ok. before i start trying to clear my backlog of stuff, i need to present to u my current situation.
the thing is, i'm surprisingly calm about it. its probably trained since young with my thousand and one commitments.
ok so, recently, i won this big photography award by ICAO. honestly, i submitted an entry just because its a photography competition that is related to aviation. its an international competition, i had no hopes. i mean, i dont even hope for those competitions in sg, further more ICAO. (its the biggest aviation org... if u're not an Aviator, its like... sending ur photo to a Google photo competition.. smth like that.)
yea. so, i got the email just last wk that i actually won.
it was funny coz i just reached my work car park and was otw to work when i saw the email starting with "Congratulations, you have been selected as the winner of.." then i continued reading blankly and then i was like.. whutt... i'm what winner? OH. omg. hahahs. then uncle J was there, so i kept telling him how darn happy and blessed i was. what an opportunity.. and gg to montreal!? where is that sia?!
but here's the current situation / backlogg of stuff that i need to jot it down to just clear my thoughts.
- exams starts 3rd wk of Nov. (i have 4 papers. thinking of not gg for the Aero Materials one coz its really v heavy and i dont even have time to read up/ let alone study.) so 3 papers, 1 is about intellectual property, shouldn't be a prob.. but its the other 2.. Analogue and Digital that i'm damn weak and have no idea what is it all about. i wanted to start studying seriously in sept but just cant coz..
- shooting the Singapore University Games for SIM, also for $.
- shot amanda & sz's pre wedding shoot coz they're my fav couple (and i dont do wedding freelance btw)
- so now, u can think of the amt of photos i have to edit asap. i just saw my camera, its about 1000 photos, and i've already saved some onto my computer liao... so 1000+ ?! (maybe about 8 sports.. i can't even count)
- need to buy harddrive, coz my macbk can't be backed up
- just cleared 2 lab reports. started late coz we all didnt have the data initially. so i didn't sleep since last fri's evening shift till Monday night during lect/ submission day. so from fri-mon, i had 3 cumulative hrs of slp.. and to up the level, thurs evening was APU AND ENGINE change with 7 men strength, while fri night is ENGINE change again. (imagine the state i was in when i was doing my report at 4am in my sister's room since i go back from work at 12pm, non stop)
- have work tmr, gg sch aft that and gg kl on friday till monday for...
- gg Camp5 on fri
- spartan sprint on sat
- spartan beast on sun
- probably gg to die and drag my lifeless body back to sg by mon
- haven't packed.
- tue start work. sch after that. class test at 10.30pm after that.
- wed 11.30am-11pm work
- thurs 4pm-2am work
- fri started my leave coz got LMD bowling tournament at 7pm.
- fri another essay assignment due
- fri i NEED TO BE IN THE AIRPORT BY 10.40AM. (aft bowling) flight at 12.40am.
- my leave haven't clear through coz company is not supportive of me gg of this event / they dont see this as a big event.
- my boss want to change my shift schedule
- my dept dont allow to take time off / not support of studying
- i'm supposed to be in this wellness meeting for projects
- i owe this guys some safety memo
- haven't pack by bag / thought of the essentials things to pack/bring to montreal
- i have no cold clothes (legit warm jackets) for montreal (heard its can be5deg there) gosh, i dont even have nice gg out clothes for the cold. or shoes (coz in sg, its all crocs and my sport shoes)
- i dont have office clothes (old one from poly days probably can't fit) to go to the Conferences in montreal to and a black tie dinner?! make-up i have, but knowing that i'm there all along with no help but youtube is really a stress on its own
- have an online quiz to clear while i'm in montreal. 10% weightage
- lab test on the wkend when i'm back. need to practice all the labs and go through them coz i really duno know how to do but i really can't find any time to do so.
- heard that i'm supposed to be doing my course selection there as well. system opens for 24 hrs or many 2 days? cant rmbr.
- haven't booked my accommodation. coz i need a hostel that has a socket and near the train station
- been having wierd localized headaches since i hit my head at the drain mast of the engine 2 months ago. tried to see a doc this morng coz just wanted to get it checked. waited 1hr, but because of sooo many complications, it will not happen. so angstily, i went back to work, without having breakfast (missing out my usual breakfast at hangar with my guys.)
- my phone battery is screwed. situation is like eg for today, i leave my house at 5.15am with 100%. i use spotify while riding to work.. abt 10mins. then off. then walk to office another 15mins, my batt left 86%. i whatsapp, check my email, by 6am, its like 67%. i should be able to get a phone in nov aft my exams, but it needs to survive me-alone-and-montreal first.
- coz i'm sooo tired, i miss my ex. (gee, i still have time for this.)
- and this guy in sch is being damn nice to me. i'm scared coz i dont want to lose another friend to all these nonsensical stuff. it just propagates fast. i've probably inspired him by the things i do in life, but i guess that's that that's confusing him. confused no? hopefully its just my baseless assumptions give my... experience
- i miss another you, awkwardly. its like, not many ppl have made me stop by the expressway just to check on ur text and reply them. or like, sometimes i hope i can just easily do a u-turn to meet you. on several occassions... my bday, i wanted to meet u, but u didn't even made any effort to meet. and i'm abit irritated coz i do understand y not and angry at me being annoyed by me being annoyed. then ytd, u had school and my shoot ended early at ur sch. i didnt want to go home aft tt even though i was darn tired coz i thought i could meet u. i didn't dare text. so i waited. but perhaps its also coz of my pounding headache that i didn't want to ride out too soon as well. about 1.5hr, i was like.. wtf was i doing. so i rode home. just as i enter AYE, u texted. i stopped by the road... and was hoping u'd ask me to stay. but again, i emotionally gave up or rather, persisted that i should go home, so i sped home, reaching home in 15mins.
and today, work was mad. failed doc trip. nvm. worked till reach office about 4.40pm. (no food, since morng.) hurried down to sch hoping to beat the jam. passed by ur sch to mine. shot netball. finished and was TOO TIRED to head home, so watched the NTU VS NUS match awhile. while getting onto my bike, was still checking my phone if u'd msg coz i didn't want to ask if u had sch today. so what if u had or not right. hoping that i could meet b4 i go kl /montreal and all at least. then again, just at the start of PIE, u texted, i stopped by the side of road and switched off my engines even w/o thinking. still hoping that u'd ask to meet, and u asked for supper! initial feelings were like,.. finally. but that was brief,... maybe for like tt 2sec, before saying, ok, mother poon cooked though.
u see its just me. i'm just being damn girl. u nv ask her out, she whole day think y nv ask. then when u ask, she may not agree to meet. i always condemn such girls/guys without decision making skills and never in my life did i thought i'd fall into this category of people. :/ its just like.. when u dont text, i'm like y he never text. when he does, i'm like, how to reply to dont sound more than tt. idk wtf this feeling is. i can't say that i've had a crush on u coz i have to admit that i dont know u that well. we've been texting for 2 yrs (omg) and its just tt. idk how to explain and idk what i'm feeling also. somedays (like today) i just feel i need you, likka shoulder to just lean on and share the load pls, but on most days, i tell myself i dont need u and i dont quite know u enough to even understand what all this is about. bottom line is, i'm just really tired and i want to stop all these nonsense.
really hard to work and study if ur company is NOT supportive of u studying. WDA, SKILLSFUTURE and all these whatever sg-promote-to-study.. are u seeing this?
on paper, the company can be supportive and all, but really, at the end of the day, the answer you get to everything is - OPS DEMAND. everything is ops demand. u have no right. u have u say. ur opinions dont matter because... OPS DEMAND.
ok. anyway, glad i got my shit organized. now to transfer all the photos into this com to bring up to kl to edit the phones, and clean my camera coz i'm finally done with shooting the games.
lastly, forget u.
