80% HP

HAHAS.
what a fast recovery hurh.


u know why?
ytd, i gluped down like godknowshowmuch litres of water and my rate of gg to the toliet: 5/hr.
took 2 panadol flu max... but it didn't work.. so mum digged out the old medicine and stuffed them all to me.

i mean like. i didn't take 2 wks leave to be sick man!



but ytd was bad.
so uncomfotable. cold sweat. fever. and i think i used up a box of tissue. friends who know me, i always use tissue sparingly. (i can like use one tissue to last me the whole fitness session) hahas. so to use a box of tissue, i have no idea how much water i've lost through my nostrils.



there was sim touch trng last night.
i intended to go. but it was rainning so heavily and i felt dizzy. i wanted to go there, try to train or at least watch them train.
but when i walked to my room to change, i almost lost my footing and mum was like "dont tell me u're gg trng".
ahhas.
she's like... rain so heavy u better not ride out.


so yea, i was left at home.
but ok luh. gd thing i listened, coz i was really feeling damn uncomfortable and dizzy dizzy.




so yes. i'm so much better now.
never have i put in so much effort to take care of myself though. hahas.
thur and fri's the recital. i dont want to be unwell to do it man.
i've already missed so much trngs coz of rehearsals alrdy man.


come on come on! last lap for the year.

ill

oh man. i am sick. as in..
i've caught the flu bug and have been shivering!
must be last wk's deliveries in the rain.
grrrr.


so trng's at 4pm today. i thought maybe i just bring my boots down, see the sun and field, might be all ok to train.
but when i reached there, still felt very unwell, dizzy and uncomfortably cold despite the hot sun.

so, i didn't train.
was quite upset and GEK SIM coz they were doing stuff that i've always wanted to train on. ladders, tackle drills and port runs.
TMD. i tried to get alot out from the trng by watching and secretly listening by the side... understanding is one thing, and actually doing it is another.
was just damn sian.
so i kept drinking water. i duno what the link.. but i just kept drinking water. hahas.



dinner was just the few of us.
rode home, and managed to reach home safely though i was shaking alot when otw home.
thank God.
btw, there was an accident involving a car and bike just at the turn into my estate and there were a few onlookers. so it kinda like reminded me again, to be safe, and to thank God for keeping me safe despite feeeling so unwell to ride.



Blacks gg up to HK for tour in JAN! (:
bad news: it's right smack inbetween IVP touch- semis and finals. )): which means, i've gotta be discipline, skip the extended period of leisure and enjoyment, and fly back and play the finals.
the team can probably do w/o me, but since its the first IVP that we're serious abt, i think its good that i be discipline in my decision making.




-





sometimes, i feel so uninvolved.
i shouldn't expect anything from anything or anyone.. but things, ppl and situations become different and i need to start enjoying myself and be confident of who i am.
i know its really time that i start growing up and not act as if i'm like reverse-growing.
i really feel that my thoughts are more matured and positive n the past than now. one of the examples would be like.. in the not too distant past, i always put others before me. i like helping ppl unconditionally, expecting nothing in return; perhaps just a happy receiver. but now, its like.. i tend to get very inward thinking.. i think abt my convenience, my benefits and me.

though at times, i really do get my benefits and all.. honestly, am i really genuinely happy?




u konw, i really really can't wait for the new year this time round. i'm really looking foward to a new beginning.
i need this new-year-distinction to set the past apart.
i just need this boost.





anyways. today's ur 20th.
i sincerely hope that u've had a great one. noticed that many of ur friends wished u happy birthday... happy for u coz i think not many of us and the friends have heard from u since u've went into army.
i also didn't really wished to have spent the day with u coz i just want u to be really happy, but i do hope that u're reminded of friends who care for you and really wish you well. i also pray that you too, will continue to be a beacon of light like u've always been; a leader, brother and friend that ppl can look up to u in times of need.

so, happy birthday, and have a great one. (:



i, miss you.

Guiness Rugby 15s

the men's season kicked off today...
first game of the season! conference and championship matches between Blacks and acsoba...
first game for Blacks for some.


photos taken with THE canon's S90. ahhas; from the grandstand. happy happy only.


kim came down today! (: happy to see her after months man..


then after the very hot sunny day, it rain massively.
it made them looked as if they were playing in a muddy fountain.
omgs! idk how/why he delievered to yck stadium to save hungry souls despite the rain! is IVIC seeing this?! (we're not suppose to deliver in the rain as big as this!! bet he's secretly cursing and swearing) respect man. hahahhas.











so yup.. morng went for dance. that probably sums up my day.
and its past midnight. its ur bday!
happy birthday!
finally hit the 2 mark huh. ahhas. all the best in ur life endavours. may u enjoy NS and learn as much as u can and excel with ur leadership skills ya.
still praying for you.

SIM Sports Awards Night

hey! some photos first...

i've got Sportswoman of the Year! (:


claimed by sUNIg medals. (: been a pretty gd season. but i didn't play for contact sunig though. coz it clashed with bowling.
so take it as for the achievements in Bali 7s.


event held in Lt1-10
sent the AUG atheletes off! hahahhas. all the best to raymond (bowling) and cheryl (bball) (:


HAHAH. this is the GOH.
i can't rmbr his name... but he's damn charming. ahhahas. his voice is damn charming! when he walked up to the stage and started to speak, there was a wave of "woooohhharr" in the audience. hahahas. even the guys. ahhaas. he's like a sports psychologist and also a sportsman. can't really rmbr what he said coz his voice was too charming and distracting. hahahas. but he's funny and encouraging and seem to understand sportsmen of our age (maybe coz he's a psychologist..)


so... we started off with the Team Awards.
there's 3 kinds.. Team Merit (5 teams), Outstanding Teams (3 teams), and Team of the Year (1 team).. if i rmbr correctly.

rugby and touch achieved the Team Merit Award! (:





bowling had the Outstanding Team Award! (:


it was actually quite exciting. coz none of the teams know what they are gonna get. hahas.

bel shi clair and mine! hahas. (:


then for the individual awards..



got the hear his voice twice! hahahhahas.


then was for Sportsman/woman of the year. hahas.
the nominees. ahhas. i know all of them!!! hahhhhahas.
abit malu tt that put down all my sports arh! and actually the ruggers are also touch football ppl. peixuan from the camp .. nicole! hahas. kc + sa friend. (: and the rest are my team mates. ahhas.



and haha.. i got it!
i was actually very surprised and genuinely didn't expect it at all. coz i didn't nominate myself or whatsoever. and really, there are other athletes in SIM who excel so much more than me. (will elaborate on that later..)


and delong got the sportsman of the year. he's from dragonboat. ahhas. also from TP and his bday's like one day after mine!


i thought $$cash. ahhas. but ok luh.. $100 vouchers for maximuscle that expires in dec. hahas. probably


and so.. the team of the yrea went to dragonboat team as they've won the prestigious President's Cup challenge or smth like that.



ahhahs. some of the sports leaders gathered together and take photo.. macham like some sports team. but a very happy grp of ppl though! hahas. (:





took photo with the sportsman of the yr...


dinner was at the foyer this yr. ahhahs. more ppl and more budget as compared to last year! hahhahas.







teehee. (:





ok.
really didnt expect to get the sportswoman of the year. i mean like.. there are so much other athletes who have performed excellently; not just for SIM but for the nation as well. i dun want to get the award just because i take part in 3 sports under SIM... its like jack of all trades but masters of none kinda thing. but ya la, i did have a good season.
been really down during trng for the last 3 wks, (with Dance Arts recital coming up in 6 days!) and basically, just have been struggling alot with myself, and even really on the verge of considerations of quitting. so this award is really very timely.

its really a great encouragement for me and moral booster for me. hopefully issues of self-esteem probs can just go away after like 5 yrs or smth. hahas.

hazards

my posts are so snip shots nowadays.


ok.
have been working. and dancing more then i play rugby. have actually missed 2 trngs coz of dance.
not that i didn't plan to go, but just really couldn't make it on time.



faced new challenges on the roads once again.
another learning experience was the one at the downslope entry to the carpark of singpost.
been posted to there. hahas.
so it was downslope. tried to keep safe distance alrdy. infront of me was a mini lorry (those commonly used to put goods).
the lorry could not decide where to go. he inched out of the slope to turn left.. but i think he wanted to turn right.
then.. i saw the reverse light on. i was like... EH. (i was like just behind ya) HAHAS. and i HORN LIKE MAD. all kinds of rhythm. beeeeeep beep beep beeeppppppppp beep beep beep. but the driver like deaf of something. so it was like watching a mini horror movie, as the lorry reverse closer and closer to u. hahha. and on downslope, bikes can reverse ya. i dun think any guy's possible to do that either. ahas. i cant turnout/left/right coz the lorry's in a wierd position and i'm just like.. stuck in a way.
so i think the car behind me also kena scared.. he help me horn his life away.
hahhas
stupid lorry.. STILL continue to reverse sia.
so i literally embraced myself for attack. ahhas. (got the i'm-gonna-get-tackled-feeling) hahas. i put both legs firmly down on the ground and grip my handlebars tight. i didn't think of running away though.
so indeed, the back of the lorry hit my light and SCRATCHED it... only then he realized i was behind.
like... thanks ya.

so i parked. and he went to park.
i thanked the car behind for some initiative there.
after that, he said sorry to me and i generously say its-ok. and yea, my lights have 3 scratched lines.



today also.
raining like mad.
i was damn careful on the road. i didn't cut lanes and travelled max speed of 65km/h on the PIE on the 3rd lane, and kept 2 cars length away.
but this car... JUST had to cut in w/o signalling or noticing my presence. and since i was on the 3rd lane, on the paya lebar flyover, there's no more lane for me to change into or get out of the way.so i horned like mad and used all my skills to jam brake on the super wet floor. was super alert to not wheel lock it and thank God for all the past falls, i've learned to drop down all my gears asap to at least 1 or 2 to stop the bike. ya. then just as i've expected, the driver WAS ON THE PHONE, trying to cut the lane in a massive jam. good thing is that he said sorry. and really amen to my battlax tyres and newly-twitched rear brake.






anyways. yesterday, i got...





(: I AM VERY HAPPY just because of this.
i've been living around w/o a proper camera. everything is BB then upload to fb/twitter.

played around with it and its really a brillant camera.
by far, its probably the best digi consumer cam i have.
i'm still thinking of getting the D10 (canon's underwater camera) though. more for my adventure stuff. my friend recommended me the panasonic FT-2 or Sony TX-5... whatever that is. hahas. i'm really a brand loyal when it comes to photography equippment. i put alot of trust in Canon.



anyway. my ixus 950is sensor cuiii ttm alrdy. so this is to replace it, just it time for the recital. (:




after tmr, i'll be taking 2 wks break to play, settle all the stuff that i want to clear and do before the new year.
and, it really looks like i'm totally giving the malaysia tournaments a miss this yr. and probably the next yr, and the next next yr and... whenever.



i've got to start searching for some goals also... just to make full use of this imagery-next-year thing to push it.
i mean like.. we all can start pursuing our goals like right here right now. but i think the whole new year thing just sets things better in perspective. and one thing i know is that, i'm gg to really start prioritizing God. i think its been long enough that i've been away and giving myself excuses. 2 yrs? yup.



i.need.to.be.more.confident.

pls pray for me on this. thanks. (:

erms.

ok. i'm like 21.
but i'm kinda like trying to discover myself, still.


sometimes i wonder how did i managed to live my 15-18 phase quite happily.



maybe i only rmbr the happy stuff?
maybe i'm really happy?

or...



maybe, i was with God, closely.







ok. and suzuki and yamaguchi from the Japan team in the Asian Games Rugby 7s are hotz.
should see how they play, and play together.

patience

hahas. been watching all my friends on tv doing well in the asian games.
didn't catch the rugby game sin vs jap coz it clashed with trng. but caught the highlights. derelyn's break was awesoomme. hahas. so is wing's try man. 19-12 to jap. should be a gd game!
and also congrats to the women bowlers! for huifen and shayna to get individual silver and bronze.. and geraldine, shayna and cherie for the trios. all the best to the team events man!
and also to sherman for getting 2 golds in sailing!

hhaa. and realized that scott's bro is in the hockey national team. ahhas.

ok. so ytd, i ref-ed like 9 games at the Asian All Schools at singapore american schs.
take it as fitness ah.
but i still dun like refereeing.



so today, with much hesitation, i still went for trng.
i'm still pretty much not decided...
but i just went.
fitness was by khai today and honestly, it felt great. because it's just 20mins. but, it was like high intensity 20mins. explosive stuff. i think it's gd over the 45mins looonggggg fitness session. hahas. yea, and we didn't expect fitness on sunday trngs.
the girls was just a small grp of us which i felt that it was to me, so much better.
the national team ppl all not around, nus girls all not around. it was basically the ntu girls and a just a few blacks non-ntu girls.it was gd coz we didn't train with the guys and could focus on doing our drills right. it was gd because it was gg down to basic work. it was gd coz we're just all helping each other out.

but all these won't be for long.
good and bad la.
but i really hope to use these trngs well.




after that, went for dallas' bday dinner. FUN MAX.
its been sooo long since i've hung out with friends. (: happy happy happy.






thing that gives me comfort.

pending

surprisingly, i'm still thinking.


work's been tiring.


i got a new helmet today though! $42.
its ugly, but at least it's lighter.



once i've saved up more $$$, will get a nicer lighter one.


and my complexion is really bad now.









been dancing hard for the recital on the 4th dec.
and amazingly, i'm having fun.



7th yr w/o father poon. how long is that.

yellow

a slightly better day as i've predicted.
i mean like.. when u're down, there's no where to go but to go up.



thought abt the same issues. and yes, more positive. so.. it's not just abt the love for the game that keeps me in.. but on the field, each run, each tackle, each move being excuted...it just makes u feel good. like nice feeling again.
but still, still hesitant abt moving on.


onto dance. today was like 2-530pm of ballet.
was ok luh.
at first, u didn't want me to do the dance ("Yellow") coz u said i needed to focus on the 2nd one ("Up") though i was the first to learn all the steps for the 1st dance and all. (its coz of sch that i didn't go class for 3months..)
then now, because another girl wants to join the dance coz she's back from overseas... u kinda encourage me to do it.


doesn't tt make u feel like... i-only-use-u-when-i-need-you.
i wouldn't say a "spare-tyre" coz with my experiences in biking, i think spare tyres are really useful and essentials. hahas.
maybe like.. pad. use only when u need.



but anyways. i like the dance yellow coz the song's nice and the dance just goes very well with it. it's really nice.




ugh. can't wait for 2010 to end.

at the fork.

why do we even want to do things right?


sucha cold cold night.



didn't have a gd trng session for me.
came home, mum said my room was messy and started throwing all my things onto the floor.
and because i was too moody alrdy, i ran out of the house. i didn't want to blow it.
that's proabably a really wise and safe-r choice.


left for abt an hour b4 sis smsed me to go home.
just sitting downstairs at the void deck to sort things out.
had the longest 20min long shower after being drenched in the cold harsh rain for 7 hours.


i did think abt alot of things. and i will voice them out now.
not that i want everyone to know what i'm thinking, i just need to be heard. there's a difference yea.
i need you, but u werent there at all. i'm really all on my own and i just have to accept that.


and today, i guess i'm not that strong after all.
i'm not as strong as i think i am.



i guess now, its nov. i have to make certain decisions. this is probably the turning point in life. i'm 21 alrdy. i've giving myself till june to play and work part time as hard as i can b4 committing to work forever.
i'm not sure if i'm still on defensive mode now or what/ cooled down or not.. but whatever i will be saying, those are situations/ solutions that i've thought through.




these few yrs.. since i went to tp....
there's always been a struggle between bowling and rugby. even till sim.. when i've decided on rugby, i had to bowl for the sch. it wasn't really a choice that i can say no and leave it as it is coz i'm not that of an irresponsible teammate. but i still try to prioritize rugby whenever i can. that even meant giving up the bi-annual prestigious Asean Uni Games for a local Bali Rugby 7s.

i always want to strive to do my best. i dun really succumbed to easy excuses even though i may verbally voice them out.
i dont just want to compete. i want to excel.


now that the sUNIg season's over, bowling has been mundane and finally ceased. i'm actually looking forward to PBC championship, Milo Open and Penang Pesta but at this point of time, because of touch ivp trng, it looks as if i'm gg to give up everything. yes, all of those.
i actually intended to chiong these tournaments coz its really gg to be my last yr bowling officially. but whatever.

and, now that the rugby club 15s season's coming up.. i feel like... ugh abt it.


y do i even want to achieve so much?
does it matter? what's pleasure?
if u're doing fine, its alright. but if u've been trying and trying, and trying, but u are no where near the upwards gradient of ur learning curve, what's the point. and even more painfully, get misunderstood.
and the best this is, i'm doing this at the expense of church work God's happy time.




u know, HONESTLY, deep deep down within, i know my strengths and my talents. and they are not in sports, in fact, in arts.
specifically music and creative arts. 17 yrs in dance.. duno also for what.
i struggle alot in sports.
everyone has there outlet and avenue to grow... in their sch trngs.. where they can learn as everyone moves up together. in club level, u can't expect to do that. u can. but u can't expect.


i dun even know why i put myself through this. yes, i love n enjoy doing what i love to do. but if i dun do it well, i do get upset ya. ya ya, nothing comes easy.
but when u've tried so hard... and nothing really comes out of it and everyone keeps improving, u are stagnant and become a liability especially in team sports.
and it really sucks.


in that 1 hr, i really did think of letting everything go and just commit to what i do best and that's music.
realistically, stop gg for tues and suns trngs. stop gg for touch trngs. stop gg stl. stop leagues. stop monsoon and blacks trng. just stop everything.
i wont become idle, but i'll head head on with music. day in day out. just like how i train in sports.
i duno how am i gg to adapt with my evenings and wkends very free.. but it'll be a totally new life for me.




i really dont know.
then again, i may just be in defensive mode and making irrational decisions.




k. my thoughts are damn jumbled up now.








so.
i do have a 2 clear options.
to really go up,
or go down.






1) going up.
it means to draw strength from i dontknowwhat.
start being discipline in my fitness. and yadah yadah.
more importantly, start believing in what i can do and do it confidently.
and that means no hesitation. no pulling backs. no excuses.
and before all that can happen, i need to clear my doubts, and probably send an email out to popo.
and yes, restore some goals that were broken tonight.



2) going down.
that's really easy.
stop gg for all trngs. literally.
dun read up abt news and be gian abt the sport again.
go full force into music. and if i really need to lead an active lifestyle, go back to tap classes for recreation, run on my own, or even start climbing which i've always wanted to.




but u know what.
i've mentioned b4 i'm giving myself till june to play hardcore and work pt as macrider.
and in june, it'll be like 9months in camp or smth like that.

that's just secondary for now la.
and since its so, wont that back option 2 a better option?
but for now, i'll will play ivp touch for now. have to win this.







idk.
the night's cold. i'm in defensive mode, and i'm not thinking right.
i shall go slp. forget everything, and start deciding all over algain.

rugby wkend

sat was rugby at full throttle. 9am till 10pm.

in the morng, it was Monsoon Beach Touch happening at Siloso beach. it was a mega U-Sports event happs, with Monsoon Touch Football carrying out the event.
the sun was super hott, heating up the sand ttm..
was there as a helper.. did score keeping and runner... and it really did drained up quite abit of energy.

then at 2pm.. went over to Tanjong beach for Chivas Rugby Beach 5s tournament. under Blacks.
first time, contact rugby on the sand.
10mins flat. and it was tiring under the hott sun.
evening came.. it was much better. hahas.

but playing contact on the sand was an experience. well.. it isn't as hard as the ground.. but... when u fall flat face-down onto the ground.. u eat sand. and sand gets into all kinds of holes. hahas.
as in.. ur eyes, nose, mouth and ears la. ahhas.

Blacks sent 2 teams.. Power and Rangers. ahhas. Team Power topped the table and made it to the Cup finals. However, they faced ntu and lost at the very last min.
i was in team Rangers... we were 3rd of the table, so we faced bucks in the Plate finals.
we're also, leading 2-1... and in the last 3 mins, the tables turned and Bucks scored 2 off the ruck. our try came in at the very last min but it wasn't enough to win it. so it ended off with 4-3 to bucks.

hahas.

on the guys side... well done to Titans from Blacks, winning Cup champions. nail biting finals with both sides scoring one after another.




so yea. by then, it was 9pm. and gibert got KFC for everyone. salvage food man. then some of us headed down to Vivo to get a gd meal at carl's jnr.


was damn tired.
both of my club's event happening on the same day. what's the permutation for that man. Monsoon (touch) and Blacks (contact). tsk tsk. is it even legal?!



some photos (taken from regina's camera.. (: )















yea. there's still sand in my ear.
and today when i woke upp, my right thigh/butt area hurt alot.
its the old injury again!!!
how suay man!! same situation. now, back to limping stage. next phyysio appt's next wk. ahhas. its supposedly to be the 'last one' before i get discharged. looks like i've gotta go back for more again... ):




today, wanted to go church and see Boon Tong, all the way from Thailand. but wasted... got abit negative abt things.. so i didn't go.
nua at home whole day.
and it was raining; still limping around the house today.



but OH WELLS.
hope the pain goes away tmr! needa work plus trng after that.
come on!

first orders

been getting wierd first orders recently.

ytd was a guy who's totally just in his underwear and was so shy abt it when he realized the delivery person's not a guy.
it was damn wierd for me the both of us. was trying to avoid eye contact whole time, focusing on giving the right change while he was trying to like hid himself behind the door, realizing that he has to somehow get his stuff from me.

today, was at hotel81 at onan road where all the uncles at the coffeeshop kept staring at me.
yea. and it was like $70 of stuff ok. 6 cups of hot tea with all the breakfast meals.


hahas.
yea. hopefully monday wont be that bad.


then then. i delivered to KC! hahahs. former sec sch. the aunty sch guard rmbrs me! (:
popped by at mrs. sng's office! (: happy.
wanted to find mr. pang.. but his office's like at the top level. hahas.
that totally made my day.

yea. and one more thing.. this guy spotted me while he was eating wanton mee near siglap macs. hahhaas. he's like a blogger and wants to do an interview or some sort. hahas. interesting. gave him my blog link add while he gave me his name card. okkks. hahahhas.


ok la. gd to be a female rider. last time when i was posted to potong pasir, in just a wk, i had like 5 job offers. the delivery areas covers like the industrial areas and offices at kallang way and all..
the conversations would usually go like this..
"wah. female rider ar. not schooling meh?"
"err. ok la. just part time. now sch hols mah"
"what sch u in?"
"SIM."
"wah! u look like u taking o'levels...."
"hahas. no la. degree alrdy la."
"wahh.. they y rider??"
"like to ride lorr.. yadah yadahh.."
"u interested in......?"

yea, then the job offer comes in. ahhas. quite marketable huh.


but yea. had a gd day today, really.
so gd that i was preparing myself for any unforseen circumstances for the rest of the day coz things were too smooth sailing alrdy. hahas. CHOY AH.
but apart from the very hot weather with occasionally threatening clouds, it was ok. i know that i was damn tired and used my 30min break to do a very power nap. totally K.O. coz of the heat. hahas.



so.
it's been gg to be a yr that i've been riding and half a yr that i started delivering.
and things have still been eventful. ahhas.
i thought like maybe after working on a same routine job, things will get very mundane...
but that's the gd thing abt out-of-office job; though tasks are v repetitive, every task is diff.





LOONGGG wkend.
may i survive. gd nite!

so far

abit lazy to blog.

sorry. hahas.



some some stuff...


the other malay female mac rider i know kena accident last wk.
at broadrick rd there.
she inched out but the car went too fast and hit her. her face quite bad.. then her ankle cuii ttm.. had to put in steel plates.
so she's stopped working.
today, got posted to singpost.. so i asked abt her since i so long nv work there. hahas. got shocked.... damn sad la.

delivered to dakota mrt control station today (didn't even know such station existed)
and i called the customer coz i can't find him... he was like. "eh. wait. stop there.. i see u through the camrea". ahhahs.



another thing.
had to literally hold my ERP machine face up through the erp gantry coz the thread loose also. hahas. need new brackets too! hahas. quite funny.



been really sleepy. and i think i'm gg to slp now. nitez




lastly. went running today.
like finally. the route quite nice. bedok to mandrin gardens there.. then to siglap centre... through siglap road and back. hahas.
passed through siglap and bedok macs where i saw my collegues and also, saw them throughout the run. ahhas.
quite a nice run. but i think i can start running abit more faster.





as promised...

*ding ding ding!* i fixed myself ok!!!! ;D

getaway

went jb this afternoon with ju joanna and charlotte. just a getaway.
was abit tired and i can't find cheap shoes for work! ):

went trng later.
trained with the guys.

again. fitness was... haiz.
30mins to complete one long list of things. made it through 3/4 way. didn't manage to finish the last 3 or issit 4 drills.
sianz. and i'm usually able to complete 1 set just in time.


during the game, i rlly kept thinking of u. i probably very much wanted u to be around, still playing the game, so that we can sort of see each other more often. dammit.
u see, its when i'm free that i start to let my mind idle. ):
but any oh hows, i still rmbr that u told me tt u didn't really like the sports. HAHS. which i find the reason not very valid and probably just a casual moment of irritation from the sport that spurred u to say tt.


whatever marian.
by now, u should have known and get out of this.







ok. big issue now: dance.
recital's in 3 wks and i dun even know my 2 key dances. ):
i cant screw this up. i want to start enjoying this again.






the nights are really depressing.
and really, i think i've really placed u in my life and really believed that it'll be a forever thing till i can't get you out of it.
idk why i can't let go.
its like.. somedays i think i've alrdy let go. and somedays, i really yearn would die to just wanna sit down and have a really gd chat with u. like just hang out, talk abt nonsense and life. but one thing for sure, since the day we literally parted and not talked to each other since then, never a day have i not think about you. at least for a summation of a min in a 25hr day, my mind with drift past ur image/ happy times spent together.


so painful pls. i can take it luh. but i just dun like being.. uncomfortable; like smth's missing.
and omg. its like 4 yrs and counting. PLS dun let it draggggg this the 6th yr. i really want to open my life to ppl and stop being so... closed. hahas.

i.really.need.to.move.on. help.

(ok, i give up..) whoever reads this and know him... pls let him know that i just want to talk to him. help me man.
hahas. but just to clarify, i highly doubt that i would want this relationship back. i just dont want to loose such a gd friend like him. honestly, he's the only person in the world that i can talk to abt anything and just be myself. even the counsellor said so. (during that time when i was seeing one in sec 3/4 i think. ahhas)
UGH. SO IRRITATING.



on the flip side, ok, i pray for...,.. ... .... .. nvm.
bottom line: idk my direction and i need God to provide me a compass.

Battlax

happiness.

this morng, physio was like KILLER. he rubbed by ITB. omg. PAIN PLS.
i really felt as if my tolerance for pain's like 1% or smth.

then.. was out with surya whole day to do bike! (:

met her at her workplace. then.. went to ah boy's to get her helmet and i got new mirrorrs!!



shall show u guys when i've successfully install them. it's those nice blue rectangular mirrors. (: hahas

then, we went to the auntie shop. ahhahas.
omgs. we totally got lost. hahas. quite funny. hahas.
she did her seat and i did mine too!




quite disgusting ah! ahahs.


i cut the seat lower so that its more comfortable. and change the seat cover. the texture damn nice now. (:
so happy. $35 ok. but ok la. worth it.



then went to ubi and changed tyres, engine oil and get the brakes checked.
she changed her engine oil and battery.

i got.. BATTLAX TYRES. 80/90, 90/80.
SHIOK ONLY.
$90 each ok. normal cheap taiwan ones are like $40. but this is gd stuff ok.
i'd really rather pay more for tyres and safety man.



old tyres (possibility of 3 demerit points if caught by TP):


new tyres!:




after doing everything, went for trng. again, i was reminded how bad my fitness was and i need to do smth abt it. we did suicides.. usually.. during suicides.. i'm usually pushing off fast and like can match up with the team kind la. now ar.. i'm like last in my grp ok! thats damn bad. hard to run to top speed.. and hard to jam brake. hahas. agility sucks too.
1 month can really do severe damage.


ANYWAYS.


back to my bike.
shiok ok.
the uncle do my brake until damn nice. the front's not that hard now, but still ok i guess. hahas. whoas. but the tyres ar.. it's not seasoned yet... still got the waxy layer over it i think. but its good. i'm more confident in cornering now.
it uses alot of oil though. when i'm travelling only at 100km/h, it feels like 120km/h when i'm on my old tyres.
but gd thing is, when i turn, coz the bike now slows down alot and its hard to rev up, i dun clutch in alrdy! (: that's really really good.

(:

i totally burnt a hole in my wallet. but i think its worth it.
(:
so happy ok.

back in action

hi friends!



ahahs. no, i've no intention of dumping this land.

exams are finally over!
and there's so many things to do, catch up, reflect upon, look forward to yaddahdahdah.


ok.
i dun where to begin.
but my life's not totally disconnected from this internet world la. actually, its also partially the accessibility i have to fb and twitter via my phone that reduces the content for me i have to blog.

usually, i blog probably abt almost every interesting thing of the day. but now, its like.. i either tweet or fb it.
so when it comes to blogging, i dun wanna like.. repeat myself coz i'm not as excited alrdy. hahas.
no, not an excuse.
just maybe a probable trend.


oh wells.





EXAMS.
hahas.
ok, i really must say, given the amt of time i had set aside for myself to study, i have really studied hard.
been gg macs from abt 1pm -11pm everyday.
and because of my injury, i can't go trng even if i wanted to. so it was abt 4wks with no form of sports or whatsoeva. macs day in day out, and yea, i've gained weight. and my fitness, nonetheless, has plumaged deeply.

onto the exams, first paper... finance.
i think among the 5 papers, this is the worst. its actually a subject that i enjoyed the most. however, because i was worried for other subjects, i devoted less time to this. paper on monday, and i started only on wed. for thurs-sat, i mugged my ass off. really burnt and didn't even play itouch games alot. played abit to relieve some stress, not alot.
but however, i lackked one more day of practice. i understood most of the concepts but just lack the practice. i scared myself with the tough tutorial questions when if i had just focused on the superduper easy specimen (which turned out to be 80% same as the real exam), i would have done better.

so for that paper, i dun think i'd pass. that's honest.
if i really pass, i really must thank God, start gg church and all arlddyy. hahas.
i'm prepared to redo that module next yr, thus, i'm not making any drastic changes to my future planning.

Buyer Behaviour.
is a repeat module.
hahas. still cannot believe that i actually failed a module 2 sems back and thus gotta retake this.
i started studying seriously for this only after mon's finance paper; on tues, and then wed's the paper.
quite good. infact, very confident. mcq, sure 18/20. its like, i even know where to find the ans from.. like which part of the textbk and all.
but for the section b, didn't quite do very well. 3 questions, 14m each, got 1 marjorly wrong coz i didn't really focus on the back chpts. dammit. but i am sure that it's a passable.


then global marketing.
same, started seriously only after BB's paper. didn't do lotsa required research for the exams.. just koped sufficient amts of examples from TP's gm textbk. (: but thankfully, i studied smart and i think i can score for the paper. its quite hard to say actually because of the format of the exam. 14m x 3 essays. anything can go wrong.
the questions are so generic. u can choose to say anything or not. saying more that what the question wants might seem to be out of point or, just trying to begg for more marking points from the markers which might actually work.
i dont do the latter, but i dont really have strong concrete argument points to ans the questions directly anyways.


the next week, Strategic marketing.
because i did badly for the class test, i wanted to redeem myself through the exams, so, i studied so early before that. it was a wed paper, so we had like abt 5 days to study for it.
the paper was tough and it killed everyone.
there were lotsa concepts to memorize and they were not easy to understand. the paper pulled concepts from across topics and asked us to implement strategies to suit the different type of markets per se.
but i think i was quite happy for the paper. there was one particular concept that had 4 pts to rmbr, and lou and i were making fun of it before the paper and it really did come out. ahhahs. (: cheers to us ya. hahas.
ok. i secretly like tough questions. i'm more of an analytical person. if u ask me to regurgitate out txtbk stuff during the exam, i can't do well and scholars will score like mad.
so i secretly like tough papers; it sets ppl apart.


then yes, last paper, the very next day, Sales Comms.
hahas. totally. EASY PEASY.
the specimen paper was THE SAME. the case was the same. one of the questions was exactly the same. and basically, we're actually told how to prepare and what to expect. so when it was reading time, i didn't border to read the case study, AT ALL. hahas. never in my life (or will in the future) will anyone not read the case study during the main exam. hahas.
so yes, SURE D or HD. i screwed my class test, so according to ju, to get HD, i literally need to get 50/50 for the test. HAHAs. so i'm aiming for D. then again, easy paper, less differentiated, bell-curve harder to define.. so gotta be really smart to do well for this.




so that's it. ORD LOH.
that's the end of my 1.5 yrs of SIM.
graduation in aug 2011 that's for sure (i hope. even if i fail finance, there should be a module in the jan-june sem).
(:




so.
next day, it was a friday. Deepavali.
thurs night, the friends play majong all the way till 6am while i just nua around with amanda.
reached home at 615an. quickly bathed. slept till 7.30am, and heroically went to work at 8am, Siglap macs. feels gd to work again. the knowledge that $$ will be gg into ur bank acc.


but yea. bad thing happened.
it was raining heavily at 9am till abt 10am. so orders got cancelled. sad coz it was the $2 per trip docket timing. ):
so it resumed. abt afternoon, it was still drizzling.
so was returning from marine parade, entering a slight left turn into the slip road into siglap rd.
omgs. pedastrain crossing.. this security guard on the bike.. want-to-cross-dun-want-to-cross.
he stopped and looked at me so i thought he let me go. so i speed up to go. then he go. tmd.
so i jammed brake, in full knowledge not to jammed it but to tap the front and use more of the rear brake.
but coz i was quite fast, i didn't have time to change down the gear. i clutched in an attempt to so do, only to realize that i had to brake more instantaneously which caused my biked to skidd.
ya. but ok. i admit i'm at fault. no matter what, pedestrain crossing, i should just stop. period.

ok la. from the look of it, it was quite bad. coz the whole bike literally skidded and collapse on me. hahahs. my right foot got caught under it. the uncle tried to help, but he didn't know what to do. just then, a very nice malay pizza delivery stopped to help me.

so nice. he was damn calm and experience (though he looked much younger than me). he got off his bike immediately, w/o even switching off his engine, lifted my bike very experienced-ly and pushed it to the pavement and put it on main stand while the uncle tried to help me up.
he helped me check my bike and all, kicked start my bike and so on. he told me that my bike was out of alignment then gave nice smile, and told me to be safe and then rode off.
HOW NICE CAN.
totally the modern type of white horse prince (directly translated from chinese).


yea. so throughout the whole thing, i was quite amazed that i was quite calm. more embarrassed than anything. hahas.
i think coz i skidd /fall off so many times that it's ok. but yea, was alittle shaken by it.
i tried to ride, but realized the alignment was totally off.. so i stopped by the side abt 7m to slow down my mental self.
and THANK GOD TTM, 2 of my collegues happen to ride by. HOW NICE GOD CAN BE RIGHTTT.
happen to ride by u know! it doesn't happen THAT often.
so yea, they helped me further check it, gave me a few encouragements and then asked me to slowly ride back to the hub to check for me.


thankfully, it was less than a km straight road more to siglap macs.
made it back with ultimate slow speed of 20km/h with a bike that's dangerously out of alignment.

back there, they helped me fix my bike and so on.
so pro.



then they told me to stop delivering for awhile, calm myself down before carrying on.
but what hurt me more was the scratch on my bike.
so jia lat can.
so deep. )):
argh.
not nice arlddy.








the cuts, bruises and abrasions are just like rugby wounds.
make no difference actually. but thank God that the mac uniform was long sleeves and long pants. so it kinda reduce the abrasions. so was normal la. just like had to stop the pus from coming off. it was pus-ing ALOT. so much that i had to go guardian to buy a special plaster for it.



so ya. that was my day.
went down to bedok macs to catch up with the riders over there.
told them abt my incident. got lotsa tips.

do-you-know-facts:
1) self ski (like mine)... if TP come, will kena 6 demerit points?! so that's why the pizza guy immediately helped me to push my bike out of the road and make it look is it nothing happened.

2) they checked my rear tyres and got shocked coz it was botak! it TP see.. 3 demerit points!


yea. ahhas.
didn't realized that the grooves of my rear tyres were totally buanggg.
so. TMR. i am gg to change it alrdy.
wanted to change last time when i felll at the void deck, also while delivering.
its goonna cost me abt $180. but heck it. i'm gg to pay that kind of money.
goona get Battlax tyres. 70/80, 80/90. front and rear.
changing spark-plug, air-filter and engine oil. do it all at one shot.




so yea. tired.
fri night slp was so well-deserving. from all the studying and immediate epic work day.
sat morn.... WTL.
it's like a month that i'm MIA from the rugby/touch scene. not to mention the bowling scene. but whatever. ahhas.
and OMG. i ALMOST DIEED.
40mins game la. 1 attack, 1 defence and i was OUT OF BREATH. ahhas.
soooo bad. the sun wasn't that killer hot. but i was very very out of breath.
i need to train up my fitness man.
its like.. press start button but the engine cannot start.

after that, collect race pack for salmon's trail run. next wk, at macritchie. 12km. quite scared coz i dun think at my fitness level now, i can pass 2km. i needa train this wk, but i've been really caught up with many things. and the rain keeps pouring at nighhtt.


so finally.

TODAY. SUNDAY.
SCC 7s at the padang. no really so much as to want to watch rugby rugby. but more of to see the girls! (: so happy to see them after being MIA.
but nonetheless, it was an exciting finals. Penguins vs SA vipers. Penguins won!! vipers scored to equalize at the final whistle. sudden death. then quite change over in penguin's favour then they won! everyone's like cheering for them. ahhas. i think they're the underdogs or smth.

u16. greenridge and acsi. hahs. as usual, acsi.. no comments.
but greenridge fought hard man. really encouraging to see the boys not giving up at all cost and really fighting their way through.


ok. just then, i missed u. i rmbr SA winning the John Clark Trophy in 2005 man.





OH WELLS. its time i should get gd slp now.
tmr long day.
physio. ahboy. ubi. trng.




oh yea. last episode of the fireman show. damn epic. but i like. hahas. (:


ya. and if u've read everything from top to bottom, thank u, i appreciate that. hahas