Easter

happy easter!

the chinese bulletin. di shiong (the chinese 2 words beside my name) means brother. HAH. what an interesting printing error.

haaha.
the dance went well.
really enjoyed the company of Tamlyn, georgia, rachel, and of course, uncle han meng. hahas.
our efforts paid off. though its quite a short one... the whole song is like different steps.




so. went to help take photos for soccer boys.
with the cough and flu.
sry luh. just had to complain. but i must say, the guys did a great job. 3-1 won. an encouragement for the team, spectators and the photographer. haha.

dinnered. chatted.

halfway home.. stomachache. cannot stop halfway. coz i'm like on the 2nd last bus. haha. reach bedok, ran home. call mum to open door. and literally made shouted oooww. haha. lao saiiiii again. poxs.


ate PO CHAI YIN. best chinese med of all.


oh my.


-

today. i think i'm nice man. i offered u chocolate egggs. haha. so. that's one the less-than-10-sentences we've exchanged ever since 2yrs ago. rocks ar. haha.
i pray that God will make me a nicer person to really forget about everything and treat as if NOTHING has happen. oh my. yes. NOTHING. hahahahhhahas.
and i pray for you for that as well. :p



-

heart.



anyway. i've been hanging out with some of e church ppl lately and really. theres alot of things that kept me thinking. i dont mean to doubt, judge or make blunt assumptions. but really. i question the friendships i have in church- more like the used-tos. honestly frank opinions, when she left for Australia, things change and unknowingly, ppl change. so hey you! that's how big your life has impacted us man. seriously.


i dont mind being labelled as busy or whatever. however, now that i'm like waiting to go to a uni, i'm free. i've taken initiatives to ask u ppl to out and stuff and sometimes, the hearts arent' there anymore. even when i'm busy, i still make time. i'm not that sad or anything. just a very wasted feeling. its like. sunday. u guys have preached... sabbath day- "to keep it holy. to rest. to etc.." and you guys have meetings after meetings. fine. what about those days w/o meetings... u guys go home do work.. or like cell grps or what. i'm not saying its wrong or what. what about a simple dinner / lunch/ snack or whatever. meetings don't last for more than 3-4 hrs unless its a major major one.


sometimes i really pray that it rains so heavily on sunday after church that all of us are forced to stay back and fellowship.


i am in no position to question how anyone should prioritize their time (just like how u ppl questioned me like mad). but all i can say is that, i've been through all those, much worse, but i do know the importance of taking time out to fellowship. i do make the effort and you ppl don't. some ppl just can only say. cannot do. can scold/ preach/ give best examples, but just don't follow them.


i'm not being blameless or calling names like hypocrites. though i can name names, but its more like a general 'issue'. its not just me that's feeling this. it's not just me hor.


i just don't like how ppl loose heart so easily.
to so easily loose a friendship simply because of other things.
sometimes i ask myself, why try so hard. why.
is it even worth it even when at the end of the day, there's really no sincere heart in the friendships but just an empty i-must-fellowhship-in-the-name-of-Christ-so-i-will-do-so or something more?


some ppl leave church and then come back for a short period of time, and then leave again. but then, they still have heart despite having other troubling issues that cause them to leave. u know it. u can feel it. i can't like say all these in proper black and white because affairs of the heart are never easy to pen them down. to put it simply, i know who my friends are, and i know who aren't.



so stupid right. at this age, discussing about friendship here and there.but if i'm not wrong, i've blogged abt this somewhere in sec 3/ sec 4? HAH. paper bag, plastic hearts. that famous phrase.


right now, i do have a choice. to continue trying. or to stop, and enjoy my comfort zone. u'd probably won't understand what i'm trying to day unless u're really in this position, watching ur 'friends' around every sunday. i know who i can trust can who i can't. with all the actitives i've done or still doing, i meet different ppl everyday. different personalities, from different walks of life. and i know, my heart can't lie. i know it.



sensitive issue huh.



yea yea. i can be the one at fault.
the one to be blamed.
the one who's making all the wrong moves.
the one that's making wrong and false assumptions.
but at the end of the day, the best answer is still Jesus.
its funny how that it's during Easter that i start to really take this matter into my serious thoughts.

Jesus died on the cross
u know that song.. "with self-less faith, with self-less faith.. Hosanna.." YEA.
God sent Him to do so.
we His children, has seen his love, experience his love, tasted his sweetness and goodness, but just don't know how to use it on others.


what all ppl think is for themselves.
maybe even in a BGR... it's about ME. I. MYSELF.
how can the person benefit me?
how can i have the fun?
how can i enjoy myself.

bull luh.


seriously. my mum and dad, honestly, are the nicest ppl in the worth.
like dead serious. i'm not biased. though they can be irritating and naggy, their intentions for others are always to make those around happy.

my mum loves to cook for ppl w/o anything in return. she likes to help others like mad. even if she's tired or like even facing financial probs, she still goes all out to help. so much so that somtimes, i've got to remind her what situation we're in.

my dad. on the other hand, just like being super sincere. sincere to his working pals, making things for them... buying all the materials with his money and giving the end product to his friends with nothing in return. super at the loosing end. he never fails to be his stupid self infront of everyone include to my friends who are initial strangers to him. awesome huh.



perhaps now, as young ppl, we tend to lean towards the tangent of defending for ourselves.
to fight for what we deserve rather than believing in making those around happier.
to fight for what we think is right and not fair for equality.
we young ppl need more salt, more hardships in order to grow. with such a spoilt and pampered society, i really fear for the future generations.




my God guide us.
really, guide our hearts.
mould us as His disciplines and really teach us His ways.

i'm not trying to act all holy-molly and all. but honestly, God is the only way out.
He can make the impossible possible.

wake up kids.











i've been procrastinating alot.
my photos are all over my desktop. needs clearing up.
my things are all over the place.