ok. i'm under Aljunied GRC.
but its like the whole hype's on the Marine Parade GRC- between Nicole Seah and Tin Pei Ling respectively.
just watched a few vids of them. and honestly, if i'm PAP, knowing that there's a Nicole Seah as my opposition, i would be afraid.
i kinda understand where's nicole seah coming from. what she wants and hopes for the people is what i would want to do. i feel that i'm quite similar to her.. in the ways of our thinking and all. ahhas. but she's really a very charismatic and bold speaker. i'm not able to speak out my thoughts which are similar as clearly out loud as she can. its like.. she's able just put things into perspective while i vomit out my thoughts in jumbles of concepts.
perhaps the PAP has been in their own world for too long. we need oppositions to challenge the status quo and such obstacles to wake us up and allow us to re-asses situations so that those policies can be re-tailored to suit growing and changing needs.
really inspired with nicole seah. but no, i'm not able to give back to the community like how she is doing.
i still want my job as a fireman.
hahas.
on the other hand, tin pei ling... it just feels that the group has a liability to take care, address and shelther her from all the negative media reponses towards her. maybe i'm just reading off what's hot in the media now la.
i think the oppositions this time round has created more hyped in this whole GE. i'm not sure if its coz...
1) i'm older and more aware of sg's p&p r&r
2) more social networks, more media exposure..
3) because there's 2 young girls competing for that one piece of a pie.
but this is the thing. the louder group always be seemed as the majority. however, there are many more who are oblivious to what these parties want to do and would just take an easier step by voting for PAP. so in the end, its the status quo that wins and not the group that has captured hearts and wanting to help out sincerely.
i like one thing that nicole said during her first rally.. "vote for the party that speak up for you. and not the party that threatens you with fear." amen to that nicole!
Saturday, April 30, 2011
Friday, April 29, 2011
total complete devastation
and err... i dun think i'm exaggerating it.
morng, saw the email on my phone that confirmed my unsuccessful application.
then called the office/ person who interviewed me and all to ask if i can re-apply.
he say wait for the next one which is 6mths later. starts in dec. i was like.. HUH?!
so since i can't get in via senior officer.. how about paramedic?
he say cannot coz i'm a degree holder. like wth. they are looking at diploma graduates.
SERIOUSLY. i told him i dont mind diploma pay. he say he'll see what he can do abt it.
i'm sure he's not gg to do anything about it.
the next intake for paramedic is in May which is too late. so he suggested the august intake one. i was like.. SERIOUSLY? THANKS FOR TELLING NOW YA.
and when i asked in the past, everyone from the force tells me different stuff. its really inconsistent and not healthy for a good planning ya.
then i got alittle bit irritated. coz i wantedthe job this dream very badly. so i just asked him y wasn't i accepted.
he said based of my merits and his personal experiences.... no.
i was like.. "ok..........".
didn't really understand it. probably i sucked at interview, he misjudged me, i misjudged myself, he's jealous coz i'm young... HAHA. WHATEVER. i just dont know la k. and he wasn't open enough to tell me through the phone.
i mean like seriously.
if u government bodied ppl want local uni students, then just bloody put it down and dont cheat our feelings. i'm pretty sure abt this. dont say u welcome good degree holders from recognized institutes, instead, just say local unis ya. SERIOUSLY.
and ya, if the height's an issue, just tell me blatantly in my face. i can take it.
i rather u tell me truth than to tell me to re-apply 6mths later in which i will not grow taller ya.
this is like a love-turns-to-hate situation.
because i love and want to attain something so much, that when i dont, it becomes hate.
so on the phone, i was alrdy crying. but i was able to not sound as if i'm crying.
when i put down the phone, i pathetically walked to the toilet cubicle, sat on the relatively clean floor and cried my heart out. it been so long since i've cried like that.
not the sobz sobz kind.. but the BOOOOOOWWHAHAHHASHOOOOO kind. but coz i was still in office premises, it was like a silent bitter cry. and i dont think i'm crying over spilt milk. i'm crying because someone just slammed the door to my dream shut in my face. like literally.
at that point of time, i just wanted to take leave for the day and go home to cry my eyes out to sleep. and i didn't know that it could affect me this much. didn't expect myself to be so....... into it.
like my fb status says.. "I think this news has more impact to me than a breakup over a relationship."
seriously.
when we broke up in 2007, i know it was bad. but i think it wasn't this bad. hahas. so now, i'm not sure if i can get over this emotionally; and duno how many years i'll take. ahhas. i hope i'm kidding about this.
so for the whole day, i was like the zombie cafe zombie. working like how i would. when i drove out to deliver/have lunch.. i knew i should not be riding out today. i wasn't at my 100% attention on the road and just very very distracted.
before exiting from my toilet-outlet, i washed my faced and made sure my puffy eyes and rosy cheeks looked as if i just didn't have a good night slp.
ahhas.
and when cheong asked me why i looked like that, i told her that i was tired and everyone believed. (:
but then later she was just asking me abt when i was gg to leave the job (coz i was a temp staff and told that abt my scdf application before) ... tears started to roll down.
and then, it didn't stop.
i think it like stop after half an hour. and about another hour later. another staff came over to ask if i was ok. and then.. i cried again.
HAHA. WEAKLING CAN.
its not that i want to cry. i was really ALRIGHT! but i guess i was just too sad inside to hold back any tears. i am pretty sure there's like litres of tear behind my eyeballs now. and before i head to bed later, i'm prepared to think about this and cry again. seriously.
this whole shit can be compared to my dad's passing. though i still mean that poon's MIA was probaby 10x more overwhelming, mind-blowing and fact-unaccepted kinda thing.
and ya, when i just typed that line, i asked myself if i was exaggerating. and again, i am sure i'm not.
UGH.
so after the whole work day, it felt that time flew coz i was probably in a daze and not sure what's gg on.
i could choose an awesome dinner with mother poon and the little boy over tp trng.. but i chose the latter.
instead of doing tp's fitness, i went to the gym and gymed my heart out.
and really, it was a good session. i think i could like do 3-4 more times for a set than i normallywould could.
then joined them for drills.
and again, i could focus well. usually, i have probs focusing. coz i'm the type that needs abit of distraction to be focused. so probably by evening, after all the gyming and on a sporting-field atmosphere, i could brush those unhappy thoughts aside (though this lingering at the back of my mind) and have a good time which i eventually did.
infact, i think i did well.
so.
i do not know what's installed for me tmr.
i'm just gg to live day by day alone like that.
i wanted to cast my cares upon the Lord but i was hesitant. i know He'll gladly welcome me to do so and even want me to do so... but i just felt ashamed. i mean like i dun want to go to God because i need Him during that period of time. i want to be more appreciative of Him and not run to Him and treat Him like some outlet where i go to only when i feel the need to. it has to be out of love and not because i'm in trouble. its not nice. and ya, i really know He doesn't mind. its just...i can't la.
it's the same for earthly friends la. because i have so many friends, i can honestly say i dont have ONE darn close sister kind. let's just face it. i'm a loner and i dont open up. i mean i do open up, but i dont have one that i can confide in 24/7. i know there are friends reading this and caring for me and all which i really appreciate. so for that, thank you.
i have friends that i can talk out all my deepest sorrow and share my happiest joy as and when i want to. but i think its only 'available' when u're close to them during 'periods' of time. i.e when u're having an event that make u spend alot of time together. eg. like school, dance practices, go to church.. etc. agree agree? so when u stop all ur 'linkages'.. ur bridge of friendship naturally fades. ya, u still do oftenly meet up and have a ball of a time together and still able to talk your hearts out. but honestly, am i able to like call anyone of u now at 2.30am and pour out all my shit to a tired u so that i can have a better night?
i dont think any of our friendship's at this level yet. yea, maybe ithas had.. but it's like a past tense ya; and occassionally present tense.
and dont get me wrong. i am not complaining or upset that this has to happen.
i'm just trying to put things into perspective, and still loving u ppl as much. hahas.
so sometimes i ask myself, if we -school, -church, -trainings and all.. will we still be that close? i mean we could. but surely?
and this is y leaving you was so hard. because u were that one friend that i can turn to and who would understand me perfectly like as if u were in my shoes.
HAIZ. and the best part... u live like within walkable distance from my office. though i know u're probably like in camp or what, sometimes i would just want to take my bike and ride down memory lane. those lanes around ur house literally, where we spent times talking about or lives and all. maybe like just to sit there, think to myself and pretend that u are still here with me so that i can share this heavy load.
ok.
i know i am stronger than this.
i know i am.
and it will be tomorrow.
i've got lots of dispatching jobs to go tmr. so i cannot afford to slack mentally or it will really cost my life.
ok.
good night, and it feels much better that i have vomit 70% of the shit in me.
plus, i think mum gave me spoilt steam egg that made me lao-sai. so i was able to shit it all out literally.
HHAHAHHA. ok. enough nonsense (though i wasn't joking abt that. hahas).
PAP WP NSP SDA SDP SPP RP all have bigger worries than me now. hahas.
(ya. and did i mention that one of my collegues has a Worker's Party wallpaper on his iphone now?! yesh. he's like 22 yrs old?)
ok.
i want to vote but i'll be in HONG KONG on that day. ):
before i leave, i forgot to share with u guys....
i recieved 3 dreaded letters from LTA!!!!!
2 is due to my faulty ERP cashcard machine. and 1 is riding on bus lane.
seriously?!
so these are my appeals in which i honestly didn't lie (how proud of myself):
1) for the bus lane one.
"Hi,
i would like to make an appeal wtr to this offense that i have committed at new upp changi road btw bedok mrt station and bedok north ave 3 that took place on 29 march, 5:43pm.
If i remebered correctly, i remembered that on that day i wanted to turn in to the carpark on the left however, while on the lane beside the bus lane, there was a bus at the side/diagonally on the left of me. as i was afraid to miss the left turn into the carpark, i might have gone into the bus lane fearing that i would miss that left turn which i would have make one whole big round around bedok central to go back and make that same left turn.
i can't really remember the whole scenario exactly coz it happened a month ago and it was only tonight (28th april) that i opened my letterbox.
having said that, i am aware that there is are no excuses when offense are committed. however, i'm pretty sure that i am a law-abiding citizen who would not deliberately commit offenses for personal benefits unless its for a safety reason.
thus, i am apologetic and regret to have commit such an offense.
As i'm still a student working part-time, $130.00 is quite a hefty sum for me to fork out. Thus i am making this appeal and promise to not ride on bus lanes even if i have to miss my turns, and having to go through all this process again.
thank you for your kind understanding."
2) the ERP nonsense one.
"Hi,
i can't remember how many times this has happened to me already.
towards the end of last year, i remembered this happened to me in which i had to send my IU for inspection which i did.
the problem was rectified.
soon again (earlier this year), i realized that the problem re-surfaced. so, i went to the bike shop to get it checked and found out that because my bike battery had died, thus my bike didn't have enough power to power up the IU unit to allow the ERP to read the unit.
so when i changed my bike battery which cost med $36, it problem should have been solved. however, this wasn't the case as each time when i checked the AXS machines for any fines that i was unaware of, new fines kept re-surfacing.
because they were like $8 $10 ... i just paid the fines, and be more thrifty in my spending.
when i finally opened up my letter box tonight (28th april), its only then i really realize that it's always the case that the letter states that "i dont have a stored value card inserted properly" in the unit.
because i am not familiar of where ERP gantries are at in Singapore, most of the time when i ride, there will be a cashcard in my IU unit. and i always make sure that i'd hear a nice sounding 'beep' when the card's inserted in, instead of an annoying long "beeeeeep" when it's not inserted properly. in addition, i always carry a spare cash card if one of my cash card is faulty/ runs out of money.
Therefore, i am very sure that i have not make some mistakes.
Now that i am aware of this, i will be making a trip down to the Inspection centre, not to have my IU inspected, but to purchase a new one (probably by early May) because i am quite irritated by having to pay all these fines which can snowball to hundreds of dollars.
***
I'm not sure if these are the only 2 Notice Numbers that LTA has sent me. there may be more which i have either paid or have not paid. for those that i've made payments, to save the hassle, forget it. However, for those that I have not paid please do help to investigate and let me know if i have to produce any letter to prove the purchase of my new IU or whatsoever so that i do not have to keep paying the fines in which offenses i don't commit ! my bike number: FBB629C.
thank you for your kind understanding."
i'm a law abiding citizen ok!
offenses that i would commit are the parking once due to the nature of my job. (delivery to a place which involves less than 10mins at times?) or ok.. i admit... parking on pavements for convenience sake.
but i will never mess with ERP gantries and bus lanes and all. maybe illegal u-turns if i get lost?
hahhahahas.
ok. i'm not here to vomit out all my offences but just to clarify myself and serve some justice for myself pls.
morng, saw the email on my phone that confirmed my unsuccessful application.
then called the office/ person who interviewed me and all to ask if i can re-apply.
he say wait for the next one which is 6mths later. starts in dec. i was like.. HUH?!
so since i can't get in via senior officer.. how about paramedic?
he say cannot coz i'm a degree holder. like wth. they are looking at diploma graduates.
SERIOUSLY. i told him i dont mind diploma pay. he say he'll see what he can do abt it.
i'm sure he's not gg to do anything about it.
the next intake for paramedic is in May which is too late. so he suggested the august intake one. i was like.. SERIOUSLY? THANKS FOR TELLING NOW YA.
and when i asked in the past, everyone from the force tells me different stuff. its really inconsistent and not healthy for a good planning ya.
then i got alittle bit irritated. coz i wanted
he said based of my merits and his personal experiences.... no.
i was like.. "ok..........".
didn't really understand it. probably i sucked at interview, he misjudged me, i misjudged myself, he's jealous coz i'm young... HAHA. WHATEVER. i just dont know la k. and he wasn't open enough to tell me through the phone.
i mean like seriously.
if u government bodied ppl want local uni students, then just bloody put it down and dont cheat our feelings. i'm pretty sure abt this. dont say u welcome good degree holders from recognized institutes, instead, just say local unis ya. SERIOUSLY.
and ya, if the height's an issue, just tell me blatantly in my face. i can take it.
i rather u tell me truth than to tell me to re-apply 6mths later in which i will not grow taller ya.
this is like a love-turns-to-hate situation.
because i love and want to attain something so much, that when i dont, it becomes hate.
so on the phone, i was alrdy crying. but i was able to not sound as if i'm crying.
when i put down the phone, i pathetically walked to the toilet cubicle, sat on the relatively clean floor and cried my heart out. it been so long since i've cried like that.
not the sobz sobz kind.. but the BOOOOOOWWHAHAHHASHOOOOO kind. but coz i was still in office premises, it was like a silent bitter cry. and i dont think i'm crying over spilt milk. i'm crying because someone just slammed the door to my dream shut in my face. like literally.
at that point of time, i just wanted to take leave for the day and go home to cry my eyes out to sleep. and i didn't know that it could affect me this much. didn't expect myself to be so....... into it.
like my fb status says.. "I think this news has more impact to me than a breakup over a relationship."
seriously.
when we broke up in 2007, i know it was bad. but i think it wasn't this bad. hahas. so now, i'm not sure if i can get over this emotionally; and duno how many years i'll take. ahhas. i hope i'm kidding about this.
so for the whole day, i was like the zombie cafe zombie. working like how i would. when i drove out to deliver/have lunch.. i knew i should not be riding out today. i wasn't at my 100% attention on the road and just very very distracted.
before exiting from my toilet-outlet, i washed my faced and made sure my puffy eyes and rosy cheeks looked as if i just didn't have a good night slp.
ahhas.
and when cheong asked me why i looked like that, i told her that i was tired and everyone believed. (:
but then later she was just asking me abt when i was gg to leave the job (coz i was a temp staff and told that abt my scdf application before) ... tears started to roll down.
and then, it didn't stop.
i think it like stop after half an hour. and about another hour later. another staff came over to ask if i was ok. and then.. i cried again.
HAHA. WEAKLING CAN.
its not that i want to cry. i was really ALRIGHT! but i guess i was just too sad inside to hold back any tears. i am pretty sure there's like litres of tear behind my eyeballs now. and before i head to bed later, i'm prepared to think about this and cry again. seriously.
this whole shit can be compared to my dad's passing. though i still mean that poon's MIA was probaby 10x more overwhelming, mind-blowing and fact-unaccepted kinda thing.
and ya, when i just typed that line, i asked myself if i was exaggerating. and again, i am sure i'm not.
UGH.
so after the whole work day, it felt that time flew coz i was probably in a daze and not sure what's gg on.
i could choose an awesome dinner with mother poon and the little boy over tp trng.. but i chose the latter.
instead of doing tp's fitness, i went to the gym and gymed my heart out.
and really, it was a good session. i think i could like do 3-4 more times for a set than i normally
then joined them for drills.
and again, i could focus well. usually, i have probs focusing. coz i'm the type that needs abit of distraction to be focused. so probably by evening, after all the gyming and on a sporting-field atmosphere, i could brush those unhappy thoughts aside (though this lingering at the back of my mind) and have a good time which i eventually did.
infact, i think i did well.
so.
i do not know what's installed for me tmr.
i'm just gg to live day by day alone like that.
i wanted to cast my cares upon the Lord but i was hesitant. i know He'll gladly welcome me to do so and even want me to do so... but i just felt ashamed. i mean like i dun want to go to God because i need Him during that period of time. i want to be more appreciative of Him and not run to Him and treat Him like some outlet where i go to only when i feel the need to. it has to be out of love and not because i'm in trouble. its not nice. and ya, i really know He doesn't mind. its just...i can't la.
it's the same for earthly friends la. because i have so many friends, i can honestly say i dont have ONE darn close sister kind. let's just face it. i'm a loner and i dont open up. i mean i do open up, but i dont have one that i can confide in 24/7. i know there are friends reading this and caring for me and all which i really appreciate. so for that, thank you.
i have friends that i can talk out all my deepest sorrow and share my happiest joy as and when i want to. but i think its only 'available' when u're close to them during 'periods' of time. i.e when u're having an event that make u spend alot of time together. eg. like school, dance practices, go to church.. etc. agree agree? so when u stop all ur 'linkages'.. ur bridge of friendship naturally fades. ya, u still do oftenly meet up and have a ball of a time together and still able to talk your hearts out. but honestly, am i able to like call anyone of u now at 2.30am and pour out all my shit to a tired u so that i can have a better night?
i dont think any of our friendship's at this level yet. yea, maybe it
and dont get me wrong. i am not complaining or upset that this has to happen.
i'm just trying to put things into perspective, and still loving u ppl as much. hahas.
so sometimes i ask myself, if we -school, -church, -trainings and all.. will we still be that close? i mean we could. but surely?
and this is y leaving you was so hard. because u were that one friend that i can turn to and who would understand me perfectly like as if u were in my shoes.
HAIZ. and the best part... u live like within walkable distance from my office. though i know u're probably like in camp or what, sometimes i would just want to take my bike and ride down memory lane. those lanes around ur house literally, where we spent times talking about or lives and all. maybe like just to sit there, think to myself and pretend that u are still here with me so that i can share this heavy load.
ok.
i know i am stronger than this.
i know i am.
and it will be tomorrow.
i've got lots of dispatching jobs to go tmr. so i cannot afford to slack mentally or it will really cost my life.
ok.
good night, and it feels much better that i have vomit 70% of the shit in me.
plus, i think mum gave me spoilt steam egg that made me lao-sai. so i was able to shit it all out literally.
HHAHAHHA. ok. enough nonsense (though i wasn't joking abt that. hahas).
PAP WP NSP SDA SDP SPP RP all have bigger worries than me now. hahas.
(ya. and did i mention that one of my collegues has a Worker's Party wallpaper on his iphone now?! yesh. he's like 22 yrs old?)
ok.
i want to vote but i'll be in HONG KONG on that day. ):
before i leave, i forgot to share with u guys....
i recieved 3 dreaded letters from LTA!!!!!
2 is due to my faulty ERP cashcard machine. and 1 is riding on bus lane.
seriously?!
so these are my appeals in which i honestly didn't lie (how proud of myself):
1) for the bus lane one.
"Hi,
i would like to make an appeal wtr to this offense that i have committed at new upp changi road btw bedok mrt station and bedok north ave 3 that took place on 29 march, 5:43pm.
If i remebered correctly, i remembered that on that day i wanted to turn in to the carpark on the left however, while on the lane beside the bus lane, there was a bus at the side/diagonally on the left of me. as i was afraid to miss the left turn into the carpark, i might have gone into the bus lane fearing that i would miss that left turn which i would have make one whole big round around bedok central to go back and make that same left turn.
i can't really remember the whole scenario exactly coz it happened a month ago and it was only tonight (28th april) that i opened my letterbox.
having said that, i am aware that there is are no excuses when offense are committed. however, i'm pretty sure that i am a law-abiding citizen who would not deliberately commit offenses for personal benefits unless its for a safety reason.
thus, i am apologetic and regret to have commit such an offense.
As i'm still a student working part-time, $130.00 is quite a hefty sum for me to fork out. Thus i am making this appeal and promise to not ride on bus lanes even if i have to miss my turns, and having to go through all this process again.
thank you for your kind understanding."
2) the ERP nonsense one.
"Hi,
i can't remember how many times this has happened to me already.
towards the end of last year, i remembered this happened to me in which i had to send my IU for inspection which i did.
the problem was rectified.
soon again (earlier this year), i realized that the problem re-surfaced. so, i went to the bike shop to get it checked and found out that because my bike battery had died, thus my bike didn't have enough power to power up the IU unit to allow the ERP to read the unit.
so when i changed my bike battery which cost med $36, it problem should have been solved. however, this wasn't the case as each time when i checked the AXS machines for any fines that i was unaware of, new fines kept re-surfacing.
because they were like $8 $10 ... i just paid the fines, and be more thrifty in my spending.
when i finally opened up my letter box tonight (28th april), its only then i really realize that it's always the case that the letter states that "i dont have a stored value card inserted properly" in the unit.
because i am not familiar of where ERP gantries are at in Singapore, most of the time when i ride, there will be a cashcard in my IU unit. and i always make sure that i'd hear a nice sounding 'beep' when the card's inserted in, instead of an annoying long "beeeeeep" when it's not inserted properly. in addition, i always carry a spare cash card if one of my cash card is faulty/ runs out of money.
Therefore, i am very sure that i have not make some mistakes.
Now that i am aware of this, i will be making a trip down to the Inspection centre, not to have my IU inspected, but to purchase a new one (probably by early May) because i am quite irritated by having to pay all these fines which can snowball to hundreds of dollars.
***
I'm not sure if these are the only 2 Notice Numbers that LTA has sent me. there may be more which i have either paid or have not paid. for those that i've made payments, to save the hassle, forget it. However, for those that I have not paid please do help to investigate and let me know if i have to produce any letter to prove the purchase of my new IU or whatsoever so that i do not have to keep paying the fines in which offenses i don't commit ! my bike number: FBB629C.
thank you for your kind understanding."
i'm a law abiding citizen ok!
offenses that i would commit are the parking once due to the nature of my job. (delivery to a place which involves less than 10mins at times?) or ok.. i admit... parking on pavements for convenience sake.
but i will never mess with ERP gantries and bus lanes and all. maybe illegal u-turns if i get lost?
hahhahahas.
ok. i'm not here to vomit out all my offences but just to clarify myself and serve some justice for myself pls.
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
uhhuh.
actually i got time to blog abt...
1) an exciting wedding that i've shot last wkend.
2) abt Qing Ming Jie with family during Easter.
3) an super duper awesome tap workshop by Grant Swift at jitterbugz on sunday.
HOWEVER...
i received a fb msg from the friend that i've made during the interview for cd.
and i think she got called coz she's asking me abt 6th may which i have no idea abt.
so i went to check my application status on careers.gov.sg and found out that the status says 'unsuccessful'.
this is o-m-g news for me.
like i've sad, with this route closed, i've got not much of an alternative. not that i really dont, just that i'm not ready to search the world for it.
i'm actually secretly quite devasted and there's really no close friend that i can talk to coz everyone's busy with their lives.
then i think about you.
again, whatever marian.
height?
not a local government qualification?
WHAT?
BUT. today while my job became a 24/7 deskbound task, i kept playing my ipod music and heard songs that i think God tried to use to speak to me like how He would always do using music.
so to share with u:
Disappear- Bebo Norman
On a day like this I want to crawl beneath a rock
A million miles from the world, the noise, the commotion
That never seems to stop
And on a day like this I want to run away from the routine
Run away from the daily grind that can suck the life
Right out of me
I only know of one place I can run to
Chorus:
I want to hide in You
The Way, the Life, the Truth
So I can disappear
And love is all there is to see
Coming out of me
And You become clear
As I disappear
I don't want to care about earthly things
Be caught up in all the lies that trick my eyes
They say it's all about me
I'm so tired of it being about me¦
I would rather be cast away
Separated from the human race
If I don't bring You glory
If I don't bring You glory
If I don't bring You glory
pls go hear the song. find it through youtube or whatever. at least i know someone's with me. thank you.
but back to my situation now. i think i will send an email before they send me an email. HAHS.
BUT THEN AGAIN, no news may be good news.
ok. now what?
patience vs urgency.
ok. i will blog abt those happi-er events when i'm happier.
1) an exciting wedding that i've shot last wkend.
2) abt Qing Ming Jie with family during Easter.
3) an super duper awesome tap workshop by Grant Swift at jitterbugz on sunday.
HOWEVER...
i received a fb msg from the friend that i've made during the interview for cd.
and i think she got called coz she's asking me abt 6th may which i have no idea abt.
so i went to check my application status on careers.gov.sg and found out that the status says 'unsuccessful'.
this is o-m-g news for me.
like i've sad, with this route closed, i've got not much of an alternative. not that i really dont, just that i'm not ready to search the world for it.
i'm actually secretly quite devasted and there's really no close friend that i can talk to coz everyone's busy with their lives.
then i think about you.
again, whatever marian.
height?
not a local government qualification?
WHAT?
BUT. today while my job became a 24/7 deskbound task, i kept playing my ipod music and heard songs that i think God tried to use to speak to me like how He would always do using music.
so to share with u:
Disappear- Bebo Norman
On a day like this I want to crawl beneath a rock
A million miles from the world, the noise, the commotion
That never seems to stop
And on a day like this I want to run away from the routine
Run away from the daily grind that can suck the life
Right out of me
I only know of one place I can run to
Chorus:
I want to hide in You
The Way, the Life, the Truth
So I can disappear
And love is all there is to see
Coming out of me
And You become clear
As I disappear
I don't want to care about earthly things
Be caught up in all the lies that trick my eyes
They say it's all about me
I'm so tired of it being about me¦
I would rather be cast away
Separated from the human race
If I don't bring You glory
If I don't bring You glory
If I don't bring You glory
pls go hear the song. find it through youtube or whatever. at least i know someone's with me. thank you.
but back to my situation now. i think i will send an email before they send me an email. HAHS.
BUT THEN AGAIN, no news may be good news.
ok. now what?
patience vs urgency.
ok. i will blog abt those happi-er events when i'm happier.
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
oneshot.
ok. i really want to make this a power pac good post.
so i shall be organized and get this gg good! hhahas.
the top of my list: The Interview.
for the Senior Officer position.
it was like... 5 ppl; 4 girls and 1 guy. hahas. we made friends quite quickly. coz we had to fill in like alot of paper work. hhahas. it felt like an hour test. there's like a 200 word long essay.. hahas. asking like what defines a leader/ civil defense officer/ scdf's motto and all. ahhaas. totally liked what i wrote. ahhas. so my kind of thing. did this like of write-ups/ trngs when i was in kc.... when i took part in massive leadership camps and even carried out leadership camps. hahaas. felt like it all got recollected.
then there's a part on the role play. ahhahas! i never knew i'd eventually face a role play interview ever since the whole group of us poly kids made fun of the interview and did it well just for the sake of getting gd grades and not so much as to really learn alot out of it (like how we did our marketing projects). - ok. that' was a really long sentence w/o punction. sry.
the role play was abt this paramedic who won the 'pride and care' award... but because he/she (aka. Gerry) ended his 3-yr relationship, he took a turn and became like a rebellion.. listing down all the faults he done and strong emphasis on the negligence of paper work. hahahas.
so there was i... facing this 'Gerry' who was a NSF. hHAHAHHAAHHAS, and infront of a true-blue senior officer.
omg. scary can.
we're supposed to act like senior officers and show how we approach him. ahhahas. yea. and that true-blue senior officer's like kinda strict. could tell that he was deeply a very nice person inside. but because he's like a senior officer, he had to really emphasize the seriousness of taking up this commitment.
i felt it.
there were a few moments i wanted to cry coz i was really intimidated by him but i was able to take it seriously and laugh it off with a sincere reply. he smiled occassionally. i'm not sure if its because he's happy with my answer/ find my answer silly and childish/ or just genuinely happy with my answer. i really dk.
it was my very first official interview in my life and i think i did relatively well. hahas. because so much was gg on inside me, i'm not able to tell what kind of interviewer is he. usually, i'm able find a suitable response towards a person. but this time round, i knew i had to be truthful to be calm. hahas. and i realized, that i really cannot lie or hide any truths. i didn't want to tell him that i'm recovering from self-esteem issues.. but i just blurted everything out to give myself a proper stand. good or no good, i really don't know. all i rmbr was just being blatantly truthful and positively happy throughout the interview. hahas.
yea. and it was a "why scdf. why not police force? since u like to save ppl, u know here's other outlets like stjohns, mcys... blah blah blah.. so y scdf?"
besides the "define ur kind of leadership style" qns that i found it hard to find a distinctive line... this was the qns that i kinda stuggled with. i know who i am and what kind of leader i am. but i can't find a summative, definitve word to describle my kind so i just said... "lead by example. why scdf? i really duno. i just know its a force that sg can depend on and i wanna be part of it.
its something that i've always been wanting to join and been kping a look out for since o levels. (where my doctor dreams are officially dashed)
so that was it. and i was the first person to get interviewed.
hahas. had spare time. so talked alot with the remaining ppl and 'Gerry' HAHAHAS.(that's not the real name btw).
and found out alot more abt a government-bodied organization like SCDF. made a cool friend- shaoting! hahas. final yr NUS student who's into climbing and knows judith as well. (: hhhahas. small world. and another girl from nyp. another girl who just picked up contact rugby and in bedok kings now. and another guy who graduated from tp long long long time ago, who did marketing in ntu and is working in a marketing related firm now.
ya. ahas. i really know alot of ppl hur. ahhahs.
YA and OMG. i HAVE to say this. i WANNA THANK GOD. i'm really super heing ka sai.
U KNOW, the person who actually sieve out the first batch of ppl to be interviewed is actually a NSF?!- someone who's like not even offically completed ns or tertiary studies?! i was kinda expecting some senior officer with 10,000 yrs work experience to do it to justify the painstaking process that applicants go through.
so basically, what he does is scan through all the applicants, look more at the education part and then click yes or no.
and omg. i was actually REJECTED first because i was from SIM (an external uni- not part of the nus, ntu smu thing.... oh yes.the other 4 applicants are from nus ntu and all.) i was totally underestimating by what everyone meant by 'government-bodied org'. not that its a bad thing. but there are many pros and cons which i cannot comment because i haven't officially gone through it right. so it wouldn't be a fair statement.
so ya. as i was saying. i kena rejected. BUT. the senior officer does occassionally check the 'accepted' and 'rejected'. and THANK GOD, he checked the batch that got rejected in. so i guess, THANK GOD again that i uploaded my resume and he probably got curious and opened it. and THANK GOD again he probably got curious in my life and accepted me for the first round of interview.
according to that nsf, so far, no one from an 'external' uni got accepted. so i must be damn lucky and blessed. seriously.
and we're talking like abt 60-80 applicants kinda thing? and yea.. 1st round probably has abt 30 successful applicants. and the next round of interview will be like infront a panel of tua tao senior officers with thousand yrs of work experience and seeing ppl. and the final cut will be abt 15?!
i was totally so not expecting so a high level of competition.
but from what i infer, from my grp of 5, i can honestly tell that i'm the only one who's super passionate abt this job. not that i'm showing halo effect on myself or self-serving bias, but some of other applicants applied for police as well and are open to both job offer. not a bad thing though. but for me, i know i am seriously serious abt this. and when i was asked me what's my plan if i get rejected.. i was like... er.... none? and that really made me worried especially when the interview's not gg to be easy.
yea. the whole interview didn't go as bad. but i knew there was a subtle but strong emphasis on the height issue.
seriously. is not that i want to be short right. and with that, its also not that they can any how accept short ppl who's unable to carry out the training drills... not because she's unfit but just down right short that there's nothing she can do abt it.
it kinda sucks to be short.
but i'm not wanting to let the whole height thing affect me, for i have just enjoyed a student meal w/o with an excuse of forgetting to bring my student pass and accidentally blurted out that i was studying in poly when asked which level was i in. hahs! privileged can.
ok. i just need to get that whole thing out of my chest.
coz right now, i'm so not confident of the whole thing. though i felt it went well for me, u'll really never know. i should not promise myself anything or what, i shouldn't also be so discouraged. so right now, i'm really 50-50. and its been so so so so so long since i've felt so 50-50 abt something. i can't rmbr when was the last time.. but really really long long ago.
OK! so that's the part 1 of this post.
part 2: the havoc wkend
zomg. 3D2N at WILD WILD WET. BIG BIG fan of DOWNTOWN EAST NTUC INCOME AND ALL PLS.
hahas. my family NEVER do chalets/bbq and happy eventful stuff like this ok. its the liews who wanted to celebrated the boy's 2nd bday.hahahs. but nonetheless, i think the poon family had a really great time together. and its not something that the poon familiy will say out loud that hey-i-had-fun-did-you? kinda thing.
i didn't stay both nights. only the first night and on the 2nd night, i had to go home to rest for Run 350.
on the first morng.. with the nice art work that we did.. ahhahs.
major breakfast at KFC. really ALOT of food.
then the ferris wheel that the kids wanted to sit. ahhas..
hahas. then MINI BOWLING! hahhaas. i would have uploaded the vids coz it was hilarious. but just photos' good enough though the true essence of it cannot really be described.
then lunch/brunch/ice-cream. waffles again! totally pigged out. hahas
then the merry-go-round. aka.. horsies. hahas. 6 TIMES YA. so it was like 18 rounds of it?! and they didnt want to leave can! hahas. they bought the $8 ticket so everywhere's like free for them.
hahahs! the girl got the self-applied motorbike. the younger bro got the remote controlled one. HAHAH. HE THINKS THAT HE'S THE ONE DRIVING IT. totally in belief that he's totally driving and controlling the car (when actually its a remote controlled car.- by the father/ melissa )
and while some of them went back to the chalet to rest and prepare for the bbq.. we went wild wild wet! rides were boring much. totally a pri/sec sch thing. (i sound act cool but no, its really boring when u've been through Fantasy Island). hahahs. photos were taken with the underwater camera that i bought. photos up next time!
oh ya! we won some grp challenge. hahahhas. stupid. but i think my rugby agility trngs helped me to kiap the balloon with water between my legs and jump to and fro and hitting a record time of 9 sec w/o dropping. ahhahahhhas
ahhas. totally boomz. and kudos to my photography ya. HHHAHA
BBQ food. whole family not really a bbq grp kinda thing.
and then... the bday! hahhas. everyone totally enjoyed it. wanted to take like a massive family photo coz we have never done it.. but everyone being everyone, didn't want. ahhas. kinda wasted. coz this kind of thing, 10yrs down sure regret more..
more nuaing on the bed and rolling around, totally maximizing the combined forces of the queen sized beds.
the usual 4D numbers picking.
the very next day: Run 350
dun really like runs. BUT. the route + awesome morng sun made it wothwhile. it was great. i hate running long distances. i kept pace till the 7km. then once i reached the 8k water point.. hahhas.. walked all the way and running the last 400m or so. hahahs.
honestly, i was tired la. ahhas. and i just wanted to enjoy the morng sun and beautiful morng sun view. the route was by far, the best ever.
ok.. work
kinda the same. but getting tired. and i've really got no time to edit my photos and make wedding vids. i thought of working till may since i'm so not sure abt the my application for scdf... but nah.. i need time to clear my snowballed stuff!!!
LASTLY: my fitness / trngs
because of the rain/exams.. trng have been cancelled. and because of those rains, i had to work OT anyway to finish my job. i mean i can like stop la. but i wanted to finish them coz i dun like to snowball work when it comes to work-work. hahhaas. i wanna avoid the sianz feeling. ahhas.
so. that's the whole week, totally didnt train.. but i'm starting to go back into ballet alrdy! my ankle's more or less able to take it. but not fully. (:
been trying to gym also. hahas. not much for rugby now. my drive's probably to have a smooth entry into the officer trngs. hahahs. u can be sure to stop all these when i get a rejection email from scdf.
ya. and my agility now is shingz. totally bad. its like a drastic drop that ppl actually noticed. i can also feel that i'm not as agile anymore. i mean like...both my ankles alrdy cuii and i dun think i'm able to get the full range back. ): major sad. but i will not loose hope. ahhahas
and ok. the footnote part of you
still amazingly thinking of u. but able to brush thoughts of u away because i'm really mentally tired from the day's work and that i'm facing more ppl in life, allowing myself to believe that there's more ppl who would appreciate me more than u would. (: thus, spending time thinking abt them would also do myself justice. however having said all those, i think i still wanna meet up with u and catch up with u. like seriously. WHATS GG ON IN UR LIFE?!
hahas. whatever.
OK. long long long post.
probably abt 3k words. spent abt 2 hrs bloggin. totally redeemed myself. so i appreciate u ppl who clicked on my blog, see no updates, and clicked again to finally see this updated post. hahhas. and appreciate u for not speed reading and reading till e end.
(:
thank you for knowing more abt my life.
i've not done any re-read through and spell check so pardon me for my errors. GOOD NIGHT. (:
so i shall be organized and get this gg good! hhahas.
the top of my list: The Interview.
for the Senior Officer position.
it was like... 5 ppl; 4 girls and 1 guy. hahas. we made friends quite quickly. coz we had to fill in like alot of paper work. hhahas. it felt like an hour test. there's like a 200 word long essay.. hahas. asking like what defines a leader/ civil defense officer/ scdf's motto and all. ahhaas. totally liked what i wrote. ahhas. so my kind of thing. did this like of write-ups/ trngs when i was in kc.... when i took part in massive leadership camps and even carried out leadership camps. hahaas. felt like it all got recollected.
then there's a part on the role play. ahhahas! i never knew i'd eventually face a role play interview ever since the whole group of us poly kids made fun of the interview and did it well just for the sake of getting gd grades and not so much as to really learn alot out of it (like how we did our marketing projects). - ok. that' was a really long sentence w/o punction. sry.
the role play was abt this paramedic who won the 'pride and care' award... but because he/she (aka. Gerry) ended his 3-yr relationship, he took a turn and became like a rebellion.. listing down all the faults he done and strong emphasis on the negligence of paper work. hahahas.
so there was i... facing this 'Gerry' who was a NSF. hHAHAHHAAHHAS, and infront of a true-blue senior officer.
omg. scary can.
we're supposed to act like senior officers and show how we approach him. ahhahas. yea. and that true-blue senior officer's like kinda strict. could tell that he was deeply a very nice person inside. but because he's like a senior officer, he had to really emphasize the seriousness of taking up this commitment.
i felt it.
there were a few moments i wanted to cry coz i was really intimidated by him but i was able to take it seriously and laugh it off with a sincere reply. he smiled occassionally. i'm not sure if its because he's happy with my answer/ find my answer silly and childish/ or just genuinely happy with my answer. i really dk.
it was my very first official interview in my life and i think i did relatively well. hahas. because so much was gg on inside me, i'm not able to tell what kind of interviewer is he. usually, i'm able find a suitable response towards a person. but this time round, i knew i had to be truthful to be calm. hahas. and i realized, that i really cannot lie or hide any truths. i didn't want to tell him that i'm recovering from self-esteem issues.. but i just blurted everything out to give myself a proper stand. good or no good, i really don't know. all i rmbr was just being blatantly truthful and positively happy throughout the interview. hahas.
yea. and it was a "why scdf. why not police force? since u like to save ppl, u know here's other outlets like stjohns, mcys... blah blah blah.. so y scdf?"
besides the "define ur kind of leadership style" qns that i found it hard to find a distinctive line... this was the qns that i kinda stuggled with. i know who i am and what kind of leader i am. but i can't find a summative, definitve word to describle my kind so i just said... "lead by example. why scdf? i really duno. i just know its a force that sg can depend on and i wanna be part of it.
its something that i've always been wanting to join and been kping a look out for since o levels. (where my doctor dreams are officially dashed)
so that was it. and i was the first person to get interviewed.
hahas. had spare time. so talked alot with the remaining ppl and 'Gerry' HAHAHAS.(that's not the real name btw).
and found out alot more abt a government-bodied organization like SCDF. made a cool friend- shaoting! hahas. final yr NUS student who's into climbing and knows judith as well. (: hhhahas. small world. and another girl from nyp. another girl who just picked up contact rugby and in bedok kings now. and another guy who graduated from tp long long long time ago, who did marketing in ntu and is working in a marketing related firm now.
ya. ahas. i really know alot of ppl hur. ahhahs.
YA and OMG. i HAVE to say this. i WANNA THANK GOD. i'm really super heing ka sai.
U KNOW, the person who actually sieve out the first batch of ppl to be interviewed is actually a NSF?!- someone who's like not even offically completed ns or tertiary studies?! i was kinda expecting some senior officer with 10,000 yrs work experience to do it to justify the painstaking process that applicants go through.
so basically, what he does is scan through all the applicants, look more at the education part and then click yes or no.
and omg. i was actually REJECTED first because i was from SIM (an external uni- not part of the nus, ntu smu thing.... oh yes.the other 4 applicants are from nus ntu and all.) i was totally underestimating by what everyone meant by 'government-bodied org'. not that its a bad thing. but there are many pros and cons which i cannot comment because i haven't officially gone through it right. so it wouldn't be a fair statement.
so ya. as i was saying. i kena rejected. BUT. the senior officer does occassionally check the 'accepted' and 'rejected'. and THANK GOD, he checked the batch that got rejected in. so i guess, THANK GOD again that i uploaded my resume and he probably got curious and opened it. and THANK GOD again he probably got curious in my life and accepted me for the first round of interview.
according to that nsf, so far, no one from an 'external' uni got accepted. so i must be damn lucky and blessed. seriously.
and we're talking like abt 60-80 applicants kinda thing? and yea.. 1st round probably has abt 30 successful applicants. and the next round of interview will be like infront a panel of tua tao senior officers with thousand yrs of work experience and seeing ppl. and the final cut will be abt 15?!
i was totally so not expecting so a high level of competition.
but from what i infer, from my grp of 5, i can honestly tell that i'm the only one who's super passionate abt this job. not that i'm showing halo effect on myself or self-serving bias, but some of other applicants applied for police as well and are open to both job offer. not a bad thing though. but for me, i know i am seriously serious abt this. and when i was asked me what's my plan if i get rejected.. i was like... er.... none? and that really made me worried especially when the interview's not gg to be easy.
yea. the whole interview didn't go as bad. but i knew there was a subtle but strong emphasis on the height issue.
seriously. is not that i want to be short right. and with that, its also not that they can any how accept short ppl who's unable to carry out the training drills... not because she's unfit but just down right short that there's nothing she can do abt it.
it kinda sucks to be short.
but i'm not wanting to let the whole height thing affect me, for i have just enjoyed a student meal w/o with an excuse of forgetting to bring my student pass and accidentally blurted out that i was studying in poly when asked which level was i in. hahs! privileged can.
ok. i just need to get that whole thing out of my chest.
coz right now, i'm so not confident of the whole thing. though i felt it went well for me, u'll really never know. i should not promise myself anything or what, i shouldn't also be so discouraged. so right now, i'm really 50-50. and its been so so so so so long since i've felt so 50-50 abt something. i can't rmbr when was the last time.. but really really long long ago.
OK! so that's the part 1 of this post.
part 2: the havoc wkend
zomg. 3D2N at WILD WILD WET. BIG BIG fan of DOWNTOWN EAST NTUC INCOME AND ALL PLS.
hahas. my family NEVER do chalets/bbq and happy eventful stuff like this ok. its the liews who wanted to celebrated the boy's 2nd bday.hahahs. but nonetheless, i think the poon family had a really great time together. and its not something that the poon familiy will say out loud that hey-i-had-fun-did-you? kinda thing.
i didn't stay both nights. only the first night and on the 2nd night, i had to go home to rest for Run 350.
on the first morng.. with the nice art work that we did.. ahhahs.
major breakfast at KFC. really ALOT of food.
then the ferris wheel that the kids wanted to sit. ahhas..
hahas. then MINI BOWLING! hahhaas. i would have uploaded the vids coz it was hilarious. but just photos' good enough though the true essence of it cannot really be described.
then lunch/brunch/ice-cream. waffles again! totally pigged out. hahas
then the merry-go-round. aka.. horsies. hahas. 6 TIMES YA. so it was like 18 rounds of it?! and they didnt want to leave can! hahas. they bought the $8 ticket so everywhere's like free for them.
hahahs! the girl got the self-applied motorbike. the younger bro got the remote controlled one. HAHAH. HE THINKS THAT HE'S THE ONE DRIVING IT. totally in belief that he's totally driving and controlling the car (when actually its a remote controlled car.- by the father/ melissa )
and while some of them went back to the chalet to rest and prepare for the bbq.. we went wild wild wet! rides were boring much. totally a pri/sec sch thing. (i sound act cool but no, its really boring when u've been through Fantasy Island). hahahs. photos were taken with the underwater camera that i bought. photos up next time!
oh ya! we won some grp challenge. hahahhas. stupid. but i think my rugby agility trngs helped me to kiap the balloon with water between my legs and jump to and fro and hitting a record time of 9 sec w/o dropping. ahhahahhhas
ahhas. totally boomz. and kudos to my photography ya. HHHAHA
BBQ food. whole family not really a bbq grp kinda thing.
and then... the bday! hahhas. everyone totally enjoyed it. wanted to take like a massive family photo coz we have never done it.. but everyone being everyone, didn't want. ahhas. kinda wasted. coz this kind of thing, 10yrs down sure regret more..
more nuaing on the bed and rolling around, totally maximizing the combined forces of the queen sized beds.
the usual 4D numbers picking.
the very next day: Run 350
dun really like runs. BUT. the route + awesome morng sun made it wothwhile. it was great. i hate running long distances. i kept pace till the 7km. then once i reached the 8k water point.. hahhas.. walked all the way and running the last 400m or so. hahahs.
honestly, i was tired la. ahhas. and i just wanted to enjoy the morng sun and beautiful morng sun view. the route was by far, the best ever.
ok.. work
kinda the same. but getting tired. and i've really got no time to edit my photos and make wedding vids. i thought of working till may since i'm so not sure abt the my application for scdf... but nah.. i need time to clear my snowballed stuff!!!
LASTLY: my fitness / trngs
because of the rain/exams.. trng have been cancelled. and because of those rains, i had to work OT anyway to finish my job. i mean i can like stop la. but i wanted to finish them coz i dun like to snowball work when it comes to work-work. hahhaas. i wanna avoid the sianz feeling. ahhas.
so. that's the whole week, totally didnt train.. but i'm starting to go back into ballet alrdy! my ankle's more or less able to take it. but not fully. (:
been trying to gym also. hahas. not much for rugby now. my drive's probably to have a smooth entry into the officer trngs. hahahs. u can be sure to stop all these when i get a rejection email from scdf.
ya. and my agility now is shingz. totally bad. its like a drastic drop that ppl actually noticed. i can also feel that i'm not as agile anymore. i mean like...both my ankles alrdy cuii and i dun think i'm able to get the full range back. ): major sad. but i will not loose hope. ahhahas
and ok. the footnote part of you
still amazingly thinking of u. but able to brush thoughts of u away because i'm really mentally tired from the day's work and that i'm facing more ppl in life, allowing myself to believe that there's more ppl who would appreciate me more than u would. (: thus, spending time thinking abt them would also do myself justice. however having said all those, i think i still wanna meet up with u and catch up with u. like seriously. WHATS GG ON IN UR LIFE?!
hahas. whatever.
OK. long long long post.
probably abt 3k words. spent abt 2 hrs bloggin. totally redeemed myself. so i appreciate u ppl who clicked on my blog, see no updates, and clicked again to finally see this updated post. hahhas. and appreciate u for not speed reading and reading till e end.
(:
thank you for knowing more abt my life.
i've not done any re-read through and spell check so pardon me for my errors. GOOD NIGHT. (:
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
a call
i got a call from scdf for interview! (:
yes ah! ahahas.
it's like the 1st part of the interview called the Simulation Assessment. hahas.
yes ah! ahahas.
it's like the 1st part of the interview called the Simulation Assessment. hahas.
Monday, April 11, 2011
major hanging out wkend
sat was social touch.
wanted to go for the scdf community bonding day but didn't know it ended at 3pm. so when i reached, everything was like packed up. ):
then met up with tp ppl for dinner at food for thought.
how awesome.
then KTV at bedok princess. cheap and good.
[insert photos soon. hahas.]
then today morng,
DIM SUM date at sunshine plaza at 10am.
then hanged around bugis and all with the photographers. so fun to just hang out with them. 5D mark I is boomz.
[photos tmr]
then dinner with church friends at nando's at ps.
i carried my helmet along with me, depsite not liking ppl carrying their helmets around.
then chill out at starbucks.
seriously.
no rugby wkend, but i had time to spend with 4 groups of pp.
and i wanna thank God for that. (:
things i wanna get:
- freitag bag
- panasonic FT-2
- domke J-2
and really, i WILL stop spending my first pay from this new co / my GST payback from tua tao lau pa of sg.
i will save up for HK.
i will see if HK's stuff there's cheaper.
i will work harder for more $$$$$.
hahas.
and still, i will stop thinking of you.
(:
wanted to go for the scdf community bonding day but didn't know it ended at 3pm. so when i reached, everything was like packed up. ):
then met up with tp ppl for dinner at food for thought.
how awesome.
then KTV at bedok princess. cheap and good.
[insert photos soon. hahas.]
then today morng,
DIM SUM date at sunshine plaza at 10am.
then hanged around bugis and all with the photographers. so fun to just hang out with them. 5D mark I is boomz.
then dinner with church friends at nando's at ps.
i carried my helmet along with me, depsite not liking ppl carrying their helmets around.
then chill out at starbucks.
seriously.
no rugby wkend, but i had time to spend with 4 groups of pp.
and i wanna thank God for that. (:
things i wanna get:
- freitag bag
- panasonic FT-2
- domke J-2
and really, i WILL stop spending my first pay from this new co / my GST payback from tua tao lau pa of sg.
i will save up for HK.
i will see if HK's stuff there's cheaper.
i will work harder for more $$$$$.
hahas.
and still, i will stop thinking of you.
(:
Saturday, April 09, 2011
work so busy
yea.
so busy that i didn't go trng.
and just today, i wanted to redeem myself by gg jogging but instead, i bought myself a jnr cone of Andersen's ice cream.
cannot ah.
work hard coz of $. and 2ndly, my colleagues all like very nice ah.. so i dun wanna screw up since i'm gonna work till end april only. some more, there's this collegue.. she's somewhat like me... the pattern like all the same ah. ahhahas. but much more older la. ahhas. but she's really patient to teach me all the steps and all.
if i've not explained much abt my job.... hahas. okok. i'm a field technician. so i'm supposed to like programme, re-programme all the software and all. basically, we're like the middle-man in the transactions between the bank and shops. we handle all those credit card, visa terminals and all. yea.
there's actually alot of backend work and tmd lots of terminals in singapore. the technology is not that great to like.. press one button so all the terminals in singapore can be updated and stuff. we still need to go down to the merchants and re-programme and all.
hahas. but quite cool. i've got a american express card with me. HAHA. no la. it just a test card. can be used la. ahhahahaas. but ok la. for the fun of it, try and feel good to own one (test) card now. hahas.
bought new helmet today.
sticked on my remaining last fav sticker.
i'm so not done with all the wedding photos and vids. abit stressed, but i know i can do it.
still not updates from the 3 job applications for my future. hahhas. (snr officer, paramedic, airport emergency officer).
yea. along those lines la. hahas.
but apparently, my job application status for paramedic is unsuccessful. ok..
abit scary. but keeping my fingers' crossed. i do not want to miss this intake. as much i'm quite very ok with my current temp job, i still want a brighter prospect ya. ahhas
i'm really excited for june and what's installed for me.
but at the same time, i know the end is coming near. the weather is really changing. usually in april, it will be tmd hot. i mean, ya, it is still hot. but i believe singapore is capable of being hotter. there's so much wind going on and random rains in this mid-year.
ok! off to do stuff now.
hahas. 1 wk nv blog man. hahhas.
but it seems that when i'm working, i am happier.. coz i guess i'm more pre-occupied and more goal-oriented. this give me less time to 胡思乱想 .. but yea, i still have to admit that at least everyday, i still would think abt u. i'm really not sure if at this stage right now i'm really concerned for u or it is just a habit that's being programmed in my mind.
oh wells. i'm still gg to rely on time to heal the wound. i know it has taken like 4-5 yrs alrdy. i kinda lost count. but whatever. hahas. have faith and keep praying. (:
so busy that i didn't go trng.
and just today, i wanted to redeem myself by gg jogging but instead, i bought myself a jnr cone of Andersen's ice cream.
cannot ah.
work hard coz of $. and 2ndly, my colleagues all like very nice ah.. so i dun wanna screw up since i'm gonna work till end april only. some more, there's this collegue.. she's somewhat like me... the pattern like all the same ah. ahhahas. but much more older la. ahhas. but she's really patient to teach me all the steps and all.
if i've not explained much abt my job.... hahas. okok. i'm a field technician. so i'm supposed to like programme, re-programme all the software and all. basically, we're like the middle-man in the transactions between the bank and shops. we handle all those credit card, visa terminals and all. yea.
there's actually alot of backend work and tmd lots of terminals in singapore. the technology is not that great to like.. press one button so all the terminals in singapore can be updated and stuff. we still need to go down to the merchants and re-programme and all.
hahas. but quite cool. i've got a american express card with me. HAHA. no la. it just a test card. can be used la. ahhahahaas. but ok la. for the fun of it, try and feel good to own one (test) card now. hahas.
bought new helmet today.
sticked on my remaining last fav sticker.
i'm so not done with all the wedding photos and vids. abit stressed, but i know i can do it.
still not updates from the 3 job applications for my future. hahhas. (snr officer, paramedic, airport emergency officer).
yea. along those lines la. hahas.
but apparently, my job application status for paramedic is unsuccessful. ok..
abit scary. but keeping my fingers' crossed. i do not want to miss this intake. as much i'm quite very ok with my current temp job, i still want a brighter prospect ya. ahhas
i'm really excited for june and what's installed for me.
but at the same time, i know the end is coming near. the weather is really changing. usually in april, it will be tmd hot. i mean, ya, it is still hot. but i believe singapore is capable of being hotter. there's so much wind going on and random rains in this mid-year.
ok! off to do stuff now.
hahas. 1 wk nv blog man. hahhas.
but it seems that when i'm working, i am happier.. coz i guess i'm more pre-occupied and more goal-oriented. this give me less time to 胡思乱想 .. but yea, i still have to admit that at least everyday, i still would think abt u. i'm really not sure if at this stage right now i'm really concerned for u or it is just a habit that's being programmed in my mind.
oh wells. i'm still gg to rely on time to heal the wound. i know it has taken like 4-5 yrs alrdy. i kinda lost count. but whatever. hahas. have faith and keep praying. (:
Monday, April 04, 2011
MY HELMET GOT STOLEN
wah lau.
super upset.
i dont usually lock my helmet unless i'm away for a long time. i parked at plaza singapura and LOCKED my helmet.
then want to go home that time.. MY HELMET NOT THERE. basket. my seat kenna forced open and my helmet kena taken away.
panicked abit. coz i didn't want to spend $$ to cab to and fro to take helmet. abit stupid.
some options: cab home and back, trouble my biker friends, or go steal someone else's helmet. Ok, I know i won't steal.
so called up jeric to ask him to save me. hahas.
yea. and just like a courier service (his forte), he like came in 10mins, just after i ride from lvl3 to lvl2 carpark.
owe him one darn good dinner.
upset coz its just so stupid.
its my FIRST HELMET. MY FAV HELMET. WITH ALL MY FAV STICKERS.
got $$ also cannot buy back ah. ARGH. angsty.
somemore at PS luh. i can park at pavement at jurong or bugis or anywhere else, not lock it and also no one take. so upsettinggg! some more i locked it up can. how stupid can it get.
sorry. just gg to rant on and rant on coz i'm on my way to be noted as angstypoony@hotmail.com.
hahas. looking back its quite stupid. just this wk alone, had 4 groups of friends talking abt ppl stealing helmets. was talking to bel and ching abt it early this wk. was talking abt it with all the bikers at work. was talking to regina abt it at turf city also. was talking to church friends today abt it. i so had it coming la. i should start being more.. erm.. noticeable... as in like.. being able to notice such foreshadowing signs.
UGH.
APART from that, it was a good day luh. went church leh! catch up with happy friends. (:
been loooong since we've hung out. maybe since like 2 yrs ago kind? like hang out, chill out on a sunday after church kinda thing. u know, i really enjoyed it.
coz its also been so long that i.. go out. like not just to work/trng or like dinner after trng. but the no-plans kinda go out.
played cranium (the card style) at starbucks. hahas. rubbish man. but damn fun. ahhahs.
ok luh. feel like tired also. ahahhas. like no stamina to go out all day long like that. ahhahahahas.
so one wk passed alrdy. still looking forward to start working properly as a full-timer... like commit to the job kinda thing.. (:
COME WHAT JUNE!
ok. 2am alrdy. should go slp ya. tmr 9am work!!!
super upset.
i dont usually lock my helmet unless i'm away for a long time. i parked at plaza singapura and LOCKED my helmet.
then want to go home that time.. MY HELMET NOT THERE. basket. my seat kenna forced open and my helmet kena taken away.
panicked abit. coz i didn't want to spend $$ to cab to and fro to take helmet. abit stupid.
some options: cab home and back, trouble my biker friends, or go steal someone else's helmet. Ok, I know i won't steal.
so called up jeric to ask him to save me. hahas.
yea. and just like a courier service (his forte), he like came in 10mins, just after i ride from lvl3 to lvl2 carpark.
owe him one darn good dinner.
upset coz its just so stupid.
its my FIRST HELMET. MY FAV HELMET. WITH ALL MY FAV STICKERS.
got $$ also cannot buy back ah. ARGH. angsty.
somemore at PS luh. i can park at pavement at jurong or bugis or anywhere else, not lock it and also no one take. so upsettinggg! some more i locked it up can. how stupid can it get.
sorry. just gg to rant on and rant on coz i'm on my way to be noted as angstypoony@hotmail.com.
hahas. looking back its quite stupid. just this wk alone, had 4 groups of friends talking abt ppl stealing helmets. was talking to bel and ching abt it early this wk. was talking abt it with all the bikers at work. was talking to regina abt it at turf city also. was talking to church friends today abt it. i so had it coming la. i should start being more.. erm.. noticeable... as in like.. being able to notice such foreshadowing signs.
UGH.
APART from that, it was a good day luh. went church leh! catch up with happy friends. (:
been loooong since we've hung out. maybe since like 2 yrs ago kind? like hang out, chill out on a sunday after church kinda thing. u know, i really enjoyed it.
coz its also been so long that i.. go out. like not just to work/trng or like dinner after trng. but the no-plans kinda go out.
played cranium (the card style) at starbucks. hahas. rubbish man. but damn fun. ahhahs.
ok luh. feel like tired also. ahahhas. like no stamina to go out all day long like that. ahhahahahas.
so one wk passed alrdy. still looking forward to start working properly as a full-timer... like commit to the job kinda thing.. (:
COME WHAT JUNE!
ok. 2am alrdy. should go slp ya. tmr 9am work!!!
Sunday, April 03, 2011
Friday, April 01, 2011
I COULD HAVE BEEN HIT TODAY
ok. by far, this is the most... close shave one can.
on PIE... slightly before eng neo exit.
traffic was smooth. was abt 5pm and office peak wasn't really on yet.
was on lane 1. had quite a no. of bikes on that lane usually. infront of me was a biker that was travelling quite slowly for lane one. probably at 80-90km/h. phantom bike if i rmbr correctly. lane 2 on my left was clear. so i signalled, checked blindspot and did all the right things to overtake.
but up ahead, could see tt traffic was slow infront. so i started to slow down to 70km/h and moved to the lane 1&2 inbetween, how bikes would usually do. a red taxi whizzed past me on my right.. probably at a 110km/h? from abt 15m (or abt 2 car length) away, i saw the taxi's brake lights on. i roughly estimate his speed to have slowed down till 70km/h. i had this feeling the taxi's goona change out to lane 2. though it did not signal nor turn his taxi an inch, i just had this gut feeling that this taxi's gg be reckless.
i pre-eempted it and reduced my speed to abt 65km/h. not fast to be over confident, and not too slow to be loose that ability to be able to escape danger.
so as i approach the taxi with care, i knew that i was at the same time, approaching his blindspot. if he had be more dilligent in checking his blindspot, he would know the whole string of bikers. probably like 5-6 bikers quite behind me so that was no reason for him to try and be funny. but infact, since he has passed all the bikers while speeding on lane one, he would for sure, know our presence.
so there. just reached his blindspot. and true enough, HE ABRUPTLY TRY TO CHANGE LANE. not the gently kind ya. but the sudden turn of his taxi while still in motion. THANK God and His angels that i was pretty much embracing the whole thing and being at a 100% focused level though i was tired from a day's work. so i did a super fast quick glance on my left view mirror (check or no check, i know i'd still be swerving out to avoid the taxi anyway), and yes, swerved out and back in, together with a long and annoying squeeky-high-pitched horn (constantly reminding myself not to clutch in- my bad habit) it was a side-step kinda thing. i swerved out just enough to avoid the taxi and at the same time, try and keep a distance from lane 2. so THANK God again, there wasn't any car on my left.
i rmbring having to keep my right knee and calf as close to my bike as i could and felt the light brush of the taxi's rear. was kinda afraid my back tyre/box couldn't make it. but i did. so really, AMEN.
but i knew it wasn't over for the bikers behind. just as i was trying to recollect myself and understand the whole situation, i heard a screeched from a tyre.
it wasn't like a major car screeched, but a soft one and i knew tt it was made by a bike.
i looked at my right mirror and saw the bike hit the taxi and the guy fell out of his bike.
at that moment. i was like.. OMG. IT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. should i stop by the side and help him and go back to be his witness/ re-assess the whole situtaion or what. but i was on lane 1 and i couldn't gather my thoughts properly. then the sight of the biker falling down was like imbedded in my mind and my legs started feeling very cold and my had chills down my spine. my hands almost turn numb and my limbs just felt weak. i just concentrated on making that clementi exit and reach SIM asap.
i just need to sit down and digest the whole damn thing.
everything happened so fast, but i dont rmbr the guy flying from his bike at dangerous heights. but his bike went down and he was out from his bike. i rmbr the lanes behind me were clear. cars on lane 1, 2 and 3 had stopped. i dont think he was ran over or what, nor, i can't rmbr if its he stalled his engine or hit the side of the taxi which i most probably think it's the reason.
when i reached SIM, i tried to brush the whole thing off coz it was arldy 5.30pm and i wanted to see the career booth by scdf. but i think they packed up early left, though it was said that they would be there till 6pm. i tried to find caroline to just catch up with her and at the same time, talk to someone and get all the anxiety out of me using words.. but she wasn't in school! ):
the whole office moved to the new block and its like.. students can no longer enter the room. ):
ok. so i was still very jumpy and all over the place. i went to the foyer to just sit down, pull everything together with the help from cornflakes that i always carry in my bag for snack.
i was thinking like... was it my fault? could i have done anything to help the situation? or in the first place, could i have not done anything to prevent it from the first place? was it wrong for me to leave the scene like that? does it even concern me? omg the guy how!?
rmbring that SIM has wifi, i took out my itouch and frantically clicked on 'TraffiCam' app that shows u the traffic conditions on the expressways. i clicked to view the PIE towards jurong images, anxiously hitting the 'refresh' button. as expected (didnt want to see such), PIE towards jurong had a jam alrdy. the stretch probably after thomson/mount peasant till just before eng neo exit.
reflecting my road behaviour, my best solution is probably to be on lane 2 so that the taxi could have seen me and not try and change lane like that. then again, wouldn't that be a risk if he doesn't even check his mirror? but doing what 95% of the bikers would do, it was really something that i wont 'will-not-do' as a biker.
ok. i am not trying to say i'm skilled. but i think what i did was really the best thing i could have done then. and really, if it wasn't God's grace, i dun know if i'll be sleeping on my bed tonight.
i hate it when i have to regain road confidence again. but i think its a good wake up call to have a best balance of efficiency as a biker and at the same time, being safe at all times. i do admit, sometimes i can have that road-ego in me. and really, its not that i want to, but i think its something that all users of the road have? and it will always be something that i have to try and rmbr not to let it out from the box.
OK. Application for officer done! applied for paramedic also... just in case. HAHAs.
and u know what......... the scdf website doesn't update the "apply now" button. NO WONDER CANNOT APPLY. OMG. HAIZZZ.
heing i check out at jobstreet.com ah!! if i miss the application, i can just DIE TTM MAN.
on PIE... slightly before eng neo exit.
traffic was smooth. was abt 5pm and office peak wasn't really on yet.
was on lane 1. had quite a no. of bikes on that lane usually. infront of me was a biker that was travelling quite slowly for lane one. probably at 80-90km/h. phantom bike if i rmbr correctly. lane 2 on my left was clear. so i signalled, checked blindspot and did all the right things to overtake.
but up ahead, could see tt traffic was slow infront. so i started to slow down to 70km/h and moved to the lane 1&2 inbetween, how bikes would usually do. a red taxi whizzed past me on my right.. probably at a 110km/h? from abt 15m (or abt 2 car length) away, i saw the taxi's brake lights on. i roughly estimate his speed to have slowed down till 70km/h. i had this feeling the taxi's goona change out to lane 2. though it did not signal nor turn his taxi an inch, i just had this gut feeling that this taxi's gg be reckless.
i pre-eempted it and reduced my speed to abt 65km/h. not fast to be over confident, and not too slow to be loose that ability to be able to escape danger.
so as i approach the taxi with care, i knew that i was at the same time, approaching his blindspot. if he had be more dilligent in checking his blindspot, he would know the whole string of bikers. probably like 5-6 bikers quite behind me so that was no reason for him to try and be funny. but infact, since he has passed all the bikers while speeding on lane one, he would for sure, know our presence.
so there. just reached his blindspot. and true enough, HE ABRUPTLY TRY TO CHANGE LANE. not the gently kind ya. but the sudden turn of his taxi while still in motion. THANK God and His angels that i was pretty much embracing the whole thing and being at a 100% focused level though i was tired from a day's work. so i did a super fast quick glance on my left view mirror (check or no check, i know i'd still be swerving out to avoid the taxi anyway), and yes, swerved out and back in, together with a long and annoying squeeky-high-pitched horn (constantly reminding myself not to clutch in- my bad habit) it was a side-step kinda thing. i swerved out just enough to avoid the taxi and at the same time, try and keep a distance from lane 2. so THANK God again, there wasn't any car on my left.
i rmbring having to keep my right knee and calf as close to my bike as i could and felt the light brush of the taxi's rear. was kinda afraid my back tyre/box couldn't make it. but i did. so really, AMEN.
but i knew it wasn't over for the bikers behind. just as i was trying to recollect myself and understand the whole situation, i heard a screeched from a tyre.
it wasn't like a major car screeched, but a soft one and i knew tt it was made by a bike.
i looked at my right mirror and saw the bike hit the taxi and the guy fell out of his bike.
at that moment. i was like.. OMG. IT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. should i stop by the side and help him and go back to be his witness/ re-assess the whole situtaion or what. but i was on lane 1 and i couldn't gather my thoughts properly. then the sight of the biker falling down was like imbedded in my mind and my legs started feeling very cold and my had chills down my spine. my hands almost turn numb and my limbs just felt weak. i just concentrated on making that clementi exit and reach SIM asap.
i just need to sit down and digest the whole damn thing.
everything happened so fast, but i dont rmbr the guy flying from his bike at dangerous heights. but his bike went down and he was out from his bike. i rmbr the lanes behind me were clear. cars on lane 1, 2 and 3 had stopped. i dont think he was ran over or what, nor, i can't rmbr if its he stalled his engine or hit the side of the taxi which i most probably think it's the reason.
when i reached SIM, i tried to brush the whole thing off coz it was arldy 5.30pm and i wanted to see the career booth by scdf. but i think they packed up early left, though it was said that they would be there till 6pm. i tried to find caroline to just catch up with her and at the same time, talk to someone and get all the anxiety out of me using words.. but she wasn't in school! ):
the whole office moved to the new block and its like.. students can no longer enter the room. ):
ok. so i was still very jumpy and all over the place. i went to the foyer to just sit down, pull everything together with the help from cornflakes that i always carry in my bag for snack.
i was thinking like... was it my fault? could i have done anything to help the situation? or in the first place, could i have not done anything to prevent it from the first place? was it wrong for me to leave the scene like that? does it even concern me? omg the guy how!?
rmbring that SIM has wifi, i took out my itouch and frantically clicked on 'TraffiCam' app that shows u the traffic conditions on the expressways. i clicked to view the PIE towards jurong images, anxiously hitting the 'refresh' button. as expected (didnt want to see such), PIE towards jurong had a jam alrdy. the stretch probably after thomson/mount peasant till just before eng neo exit.
reflecting my road behaviour, my best solution is probably to be on lane 2 so that the taxi could have seen me and not try and change lane like that. then again, wouldn't that be a risk if he doesn't even check his mirror? but doing what 95% of the bikers would do, it was really something that i wont 'will-not-do' as a biker.
ok. i am not trying to say i'm skilled. but i think what i did was really the best thing i could have done then. and really, if it wasn't God's grace, i dun know if i'll be sleeping on my bed tonight.
i hate it when i have to regain road confidence again. but i think its a good wake up call to have a best balance of efficiency as a biker and at the same time, being safe at all times. i do admit, sometimes i can have that road-ego in me. and really, its not that i want to, but i think its something that all users of the road have? and it will always be something that i have to try and rmbr not to let it out from the box.
OK. Application for officer done! applied for paramedic also... just in case. HAHAs.
and u know what......... the scdf website doesn't update the "apply now" button. NO WONDER CANNOT APPLY. OMG. HAIZZZ.
heing i check out at jobstreet.com ah!! if i miss the application, i can just DIE TTM MAN.
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