Sunday, March 10, 2013

the best Sat

its been long since i've shed a tear because i was happy.





(gonna make it brief coz i'm really shagged out from the blazing morning sun.)




half time, we were trailing them 6-7. but in the 2nd half we managed to break the line and bagged in 2 more tries.
indeed. these last 2 days of full commitment, communication, and focusing did pay off. (:
it's just damn shiok.








made this poem for the team 2 days ago prior to the Finals on the last day of trng, hoping to encourage and keep us tight together.


This is our last game so make it count
Let's end this hard with a big Blacks' sound.

Look where we've come and come so far,
Let's do this right and raise the bar.

90mins is all we've got
Let's smash them hard for that's what's sought.

Bring them down and hit them hard,
Make them know that they're not that smart.

Let's throw it out with all our passion,
Let's win this back with all our aggression.

This is not just a piece of game
This is not something just for fame.

Nothing's going to be put on hold
Let's be bold and grab the gold.

Let's show them what Blacks are made of
We'll get this right coz we're not that soft.

This is our last game so make it count
Let's end this hard with a big Blacks' sound.

:')



indeed, we did end it with a big Blacks sound.
for 2 yrs, we were unrest and unsettled. we trained hard. ups and downs, we went through it together. and with today's victory, it sure did make everything worthwhile.






in the morng, had STL.
won the Womens and drew the Mixed.
we played well for both teams. it was just very nice to be performing and running those lines.
and for the Mixed i managed to score against a guy! it was in the tight link-wing gap...and i faked and stepped into it. the oppo was actually a strong team and it was a tough fight. we lacked subs and some of our power player's weren't here today. so to play well and play together, and drew with a 5-5 was really a damn shiok feeling.





and after the day's games, had dinner with Mother Poon!
its her bdy! 
the game supposed to end by 7pm but it ended nearly 8.30 because of the rain that caused the delay. but was glad i managed to meet Mother Poon for dinner on a birth day.

was also torn between the team dinner as well as another church friend's bday dinner.
everyone wants today!




lastly, ytd's was this girl's bday.
just wanna thank God for someone so special like her. 
and special to me.
its like, we can just look at things/ppl, then start laughing out loud to ourselves, in full confidence that we're on the same wavelength w/o communicating with each other. hahas.







lastly, had MA1 (higher maths) exam last fri.
i want to be proud and say that i'm gonna get full marks. exam was given 1.5 hrs and i finished it in 15mins. and because our tchr told us dun leave the exam hall so early, i waited till about 25mins before leaving. hahasahhahas.
bhb.
i dun like to leave the exam hall early, but this one really too long la. go out study m11 better.

but feels smart again to follow mathematics rule and solve complicating questions. it's really just about following SOPs.






really, thank u God for a good week. 
and i even managed to catch a late night movie at the cinemas on fri night and still be able to manage the whole of today and complete this blog post now.
thank u everyone. (:







Friday, March 08, 2013

the last stand




"and if we do get into a fight... good. all the more better. the ref can't card 20 ppl off the field like that."




last trng of the season.
Finals on Sat.
everything was laid out on the table, or rather, within the circle of trust.
words are spoken. and some promises are to be made.
for we will go in hard and not regret.



after trng, we had a brief prep talk.
the last 1.5 days before we step into the field again.
idk but those heartfelt words spoken by my teammates really did pull some chords in my heart.
it did spur me to ask myself more questions.
its like trying to start a fire- the primitive way.





though i'm weary, tonight's gonna be a long night.






-



i always watch the 8pm 9pm hk drama shows, the repeated one at 11am and 12am respectively.
recently, there's this 8pm one, [ 巴不得媽媽 ]. quite funny.
but there's this character that i feel that i can relate so much to. so much so what when they play that reoccuring background music about the couple, i just want to shed a tear for myself. not out of sadness, but just like a sympathetic one coz i feel her so much.



she's a artistic renovation girl who does the paint work. and there's this guy rich marketing guy who's after her after unknowingly being inspired by her artistic talents and has taken her as his muse.  basically, its about a boy and a girl, initial loggerheads who unknowingly care so much for each other. but because they both belong to v different worlds and background, the friendship and eventual relationship becomes a rocky path.



and so, whenever they qurrel or go into those emo scene... there's this song playing in the bg.






so here's the song.


Seperate Lives by Phil Colins.

You called me from the room in your hotel
All full of romance for someone that you met
And telling me how sorry you were, leaving so soon
And that you miss me sometimes when you're alone in your room
Do I feel lonely too?

You have no right to ask me how I feel
You have no right to speak to me so kind
We can't go on just holding on to time
Now that we're living separate lives

Well I held on to let you go
And if you lost your love for me, well you never let it show
There was no way to compromise
So now we're living (living)
Separate lives

Ooh, it's so typical, love leads to isolation
So you build that wall (build that wall)
Yes, you build that wall (build that wall)
And you make it stronger

Well you have no right to ask me how I feel
You have no right to speak to me so kind
Some day I might (I might) find myself looking in your eyes
But for now, we'll go on living separate lives
Yes for now, we'll go on living separate lives
Separate lives






yea. hahas. i dun think i'm that of a lover girl. never like all those hearts, doves and butterfly-ish backgrounds.... but i relate to it so much that it becomes a reflection for myself.


as for now,
i'm taking escapism as a form of solution. may not be the best, but whatever works, works.
there's really so much thing elsewhere that requires my attention, be it i like it or not.



no, not you.







Thursday, March 07, 2013

post

finally a day that i can rest. wed is usually gym/run day. but i've decided to rest after a loonggg satsunmontue of good and intense games/ activities/ trngs.
God bless my legs and back.



Higher maths exam on fri. and The M11 paper on tues.

not that worried for the paper on fri coz i always loved maths. and yea, looking at the amt of hints we've gotten, its really hard not to pass. not saying tt i'm smart, but if u looked at the questions hints we're getting............ yea.
hahas. so now, its just M11 studying. quite done with the mechanical, now focusing on the avionics part.



and so..
ytd, after trng, as i sat on the track and took off my boots, i was really tired. the surrounding was quiet.
i looked up at the sky and saw a plane fly by, and another one quite soon after.


... the nav lights blinking.
... the sound of the engines allowing the plane to hover across the moon-lit sky like that.
altogether. re-mixed with those little blinking linearly flying flights against the night sky with faint shining starts being watermarked by clouds.



and i realized that i've been away from a plane for quite some time alrdy. its kinda weird coz i'm actually having those fuzzy mixed feelings, and secretly missing those seemingly life-less planes. its weird because as i looked at how it roared across the quiet sky, i just felt so once-attached to it. i still am, but just physically distant. for now that is.


sucha hugeass vehicle but she just needs delicate care and to some extent, intricate maintenance.
humble. yet magnificent.
so dependent. yet so reliant.

honestly, i've never expected myself to grown such feelings for anything so mechnical and man-made... plain ol' machinery; and i guess the 1 month OJT did have an impact. it did assured me of certain things in life. what i wanted. what i didn't want.
i really miss the airside at changi. ups and downs, good and bad, everything.
the people. the smiles.
the suave pilots and esp that thai airasia female pilot.
the lunch breaks. the time singing to Kiss 92 FM in the van.
the heavy rain with useless window wipers.
the cold nights alone with the planes. the sunrise with its awakening morng dew.
the sights and sounds.




idk but its all so mixed inside.
so mixed. but yet with confidence.





its March alrdy.
and its soon going to be that time i start thinking about these annual stuff.
if i eventually do again, i hope that its just because its habitual / routine and not intended.
for i can safely say (even with more assurance this time round), that i've learnt to let go of the baggages that's not going to help you move on in life as a happy, carefree and focused person.
u know, its like jettisoning fuel to meet the MLW (max landing weight) so u dont land heavily and secretly cause stress fractures and undetected devasting demages which can eventually prove to be the detrimental causes.




slowly, but surely in faith.



giving it all up to allow space for more.
not letting ur thoughts run wild.
keepin' em safe and sound.


soon and very soon, i'm goona be back on the ground.
more realistic this time round.
and i shall model the attitude of an airplane.





an airplane takes off against the wind,
not with it.  
(:









Monday, March 04, 2013

my first Urbanathlon




ok, let me start with my epic Sat briefly first.
morng 2 touch games.
evening 1.25 contact games.


was a good saturday. the blazing hot in the morning and a sudden massive downpour later in the evening. the touch games went well; won the Womens, lost the Mixed (against our stronger team) but well played for both! (: 
evening played for my club in the last 10mins. was able to do one good pass to juan coming in at the wing but didn't have enough time to finish it off. then helped another club play 10s, coz they didn't have numbers. full out. didn't want to give my 100%, not because it wasn't my club, but because i didn't want to be that sore for the next day nor risk any injury. hahas
but because everyone gave their best, did their best and i felt it, hence, i gave my best as well. could have been harder in my tackles; missed a few. but assisted a few tries. (: was quite a good game i must say. 2nd round last yr, the team against the same opposition was 89-0. hahahahs. yea, and this time, it was 50-28 if i'm not wrong. maybe coz it's 10s instead of 15s.. but i really enjoyed myself.


that's the thing about team sport.
when everyone starts giving their best and not only playing for the club but for each other, it just makes things a whole more special and meaningful. words can't really describe the distance covered. (:


and so, whole day, i was stretching it out. and secretly worried for next day.
coz, i finished my saturday by 9.30pm and got home by 10pm. wah. ate bath and add some carbs for dinner before 11pm and forced myself to be in bed before 12am, and abit anxious coz i know i've got less than 8hours for my sore legs to recover.



and so. woke up at an unearthly time of 5.30am. 
the moment i woke up, i felt the weight of the world on my legs, shoulders and neck. ahahas. 
sore to the core, despite wearing my trusty recovery Skins to slp. 
ate the microwaveable AuntyJenna's waffles for some energy food.
ahahha. still early. so played candycrush.

soon. found myself parking illegaly beside the army market food court to go nicholl highway. many ppl parked there as well. i guess there were better places to park, but that was ok for me. 
walked to open field beside nicholl highway and i realize i was just 30mins before flag off time.
and even before anything, my legs were sooree alrdy. tsk tsk.





to sum up the race first, i've never felt so proud about completing any runs before. 
this by far gg to be the most memorable one, being my first. 
and my journey was completed with Zara. (: pacing each other, encouraging each other and just making the loong 14km seemed so bearable and awalkinthepark (ok. this is an understatement).




ok. the 2 most memorable long runs in my life were 1) the 10k Salomon trail run at tampines bike parks. lotsa steep climbs i tell you. and i completed it in 1h 10mins. not a fast timing, but its not my kind of timing. hahas. idk how i got that kind of timing. i hate long d, but i'm doing it to keep up my cardio work. but it was good. maybe coz of the nature of the run and some more at my old homie trail where i used to go.
2) the energizer night trail run. did quite well there coz though it was just 7km, the climbs were steep. and steep meaning, there were ropes to assist you in ur 'run' up. hahhahs. everyone was climbing. and its at lorong asrana, in the night, pitch back, with headlights. and i guess i did quite a good timing because i didn't want to be alone in the dark so i'm always pushing myself to run further to the next group of runners. ahhahahas.


anway, those are just runs with climbs.
but this run was just different.
more challenging in an interesting way.





this urbanathlon, 9 obstacles. 14 km. 


here's a vid from FB. 







here's the obstacles and route.
and its the first time they're finally opening up to the ladies.











never done anything more than 12km before. 
ok, it was easier that i thought. not because it was easy or i'm damn fit or what, but because, prior to the run, i was really psyching up myself to tell myself that the obstacles were tough and so on. my top 2 fears were the parallel bars and the inclined monkey bars. ahhas. in the end, the monkey bars were so easy. i guess coz they're spaced not so far out. but the parallel bars were just... grrrr.
failure of any of the obstacles meant an addition 5mins to ur timing.








ok, i shall do this systematically. 
(shall insert photos soon when they're up on the web. photos are from Men's Health FB and Running Shots on FB as well. regret not running with my cam)


the run was flagged off in waves to prevent congestion.
we set off in the last wave. takin' it chill. and the emcee was super funny. he was like.. "and now... we present to you.. The. Last wave. for. Men Health' Urbanathalon 2013....*inserts digital crowd clapping sound*. even though u are in the last wave, it does not mean that u'll be the last..." and he went on to make it that it was a grand thing to be in The Last Wave. ahhhaahahas





and beeeepppp... off we go.
after running about 2km down the F1 track part along with nice sun..


obstacle 1:  Wall Street.


basically its to climb up this container (those bigass cargo metal ones) 2.6m high with a 1m step up. ok, been long since i've scaled a wall. last time was when i was damn young (like 10 yrs old kind. light and fit from all the 'Catching'). and...i couldnt do it! so disappointing but there was this japanese-looking guy runner who helped me up after helping my friend up as well. (: and he continued to help others. hahas. so nice. (: so considered it as obstacle-cleared. hahas.




and less than 1km..

obstacle 2: the Corporate Ladder.



8 flights of stairs of the viewing platform for the Floating field at marina bay. knn. 800 steps in all. felt like an incorporation of the swissotel vertical marathon. hahas. lotsa ppl walking up. 90%.
wanted to jog up 2 step-up at a time. coz vertical is my forte la and to end that pain up is to do it fast. all that lower power trng we do for rugby comes handy. so both of us jogged up if we had the opportunity.
once we're done and down the last flight, u can feel ur thighs burning. had to stretch my hammies to prevent my back from stiffening up. and by then i couldn't decipher if the ache was from ytd's game or the run so far. it doesn't matter though. ahhahas


next, abt 2 km down MBS to...


obstacle 3: the Quantum Leap.


5 sets of horizontal beams 1.3m high. was easy. did this before in trng with the garden wall at CCAB. hahhas. but they had sand paper so it cuts ur hands and knees if u're not careful.
enjoyed this station much. felt likka pro. 
like those robbers in hk dramas where they had to jump over fences on the run to get away from police. ahhahs




and then less than a km to..


obstacle 4: the Network.




by then, it was a bottle neck. had to queue. been long since i've climbed the nets. hahas i grew up with such nets ok. father poon used to bring me to the playground to play. so this was homeground for me. AHHAS. but it was muddy. and since everyone was on it, it was shaky and moving slow. means, it required more energy to keep balance and remain on the net while the front guy is waiting for the front front guy and so on. hahas. 




ok and this was a loooongggg run up to Fort Canning through Clarke Quay and all.
basket. after up the overhead bridges, we faced hills and more hills. the hills felt like an obstacle itself. there was one particular hill that was for abt 150m with an inclination that looked like 30 deg or even 45 if its possible. zara and i sprinted up just for fun coz we wanted to end it fast. wha. when we reached the top and slowed down, u can feel a gush of lactic acid. and soon enough, u're facing with stairs and more stairs.  and so... after duno how long....


obstacle 5: Workload





carry 20kg of wet sandbag and run 100m.
no problem. again, we did this before in rugby trngs when we had to run round the field or workout with the more atas sand bags (red or blue coloured ones, back in the days at SA) anyways, not all the bags were 20kg. some were i think less than 15kg. maybe 12kg. of course, i picked up the light one. no one ran la. everyone walked through it. hahas. halfway through, there was this girl struggling, with her boyfriend. u can't go back coz we're given one attempt for this, and failure would mean the 5mins penalty (if we cared la) hahas. her boyfriend took the heavier one. and when she dropped her bag, she couldn't lift it up; and it also didn't make sense to swop with her bf or what. she just had to do it. but idk y her bf didn't want to drop his sandbag to help her bring the sandbag up to her shoulders la. anyway, my partner and i tried to help her but i think she like shagged out alrdy coz she couldn't even get it up her shoulders with both of us helping.  so i heroically passed her my lighter one and took hers. (secretly achieving my dream of being a fireman- helping others in distress. wahhahs). her bag was probaby abt 17kg. the problem was not about walking with it but trying to get it up ur shoulders. had do a power-clean-like move to bring it up and being careful not to twist my goingtobestiff back. 
(: felt so proud of myself. hahahhahas. but the mud water made sweaty shirt more gross with mud water, having more than half the journey to go still.


water points here and there, still up at Fortcanning park where i saw a couple drinking their isotonic drink with a 交杯酒 fashion. hahahhahha oookkkk. 


obstacle 6: Monkey Business



5m monkey-bar. inclined. mentioned about it earlier. they ran out of chalk. so the bars were abit slippery. but just keep the momentum and it was fun. e bars were quite high off the ground too, so it was another motivation for me to not drop and swing through it well. 
happy that i was done with it w/o much effort struggle. (:




finally down the hill, suppoting the saying of "what goes up must come down".
not so friendly on the knees. and by then, my k-tape on my knees were coming off from all the abrasion, water and movement. and by then, most of the runners were walking. quite surprised and zara and i could still go on. we took some walks, but managed to paced up again. hahas. we're trained with intervals and recovery, so our pattern of run are always like sprint-jog-sprint-jog and not jog full out. but of course, with 14k, no sprints la just faster jogs to compensate for the fast walks. 




obstacle 7: Mind Map


roughly back near Clarkquay. this one just some obstacle with tyres and boxes. they weren't really strict with the girls coz the obstacles were really too far out. can't jump safely enough. so touching the ground was ok la, just show that u put in effort can liao. HAHAHS. quite a forgetful obstacle though. 


about 2km down was the next obstacle...


obstacle 8: Lateral Move.



BAH. failed this one. 
2 sets of 6-m parallel bars. 
must bring urself across by pure brutal strength of ur arms for the first set and using ur core for the 2nd set. the arms one was mad, i think  i travelled like 1m and like drop down. ahhahas. 2nd set was easy. coz again, did it before during trng. our trng was much tougher. coz our for our trng, every step we took with our hands (using the agility ladder) we had go down for one push up before moving to the next square... for about 12-16 times. anyway. since i dropped on the first set, i have failed the obstacle. ): hAHHS. but its ok! at least i tried. 


and another longer run back to under the fly over of ECP.... 
passing through the F1 tracks again.




obstacle 9: Down and Dirty.



hahahs. probably my most fav coz its the most useful one. run through the container filled with mud and ice (those containers at the back of trucks to fill up with sand).. abt 1m deep. and surprise to know that there's still so much ice despite all the heat and runners. everyone was shouting "milo peng" "teh peng here!" ahhahs. coz the water of the diff containers were of diff colour. shades of brown or grey (possibly from the un-filtered concrete)
took out our shoes first after choosing the best container (which didnt make a diff). super cold. should have slowered my pace and stayed in it longer. it was really a good and probably the best solution for recovery. but it was gross. hahahhas
and while putting on my shoes, aaallmosttt crammped up my left calf. felt it and immediately release the pressure off. HEING. hahas. 




and soon, it was the last stretch of 750m to the end point!!!!
i was damn happy k.
both of us sprinted our last stride back. i tried to give my all but my legs were heavyy.
and ta-dah!!! we made it. hahahs.




what.a.journey.
first time running with a friend in an event like this, and it was really fun. dont really know her very well, only trained with her a few times during our combined trngs. got to know a friend better and made the journey even more memorable. hahas






to sum it up, i'm proud of myself coz i was able to give my best and look forward. 
and it was more bearable than i expected it to be. though it was 14km, we took about 2hr 20mins with all the obstacles, waiting time and so on. but I must say that up the fortcanning park was The One la. hahas. and imagine they put the stairs obstacle (obstacle 2) at last. ahhas. i think i'll just roll down. and honestly, i thought that we would be the most cuii one around. coz most of the guys looked so fit and buff to a certain extent. but i'm quite proud to say that we overtook some of the guys and had the same pace as some of the other guys. 

i like this kind of event that its not just purely on a long run. coz it really evens out the race actually. 





glad to meet some other friends at the run too! saw about 10 of them.. and somemore familiar faces i always see in my respective schs/ sporting scenes. some were fellow participants marshalls, some tending the stalls. and of course, my awesome church friends ! its always with these 2 guys. (: been through quite alot tgt, not just in church but the thailand mission buddies as well. (:


















homed. rested. totally nua-tiao on the sofa after a loong bath.
supposed to have trng at 10am. but of course i've totally exhausted all my energy.
and dinner with the nonsense gang. (: 









i love this wkend. 
and i just wanna thank God for keeping me safe and allowing me to have so much good memories.









Friday, March 01, 2013

WWJD

i have issues.
hahas. seriously.
on 2 separate occasions.


ok, i think u shouldn't bother even reading this post.
coz i think u'll change ur impression of me.
ok, maybe i dont really know what u think of me, but i guess after reading this post, u'll be shock to know what my mind is capable of such childish thoughts even though i've walked through life through this stage.





as a christian holding on to the Word,
as a girl growing up in a convent sch with strong sch values,
and as a daughter being brought up in a, well.. typically proper family in sg,
i think i should be ashamed of what my actions. whether i mean them or not.


today.. i got so mad at a car. so for that stretch of road down to trng, i hated every single car around me. for speeding cars close behind me, i reduce my speed significantly. for super slow cars, i tailgate.


situaiton #1.
ok, so here's the story.
i wanted to stop by the side to put in my cash card coz i totally didn't see the ERP gantry coming up. i've never travelled CTE at that time before and rarely taken that exit. amk ave 5. so i wasn't aware of that ERP in operation. i signaled right, and wanted to stop by the side. but the car behind kept horning. i mean i wasn't blocking the road k. though it was a one-way road (which made things easier than a 2-way road), it was a wide road which can easily accomodate 1 + 3/4 width of a normal car. but the lady driver just had to honk me like mad. non-stop.
ok. i felt pressured, so i just rode on w/o a cash card in my IU, passing through the lited ERP gantry with an empty IU. this means i'm waiting for LTA to send me a letter to pay a $8 fine (if i rmbr correctly). i got damn mad. $0.75 vs $8. and somemore, instead of studying during the 2-day holiday before the 100 qns M11 exam coming up, i went to work. and for some reason, so many ppl ordered popeyes today. so i earned about $7 worth of allowance for the petrol fee. 10-6pm, just to... pay.off.this.fine.
UGH. road rage.

i got so so so angry, that i unwillingly lifted my right middle finger up so that the driver could see. it was a BMW btw. as she sped, i gave my pursuit which lasted for not more than 10sec coz immediately, i felt foolish, uncouth and super ill-mannered.


yes, by right i was wrong to want to stop at the side. but i wasnt obstructing any traffic right. and i wouldn't take me more than 10 sec to put my cash card in. but i guess some ppl are just some ppl. i should have practiced patience and tolerance instead of being so vulgar and just unbecoming. very ashamed of my actions, really. i mean, i could have escalated right. but i held be just in time before it did; perhaps tolerance and patience should have been a reflex action rather than through a latent thought process.
bah. unbecoming.





situation #2
and just ytd, something happened in sch.
i got sabotaged.
it wasn't like the for fun kind, but the seriously i-want-to-sabo-u kind.
wasn't anything major, but to me, internally, it was to an extent. not so much of the situation itself, but by how i responded to it.
i mean come on, my age vs what phase of life am i in now vs the ppl around me. we may not agree with each other on how things are done because of how differently we're being brought up, but it really speaks alot when u do such low actions. and by saying tt ur actions are low, i have set upon a form of judgement and its something i dont want to do.

basically, we're supposed to write our emails on a piece of paper being passed around. this is for some exam hints/tips that we're gonna get. so when the paper was finalized with the person who was collating it, he told me that my email got striked off. thankfully he knew my email add, so he checked with me first.

almost instinctively, my thought process got very practical and i started to identify evidences to point out who did it. it was being striked off in pencil. and there's one email, being written in pencil. and this person, i know, have some issues with me. and he always writes his stuff in pencil. the only one in class who does so. so it was like an outright suspect kinda thing. but i dont want to jump to conclusions. but well, the more i thought i give to it, the more i was bent into finding out who hated me to that extend. i know there's another guy who hates me in class though he doesn't own a pencil, neither did the ppl sitting around me owns one. for my classmates, i can say that 80% dont even bring stationary to sch (and i'm not talking about a complete pencil box, but just some form of writing material), let alone a pencil. so my suspects got narrowed down.
but all these evidences aren't concrete. eh. i watch hk dramas and i know what's solid evidences which can be validated and whats not. hahahs.  but anyway, i did become a tad too bitchpls with that first prime suspect that i jokingly went up to him (w/o any form of clarification or anything) and said "eh, ask u ah, u got some probs with me issit. hahas". yes, with that 'haha'.
but his answer just had to further support my suspicion when he said "err.. why?". hahahs. i mean he could like jokingly 2-facedly say "no." with a ha-ha back right.

ok. as i continue to type this down, i feel that i'm freakin' shallow.



anyway. so the guy who's doing the collation was one of my closer friends in sch, so he knew the whole thing and in the end, didn't include him in the email thread.
ok.
initial reaction: hah, serves u right.
but after like sec, i just felt so ashamed of my actions and the 4-letter acronym came up to my head.
WWJD
what would Jesus do.
love ur neighbour as urself?
do what you want others to do unto you?
your thoughts are your actions?
if he slaps u on e right, let him slap u on the other?

that's all what the Word says.
and the Word, being written by the prophets and ppl like such of the olden days, was from God.
so if those are God's words, they're... "God's Words lehh"-with a its-serious-you-know-singlish tone to it. how sia.

the more i thought about it, the more i knew i should again, be more patience, kind, loving, understanding, faithful, and at least be honest to myself.  :/


and it was gym day with gym buddy.
and to cut the long short, i shared with my gym buddy. and i think, he accidentally let out some signs for me to know that he knew who it was.
and for him to know who it was, it couldn't have been the prime suspect i thought of all along, but the other 2 whom were my secondary suspects. though i pestered him to tell me who it was, he didn't. good la, at least it proves that he's a trust-worthy friend, keeping to his promise to his other friend. and also, he somehow knew that the email wasn't sent out to my prime suspect, so he took the initiative to forward the email to him. ok.
and my initial reaction to that was: good, glad that he send it out.
the honest intention for that goodness wasnt because it satisfied by remote guilt and subtle remorse, but i was genuinely secretly happy that yes, my prime suspect who has some issues with me did recieve those exam tips/hints for his own good.







and so, i both occasions in these 2 days, i haven't been that good; i.e not so positive. not just being negative, but just blatantly self-centred and to an extent, selfish.
i'm not going to blame anything or anyone around me, but when ppl start doing bad things so normally that it really becomes a norm, personally, u will lean towards that tangent to thinking that 'doing bad is ok'.
then it becomes socially acceptable.
in context, its just like a social shift, how the generation moves. how market researchers have their classifications of the Gen X Gen Y ppl and ll. its all about how society thinks, moves, adapts and perceive what's socially acceptable which in turn, have some effects on our personal principles and values.



i know i'm not like that and i think i should start being disciplined about it.
i guess its something that i have to take some conscious effort for a change to happen. i dont want it to be a habit, but i want it to be something i truly and sincerely believe in.






anyway. still trng hard.
ytd, after gym, went to take my 2.4km timing and was damn sad. in sec sch, my cca was bowling, though it's a sport, its not THAT of a physical one if u compare it to touch football or rugby. and now, after much physical trngs in my life, i'm sad to say, my timing increased by 2 mins.
after that i tried to do incline pull-ups. and i rmbr doing like 21 in 30sec in sec sch.
doing alone at the fitness corner, i found myself struggling after a miserable 7.
it feels like my #lifehasbeealie. all that trng and now, such results.
of course, its not a fair comparison coz when i'm younger, i'm light with lesser mass also right.
ok and maybe the bar wasn't the right height and stuff like that la.




it finally came.
too late, coz it'll be a day 4 and still in the cycle by sunday. ): woes of being a lady.
and today, super aching from gym.
and everything made my back very very superly sore and miserable in the morng.







how exciting my life is not right.
and i think i am gg to really die on sunday. coz instead of 12k, the run's and with all the obstables is actually 14km.
amen.




and to end off with a quote for my coach today, in pursuit to making our last 4 or 5 trngs count before the Finals....






"what we think is not important. (laughs) ok, no. i mean,
It is important that what we think, but it should not be more important than what needs to be done"