take a chance. dont regret.

i had 3 dinner choices today.
political vs friendship vs obedience.



literally.
i chose friendship.





period.









sometimes most of the time, i talk to this space coz i feel that i dont have anyone to talk to. its more like, i duno how to convey my thoughts out to anyone else (except you). blogging helps me to slow my neurons down to manageable, absorbable, comprehendible pace.




sometimes its quite scary how tumblr flashes u and image that totally amplifies ur thoughts and sets its perimeters to give u a gotcha-there feeling.

been thinking about this....
and even more clearly today. and really, my mind was all about this when this image came out. after clicking onto blogger (wanting to blog about it like now), i clicked on tumblr... scrolled down.. and saw this image. hahas.


its not just about telling that i love u or what, coz honestly, i dont really know. but i just wanna pick things up from where we left off 5 yrs ago. i'm not looking at any progression or what. i just dont want to lose such a great friend and brother in my life.
ok. enough of the explaination. i think i've done enough throughout the years here.




i guess coz apart from the fact that i still undeniably miss you, it adds on to me when my friend's bf passed away. yea. referring that that recent NS.F case in april.
i see her tweets.
it just gives me feel the 'aw-man' feeling.
its like, we will really only feel the deep essence of regret when we're being thrusted upon it.  learning to sincerely treasure that same level of essence (before something/someone is gone) is probably a skill or takes highly-skilled empathic heart.
honestly, i dont think anyone on this earth is able to achieve the skill of appreciation at that level. perhaps a 105 great grandma would.



now that u're still alive and well, shouldn't i just take that leap of faith with huge spoonful of courage to....
write another letter to you. hahahs
what if again, i dont get a response. or rather a response that reflect that i've not done anything at all which would just take the whole thing onto a new desperate level.


i need help.