2mths w/o bowling.. seem to be gd for me. whahah. shocking. ya. avg now i guess improved by 30 odd pins compared to b div. whaha. this is based on synthetic lanes... wooden lanes... hoho. nxt whole wk.. coaches aren't free.. the wk after.. tournament. so its like dead... only 2 offical trng.. to prepare for NAG. gd. aha. our teams.. confirm confirmed liao..even got team names..sam's team, yuru, lyn, sam and shu, is called Simple in virtue.... my team, reggie, me, fafa, zen, is call Steadfast in duty.... haha. so its like our sch motto.. simple in virtue, steadfast in duty.. coz its better to come up wif a name associated wif our sch. so ya... ijtp also same. ahaaha.. but we is we.. hmm. grammatical. anyways... goona chiong for bowling all the way. ahha. only chance to do sch proud this yr... if win this nag.. siaow liao. aha. crossed our fingers... no no no no reverse!!!!.. ahha.
as for sc wrk.. i passed all sub so far!!.. excluding elec geog and eng coz tchr haven give back yet.... goash k..its really shocking that i passed physics and chemistry... coz chem is like very difficult. ahaa.. but passed by 2 marks... physics... is i never never pass b4. wahha. then passed during mye.. haha.. really glad.. thank God man.. really thank God for this wonderful surprise.

com spoilt after exams... during exams very gd.. haiz. haha. today reformat everyhting.. then alll my pics, folders all gone.. argh.. music also. arghhhh.. okok. forget it.. oh well. ytd. was marking day.. went cycling wif kazan, zen and regina. ahhaa. soooo fun.. then got burnt... went to the psl bbq also for fun..... ahah. then today went to sch.. phototaking.. lucky the burnt effect haven start yet... then alot of ppl who was at ecp ytd ask me ur bf ar?.. kaoz.. haha. me? bf? funnny lar.. ahhaha. yar.. reputation ruined. wahhaha. sound so serious.. oh well..
today got back my scripts... i passed CHINESE whahahaha.. .i never study. as in seriously.. coz got bio nxt day. wahhahaha.. shiook man,,, e maths was shit.. 57. waha. mama's like angry..sooooooooooo many careless mistakes. so inevitable lors.. surprisingly.. i got like higher for A maths.. ahhaa. faints. higher than e maths. wahaha. i minus around 20 over marks fot either copying the question wrongly or write wrongly... basically juz careless... argh.. can die lor.. if i dunno.. its ok... but its i know and carelesss! press calculator also can press wrong. wahaha. yup.
today phototaking was haywire... our class no style.. haiz.. wasted.. then for bowling.. so many ppl didn't bring their uni... communication breakdown.. i think seriously lar.. bowling committee dun see, soo efficient.. including me lor.. like soooooo busy to have meetings.. tml have trng.. then also got prefects meeting... so i missing prefects meeting coz tournament is sooooooo darn near. 31st may.. ahaha. national age group.. confirm liao... today our first trng.. alll cannot bowl sia. whaha..damn angry k... i clean game all the way till about 6-7 frame then time out liao... argh.. 114 on 6 frame? ahahaa.. 2 months no bowling. hahaha. anext whole wk no trng coz coaches all on course... so kc is left to die alone.. to train ourselves lor. haiz.. today uncle jack confirmed the teams liao... squad B under 17. susidising by sch!! all of us!! $200 each.. thanks kc. whhahha. wad....line up should be.. regina, me, fafa and zen // yuru, lyn, sam, shu... yar. i cannot play bowling...as in play the play... must chiong liao.. soooo scared. ahha. pls no no no reverse.. hahhaa.
fri gonna make white u.. the prefects thing..!!. hahah. yay.. happy.. but must pay alot lor.. haiz.. really broke.. there goes money happily flying liao. =l..
anyways.. gonna train hard liao.. studies put aside for awhile.. then the rest chiong ar. ahhaa. okok.. go liao. bye ar

exam is over... 9+1 sub... like marathon k.. almost gave up.. first day.. chem and lit.... chem paper canot do.. lit no time to finish. nose bled some more.. kao.. siaow iao. hahha.. then tues. was e maths... and u know wad...mon, my calculator droped and spolt. steady ar.. then me any yuan ting spent 5h seraching for calculator..we were at the air port. then we anyhow go ask engineers in shift 'C' for screw drivers. then they helped to fix.. but they say canot be repaired... so ya.. so yuan go pp to buy a new calculator for herself.. and lend it to me.. =)emaths paper... paper1 was sooooo easy.. finished in like 1/2 h.. then i old sara.. paper 2 sur cannot do one. ahaa. then paper 2 come.... seriously cannot do... haiz. gonna fail again. wed... the most chiong papers... chinese and bio..chinese first. then i diidn't for study the paper at all. was spening my time on bio. then so many duno how to do... during the paper.. felt so sickk... ans slept somemore. mrs lim woke me up. hahahha. but tis a sure fail thing... then bio.. was easy.. study so hard for nothign lor.. haiz.. thursday was elect geog.. was an easy paper... but i screwed up... coz our txtbk is sooo not organieesed lar.. then cannot realy organisly... haha. so all mixed up.. then fri is physics. wahhaha. sure fail. duno wad the question toking about.. then later chinese oral.. even best. say one line teacher dun want me to say anymorre. saturday,.. a maths. whahhaha. peggy finished the paper in 1h!!!... cannot believe sia. was struggling. then whole day so zombified. then exams are over.
wahha. must buck up liaos lor... its like i'm sure gonna get last again. haiz. after exams.. went for dance.. and met zen. go walk walk and get cd.. after that.. meet my mum at pp to go for dinner.. bought a top at addidas. wahha. swear that we're gonna be broke.
haiz... life's becoming turft.. wad additional nose bleed evry single day till now.... tissue has become an inportant factor in my life. wahahaa. june holis damn packed. national age group, church camp, 2 bowling bbqs, church fun fair....etc.. then i owe soooo many ppl dates. hahaa. dying.. then its like... hw. and also.. have to catch up wif sch work and bowling.. later going bowling wif sam at tamoines. aghahaa. 2 pure months nver bowl... doubt that i can even carry the ball.. oh well..
now for thx u speech. whaah.. firstly.. thank u to sara, yuan ting, geraldyne for toleratig my nonsense during exam period. whhahaa. and gloria, farhana. whhhah.. must thank sara espically leh.. evry day.. we spent like 12hs over together stdying. whahaha. and thanks to gary. wahha.. evverytime i duno something. i call him.. then he'll be like reciting the whole tcxt bk.... w/o a txbk infront of him. wahha. siaow ar.. then have to tolerate my stoopdity. wahha. yar. and thank all those nice ppl out there who sms me. yar. i gtg now. in a hurry... mama angry liao. ahha. bye

screwed. damn mad. argh, wanna end it all..
friday.. yesterday...felt so betrayed by kc sec 3 bowlers. every single one of them... excluding shuneng, regina?.. yar. crap. its not u guys lar.. its juz me.. argh.........anyways... gd news.. mr lim say that bowling camp changed to the 15-17.. yay... therefore... able to go for church camp, but missing tioman trip,,.. anyways. he say we having this sec sch league at katong shopping centre. the 1st one ever. hopefully.. my only chance to win an indiviual, not team... wadeva k. serious. wadeva. next.. he also say,.. the 8 sec 3 bowlers will be playing in the national age group compeition on the 31-6 june.. that's like after exam. i haven been bowling for 2 straight months and now.. a big tournament? $200 per person. sch subdising all...gd.. thus, missing all the science enrichments and stuff.....blech...this is my only chance. i wanna reallly pray that no more reverse oiling. i swear that i'm gonna die. okk. skip all the crap. so later.. in class. after that short meeting by mr lim... i felt so distracted, upset, crossed.. i duno lar, it's juz mixed feelings. happy and sad. angry and forgiving. hmm. for the whole crap day. during chem. needed to go to the toilet to wash my face. felt reallyy terriblle. never got so affected by friends b4... so i asked mrs koh..."mrs koh... may i go to the toilet"... "NO!"... fine.. i waited.. coz she wanted us to discuss smth... them later... i was discussing.. then had some gd points... wanted to join the presentation on the 4-5 of june.. however,... sooon realised that i can't coz of bowling... so forget it. much long later.. asked her again... she say "NO!".. then i was like "fine la.. wadeva.." and she saw it as a point shooting at her.. and said.. "Marian!.. u want to go.. go lar.. ".. then i was walking back to my seat, not loooking at her.. and she yellled again.."where are u gg? u want to go right?" then i sad. "yar lar." ..."marian. answer me properly.. look at me as say yes.don't say ya".. i was like.. wad u want. i realy cannot tahan... all the stress from class.. betrayals.. 2-faced, acusation, expectations, life. was really at the end. so i cry lar.. crap. then later she damn funny lar. when she was teaching half-way.... as in half way... "so u see the bonds are...Marian! i ask u ar. why are u crying? issit because i dun let u go toilet?"..... piang.... then the whole class turned and look at me.. coz i was sitting at the back lar.. . so i was laughing... and crying.. basically,,.. laughing to end that cloud around her lar.. forced it out. big massive laughter from me that made the class laugh. gd. no one knows. nat, joan and sara.. reallly nice ppl.. joan is like really a gd peer mediator... live up to her name as a perr mediator and peer support leader. bah. whole day felt so crapped. duno lar. really felt so weak.... lost all that independance and confidence in myself.. did everything in a fit of anger.
so after sch.. went to study. had to. had ss and cl paper 1 today. really thanked sara for her positiveness, patience and geraldyne for company. went home. brain dead.
today morning. could not get up. took cl paper 1 in class. and confident that i'm not gonna do welll.. ss in the hall... weather:humid, stuffy, hot, cramped.... was falling asleep. wasted time in Q1a... coz i tot the back ground info was source A.. realised that only after 15-20 mins. crap. no time to do last 2 Q... worth 12, 13 marks.. and therefore. wrote crap and all crap. after the paper... went to study wif geraldyne, gloria and yuan ting. 2.30 - 630.. for 4h... i did nothign. absoultely nothing. only attempted answering chem questions by geraldyne and gloria. 1st time in my life, studied at my lao di fang.. and did not study ANYTHING... mon is chem and lit. haven started on lit.. chap 2 on chem.. also... chem for mye is like chapt 1-7, and chpt 10. really worried, today b4 the cl pap 1... almost cried coz of anxiety and stress. serious. marian has never been so weak sooo emmotionally b4.. not say that i very strong lar.. but the feeling i had ytd.. was close to the one i had when my dad passed away lar. heart was physically in pain. felt something in my chest and really wanted to run. literally run. to the city. haha. duno why also. it was painful.. but then.. dad leaving me is the most horribliest thing in my life so far. nothing can beat that. though of him ytd during class again. bah.
today. 4h wasted. plan to slp after this,. till 10... so that my brain can rest.. then wake up, eat dinner and then study till i cannot make it. wanna thank gary today, haha. sound so profound in the phone. haha. he helped me alot in chem. and he did not have his txtbk wif him when he was -teaching-.. kinda honoured to have such a friend. haha. personal teacher. i am really really very worried for exams. very afriaid. i duno y. last time used to love exams.. in primary sch. looking forward to every tests, exams and esp. the returning of results. never now. haiz. stop here.

I'M DEAF!!!
i soooo dead.. ahaa. for 2 consecutive days, i woke up late. tue woke up at 7am... wow.. left the house at 705...then took a cab to sch and reached sch at 715... goash. i was freaked out by the time from i lwoke up to go sch.. kao. i didn't hear the alarm clock.. plus.. i even had extra morning calls from sara.. argh..
i aways wake up at 5.37am lar.. so i can dily-daeily-take-my-time to happily catch the 6.26am bus wif all the regulars....... nbut i did not follow my schedule... why?. coz i cannot hear the feakin loud alarm clock. argh.
today.. even best...did not hear the alarm clock again... again... my door was open,... then my mama's room door was closed lar..... and amazingly.. she heard it. heard it rang. even said it was loud, when i did not hear anything. piang.. and she happily went back to slp.. until 630 am.. she woke me up.. then i left the house at 645... reached sch at 712, catching a crowded 196 at 655am//.. bah!. wads wif me.. stoopid ringing sound also cannot hear.. oh ya.. and u know wad... sara even called my 7 times at night.... to wake me up to study.. consistantly... with ringing volume at level 5, a high screeching pitch of the ring tone of a nokia 6510, i could NOT hear it when it ringed 7 times. kills me. beats me.
haha.. i sound soooo uptight about it... no lar.. as in like.. i feel that time is damn impt now lar.. i really got not much time left to hurry study,.. 9 sub is really killing me.. if i split elect, it becomes a 10 sub thing.. arghhh...
okok. these few days.. really been blessed wif many friends.. who msged me.. shaun... never fails to msg me like 2 to about 5 swt little msges daily.. really touched by his happinesss despite his condition. he is really a living testimonial. i really dun want him to go. i really hope for a miracle for him. haiz.really a bright 11 yr old kid. wanna see him grow up..
another guy is my brother. haha. supposedly my little brother from church.. he practically msg the whole church.. and brightens everyone. ahaa. wonder wad is his phone bills man. bah.. any many other touching friends who motivates me to go on thanks k.. serious. but then try to save money ya?.. dun waste parent's money. =).. if i dun reply msgs. its basicaly to save my bill... wanna change my plan soon....

to uncle-father-leader-vs :( i try to protect ur name for this k..) .. hey..aahha.. . peace to u k.. i hope that u'ld really focus in ur studies.. dun think so much k.... serious.. pirotise ur time,..will power.. aiya.. u got the discipline one lar.. its juz tt there's to many distractions around. i really do hope to see u do well in ur mye.. esp,. now in sec 4.. u told me to like set ur results as my aims rmbr, bhb-boy? haha.. jkjk.. if u dun do well... then i how? whhaaa.. anyways.. really bz now. no time to play games. whhaa. do focus k. do well in ur myes. smiles. =D

haha.. can't believe marian can say such things right. hahaa. no lar. very tired now. hw piling up and up. i wanna get smarter and all-knowing.. i want to change the teacher's perspective of me in a gd way by producing results. and not like some ppl who really do the-bootlicking-thing in class.. argh. it irritates me. ahhaha. shall not elaborate. end. i am gg to prove to teachers.. esp. mrs. lim that i'm not that bad. whahhaa. physics is currently my worst science sub now...as in among the sciences.. bah. wanna show mr pang and mr lim.. the maths men that i can win. wahha. wad. okok. i go liao. still in smelly uniform .whaa.a

this is really bad.. 6h wasted on mourning and complaining that nothing's getting in.. crap. felt like giving up sia. hahaa. no!.. argh.
seriously speaking.. i'm worried. i cannot afford to loose this time lor. i want mind.. ahaa. i need to really absorb.. i got the discipline to sit and study lar.. *coughs out aloud*.. but then.. no mood.. nothign gets in. tired easily. irritaed easily. blech. realised that when there's geraldyne.. cannot really concentrate.. sara not so bad. haha.. i prefer alone leh.. 5 productive hours is betther than 12 non-productive hrs. haha. this is bad. so much time. nothing goes in. bad bad bad
mrs lim is a nice teacher lar. aaha. at least when she teach, i understanf abit. however,, hahaa. she still picks on me. EVERY singale lesson since day 2. not that i'm exaggerating or wad.. but ya.. i can even predict when she going to call me.. "marian poooooooon"... blechs. wad only.. well.. at least it motivates me to pay attention though i still get drifted away... feel so hated so teachers



read this.. (by marian, sara, geraldyne..)
* H, He, Li, Be, B, C, N, O, F, Ne, Na, Mg, Al, Si, P, S, Cl, Ar, K, Ca
Haaaahahaa (hydrogen).......... Help!(helium)
Little (litnum) Beby (be__??) Bee (boron) Can(carbon) Never (nitrogen) Opens(Oxygen) Fire (Flourine) Near(Neon)
Na (sodium), Mg (magnesium) Aille [our pronounciation](aluminium) -full.stop- [end at (aluminium) coz e divison of metals...) then...SIlly(silicion) Poon(phosphrous) Sells (sulphur) Cholrine At (argon)
Katong (potassium) Convent (calcium)

hmm... today after sch.. went to study.. alone. awhwahha.. fun... and then... after 5hrs on precise-indepth-studies on social studies chapter... i called sara and she tell me chapter one not tested.. 5h wasted.. pig man..grrr,,.. argh. angry. all that time wasted... 8-2 more days left... haven started on the rest. oh wells. dad waiting for me. ahaa. choy choy. no lar. jk. =D. i go liao. bye

today was ballet exam. left sch at 845am and came back at 1250 juz for maths supplementary,.. nice right. ahhaha.. hmm. kinda screwed up.. duno where i was running to... music was erm.. fast. too fast. examinar was crappy, talks to herself, tells stories and like take soo long to write her comments.. i think we stand longer then dance lor. somemore she now happy coz no opposition for dance, only original.. yar.. so its like screwed. ahha. but however.. i think this is much better that grade 5.. ahha. coz that yr.. 3 failed 1 pass. and the pass is lik 50%.haha. my group. mbad pianist, bad students. haha. could die. ahaha. i really hope to get a distinction. =D. ahha. oks. bye now. tml will be the day i start mugging. hopefullyy.. these few days really tired to tok online. oh wells. bye now.

juz came home from sch.. i feel really stink and smelly and dirty. ahhaha... today cleaned classroom.. mass cleaning again.. me, mel, lizy, sara, natasha and geraldyne....... abby and steph left early. ahaha. its the mass cleaning thing again. aahaha. its a carry-on rather. a follow-up. hahaha. i love that long window wipper. ahaha. i used that since sec 1... aw... i feel attached to that thing. wahaha. go feelings for it liao. haha. then we even put the "cleaning in progess" sign. ahaha. mr jurimy was like..'whoa...so hardworking ar..'.. ahaha.. wasted.pang didn't see... mrs lim got see. ahaha. se was impressed by the cleaniness of the floor and blackboard.. goash. haha. i'm not exaggerating if i say its really spick and span and sqeeaky clean lor. ahaha... then really cleaned the class as in pour the water ... pour.. hahah. then the little drain outside our classs got alot of sediments and dust.. i tink kenna clogged up liao. =). ahhaha. i love it. but very tiring.. i was really afraid that my feet soaked in water... then blister ad cut.. somemore tml ballet exam.. goash.. i'm like already starting to freak out in class. ahaha. tml.. big day man.. leaving sch at 845. ahha. for ballet exam.. i really do hope that i dun screw up.. last yr my whole gr did.. practically out of 4..only 1 passed.. ahha. and like 50%.. ahha. i really do hope i get distinction.. maybe 80%> ahaa. hopes. but i can't even rmbr the steps.. die. aahaa. ookok.. prays that will not have and muscle ache or discomfort tml.. big day. haha. after 2 yrs man. ahahaa. freed.. okok. after tt.. gg to bank to some admin stuff... then go cut hair... yays!.. haha. can't wait man. hahah. okok. yup. today is really a gd day. coz i bonded wif friends and God. =)

juz came back... today whole sch kenna "retrenched".... haha. coz today alot of ppl carry boxes of books home.. like those that kenna retrenched like that. coz tml is exam then all have to bring back bks..ahha. then i was one of them.. carried boxes and bags of bks home. was slogging back... came home.. literally let go all my stuff.. immediately go shower. haha. plus... it was raining. hahaa. looked so homeless and pathetic walking aimlessly in the rain. haha. weighed the bks that i carried in hand.... 10.0kg.. hahaa... EXCLUDING my sch bag. ahha.10.0kg is like = 22lbs (pounds) = 2 11lbs bowling balls. haha. goash.. i carried my bowling bag home.. in hand.!. ahaa. lame lar..but yeah.. thank God that i didn't died and for providing strength to walk up flights of stairs. ahaaha. okok.. yup. today i sch. i paid FULL attention!.ahhaa. really proud of myself. i hope i like that forever. oh well... i'll still try not to come online often... so guys. try not to send big big emails which takes up alot of space..coz that wil prevent impt emails from coming in. thanks ar.ahahha. after exams... u all may continue to flood like now. =). ahha. ok. shall go and update the photos. =D

ytd was emdd. haa., did duty.. from 12-10... was very fun though. got to know the prefects bettter. ahha. coz there was this neritta's show going on. ahaa. damn comical. ok. lets start.
[scene-1]
in the morning. alot ppl not here. haha. the class i was in charge of, only have 6 ppl lining up.. 1 was doing flag raising. haa. so i was like.. erm. haha. "pull ur ur socks?".. ahaha. felt wierd. then whole day very funny. mr pang wore black shirt (round neck).. and black pants. ahaha. alot pl say he look like burgular or robber. haha. with additional to his black brief case. ahaahhah....
[scene-2]
then later. all of us who was on duty went to change. ahha. i changed in class.. coz of laziness. then later... went downstairs to wait fo the bus. i looked tall!. aha.
[scence-3]
we alighted the bus... and our dear shuhua spotted a sign.. which was printed wif gramittical errors.

so we took a photo wif it. ahhahaa. later.. we put our things in the dressing room for the ava. and had a short briefing.. and later.. went t see the ppl acting. saw alot of bargirls. haha. coz there were bargirls in the show.
[scene-4]
kcp was here. we started our duty. aha. went kinda empty.. the 2.30pm show so all the prefects go and sit and watch. aaaha. the show is really good. shangri aka wanye the taxi driver, was very comical. ahhaa. chantel was good. the bargirls was good. the dancers were fantastic. ahha. the night show ppl loved it . co was good too. haha.
[scene-5]
show was over. we had to eat dinner at 4.30pm so we did.haha. the food was really healthy, less salt, less oil... but tasted okok lar. ahhaha. felt very contented wof my food. but was alot. so i didn;t finish. then its our free time.. joan had very little free time... so we go to a toilet, in a cubical, to take photo... aaha. funny k....
..
then took more photos...



... and me, nat and shuhua went to take more comical photos wif raffles.



and more photos...

nat is comical. hahaa.
(more photos click. http://community.webshots.com/user/x_murex_x
[scence-6]
the night show was approaching.. everyone was excitied. coz it was more formal and more ppl... full house i guess. haha. audienced loved the bar scence, and wayne the taxi driver. haaha. andrew, alexi, joel came. ahaha. joel had nice hair.. then when i was doing duty.. they approached me for their tickets. hahaa. i felt reallly embarrassed.,, ahha. coz 3 guys wif me... then like.. prefect... so i told them to go away from me. aha. and ya. felt that the sch's reputation was at stake. later,.. forgotten of my rules, msged my friend.... aha. then like felt not good so i stopped. ahaa.. piag i felt so defience. aaha.lucky got one prefect remind me.. if not. haa. during the show, we were standing.. heels killed me wif blisters. haha. but yeah. the night show was more whoa. then the afternoon. i duno why........ but maybe its the ambience?ook. then later... the guests and vips went for reception.... then everything was over.
[scene-7]
didn't follow the bus back to sch... went wif alexi, andrew and darryl,... erm. like abit pangse joel and co. but ya... marianne and co. was supposed to meet us then later nv. haiz.. then went to lao pa sat for awhlie and went home...
[scene-8]
mama said she got prompt by dad to come to the mrt station to walk wif me home... she said that dad out of a suddenly made the house black out. hahaa... so she went down, and even bought food from mac... fish burger.. was the last burger somemore....coz it was like 12mn liao.. then legs were quite spoilt. ahha.went home, dropped dead. went to bathe, wanted to play the com.. but no energy.. haa.coz wanated to do teh phots by yrd. so today can study.. then slpt till 12 like that. long time nv sleep so soundly..
[scence-9]
woke up, it was raining. ahaa. yes. raining. was happy. ahaha. felt to mary turner.

this is this yr's emdd... a memorial one for me as it was my first time doing duty.excitied and i really hope to do this next yr again. very fun!!. ahaa. wanna thank all the performers for putting in so much time and energy....... and the sch for the money. no forgetting to ppl who guided and instructed them.. and esp noorlina who was the director of the whole thing. wanna thank God for gd weather and gd response to the night show.

dead tired. shall blog tml

this sat got end EXAM,..... next wk, ballet EXAM, next next wk, mid year EXAM!!! argh.. ahaha. i think i've been very slack while jin sheng is becoming more and more hardworing. ahhaa. like swopped like that. ahha. with one common goal---SAJC. ahhahaa. i wanna go there study.. coz its near my church. hahaha..shucks eh./.. haven started studying for mid-year.doubt tt i can make it.. but seriously.. i wanna prove to all the JL that i can do it!. ahaha. including mr pang.. i wanna pass my A maths to shock him. ahhaa.
emdd's is tml and wed!!!!!!!!!.. fast ar.. hmm.. can't wait to see ppl. haha. acutally.. i do duty hor.. not really looking forward to watch emmd performing while doing duty.. more of looking at guests, jeep smiling, stay cheerful, and look at how ppl dress formally.. ahahaha . must sit and watch the full show then shiok. ahha.
oh wells.. i'm certified as a computer hooker.. i cannot cannot go on like this sia.. wasting precious timew.hahaha. all of u out there: ..try no to make me go online k. ahaha... now stucked onto it liao.
haiz. miss bowling. after mye.. gonna bowl like mad,,.. prepare to conquer nxt b div..ahaha. we learn from our failures.. let this yr be an experience and next yr a challenge. whoa. ahha. ok lar. zhao liaos. bye

hmm.. i wanna thank God... coz i'm not feeling soooo tired liao....but still tired. ahaa. thank God for the break. thank God for teachers... ppl who mould me.. whoa... big wor. whahhaa ..ok. thank God for church. pastor, and friends,. thank God for family, repairmen, roadsweepers, tele operator.. =). ahha i'm mad. oh wel. thank God for the world

hmms. i've not being doing wad i should do.. for example... gg home to do hw?... instead, i sleep... till 8-9.. dinner time.. then later at 10 onwards do hw.. kinda sux lar.... coz basically.. the exams are like next wk sat liao..... and here i am... struggling to finish hw and not even preparing to study. wow.. i slp sooo easily. haiz.
mum's been nagging. been really stressed liao.. from sch.. and like she constantly, consistently nags....... and later.. she tok tok tok... she gets angry herself..... wad.. so its like i really want her to shut up lar k. its too much... come home.. " ah girl ar... when ur exams... u have to start studying..i see u nv study.. play the com... i cut... ".......... blah blah blha...... piang.. i know that lor.. i'm trying hard liao.. wad can i do if i feel so tired easily when im not doing things.
to add on... my com is like haywire now. internet got some virus, monitor spoilt, wif cpu.. so now i using my sis one coz my dad's one is like also spoil.. haiz. marian is getting slack now..

hmmm. ok. these few days have been meeting my go-to-sch kakee at my block down stairs.. aha. dun really know her well.. but aiya... same neighnour hood...... so go to schj together. ahha. she from sam's class.. ok anyways.. these few days.. the bus always come at 6.27am.. argh... usually is ar 620am k.. make me wait so long. ahha. last time go interchange,immediately got bus. haha. so shiok. yup.. so anyways.. it was always the some ol double deck..and the tv mobile always show a jap cartoon in the morning.. then have the theme song. ahaa. this gary s so obsessed wif it that he even downloaded the music. ahha. and even sent to me!.. ahha. piang.. was laughing throughout.. hmm. then however, last wed,.. ytd.. went up the bus. no tv!. wah.. aha. bad omen.. literature-wise, its called foreshadowing.. wah.. big word ar. wahha. so yar.. then later.. the bus broke down!. wahhahahhaa.. and u know wad... broke down outside my sch... forst no motor sound.. some1 smelt of burnt again. yar. then no lights.. then the lights went back again and we were asked to alight the bus. ahahha... sound so trapped-in-the-lift. whwahhaa. then ya. outside my sch... so didn't make a big difference... juz walked in.. ahha. just like takign 197.. no diff.. but was fun. yup
ok.. today is ss test... gonna flunk it even though its source based....... didn't add.. contextual knowledge ahaha. whoa.. so yar.. not gg to score well. today pang asked me to keep quiet in class. ahhaa. damn amusing k..kept laughing.. oh wells, at least he warn me that i've hit the max. aww. ahahah. then a maths is like i so dun how to do.. gasp... today also.. during bio period, went to tjc to sell emdd tickets wif aliya.. kao...nobody bought.. 0.. zero. wasted trip.. me and aliya went round the whole canteen to sell during their lunch time.. some was nice.. some was like " no. not interested". ahaha. but was ok lar.. then some even better.. after we left a table and went to the next... one was like "sooo cute.. ahhaa. aiyo..".. then we felt like..errrrrr..... okok.. embarassed k.. so we went back to sch empty handed and feeling very bad. skipped CME. (mrs lim was probably doing physics. duh).......then came back during chemisty.. ahha. they all dong experiment.. so fun.. sopper oxide + sulphuric acid to form copper sulphate.. fun. nice blue!. haa. okok.
emdd is coming.. can't wait. ahha. wanna see ppl.. yay. ushering.. yar.. pri sch friends.. coming.. andrew, alexi.. andrew say a darryl person coming.. ahha. and claims tt he knows me.. hmm.. suspicious.. anywyas. ahwahhaa.. can't wait to get that habit of smiling at an unknown stranger. =). there was one time.. after i did cip... ahha. when at the bus stop after my cip, i forgot and happily greeted a woman for no particular reason.. kao.. damn paiseh. ahhaa.. embarrassed.. blech,.. today got a set of white u from sara and blazier and tie from prefects. aha. can't wait to do this duty. wahaha. try and bring sch reputitaion up up up. =D.. wa. haah. okok. yar.
once again. i'm juz happy to have many friends. ahaah. btw. these few days.. have been smelling my dad's icu ward again.. at the bus stop, in the bus,., everywhere.. aha. freaky kays. its been for 2 months liao.. i smelt it during singles and quartet first day too.. aahhaa... eee.. its smeely leh. ahaa. actually..was thinking, was if dad is back. as in.. in human form. ahaa. goash. *speechless. anyways. take care al u peeps// =)
btw. toked to some friends from pri sch, and other sec sch ppl... we said hi. then asked each other how are u. all one common reply lehs.. " so stress man.. so little time.. ".. wah. i gues. i'm not the only one. hmm. think positively man... it really helps... =). continue to pray for singapore kids ar.. those reading this. ahha. thnkas

today, after sch, did physics experiment. haha. totally haywire, oh well. ahha. i'm guai. aah. right. ok. today. the sch team ppl, lim, sheku and coaches.. had dinner.. supposedly at geleria but changed to pizza hut. ahaa. lim paid again.. $241.. ahaha. i kinda of feel that smth has made him changed all of a sudden. i think he's really into giving and not recieving. haha. yup. evelyn jie is very chio today. aha. then way she sits on a chair infront of a table look so innocent and sweet. aha. uncle jack keeps smiling all day long.. haa. aunty elena is chio today, was taking care of her kids. haha. our table, fafa, lyn, me, regina, zen, steph, shu and farah.. aha. big feast. loads of food. alot. one or the rare occasions i eat out wif friends... ahah. today is the first time, after sch, i go home to get changed and go out have dinner wif friends. haa.guai right.. mama trained one. ahha. if dun go home, feel really uneasy.. cca/ sch activities exceptin lar. haha.
morning, recieved another instant msg.. haha. jawn really a light sleeper.. ahha. very touching and caring..... *touched* thanks man..
today, i feel blessed to have nice friends who are caring and a very sweet teacher, gd and friendly coaches. i lover sch and friends. ahha. serious. i duno wad has gotten over me today.. aha. perhaps i juz looked at the positive outlook of things. dun dwell. dun bottle. i want to thank God for giving me this life. thank God for family and friends. but then right.. can dun take away ppl so easily? cannot tahan.. haha. thanks ar.. hahha. goash. i'm mad. =)... =D

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.... i want so scream everthing out k lar.. argh. damn. i hate this very day... bad enough... shal type both gd and bad.
firstly.. physics. while doing ecxperiment...she came up to me and said.. "marian, just to let u know... wif effect of today, u are no longer the physics rep.. samantha lee will take over. so u dun have to collect anything.."...... thiis exactly wad she said. word for word... piang... wad i do man.. i felt damn demoralised.. beatened lar/.. ok.. another one is mr. lim.. he was like saying that he wanted to see me regarding maths... then its like.. obviously coz of my bad bad results lar.. and also... there was once he said that if i cannot cope, i can always drop being a captain.... give all the work to samantha liew.. and concentrate on ur studies.... (wads wif all the lim teachers and samanthas????).. back to mrs lim... aka. form teacher who is forever picking on me eeven if i'm wide awake and paying full attention, she spoke to me juz last month..she gave me a vrey extremely obvious hint saying that i can always quit being a prefect u know.. i'm like....... wad. so ok.. u want me to lar??
wads wif all the damn teachers and doubting my capability.. and to add on further more... today after geog, 1 committee from bowling whom i dun wish to name... and i was walking back to class together... she asked so how's this fri bbq... and "why dun we have a meeting again?"... ok.. first, its wasn't said nicely.. to me, it was offensive.. perhaps its due to the morning's physics....then she was like.. telling me that it wasn't planned when WE, as a committee, planned together. i even SUGGESTED PERSONALLY to each committee who was willing to volunteer to plan lar.. ok fine.. so wad.. i'm the captain.. so EVERYTHING I MUST DO LAR?? COM. DUN NEED....right.. so on that meeting day.. no one wanted to. so we had a brief planning coz lots of com. are dying to end the meeting to go bowling.. and now she come tell me, "u want this fri's bbq to flop issit???" (word for word)....piang.. i'm here.. like trying hard my best liao.. u as a com dun do anything... say say say.. and dun do. wads this? hello.. i dun have the world's time at my hands. so i said in a fit of anger lar.. "ok lor.. since all of ur jestures suggest this way, flop then flop lor..." then she asked me if we can have a meeting this wed... so i said.. "gd.. and wad.. the meeting will onlyy comprises of me, u and sam lar? gd.. i tell u.. no one will come one." she said " u never ask how u know?".. "fine lar.. u go ask... on that very day.. alot of ppl sure suddenly have trng, or get sick one"... then i stomped back into my classroom, dumped everything on the table and cried all out.... bbq pit not booked, preparations not done.. everything not confirmed. fri's it. today is mon..as for the past 3 meetings..call them meet together,.. then in the end,. alot ppl fell sick and HAD to go home lar.. until lim sort of 'scolded' that the com. members only turn up for trng and heck about meeting and did not see the importance. pls. can u all be realistic abit. u all are not ordinary sec 3s. all of u are given a responsibilty..
now.. i'm so much admin stuff pilled up... (its not that lim call me do lar.. its coz its really not organised, and nothing in the profile lists, which i need to give to the coaches or lim lar ), tests tml, loads of hw not done.
wow. i love myself.simply love the way i am. sheesh... i'm starting to doubt myself. k.. no.. i've already doubted myself... many ppl indirectly point out tt i'm irresponsible and not capable. ok. so wad.. i juz feel like shouting to all the teachers that i juz want to be an ordinary pupil, w/o a cca.. who goes home everyday to study. i heck lar. i tot that all this will juz be a challenge in my life and smth to booast me on to go to sch wif a positive out look. is this really me?
okok. enough said...

positve things happened. joan, my touching angel, gave me a bag of snacks, sara and gel gave me an east egg each.. aww. thanks man.. and alot of ppl gave me chocolates. i thanks guys. they kind of motivatied me in a way or two espically sara, and joan. aha. ge and lizzy abit lar. haha. =). i wanna thanks these ppl .. and today.. recieved 5 gd morning msges from diff ppl... its abit different lar.. and i really want to thank these ppl who help start my day. also wanna thank gary for helping me in chem.. w/o him.. i'll definitely get all wrong for the ws.. today while i was to screwed up, with my head on the table, looking down at my skirt.. started thinking of his msgs.. ahha. dun get the wrong idea.. he's just a very nice mentor, friend and role model to me.. he ar. takes pride in wad he does and does it to the excellence.. so.. i shall juz look up to him, and learn from his attitude. he has loads of resonsibilites too... how the hell he managed?? wif addition to his o levels this yr. ahha. so i started to console myself.. he has a small bowling team, with lesser expectations as compared to us, and that erm... aha. erm.. he.is a guy. wag.. haha. gd excuses lar marian,. also though of Jesus Christ who died on the cross. wad i'm experiencing now is juz a dot of his sufferings.

haiz. today..i had breathing difficulties again, during lessons.. and had no energy to carry myself during maths and geog. can juz faint there w/o ppl knowing lor. lifeless.. teachers hates me. teacherssssssss. i shall juz shut up in class... be a loner, and sit up straight, do my wrk and act guai whole day long. pang will definitely get suspicious. heck. gonna control myself to who i dun wan to be- someone, whom teachers want me to be. trapped in a box, with additional ppl stabbing swords through it.. remote controllers pointing to me everywhere. i'm stuck. and there's no dad to relieve that tension. i want dad back. seriously... i'm still empty.

hmmm.. today is gd friday.. the death of Jesus Christ. =/... today i wore red to church. whaha. forgot.. then malu-ated myself.. but anywyas.. today is one of the rare sermons that i was realy enthu in listening and learning.. was even copying notes. whhaha. didn't sleep somemore. =). yay..haa.. later went to celebrate lynette's birthday.. was a surprise.. and had gd food. wahha.. then went back to ah hood. supposedly to watch the Passion n Dennis' room.. but coz they had a roller-blading 'outin...together wif shaun and many others. so no time.. i didn't go coz i was tired, had wrk, but in the end, i went home.. then went to bowl with sam. her kind dad sent me home again. =)
today i learned many things. from the sermon... about healing and stuff. and one more thing which really helps me alot. shuan, the 10-11 yr old boy, is really an encouragement.. yar.. as i've said b4, he has brain tumour and has only one yr to live..so i asked him today.... coz he met us at church and was really excited to go blading wif them. 'hey shuan.. how ar u.'.. (coz i heard that on thurs he had a relapse- a damn painful headache) and was admitted to hospital... he was like.. " erm. its ok. this morning i vomitted and had a very painful headache, now ok already". [words exactly lifted from wad he said].. then later he started laughing and continue to tok alot to the group of us.. i felt really ~whoa~.. cozhe's really optimistic,,,and really cheerful... he's juz so normal, ordinary, bright, clever, fun, cool and cheerful. he never fails to put on a smile. i'm really encouraged by him. i juz dun understand y he is sooooooooooooooooo soooooooooooo soooooooooooooooo smiley and bubbily, i really do hope that a miravle happen ad that he is able to live till ripe and old. i wanna see this child grow up as a fine man.. then its like... we, normal, healthy teenagers, falls easily due to a little setback and thinks of only the negative side of it. i really hope that God will be very real and work in shaun's life. thanks

wheee.. i think quite a successful day for me.. first.. in chrono order,.. had a maths ca2. whahha. although i'm confident that i'd fail... but i was really very happyy wof myself.. felt that i had made an achievement. ahha. coz firstly, i knew how to do questions i though i wun.. aha. only not enough time.. really happy. ahha. yup. then later. had com meeting.... was really nice to see committee members not in proper position.. but anyways.. did get wrk done.. then was bowlin.. ahhah. my last time bowling till mid year exams unless i go bowl elsewhere wif friends.. ahha. hope not... and later.. after the we bowled. i felt so captainy.. ahaha. k. was lecturing the sec 1,2 about their bowling attitude, passion, plans, goals, situation, discipline and etc.. waha. told them that it would only be for 10-20 mins. but lasted for 40 over mins!!!. didn't know got so many things to tok and explain... yup.. sam also helped out. but ya... i dun think i was firm and fierce enough.. oh well... but it was an experience.. learned that when u tok, cannot so sian.. must act act, crack jokes, firm at times, angry at times, and share experiences.whaha.. steady ar. aaha. bhb. but i seriously hope that the sec 1, 2s really have the passion to bowl and not for the wrong objectives.. guess the discipline of the team is really depend on me, sam and seniors... seniors really must set gd example.. or else it wun be fair. ahaa. yup.. *btw.. those who were at the meeting and reading this, if can.. write to me, tag me or contact for any probs and feedback.. ahhaa. can tag here too.* =) but no vulguarities ar. =p..
tml good firday!>.. the end of lent. haha. yup. one of the most important event, i hope i wun screw my day tml... i'm going to wrk hard. i amm gg to pay attention and not fall asleep. ahhaa. i am me. i want my old me back.
speaking of old, i really miss my primary sch friends, espically, joel tan, wei ming, jun gang, jin, tab, nic, and all my gang lar. whhaa.gang.. real ymiss those days.. missed my best friend amy... as in. used to be...... ahhaa. then had childish arguements and ended. hahha. no lar.. past was past. now the whole st hilda;s is my friend. ahhaha. wad.. i really miss dad.. i miss his fat fingers, squeeeezy cheeckc, pullable hair.. haah. haiz. miss his craps, jokes, anger, face and everything lar. my life seems to be short of something. i duno wads that.. love? brotherly love? sisterly love? parental love? agape love? something i'm not sure of.

whaha. help!!. the bowling web must be something like http://www.acs.sch.edu.sg/acs_indep/eca/sports/bowling/, and totaly updated!!. ahha. goash. i know nothing.

[ pls vet the pages before submissin. you need to get all the webpages created and ensure that the filenames all beginwif JL (eg, JL index.htm, JLhome. htm) so that it does not overwrite the existing school web page.... hand in the diskette or cd to ms deborah chai, who will make a link to our own webpages for u under the cca webpage ]

whaha. hmm. natashia... if u're reading this. u know now?
tml got soo many meetings.. dieded. h. today bio test.. study so hard for nothing...the paper so easy.. then its like i study study.. thn confuse me.. then not sure. then easy paper becom difficult. whaaha. okko. today indirectly forced chinses teacher to postpon ting xie. wahha. yup. haiz. tml a math. die die die. i really hope i get a.. that will be the first time. tml is my last for till june. whhaha.. pengs. better make full use of time sia. i really want to do well for both cca and studies and not only one. ahaa. currentlt, its none!!> last yr was both k.. die. i miss trng under cathay.. however, trng wif uncle jack can know more ppl, bowlers and stuff. wahaa. okok. i shall be guai and go and practice. aha.

phew. finished PFT today. haha. made improvements for shuttle runs, sit ups, sit and reach and 2.4.. the rest is like deteoriated. ahaha. esp pull ups and broad jump. haha. okok. got to make bowling page. and i really have no idea.. haha. hopefully, God will send a miracle fo r to finish b4 mye!!. ahaa. need loads of help, for i dun know a single thing about web making except blog-making. hahaa. currently asking jawn-kazan.. ahhaha.. for help. anyway, my blog like so ~-tahe-~ aha. some word la.. haha. yar... its ~-tahe-~ and negative. so i shall not brood over crap stuff unless i got no where to shout lar. haa. okok. =).

was sitting in a double decker bus.. read this.. grafftti, vandalism that makes sense. [saved it to my phone] " Memory, like a veil, obscures my light, worse than my black silk maskever was. I can no longer see a way to go on in this cruel world...I am for oblivion"... my first impression was.. wah.. this person has great potential in lit... his eng so power.. spelling all correct,.. i dun evem know wad obvilion was. aha. yar. and i think he's reallly in a mess. haha,. yup. i think me seeing this is really too much of a concidence. so yar. tired. today teens time so little young ppl come.. haiz.... practically no one younger than me, besides demi came. haiz. wheres all the people??

once again... falling back. succumbing to stress and pressure. grasping for time and freedom. tests after tests, hw after hw, scoldings after scolding, disappointments after disappointments. is failure really the step to success? too much failure, how about that?... wad if i dun live till my success? cries are unheard, pleas are ignored. one cannot help oneself. not even myself. cannot even be addicted to work. putting on a mask to sch. the happy self. wads behind that colourful world? i love gg to sch.. coz it makes me wrk, focus and study. not at home. a really lifeless home. juz so empty. hope the mask doesn't crash into pieces one day. i cannot accept.
ppl are like really improving and i'm really back silding. jin sheng's one of them. right?... i cannot seem to find that spark of willingness to be hardworking and the urge to study- to learn. juz reading plain dead bks. am i really the only one? i'm last in class! how about that. bowling is really addictive and affecting me. this sux. wed is my last trng..... then break for 3mths... i'm happy to the extent that i can rest, breathe and catch up with my wrk. but.. i miss bowling,.. nvm that.. but wad if i back slde bowling. and not being able to regain my form? i'm gonna waste my 3 yrs of effort for nxt yr. i cannot affort to lose any time and energy.
how i wish i am rich. filled wif cash. though it can't buy u happiness, at least it can indirectly buy time.. i can always have a chauffer to fetch me evrywhere i go.. to save travelling time.. and at the same time, do my wrk... i can always have the money to buy loads and loads of bks.. to gain knowledge and for info.. i can always buy health products to gain sufficient energy for the day. i can buy many things juz to satisfy myself.
but no. currently, i'm like applying for some fund thing,,... coz my family income is currently $0. plain zero. wads goes away never comes back.oh wells.. who says this is a fair world? tsk.
wad i have to do now, pratically, is to really pay attention and force myself to have energy. pray to God that i'm able to sustain myself for a whole day of energy-consuming activities wif really little slp. can u imagine..... if i juz need 2h of slp everyday and wun feel tired even if i do vigouros activities everyday.... wun that be great?ahha. hallucinating.
life is really like a bed of roses, filled wif red, tempting flowers that contains pricky thorns that hurt you. looks can be deciving. this is life. full stop. end.


:: songs that explains me by avril. ::

Anything but ordinary
Sometimes I get so weird
I even freak myself out
I laugh myself to sleep
it's my lullaby
Sometimes I drag so fast
just to feel the danger
I wanna scream it makes me feel alive
Chorus:
Is it enough to love? is it enough to breathe ?
Somebody rip my heart out & leave me here to bleed
Is it enough to die, somebody save my life
I'd rather be anything but ordinary please
To walk within the lines
would make my life so boring
I want to know that i have been to the extreme
so knock me off my feet
c'mon now give it to me
anything to make me feel alive
Chorus:
Is it enough to love? is it enough to breathe?
Somebody rip my heart out & leave me here to bleed
Is it enough to die somebody save my life
I'd rather be anything but ordinary please
I'd rather be anything but ordinary please
Let down your defenses, use old common sense
if you look you will see that this world is a
beautiful, accident, turbulent, soculent, oculent, permanent no way
I wanna taste it, don't wanna waste it away...
Sometimes I get so weird i even freak myself out
I laugh myself to sleep it's my lullaby
Chorus:
Is it enough? Is it enough? is it enough to breathe?
Somebody rip my heart out & leave me here to bleed
Is it enough to die? somebody save my life
I'd rather be anything but ordinary please
Is it enough? is it enough to die somebody save da life
I'd rather be anything but ordinary please (oh)
I'd rather be anything but ordinary please

Losing Grip
Are you aware of what you make me feel, baby?
Right now I feel invisible to you, like I'm not real
Didn't you feel me lock my arms around you?
Why'd you turn away?
Here's what I have to say:
I was left to cry there, waitin' outside there
Grinnin' with a lost stare
That's when I decided
Chorus:
Why should I care?
'Cuz you weren't there when I was scared
I was so alone
You, you need to listen!
I'm startin' to trip, I'm losin' my grip
And I'm in this thing alone
Am I just some chick you placed beside you
To take somebody's place?
When you turn around can you recognize my face?
You used to love me, you used to hug me
But that wasn't the case
Everything wasn't okay
I was left to cry there, waitin' outside there
Grinnin' with a lost stare
That's when I decided
Repeat Chorus
Cryin' out loud
I'm cryin' out loud
Cryin' out loud
I'm cryin' out loud
Open your eyes
Open up wide
Why should I care?
'Cuz you weren't there when I was scared
I was so alone
Repeat (2x):
Why should I care?
'Cuz you weren't there when I was scared
I was so alone
Why should I care?
If you don't care then I don't care
We're not goin' anywhere


Naked
I wake up in the morning
Put on my face
The one that's gonna get me
Through another day
Doesn't really matter
How I feel inside
This life is like a game sometimes
Then you came around me
The walls just dissapeared
Nothing to surround me
Keep me from my fears
I'm unprotected
See how I've opened up
You've made me trust
{chorus}
I've never felt like this before
I'm naked around you
Does it show
You see right through me
And I can't hide
I'm naked around you
And it feels so right
Trying to remember
Why I was afraid
To be myself
And let the covers fall away
Guess I never had someone like you
To help me fit in my skin
{chorus}
I'm naked around you
Does it show
I'm naked around you
I'm so naked around you
And I can't hide
You're gonna see right through baby



Unwanted
All that I did was walk over
Start off by shaking your hands
That's how it went
I had a smile on my face
and I sat up straight
Oh yeah yeah
I wanted to know you
I wanted to show you
~*Chours*~
You don't know me
Don't ignore me
You don't want me there
You just shut me out
You don't know me
Don't ignore me
If you had your way
You'd just shut me up
Make me go away
No i just don't understand why you
Wont talk to me it hurts that i'm
So unwanted for nothing don't
Talk words against me
I wanted to know you
I wanted to show you
~*Chours*~
You don't know me
Don't ignore me
You don't want me there
You just shut me out
You don't know me
Don't ignore me
If you had your way
You'd just shut me up
Make me go away
I tried to belong it didn't seem wrong
My head aches
It's been so long
I'll write the song if that's what it takes
~*Chours*~
You don't know me
Don't ignore me
You don't want me there
You just shut me out
You don't know me
Don't ignore me
If you had your way
You'd just shut me up
Make me go away
~*Chours*~
You don't know me
Don't ignore me
You don't want me there
You just shut me out
You don't know me
Don't ignore me
If you had your way
You'd just shut me up
Make me go away



Mobile
Went back home again,
this sucks, gotta pack up and leave again
Say goodbye to all my friends,
cant say when ill be there again
Its time now to turn aroud
Turn my back on everything
Turn my back on everything
Chorus:
Everythings changin' when i turn around,
all out of my control,
im a mobile
Everythings changin' when i turn around,
all out of my control,
im a mobile.
Ouhh yea
Start back at this life,
Stretch myself back into the vibe
Im wakin up to say ive tried,
Instead of waking up to another T.V Guide
Its time now to turn around
turn and walk on this crazy ground...
Chorus:
Everythings changin' when i turn around,
all out of my control,
im a mobile
Everythings changin' out of what i know,
Everywhere i go,
im a mobile.
im a mobile.
Hanging from the ceiling
Life's a mobile
Spinning 'round with mixed feelings
Crazy and wild
Sometimes I wanna scream out loud
Everything's changing everywhere I go
All out of my control
Everything's changing everywhere I go
Out of what I know
yeah yeah yeah
La la la la la la la la...
Chorus
Everythings changin' when i turn around,
all out of my control,
im a mobile
Everythings changin' out of what i know,
Everywhere i go,
im a mobile.
Everywhere I go
I'm a mobile

now usin my dad's com.. been teeling myself not to use mine... so i use his.. hah. i think addicted liao.... today's april's fool day. haah. so 3/5 and 3/6 swoop classrm to freak the teacher out.. haah.. coz their class first period was mrs teo hui lin.. ours is mrs agnes tan.. the very comical teachers. ahhha. then we swop.. ahha. but then i go to my own class coz the class was afraid that i kena recognised. ahah.. in former 3/6 class room, mrs tan played on wif us to trick mrs teo coz she was as usual, late for class.. haha. then to fake-fake-ly ask the class... wad is citizenship rights??? ah.aha.. anyhow go make some question.. haha. then mrs teo finally came. hhaa. then 3/6, in 3/5 class room, trick her..ahha. damn funny. then change back... then after 2periods, it was maths (pang) for us and ss (wahidah) for them...aha. so alot of them wanted to do same trick coz it was pang..haha. so we changed back to 3/5 classroom... then ms wahidah happily thought that it was 3/5...(fancy not knowing her class ppl).. then ltr.. she went out.. after we confused her.. then later.. pang went into 3/5 class... in our class room.. then heard laughters.. ahhaa.. then he came to out class.. then... aha. he laugh laugh laugh.. and even attempted to hide his laughter.. ahha. then swopped back... then later..we all laugh in class.. then i heard from 3/5 that wahidah scolded them.. haiz... yup..
nxt wk is CAs. all clogged up together.. kinda back to stress mode again. hoopefully i will not be distracted. =). yup. missing all the bowling ppl... those in our team.. those other schs. haha