though it's a longg year, in a nutshell, it's always fast.
this year, i would label it as a transition year for me.
early in the year, i was sitting in the office of MOE. and with nothing to do, i was searching. i mean, i had to search. i needed to find my life. ok. not so much as 'life' per se, but i needed to start seriously thinking about my future. ok. its not that i havent already been from the start, but i needed to really identify what it means to be sustainable both financially as well as keeping my flame of passion going. well, no one is really sure of the future or can confirm anything right. what we can do is to really pick one good long term goal and then set some small stepping goals towards it right; just like how we used to play join-the-dots when we're kids. without the numbering, its tougher to find a route. with the numbering, when well-versed, we do it fast and soon, we're able to get the picture.
and so, Marketing. Aviation.
yep. (: just like my mr. poon. and for some reason, i think mother poon is secretly more proud that i'm all dirty and boyish dealing with airplanes rather being in nicely ironed office wear and be an OL, more directly dealing with money and people. i guess i'm also happier this way.
(ok, i can't really rmbr everything that happened. not even those significant events coz the physical temperature is really just too cold and i'm having the cramps. :/ hello new yr indeed. hahas i'm just gonna flip through my FB photo albums abit)
OH YES. CISCO. avso (aviation security officer. haas)
how can i ever forget that episode in my life. ahahas.
the hhmd and wtmd. beep beep beepppppp. ahahas.
it was a random part-time job. chose it because i wanted to get to know more about Changi airport operations as well as probably discover some opportunities along the way.
trng at the old Police Academy was probably the closest i can ever get to my part-dream of joining a uniform-ish job. and so, i did made some good friends along the way, and opportunities came by since people were kinda taken aback when they found out i had a degree in my bag.
and through the job, i was able to contribute to changi's level of security abit, not just the execution part, but in terms of planning. coz i got quite frustrated with the system that i went up to see the head of duno what. quite big shot, but he was a very efficient and effective guy that came from the police side. and yes, changes were implemented. though i wasn't really done yet, i had to stop this journey due to the conflicting airport pass for my OJT with Shaeco.
yep, for me, it was always about making changes. improvements.
short-lived. but good.
ok.
didn't do much epic adventure trips this yr.
but i did went overseas quite a few times. the most memorable one was probably the 7 days i spent in bangkok with the girls. it was a plannedverylongago trip. always didn't have the cash for it until i worked at MOE. 7 days of fun and not to care about anything in the world. and i really enjoyed the meals there ttm.
the half planned 3-4 weeks Nepal trip (supposedly in sept) wasn't successful. well, coz i started school and also, i didn't have enough finance to go through it. but thank God we didnt. coz there was an epic fatal avalanche incident during that time... some more it was around the place we wanted to explore.
and so, in light to quench the thirst of the adventurous spirit, i single-handedly planned a very random wk-end trip to ipoh to do some caving and rafting with the help of trusty dickson to carry out some stuff. 12 friends from my random friend groups. sch.church.photogs.biking. hahahs. (: was good and very glad that they're good friends now. it was also to celebrate the sept birthdays since dinners were too mainstream. hahahhahas.
and yes, my horrible MCL injury that totally threw me out of my tangent.
though i went up HK with the team, i could only attempt to be an excellent team manager. had to miss Asian Club champs as well as the Club Rugby 7s. BUT, i had a good window of break. though i didn't play, at the sidelines, i did learn quite abit. hopefully a more visionary playey now! hahas.
was forced to quit ballet.
and so, for the recital this yr, i only did one Tap item. but looking forward to go back this yr!
this whole episode did taught me deep stuff. like how to be patient and to really draw out positive learning points from every single thing even when it seems all bleak and useless.
the road of recovery was long, and my physio was nice. he helped me alot and also made me a more discipline-with-injury sportsperson.
and so, sch started in June, and it was just Aviation all the way.
as the boy is now 3 yrs old and more aware of communicable interactions with people, going home to his crazy smiles and laughs is just so rewarding. but just last friday, it was his last day here before he goes home and prepares for pre-school and back to living with his parents, after 3 yrs; since the time he was born. ): definitely going to miss this secretly charismatic boy.
yep. and so that was it.
throw in some mac delivery and yes, a new Popeye rider and some minor bike accidents along the way, that's my 2012. neither bad or good. but needed.
well, this yr,
my ability to let you go was probably at its peak, which i think, is at its plateau phase now. its a good thing. probably everything wasn't about you any more. but through you, u've taught me to let go. i dont think i've given up. and i hope i dont make any drastic decisions for the worse. hahas.
but,
i
was
far
from God.
): probably the most distant ever. i've probably lost sight on Him. ):
towards the end of the yr, i felt myself loosing sight of what's right/wrong, good/bad. i dont think i'm talking about the clear distinction about the extremes. but i felt myself settling for what's grey, balancing on a tight line. my principles were tested. my beliefs were sabotaged. everything seem to be cluttered and very raw. ok, not exactly the word i have in mind, but i felt tt i needed to start all over again.
i needed to let God by my steering wheel again. wanting letting Him to be the captain of my life again wasn't easy, and still isn't is, but i think its not that far away since God hasn't left me and He wont unless i choose to shut Him out.
its not just like a 'bad month of the year', but it probably felt like the worst of my life.
it felt that i had to throw myself down a few more levels and soak up all that's being drained out; and its not really a path that i had to take. but though bitter, in it, i do see the light.
my friend's take on 'the light at the end of the tunnel'-.... instead of the freedom and salvation we all deemed that it is, from afar, how sure are we that it's not an oncoming train? u sure?
the world is indeed very real.
more often than not, when we're safely in our comfort zone, guarded by how much we trust the distance we have from the dangers and pitfalls, we dont believe the potency of how the world can test us against our faith because of such positive comfort. and because we're in such comfort zones, we have that it-wont-happen-to-me mentality. however, somewhere in the book of John 10, it says "the devil only comes to steal, kill and destroy..." and talks about God being the good shepherd and we being His lost sheep. its such a sunday school kind of story that we often overlook the weight, the depth, and the importance what the Bible says to us. then, we can only seek some form of appreciation when we're in the desperate need for it. humans. haha. ungrateful shit. 忘恩负义.
never learn.
and so, looking ahead into the new year, of course,
#1, i want to be close to God again. start serving again.
2. graduate as a top student and fail no modules!
3. i hope to get into SIAEC bye bye fireman.
4. idk how, but i hope mother poon wont feel lonely and i still want to make time for my trngs.
5. be a stronger and more valuable rugby and touch player.
6. get back into Ballet. find time for lyrical Jazz (hahas, time does not permit it for now)
7. do prioritize some times out for friends.
8. make more recordings! and i want to have a more pleasant recording voice.
thats all i can think of for now.
2013
the new year.
i do love such imaginary breakages that gives us some sort of drive to make positive changes.
make God take lead.
and not let myself be that barrier for a better self again.
(:
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