Thought of blogging abit though its pretty late now and i've got morng shift tmr (or rather later).
ok. so yesterday night...mother poon was carrying a pot of hot soup and just as she ended her sentence " Beanie dont run around later i fall down ah.." then she really fell. omg. in such situations, ur brain processes things in slow mo details. i can rmbr vividly the moment she fell. the pot of hot soup slipped to the side, i saw her foot trip over the sofa, and she fell face down with the soup below her. she was in between the sofa and the table so her head didnt hit the corner of the table hard, but the hot soup was all over her front. i still rmbr her wailing and crying out loud. for a moment, i think my sis and i froze abit coz as she was falling down, i rmbr my sis and i couldn't do anything about it. my sis was holding her dog then, so it wasn't the dog that tripped her.
mother poon really had a bad start of the day to begin with. she accidentally cut her hand while cutting some meat, especially when she just sharpened the knife the day before. the blood kept oozing out and despite my experience with wounds from work and rugby, it was really a challenge to treat her nonstop bleeding wound. i had to add a folded tissue paper over the wound and tape it down as to mimic a pressing down pressure to stop the bleeding.
so back at the accident, when she fell, idky i had effected no physical actions to stop her fall. tbh, i think quite highly of myself when it comes to performing at such critical moments. i believe i have sufficient life experiences and intrinsic life-saving motivation to have useful instincts to save / protect a life; further more, its my mother eh. but yea, i saw her on the floor over the soup, tunghoon, smashed up potato and tofu. i rmbr being almost shaken but i there's more practical things to do like to bring my mother to the bathroom and run tap water all over her. i think my sis had to also calm the dog and put her in the room so that she'll be out of this mess for awhile. the dog does sense what's going on.
as i showered her, i think mother poon was in physical shock coz she was starting to calm down and started to peel off her falling skin. i asked her 'eh siao. not pain meh'. she said no. 2 reaons; either a full blown adrenaline rush, or her nerves might be erm.. severely affected. i choose to think its adrenaline and pray that it is. adding on, mother poon has a very high threshold of pain, owing to the fact that she suffered so much while giving birth to me, specifically. she's didnt have so much probs when she had my sis.
i asked her if she wanted to go to the hospital.. she said its ok. then i was like, 'mummy, i dont think this is gg to be simple', as i continue to nag at her to not peel the falling skins off her chest and knee. as i took a closer look at her kness, it was like both her knees were like 2 big while oval patches. with my rugby astro and bike road burns, i knew this is not gg to be as easy as it seems. as with burns, it always look fine until like a few hours later and u'll realize the extent of the damage the next day and hell awaits you the following week.
after about 10mins running through water, i told my sis, i think u better make her go to the hospital. at least a&e coz i know this is gg to be serious. mother poon was still peeling off her skin, telling me to go clean up the soup and hall.... 'make sure that the cupboad dont kena the soup'. #mothers
in the end, its better than my sis send my mum to the hospital. they took grab go. ahha, i actually initially suggested to call an ambulance. looking back, that was really a not rational decision of me coz i know i could have evaluated more optimally. but yes, she went to cgh with my sis in grab. so i focused on cleaning off all the hot soup, and mopping the floor and kitchen. during the whole time, the dog was barking and u could tell that she was frantic and wanted to help or something.
after i was semi-done with cleaning up the mess, i call one of my closer cousin ah hee to inform him. as i told him what happened, i rmbr my voice started shaking. u know the pre-breakdown kind of cry. i dont think i had enough space to feel sad about it, its more like, for once, i think i was very afraid. its like, u dont really know what exactly are you afraid of. i mean, i've alrdy assessed everything to the best of my knowledge and ability so i know i shouldn't worry that much bc it is not life threatening or anything though it is severe. i'm glad i managed to inform him properly, keeping my tone low. i hung up the phone, and focused on Beanies' barking. by then the floor was more or less clean enough for little animals to step around, so i went to my sis room to open the door. Beanie ran out and u could tell that she was frantically looking for my mum and sis. she ran to the kitch, then to my mum's room, then my sis' room, then came running to look at me with there 'where are they?' face. i said, 'beanie, they went to the hospital, everything is ok, they're not at home'. she paused awhile, then continue running to the kitchen, my mum's room and my sis' room and back to me again. i think it went on like this for about half an hour while i was sitting down and chill awhile.
i mopped the floor like 3 times, tried to clean everything to the best of my ability while sis updates me of the situation. so yea mother poon suffered 2nd deg burns to her chest, knees and finger, and was given a pain killer jab and another tetanus jab. it was about 9.30pm when it all happened. they came back by about 12.30am while i was eating the scrubs i picked up from the floor and put back into the pot lol. several reason i did it, 1. the floor is clean. 2. mother poon cooked the dish so hard so must eat. 3. all these happened, all the more i must eat this. 4. i love tunghoon, tofu, beef and potato. and guess what. mother poon being a mother, started to dry the clothes. (wtf?!) i was like.. eh wth. she was like 'no no must dry the clothes' crazy. idk if it was her way of distracting herself from the pain or what, but it really did seemed like nothing happen.
ok so. the a&e bill cost $126. this is a new pcs of information. so if u go a&e for whatever reasons, whether u break a leg, have a fever or go through what mother poon went through, it's still $126.
so today, she had an appt to go back at 9.30am to change the dressing. for the first time (i think), mother poon was serious in confessing about the pain. she's ok, and pretty positive about it. but i think she's very very mentally tired from it. my sis was also tired. my sis and i are both the same. we dont show 'weakness' to the family. the ironic thing abt our family is that though we're all very frank and just speak our minds, we never show sadness or weakness. we show tlc in more legit and tangible actions. we just dont say hearts and flowers.
so was we waited to collect the meds, i looked at mother poon when she's not looking. i looked at her super bandaged up knees, her worn out face and in her loose pyjamas sitting at cgh. i felt abit... idk how to put it. its like, unfilial. coz so old alrdy the mother poon have to go through all these pain. this kind of burn pain ah.. the first week is hell. i rmbr burning my arm coz it accidentally rubbed against one of the HP duct of the ac engine and it had a small blister. its really a damn small... maybe like a 1.5" burnt length, no thicker than 0.3"... and it was freaking painful. i dun think i can imagine the pain mother poon is experiencing right now. some more she's like reaching 70? haiz.
ok so. the bill today was almost $200 or smth. but with the merdeka discount, i paid about $76. she has another appt on fri to change the dressing again.. so i think its gg to be about that price. but seriously, as they changed the dressing, i could hear the nurses doing so through the curtains, and i think u can feel the little sounds that mother poon was making coz it was pain. it wasn't loud.. but if u pay attention to it, u know that it is really painful. even the nurse praised her for not crying out loud and all... but u know its more pain than what we can think it is. of course, mother poon being mother poon, still say 'this one (the pain) still ok... i give birth to my 2 daughters lagi pain ah'. hahas gee.
so yea. that's the episode.
actually there's more to blog about but i'm getting abit tired and i need to wake up in 3hrs for morng shift. ok, let me try and sum up the remaining highlights, also coz i think some of them are recurring issues.
one of the man highlight is that my sis moved back in.
the next major highlight is that Beanie, the dog has moved in too. i'm really not a dog lover, but she clings on to me alot though she's like a relatively scared dog. i still believe i'm not a dog lover, but i think Beanie is a little girl. i wanna blog more about my feelings and r/s with beanie just to document it down, but not tonight. ahhas.
other than that, COVID. still very much like this. not much activities. still thinking about studying. still packing my room. still not running not hitting the gym coz my excuse is that i need all the time to pack my room which is not 100% true coz when i'm home, i'm playing my phone games.
ok, lastly, my mental health. still missing thinking of you here and there.
still believing that i'm really happy and satisfied with my wellbeing like this.
but as some of u might know, studying has been my form of escapism. so w/o any studies now, i think i'm running out of outlets other than here.
hmmm. also some persons have been msging me. they're all nice ppl. but i can sense my defensive walls which are invisible but there. i try not to think about anything, but i also know myself; though i would say not well enough. but the good thing is, thanks for k1 and k2, i know i'm practicing more self-love. perhaps being overprotective of myself, but i dont think its a bad thing. in any way, i just hope i dont lose my friends eventually, especially the special ones. idk what the best way to manage it now, but imo, its best to smother a spark than to allow even a warm fire.
i wish to blog more coz it feels like vomitting 3/4 out, but good night world.
